Over in Porkbelly, Nico, Johnny, Poliwag and Poromon are there for another awesome and great rescue.
Nico: Poromon, I want to thank you and Poliwag for coming with me.
Poromon: No problem. You are my partner and I can't leave a partner behind.
Nico: Thanks.
Johnny Test: I wonder what's going on here at home. I hope Eugene isn't pestering Susan again.
Nico: I hope not. That would be funny if we fought him though.
Poliwag: Yeah it sure would.
Suddenly they saw a huge ship in the shape of a huge chicken leg fly above them and it beamed them all up!
Nico: WHOA!
It flew into space!
Nico: WHOA! This is an awesome ship!
Poliwag: Wow!
Poromon: Nico, are you and the others still pissed at me and Poliwag for Buzz's party?
Nico: No way. I can never be mad at you two.
Johnny: That's good but hey I know this ship.
Nico: Really Johnny?
Johnny: Yep.
Then out came came two men in cloaks.
Johnny: Hey!
Nico: Whoa who are you guys?
Rib-Eye Knight 1: We are the Rib-Eye Knights! Protectors of All Things Meat Related from the Tri-Tip Galaxy. And we need your help again Johnny.
Johnny: It's awesome to see you guys again.
Rib-Eye Knight 1: Same here Johnny.
Nico: Oh I'm sorry. My name is Nico Chan. New Leader of Team Loud Phoenix Storm and it's an honor to meet you.
Rib-Eye Knight 1: It's an honor. And we need your help. You are our only hope.
Nico: What's the problem?
Johnny: Is Dark Vegan Threatening your planet again?
Rib-Eye Knight 2: Yes he is.
Poliwag: Don't worry. You can count on us!
Nico: If J.D. can defeat Dark Vegan and Johnny too then so can I.
Poromon: Why does Dark Vegan want to destroy your planet?
Rib-Eye Knight 2: He wants to destroy our homeworld, Planet Sirloin of the Salisbury Nebula. He wants to rid our galaxy of meat.
Nico: That fiend! But he is the kind of villain Jared would like and he eats vegetables. But he doesn't go that far thank goodnes. Too much honor for that.
Rid-Eye Knight 1: That is interesting.
Nico: But teach me your ways and I will gladly help you out.
Poromon: Me too!
Poliwag: Same here!
They were teleported to Sirloin and Nico trained in the ways of the Meat Force. He learned all sorts of great moves that the Jedi would be proud of.
Poromon: Can me and Poliwag train too?
The Rib Eye Knights nodded and the mascots trained too and they were given awesome Lightsticks. The blade was in the shape of a meat fork and they were endowed with the power of the ways of the meat and more. They even have the power to actually MAKE MEAT! WHOA! They were made official Rib-Eye Knights.
Nico: We're ready for this.
Dark Vegan then appeared!
Dark Vegan: I will destroy you Johnny Test!
Johnny Test: I don't think so!
Dark Vegan: (To Nico) Nico!? You're now a Rib-Eye Knight too?
Nico: That's right and also I'm now no longer Second in Command of the team. I've now been promoted to full time leader.
Poromon: Me and Poliwag are Rib Eye Knights too!
Poliwag: YEAH!
Dark Vegan: So I see.
Nico: You know Meat VS Vegetables is one of my favorite most delicious battles of all next making out with May.
Johnny Test: I prefer Meat any day over my dads barforama meatloaf.
Poromon: Lana still likes your dad's meatloaf.
Johnny Test: She can have as much as she wants.
Nico: Yep. Lets dance Vegan. And you would make a great member of our frenemies in the M.O.E. You have served enough jail time and are ready to join them.
Dark Vegan: I'm glad you think so. Lets dance!
They clashed.
Dark Vegan: (to Poromon and Poliwag) Wait. How are you two able to use your lightsticks with no hands?!
Poromon: With our minds.
Nico: I gave them psychic abilities long ago. Taste these. SAUSAGE WHIPLASH!
Nico made a sausage link whip and lashed Vegan all over with it.
Dark Vegan: Wow!
Nico: Top this. SCOTTISH HAGGIS GRAVY MAELSTROM!
He sent a tornado of Scottish Haggis Gravy and spun Dark Vegan in it and he was dizzy!
Poromon: Take this as well! CHICKEN DRUMSTICK MALLOT!
He formed a huge Chicken Drumstick and smashed Dark Vegan with it.
Nico: AWESOME!
Dark Vegan: How did you learn those amazing techniques?
Nico: We learned a massive plethora of techniques and powers over the entire time you were in prison. Our powers have evolved in a tremendous number of ways.
Johnny Test: They sure have and that Gravy technique Nico used would be one that Ed would love.
Poliwag: Yeah Ed LOVES GRAVY! He eats boatloads full of it.
Dark Vegan: That's a lot of gravy!
Nico: You wouldn't believe how much gravy he eats.
?: He sure eats a lot of gravy!
A Gourmand appeared.
Gourmand: (In a girl's voice) I had a feeling you were gonna be here Nico.
Nico: Melanie Flores! Wow!
Poromon and Poliwag: Melanie!
They hugged her.
Gourmand: Wow! Poromon and Poliwag you are looked great.
Poromon: I think you're about the same size as me and Poliwag now!
Gourmand: I think so.
Then Melanie reverted back to human and she was a spring green hair girl with pink eyes and she had green and yellow clothes on and pink boots.
Melanie Flores: Now I'm Nico's size.
Poromon: Awesome!
Melanie Flores: Now I have just the finisher for this Vegan Lover. INTERNATIONAL WORLD MEAT AVALANCHE!
She summoned a massive avalanche of meats from all over the world and it went at Dark Vegan!
Dark Vegan: Aw crud.
SPLAT!
He was knocked down and buried in a huge pile of meat!
Nico: AWESOME! You were taught in the ways of the meat too.
Melanie Flores: It was really awesome to master.
Johnny Test: What's your favorite memory of Nico?
Melanie Flores: I have many memories but I'm one of the Newspaper Club Members he had in high school. I was one of the Tabloid Idea Makers. Me and Nico did a really awesome story to humiliate the local bully Ron McCoy and he was massively infuriated when he saw that story we made on him.
Nico: I remember that. "Ron McCoy is Really a Deranged Lunatic that Collects Cow Hearts to Stuff Into his clothes to make himself tough."
Poromon: EW!
Poliwag: YUCK!
Nico: He actually is a collector of stuffed animals and we humiliated him and made him look bad by saying that. The parents were so disgusted by this and they ran him out of town in an angry mob.
Melanie Flores: That was so awesome!
Nico and Melanie hugged.
Nico: I really missed you.
Melanie Flores: Me too.
Dark Vegan: I'm happy you two are back together.
Nico: You more than earned a position in our usual battles. And I have just the archenemy for you.
Dark Vegan: Who?
Nico: Luka Couffaine. Snake VS Vegetables.
Dark Vegan: Good choice.
They later went back to Earth and told us all about it and it was amazing and awesome.
After Nico's rescue, Lincoln, Me, Nico, Eli, Nicole Knudson, Lori, Leni, Luna, Luan, Lynn, Laney, Lucy, Lana, Lola, Lisa, Lily, Lincoln's harem, Maria, Carmen, TLPS Mr. Wolf, TLPS Mr. Piranha, TLPS Mr. Snake, TLPS Mr. Shark, TLPS Ms. Tarantula, and CatDog are heading to Peach Creek, and not only is Lincoln going to rescue the fifteen girls there, but Lincoln's going to challenge Rolf for the Hairy Chest of Resilience Badge and he's going to REALLY show how tough he is.
Lincoln: Wow, we're here in Peach Creek, and I know what we're going to do here, not only am I going to rescue the fifteen girls here, but I'm also going to REALLY show how tough I am when I challenge Rolf for the Hairy Chest of Resilience Badge.
Nico: That's right, big guy. This is going to be so awesome.
Me: You said it, Carmen and Eddy had gotten the Hairy Chest of Resilience Badge, and now, it's Lincoln's turn.
Carmen: And it's a good thing you also invited me, Maria, and CatDog for this one, Lincoln, you're about to go through the same trials that me and Eddy went through for this challenge.
Lincoln: I'm more than ready for it, Carmen. I'm known to be really tough, I've gotten roughed up by bullies and my own sisters, specifically Lori, Lynn, Lola, and Luan over the years, but all that's done is built up my endurance, and thanks to the constant workouts in the gym, I've been getting even more stronger.
Lily the Mermaid: And the results definitely show, Linky.
Nico: Yeah, you're 7'0" in height, and you have the abnormally massive and powerful muscular body of a God and a bodybuilder combined, and you're still getting even bigger in muscle from all of those workouts, and pushing your body to break through its limits.
Lincoln: Same with when it comes to fighting villains, Nico.
TLPS Mr. Wolf: And we also got a Gene-Slammer sighted here in Peach Creek, and for the villains, I hope it's the Kankers again.
Nico: It'll probably be the Kankers I'd let go after that little affair at Peach Creek Junior High, I did say that if I saw them causing trouble again, it's straight to the slammer.
We headed for the front of Rolf's house, and we were joined by The Eds and the Cul-De-Sac Kids, and Lincoln walked up to Rolf.
Rolf: Oho, white-haired Lincoln, what brings you to the house of The Son of a Shepherd?
Lincoln: Rolf, I'm here to challenge you for the honor of receiving the Hairy Chest of Resilience Badge.
When the Eds and the Cul-De-Sac kids heard it, they were stunned at Lincoln's bold challenge.
Eddy: (Gasps) Oh man, Double D, tell me my ears weren't lying when I heard it.
Edd: No, Eddy, they weren't, Lincoln's challenged Rolf for the Hairy Chest of Resilience Badge, the same one that you and Carmen had received during the trials.
Kevin (Ed, Edd, N Eddy): Whoa, this is going to be one awesome competition.
Jonny 2x4: Jimmy, let's get the book.
Jimmy: On it, Jonny.
Rolf had a smile on his face at the bold declaration from Lincoln.
Rolf: Ho ho, Rolf likes hearing the bold determination in your words, white-haired Lincoln. Very well, let the test begin!
The flag is raised over the construction site. But, this is not the usual Urban Rangers flag; this one is red and white and features a picture of a muscled torso. We sit on a stack of woods, ready to enjoy the show.
Jimmy: Hear ye, hear ye! You brave men are about to embark on a series of tests! [Flipping the book open] Ordained by the Grand Poobah of the International Urban Rangerhood! Make your way to the Circle of Supremacy!
As Jimmy was talking, Jonny had drawn a ring around the competitors, and Lincoln and Rolf entered the ring.
Lynn: This is going to be one epic challenge.
Nazz: Eddy and Carmen passed those trials and they got that badge, and now, it's your brother's turn.
Luan: If they were able to do it, then so can Lincoln.
We then saw Lincoln's harem dressed in Cheerleader outfits, and they were ready to cheer their man on.
Jimmy: The contenders must endure without a murmur, a mumble, or a mutter of grief in order to earn the coveted Hairy Chest of Resilience badge. The first test:
Jonny: The Wax of Wailing!
Jimmy: Assistants Lynn and Double D, liberally apply the wax to Lincoln's leg, adhere the leather strap to the wax, and await my signal.
Lynn and Edd follow the instructions, and applied the wax to Lincoln's leg, and Jonny did the same for Rolf's leg.
Jimmy: Are we ready?
He looks around, and Lincoln shoots him a thumbs-up. Jimmy blows a whistle, and Jonny rips the strap off, waxing Rolf's hairy leg which shows a lot of hair. Rolf doesn't even react, though his leg does sprout more hair, at swollen pores. The kids look at Lincoln, concerned.
Lynn: Get ready, bro.
Lynn rips the strap off, and like Rolf, Lincoln doesn't even react, but it left a bright red mark on his muscular leg. We gasped in pure shock and awe, including Rolf.
Eddy: Holy Cow, Lincoln didn't even flinch.
Rolf: Ho ho, you must be really tough as to not cry from The Wax of Wailing, impressive word, white-haired Lincoln.
Lincoln: (Smirks) Thanks, Rolf, but we're just getting started.
The massive confidence and bravery coming from Lincoln had caused the girls in his harem to get an atomic red blush on their faces. We then moved on to the next trial in Jimmy's house.
Jimmy: Gentlemen! The second test is:
Jonny: The Bumping of the Funny Bone!
Edd ties Lincoln's abnormally massive and powerful muscular left arm to the arm of a chair.
Rolf: Gather your fortitude, Ranger Jonny!
Lincoln: You too, Lynn.
[The whistle blows.]
Lynn turns the chair and slams Lincoln's elbow into a file cabinet repeatedly, but he only grimaces a bit, and on the other side of the room, Rolf undergoes the same treatment at Jonny's hands, and he also grimaces a bit.
Rolf: Don't make Rolf come up there, Wood Boy! Faster! Faster I say!
Lynn: So, that's how he wants to play it?! Lincoln, hold on!
The turning quickens. Soon enough, the match ends, and Edd rushes in with his first-aid kit. But, Lincoln was okay.
Edd: So far so good, Lincoln, you've passed two of the trials, now comes the next trial.
Lincoln: I know, Double D: it's The Bramble Bush of Bellyache! You girls better cover your eyes for this one.
The competition is now in the woods. The competitors stand in front of brambly, entwined bushes, Rolf sporting a robe, and the same goes for Lincoln.
Jimmy: For the third test, wearing only your birthday suits, you must crawl through:
Jonny: The Bramble Bush of Bellyache!
The girls in Lincoln's harem covered their eyes, and the same went for Lincoln's sisters, Maria, Carmen, and Nicole Knudson, and the boys.
Rolf: The prickly maiden of the bramble awaits!
The whistle toots, and Jimmy waves the flag. Rolf and Lincoln take off in a naked blur. Then, Lincoln and Rolf came out, and Lincoln snapped his fingers, and he had on his clothes again, and we uncover our eyes.
Rolf: Impressive work, white-haired Lincoln, that's three trials done, but the greatest test must yet be realized.
We are now gathered in the park.
Jimmy: The next test is called:
Jonny: The Pendulum of Protest!
Rolf and Lincoln are tied to the swing set. On either side of them are giant boulders.
Rolf: As it is said in your country, let her rock!
Ed starts the contraption, and it goes like clackers for a few rounds. Jimmy blows the whistle.
Jimmy: You both have done well. With this last test, we'll determine who will receive the coveted Hairy Chest of Resilience badge! Gentlemen, I give you:
Jonny: The Tour of Tears!
A banner waves over the starting line. Rolf and Lincoln are on diving boards that jut out from a cliff. Rolf and Lincoln stand tall, ready to take it on. The whistle gives a mournful toot, and Edd looks on fearfully, and Ed looks on absent-minded as Rolf and Lincoln leap off the board and grabs massive air before diving towards Earth. They fall into a water tank for a train and land in its path as it goes by. The train pushes them forward. Slowly, they slide off its front and fall under it. The train goes one way, and Lincoln and Rolf are detoured along another set of tracks when Jimmy and Jonny change the track, and they land on a couch.
Lincoln: It's not over yet, is it, Rolf?
Rolf: (Ominously) No, it has just begun.
Jonny and Jimmy untie a rope, and the sofa shoots them away like a slingshot.
Ed: Catch you later, Lincoln!
Eddy: Come on, guys, I know exactly where Rolf and Lincoln are going to land.
The competitors soar through the air, and on the ground, we hurry to the construction site.
Edd: Oh, my.
Eddy and Rolf land in the center of the circle, and the earth cracks around them. The kids cheer, but Rolf passes out one second before Lincoln, as he passes out a second later after Rolf. But, Lincoln stands up proud and tall, and everyone cheers wildly, and he receives The Hairy Chest of Resilience Badge, and he also scoops up Rolf and he carries him on his wider and more muscular back to our infirmary, and we also cheered at the sight of this act of good sportsmanship.
Eddy: Awesome work, Lincoln, you did it!
Me: Alright, way to go, big guy!
Lincoln: Did I win?
Edd: Yes, you did, Lincoln, Rolf passed out one second before you. But, you then woke back up, and you stood up from the ground, and everyone also cheered for what you did in carrying Rolf back to the infirmary to get bandaged, and he's proud of you for that.
Lori: And so are we. I thought that it would be a bonkers idea for you to literally go through with it, but you proved just how tough you were, bro.
Lincoln: Thanks, Lori, and don't worry about all the wounds I'd gotten. Watch this.
We then saw Lincoln's superhuman regeneration and healing factor kick in, along with Majin Buu's powers, and we saw all of the wounds and bruises that Lincoln had gotten all over his abnormally massive and powerful muscular body heal completely, and we were amazed.
Nico: Awesome, and it wasn't just your superhuman regeneration and healing factor, but you also have Majin Buu's powers, right, Lincoln?
Lincoln: That's right.
Suddenly, we saw Lincoln's Hairy Chest of Resilience Badge glow, and we saw a tattoo appear on his massive left muscular forearm, it was a bodybuilder with a barbell raised above his head and around him are elemental forces and an orange kanji that read, "Lincoln Landon Loud, Strongest, Bravest, Resilient, Courageous, Handsomest, and Manliest Warrior of The Loud Family" We were amazed by the tattoo.
Lincoln: Wow, this is one tattoo.
Lincoln 2: (Chuckles) Actually, Lincoln, it's more than just a tattoo, it's actually the mark of manhood, and I should know, I have the same thing as well on my left forearm.
Luna Loud: Whoa, now that's one sweet mark of manhood, dude!
Nicole Knudson: Incredible, and it also goes with your spicy tattoo on your broader and muscular left shoulder, Lincoln.
Lincoln: That's right, Nicole. Now, if I'm not mistaken, we'll soon hear the call for help, along with the familiar sound of cackling in the air.
?: HELP!
Suddenly, Lincoln heard the sound of fifteen girls calling for help, along with the sound of cackling in the air. With his deep sapphire blue cyborg eyes and superhuman sight, along with sensing energy signals, he saw and heard exactly where the call for help was coming from. He saw the fifteen girls, but they've been cornered by the Kanker Sisters that Nico had let go, and they're going to kill them.
Lincoln: I knew it, guys, I found the fifteen girls, but they've been cornered by the Kanker Sisters that Nico had let go, and they're going to kill them.
?: (Japanese Accent) Those kissy-faced banshees, let's get them.
Suddenly, we saw a Water Dragon appear before us in a stream of water.
Lincoln: That voice, I knew it was you, Laniya Momoshiki, but we'll have to talk later. Let's get those stupid Kankers!
Nico: As Lori would say, I'm literally going to turn those trailer bitches into human pretzels!
Lori: Nice one, Nico.
We rushed on over, and Lincoln fired three powerful rainbow energy balls, which hits the Kankers in their backs, and that allowed the fifteen girls to get away. When the Kankers saw us, they were mad that we were here.
Lincoln: Nico did make the right call when he let you three go, but he did give you a warning: but as always, you three were too stupid not to even care about the consequences. Well, now we're through with playing nice, now, we're sending you three straight to prison for good.
Nico: But, not before we rough you three up.
Lincoln unholstered his improved massive Sword of Universal Hope and Elemental Bravery from his wider and muscular back and he transformed into Super Angel-Ebonwu-Thunderbird Eternity Infinity Elemental Thunderbird Buffalo Angel of Universal Justice and Elemental Hope, The TLPS Bad Guys Gang transformed into their Super Angel Infinity forms, The Eds transform into their Super Angel 750,000,000,000 forms and unholster their massive swords, Lincoln's sisters transformed into their Super Angel Infinity forms and unholster their massive swords from their backs, Lincoln's harem unholstered their massive swords from their backs and transform, Maria, Carmen, and CatDog made weapons out of their respected elements, and Me, Eli, Nicole, and Nico transformed and unholstered our massive swords from our backs and we went at the Kanker Sisters, and we fired powerful blasts of rainbow energy, colored energy, elemental forces, ice, lightning, stars, rainbow flames, and rainbow crystals at them, and they exploded with incredible power as they hit them.
Lincoln fired three powerful blasts of rainbow energy, which tied The Kankers up in rainbow energy straitjackets and rainbow chains, and he beamed them to The Neptune Cryoprison, and merged them with the ones that were already there, and we cheered wildly for what we did, as we holstered our weapons on our backs and power down.
Nico: You stupid Kankers have failed this world infinite-fold!
Lincoln: That's telling them, Nico! (To Laniya Momoshiki) And it's so good to see you again, Laniya.
Laniya Momoshiki: (Japanese Accent) You too, Lincoln. it's been a long time.
They went up to each other, and they hugged, and Laniya Momoshiki was very surprised at how much stronger and at how much taller and much more muscular Lincoln's gotten since she last saw him.
Lincoln: It sure has been a long time, I haven't seen you when you were eleven, and I've grown a lot since then.
Laniya Momoshiki: (Japanese Accent) Yeah, you've really grown a lot from the eleven-year-old cute little boy into a 17-year-old 7'0" tall and very handsome teen with abnormally massive and powerful upper and lower body muscles and eight-pack abs. And I was also rooting for you during the trials for the Hairy Chest of Resilience Badge, as always, you're tough as nails, Lincoln.
Lincoln: Thanks, Laniya.
Nico: Wow, Lincoln, you know her?
Lincoln: Yes, I do, Nico, this is Laniya Momoshiki, she was born in Japan, but she was raised here in America, and she also something really surprising to tell us, it's about one nasty April Fool's Day prank war that I got into with Luan, and we really pulverized each other into pulp.
Nico: (Stunned) Whoa, that sounds brutal, I can't wait to hear about that one.
Lincoln: Trust me, it's not for the faint of heart, Nico. Right now, let's get you back to normal, Laniya, guys, cover your eyes. Hold still, Laniya, this is going to hurt.
Me, Nico, Eli, and the rest of the boys had covered our eyes as Lincoln snapped his fingers, and Laniya was reverting back to normal. Laniya Momoshiki is a beautiful 17-year-old with long ocean blue hair going down to the bottom of her neck, blue eyes, fair skin, she's 6'0" in height, she had the body of a goddess, and she also now has massive dark blue angel wings, as she reigned in the power of Water Dragon.
Lincoln: How do you feel, Laniya?
Laniya Momoshiki: (Japanese Accent) Good. (Realizes she's in her birthday suit) But, I'm also in my birthday suit.
Lincoln gave Laniya Momoshiki a new wardrobe, a sleeveless ocean blue shirt with a blue phoenix and blue skirt with the Water Dragon on it, ocean blue pants, ocean blue leather ankle-high combat boots, and a long ocean blue sleeveless trenchcoat with ocean waves and dragons on the coattails and the Water Dragon on the back, and on her back is a large Water Dragon-themed sword with a 6'5" massive, wide, double-edged, man-sized ocean blue blade with the Water etched on it, large ocean blue dragon heads with blue gems for the crossguard, large ocean blue gem for the hilt, longer ocean blue handle, and four large ocean blue dragon heads with blue gems for the eyes and four large blue gems in its mouths for the pommel.
Laniya Momoshiki: (Japanese Accent) Wow, I love the new outfit and large sword you made for me, Lincoln.
Suddenly, a Thunderbird Necklace of Eternal Love appeared on Laniya Momoshiki's neck with ocean blue gems on the gold lightning bolts and dark blue crystals links from her new Crystal Necklace of the Buddha.
Laniya Momoshiki: (Japanese Accent)(Surprised) Whoa, is this...?
Lincoln: Yep, that's a Thunderbird Necklace of Eternal Love, which means you're now part of my harem and you're one of my many future wives, Laniya.
Laniya Momoshiki had a smile on her face and tears in her eyes, as Lincoln wrapped his abnormally massive and powerful muscular arms around her waist and he leaned down and he kissed her on the lips, and she returned it, and we cheered for them. Then, we went up to the fifteen girls, and when Lincoln saw them, he immediately recognized them. The fifteen girls are Moka from Ozanari Dungeon: Kaze no Tou, Saltorine Ardalake from Peach Boy Riverside, Masaki Nonoka, Misumi Tomoe, Muroto Aki, Niimi Haruka, Sakura Mai, Sanehara Hikari, Yunoki Rina, Kitagawa Misa, Kurebayashi Katsumi, Maeda Kanon, Narita Ruu, Ootani Momoko, and Uchida Yuuko from Photokano.
Lincoln: Oh wow, it's Moka, Saltorine Ardalake, Masaki Nonoka, Misumi Tomoe, Muroto Aki, Niimi Haruka, Sakura Mai, Sanehara Hikari, Yunoki Rina, Kitagawa Misa, Kurebayashi Katsumi, Maeda Kanon, Narita Ruu, Ootani Momoko, and Uchida Yuuko.
Helena McTroy: From Ozanari Dungeon: Kaze no Tou, Peach Boy Riverside, and Photokano, awesome.
Lincoln: Are you girls okay?
Moka (Ozanari Dungeon: Kaze no Tou): Yes, we're okay, thanks to you for saving us from those banshees.
Then when Moka and the other fourteen girls saw who it was that saved them from The Kanker Sisters that Nico spared, their faces turned atomic red upon seeing the 17-year-old 7'0" tall, handsome, bare-chested hunk with abnormally massive and powerful upper and lower body muscles, eight-pack abs, long white hair going down to the bottom of his neck and rainbow lightning bolt highlights in the bangs of his long white hair, rainbow colored thunderbird with a gold lightning bolt emblazoned on his forehead, golden lightning bolt cutie mark with the thunderbird and comic books right on his massive and wide right pec and it was surrounded by the symbols of Fire, Water, Ice, Wind, Earth, Nature, Light, and Darkness in a circle, large Celtic Cross cutie mark tattoo in the form of the cutie marks of Twilight Sparkle, Sunset Shimmer, Rainbow Dash, Applejack, Rarity, Pinkie Pie, Fluttershy, Starlight Glimmer, and Trixie Lulamoon, surrounded by a circle were the marks of the other girls in Lincoln's harem on his wider and more muscular back, and right on top was the Earth surrounded by the ring of mermaids and surrounded by a Thunderbird, Phoenix, and Buffalo, and below the Cutie Mark tattoo is a deep sapphire blue kanji that said, "Lincoln Landon Loud, Champion and Emissary of Hinon, Master of Lightning Storms, The Weather, and The Thirteen Elemental Forces, The Loud House's Man With A Plan, Golden-Hearted Brother of Many Siblings, and Golden-Hearted Lover, Father of Many Kids, Son, and Future Husband, Descendant of The 17th Century Duke Lincoln of Loch Loud in Scotland, Destroyer of Morag McLaughlin, Destroyer of Evil, Black-Hearted, Sadistic, Delusional, Power-Hungry Bastards, Talented Comic Book Writer and Video Gamer, God of Truth and Justice, and Ambassador and Beacon of Hope to The Universe", he has deep sapphire blue eyes, a tattoo of a pepper with fire surrounding it and a kanji that read "Spiciest Man of The Loud House" on his broader and muscular left shoulder, and a Mark of Manhood tattoo of a bodybuilder with a barbell raised above his head and around him are elemental forces and an orange kanji that read, "Lincoln Landon Loud, Strongest, Bravest, Resilient, Courageous, Handsomest, and Manliest Warrior of The Loud Family" on his massive left muscular forearm.
He had his massive Sword of Universal Hope and Elemental Bravery holstered on his wider and muscular back, his orange Crystal Saber holstered on his left hip and his Eater of Sins revolver holstered on his right hip, the Pisces the Fish constellation and Aquarius Zodiac sign on the back of his neck and the Cygnus the Swan constellation on the back of his massive left hand, large weighted orange bands on his massive biceps and thighs with silver phoenixes on them, his large gold Cuff Bracelets of The Champions of the Universe with large orange gems on his large wrists, massive and indestructible deep sapphire blue angel wings and the stars and blue nebulae reflecting on them with rainbow tips on the large deep sapphire blue feathers, and he was dressed in an orange version of He Man 2002's loincloth with hanging silver lightning bolts and long orange trenchcoat coattails with elemental forces, Thunderbirds, Phoenixes, and Buffalo on them and with hanging mini silver lightning bolts held up by his large gold Belt of Elemental Bravery with large orange gem for the belt buckle on his waist, a pair of large blue pants with multicolored lightning bolts on the thighs with the orange kanjis "Savior of The Loud House, Powerful Student of Many Powerful Teachers, Shinobi of The Hidden Leaf Village, Member of The Crusaders of The Thunderbird, and The Unifier of The Three Kingdoms" on the left legs, and large white leather combat boots with gold lightning bolts surrounded by a circle of smaller gold lightning bolts and armor on the toe area, silver Buffalo head stud earrings with the Thunderbird and Eternity Kanji on it, a large Thunderbird Necklace of Eternal Love with colored gems on the gold lightning bolts with a large deep sapphire blue gem in the shape of a Thunderbird on top of a silver Buffalo head with the Thunderbird and Eternity Kanji on his neck and across his bare chest, large fingerless orange gloves with the symbol of The Loud House on it and surrounded in a diamond formation are a Phoenix, Thunderbird, Buffalo, and Angel, a large Orange Buffalo Animal Spirit Ring on his left ring finger, large Blue Lantern ring on his right ring finger, he had eight large orange orbs orbiting around his legs, and circling around his feet on the floor are eight golden crosses with angelic runes.
Moka (Ozanari Dungeon: Kaze no Tou): Oh wow, you're Lincoln Loud of Team Loud Phoenix Storm.
Lincoln: That's right, and it's a pleasure to meet you all.
Then, Lincoln made fourteen clones of himself, and he and the fourteen clones went up to the girls, and they picked them up and hugged them in their abnormally massive and powerful muscular arms, and kissed them on the lips, which they returned with equally intense passion, as they wrap their arms around the necks of Lincoln and his clones, and we cheered wildly at the scene.
Moka (Ozanari Dungeon: Kaze no Tou): (Seductively and rubs her right hand on Lincoln's massive and wide right pec) You too, big, tall, muscular, and handsome.
Suddenly, fifteen Thunderbird Necklaces of Eternal Love appeared around the necks of Moka (Ozanari Dungeon: Kaze no Tou), Saltorine Ardalake, Masaki Nonoka, Misumi Tomoe, Muroto Aki, Niimi Haruka, Sakura Mai, Sanehara Hikari, Yunoki Rina, Kitagawa Misa, Kurebayashi Katsumi, Maeda Kanon, Narita Ruu, Ootani Momoko, and Uchida Yuuko with colored gems and crystals on the gold lightning bolts. We returned to the Estate, we told everyone what happened and Lincoln showed everyone that he won the Hairy Chest of Resilience Badge, and they cheered for him, but during the rescue, they were shocked when they found out the villains we went after were the Kankers that Nico had spared.
But, when Lincoln showed what he did to the Kanker Sisters, they cheered wildly for Lincoln and the rest of us, and they hugged us, and the girls in Lincoln's harem then went up to Lincoln, and they kissed him all over. Lincoln and Laniya Momoshiki have a lot of catching up to do, now that she's back in town.
After Lincoln's rescue and competition in Peach Creek and throwing The Kanker Sisters in prison, we were training intensely in the gym, this time, doing 150,000,000 reps of crunches, wing push-ups and regular push-ups, pull-ups, lat pulldowns, bicep curls, leg curls, and chest presses with 9,500-lb barbells, squats, and going a few rounds with the punching bags, and we were really sweating like crazy, even doing yoga to clear our minds, and when Laniya Momoshiki saw Lincoln working out like crazy, she had an atomic red blush on her face.
Laniya Momoshiki: (Japanese Accent) Whoa, Lincoln's really grown to be a 17-year-old 7'0" tall, really big, and really strong young man, just look at those abnormally massive and powerful muscles hard at work, and to work out with those 9,500-lb barbells and not even get tired, incredible.
Lincoln: And I've also trained a lot under some very powerful teachers, J.D. and Nico included, Laniya, and now, I can also fight and defend myself.
Laniya Momoshiki: (Japanese Accent) That's incredible.
Nico: It sure is, Laniya. So, can you tell us about how Lincoln and Luan really pulverized each other into pulp during one of Luan's April Fool's Day prank wars?
Laniya Momoshiki: (Japanese Accent) Gladly. I was walking through Franklin Avenue, and then, I had heard an explosion coming from The Loud House, and I thought Lisa was at it again. But, I remember that it was April Fool's Day, and that was the dreaded day for The Louds, except for Luan. Lincoln had the rest of his sisters hiding in Lisa's bunker, and then, he told Luan that he wasn't going to deal with her April Fool's Day prank crap anymore, and he declared a prank war on her, and as the old saying goes: mess with the bull, and you get the horns, and in this case, Lincoln's the bull, and Luan was the one about to get the horns.
Then, total mayhem erupted as Lincoln and Luan pulverized each other with their crazy pranks, and all of them had suffered some nasty bruises and injuries, as they went from room to room all through The Loud House, and then, the climax came when Lincoln and Luan got into a pretty nasty physical fight, and Lincoln landed some pretty devastating punches, kicks and blows on Luan, and she also did the same to Lincoln, and it went on for 10 whole minutes without a single one of them giving up, but the fatigue did set in, as their fighting started slowing down and became sloppy, and then, they both knocked each other out. It was really bad as I called Mr. and Mrs. Loud back home, and as soon as they arrived, they saw Lincoln and Luan badly beaten up and bruised, and I told them Lincoln wasn't going to deal with Luan's crazy April Fool's Day pranks anymore, and he declared a prank war, and I then explained everything that went on in The Loud House, and when I was all finished, they were shocked to the extreme. I took Lincoln up to his room, and I decided to stay with him throughout the whole day, and I gently cuddled him, while Mr. and Mrs. Loud took that lunatic to her room.
The next day at 1:00 in the afternoon, Lincoln woke up, and he saw that I was there with him, and I explained everything that happened. When Lincoln got up, I saw all of the bruises and marks all over Lincoln's body and face. I was so horrified, I wanted to go to Luna and Luan's room and rip her a new one, but I didn't, Lincoln needed me, so I stayed and helped him get dressed. Then, when I showed them the extent of Lincoln's injuries and bruises on his body and face, Lori was so mad at Luan, she said, "When that mediocre comedian wakes up, I am literally going to turn her into a human pretzel!" They were right to be angry, Lincoln took a 20-Man Beating from that pranking lunatic, and as soon as Luan came down, they were going to really pulverize her. But, when we saw her completely tye-dyed head to toe in blue dye, we busted out laughing hysterically at Luan.
When Laniya Momoshiki was done, we were horrified.
Me: (Horrified) My God.
Nico: (Horrified) And I thought Connor was that evil of a genius when April Fool's Day arrives.
Then, when we saw the injuries on Lincoln and Luan from Laniya's phone, we winced at the sight of them. But, when we saw Luan tye-dyed in blue dye, Nico, Eli, and I busted out laughing hysterically.
Nico: (Laughing Hysterically) Oh man, you sure got her good, Lincoln, awesome.
Me: (Laughing Hysterically) Like he said, Nico, Luan messed with the bull, and she got the horns.
Eli: (Laughing Hysterically) Oh man, that was so brutal.
Lori: But, now we had a new rule: never make Lincoln mad, or else, you're getting the horns.
Laniya Momoshiki: (Japanese Accent) Luan should've learned her lesson after that, but that dark side of hers never learns, and wanted revenge.
Lincoln: But, we threw that lunatic in an indestructible diamond prison, and threw her back in her cell in The Pluto Prison, but this time, in a special room along with all the other dark sides, where no Dark Orbs, Aparoids, or Number Cards will ever free them again.
We then got a shower afterwards, and after that, Lincoln and his harem were getting ready for their date, and this time, it's at Autumn Mountain in the world of Mario. They were dressed in their regular clothes.
Lincoln: Alright, ladies, shall we?
Lily the Mermaid: Of course, Linky.
Lincoln and his harem head out of the Estate, and they arrived at Autumn Mountain in the world of Mario, and it was a beautiful forest filled with autumn-colored trees and tall, grassy fields.
Laniya Momoshiki: (Japanese Accent) Wow, what is this place, Lincoln?
Lincoln: This, Laniya, is Autumn Mountain, in the world of Mario. Mario told me about it, and it's just as he described it, and the forest is filled with autumn-colored trees and tall, grassy fields, it's so awesome.
Lily the Mermaid: It's like when Autumn arrives in Connecticut, and the leaves then turn into the very beautiful colors of red, orange, and yellow, the colors of Autumn.
Lincoln and his harem walked through Autumn Mountain, and they took pictures of the place to show us later on. Then, they had lunch underneath one of the trees, and as soon as the sun's about to set, Lincoln made clones of himself, and he and the clones went to the girls in his harem, and they picked them up in their abnormally massive and powerful muscular arms, and just as the sun turns orange, they passionately kissed and hugged.
Suddenly, they saw something happen in the skies, it was a beautiful display of cosmic rays in the skies. Suddenly, the cosmic rays then hit Lincoln, and he was exposed to massive amounts of cosmic radiation, just like me, and they saw Lincoln's rainbow energy aura with elemental forces flare up extremely, as he was gaining a very massive power and energy boost to his now infinite power, and his mind was opening up, as his superhuman intelligence increased dramatically, as he gained the secrets of the universe.
Lily the Mermaid: Linky, are you okay?
Lincoln: Actually, I'm better than okay, Lily. I feel even more stronger and powerful than ever. Wait, I've been hit by cosmic radiation, just like what happened with J.D., oh man, we've got to tell the rest of the others of what happened.
They headed back to the Estate, and we also sensed what happened.
Me: Lincoln, we just felt a massive and astronomical power boost coming from you, are you okay?
Lincoln: That's what I wanted to tell you guys, when we were about to leave, we saw the display of cosmic rays in the skies, and then, I got hit with massive amounts of cosmic radiation, and I gained a very massive power and energy boost, and now my power is now infinite, just like yours, J.D., and I also felt that my mind was opening up, as my superhuman intelligence increased dramatically, as I'd gained the secrets of the universe.
Me: That's just like what happened to me, whoa.
Nico: Incredible. But, I'm so glad you're okay, Lincoln.
Lincoln: (Smirks) Actually, I'm so much more than just okay, Nico. I feel even more stronger, smarter, and more powerful than ever, and I feel even more energetic than I've ever been in my whole life. It feels like every cell, muscle, and fiber has been supercharged infinitely, and my superhuman abilities and powers have gotten a supercharged power boost.
Lincoln then made clones of himself, and he and the clones lifted all of us up with incredible ease, and they hugged us, and we hugged them back. Then, they did the same to the girls in his harem, but they wrapped their abnormally massive and powerful muscular arms around their waist, and then, they leaned down to their faces and they kissed passionately, but became even more super-charged than ever. When Lincoln separated, the girls' atomic red blushes became even more bright red, and they had beating red hearts in their eyes, and Lincoln and his clones lifted them up bridal style in their abnormally massive and powerful muscular arms.
Laniya Momoshiki: (Japanese Accent) Whoa, now that's how a man kisses his future wives.
Lynn Sr.: Uh oh, I hope he's able to keep his hormones in check.
Me: That's right, ever since puberty hit Lincoln like an incoming freight train, his hormones have also been given a dramatic increase. But, he's definitely kept them in check.
Nico: Awesome, but he's taking his make-out sessions with his harem to a new level.
Sheila's Second Ambassador Mission was next
Sheila: Next time, Unicorn's going with me and the Lupinrangers.
Me: Good idea. You'll like where we're going to next Sheila. We're going to meet Lupin and his gang over at the ruins of Cyrille Le Paradox's estate.
Nico: Awesome! I heard that after Sly and the gang defeated Le Paradox and put him away for good, his entire mansion completely fell into disrepair and was left there to rot like an open wound. Also all of his assets were seized and he lost everything and all the priceless stolen treasure was recovered no one would ever want to go into that house ever again.
Slaigh MacCooper: (Scottish Accent) This will be most enjoyable lads.
Salim: (Arabic Accent) I may have retired from Thieving but it will always be a part of me.
Me: It sure will. And I heard that some of the treasure in the Le Paradox home has not yet been fully recovered. One treasure is still missing to this day.
Nico: Yep. (Turns a page in the newspaper) The Neptune's Heart Sapphire, the Largest Sapphire in the world. Priceless. Mysteriously disappeared from the Cairo Museum 10 years ago.
Me: Whoa! Looks like we're going to see if we can find it.
Sheila: Yep. We're off.
We were off to Paris.
We arrived and Lupin and gang saw us.
Lupin III: Hey Sheila.
Jigen: Who's this?
Sheila: Lupin, Jigen, Goemon, meet my fiancé.
Eric Loud: Sergeant Eric Loud - United States Navy Seals.
Lupin III: Awesome to meet you Eric.
Me: Also these are Sly Cooper's Ancestors.
Sly Cooper: Long story behind them but this is my entire family line.
Me: For over 12,000 years Sly's family has been stealing from Criminals ever since 10,000 B.C.
Lupin III: Wow! It's an honor to meet you all.
They were introduced.
Caveman Cooper – The first known Cooper, Bob was a cave thief from Gungathal Valley circa 10,000 BC. He stole pterodactyl eggs as food for his tribe. His major contribution was the invention of the tool that became the very first cane. His special ability was being able to climb on icy surfaces. He could not do common Cooper moves such as the Ninja Spire Jump or Rail Walk due to his enormous size.
Slytunkhamen Cooper I – Sly's ancestor from ancient Egypt circa 1350 BC, he was the father of Slytunkhamen II and the creator of the Thievius Raccoonus. His signature ability was to turn invisible to aid in stealing from corrupt pharaohs and greedy noblemen. He was the earliest ancestor known to Sly before the Cooper Gang's escapades in the Ice Age.
Slytunkhamen Cooper II – Sly's ancestor from ancient Egypt circa 1300 BC and supposed creator of the Cooper Vault. He had two canes that bore a striking resemblance to the Egyptian Khopesh, and these were hand-me-downs from his father. He was skilled at creating the traps that were used in ancient Egyptian tombs.
Salim al-Kupar of Arabia – Sly's ancestor from middle age Arabia, who was an old man by 1001 AD. Salim was said to have the stealth of forty thieves, and was also a member of an organization of master thieves called the Forty Thieves. His weapon was a curved, hooked blade sporting a scimitar-like look, but with a much thicker blade. He perfected the climbing technique by creating a move called the Climbing Cobra. He owned a magic carpet and loved to eat.
Sir Galleth Cooper of The Knights of The Cooper Order – Sly's ancestor from medieval England circa 1301 AD. He was an honorable knight and cunning thief who fought with a lance featuring a hook point. He perfected the wall hook climbing technique by creating a barrier-smashing move called the Catapult Crash.
Slaigh MacCooper – Sly's ancestor from 15th Century Scotland. The strongest of all of the Coopers, he could break any lock with a single blow using his large wood cane with a stone crook. He was the Cooper who created the wall edge move.
Rioichi Cooper – Sly's ninja ancestor from feudal Japan circa 1603 AD. He created the Ninja Spire Jump and implemented Japanese artwork of himself in his part of the vault. His weapons were two small canes; they resembled hooked sais before Thieves in Time, where they were instead bamboo canes that could connect into one longer cane. He used the Spire Jump to sneak into heavily fortified castles in Japan. He was also responsible for the creation of the Leaping Dragon technique, allowing him to jump far distances from a ninja spire point. The Leaping Dragon technique, unlike its predecessor, was not recorded in the Thievius Raccoonus. He also invented sushi, with his first serving coming from his dying best friend and fellow ninja, who was a shark.
Henriette "One-Eye" Cooper – A female ancestor of Sly and also a pirate who sailed the seas circa 1616 AD and stole from other pirates. Originally wielding a hooked dagger, she lost a hand and replaced it with a pirate hook shaped like that of the trademark Cooper cane.
"Tennessee Kid" Cooper – Sly's outlaw ancestor from the Wild Western United States circa 1884. He carried two six-shot revolvers with hooked handles before switching to a single revolver rifle with a hooked handle named "Ol' Blue" by 1884. "Tennessee Kid" also invented the Raccoon Rail Walk and Rail Slide. He used these to his advantage, due to the fact that there were many train rails all over the land. He also created the Crackshot technique exclusively for gunslinging, and it was not recorded in the Thievius Raccoonus, although Rail Walk and Rail Slide were.
Thaddeus Winslow Cooper III – A Cooper from Victorian-era London, 1839 or 1893,[note 1] who was the most "gentlemanly" thief and a master of disguise. He had a cane similar to Sly's; the only difference between the two is that Thaddeus' cane has a red ruby-like gem at the end of its hook.
Otto van Cooper – A presumably-European ancestor of Sly who was a genius mechanic and skilled fighter pilot, much like Penelope. Due to his physical ineptitude, he used his talent to pull off heists with his machines facilitating his thievery. He kept some of his technical blueprints in the Thievius Raccoonus. The propeller blades of his biplane were shaped like the trademark Cooper hook.
Connor Cooper – Sly's father, who used the same cane that now belongs to Sly. Before being killed by the Fiendish Five, he pulled heists with Jim McSweeney and Dr. M as a team, and also created a laser slide technique. He is usually seen either from the neck down or as a silhouette throughout the series. He did not write the laser slide move in the Thievius Raccoonus; rather, Sly learned the move while in the Cooper Vault.
Marie Cooper – Conner's wife. Very little is known about her, as she has no confirmed entries written in the Thievius Raccoonus and also no section in the Cooper Vault.
Jigen: Wow! It's a huge honor.
Connor: Pleasure is ours.
Lupin: Sheila, while we're heading to our destination, can you tell me what your Shredlegs transformation feels like?
Sheila: It was excruciatingly painful and it felt like I was being torn apart and then put back together in a weird way.
Me: It was crazy.
Thaddeus Winslow Cooper: (British Accent) That is most crazy chap.
Me: It was.
Lupin III: Yeah. I heard we're going to the old Le Paradox Mansion.
Me: Yep and you would not like the Le Paradox Family. They have been a rival thieving family of the Coopers for Centuries. But the Cooper Clan has always been able to leave them in the dust. They are the most unsuccessful family of thieves in the world. And the worst part is that they are the stinkiest animals on the planet. They are Anthropomorphic Skunks.
I went over their history.
Similar to their rivals, the Cooper Clan, the Le Paradoxes were a family of thieves that were multicultural and spanned across the globe. Their operations spanned from Feudal Japan to the Roman Empire.
However, unlike their rivals, the Le Paradoxes were, according to Cyrille Le Paradox, mostly unsuccessful and that the Coopers' success was the source of their misfortune. It didn't help that they weren't entirely stealthy since their stench always gave them away. It came to the point where the latest member of the family was placed in prison with a life sentence with no apparent heir.
When I was finished they were shocked.
Lupin III: That's crazy! But what's the history of Cyrille Le Paradox?
Me: You would not like him one bit and I hate him too.
I went over his history.
Cyrille Le Paradox is a former collector of rare items who worked in the trafficking of priceless stolen treasures, while also owning a museum to cover up his crimes. He planned on creating a false royal ancestry by time traveling to the past in order to become of worth in the present. He also tried to ruin the Cooper Clan by stealing their canes, thus rewriting Cooper history, but ultimately failed.
He is the main antagonist of Sly Cooper: Thieves in Time and is voiced by Nolan North.
Background
Le Paradox came from a long line of master thieves, the Le Paradox clan, similar to Sly Cooper, though his family is nowhere near as infamous as Sly's. Years prior, Conner Cooper's theft of the world's biggest diamond had made him a legendary thief. It turned out that Le Paradox's father had planned to steal it first and frame Conner Cooper, but Conner was quick enough to get it first, and Le Paradox's father got himself caught instead and earned a life sentence behind bars.
Le Paradox doing business.
Without a mentor in the family business, Le Paradox eventually got himself arrested after a string of failed jobs. Ironically, it was in prison that he got his criminal education. He got his fellow inmates to do his dirty work when he could never do, manipulating the ones he could convince and bribing the ones he couldn't. After his release, he used these new skills coupled with his prison contacts to form his own syndicate. After this, he started masterminding heists worldwide while maintaining the appearance of a law-biding citizen, becoming an art collector, while actually working in the illegal, black-market trafficking of priceless stolen treasures.
Once he rebuilt himself, Le Paradox swore that he would erase the Coopers from history all on account of his father's death-ending misfortune. He planned on doing this by stealing their canes, the signature weapon of the Cooper Clan. However, he actually hired several other criminals to steal the canes for him, rather than doing it himself. He provided his henchmen with modern-day security systems and other devices so they could effectively keep watch over the time period they were sent to.
Hiring Penelope
Along with four others, Le Paradox also recruited Penelope in his plan to destroy the Cooper line. Like Le Paradox, Penelope had a dislike for Sly which sprouted from her believing that Bentley's full potential was being blocked by Sly's morals. After she willingly joined, Le Paradox had her create a time machine based on the plans of the one that she had built with Bentley; however, Le Paradox's had one major difference: an item from the time that the user wished to travel to was not needed and the year could just be inputted in. He sent her to Medieval England and entrusted her with watching over that time period as well as stealing Sir Galleth Cooper's cane for him.
Cover blown
One night, Le Paradox met with two of his henchmen, Toothpickand Miss Decibel, and ordered both of them to keep the canes of "Tennessee Kid" Cooper and Salim al-Kupar (respectively) safe once they had stolen them. After he took them to their respective time periods, Le Paradox returned to his museum to unload some stolen treasures to display in his museum. While he was doing so, Inspector Carmelita Fox appeared. Le Paradox had his rat troopers restrain Carmelita and he sent her to Toothpick's time period, Cotton Mouth Bluff in the year 1884 AD. With Carmelita taken care of, Le Paradox had seemingly maintained his cover.
Stealing the canes
Le Paradox's first stop was to a village in Feudal Japan, the era of Rioichi Cooper. It was unknown who exactly framed Rioichi by poisoning the local Shogun's sushi, though both Le Paradox and El Jefe, a dictator who specialized in "collecting" countries, were involved.[6] However, Rioichi's cane was hidden under a rug in his Sushi Shop, leaving Le Paradox without his prize. With this, he stayed in Feudal Japan, giving El Jefe technological devices to find it and allowing him to attempt a take over of Japan. He docked his zeppelin in the local palace, which also acted as El Jefe's base. Later, when Rioichi was freed by Sly and his gang, Le Paradox's rat troopers stole Rioichi's cane after Sly defeated El Jefe in a duel. With his prize in hand and realizing he was being tailed by the other set of time travelers, he set out for his next target.
In Cotton Mouth Bluff, Toothpick was successful in stealing "Tennessee" Kid Cooper's cane, but before Le Paradox could come pick it up, Tennessee had retrieved it. Rather than go to the time period himself, Le Paradox sent several of his rat troopers instead. While Tennessee raided Toothpick's train, the troopers were able to snatch the cane and take it to Le Paradox.
Le Paradox's next cane to pick up was that of Bob Cooper. This time around, there was no interference by the owner of the cane and Le Paradox was quickly able to get it from Grizz. When Grizz was running out of paint for his artwork, which was obtained by the pterodactyl eggs he had been stealing, he requested that Le Paradox supply him with some as a return favor for him getting the cane. Le Paradox refused to help his henchman in his personal problems, and continued on with his own plans.
Penelope was able to give Sir Galleth Cooper's cane to Le Paradox before her defeat by the Cooper Gang. He now had but one cane to collect: Salim al-Kupar's. Picking up the cane was not the only business he had in Arabia, however.
Changing the present
Upon hiring Miss Decibel, Le Paradox had also assigned her with kidnapping the remaining members of the Forty Thieves and using her hypnotic powers to force them to make forged documents. These papers would proclaim that he came from a royal bloodline, and once he brought them back to the present day, he would be untouchable. In Arabia, he met with Decibel to discuss what supplies were needed to keep the thieves at work. Due to Ms. Decibel's low supply of food for the thieves, Le Paradox agreed to give her some more, but warned that she had better get the documents to him quickly. Le Paradox stayed in the time period, docking his blimp in the city's lamp shop.
After the Cooper Gang freed the thieves and infiltrated the lamp shop, Le Paradox finally revealed himself with Carmelita as his hostage. He sent his rat troopers to drop down and steal Salim's cane, the final one that he needed. He made various snide remarks during the fight between Sly and Ms. Decibel. After the fight ended, Decibel frighteningly requested that Le Paradox let her in the blimp. He mockingly rejected her and explained that he did not share the same romantic feelings that Decibel had for him, saying that he was "not into big noses and that her music [stunk] even worse than [he did]". With the forged documents, the Coopers' canes and Carmelita in hand, Le Paradox took his blimp into the sky and time traveled back to present-day Paris.
Beaten by a Cooper
Back in the present-day, Le Paradox used the documents to proclaim his supposed royal bloodline, and came into control of Paris, going so far as to have a sculpture of his head mounted on the top of the Eiffel Tower. He stashed the Cooper canes in various rooms of his blimp. Anticipating that Sly would come to rescue Carmelita, Le Paradox placed her near the loading dock as a trap. Sure enough, Sly infiltrated the blimp and while he was trying to free Carmelita, Le Paradox trapped both of them within a glass container.
Bentley and Murray recruited the other ancestors so that they could reclaim their canes. After that was done, Le Paradox explained his motives to Sly and Carmelita and also showed them the "time tunnel", which he planned to throw them into. Before he could, Tennessee shot the container and set Sly and Carmelita free. Le Paradox was enraged at Tennessee, and accidentally caused the time tunnel to malfunction and tear a hole in space-time.
Sly then engaged Le Paradox in a duel on the deteriorating blimp. During the fight, Le Paradox declared his intent was to triumph over the Coopers as the best thief in the world, believing he proved himself superior to the Cooper Clan by robbing them of their canes. Sly called him an idiot for thinking this and informed him that his egotistic actions had actually cost him everything, that by traveling back in time to rob the Cooper Clan, he also blew his own cover as an art dealer and exposed his black market operation to INTERPOL. Moreover, that Le Paradox couldn't truly take credit for the thefts because he never actually stole any of the canes himself, he just paid other people to do the jobs for him. Le Paradox pondered on Sly's words and realized he was right before continuing the fight. Soon, after losing, Le Paradox slipped and begged Sly to help him up from falling off. After Sly helped him, he tricked the Cooper and grabbed his backpack. Le Paradox then made his escape using Sly's paraglider. Just as he was gliding down, he was hit by the wing of a passing airplane. Without the paraglider, Le Paradox fell down into the waters surrounding Paris. He survived the fall and kept himself from drowning by floating on a piece of his wrecked airship. He was later brought to land, arrested by authorities. Le Paradox had all of his assets seized, including his art collection and everything was donated to the city of Paris. According to Bentley, Le Paradox was placed in a special cell in solitary confinement. His cell was later modified to be completely odor-proof, with the guards wearing anti-odor suits and gas masks. He received a life sentence for his crimes.
When I was done they were shocked even more.
Jigen: He tried to tamper with space and time and erase the Coopers!? That's insane!
Me: Yeah it sure was. But thank Goodness that Penelope wasn't swayed into his evil or Bentley would have been absolutely heartbroken. The reason he didn't erase the Coopers from history was because I got to him first and revealed everthing about him to be ONE BIG STINKING lie. I got him sent to a special cell in Solitary Confinement and had him moved up to the Uranus Prison.
Lupin III: Good riddance.
Me: Yeah.
Lupin III (to Eric) I think on the big day on April 2, you and Sheila should have your wedding. It can be used to lure our target on that day.
Eric Loud: You know that's not a bad idea.
Me: Ooh a Wedding Trap. I like it. We can get Sheila and Eric married and bust a huge bad guy all at the same time. Killing two birds with one stone.
Sly Cooper: I like it.
Otto Van Cooper: (German Accent) Ja und it would be fun to see.
Sly Cooper: We're here.
We arrived at the abandoned Le Paradox Mansion.
Me: Whoa. Looks like no one has been here for years.
Sheila: No kidding.
Me: Yeah. Better keep these just in case.
I pulled out a bunch of nose plugs.
Me: The Le Paradox Clan was a bunch of Anthropomorphic Skunks and there still might be remnants of their revolting stench in there so better to be safe than sorry.
Lupin III: Thanks J.D.
They took a noseplug.
We went in and it was a dark and creepy and totally run down place.
Me: Whoa. What a dump.
Sly Cooper: It sure is a dump.
Eric Loud: Got to admit though, Le Paradox sure had good taste.
Sheila: Yeah for a fraud.
Me: I hear ya Sheila.
Sheila: We should sell this place after we loot it.
Me: Not a bad idea. Lets get searching.
We looked around and searched all over in each room.
Lupin III: Hmm. What is here to grab?
In the study I was looking around and I was feeling the books and then I pulled one and a secret wall safe appeared.
Me: A secret wall safe.
Sly Cooper: Nice find J.D.
Me: Lets see. I learned this one from a computer game when I was a kid.
I pulled what looked like a snack.
Me: This Cheese and Safe Cracker kit will do it.
I opened it and spread cheese on the safe and stuck the 3 crackers on the door. The combination revealed itself.
Me: Left 7, Right 4 and Left 6.
I input the combination and it opened and in the safe was THE NEPTUNES HEART SAPPHIRE!
Me: AHA! At last we found it! The Neptune's Heart Sapphire.
Sly: Nice gem!
Inspector Zenigata appeared.
Inspector Zenigata: So, you want to have Sheila and Eric's wedding on the special mission here? Not a bad idea. But it's hard to think of anyone in the area that would want to crash a wedding.
Lupin III: I can think of many that would do that pops. But there are bound to be some villains that will want to show up for that.
Inspector Zenigata: That would be interesting to see.
We later went back home.
May: How'd it go?
Me: It was a successful find.
I pulled out the Neptune's Heart Sapphire!
Nico: WHOA! You found it! Where was it?
Me: It was in a secret wall safe in a bookcase in Le Paradox's old study.
Nico: Whoa! The police never even suspected of looking there. Well done guys.
Sheila: It sure was awesome. Also we have a special plan for when we go to meet Lupin on April 2nd.
Sheila told the plan to everyone.
Nico: Wow! A wedding ambush for the villain. We can meet Lupin III and have the wedding and pulverize the villain at the same time. That's a brilliant idea!
Eli: It sure is.
Rita: Wow! So you finally set a date for the wedding.
Eric Loud: I sure have Aunt Rita and it's gonna be awesome.
Me: This will be fun. And Lupin was really honored to meet all of Sly Cooper's ancestral family.
Nico: Awesome.
Later we were watching TV.
Teresa smelled something familiar.
Teresa: (groans) Poromon, are you and Poliwag drinking again?!
Poromon: It wasn't us! Honest!
Maria: Well, if it's not you two, who was it then?
Jamesdean5842: Oh god not again! It's gonna be another one of those days.
In came Sunset Shimmer and she was in a ready bra and underwear and she was REALLY DRUNK! She had a bottle of scotch in her hands!
Me: Sunset Shimmer!? YOU'RE DRUNK!? AND WHAT THE HECK HAPPENED TO YOUR CLOTHES!?
Sunset Shimmer: (Slurred Speech) Oh look who it is! Mr. I don't have time for your dumb little league games! Come here you son of a bitch!
She threw a punch at me and I dodged it and then she hugged me and cried.
Sunset Shimmer: (crying) Why do you close your eyes when we make love and urinate on the bed! (BARNEY GUMBLE BELCH!)
Barney Gumble: Welcome to the Drunk Club Sunset! (BELCH)
Sailor Venus: Sunset, you need to lie down.
Sunset Shimmer: Don't tell me what to do, you blonde haired bitch! (Hic)
Nico: Yeah I think you need to rest.
Sunset Shimmer: You are not the boss of me you dumb freak! (BARNEY GUMBLE BELCH!)
Homer: Geez how much did she drink?
Poromon came back with 3 empty bottles of Scotch.
Cybertron Crumplezone: Sunset, just calm down.
Sunset then proceeds to puke all over Pinkie Pie, Poromon, and Poliwag.
Sunset Shimmer: (VOMITS)
Me: EW!
Pinkie Pie: SUNSET!
Poliwag: EW!
Poromon: Thanks a lot!
Sunset Shimmer: Hey I already seen this movie.
Me: What movie?
Sunset Shimmer: Lets talk about other movies we've seen.
Nico: Okay?
Beachcomber: At least it wasn't Poromon and Poliwag's fault this time.
Nico: That's true.
Eli: Sunset is more drunk than when Joe was put that insane asylum and that lunatic yelled at him. I hope that doesn't happen to one of you guys.
Me: Yeah no kidding.
Then out of nowhere, Lunatic Gary appeared. He was a red haired man with jeans on and he was in a straitjacket and then he got into Joe's face.
Lunatic Gary: (INSANE SCREAMING) YOUR MOTHER'S A WHORE!
POW!
I punched him in the face.
Me: DON'T YOU DARE TALK ABOUT ANYONE'S MOTHER THAT WAY!
Then Vypra and Dark appeared and grabbed Lunatic Gary.
Vypra: Sorry guys he's our new recruit.
Dark: Oh my god is Sunset drunk!?
She was dancing around.
Sunset Shimmer: I'm Queen of The World! (Barney Gumble Belch)
Me: Yeah she is.
Poliwag: If this was payback for how me, Pinkie, and Poromon participated in Buzz's party, then mission accomplished.
Illia: Poliwag, we assure you. This wasn't payback for that.
Me: Yeah we didn't do anything.
Spotlight: Yeah.
SpongeBob: Our hands our clean!
They showed their hands and they were sparkling clean.
Patrick: Clean.
Then Duskmon, Grumblemon, Arbormon, Ranamon, Mercurymon, Blizzard, MetalSeadramon, Etemon, Bonz, Dayu and Harpymon appeared.
Harpymon: Hey guys.
Duskmon: Is Sunset drunk!?
Me: Yeah she is.
Dayu: After Sunset snaps out of her drunken state, can me, Duskmon, Grumblemon, Arbormon, Ranamon, Mercurymon, Blizzard, MetalSeadramon, Etemon, Bonz, and Harpymon go with you guys?
Nico: You sure can. We're going underwater this time in our submarine. Lets snap Sunset out of it.
We then saw that she was asleep.
Me: She fell asleep.
Eli: Lets get her dressed and get ready for our mission.
Nico: Right.
Eli used the Force and held her up and Nico and me put her clothes back on and Lincoln was gonna hold on to Sunset and look out for her.
Nico: Okay our mission is underwater but we're going to the Sassy Cat amusement park for an adventure.
Eli: Cool!
Me: Yeah!
Laney: Never been there. Looks like it's back to Endsville again.
Nico: Yep.
But, before we were about to leave for Endsville, Lincoln's deep sapphire blue eyes glowed even more, as he sensed a dark energy, and he saw a vision of an emaciated man with glowing white eyes wrapped in bandages, and a very insane grin on his face showing his decayed teeth. It was Kan-Ra, the cursed sorcerer from Ancient Babylon, and enemy of The Night Guard. The glow in Lincoln's deep sapphire blue eyes faded, but we were still stunned.
Nico: What is it, Lincoln, trouble?
Lincoln: Afraid so, Nico, and you're not going to like it. (To Maya Fallegeros) Maya, I've got some bad news: it's Kan-Ra, he's heading for us to take revenge on you for locking him away.
Maya Fallegeros: Kan-Ra, I should've known he'd return one day.
J.D. 3: I knew of Kan-Ra long ago, he was once a vizier to The Babylonian King in Ancient Babylon over 3,000 years ago, but Kan-Ra failed to assassinate the king, as he anticipated his treachery, and he cursed Kan-Ra forever with an ancient curse that condemned him to wander the Earth forever as a decaying corpse, and during that time, he gained mastery over various forms of black magicks and he sought to gain even more knowledge and power. He's incredibly dangerous beyond all reason.
We gasped in total shock.
Me: He's just like Imhotep in every way.
Pharaoh Atem: Indeed, I've heard of what Kan-Ra had done those three millennia ago, and his crimes are just as bad as Imhotep.
Eli: They sure are, Father.
Lincoln: He sure is dangerous, Pharaoh Atem, and as pointed out by J.D. 3, Kan-Ra was given powers by the very curse he was inflicted with those three millennia ago.
Maya Fallegeros: That's right, now, allow me to tell you the full story of Kan-Ra, and it does match up with what you and J.D. 3 told us, Lincoln.
Maya Fallegeros proceeded to tell all of us the full story of Kan-Ra, and as predicted, we weren't going to like it one bit.
Kan-Ra
Kan-Ra is a cursed sorcerer from Ancient Babylon and a new playable character introduced in the Season Two of Killer Instinct (2013). Condemned by the Babylonian King that he betrayed to walk the Earth as a decaying corpse, Kan-Ra seeks to undo his affliction through whatever means he can find - and is more than willing to inflict a few of his own unto others along the way. He is the nemesis of Aganos, the war-golem sent by his former sovereign to hunt him down and destroy him.
In Shadow Lords, Kan-Ra also runs the Emporium, a place where the player can purchase, sell, or craft various artifacts to help the characters progress in their quest to defeat Gargos.
Biography
Appearance
Kan-Ra has an emaciated, corpse-like appearance due to the powerful curse that was placed on him thousands of years ago. He is covered in tattered, linen bandages akin to those of a mummy, and is wearing ornaments, items, and jewelry which are a mesh of Babylonian, Assyrian, Achaemenid, and Egyptian craftsmanship, reflecting his ancient origins in Mesopotamia. Kan-Ra's skin has wasted away to a dark, gray-ish brown coloration and his teeth have largely decayed. A thin layer of gray hair still remains visible along his jawline and the back of his head. He keeps a large knife along with various arcane items under a sash on his side. His eyes glow bright white, making it seem as though he has neither pupils or irises.
Kan-Ra's retro costume appears fully covered with bandages from head to toe, more closely resembling a mummy than before. His face is much more decayed, including his lips, which shows off his decayed teeth. He also only has a single red eye, the other being a blank black socket.
Personality
Kan-Ra is an ancient and megalomaniacal individual who lost his humanity long ago in endless pursuit of greater power. He's always willing to act in an underhanded fashion if this means he can gain the upper hand, such as when he sought to assassinate his own king while attempting to frame his co-conspirator for the murder, and he never hesitates to manipulate others to his advantage. In spite of his genius and deviousness, however, Kan-Ra's egomaniacal pride and lust for power trouble his otherwise keen judgment, often leading him to make myopic decisions.
For example, he's the one responsible for bringing Gargos back to Earth after he opened up a dimensional portal to the Astral Plane while searching for a god-like power. He's also the one who reanimated Eyedol in a desperate attempt to even the playing field with Gargos, though the mighty demon lord swiftly broke free of his necromantic control, and set off on his own. Kan-Ra appears to be seeking redemption for these somewhat serious mistakes by working together with the Alliance, supplying other characters with access to the potent magical artifacts in his emporium in Egypt during the events of Shadow Lords. Whether this recent shift in Kan-Ra's behavior is sincere or is being fueled by hidden and far less noble intentions, however, remains an open question.
Abilities
Kan-Ra is a mighty but maddened archmage who hails from the ancient empires of Mesopotamia. He is proficient in dangerous black magics, the knowledge of which he has steadily been accumulating over the countless centuries of his cursed existence. Kan-Ra can use his linen bandages as whip-like appendages or traps by invoking his powers of telekinesis, manipulate desert sands and sirocco winds from afar, and control powerful bursts of shadow energies. Most importantly, his dark sorcery enables him to proclaim curses, afflicting his victims with various maledictions that slow their movement and sap their life's energies. In Rivals Mode, he also had a device known as the Siphon, which he used to drain his opponents of their essence after defeating them, which he later used to open a portal to the Astral Plane-unknowingly allowing the forces of Gargos to enter the Earth.
Killer Instinct (2013)
Story
Cursed to rot after a failed assassination attempt on his sovereign over 2000 years ago, Kan-Ra endured for centuries by constantly balancing the curses he places on himself with the boons provided by dark magic and artifacts. His solitary goal: to gain knowledge that will grant him absolute power over all of mankind. After getting imprisoned by Maya's order hundreds of years earlier, an Ultratech attack on Maya's city accidentally frees Kan-Ra — releasing him back onto an unsuspecting world that's full of new mysteries and ripe for his... dissection.
He has been hunted by the war-golem Aganos for hundreds of years, a construct tasked with his destruction. The two have clashed on several occasions, but neither have had any truly decisive victories over the other.
When Maya Fallegeros was done, all of us were horrified by Kan-Ra's insane actions.
Nico: He really is just as bad as Imhotep, Kan-Ra has to be destroyed once and for all.
Maya Fallegeros: We knew that Kan-Ra couldn't be destroyed, so we had him locked away forever. But, thanks to Ultratech, Kan-Ra was freed from his prison.
Lincoln: But, we have the means of dealing with Kan-Ra for good.
Guan Yinping: And I also intend to deal with him for good, Maya, and Lincoln's also going to help me with taking him down.
Lincoln: That's right, Yinping. We're going to make sure Kan-Ra never returns to torment anyone else ever again. This time, he's getting The Black Gates.
Nico: Alright, hey, if you could, do you think it'll also work on Imhotep, who's still imprisoned in The Book of Vile Darkness?
Lincoln: Hmm, we'll have to see if it'll also affect those still in The Book of Vile Darkness, we know The Black Gates have also affected those still in Oblivion, so I'll try it out.
Nico: Alright, everyone, let's get going.
We then head for Endsville, and we're also on the alert for Kan-Ra, who's coming to take revenge on Maya Fallegeros for The Night Guard imprisoning him in their vault for all time.
We were at Sassy Cat Amusement Park.
Nico: Wow it sure looks like a cute place.
Kasumi: Like a Hello Kitty Amusement Park.
May: That is a cute park.
Ed: My mom says not to pick my belly button.
Eddy: Shut up Ed.
Sunset Shimmer: (Groans) Guys, what happened? (gets a headache) Damn, it feels like my head's about to pop!
Zillus Zox: What's the last thing you remember?
Sunset Shimmer: I went into the fridge to get a soda and then I saw the scotch and drank it and then everything went crazy.
Me: You drank 3 bottles of scotch Sunset.
Laney: You should have seen yourself. You were really crazy.
Sunset Shimmer: I'm really sorry, guys.
Bonz: At least you didn't do any serious damage.
Nico: Yeah but you were funny Sunset.
Lana: I thought so too.
Sunset Shimmer: Yeah but it was still crazy.
Princess Celestia: You'll be all right Sunset.
Barney Gumble: Yeah look at me. I drink and I do crazy stuff all the time. (BELCH)
Tso Lan: Nico, which Gene Slammer do you think you'll meet on your next rescue?
Nico: Well Tso Lan I'm hoping for a Splixson Gene-Slammer next.
Ben: Ditto's kind. Awesome.
Me: That would be amazing to see.
Sunset Shimmer: Yeah. (Groans) Lana can I have a block of ice for my head?
Lana: Sure Sunset.
Lana made Sunset a block of ice for her hurting head.
Pinkie Pie: At least you'll be okay Sunset.
Sunset Shimmer: Pinkie I'm sorry I threw up on you. I was really drunk.
Pinkie Pie: Aw it's all right.
Me: But at least you drunk yourself out! (LAUGHS TO RIMSHOT)
We laughed.
Luan: (Laughs) Good one J.D.!
Nanette was looking at Ed with hearts popping up out of her head.
Duskmon: Nanette, why are you looking at Ed Grant funny?
Nanette: He's so cute.
Duskmon: Ah I see. You have a little cwushy wushy on him.
Nanette: Yeah.
Leslie: Ed, why are you blushing while looking at Nanette?
Ed Grant: I have a crush on her.
Leslie: Aw you just want to tell her how you feel.
Agony: Buy you are nervous right?
Ed Grant: Yeah.
Leslie: Aww.
MetalSeadramon: Me and Ranamon are actually perfect for this mission.
Nico: Glad you think so MetalSeadramon. Because we're going to an underwater city of merpeople. Here's our target.
Nico pulled out a wanted poster of UVULA THE SEA HAG!
Varie: Uvula the Sea Hag! I had a feeling.
Eli: Something is telling me you two have a really bad history Varie.
Varie: You have no idea Eli.
Billy: Who's Yulala the Tea Bag?
Varie: Uvula the Sea Hag is the meanest, vilest, ugliest, stankiest, crankiest, won't-even-say-hi-to-your-mamma, cheapest, creepiest, nastiest most arrogant sea witch in all of the seas.
Nico: Whoa! She must be one nasty freak!
Varie: Yep. And she is the evil sister of my friend Hariel. She is one of my most evil enemies.
Nico: Looks like I picked the right mission for you Varie.
Sunset Shimmer: I'm so sorry, Lincoln!
Dirge: Sunset, you're not in trouble.
Lincoln: She's still upset about being drunk.
Dirge: Oh.
Lincoln: Sunset you'll be all right.
Sunset: I'm supposed to be mature by now! And yet, I got fucking drunk!
Grumblemon: Oh, come on! It's not your fault!
Nico: Yeah Sunset you said so yourself. You wanted to see what it's like to be drunk.
Sunset Shimmer: Yeah but I WAS SO STUPID!
Twilight Sparkle: Oh Sunset it's not your fault.
Nico: Sunset don't blame yourself. Look at Homer and Barney. They get drunk and it's really funny. Peter Griffin got drunk a lot and he can just eat shit out of my butt for all I care. He was just a testicle-chinned freak.
Poromon: Me and Poliwag get drunk just because it's funny.
Mr. Boss. Is that why you bring beer bottles on special missions?
Poromon: Yep.
Nico: Oh. That makes sense.
Sunset was crying hard and Lincoln was comforting her.
Lincoln: There there Sunset.
Sunset cried hard.
Lincoln: It's all right Sunset.
She cried for 10 minutes.
William: Do you feel better now?
Sunset Shimmer: (Sniffles) Yeah I'm okay. Thanks guys. Uh oh.
She then went to a trash can and hurled her guts out!
Mandy: (pats Sunset's back) Let it all out.
Sunset Shimmer: (VOMITS)
Nico: That's what happens when you drink 4 bottles of scotch.
Sunset Shimmer: (VOMITS) (Groans) I think that's all of it.
Nico: Yuck. But you got to eat something.
Sunset Shimmer: Good idea. I'm starving.
Nico: Luckily I learned some awesome new moves. Meat coming at you.
Nico fired waves of sausages and Sunset ate them and they were awesome.
Sunset Shimmer: (With her mouth full) Whoa! Nico I had no idea you can do that!
Ranamon: Nico how did y'all do that sugah!?
Nico: My rescue gave me new moves involving meat.
Ranamon: Me and MetalSeadramon will follow you guys in the water.
Nico: Okay. Lets deploy the sub.
We got our sub ready and we went through a portal and then we were in the ocean.
Nico: Helmsman set course for the Gogan Kingdom.
Jared: Aye aye captain.
We were off.
Nico: This is gonna be good.
Varie: Yep. Get ready Uvula. You and I have an old score to settle.
Metal Man: Should we meet up with Hariel first?
Varie: Leave that to me. I know how to contact her.
Me: How Varie?
Varie: Watch this.
Varie then used a powerful aquatic voice and it had a divine song in it and it was amazing.
Me: Whoa.
Eli: Incredible.
Miles away in front of the castle of the Gogan Kingdom and hiding behind a rock was Hariel.
She heard Varie's divine song.
Hariel: Varie is here!
She followed the song of Varie and she swam fast and saw our submarine.
My Mermaid sense went off.
Me: Here she is.
We saw that she was a blond hair mermaid with blue eyes.
Nico: Whoa!
Varie: Hariel!
Nico: Open the moon pool door.
Jared: Aye sir!
Jared did so and the sub opened its moon pool door and Hariel jumped in and Varie formed a ball of water for her.
Hariel: Varie!
Varie: Hariel!
They hugged.
Blizzard: You must be Hariel.
Hariel: I sure am and it's an honor to meet the famous Team Loud Phoenix Storm.
Billy: Hariel!
Hariel: Billy!
They hugged too.
Hariel: I knew you would be back Billy.
Billy: We came to help you deal with Yupula the sea bag.
Hariel: Thanks Billy.
Me: Also Varie is my fiancé. One of them.
Hariel: That is so awesome J.D. I'm happy for you.
Me: I am too.
Rage Mage: Wait. I think you're similar to Ariel.
Ariel: I was just about to say that.
Hariel: Well yeah I sure am like her.
Ariel: That is so cool.
Nico: Let me guess, your father is like King Triton and is an absolute tyrant over you.
Hariel: That's right.
Nico: And this had a different outcome when Billy, Mandy and Grim met you for the first time.
Hariel: That's right again.
Me: Mandy can you tell us what happened the first time?
Mandy: I sure can.
Mandy told us about what happened.
Another trip to Sassy Cat Land ends with a bad ride that would bore you to death. The children wish that they could go on a real sea trip down under the ocean. Grim grants that wish and the sea trip begins, but ends with them about to get eaten by sea creatures. But the mermaid princess stops her father, and exclaims that she wants to marry Billy. The dad, is not happy and orders the creatures to light a bigger fire, but she shouts "NO, DADDY!" in which he replies with "I'M NOT YOUR DADDY!" and he rips off his body and reveals Hariel's elder sister Uvula who wants to marry Billy, which then ends up as a cat fight under the sea, Billy's has two fine ladies fighting over him. Until Billy breaks it up and says that he'll marry both of them.
As Billy finishes his story, his teacher shouts at him for making up stories when she clearly asked him what happened to his report. Looks like Billy's gonna suffer with detention!
We were shocked!
Nico: Man that's crazy!
Eli: Yeah no kidding.
Mercurymon: That would make Uvula similar to Ursula.
Me: More like a funny comical version of her. She would make a great member of the M.O.E. if she wasn't so intent on sacrificing Billy.
Varie: No kidding.
Hariel: That's true.
Me: Yep.
Drill Bit: How much farther until we get there?
Varie: Not far.
Lisa Loud: Radar is picking up massive sonar signal 50 kilometers west.
Varie: That's it.
Nico: Looks like we're going in the water for an entrance.
Harpymon: Normally, I'd fly over there. But I don't think I can fly underwater.
Nico: Don't worry Harpymon. I'll use my powers to make you completely waterproof.
Harpymon: Thanks Nico.
Nico snapped his fingers and made her waterproof and we dove into the water and we got to swimming.
Nico: Now this is gonna be fun.
Aquaman: I'm looking forward to this.
Aqua: Me too.
Retrax: Time for our entrance!
Nico: Lets do it!
We swam.
In the castle "King Triceps" who is actually Uvula the Sea Hag in disguise was really getting impatient.
Suddenly the spirits of the Megaforce Rangers and Digimon were orbiting around her and then they converged and then a massive tsunami of water smashed her down and revealed UVULA THE SEA HAG and then mermaid singing was heard and we came out!
Nico: Game's over Uvula!
Varie: Hello Uvula. Been a long time.
Uvula: You have a lot of nerve showing up here Varie.
Varie: Good thing I'm a slow learner you bad haired freak of nature!
Uvula did not like being insulted like that!
Arbormon: Roundhouse Punt!
He smashed a powerful kick into Uvula and smashed her into the wall.
Varie: You usurped the throne from Hariel for far too many times. Now I'm going to make sure you suffer the consequences.
Uvula: You would never kill me!
Varie: I have killed many bad guys before and I'm not afraid to do so to you.
Nico: That's right.
Varie: Now we have a lot of catching up to do Uvula. But I should tell you that I'm not the same as I was when we faced each other last. I've changed in a completely different light.
Uvula: Oh yeah? How so?
Varie: You're going to see right now.
Varie then transformed!
(IMPERATRIX MUNDI PLAYS AT 1:45 TO 2:14)
ヴァリエ・ナドソン、ジェームズ・ディーン・ナドソンの愛する未来の妻、ネプチューン・クルセイダーズのリーダー、ポセイドンのトライデントの使い手、アトランティスのアドナの娘、一ノ瀬玉夫の妹、悪の殺し屋、狂った、殺人、冷酷、そしてサディスティックな野郎、破壊者伝説のダークサイドのマーメイド、多くの子供たちの愛情深い母親、大声で家族と非常に多くの愛情のある友人と姉妹、多くの強力な教師の学生、チームラウドフェニックスストームの素晴らしいヒーラー、そして水のマスター、マーメイド、と海の動物
Varie has transformed into her SUPER ANGEL ETERNITY INFINITY OCEANIC MAELSTROM MERMAID SEA ANGEL OF NEPTUNE'S JUSTICE AND OCEANIC HOPE form!
Uvula was shocked!
Varie: (Divine Echoing Cosmic Voice of Oceanic Justice and Neptune Hope) Now it's time for me to unleash the pain onto you Uvula. And the red hair you have is a really bad style. Get a dye job.
Uvula: (GROWLS IN RAGE) YOU JUST CROSSED THE LINE BIG TIME!
She charged and Varie kicked her in the face and smashed her into the throne!
Nico: AWESOME!
Dr. Viktor, Demyx, Heatwave, Dai Gui, Vulture, Nosferata, Flareizamon, Lucemon, Minotarumon, Mandark, Mumbo Jumbo, Knightbrace, Fixer, Electrocutioner, Spymaster and Griffin then appeared.
Nico: Dr. Viktor, Demyx, Heatwave, Dai Gui, Vulture, Nosferata, Flareizamon, Lucemon, Minotarumon, Mandark, Mumbo Jumbo, Knightbrace, Fixer, Electrocutioner, Spymaster and Griffin.
Dr. Viktor: You guys weren't kidding. Hariel does look like Ariel.
Heatwave: And Uvula does look like Ursula.
Dai Gui: The similarities are very funny.
Vulture: (to Nico) We heard you fought Darth Vegan.
Nico: Yep I sure did.
Electrocutioner: He'll be a nice little addition.
Nico: Thanks. It'll be awesome to have him with you all.
Then Aquafiend appeared.
Nico: Aquafiend. I see you're back for another round with Marina.
Aquafiend: Yep. This will be fun.
Nico: Awesome. As you can see Varie is settling some unfinished business with Uvula.
Aquafiend: No kidding. Wow. Personal vendetta?
Nico: You could say that.
Aquafiend: It's actually fitting that we'd have our battle here.
Marina: It sure will be fun and I love the water.
Me: Awesome.
We got the usual battles underway.
Will Vandom, Twilight Sparkle, Starshine Sparkle, Sunny Starscout, Magic Skylanders, Emerald Sustrai and Illia VS Dr. Viktor - Nico's rescue
Dr. Viktor was first.
Dr. Viktor: (to Will) It's impressive that Nico battled Dark Vegan in his rescue. And he recruited him for us.
Will: It sure is amazing and that was so awesome.
Twilight Sparkle: It sure was and Nico now has the power to use meat as a great power of good.
Starshine Sparkle: That was so awesome.
Sunny Starscout: I think it's really cool.
Spyro: It sure is and that power is making me hungry just thinking about it.
Dr. Viktor: I don't blame you one bit. Lets do it!
They fired waves of lightning and magic and smashed him down.
Will: OH YEAH!
Twilight Sparkle: That was amazing!
Irma Lair, Trixie Lulamoon, Triple Berry, Starlight Glimmer, Commander Mars and Commander Jupiter VS Demyx - Meat Jedi
Demyx was next
Demyx: That is so cool that there are meat master versions of the Jedi. I didn't know that was even possible.
Irma Lair: That is really amazing and cool and it makes me hungry every time.
Trixie Lulamoon: After this is done The Great and Powerful Trixie could use a good snack.
Triple Berry: Boy me too. I could go for some awesome barbecued sausages.
Starlight Glimmer: I'm Hungry for anything.
Demyx: Boy I don't blame you guys. Nico and Johnny's awesome new powers do make people hungry and they are perfect for getting meat. Lets do it!
They fired waves of water and magic and smashed him down.
Irma Lair: That was so awesome!
Trixie Lulamoon: A grand victory for The Great and Powerful Trixie!
Taranee, Sunset Shimmer, Pipsqueak, Fire Skylanders, Red Lantern Ratchet and Zilius Zox VS Heatwave (DC) - Lincoln's rescue
Heat Wave: (to Taranee) I heard Lincoln challenged Rolf for the Hairy Chest of Resilience Badge. How'd that go?
Taranee: He passed the test with flying colors and he really showed that he was much tougher than Rolf and man WAS HE TOUGH!
Sunset Shimmer: Lincoln dominated the whole contest.
Heatwave: Whoa! Remind me again. What tests are part of the Hairy Chest of Resilience Badge?
Pipsqueak: (British Accent) It was REALLY brutal.
He went over what Eddy and Rolf went through.
The first challenge: The Wax of Wailing. Simply put, both Rolf and Eddy will have one of their legs waxed, and neither can utter a peep. Rolf has his hair ripped off of his leg, and the burned-out pores swell up, but Rolf doesn't utter a word. When Eddy gets hit with the wax, he likewise remains silent, but his leg swells up like a balloon and tears well up in his eyes. This is bad news, as he still has to go through the rest of the challenges if he wants to win the "Hairy Chest of Resilience Badge."
The next challenge that the competitors will face is the "Bumping of the Funny Bone." This involves the slamming of both parties' elbows into a file cabinet. As in the challenge before, neither of them can express pain vocally. Rolf and Eddy both take the challenge well, but Rolf is the first to have a problem. His problem, however, is that Jonny isn't ramming it hard enough. At his behest, Jonny speeds up. When the whistle finally blows on the challenge, Eddy is bent out of shape, while Rolf is as good as new. Once again, Edd begs Eddy to give in, but Eddy refuses, as now it's a matter of pride.
The third challenge is the "Bramble Bush of Bellyache," wherein the two parties must crawl butt-naked through a brambly bush. Both Rolf and Eddy survive this, and much to Edd's dismay, the competition moves on to the "Pendulum of Protest". This essentially has the competitors in a set of giant clackers, where they will be smashed back and forth by giant boulders. Both survive this, however, so they must move on to the last trial: The Tour of Tears.
The good news is that this is the final test they'll have to survive. The bad news is that this one is the most daunting and deadly. It starts with the two diving off of diving boards placed on a cliff. They dive into a water tank for a train, which spits them out just as the Urban Rangers Train comes along and smashes into them. Eventually, they slide under the train and go down the tracks, landing on a sofa. This sofa is really a giant slingshot, and both Eddy and Rolf go flying, coming down in the middle of the circle that was drawn in the construction site to start the battle. Both of the duelists fall unconscious.
Heatwave: (WINCES) OUCH! That ALL must've hurt REALLY BAD!
Sunburn: It REALLY hurt and in the end, Lincoln got the badge and Rolf well he already won the badge the first time. Now the Urban Rangers have 3 people that have the badge: Carmen, Rolf and now Lincoln.
Heatwave: Wow! The H.C.O.R. Trifecta. That's perfect name for them.
Sunset Shimmer: That sure is a great name!
Heatwave: At first I thought those were challenges of torture but now I see they are challenges to show how tough you are but congratulations to Lincoln, Carmen and Rolf for receiving tthe Hairy Chest of Resilience Badge.
Sunset Shimmer: We'll tell that to them.
Heatwave: Good. Lets do it!
They fired waves of fire and smashed him down.
Taranee: ALL RIGHT!
Sunset Shimmer: That was amazing!
Cornelia Hale, Applejack, Apple Bloom, Earth Skylanders, Tso Lan the Demon Sorcerer of The Moon and Juandissimo Magnifico VS Dai Gui the Demon Sorcerer of Earth - Meeting a Water Dragon Gene-Slammer
Dai Gui the Demon Sorcerer of Earth was next.
Dai Gui: (to Cornelia) I heard you guys met a Water Dragon Gene-Slammer. What's her name?
Cornelia Hale: Her name is Laniya Momoshiki and she is another one of Lincoln's awesome Guardian Angels.
Applejack: She sure is. One time Lincoln and Luan really roughed each other up during one of Luan's Prank Nightmares.
Apple Bloom: You should have seen what happened. But this story is very brutal. Laniya was walking through Franklin Avenue, and then, she had heard an explosion coming from The Loud House, and she thought Lisa was at it again. But, she then remembered that it was April Fool's Day, and that was the dreaded day for The Louds, except for Luan. Lincoln had the rest of his sisters hiding in Lisa's bunker, and then, he told Luan that he wasn't going to deal with her April Fool's Day prank crap anymore, and he declared a prank war on her, and as the old saying goes: mess with the bull, and you get the horns, and in this case, Lincoln's the bull, and Luan was the one about to get the horns. Then, total mayhem erupted as Lincoln and Luan pulverized each other with their crazy pranks, and all of them had suffered some nasty bruises and injuries, as they went from room to room all through The Loud House, and then, the climax came when Lincoln and Luan got into a pretty nasty physical fight, and Lincoln landed some pretty devastating punches, kicks and blows on Luan, and she also did the same to Lincoln, and it went on for 10 whole minutes without a single one of them giving up, but the fatigue did set in, as their fighting started slowing down and became sloppy, and then, they both knocked each other out. It was really bad as Laniya called Mr. and Mrs. Loud back home, and as soon as they arrived, they saw Lincoln and Luan badly beaten up and bruised, and she told them Lincoln wasn't going to deal with Luan's crazy April Fool's Day pranks anymore, and he declared a prank war, and Laniya then explained everything that went on in The Loud House, and when she was all finished, they were shocked to the extreme. Laniya took Lincoln up to his room, and she decided to stay with him throughout the whole day, and she gently cuddled him, while Mr. and Mrs. Loud took that lunatic Luan to her room. The next day at 1:00 in the afternoon, Lincoln woke up, and he saw that Laniya was there with him, and she explained everything that happened. When Lincoln got up, she saw all of the bruises and marks all over Lincoln's body and face. Laniya was so horrified, she wanted to go to Luna and Luan's room and rip her a new one, but she didn't, Lincoln needed her, so she stayed and helped him get dressed. Then, when she showed his sisters the extent of Lincoln's injuries and bruises on his body and face, Lori was so mad at Luan, she said, "When that mediocre comedian wakes up, I am literally going to turn her into a human pretzel!" They were right to be angry, Lincoln took a 20-Man Beating from that pranking lunatic, and as soon as Luan came down, they were going to really pulverize her. But, when they all saw her completely tye-dyed head to toe in blue dye, everyone busted out laughing hysterically at Luan.
Dai Gui was shocked!
Dai Gui: Holy Crystal Wars! That was terrible!
Flashwing: Yeah we couldn't believe what had happened! Lincoln really went through the Gates of Hell for that one. But he came back victorious!
Dai Gui: Wow! Lincoln is really tough to face a maniacal prankster like Luan. Lets do it!
They fired waves of Earth, Apples and crystal and rock and smashed him down.
Cornelia: ALL RIGHT!
Applejack: YEEHAW! That was great!
Hay Lin, Rainbow Dash, Scootaloo, Air Skylanders, Agony and Calypso VS Vulture - Sunset Shimmer getting Drunk
Vulture was next.
Vulture: (to Hay Lin) I can't believe Sunset Shimmer got drunk. Good thing it wasn't Poliwag and Poromon, huh?
Hay Lin: That is true and Sunset was really drunk and Lady Tsunade acted all crazy like that when she got drunk.
Rainbow Dash: But not in a funny way.
Scootaloo: Yeah that was hilariously funny.
Whirlwind: It sure was.
Vulture: No kidding. Lets do it!
They fired waves of wind, rainbows and lightning and smashed him down.
Hay Lin: That was worthy of wind!
Rainbow Dash: That was AWESOME!
Cassidy (W.I.T.C.H.), Maria, Gi and RD Girl Jordan VS Nosferata
Nosferata was next.
Nosferata: Strange that we're having our battle underwater huh?
Cassidy: It sure is but I think it's really awesome.
Nosferata: But I like it. Also it's crazy Sunset got drunk like that.
Cassidy: It sure is. But the way she was acting was really funny.
Maria: It was funny and crazy.
Gi: It sure was funny.
Nosferata: Yeah.
They fired waves of water and smashed her down.
Halinor (W.I.T.C.H.), Sam S.L., and Wheeler VS Flarerizamon
Flarerizamon was next.
Halinor: I hope you don't get extinguished down here.
Flarerizamon: Don't worry. Vypra made sure that wouldn't happen. She used her magic to make my fire inextinguishable even underwater.
Halinor: That's a relief.
Flareriza: It sure is. Also that's crazy how Carmen, Rolf and Lincoln went through all that with the trials for the Hairy Chest of Resilience Badge.
Halinor: You're not kidding there! That was horrible.
Sam S.L.: Yeah it was horrible and awesome.
Wheeler: No kidding.
Flarerizamon: That's nuts.
They fired waves of fire and smashed him down.
Yan Lin (W.I.T.C.H.), RD Lori and Linka (Captain Planet) VS Lucemon (Fusion)
Lucemon (Fusion) was next.
Lucemon: Sorry we can't fly underwater.
Yan Lin: That's all right. But I love being underwater.
Lucemon: I do too. Nico's rescue was very similar to Star Wars.
Yan Lin: It sure was! I think it's really amazing that there is a Star Wars style battle with Meat and Vegetables.
RD Lori: That is really cool!
Linka (CP): (Russian Accent) That is amazing.
Lucemon: It sure is.
They fired waves of wind and smashed him down.
Kadma (W.I.T.C.H.), RD Lynn and Kwame VS Minotarumon
Minotarumon was next.
Minotarumon: Strange for me to fight underwater.
Kadma: Yeah it sure is really unusual to be down here for our battle.
Minotarumon: I like it though. Luan and Lincoln really duked it out didn't they?
Kadma: They sure did and it's a miracle they both weren't killed.
RD Lynn: Boy no kidding and before me and my family became the Royal Defenders we went through the same ordeals.
Minotarumon: Whoa! Deja-vu. That is very coincidental.
Kwame: It sure is crazy.
Minotarumon: No kidding.
They fired waves of earth and energy and smashed him down.
Nerissa (W.I.T.C.H.), Olga Astronomonov is an Orishan Gene-Slammer, RD Lincoln and Ma-Ti VS Mandark
Mandark was next.
Mandark: This is a most strange battle to have for us underwater.
Nerissa: It sure is. And I like it.
Mandark: It sure is relaxing. Also Olga I couldn't help but notice that we have the same last name and you have the same first name as my sister.
Olga Astronomonov: That is strange isn't it. Even though we aren't related by blood and we do share the same names that is very coincidental that we have them.
Mandark: It sure is very coincidental.
RD Lincoln: It sure is. And Mandark was born on the village of Flowertopia and that was amazing.
Ma-Ti: It sure is.
Mandark: Yes it sure is. Flowertopia is a beautiful place.
Nerissa: We'll have to see it for ourselves later on.
They fired waves of lightning and energy and water and smashed him down.
Emerald Goldenbraid, Pinkie Pie, Featherweight, Tech Skylanders, Dirge and Ramjet VS Electrocutioner - Varie and Uvula being dangerous enemies
Electrocutioner was next.
Electrocutioner: (to Emerald) I didn't know that Varie and Uvula were dangerous enemies. Almost like Triton and Ursula before.
Emerald Goldenbraid: No kidding! That is crazy! And Varie and Uvula have a really nasty score to settle.
Pinkie Pie: But Varie is going to make sure that monster pays.
Featherweight: Big time! That will be a big fight.
They saw Varie and Uvula brutally fighting.
Sprocket: Wow look at them go!
Electrocutioner: Brutal. Lets do it!
They fired waves of lightning, metal and energy and smashed him down.
Emerald Goldenbraid: That was fun!
Pinkie Pie: BEST USUAL BATTLE EVER!
Zarya Moonwolf, J.D. Knudson as Wolf Moon, Fluttershy, Tornado Bolt, Life Skylanders, Mr. Boss and Stickybeard VS Knightbrace - Billy and Hariel knowing everyone
Knightbrace was next.
Knightbrace: (to Zarya) It's nice that Billy and Hariel know everyone. As well as each other.
Zarya Moonwolf: It sure is nice. I think it's awesome too.
Me: It sure is. Boy everyone in Billy's school is gonna be amazed and floored too.
Fluttershy: I think it's such a loving and budding romance.
Tornado Boly: I agree with that too.
Stealth Elf: I think it's awesome.
Knightbrace: It sure is. Lets do it!
Me: KIBAL LETS HOWL! (HOWLS)
(THE WOLF AND THE MOON BY BRUNUHVILLE PLAYS)
I turned into Wolf Moon!
We fired waves of blue fire, leaves, flowers and grass and smashed him down.
Zarya: That was amazing! (HOWLS)
Me: YEAH! (HOWLS)
Fluttershy: That was fun.
Piper Willowbrook, Starlight Glimmer, Cozy Glow, Undead Skylanders, Metal Man and Ice Man (Megaman) VS Fixer - Ms. Butterbean is gonna be floored when she hears everything about Billy and Hariel being married
Fixer was next.
Fixer: (to Piper) Ms. Butterbean's gonna be floored when she hears everything about Billy and Hariel being married. (laughs) She's gonna be sorry she didn't believe him!
Piper Willowbrook: Yeah no kidding and they thought it was a product of Billy's Imagination.
Starlight Glimmer: Yeah that was crazy.
Cozy Glow: No kidding. But I can't believe that Uvula is that evil in a comical and silly way.
Hex: Yeah no kidding.
Fixer: Maybe we can put her in our prison after she is defeated.
Piper Willowbrook: That's a good idea.
Fixer: Good. Lets do it!
They fired waves of fire, magic, stars, bones and energy and smashed him down.
Piper Willowbrook: OH YEAH!
Starlight Glimmer: That was amazing!
Arkayna, Princess Celestia, Amber Morning, Light Skylanders, Bombshell (Skylanders) and Rage Mage VS Mumbo Jumbo - Hope Sunset learned a huge lesson
Mumbo Jumbo was next.
Mumbo: (to Arkayna) I hoped Sunset learned a huge lesson. Especially after puking all over Poromon, Poliwag, and Pinkie!
Arkayna: I hope so and she wanted to see what it was like to be drunk.
Princess Celestia: It's like she drank 50 gallons of Apple Cider.
Amber Morning: Yeah no kidding. That is crazy.
Spotlight: It sure was.
Mumbo Jumbo: At least she won't do it again. Lets do it!
They fired waves of magic and light and smashed him down.
Arkayna: OH YEAH!
Princess Celestia: That was so awesome!
SpongeBob Squarepants, Rarity, Sweetie Belle, Water Skylanders, Manterror and Drill Bit (Beast Wars) VS Nathon Lemon A.K.A. Spymaster - This will be another awesome underwater adventure to remember
Spymaster was next.
Spymaster: (to Spongebob) This will be another awesome underwater adventure to remember. Especially for you.
SpongeBob: (Laughs) It sure will be awesome.
Rarity: I think this was a most amazing adventure.
Sweetie Belle: I think so too and Scootaloo loves swimming.
Gill Grunt: I think it's awesome myself.
Manterror: I do too. It's great.
Drill Bit: You said it.
Spymaster: That is true. Lets do it!
Manterror: Always looking forward to this. Manterror, TERRORIZE!
He transformed!
Drill Bit: Me too. Lets do it! Drill Bit, TERRORIZE!
He transformed!
They fired waves of water, jewels, ice and energy and smashed him down.
SpongeBob: That was a great victory!
Rarity: Rapture Darling that was grand!
Jimmy Neutron, Princess Luna, Moondust, Snowdrop, Children of The Night, Dark Skylanders, Cicadacon and Retrax VS Johnny Horton A.K.A. Griffin (Marvel) - Glad Hariel is gonna whip Uvula's butt despite her being her sister.
Griffin was next.
Griffin: (to Jimmy) I'm glad Hariel is gonna whip Uvula's butt despite her being her sister. Like with Elyon and Phobos.
Jimmy Neutron: That is a most astounding resemblance to the scenario and it will show how rough the severance of family ties can be.
Princess Luna: Yeah and I think it's amazing how Hariel is gonna make sure that Uvula pays for her crimes.
Moondust: I think it's a strong sense of justice.
Snowdrop: You got that right.
Gari: It's gonna be awesome to smash her to pulp.
Blackout: It sure will be fun.
Cicadacon; It sure will be therapeutic too.
Retrax: Yeah Uvula had this coming.
Griffin: You got that right. Lets do it!
Cicadacon: I'm ready for this. Cicadacon, TERRORIZE!
He transformed!
Retrax: It'll be fun. Retrax, TERRORIZE!
He transformed too!
They fired waves of darkness and energy and smashed him down.
Jimmy Neutron: A most great success!
Princess Luna: A true victory of the night!
Fiona Hernandez the Uria, Lord of Searing Flames Gene-Slammer, Apple Bloom, Sweetie Belle, Scootaloo, Diamond Tiara, Silver Spoon, RD Lola and Misty Tredwell VS Kimberly Ann Hart the Pink Ranger Slayer
Pink Ranger Slayer was next.
Pink Ranger Slayer: It sure is weird battling you all underwater.
Fiona Hernandez: I know. First time we've ever battled underwater and it'll be fun.
Pink Ranger Slayer: Yeah. Also it's really crazy that Nico now has these awesome meat powers now.
Fiona Hernandez: I think they are really cool. But it's really scary that there is a battle going on with meat and vegetables in another galaxy. And it has a very amazing Star Wars Style setup.
Apple Bloom: That is so awesome.
Sweetie Belle: Yeah it sure is and I think it's amazing.
Scootaloo: Yeah it sure is.
Diamond Tiara: Meat and Vegetables battling is like one of the oldest battles in the world.
Silver Spoon: That is so amazing.
Misty Tredwell: I like both meat and vegetables myself actually.
Pink Ranger Slayer: Me too. That is awesome. Lets do it!
They fired waves of fire and elements and smashed her down.
Fiona Hernandez: FIRE WINS!
Cutie Mark Crusaders: CUTIE MARK CRUSADERS VICTORY! YAY!
Marie Hernandez the Gene-Slammer of Hamon, Lord of Striking Thunder, Frozen Fright, Thunder Terror, Magma Gloom, Toxic Horror, Louie PoisonSea, RD Lincoln and Elena VS Weddinmon
Weddinmon was next.
Weddinmon: This is gonna be awesome fighting underwater.
Marie Hernandez: It sure will. I hope you don't dissolve while we're underwater because wedding cakes dissolve when they are underwater.
Weddinmon: Don't worry. Vypra used her magic to make me immune to water and she made me indestructible.
Marie Hernandez: That's good.
Weddinmon: Yeah. But Lincoln going through those challenges for the Hairy Chest of Resilience Badge was a really strong and tough battle for him.
Marie Hernandez: No kidding. It was really tough and they packed a really tremendous wallop.
Frozen Fright: Yeah that was wicked.
Thunder Terror: I would normally call those acts of torture but those were tough challenges.
Magma Gloom: They were awesome too.
Toxic Horror: It sure was awesome too.
Louie PoisonSea: I thought it was cool myself.
Weddinmon: No kidding. Lets do it!
They fired waves of lightning and elements and smashed her down.
Marie Hernandez: LIGHTNING WINS!
Fearful 5: FEARFUL 5 VICTORY!
Nicole Hernandez the Raviel, Lord of Phantasms Gene-Slammer, Star Swirl the Bearded, Rockhoof, Somnambula, Mistmane, Flash Magnus, Mage Meadowbrook, Gusty the Great, Clover the Clever, RD Lucy and Carly Atlas VS Marcel Bonaparte
Marcel was next.
Marcel: Strange that we're having our battle underwater aren't we?
Nicole Hernandez: No kidding and it's amazing being underwater too. I like all the views of the fish and everything.
Star Swirl: It's a totally different world underwater.
Rockhoof: (Scottish Accent) It sure is a strange world now)
Somnambula: (Egyptian Accent) It sure is magnificent though.
Mistmane: I think it's really cool too.
Flash Magnus: I think it's cool myself too.
Mage Meadowbrook: I agree too.
Gusty: Same with me.
Clover the Clever: Me too.
Carly Atlas: I do too.
Marcel: It sure is something. Lets do it!
They fired waves of darkness and elements and smashed him down.
Nicole Hernandez: DARKNESS WINS!
Star Swirl: That was fun!
Marina "Mermaid" Reagan the Piscciss Volann Gene-Slammer, Lily the Mermaid, Oceanus Shenron and Bai Tza VS Aquafiend
Aquafiend was next.
Aquafiend: We fought on land and now we're fighting underwater.
Marina: We sure are and now I get to face you in my favorite element.
Lily the Mermaid: This is gonna be a lot of fun.
Oceanus Shenron: That is gonna be cool.
Bai Tza: It sure will be cool.
Aquafiend: Indeed.
They fired waves of water and smashed him down.
Lightspeed Rescue Rangers, Megaforce Rangers, Nico, Eli, Nunnally, Laney, Lana, Lola and Maria VS Aquafiend
Aquafiend was next for the ranger battle.
Nico: This is gonna be good.
Nico teleported and opened Aquafiend's safe ad in it was a bunch of swords and they were called the Apocalyptic Vampire Destroyers, they're large swords with the anti-Mikaela symbol etched on the 6'5" massive, wide, double-edged man-sized blades, large black angel wings for the crossguards, large gems for the hilts, longer black handles, and large gems surrounded by large black angel wings for the pommels. Once in hand, they'll get a massive power and energy increase, along with sleeveless black trenchcoats and large black angel wings on their backs.
Nico teleported back with the swords.
Lightspeed Rescue: LIGHTSPEED RESCUE!
Ryan: TITANIUM POWER!
They transformed and were ready!
Megaforce Rangers: LEGENDARY RANGER MODE! LIGHTSPEED RESCUE!
The Megaforce Rangers turned into the Lightspeed Rescue Rangers too!
Nico: Time for some buttkicking! V-LANCERS!
They summoned their V-Lancers.
Carter: SPECTRA BLAST!
They fired Rainbow Energy blasts and they were formed into an energy ball.
Carter: ON TARGET!
Nico: FIRE!
They fired waves of energy and elements and the blasts all hit him and he exploded!
KRABBBBBBBBBOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM!
He was dead!
Nico: Aquafiend you have failed this world!
Troy Burrows: Raners that's a Super Mega Win.
Nico: At least he will come back.
We regrouped and Varie and Uvula were still going at each other.
POW BLAM BIFF SMASH BLANG! BLARGA FLARGA!
Gia: Time for a beatdown under the sea!
Megaforce Rangers: LEGENDARY RANGER MODE! DRAGON BLITZKRIEG!
The Megaforce Rangers turned into the Changeman Rangers!
We went at Uvula and punched and smashed and pulverized her all over the place.
POW! BLANG WHAM SMASH WHAP BLAM!
Cybertron Crumplezone, Teresa, Sailor Venus and Beachcomber used the Velocitron, Earth and Venus Cyber Planet Keys and they turned Crumplezone's boosters into powerful energy cannons, and enhanced Teresa and Sailor Venus's powers and Beachcombers agility 100-fold.
Cybertron Crumplezone and Teresa: WIND SPEED LASER BLAST!
Sailor Venus and Beachcomber: VENUS AGILITY BURST!
Duskmon and Jeri: DARKNESS LION PROWL!
Earth and Grumblemon: EARTH FORCE BLAST!
Kari and Arbormon: LIGHT WOOD MEGA BLAST!
Stacy and Ranamon: WATER OF FURY BLAST!
Davis and Mercurymon: METAL FURY STRIKE!
Troy and Blizzard: RED BLIZZARD OF FURY!
Noah and MetalSeadramon: BLUE RIVER OF POWER!
Jake Holling and Etemon: GREEN BANANAS OF DOOM!
Gia and Bonz: YELLWO BONES OF ENERGY!
Emma and Dayu: PINK WIND OF FURY!
Orion and Harpymon: SILVER STORM OF FURY!
Rarity, Sweetie Belle, Water Skylanders and Varie: JEWELS OF GENEROSITY MAELSTROM!
They fired a massive wave of elements and energy and rainbow energy.
Hariel, Varie, Mercurymon, AncientMermaidmon, Ranamon, Neptune Crusaders, Ariel and Eli: WATER NEPTUNE FURY BLAST!
They fired waves of water and energy.
Lincoln: DISNEY SONG ELEMENT STYLE: CIRCLE OF LIFE! (The Lion King)
Yuna Kamihara: DISNEY SONG WATER STYLE: HAWAIIAN ROLLER COASTER RIDE! (Lilo & Stitch)
Nanami: DISNEY SONG WATER STYLE: UNDER THE SEA! (The Little Mermaid)
Toph: DISNEY SONG EARTH STYLE: LITTLE APRIL SHOWER! (Bambi)
Julie Makimoto: DISNEY SONG EARTH STYLE: LOOKING FOR ROMANCE! (Bambi)
Entrapta: DISNEY SONG LIGHTNING STYLE: TOUCH THE SKY! (Brave)
Perfuma: DISNEY SONG NATURE STYLE: ON MY WAY! (Brother Bear)
Frosta: DISNEY SONG ICE STYLE: LET IT GO! (Frozen)
Mai Shiranui: DISNEY SONG FIRE STYLE: ONE JUMP AHEAD! (Aladdin)
Jessica Shannon: DISNEY SONG STING STYLE: BE OUR GUEST! (Beauty and The Beast)
Sari Sumdac: DISNEY SONG LIGHTNING STYLE: BARE NECESSITIES! (The Jungle Book)
Shantae: DISNEY SONG MAGIC STYLE: BIBBIDI-BOBBIDI-BOO! (Cinderella)
Hilda: (British Accent) DISNEY SONG FIRE STYLE: A DREAM IS A WISH YOUR HEART MAKES! (Cinderella)
Akko: DISNEY SONG STAR STYLE: ONCE UPON A DREAM! (Sleeping Beauty)
R. Mika: DISNEY SONG LIGHT STYLE: REFLECTION! (Mulan)
Menat: DISNEY SONG STAR STYLE: A SPOONFUL OF SUGAR! (Mary Poppins)
Colette Brunel: DISNEY SONG LIGHT STYLE: YOU CAN FLY! (Peter Pan)
Ryuko Matoi (TLPS): DISNEY SONG DARK STYLE: FRIEND LIKE ME! (Aladdin)
They fired waves of elements and they formed into the streams of Disney Music.
Lincoln and his Harem: DISNEY SONG fINAL SMASH: DISNEY SONG BIG BANG ATTACK!
They fired a massive Big Bang Attack powered by Disney songs at Uvula the Sea Hag!
The blasts all hit her and exploded with incredible power!
EXTREMELY MASSIVE EXPLOSION!
The explosion knocked her down and smashed her into the dirt and she was knocked out.
We tied her up and beamed her into the Masters of Evil Prison.
Me: Good riddance.
Nico: Yep.
Billy: Sorry I didn't tell you I was married, guys.
Knightbrace: No worries, Billy.
Fixer: The thought just slipped your mind. That's all.
Mumbo: But at least we know now.
Spymaster: And Hariel's sister has been dealt with.
Griffin: And now, you can rub your marriage in Ms. Butterbean's face.
Me: Yep.
Nico: But we're not done yet.
?: (Echoing Demonic Voice) I will enjoy hearing your screams of pain and suffering!
Suddenly, the eight large planets and stars orbiting around my legs, the eight large orange orbs orbiting around Lincoln, Linka, TLPS Ms. Tarantula's, and Duke Lincoln's legs, the eight large dark blue orbs orbiting around Ed Cowart's legs, the eight large midnight blue orbs orbiting around TLPS Mr. Wolf's legs, the eight large crimson red orbs orbiting around Naruto and Nate Adams' legs, the eight large fiery red orbs orbiting around Zach Gurdle's legs, the eight large silver orbs orbiting around Clyde McBride's legs, the eight large black orbs with the Eye of Horus orbiting around Cody (OC)'s legs, the eight large black orbs orbiting around Lucy, Lars, and Dudley Puppy's legs, the eight large pink orbs orbiting around Lola and Lexx Loud's and Steven Universe's legs, the eight large green orbs orbiting around Lynn Sr.'s legs, the eight emerald green orbs orbiting around Yakko Warner's legs, the eight large sapphire blue orbs orbiting around Wakko Warner's legs, the eight large hot pink orbs orbiting around Dot Warner's legs, the eight large marine blue orbs orbiting around Liam, Lana, and Leif Loud's legs, the eight large scarlet red orbs orbiting around Lynn Loud and Lynn Jr.'s legs, the eight coral red orbs orbiting around Timon's legs, the eight large blue orbs orbiting around Lori, TLPS Mr. Shark, Skippy, and Loki Loud's legs, the eight large sea-foam green orbs orbiting around Leni and Loni Loud's legs, the eight large yellow orbs orbiting around Luan, TLPS Mr. Snake, and Lane Loud's legs, the eight large brown orbs orbiting around Laney and Larry Loud's legs, the eight large light green orbs orbiting around Lisa and Levi Loud's legs, the eight large lavender orbs orbiting around Lily and Leon Loud's legs, the eight large colored orbs orbiting around Bobby Santiago and Nico's legs, the eight large rainbow orbs orbiting around Rainbow Dash's legs, the eight large aqua blue orbs orbiting around Varie and Adam Lyon's legs, the eight large white orbs orbiting around Timmy Turner's legs, and the eight large purple orbs orbiting around Luke Loud's legs and Menat's legs, along with our gems on our Bracelets of The Champions of the Universe were glowing, and that means we've got big trouble incoming.
Maya Fallegeros: That voice, I knew there was no mistaking it. You can come out now, Kan-Ra.
A figure came out, and it was none other than the cursed undead megalomaniacal mad sorcerer from Ancient Babylon, Kan-Ra.
Maya Fallegeros: I should've known you'd show up, sorcerer. But, this time, we'll see to it that you will never torment anyone ever again.
Guan Yinping: And I've had it up to hear with you to last an eternity.
Suddenly, Guan Yinping's brown eyes turned neon brown, and she was surrounded by a green energy aura with green flames, Earth, and dragons, she got out her War God's Legacy double-headed mace, and as she approached Kan-Ra, she left green energy, green flames, Earth, and dragons with every step.
Guan Yinping: Kan-Ra, the crimes that you have committed against mankind for over two millennia can never be forgiven, you have spilled the blood of so many innocent people, and for that, I will see to it that you are brought to justice once and for all.
Suddenly, Guan Yinping was surrounded by a massive vortex of green energy with green flames and Earth surrounding it, there was a dragon flying around the vortex, and inside the vortex is a green phoenix. Then, as the vortex faded, Guan Yinping emerged, but she was changed forever.
(IMPERATRIX MUNDI PLAYS AT 1:45 TO 2:14)
Guan Yinping grew to 6'5" in height, she had the body of a goddess and she has green highlights in the bangs of her really long black hair with pink flowers in the braids, she has neon brown eyes and a green energy aura with green flames, flowers, Earth, and dragons surrounding her, she has a Chinese dragon holding the Earth Kanji in its claws emblazoned on her forehead, she has on dragon earrings with green gems for eyes and holding the Earth Kanji in its claws, and she also has a dragon with green gems for the eyes and the Earth Kanji in its claws for the second pendant of her Thunderbird Necklace of Eternal Love with green gems on the gold lightning bolts and green crystals from her Crystal Necklace of The Buddha which merged with her Thunderbird Necklace of Eternal Love. Guan Yinping has on a green and white sleeveless blouse with a gold phoenix on it, green skirt with the Shu Dragon on it, green pants, and black ankle-length combat boots, and she has on green weighted bands with silver phoenixes on her biceps and thighs, and she has on a long green sleeveless silk coat with lightning bolts and a dragon on it, and on the back is a dragon surrounded by Earth and flames. Guan Yinping felt a sharp pain on her back, and then, massive black angel wings with green tips on the large black feathers, had sprouted out of her back.
Suddenly, Guan Yinping's War God's Legacy double-headed mace was surrounded by a kaleidoscope of green energy, green fire, and Earth, and when it emerged, it was transformed into Jiutian Xuannü's Mace of Justice and War, it's a new double-headed mace with a 11'6" crimson red pole with gold tips and gold dragons wrapped around both ends, and hooked onto the gold ends are two massive green sphere mace heads with gold filigree and green gems around the sphere mace heads. Guan Yinping has on her new large gold cuff Bracelets of the Champions of The Universe with green gems on her wrists, gold Belt of Elemental Bravery with a gold dragon head with a large green gem in its open mouth for the belt buckle, large green Spellbook of The Gods and The Universe on her left hip and Eater of Sins revolver holstered on her right hip. There are gold Chinese characters right below the dragon that said, "Guan Yinping, Youngest Daughter of Guan Yu, Youngest Sister of Guan Ping, Guan Suo, and Guan Xing, Warrior and Defender of Shu, Loving Future Wife of Lincoln Loud, Slayer of Evil, Deranged, Murderous, Ruthless, and Sadistic Bastards, Master of The Double-Headed Mace, and Master of Earth and Dragons."
关银萍,关羽的小女儿,关萍的妹妹,关锁,关星,蜀国的勇士和捍卫者,林肯洛德的未来妻子,邪恶的杀手,疯狂,凶残,无情,残暴的混蛋,大师双头狼牙棒,地龙大师
Guan Yinping has transformed into SUPER ANGEL INFINITY DIVINE EARTHSTORM DRAGON ANGEL OF EARTH JUSTICE AND DIVINE LOVE!
We were amazed by Guan Yinping's Super Angel Infinity transformation, and when Lincoln saw her, he had an atomic red blush on his face and hearts in his eyes. But, when Kan-Ra saw it, he fired a blast of dark magic to try and kill her, but Guan Yinping fired a powerful green energy blast with Earth and dragons surrounding it, and it hit the undead Babylonian sorcerer, and he hit back first into a wall.
Lincoln: Wow, Guan Yinping, you look beautiful. How do you feel?
Guan Yinping: (Divine Echoing Cosmic Voice of The Earth Dragon and Divine Love) I feel incredible, Lincoln. Now, shall we put an end to Kan-Ra forever?
Lincoln: (Smiles) With pleasure.
Lincoln unholstered his improved massive Sword of Universal Hope and Elemental Bravery from his wider and muscular back and he transformed into Super Angel-Ebonwu-Thunderbird Eternity Infinity Elemental Thunderbird Buffalo Angel of Universal Justice and Elemental Hope, which was now even more infinitely stronger than ever, and he joined Guan Yinping.
Lincoln: (Divine Echoing Cosmic Elemental Voice of Universal Justice and Elemental Hope) This is the last time we'll deal with you, Kan-Ra.
Guan Yinping and Lincoln went at Kan-Ra, who fired blasts of dark magic and sand at them, but they dodged them, and then, they fired powerful blasts of rainbow energy, green energy, elemental forces, Earth, Thunderbirds, Phoenixes, Dragons, and Buffalo, and they exploded with incredible power as they hit Kan-Ra. Then, they attacked Kan-Ra with their weapons, bashing him hard with twirls from Guan Yinping's new double-headed mace, and Lincoln really left some nasty scars on Kan-Ra with his massive sword, and Lincoln also undid Kan-Ra's cursed immortality by firing a powerful blast of magic at him. Then, he fired a powerful blast of red energy, and as it hit Kan-Ra, Lincoln sucked out all of Kan-Ra's powers, magic, and knowledge that he learned and gained over two millennia, and he and the rest of us made them our own, and we also assimilated them as well. Then, Lincoln sent Kan-Ra flying with one upward swing of his massive sword.
Guan Yinping and Lincoln then fired two massive energy beams, which hit a now mortal Kan-Ra, and as it exploded with incredible power, the resulting explosion killed Kan-Ra, and as soon as his spirit appeared, Guan Yinping and Lincoln marked Kan-Ra's forehead with a kanji, and it also affected the evil Imhotep who's in The Book of Vile Darkness, and condemned them to The Black Gates, and their evil spirits was erased from existence forever when they were found guilty for their crimes over the millennia. We cheer wildly for what Lincoln and Guan Yinping did, as they holster their weapons and power down, and Guan Yinping's new body, clothes, weapons, angel wings, and jewelry are permanent.
Guan Yinping: As Nico would say, Kan-Ra, you have failed this entire world.
Nico: He's failed this world two millennia ago.
Guan Yinping: Thank you for helping me get rid of Kan-Ra, Lincoln.
Lincoln: (Smiles Warmly) You're welcome, Guan Yinping.
Guan Yinping wrapped her arms around Lincoln's waist, and he wrapped his abnormally massive and powerful muscular arms around Guan Yinping's waist, and he brought her into an embrace, which took her by surprise and that brought an atomic red blush to her face. Then, as Lincoln leaned down to her face, they kissed passionately as she wraps her left arm around his wider and muscular back, and her left hand was on his massive and wide right pec, and right behind them was a Thunderbird, Phoenix, Angel, and Dragon flying in the air, and we also saw a herd of Buffalo running across the field and lightning crashing down behind them, and the display of the elemental forces, and we cheered for them.
Nico: Alright, way to go, guys.
Then, they came back to us.
Lincoln: And you were right, Nico, we also used The Black Gates on Imhotep as well, and he and Kan-Ra were erased from existence forever for their crimes.
Nico: Awesome, now, we won't have to deal with Imhotep returning ever again to seek revenge. Now, we're rid of him and Kan-Ra forever.
Eli: Their crimes over the millennia in The Middle East can never be forgiven.
Cody (OC): That's right, Eli. What Imhotep did in Egypt to Pharaoh Seti I and what Kan-Ra tried to do to The Babylonian King in Babylon can never be forgiven, those two deserve to be wiped out for good for their crimes.
Billy: Yep. (To the viewers) This was funny and amazing. Hope you all liked it.
Nico: We all did. Great job today everyone. Lets head home.
We went back home and enjoyed the rest of the day and Hariel was now part of the team. We later went to sleep.
THE END
Another awesome fanfic done.
This was a funny chapter. Hey, Water You Doing? was a really awesome and funny chapter and now Billy now has an awesome Mermaid as a wife. The episode aired on March 9th, 2007 and it was awesome. The first part was for the Johnny Test Episode called How to Become a John-I Knight and that was a really funny and awesome episode. That one aired on August 22nd, 2011 and it was funny. The second part was for the Ed Edd N Eddy episode called The Good The Bad And The Ed and that was a really funny episode. Lincoln really had fun on that one. That one aired on August 14th, 2006 and it was awesome. NicoChan11, JediAvatarOfShinobi, Omegahatchiyak12, XP4Universe, Darkhai, vinjedi1995, Drako1234658, Nflemingful, Etstheclarencefan and ninjakingofhearts gave me the ideas for this and so did the guest reviewer. Thanks guys. Nico's next rescue is gonna be something we haven't done in a while. Nico is going to test his awesome power against an Evil Sasuke and he has a lot of words for him. Nico and William are going to duke it out against him and they are also going to meet a Splixson Gene-Slammer named Jordan Ramsey and she is from Nico's Cooking Class. The next rescue for Lincoln is gonna be in the world of Psycho from 1960 and Lincoln and his group are going to face the psychotic monster Norman Bates and make him pay for his crimes and also they are going to meet Lori Estevez Salazar and sheis the Gene-Slammer of Vennominaga the Deity of Poisonous Snakes and her bite is worse than her bark. She also is going to reveal how she saved Lincoln from a brutal attack from Lynn and left her in the hospital for weeks for trying to kill Lincoln. That will be revealed during the exercise scene. Next chapter is for the episode of Billy and Mandy called The Really Odd Couple and Billy and Mandy are gonna be at each others throats because of a stink bomb that was accidentally detonated in Mandy's house and she had her house condemned for fumigation for a while and now Billy and Mandy hate each other. But also Bobby from the episode Whatever Happened To Billy What's-His-Name is going to appear for revenge. Get ready for a fight with 2 friends and an old enemy.
See you all tomorrow.
