"Come on, Dave!"

I heard the voice but had no idea where it came from. But I definitely recognized it.

It was Private's. I'd know that sweet, innocent little voice anywhere, but how did he find me here?

I followed the voice down the empty corridor a ways before I heard it again back in the direction I'd come.

"No, silly! This way!"

I turned back and found myself near the penguin habitat of the Brasil Zoo.

"You're getting warmer!"

I turned to my left and there amongst other penguins, little Private stood with his sweet, loving smile.

"You found me!" he said happily, holding his flippers open for a hug.

I smiled and climbed over the wall into the penguin habitat, making my way over to him. I picked him up and held him close.

"Private!" I said with an overwhelming joy. "I thought I'd never see you again! How did you find me?"

Private looked up at me from in my arms. "We found out you'd been transferred and found your papers. Finally, we tracked you down. It's so good to see you again!" he explained, hugging me.

"What about the others? Where are they?" I asked as I realized they were nowhere to be seen.

"They went out looking for you," Private explained.

"Oh, well, we should go find them then," I said, turning around only to be faced with a group of angry penguins wielding sporks.

"Put that baby penguin down, you monster!" one of them demanded in a Brazilian accent, threatening to stab me with her spork.

"Whoa!" I said, holding up a few of my arms in surrender. "Hey, I'm not going to hurt the little guy. We're friends."

"Yeah, right," another chided. "Put him down! This is your final warning!"

I was tempted to fight, but they looked ready to strike, and I didn't want Private to be caught in the crossfire, so I gave in and gently set him down. One of the penguins rushed forward and pulled him back, despite Private's struggles.

"Now, get out!" another ordered.

I kept a few of my arms up, trying to show them that I wasn't the bad guy. "Wait, please!" I begged. "I'm not gonna hurt anyone!"

They continued to come at me, thrusting their sporks in my direction. Private cried out to me, but his pleas were lost in the chorus of angry penguins.

"Back, you monster!"

"Get out of here!"

"No one wants you around!"

"Go on!"

I backed out over their habitat's enclosures and I turned to see more angry faces, but this time, human. They came at me with brooms, tranquilizer guns, pocket knives, and other various tools of intimidation. I backed away again and looked back at Private, who was calling out for me, his voice lost among the commotion.

"Private!" I called back.

I looked back to the angry humans closing in on me, pushing me farther away from the penguin habitat. A flash of black and white caught my eye at their feet and I saw Skipper, Kowalski, and Rico trying to break through the crowd, but they kept getting stopped by a pair of big human feet.

"Guys!" I called to them. "Get out of here before you get hurt!"

They shouted to me, but I couldn't make anything out.

"Get in there, you hideous beast!" one of the humans demanded.

Wait, get in where? I thought. My question was answered for me when I felt myself back into something. I turned to see a shipping container marked "OCTOPUS."

"Wait, no!" I pleaded. The humans kept advancing, and I had no choice but to climb into the container unless I wanted to be stabbed or beaten with something.

They prodded at all my limbs until I was completely in the container and they shut it on top of me. I looked out of the little hole in the front.

"Wait!" I called. "You can't do this!"

I felt the humans pick up the container and load it onto a truck. I saw my little penguins running after them before a human picked them up and carried them back to their habitat.

"No! Put them down! Leave them alone! They're just children!" The world felt like we were moving through jelly as I pounded at the top of the container as the doors to the truck I was loaded in closed me in darkness. "No!

"Wait!"

I woke up from my nightmare with a jolt when I bumped my head on something, not remembering where I was. I turned sharply around, pushing at the walls of the tiny enclosure. There was a faint light shining in through the little window at the top and I remembered that I was once again on a plane, being shipped to a new zoo. There must've been some turbulence. I breathed slowly as I settled back to the bottom of the container. I felt so . . . empty inside.

I scolded myself for letting my mind dream about the penguins. As if they were really looking for me. Like I said, they were probably happy that I was gone. They get all the attention to themselves. Even though they had that even before I was transferred.

Bored out of my mind during the long flight to who-knows-where, I absentmindedly pressed the suckers of one arm against the side of my container and listened to the string of consecutive pops when I pulled it free. I wondered if the hypnotizing pops of bubble wrap was the equivalent for humans.

I wondered how long I was in Brazil. It felt like forever, but that could've just been because it was practically torture, living in inner solitude for so long. It could've been a couple weeks or a couple months as far as I'm concerned. Next thing I know, I was being transferred again.

I told myself I wouldn't get my hopes up this time. It was highly unlikely that it'd be penguins that would take away all the attention this time, but I imagined if they didn't, something would. Or nothing would, and I would just be too uninteresting. It wasn't my fault that all my props were left back in New York. I had nothing to work with other than my camouflaging, which I guess gets pretty boring after a while since humans don't stick around to see it anymore. So why waste my energy?

A few hours later, the plane landed and I waited for someone to come get me. When I was finally pushed out of the plane, I was greeted with a clear evening and a seemingly warm climate. I was loaded onto a truck and off we went to yet another zoo. After a short drive, the truck came to a stop and the driver climbed into the back of the truck and carted me out.

At first, I didn't notice. Okay, some people here, some people there, some animals in their habitats way over there. Then it hit me.

Most of the people here were pretty dark-skinned. Like, really dark-skinned. Lighter-skinned people were fewer and farther between than I'd ever seen. Where was I?

I scanned the area until I finally found a sign that said: Nairobi Zoo.

Nairobi? Okay, now I was completely lost. I had no recollection of where Nairobi was on the map. I didn't even know if that was a city or a country. Wherever it was, it definitely felt like a long way from home. Like, way farther than Brazil.

I was carted over to a tank — one smaller than my tank in San Diego, but slightly larger than the one from Brazil — and casually dumped inside. My tank was right on the corner of an intersection, so I had two adjacent windows to my tank, where I could see a wider range of people. At least this tank was a little better than the one in Brazil. Not next to the bathrooms, so that was a plus. I looked to see who my neighbors were.

There was a fish tank across the aisle through one window, with different colored fish swimming about. Through the other window, I saw a seal across the aisle, who was, at the moment, playing with a ball. I felt a pang of jealousy. They get a prop.

Okay, I thought, feeling relief wash over me. No penguins around. If I was lucky, it would be the seal that would steal the show. A nice change of pace.

Hello, Nairobi. My new . . . "home."

— § —

It was only about an hour before closing when I'd arrived, so I didn't really get the chance to have that much attention. The next morning, however, I was shocked.

When the zoo opened, I had several spectators come to my tank. I was so surprised that I just stood there for a few moments trying to figure out what to do. I didn't have anything to work with except myself and my environment. I hadn't really performed for anyone since New York. But if I took too long thinking about it, they would surely become bored. I went with my first instinct and ducked behind some vegetation, and then blended in with the algae. I peeked and watched the humans look for me for a moment.

I took a deep breath. It's showtime.

I did my trademark move: jumping from my hiding place and turning back to my purple color all in a split-second, surprising all the spectators. They watched me with awe. As my confidence grew, I felt a smile tug at my lips. New fans! I tried not to let my hopes get too high, but I couldn't help myself. If only I had more to work with . . .

Across the aisle, I saw a man giving children balloon animals. An idea started to dawn on me.

I needed to entertain these people, but I didn't have any props. I already established that all I had was myself and my environment. I don't know many tricks I could do with vegetation or rocks, but I can definitely take advantage of myself. I don't just have my camouflage going for me.

I angled my body away from the humans so they couldn't see what I was doing. Then I looked at a few of my arms and thought for a moment. What would a human want to see? I made my decision and set to work. A minute later, I turned toward the humans with my masterpiece.

I had twisted a few of my arms around each other and flexed them in such a way that it resembled a lion cub, a much better one than I think the man across the aisle could've done with his balloons, if I do say so myself. And I do.

If that wasn't good enough, I had also changed the color of my skin around my "arm animal" so that it resembled the little lion cub I remembered from The Lion King. I don't know if they caught that or not, but either way, they started pulling out their cameras and phones and taking pictures and recording videos. I grinned with confidence and laughed. They like me! They really like me!

But I couldn't stop there! I turned again and tried to think of something else to make. When I made a decision, I constructed my arm animal and turned around, holding up a turtle, which I made swim through the water a little for the humans. They loved it! Is there a word to describe this feeling of excitement?

I continued on to make a chimp, a zebra, a hippo, a giraffe, and a lemur, and then I started running out of ideas. That's when I decided, why did it have to be animals? I could do so much more than that!

The humans continued to awe at my talent, and I started making other things, like a racecar, a submarine, a helicopter, a motorcycle, and a bunch of other things I remembered seeing back in New York City. The humans loved it! The crowd actually grew around me. It grew! Even some of my first spectators were still standing there. I don't know if I'm elated or inky, but I'm somewhere in that zone!

This felt absolutely amazing. I actually had fans here! I just knew I was going to be the next big thing in this zoo. I knew I missed my life as a star in New York, but I hadn't realized just how much until I got a taste of it again.

I spent all day entertaining humans. They were so entertained by my ability to make arm animals and other various arm creations. The zookeeper even threw a ball into my habitat, which I later learned had belonged to the seal. I incorporated it into my act with all I had. Whatever came to mind, however silly or outrageous, I did it without a second thought. If I wasn't sure how to pull it off, I found a way. I even made a pony and balanced the ball on its head. And I loved it.

After the zoo closed, and the zookeepers shooed all the humans out of the exit, I floated around my habitat in a happy, whimsical dance, giggling embarrassingly. I felt like I was on top of the world. So long I'd gone without this kind of attention, and I forgot about that rush I used to get at the end of each day.

That feeling that I was never truly alone as long as someone loved me.

I let that thought ring in my mind for a moment. I was never truly alone as long as someone loved me. I felt my smile fall and I looked down at my arms. As if in a trance, I started twisting around and tucking in the ends of my arms until I made myself a new arm animal.

A baby penguin.

I stared at it for a long time. Images flashed through my mind of the time I spent with the penguins. I started to feel guilty for the resentment I'd felt for them. They were children. They were my children. I'm the one that closed myself off from them. I'm the one that pushed them away. It was no wonder that they ignored me. I didn't give them any reason to try and get my attention. I could've gone to them and I didn't, all because I was too selfish and prideful to take the initiative — to be the adult I had insisted I was. It was my own fault I was transferred. If I'd mended our relationship and made things right, we could've been a family again. Then the zoo wouldn't have had the heart to transfer me — to separate us. At least, I'd hope they wouldn't. I guess even if they would've transferred me anyway, at least I wouldn't have left the penguins with so many things left unsaid.

I held my little penguin closer, imagining that it was Private — the one that had brought me into the penguins' lives. If I hadn't been underwater at that moment, it might've been easier to tell that tears were welling in my eyes.

I wanted them back.

I didn't care about anything that had happened between us at the end. If there's one thing parenting taught me, it was that a parent's love was unconditional. Any resentment I'd felt toward them were the products of my insane paranoia and insecurity I'd developed since the humans first started to ignore me. It wasn't them, it was me feeding these lies to myself so I could have someone to blame . . . because I was afraid that one day, my insecurities wouldn't just be insecurities – that there would really be no one to love me. But that was a lie. I knew that the penguins were my family. More family than I'd ever known.

I didn't hate them. I hated myself. How could I ever have harbored so much unjustified hatred toward the four fluffballs I held closest to my hearts? I still loved them. All I wanted to do was tell them that. More than anything. More than my own insatiable thirst for attention. I was selfish. Those humans back in San Diego were right. I was nothing but a monster. A selfish monster that didn't care what happened to anyone else as long as he got what he wanted. I squeezed my little penguin to my neck. My thirst for attention from the humans didn't compare to my longing to see my little fluffballs again. I wanted to hold them close and hear their little voices again, which were still sharp in my memory but would never compare to the real thing.

I swore to myself that one day I would find a way to get back to New York City. I would tell them that I'm sorry. It was doubtful that they would be transferred. The people loved them. And I didn't see any possible way they could escape even if they wanted to without me there to get them over the fence. What would they do? Dig their way out?

They probably woke up with no clue where I was. They were probably there on the island, waiting for me to return, and now they figured it was a lost cause. They probably figured I was gone forever. That I'd abandoned them.

I wrapped a couple of other arms around my little penguin and settled down. I smiled a small smile. I was going to see them again one day. I could just feel it.

I couldn't wait to see their faces.

— § —

THEY CAME BACK.

The next morning, I woke up about three hours before opening time and I couldn't go back to sleep because I started having doubts. Like, what if yesterday was just a one-time thing? What if the humans wouldn't visit me again? What if they were already bored with me? I was so flooded with anticipation and insecurity that three hours seemed like three years. When the zoo opened, I held my breath.

Then they came to my tank again! Some of them were my spectators yesterday! And they came back to see me! Me! I was so overjoyed. I really had actual fans here! Don't you just love Nairobi?

It felt good. I'd gone what felt like months with virtually no attention from anyone, and now all of the sudden, a whole new legion of fans was thrust upon me so unexpectedly that it felt overwhelming. In a good and bad way. Good because I obviously loved the attention; bad because I had this blinding fear that it could be taken away at any given moment, just like in New York.

But I promised myself that this time would be different. No, no. Don't get me wrong. I don't mean that I promised myself it wouldn't come to an end. I had already pre-accepted that as a possibility. I mean that I promised myself that when and if it did end, I would be grateful that I had the chance to have it again. I had previously been afraid I'd never be loved again. But I was, even if only temporarily. I was prepared for the possibility of my popularity dying off. I would just make the most of it while I had it.

I saw a tourist and her male companion approach my tank. She wore a black cap that said "I NY." I stared at it for a minute as she took a picture of me. I bet she'd seen my little fluffballs back in Central Park. I looked at her male companion and read his shirt. It had words on it that I didn't recognize, but looked familiar — perhaps in whatever language Nairobians speak — but nonetheless, the words somehow made me feel kind of good. I didn't really understand why. It just felt good saying it. The words made me feel as if . . . I didn't need to worry about anything.

Hakuna matata. What a wonderful phrase.

— § —

You know that phrase, déjà vu? The feeling that you've done, seen, and/or heard something before? What do you call it when you actually have done, seen, and/or heard it before?

Three days passed and I was a popular attraction at this zoo. This morning, everyone hates my guts, the rest of my innards, and my outtards as well. How did everyone all of the sudden turn on you? you ask. One word.

Penguins.

Oh, no! It couldn't have been anything else! It had to be penguins! It couldn't have been a seal, or a kitten, or hey, why not a flipping giraffe? No. It was penguins. Of course.

Here's the dealio. I'm just peacefully slumbering in my tank, a new octopus. Transformed, happy, and content. Then I wake up to a commotion just outside my tank. A group of people come in, shoving back a crowd of spectators and two camera crews. They come to a stop not too far from my habitat. I listened to the reporter that spoke in English with an accent as the cameraman focused on her.

"Breaking news! Here at the Nairobi Zoo, a team of wildlife activists have found a penguin chick stranded on a block of ice. According to the theory of the head activist, Ukatili Kejeli, the penguin may have been adrift for days, and it is unlikely that any of its rookery knew of its predicament. It is extremely lucky that it has survived, but even more lucky that the activists found it when they did. When the chick was found, it was just seconds from death. It is unknown what provoked the predator into targeting it, but the activists were able to save it before any damage was done."

The cameras turned to focus on the small penguin chick that was inside a makeshift nest of blankets. It reminded me of Private. So young. So adorable.

"Mheshimiwa Kejeli," the reporter said, addressing the man standing next to the woman holding the nest, "tell the public what this horrible creature was." She held the microphone toward him as the other reporter, who was reporting the same message in the language of the Nairobians, also held her microphone up to catch his answer.

Kejeli scratched the back of his neck. "I'm not sure why it was going after the penguin, as its usual prey is small crabs, shrimp, and sometimes fish, but nonetheless, an octopus was attacking this sweet little penguin."

The reporter speaking in the other language gave a quick translation while the other asked another question.

"What did you and your team do?" she asked, holding the mic toward him again.

"We didn't harm the octopus," Kejeli replied. "It fled when it heard the motor of our boat. Luckily, we were able to get to the penguin before the octopus poisoned it. The blue-ringed octopus is one of the deadliest inhabitants in the ocean."

The English-speaking reporter turned back to the camera, preparing to say something. But before she did, she looked past the cameraman at me with her brow lowering in confusion, and then raising in shock. She turned the cameraman around so it was focused on me.

"Our news today," she said, coming around in front of the camera, but not blocking me, "octopus kind have turned against penguins. What will they develop a taste for next? Stay tuned."

The cameraman continued to focus on me as I stared in bewilderment. What did I do? The cameramen signaled that they had gone to commercial and the spectators around me stood around taking pictures and videos of me. Finally, I realized what they were freaking out about.

Did I mention I'd been sleeping with my arm-animal penguin every night? I still had it while this was going on without realizing it. And one of my arms was draped carelessly around its neck.

And all of the sudden, I'm a monster too. Nobody came to visit me. Those who did just chided me and called me a monster. My ball was given back to the seal. No one seemed to care that there could've been a logical explanation for what they saw.

I had believed that I could have a different life here. I had believed that nothing could possibly make my life worse. I had believed I could be loved again until I returned home. I had believed that my days being labeled as a monster were over. I had believed I might actually have a shot to start over. And I had believed Life had gotten bored with me and decided to go screw with someone else.

It's just no use. I can't believe. Not anymore.

— § —

Note: A big thanks and a shoutout to qwerty19 for giving me the "arm animal" idea.

The quotes in this chapter were: "It's showtime," spoken by Alex (portrayed by Ben Stiller) in Madagascar (2005); "They like me! They really like me!" is an often misquoted phrase, said by Sally Field in a speech given at the Oscars (the actual quote is, "you like me, right now, you like me"); "I don't know if I'm elated or gassy, but I'm somewhere in that zone!" spoken by Anna (portrayed by Kristen Bell) in Frozen (2013), although "gassy" was replaced with "inky" because octopuses don't have flatulence, per se, but rather they release an ink-like substance as waste; "Hakuna Matata. What a wonderful phrase," spoken by Timon (portrayed by Nathan Lane) in The Lion King (1994); "It's just no use. I can't believe. Not anymore," spoken by Cinderella (portrayed by Ilene Woods) in Cinderella (1950).

Lastly, "Ukatili Kejeli" is actually Swahili for "cruel irony."

Next chapter will be posted on August 13, 2023.