This chapter is a parody of The Ed Edd N Eddy episode Rent An Ed.
At an amazing fast food stadium it was time for the start of the first ever Gotham Royal York Fry Cook Games.
Johnny: Welcome, sports fans, to the 1st Ever Gotham Royal York Annual Fry Cook Games.
[Horns are played as Harold the Flame Runner runs into the stadium, holding a small torch. He runs up the stairs to a huge hamburger.]
Harold: I declare these Fry Cook Games... open! [A gust of wind blows by and puts out the flame on the torch. The scene cuts to the "Please Stand By" screen. The screen cuts back to the stadium as the horns blow again and Harold runs back into the stadium, but this time, he is shielding the torch with his hand and panting. He runs back up the stairs to the huge hamburger.] I declare these Fry Cook Games... open! [lights the huge hamburger, then a second later, he starts being on fire]
Johnny: So begin the 1st Ever Fry Cook Games. I'm Johnny Logan, and it's a beautiful day here at Gotham Royal York's Fast Food Coliseum.
[A clip plays showing a woman tossing a large drinking straw into a large plastic cup like a javelin]
Johnny: They come from everywhere microwaves hum, [A clip of a man throwing an uncooked patty onto a grill like a discus] patties sizzle, [A clip of a man bouncing on top of a large cube of gelatin and landing on a mat is shown] and heat lamps keep the fast food spirit warm... and soggy. But the real story is the bitter rivalry between former competitors Lynn Loud Sr. of Lynn's Table and Ophelia Shroud of The Pasta Bowl.
[Pictures of both Lynn Loud Sr. and Ophelia Shroud appear. A clip of Lynn Sr. lifting up two barrels of pickles is shown like lifting dumbbells]
Johnny: Who could forget the year Lynn Sr. won gold for this 500 pickle clean-and-jerk?
[Lynn Sr. is shown on a podium on the number one step, while Ophelia is below him on the second]
Johnny: Not Ophelia.
[Ophelia sprays Lynn Sr. with a hose. A clip of Ophelia flipping around while hanging onto two onion rings is shown]
Johnny: Or when Ophelia won the hearts of millions by becoming the youngest ever for performing this perfect onion ring routine... with a broken leg?
[A cast is around Ophelia's left leg. Ophelia is shown in the number one spot on the podium this time, with Lynn Sr. below her]
Johnny: Lynn Sr. wasn't moved.
[A blast of energy hit Ophelia from Lisa who was in the audience.]
Johnny: And now, late word is that this year, the Lynn's Table will be represented by a new competitor, on what is perhaps the greatest day of his young life. [A picture of a shadowy figure of a body with a question mark over it appears. The figure turns around and is revealed to be Nico, wearing a sweatband and sports uniform. Nico is standing next to Lynn Sr., who is sitting on a bench staring at a stopwatch]
Nico: This is perhaps the greatest day of my young life, Mr. Lynn.
[Nico starts jogging in place]
Nico: I can't believe I'm representing the Lynn's Tables in the 1st ever Fry Cook Games on Land and Lily won this event underwater.
[A spotlight shines down on him and he puts his hand on his heart]
Nico: To bring home the gold is to bring honor and glory to our favorite restaurant Lynn's Table.
Lynn Sr.: I believe in you 100% Nico and you can do it! Also everyone is here to cheer for you.
We were all in the audience for him and the Masters of Evil were watching the event on TV and rooting for Nico.
Nico: Thanks Mr. Lynn.
Lynn Sr.: Go win the gold kiddo!
Nico: Aye, aye, Mr. Lynn!
[Nico starts doing pushups]
Nico: Thanks for coming with me, Nicole.
Nicole: No problem Nico. This is gonna be so cool seeing you compete in the Fry Cook Games.
Nico: I'm so excited for this and the Winter Olympics ended 3 days ago.
Nicole: Boy that's true. Wow.
Nico: Nicole, I promise we'll start using the Book of Vile Darkness again more often.
Nicole: I have a feeling. But this still is quite an honor that you are going to compete in the first ever Fry Cook Games here in Gotham Royal York.
Nico: Boy it sure is! (Starts Jumproping) This is gonna be so cool! If Lily can win this whole competition than so can anyone.
Nicole: I agree.
Me: Wow this is gonna be so awesome! Mr. Krabs, Plankton don't you think this is amazing that Nico is in this awesome competition?
Mr. Krabs: It sure is lad. And I'm really excited for Nico.
Plankton: I heard that Lily won the Fry Cook Games before.
Varie: She sure did and we are so proud of her. She represented the Krusty Krab.
Me: Yep. That was so awesome.
Nico was training hard.
Lynn Sr. sniffs the air.
Lynn Sr.: What's that smell in the air? I smell Ophelia Shroud!
[Camera zooms over to Ophelia Shroud, who is standing in the entranceway of the stadium.]
Ophelia Shroud: Oh yeah?! Well, I smell... [sniffs herself] Pew! He's right. I got to tone down on the perfume.
[Lynn Sr. runs over, his feet twinkling. Ophelia Shroud does the same. Ophelia Shroud makes a Broadway pose as corresponding music plays. Ophelia Shroud makes a similar pose, holding a cane and a top hat. Ophelia Shroud plays a piano, while Shroud blows into a tuba, messing up the rhythm]
Ophelia Shroud: I love messing things up.
She and Lynn Sr. went up to each other.
Ophelia Shroud: Are you ready to do or die, Mr. Loud?
Lynn Sr.: Always ready, Ophelia. Always ready.
Ophelia Shroud: Good. Because today, the Pasta is going to kick YOUR BUTT!
Lynn Sr.: That's what you think, but I got me a champion. Nico! Show her! [Nico does a karate routine, using two spatulas as nunchucks, then giggles innocently when he finishes] Look at him. In his prime. You ain't got no chance!
Ophelia Shroud: We'll see about that Loud!
Nico came up to her.
Nico: Haven't seen you for a while, Shroud. Sorry for abruptly sending you to jail. I had no problem foiling your plans each time. But Lincoln was the one who made the call. You understand, right?
Ophelia Shroud: Yeah I do. Perhaps serving chum wasn't the best idea for a restaurant.
Nico: Good. May the best man win.
Nicole: We're ready for this though. This is gonna be so awesome.
Nico: It sure is.
Me: I have a feeling this is gonna be awesome.
Nico went over to Lynn Sr.
Nico: I have a feeling this competition is gonna be tough. But at least Ophelia is gonna become a good friend hopefully.
Lynn Sr.: Friend? Not in here, she will.
Nico: What do you mean?
Me: Are you sure they won't be friends Plankton?
Plankton: Not at all J.D. If Ophelia Shroud is in every way like me then she won't quit.
Eli: She won't?
Plankton: She's plotting Nico's downfall right now!
Nico: She is?
Lynn Sr.: She's gonna stab you in the back.
Me: She wouldn't!
Plankton: Of course she would. Just look at her. A white hair devil: The hair of evil!
Lynn Sr.: She's making a mockery of your profession. Are we gonna let some pretender take away what belongs to the Lynn's Table?
Nico: NO!
Plankton: She's gonna get mean!
Ophelia Shroud: I'm mean!
Lynn Sr.: Get angry!
Nico: I'M ANGRY!
Plankton: Now she's gonna get out there!
Lynn Sr.: And win...
Plankton: That...
Lynn Sr.: Medal!
Ophelia Shroud: (FEROCIOUS ROAR!)
Nico: (EXTREMELY FEROCIOUS ROAR!)
Nico and Ophelia Shroud both roar ferociously.
Me: This is gonna be awesome.
Maria: Nico will have no problem winning. After all, Ophelia isn't even friends with him to begin with.
Me: Not in the least.
[Scene cuts to the first event]
Johnny: Our first event: The deep fry pole vault. [A deep fryer labeled "Fry King" sits in front of two high poles.]
Me: Whoa! This is gonna be sizzling.
[Nico stands in front of Lynn Sr., holding a long pole]
Lynn Sr.: Win this one for Lynn's Table kiddo!
Nico: FOR LYNN'S TABLE! [Nico flips over the poles and the deep fry and splats down on the circle drawn in the ground.
SPLAT!
[The crowd gasps. Nico forms a number one sign and the crowd cheers]
Me: ALL RIGHT NICO!
Ophelia Shroud: THIS IS FOR THE PASTA BOWL! [Ophelia flips over the poles, but lands on the handle of the deep fryer, flinging the oil right at the crowd and turning a cart full of fresh fish into a bunch of fish sticks . A vendor walks up and turns on a heat lamp]
Lou: Fish sticks! Get your fish sticks here!
Lola: I'll take it all my good man.
Lola gave him a huge amount of money and came back with the Fish Sticks.
Me: Awesome win for Nico.
May: How do you know Nico won that one?
Me: Said so on the scoreboard.
The score was at 1 to 0 Nico.
May: Oh.
[Scene cuts to the second event. Nico and Ophelia are standing in front of a tall ladder that leads to a diving board, perched above a bowl of chocolate syrup]
Johnny: The next event: The chocolate high dive.
Me: This is gonna be awesome.
Nico: Make way for the champion Ophelia.
[Nico climbs up the ladder]
Johnny: For his dive, Nico will be attempting a full Cookies and Cream fudge pop with two sticks.
[Nico holds up two popsicle sticks he uses Madame Rouge's shapeshifting powers to turn into a sponge and he sticks them into the top of his head]
Nico: (To the viewers) It wouldn't look right if I was a human with popsicle sticks in me.
Johnny: And now, absolute silence.
[The crowd stops chattering. Nico jumps off the diving board]
Nico: I scream for ice cream! [Nico flips around a couple times, then leaps toward the bowl. He lands in the chocolate syrup, getting coated in it, then hops out of it and into a sandbox full of mint chips]
Johnny: Perfect entry! And Mint chips? That's unexpected.
[Nico lands in the circle]
Johnny: He stuck it!
We cheered wildly.
[Nico turns around toward the camera and grins]
Johnny: And just look at that even coating.
[Nico walks upside-down past Ophelia using the popsicle sticks for legs]
Nico: Top that, 4-Eyes.
Nicole: That was awesome.
Nico: Anyone wanna lick me?
May: I DO!
May went over and licked him clean!
Nico: (LAUGHS) Okay May you did it!
We laughed.
Me: It's Ophelia's turn!
[Ophelia then hops up onto the diving board with the lower half of her body inside an ice cream cone]
Johnny: Ophelia will be resurrecting an old favorite. The single scoop Orange cone with a chocolate dip.
[Ophelia slowly leans off the edge until he falls off the diving board]
Johnny: Just look at that concentration.
KRASPLASH!
[Ophelia splashes into the bowl, with chocolate syrup flying everywhere]
Johnny: Ooh, a little shaky on that entry.
[A live action Orange cone with a chocolate dip is shown]
Johnny: But just look at that form!
[Ophelia hops up to Nico grinning while Nico is very angry about losing]
Ophelia: Take that, Big boy!
Nico: Laugh while you can, 4-Eyes. It's not over yet.
Ophelia: That's what you think, but it's not over yet.
[A clip of highlights from the games is shown, beginning with Nico tossing a patty. Ophelia skates on a large grill with butter on her feet. Ophelia tosses a large bottle of ketchup up in the air. Nico and Ophelia race on a track carrying trays full of food; the two fly up in the air on two large spatulas. They both do a dance wearing colorful outfits and fruit hats, Ophelia's being 12 and Nico's being 27. The clip ends. A large arena on top of a hamburger is on screen. Johnny is still reporting]
Johnny: It's not over yet! With the score tied, we go to our final event! Bun wrestling.
Me: Oh this is gonna be good!
May: Oh no.
Me: Boy they are dead even in all these events.
Maria: This is gonna be awesome.
William: I think a Gene Slammer's gonna crash the event.
Me: Lets hope not.
Johnny: Who will take home the gold? Lynn Sr. of the Lynn's Table?
Lynn Sr.: [rubbing Nico's shoulders] Don't forget, he called big boy.
[Nico picks up a metal chain, bites off and chews up the middle of it. He bares his teeth, revealing the metal chain to now be attached to them like braces]
Johnny: Or Ophelia Shroud of the Pasta Bowl
Ophelia Shroud: I will never forgive him for calling me 4-Eyes!
[Heavy metal music plays. The bell rings. Nico tears off his blue robe, showing off his extremely large, muscular body. Ophelia rips off her own green robe, underneath which she is wearing a business suit. She tears off the business suit, also revealing an extremely large, muscular body. The two dive at each other, screaming, until they collide. They wrestle and continue to wind up in twisted positions. They spin around and wind up wrestling with themselves. They realize this, and dive back at each other. Ophelia sits on top of Nico, holding his foot]
Ophelia: Forget the Pasta Bowl. This is personal.
[Ophelia takes off Nico's shoe and licks his foot slowly. Nico screams in agony.]
Me: EW! Ophelia you don't even want to know where those feet have been!
[The two wrestle again. Nico sits on Ophelia's chest and screams as he lifts up a pencil with the eraser side pointing toward Ophelia. He slowly brings it down to her name tag and erases the "Ophe" in "Ophelia", leaving "lia" and putting in an "e" turning it into "Leia"]
Ophelia: [screams, then yells out] My name's... not... LEIA!
[Ophelia tackles Nico in a puff of smoke and the two wrestle once more. But then Nico rolled with her and threw her out of the arena and smashed her head first into the crowd.]
DING DING DING!
Johnny: NICO WINS! LYNN'S TABLE WINS! LYNN'S TABLE WINS!
We all erupted into explosive cheering!
May: Nice job, honey!
Me: Way to go buddy!
Nico: That was AWESOME!
A roar was then heard and the a creature came out and it was a Ruimtever!
Nico: A Ruimtever!
Nicole: Right on cue.
Nico: Yep.
Ruimtever: (In a girl's voice) (Chinese Accent) That was amazingly well done Nico!
Nico: That voice. Carly Qin?
Ruimtever: It's been a while Nico.
Nicole: Looks like you're in full control.
Ruimtever: I sure am.
William: For a minute, I thought you would be out of control.
Nico: Looks like you thought wrong William.
Eli: Pay up bud.
William grumbled and gave him $100.00.
Eli: We had a bet going and I said that I would be hoping that she would not be feral.
Nico: Oh.
Carly Qin reverted back and she was a beautiful girl with purple hair and she had amazing angel wings and was dressed in purple clothes.
Nico: Awesome and Carly is a real angel.
Laney: That is amazing. Those wings are incredible.
Carly Qin: Thank you Laney.
Leni: Lately, Gene Slammers Nico rescues don't end up naked. That means I don't have to waste materials.
Me: That is a good thing.
Nico: Yes it sure is.
Eli: At least it is making the jobs of the Fashion Brigade easier.
Me: That's true bro. But Nico really overpowered Ophelia in the whole contest. They were both evenly matched except in wrestling. She had no idea that you are a wrestling champion.
Nico: No she sure didn't.
Nicole: What's your favorite memory of Nico?
Carly Qin: I have a lot of them but my favorite is when me and Nico made star room furniture in woodworking class. We made an entire bedroom that has a solar system mobile style bed, chairs, desk and table in the shapes of each of the 9 planets.
Nico: That took a lot of work and engineering ingenuity.
Me: But that sounds like a really cool bedroom.
Nico: Yep and the Bed was the sun.
Eli: Neat.
Nico had the Gold Medal placed around his neck and it was awesome.
Nico and Carly hugged.
Nico: I really missed you.
Carly Qin: Me too Nico.
Qin Chen: And it's awesome having you back Carly.
Carly Qin: Same here Qin.
We had an awesome time at the Fry Cook Games. And it was a great day.
After Nico's rescue, Lincoln, Nico, Eli, Nicole Knudson, Lori, Leni, Luna, Luan, Lynn, Laney, Lucy, Lana, Lola, Lisa, Lily, Lincoln's harem, Sherlock Hound, TLPS Mr. Wolf, TLPS Mr. Piranha, TLPS Mr. Snake, TLPS Mr. Shark, TLPS Ms. Tarantula, Sima Shi, Sima Zhao, Sun Jian, Guo Jia, Zhang Bao, Guan Xing, Cao Cao, Liu Bei, Sun Quan, Sima Yi, Jiang Wei, Yukimura Sanada (Samurai Warriors), Keiji Maeda (Samurai Warriors), Kanetsugu Naoe (Samurai Warriors), Hanzo Hattori (Samurai Warriors), Musashi Miyamoto (Samurai Warriors), and Shanan Knudson are heading to the world of the 2015 movie The Good Dinosaur, and not only is Lincoln going to rescue the sixteen girls there, but we're also going to take down Thunderclap, and we got word that the Gene-Slammer for The 30,000-Year White Turtle is here too.
Lincoln: Wow, we're in the world of the 2015 movie The Good Dinosaur, and I know what we're going to do here, not only am I going to rescue the sixteen girls there, but we're also going to take down Thunderclap, and we got word that the Gene-Slammer for The 30,000-Year White Turtle is here too.
Nico: That's right, big guy. This should be good, and thanks for taking Ophelia Shroud back to prison, Lincoln.
Lincoln: You're welcome, Nico, and this time, she's not getting out ever again. After everything that she tried to do in trying to get her hands on my dad's recipes and the secrets of Lisa's inventions so she can rule the world, she deserves to stay there until the day she dies.
Earlier in the day, we found out that Nico defeated Ophelia Shroud in the Fry Cook Games, and after he won the competition, he bound Ophelia Shroud in a rainbow energy straitjacket, so she can't try to escape. Then, as soon as Lincoln arrived, Lincoln sprouted out one of his massive, long, and powerful deep sapphire blue werewolf tails, and it had a large suction cup proboscis. He plunged it on Ophelia Shroud's head, and then, he sucked out all of the information from her brain, and he sucked out and drained all of her intelligence, and he gained an immense intelligence boost, and turned her into a brainless drool monkey. Then, Lincoln beamed her to The Uranus Prison, this time, Ophelia Shroud was then put in a separate cell in Solitary Confinement, and she was chained to the wall with rainbow energy chains and Neutronium Chains.
Me: Now, we're finally rid of Ophelia Shroud, and this time for good.
Lincoln: You said it, J.D. And thanks for joining me on this rescue, Shanan.
Shanan: You're welcome, Lincoln. This is going to be one awesome rescue.
?: HELP!
Suddenly, Lincoln heard the sound of sixteen girls calling for help. With his deep sapphire blue cyborg eyes and superhuman sight, along with sensing energy signals, he saw and heard exactly where the call for help was coming from. He saw the sixteen girls, but they, along with Arlo and Spot, have been cornered by Thunderclap, and he's going to kill them.
Lincoln: Guys, I found the sixteen girls, but they, along with Arlo and Spot, have been cornered by Thunderclap, and he's going to kill them.
?: Why, that overgrown vulture! Let's clip his wings.
Then, we saw the 30,000-Year White Turtle head for us.
Lincoln: That voice, Arlene Montgomery, I knew it was you. But, we'll have to catch up later, right now, we've got a miserable Nyctosaurus to take down.
We rushed on over, and Lincoln fired a powerful barrage of rainbow energy balls and elemental forces, which hits Thunderclap and his gang of ferocious Pterosaurs, but Thunderclap survived, but his gang of ferocious Pterosaurs were killed. When Thunderclap saw us, he was enraged.
Thunderclap: How dare you get in the way of my dinner?!
Lincoln: Kitchen's closed, you overgrown rat with wings!
Lincoln unholstered his improved massive Sword of Universal Hope and Elemental Bravery from his wider and muscular back and he transformed into Super Angel-Ebonwu-Thunderbird Eternity Infinity Elemental Thunderbird Buffalo Angel of Universal Justice and Elemental Hope, The TLPS Bad Guys Gang transformed into their Super Angel Infinity forms and unholster their massive swords, Sima Shi, Sima Zhao, Sun Jian, Guo Jia, Zhang Bao, Guan Xing, Cao Cao, Liu Bei, Sima Yi, Sun Quan, and Jiang Wei got out their weapons, Lincoln's sisters transformed into their Super Angel Infinity forms and unholster their massive swords from their backs, Lincoln's sisters transformed into their Super Angel Infinity forms and unholster their massive swords from their backs, Lincoln's harem unholster their massive swords from their backs and transformed, Sherlock Hound transformed into Super Angel Eternity Infinity Stellar Darkness Demon Hound of Dark Compassion and Demonic Justice, and he unholstered his massive Sparda's Demon Fang of The Demon Hound sword from his wider and more muscular back, and Me, Nico, Eli, and Nicole also unholstered our massive swords and transformed, and we went at Thunderclap, and we fired powerful blasts of rainbow energy, colored energy, elemental forces, Fire, Ice, Water, Wind, Lightning, Earth, Lava, Light, Darkness, Crystals, Wood, Stars, Time Energy, Gravity, and Magic steel orbs, stars, rainbow flames, rainbow crystals, orange flames, blue flames, ice, and green flames at him, and they exploded with incredible power as they hit him.
This enraged Thunderclap, but before he could attack again, we saw a spear impale Thunderclap in his stomach, and then, Lincoln cuts Thunderclap down, and he was killed, and was given The Black Gates, and he and his army of vicious Pterosaurs were erased from existence. We cheered wildly as we holster our weapons and power down.
Lincoln: That's it for that evil monster. (To Arlene Montgomery) And it's so good to see you again, Arlene Montgomery.
Arlene Montgomery: You too, Lincoln. It's been a long time.
They went up to each other, and they hugged, and Arlene Montgomery was also very surprised at how much stronger and at how much taller and much more muscular Lincoln's gotten since she last saw him.
Lincoln: It sure has been a long time that I haven't seen you, and I've grown a lot since then.
Arlene Montgomery: Yeah, you've really grown a lot from the eleven-year-old cute little boy into a 17-year-old 7'0" tall and very handsome teen with abnormally massive and powerful upper and lower body muscles and eight-pack abs.
Nico: Wow, Lincoln, you know her?
Lincoln: Yeah, I do, Nico. This is Arlene Montgomery, and you guys are going to be in for a surprise: Arlene's an immortal cavegirl that lived for over 30,000 years.
This floored Nico, Eli, Nicole, Shanan, and I, along with those of us who hadn't joined the team, but not Lincoln's siblings, and we were really amazed.
Everyone: Wow!
Nico: (Amazed) Whoa, an immortal cavegirl?! That's incredible.
Me: (Amazed) That's so awesome!
J.D. 3: You said it, J.D.
Lincoln: Now, let's get you back to normal, Arlene. Boys, cover your eyes, Nicole, if anyone peeks, you know what to do. Hold still, Arlene, this is going to hurt.
Me, Nico, Eli, and the rest of the boys had covered our eyes as Lincoln snapped his fingers, and Ruby Kirlian was reverting back to normal. Arlene Montgomery is a beautiful 17-year-old with long jade green hair going to the upper part of her back, jade green eyes, fair skin, she's 6'5" in height, she had the body of a goddess, and she also now has massive blue angel wings, as she reigned in the power of 30,000-Year Turtle.
Lincoln: How do you feel, Arlene?
Arlene Montgomery: Good. (Realizes she's in her birthday suit) But, I'm also in my birthday suit.
Lincoln gave Arlene Montgomery a new wardrobe, a short-sleeved royal blue blouse with a jade green phoenix and dark blue skirt with the 30,000-Year Turtle on it, royal blue pants, royal blue leather ankle-high combat boots, and a long royal blue sleeveless trenchcoat with water and turtles on the coattails and The 30,000-Year Turtle on the back, and on her back is a large 30,000-Year Turtle-themed sword with a 6'5" massive, wide, double-edged, man-sized royal blue blade with The 30,000-Year Turtle etched on it, large jade green turtle heads with red gems for the crossguard, large blue gem for the hilt, longer black handle, and four large jade green turtle heads with red gems for the eyes and four large red gems in its mouths for the pommel.
Arlene Montgomery: Wow, I love the new outfit and large sword you made for me, Lincoln.
Suddenly, a Thunderbird Necklace of Eternal Love appeared on Arlene Montgomery's neck with jade green gems on the gold lightning bolts and blue crystals links from her new Crystal Necklace of the Buddha.
Arlene Montgomery: (Surprised) Whoa, is this...?
Lincoln: Yep, that's a Thunderbird Necklace of Eternal Love, which means you're now part of my harem and you're one of my many future wives, Arlene.
Arlene Montgomery had a smile on her face and tears in her eyes, as Lincoln wrapped his abnormally massive and powerful muscular arms around her waist and he leaned down and he kissed her on the lips, and she returned it, and we cheered for them. Then, we went up to the sixteen girls, and when Lincoln saw them, he immediately recognized them. The sixteen girls are Eve Neuschwanstein, Roukakuji Riru, Kurumi, Seto, and Setsuna from Needless, Ahagon Umiko, Hazuki Shizuku, Iijima Yun, Sakura Nene, Shinoda Hajime, Suzukaze Aoba, Takimoto Hifumi, Tooyama Rin, and Yagami Kou from New Game, and Juri Han from Street Fighter.
Lincoln: Oh wow, it's Eve Neuschwanstein, Roukakuji Riru, Kurumi, Seto, Setsuna, Ahagon Umiko, Hazuki Shizuku, Iijima Yun, Sakura Nene, Shinoda Hajime, Suzukaze Aoba, Takimoto Hifumi, Tooyama Rin, Yagami Kou, and Juri Han.
Helena McTroy: From Needless, New Game, and Street Fighter, awesome.
Nicole: Lincoln, you need to free Juri Han from her dark side before she tries to attack us.
Lincoln already fired a blast of light, which separated Juri Han from her Dark Side, Dark Juri, and he put her in an indestructible diamond prison, and put her in the room in The Pluto Prison, where she'll never be free.
Lincoln: Already done, Nicole. Are you girls okay?
Juri Han: Yeah, we're okay, thanks to you.
Then, when Juri Han and the other fifteen girls saw who it was that saved them from Thunderclap and separated her from Dark Juri, their faces turned atomic red upon seeing the 17-year-old 7'0" tall, handsome, bare-chested hunk with abnormally massive and powerful upper and lower body muscles, eight-pack abs, long white hair going down to the bottom of his neck and rainbow lightning bolt highlights in the bangs of his long white hair, rainbow colored thunderbird with a gold lightning bolt emblazoned on his forehead, golden lightning bolt cutie mark with the thunderbird and comic books right on his massive and wide right pec and it was surrounded by the symbols of Fire, Water, Ice, Wind, Earth, Nature, Light, and Darkness in a circle, large Celtic Cross cutie mark tattoo in the form of the cutie marks of Twilight Sparkle, Sunset Shimmer, Rainbow Dash, Applejack, Rarity, Pinkie Pie, Fluttershy, Starlight Glimmer, and Trixie Lulamoon, surrounded by a circle were the marks of the other girls in Lincoln's harem on his wider and more muscular back, and right on top was the Earth surrounded by the ring of mermaids and surrounded by a Thunderbird, Phoenix, and Buffalo, and below the Cutie Mark tattoo is a deep sapphire blue kanji that said, "Lincoln Landon Loud, Champion and Emissary of Hinon, Master of Lightning Storms, The Weather, and The Thirteen Elemental Forces, The Loud House's Man With A Plan, Golden-Hearted Brother of Many Siblings, and Golden-Hearted Lover, Father of Many Kids, Son, and Future Husband, Descendant of The 17th Century Duke Lincoln of Loch Loud in Scotland, Destroyer of Morag McLaughlin, Destroyer of Evil, Black-Hearted, Sadistic, Delusional, Power-Hungry Bastards, Talented Comic Book Writer and Video Gamer, God of Truth and Justice, and Ambassador and Beacon of Hope to The Universe", he has deep sapphire blue eyes, a tattoo of a pepper with fire surrounding it and a kanji that read "Spiciest Man of The Loud House" on his broader and muscular left shoulder, and a Mark of Manhood tattoo of a bodybuilder with a barbell raised above his head and around him are elemental forces and an orange kanji that read, "Lincoln Landon Loud, Strongest, Bravest, Resilient, Courageous, Handsomest, and Manliest Warrior of The Loud Family" on his massive left muscular forearm.
He had his massive Sword of Universal Hope and Elemental Bravery holstered on his wider and muscular back, his orange Crystal Saber holstered on his left hip and his Eater of Sins revolver holstered on his right hip, the Pisces the Fish constellation and Aquarius Zodiac sign on the back of his neck and the Cygnus the Swan constellation on the back of his massive left hand, large weighted orange bands on his massive biceps and thighs with silver phoenixes on them, his large gold Cuff Bracelets of The Champions of the Universe with large orange gems on his large wrists, massive and indestructible deep sapphire blue angel wings and the stars and blue nebulae reflecting on them with rainbow tips on the large deep sapphire blue feathers, and he was dressed in an orange version of He Man 2002's loincloth with hanging silver lightning bolts and long orange trenchcoat coattails with elemental forces, Thunderbirds, Phoenixes, and Buffalo on them and with hanging mini silver lightning bolts held up by his large gold Belt of Elemental Bravery with large orange gem for the belt buckle on his waist, a pair of large blue pants with multicolored lightning bolts on the thighs with the orange kanjis "Savior of The Loud House, Powerful Student of Many Powerful Teachers, Shinobi of The Hidden Leaf Village, Member of The Crusaders of The Thunderbird, and The Unifier of The Three Kingdoms" on the left legs, and large white leather combat boots with gold lightning bolts surrounded by a circle of smaller gold lightning bolts and armor on the toe area, silver Buffalo head stud earrings with the Thunderbird and Eternity Kanji on it, a large Thunderbird Necklace of Eternal Love with colored gems on the gold lightning bolts with a large deep sapphire blue gem in the shape of a Thunderbird on top of a silver Buffalo head with the Thunderbird and Eternity Kanji on his neck and across his bare chest, large fingerless orange gloves with the symbol of The Loud House on it and surrounded in a diamond formation are a Phoenix, Thunderbird, Buffalo, and Angel, a large Orange Buffalo Animal Spirit Ring on his left ring finger, large Blue Lantern ring on his right ring finger, he had eight large orange orbs orbiting around his legs, and circling around his feet on the floor are eight golden crosses with angelic runes.
Juri Han: Wait, you're Lincoln Loud of Team Phoenix Storm.
Oh wow, you're Lincoln Loud of Team Loud Phoenix Storm.
Lincoln: That's right, and it's a pleasure to meet you all.
Then, Lincoln made fifteen clones of himself, but before he and the fifteen clones went up to the girls, Juri Han ran up to Lincoln, and hugged his waist, and cried, as Lincoln leaned down, and he wraps his abnormally massive and powerful muscular arms around Juri Han and he hugged her, and he leaned down and kissed her, and the other fourteen girls went up to the other fourteen girls and picked them up and hugged them in their abnormally massive and powerful muscular arms, and kissed them on the lips, which they returned with equally intense passion, as they wrap their arms around the necks of Lincoln and his clones, and we cheered wildly at the scene.
Eve Neuschwanstein: (Seductively and rubs her right hand on Lincoln's massive and wide right pec) You too, big, tall, muscular, and handsome.
Suddenly, sixteen Thunderbird Necklaces of Eternal Love appeared around the necks of Eve Neuschwanstein, Roukakuji Riru, Kurumi, Seto, Setsuna, Ahagon Umiko, Hazuki Shizuku, Iijima Yun, Sakura Nene, Shinoda Hajime, Suzukaze Aoba, Takimoto Hifumi, Tooyama Rin, Yagami Kou, and Juri Han with colored gems and crystals on the gold lightning bolts. We returned to the Estate, we told everyone what happened, and they were shocked when they found out the villain we went after was Thunderclap.
But, when Lincoln showed what we did to Thunderclap, they all cheered wildly for Lincoln and the rest of us, and they hugged us, and the girls in Lincoln's harem then went up to Lincoln, and they kissed him all over. Lincoln and Arlene Montgomery have a lot of catching up to do, now that she's back in town, and we now have Arlo and Spot as new members of the team.
After getting rid of Thunderclap this time for good, we were training intensely in the gym, this time, doing 150,000,000 reps of crunches, wing push-ups and regular push-ups, pull-ups, lat pulldowns, bicep curls, leg curls, and chest presses with 9,500-lb barbells, squats, and going a few rounds with the punching bags, and we were really sweating like crazy, even doing yoga to clear our minds, and when Arlene Montgomery saw Lincoln working out like crazy, they had atomic red blushes on their faces.
Arlene Montgomery: Whoa, Lincoln's really grown to be a 17-year-old 7'0" tall, really big, and really strong young man, just look at those abnormally massive and powerful muscles hard at work, and to work out with those 9,500-lb barbells and not even get tired, incredible.
Lincoln: And I've also trained a lot under some very powerful teachers, J.D. and Nico included, Arlene, and now, I can also fight and defend myself.
Arlene Montgomery: That's incredible.
Nico: It sure is, Arlene. And it's so awesome to find out that you're an immortal cavegirl who lived for 30,000 years. We met J.D.'s immortal caveman ancestor from 75,000 years ago two years ago, and it was so awesome. And I can guess that you became an immortal cavegirl when you were exposed to a meteor's powerful energy, and you became immortal, just like K'rull the Eternal and Vandal Savage.
Arlene Montgomery: That's right, Nico, and the only one I told about this was Lincoln. One day, I was with Lincoln helping him with an important project in Art Class, this time, it's on the Funerary Art that originated from Egypt. But, as we were getting started, Lynn busted in and forced Lincoln to help her in her sparring, but he told her "no", and that he and I were working on a project for school. But, this made Lynn mad, and she wanted to pummel him. But, I got in the way, put her arm in an armlock, and I tossed her into her room, and she crashed into her bed. Lincoln was really amazed at just how strong I was, and then, I told him that I was an immortal cavegirl who lived for over 30,000 years, and I became immortal due to getting exposed to a meteor's powerful energy, and after I was done, he was really stunned with awe and amazement.
Maria Rockell: Now, that's really, really awesome.
Lincoln: You said it, Maria. Just wait until Arlene Montgomery meets K'Rull The Eternal, he'll truly be amazed.
William Dunbar: Along with Vandal Savage. I don't know if Vypra had recruited him into The Masters of Evil yet.
Nico: Actually, she hadn't recruited him yet. But, you just gave me a good idea for her, William.
Lincoln: Yeah, it sure is a good idea, and for his archenemy, I hope that the next Gene Slammer for me to rescue is the Gene Slammer for The Megarock Dragon.
Me: Ooh, now that's a good one.
We got a shower afterwards, and then, Lincoln, his harem, and his kids, Rihoko Amaha, Thunder Sparkle, Phoenix Shimmer, Little Cheese, Butterfly Rose & Mirage Daffodil, Storm Rainbow, Emerald Shine, Topaz Light, Thunderbird Apple, Lightning Fritter, Starlight Aurora, Fireheart Flame, Strawberry Pancake & Strawberry Shake, Lemon Zest, Raspberry Torte, Blueberry Pie, Plum Pie, Orange Slices, Cherry Pie, Apple Pie with Unit J50G/Glitch, Sweet Tarts with Snowstalker, Phyllis with Venus the Plant, and Sour Patch, were getting ready for a family trip to Pinna Park in the world of Mario.
Lincoln: Alright, everyone, are we ready?
Thunder Sparkle: We're ready, Dad.
Lincoln, his harem, and his kids leave the World Tree Estate, and they head for the world of Mario. When they arrived in Pinna Park, it's an amazing large amusement park island located just off the coast of Isle Delfino's mainland, and forms the "tail fin" of the dolphin-shaped island.
Phoenix Shimmer: Wow, what is this place, Dad?
Lincoln: This, Phoenix Shimmer, is Pinna Park. Mario told me about this place, and I figured that this would be the perfect place for all of us to have some family fun.
Little Cheese: It's perfect, Dad. Alright, everyone, let's have some fun.
Lincoln, his harem, and his kids got started, and they had a lot of fun by going on the Ferris Wheel, the Pirate Ship, The Yoshi-Go-Round, and The Clam Cups. Then, they had lunch in the lunch area, and for lunch, Lincoln made some BLT sandwiches, Caesar Salad with zesty Italian Dressing, Macaroni and Cheese Bites, and he also made mixed fruit smoothies. Then, as soon as the sun's about to set, Lincoln made clones of himself, and he and the clones went to the girls in his harem, and they picked them up in their abnormally massive and powerful muscular arms, and as the sun turns orange, they passionately kissed and hugged with supercharged and intense passion, and the kids cheered for them. Then, they came back home to the Estate.
Nico: Hey, big guy, how was your date?
Lincoln: It was so awesome, Nico. We went to Pinna Park in the world of Mario for some family fun.
Nico: Pinna Park? Oh wow, that's awesome. You guys definitely had some fun there, including the kids.
Thunder Sparkle: We sure did have fun, Uncle Nico.
Me: Next time, you should also invite your siblings and your parents to head to Pinna Park.
Lincoln: Good idea, J.D., and next time, we'll head for Dairy Land in Gotham Royal York, I heard that they made a ton of improvements to it, and added some new rides.
Lily Loud: I heard about that from Clyde, Liam, Rusty, Zach, and Stella, this should be good. And did anyone find out who threw that spear at Thunderclap during Lincoln's rescue this morning?
Nico: No, I don't think so, Lily.
?: (Strong and Deep Voice) Actually, I can answer that for you, that was from me.
We turned around, and we saw who it was that threw that spear at Thunderclap, it was an immortal caveman version of Lincoln, he is 21 years old, but in reality, he's lived for over 35,000 years, he has long wild white hair going down to the bottom of his neck, fine hair covering his abnormally massive and powerful forearms, and chest hair covering the middle of his abnormally massive and powerful wide pecs, black stubble covering the sharp jawline of his face, tanned skin, deep sapphire blue eyes, and rows of straight teeth, he is very tall at 7'0" in height, he has abnormally massive and powerful upper and lower body muscles and eight-pack abs, an orange loincloth around his muscular waist and held up by a belt, and brown leather boots with fur trim around the ankles. When we saw him, we were awestruck.
Nico: (Amazed) Whoa, no way.
Me: (Amazed) An immortal caveman version of Lincoln, that's awesome.
Arlene Montgomery: You said it, J.D.
Lincoln: (Amazed) Incredible, and it's an honor to meet you.
Lincoln 4: You too, Lincoln.
Lori Loud: So, you were the one who threw that spear, which impaled Thunderclap in his stomach?
Lincoln 4: That's correct, Lori. Sorry about that.
Laney: That's okay, but thank you for the assistance, Lincoln 4.
Lincoln 4: You're welcome, Laney.
Lincoln: What can you tell us about yourself, Lincoln 4?
Lincoln 4: Well, I can tell you that my story's just as similar as J.D.'s immortal caveman self, Arlene Montgomery, Vandal Savage, and K'Rull the Eternal, but, I'd lived for over 35,000 years, and during that time, I've hunted and scavenged the land for food and survival, but one day, a meteor crashed into the land, and my curiosity had got to me as I went up to it. Then, I was suddenly bathed in its powerful energy, and it changed me forever, and for the last 35,000 years, I've wandered the land, and I've seen many of history's events play out throughout that time, and I've also trained in the arts of combat, and I've fought against many brave warriors, but I've also seen the pain and suffering of all those around me. So, I dedicated myself to protecting the innocent, and that's what I've done for the last 35,000 years.
We were amazed by his history.
Nico: (Amazed) Whoa.
Lincoln: You said it, Nico, that's incredible that you've seen the events of history throughout those 35,000 years that you've lived.
Lincoln 4: But, immortality does also have a price: those I've met had died, but I wouldn't give into despair and sadness, I decided to keep their memories alive in my heart.
Me: Nice one.
Lincoln 4: And there's also another reason why I'm also here: I'm here to merge with Lincoln, and I'm also going to help him throughout his journey.
Lincoln: That's the same thing that Lincoln 2, my counterpart/ancestor from 250 trillion years ago, and Lincoln 3, my counterpart who's a member of The Alliance of Light, have said.
Lincoln 2: (Through the Rainbow Thunderbird on Lincoln's forehead) And we'd be honored to have you join us.
Lincoln 3: (Through the Rainbow Thunderbird on Lincoln's forehead) And we're ready for you to join us, Lincoln 4.
Lincoln 4: Alright, then.
Lincoln 4 turned into a spirit and entered into Lincoln's body, and the 17-year-old, 7'0" tall, white-haired, handsome, and extremely muscular teen's deep sapphire blue eyes glowed brighter, along with the Rainbow Thunderbird with gold lightning bolt on his forehead, and we felt a massive power boost coming from Lincoln, and his rainbow energy aura with elemental forces had flared up to such an extreme level, as Lincoln 4 merged with Lincoln. Then, everything had settled down.
Lincoln: Whoa, now that was a rush.
Then, the Rainbow Thunderbird started glowing.
Lincoln 4: (Through the Rainbow Thunderbird on Lincoln's forehead) Yes, but it worked.
Me: Alright, and now, you three can also communicate and talk with us whenever you want.
Lincoln 2: He's right, and we can also help out Lincoln with any of the creatures that we had faced off against on our journeys, as well.
Nico: Yeah, that's a good idea, and you can also tell us about those creatures, as well.
Lincoln: And the only way to tell which one of my counterparts/ancestors are speaking, the golden lightning bolt on the Rainbow Thunderbird emblazoned on my forehead will change colors. For Lincoln 2: it'll turn neon gold, for Lincoln 3: it'll turn neon blue, and for Lincoln 4: it'll turn neon red.
Me: Just like with the symbol of The Ebonwu Squadron and rainbow phoenix emblazoned on my forehead, along with the emblazoned mythological creatures on the foreheads of Lincoln's siblings, nice.
Suddenly, Lincoln unholstered his massive Sword of Universal Bravery and Elemental Hope from his more wider and more muscular back, and we saw something happen: we saw The Elemental Gems that Lincoln acquired after his rescue in The Hidden Sand Village have appeared, and now, they are embedded around the symbols of the elemental forces of Fire, Ice, Water, Wind, Lightning, Earth, Light, Darkness, Crystals, Wood, Metal, Stars, Time, Gravity, and Magic.
Lincoln: Whoa.
Nico: Just like with the Infinity Stones that are inside J.D.'s sword, the Elemental Gems that you acquired after your rescue in The Hidden Sand Village are now embedded in your massive sword, Lincoln. Now, that's awesome.
TLPS Mr. Wolf: The villains are going to be in for one nasty surprise if Lincoln faces them.
Lincoln: That's right, those irredeemable by their actions will soon face judgement by my hand, and their souls will burn forever in eternal damnation.
Lincoln raised his improved massive Sword of Universal Bravery and Elemental Hope, and lightning struck down behind him, along with the elemental forces of Fire, Ice, Water, Wind, Lightning, Earth, Light, Darkness, Crystals, Wood, Stars, Time, Gravity, and Magic around a Phoenix, Thunderbird, Buffalo, and Angel. We were amazed by the display behind Lincoln.
Me: Holy crap.
Nico: Now, that's what I call one awesome display.
Lincoln holstered his new and improved massive Sword of Universal Bravery and Elemental Hope on his more wider, burly, and more muscular back.
The Mascots and the Trinity of Violence were in the living room.
Poromon: Alright, you guys, I got eight more crates of ipecac from Quagmire's house after we killed him. Now whoever goes the longest without puking gets the last slice of pizza in the fridge. [Poromon, Poliwag, Manaphy, and Horsea drink the bottles] Okay, here we go.
Lynn: I got a bad feeling about this.
Lori: Me too.
Poliwag: But I'm happy that Nico won the Fry Cook Games.
Manaphy: Me too.
Poromon: FYI, that slice of pizza was from one of the ones that Francesca made for us yester-HULLLEEEEEEEEEEEEEHHHHHH!
Poliwag: Ooh, one down, I know someone who won't be having any...BLEEEEHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
Manaphy: I'm startin' to feel funny.
Horsea: Well, I feel fine, I guess I'm gonna...HUHLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEHHHHHHHHHHHH!
Manaphy: Oh, boy! That means I win! I get to eat...HULEEEEEEEEEEEHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
They were puking all over the place!
Lori: OH MAN!
Lynn: NOT GOOD!
Poliwag: LEEEEEEEHHHHHHHH! Oh...Oh, God, why didn't anybody tell me...HULLLLLLLEEEEEEEEEEEEHHHHHHHHH!
Poromon: Oh, my God, my insides are on fir...LEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEHHHHHH!
Poliwag: No, please...no more...no more, no...LEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEHHHHHHHHHHHH!
Manaphy: Poromon, I'm scared! GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAALLLLLL!
Lynn: YOU GUYS SHOULD NOT HAVE DONE THIS!
Lola: YEAH IT WAS A REALLY STUPID IDEA!
Horsea: Get the phone! Call nine-one-on...HULEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEHHHHH!
Poromon: Lola! Lynn! Lori! Please get Nico in here...HULEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEHHHHHH!
Horsea: Okay. I think it's all gone. I think it's...HULEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEHHHH!
Poliwag: I don't wanna, I don't wanna...HULLLLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEHHH!
Lori: FOR PETES SAKE STOP VOMITING ALREADY!
Lola: YEAH!
Lois Griffin: Who wants Chowder?
Lois came in with a pot of chowder.
Nico: HOLY MOTHER OF GOD! WHAT HAPPENED HERE?!
Poromon, Poliwag, Manaphy, and Horsea: HUUULLLLLLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEHHH!
Me: Oh god not this again!
Nico: Cleanup on aisles 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11 and 12!
We got to cleaning up the vomit.
Me: You guys were having an ipecac drinking contest for the last piece of Francesca's pizza!?
Riku: Not this again! I had to learn that the hard way with that piece of pie.
Nico: Guys I know Francesca's pizza is good but you should never have an Ipecac drinking contest for it.
Me: It is good stuff though. Francesca's pizza.
Nico: Poromon, I'm not banning you from beer. But I AM banning you from ipecac unless it's an emergency!
Me: That's right. This stuff is dangerous and it has caused a lot of problems in the past. Where did you even get this much ipecac anyway?
Poromon: We found it in Quagmire's house.
Nico: Figures.
May: (to the Trinity of Violence) Thanks for not drinking any ipecac.
Lori: We literally don't even like the stuff.
Nico: Yeah that stuff is dangerous.
Me: It sure is.
Qin: But it's just absolutely stupid that Peter, Chris, Brian and Stewie would even do something like that before.
Nico: Yeah no kidding.
Georgina: If you guys need me, I'll be bonding with Cody.
Nico: Okay Georgina. Have fun.
Me: Yep.
Nico: Lets head for the Park. The Ed's have something they want to show us.
Me: Good idea.
Maria: Can me and May go with Georgina and Cody?
Nico: Go for it.
May: Thanks.
Nico: You're welcome.
Me: Have fun guys.
We were off.
Nico: So, Eddy. What do you, Double D, and Ed want to show us?
Eddy: You're going to see.
Drumroll began.
[A sign reading "Cirkus Eds" is hung on the swingset. Eddy pops up in front of it.]
Eddy: "Ladies and germs!" [The kids are sitting in some makeshift bleachers.] "The moment you've been waiting for, Circus Eds is proud to present, all the way from Reno, the one, the only, the Flying Eduardo Brothers!"
[Jonny claps as Nazz yawns.]
Me: This looks interesting.
Ed: "You've got them in the palm of your hand, Eddy!"
Eddy: "Follow my lead, boys." [He leaps down from his friends' heads.] "Hup hup!" [He stands on his head.] "Hip!" [Eddy returns to earth.] "Ho ho!"
Ed: "Zippety do-dah!" [He spins only to face plant on the ground.]
CRASH!
Edd: "Um...knit one, perl two?" [He does jumping jacks without jumping.]
Rolf: "Why is Double-D Ed-boy calling the Chestnut Elves?"
Sarah: "This stuff stinks!"
Kevin: "Snoresville!"
Ed: "Okay, um. Watch this, little sister." [Ed throws his friends in the air. He catches them on his feet and proceeds to juggle them using just his feet.] "I saw this on TV." [The kids cheer, and Edd and Eddy land on one end of the teeter-totter.]
Edd: "My, how athletic!"
Me: Boy that was very acrobatic.
Nico: Not bad.
Eli: Yeah.
Ed: "Hi dee ho!"
[Ed is perched at the top of a very tall slide.]
Eddy: "Thattaboy, Ed!"
Kevin: "The dork is toast!"
Ed: "Toast?"
Eddy: "Hup hup."
Edd: "No no!"
Ed: "Hup hup!" [He leaps off the slide and plunges towards the ground.]
Jonny: "Nice form, huh Plank?"
Jimmy: "Jeepers."
Nazz: "He's dropping like a rock!"
CRASH!
[Ed hits the teeter-totter and plows straight through it, carving a hole in the playground. He pops his head out.]
Ed: "Ob-la-di, ob-la-da."
Edd: "Twinge, hurt, bruise, sting!"
Me: That must've hurt.
Kevin: Eddy, you know this gonna end badly like last time, right?
Eddy: We know.
Me: I thought they did a great effort though.
Nico: Ed was really acrobatic.
Eli: He sure was.
Rolf: Try something else Ed boys.
The kids left.
Eddy: "Hey, wait! We still gotta shoot Ed out of a cannon!"
Ed: [scanning the skies] "Guys?"
Edd: "Fortunate for us they didn't ask for a refund, Eddy."
Eddy: "Like they'd get it." [The other half of the seesaw collapses under him.]
Me: That's got to hurt.
Edd: "We'll need it in order to pay a repairman to fix this teeter-totter."
Lana: No worries Double D. I got this.
Lana went and fixed the Teeter-Totter good as new.
Eddy: "Double D! You're a genius. Everything breaks sooner or later. And we can fix it! For a token fee of course."
Ed: [still believing the stunt worked] "Guys?"
Edd: "I'm tired, Eddy. Couldn't we just–"
Eddy: "Nope." [He carries Edd away.]
Ed: "Eddy? Double D? Stop fooling around and fall down, guys!"
Nico: Come on Ed.
I pulled him out of the ground.
Meanwhile, Georgina, May, Cody and Maria were walking around the city.
May: Thanks for letting me and Maria go with you and Cody, Georgina.
Georgina: Anytime. This is gonna be fun.
Cody Burns: Where are we going?
Georgina: To the mall.
Maria: Awesome! I hope we run into more gene-slammers.
May: That would be cool.
Maria: Georgina, you know that if you wear clothes that aren't the ones that transformed with you the other day, they're gonna rip, right?
Georgina: Yes I do know that and it's crazy.
Maria: Yeah it sure is.
Cody Burns: If I got gene-slammed I would want to turn into a Phoenix.
Maria: A phoenix Gene-Slammer. That would be awesome to see.
May: A very interesting idea.
Maria: It sure is.
May: How does it feel to be the first Underground Girl to transform during a special mission?
Georgina: It feels really awesome. The power it had was awesome and amazing.
May: The power is amazing.
Cody Burns: It was awesome. Morocco got what he deserved.
Maria: You got that right.
We were walking around the neighborhood.
William: Remind me what we're doing with these tools?
Me: We're trying to find a bunch of things to repair and fix for people.
Nico: It's interesting.
Eli: Yeah.
We went to Jimmy's house.
[Jimmy looks into an oven where some sailor-shaped cookies are baking.]
Jimmy: "Yummy, my sailor cookies are perfectly baked and ready for dunking." [He tries to pull the oven door open.] "What's this?" [Jimmy heaves at the door.] "It's stuck!" [Smoke comes from inside the oven.] "My cookies! S.O.S.! Mayday! Man the lifeboats!"
Eddy: [kicking Jimmy's door open] "No joke when it's broke, don't be blue, let Ed's Quick Repair Service fix it and you won't sue!"
Edd: "You should have hired someone to fix that rhyme, Eddy. Sheesh."
Luan: I thought it was a good rhyme and really awesome.
Me: It sure was.
Ed: "I smell cookies! Yum yum yum!"
Me: We'll fix it for you Jimmy.
Eddy: Yeah we'll fix it.
Jimmy: "Anything, just name it! Fix my oven, Eddy!"
Eddy: "You'll have to wait downstairs. Insurance stuff, you know." [He pushes Jimmy out and looks at the oven.] "Yep. It's broken alright."
Me: Hmm. Lets see. Must be a locking mechanism.
Edd: "Very good, Eddy. Now that you've unraveled the riddle, how do you plan to–" [A hollow bang comes.] "Eddy, no! Ed, stop!" [Eddy and Ed are bashing the oven with various pieces of furniture.]
Jimmy: [hearing the noise] "Laborers scare me."
Edd: "HOLD IT! Can I interject? Call me crazy, but if we start by turning off the–"
Me: I got it.
I turned it off and the oven cooled down.
Me: There.
Nico: That did the trick.
Eddy: Okay. So, maybe we're not good at fixing things.
Me: But you are good at BUILDING things.
Eddy: That's true.
Nico: At least we fixed Jimmy's oven.
We pulled out Jimmy's sailor cookies.
Nico: A little burned not too bad.
Jimmy: Do you all want any?
Me: I'll try one.
He dipped a sailor cookie in chocolate and we tried them and they were delicious.
Nico: Mmm! Delicious.
Me: Good cookies.
Jimmy: They are delicious. Also Nico congratulations on winning the Fry Cook Games.
Nico: Thanks Jimmy. That was so fun.
Pinkie Pie: It sure was fun!
Eddy: These are nice cookies. But now, what are we supposed to fix?
Nico: We'll find something.
We got to searching.
Back at the mall Maria and the group were shopping around the mall. Also they had lots of bags full of awesome things.
Cody Burns: So many bags.
Georgina: We love to shop Cody.
May: Huh? Hey look there.
They saw 5 girls all wearing different color versions of the same outfits they have on and then they turned into VALKYRIES!
Maria: Whoa! Those girls are Valkyries!
Maria pulled out 5 Duel Monster Cards: Valkyrie Dritte, Erda, Brunhilde, Zweite and Erste.
Maria: Awesome! They turned into the 5 Valkyries of Valhalla from Duel Monsters.
May: That is cool. And they are going after those robbers that hit that jewelry store. Lets help them out.
Georgina: They must be Gene-Slammers. Lets go.
They went to get the robbers.
And smashed them down and tied them up.
Georgina: Hey there! And how's your day been today?
Valkyrie Brunhilde: Wow Georgina Montgomery, Maria Rockell and May Chan. It's an honor.
They reverted back.
Dritte: Same here. Thank you for helping us apprehend these rapscallions.
Brunhilde: Oh sorry we should introduce ourselves. We are the Valkyrie Quintuplets. I'm Brunhilde and these are my sisters Dritte…
Dritte: Charmed.
Brunhilde: Erda…
Erda: Pleasure to meet you all.
Brunhilde: Zweite…
Zweite: Hey there.
Brunhilde: And Erste.
Erste: Awesome to meet you.
Georgina: Same here. Oh this is Cody Burns. He just joined the team yesterday.
Brunhilde: Pleasure to meet you.
May: It's so awesome that you're named after the great Valkyries of Valhalla.
Maria: You're also awesome Duel Monsters.
Maria showed the cards to them.
Brunhilde: That is so cool that we have the powers of Duel Monsters.
Maria: When did you girls get Gene Slammed?
Brunhilde: We got gene-slammed last week and we became fully powered in just 3 days. We came to a really big understanding.
Maria: And I love your matching clothes. They go great with your hair.
Erste: Thanks Maria.
May: You would make awesome additions to J.D.'s harem. And you would be perfect in a team for our friend Thor.
Brunhilde: We're glad you think so. And it would be an awesome honor to be helpers of the great God of Thunder.
Back with us I sneezed.
Me: (SNEEZES)
Nico: Bless you.
Me: Someone must be talking about me.
Jonny: [offscreen] "Aah! Eee! Oooh! Aaah!" [He falls out of the tree by which the Eds have congregate, and his head gets wedged between two branches.] "I did it again, huh, Plank?"
Eddy: "Climbing trees again, Jonny boy?"
Jonny: "Give me a hand, guys, I'm stuck!"
Me: Geez this must happen to you a lot Jonny.
Nico: I'll get you out of there.
Nico flew up and pulled the branches apart and freed him.
Jonny: Whew! Thanks Nico.
Nico: Jonny, do you know anything we can fix?
Jonny: As a matter of fact I got a small leak in my faucet.
Nico: Lets go take a look.
We went into Jonny's house.
We went into the kitchen and looked for the leak.
Nico: Hmm. Looks like the sink is okay.
Suddenly we felt a rumble.
Ed: Here it comes! [He pulls the plumbing from the walls.] "Weird bottle, huh?"
Eddy: "What, again? Ed, you're a–"
Nico: ED! YOU ARE CRAZY!
Edd: [very worried] "Sick, I think I'm gonna be sick. We don't have the proper tools to fix this!"
Eddy: [barely keeping calm] "It's under control, relax. We've got the ultimate tool."
Nico: Let me fix that!
Lana: I'll help.
Nico and Lana got to work and fixed the entire plumbing good as new.
Nico: There. Better and awesome.
Lana: Good job Nico.
[The sound of an engine firing up is heard, and Edd and Eddy gasp. Ed has collected the spare plumbing.]
Ed: "Can I build a birdhouse with this stuff?"
Edd: "Ed? Where did you eviscerate that heat radiator from?"
Ed: "There." [He points at a pipe which is spewing steam.]
Edd: "Oh dear! Quick, do something, shut it off!"
Nico: WHEW! Man is it hot.
Ed: "Boy, it is hot in here. Are you hot, Eddy? Sweat is trickling down my neck."
Eli: Me too. Feels good.
Edd: "I'm melting. It's becoming a sauna in here."
Eddy: "A sauna! That's it! A spa! Why fix things when we can fix people? Sauna, sweat, and makeovers! Cashola in the bank-ola!"
Nico: A spa it is.
William: I've got a bad feeling about this.
Nico: Me too.
Later they got to work.
[A wooden sign is hung on the tree.]
Sarah: "Cheaz La Sweet? What's that?"
Jimmy: "That's 'Shae La Sweat,' Sarah. Sweat's good for your skin! C'mon, let's cleanse our pores!"
Sarah: [following Jimmy in] "Sweat stinks."
[Jimmy walks up to the door. Before he can open it, Eddy throws it open.]
Eddy: "Mon grate, welcome to Cheaz La Sweat!"
Jimmy: "Hey Eddy."
Eddy: "Comon vu, au grauton? Look, see, la facial! And the grand piece of resistance, la sauna!"
Jimmy: "My dream come true!"
Nico: (French Accent) Oui oui we have a great selection of spa treatments for you all.
Eddy: "Cough up la fifty cents, oui oui?"
Jimmy: "Yes yes!"
Eli: (French Accent) Grab towels over there.
Sarah: "Lovely, thank you."
Edd: "Freshly laundered towels, only twenty-five cents!" [Sarah and Jimmy each go by but leave no money.] "Um, each?"
Sarah: "This better be good."
Jimmy: "Fancy."
Ed: "Come again!" [He is tied to a support beam and acting as a towel rod.]
Eddy: "Any damage? What'd ya break, Ed?"
Ed: "I've been a good towel rack, Eddy."
Eddy: "I know you have, Lumpy. Let's just make sure you stay good." [He tightens the knots binding Ed in place.]
Nico: Lets hope Ed doesn't break anything.
Edd: "Okay then. You've ordered our Stately package. The opulent hair treatment for Jimmy, and the exfoliating facial for Sarah." [He puts an applicator in a jar of peanut butter.]
Sarah: "What's that stuff?"
Edd: "A secret blend of organic minerals to help that haggard skin."
[Eddy grabs the jar and pours the whole spread onto Sarah's face.]
Edd: "Seems efficient."
Sarah: "Hey, my skin feels tingly-tingle!"
Jimmy: "I told you, Sarah!" [A glob of peanut butter lands on his curls.] "Be gentle."
Eddy: [working the spread in] "One baguette, hold the mayo!" [He shapes Jimmy's curl into a horn.]
Jimmy: [admiring his new look] "It's so brave! I love it!"
Eddy: "Next, La Sauna! Double D?" [kicks the chair and knocks Sarah and Jimmy off]
Edd: [escorting them in] "Mind your heads, please. La Sauna cleans and purifies the skin." [He pulls back a shower curtain and shows them into another area.] "You have company."
[Inside are Kevin, Rolf, and Nazz.]
Rolf: "Close the curtain, as it is colder than my Nana's wooden leg!"
Edd: "Um, Sorry, Rolf. Room for two?" [Sarah and Jimmy enter.]
Sarah: "Jimmy?"
Edd: "Relax and enjoy." [He exits.]
Nico: Have a good relaxing time.
Rolf: "This hot steam makes Rolf's flesh shed tears of impurity. Aah."
Sarah: [lifts her hand off Rolf's sweat] "Yuck!"
Nazz: "My pores are screaming."
[Rolf turns the steam up and stands in front of it.]
Rolf: "Ooh! Aah! Fresh! Ha ha!"
[Rolf's towel falls off.]
WHOOPS!
[Edd is pacing outside the sauna.]
Jimmy: [from inside the sauna] "How embarrassing!"
Nazz: [leaping out] "Rolf, you're so gross!"
Jimmy: [comes out with Sarah] "Run away!"
Kevin: "You're on your own, dude!" [laughs]
Eddy: [confused] "Can somebody tell me what's going on?"
Rolf: [opening the sauna curtains] "I must protest the rudeness of your guests!"
Me: What happened?
Edd: "What just happened?" [He sees the naked Rolf and hides under his hat.] "Make yourself decent, Rolf!"
Nico: MY EYES BURN!
Mandy: I'm blind!
Eli: PUT SOME CLOTHES ON ROLF!
Eddy: "You're scaring the customers away, Rolf! Put your towel on!"
CRASH!
[Ed bursts through the wall, the beam still tied to him.]
Ed: "Towel rack at your service!"
Eddy: "Now look what you did!"
Edd: [peeking from under his hat] "I can't bear to look. Has Rolf–IS THAT THE SUPPORT BEAM TO THE HOUSE?!"
Ed: "What's a support beam?"
Me: Uh oh.
Eli: Not good.
[The house begins to shake.]
Edd: "This has been quite a day..."
[The house develops cracks all over its structure and collapses in upon itself.]
KRASMASH!
I formed a force field around us and protected us as the house collapsed. The whole house was completely destroyed.
Nico: WHOA! What a mess!
Kevin: I don't know what's been more crazy. The mascots throwing up because of ipecac or what just happened.
Nico: Tell me about it. But don't worry we can fix this.
Me: Just leave this to me.
I snapped my fingers and I fixed the house and made it better than ever.
Jonny 2X4: Thanks J.D.
Me: You're welcome Jonny.
We had a crazy day but it was really eventful. I was introduced to the Valkyrie Quintuplets and they were amazing Gene-Slammers and more. The Mascots learned a really hard lesson today. Georgina and friends got a lot of awesome stuff at the mall too. We enjoyed the rest of the day and went to sleep after having a really fun day after such an awesome adventure in Maine.
THE END
Another awesome adventure done.
This was a really great chapter. The episode Rent An Ed from Ed Edd N Eddy is one of my favorite and really funny episodes of the shows second season. It was so awesome and funny. The sister episode it had Shoo Ed made me laugh so hard that I wet my pants. The episode aired on August 18th, 2000 and it was so funny. The first part of this chapter was a land version of the awesome SpongeBob episode The Fry Cook Games and that was in every way like the Olympics. And the Olympics just ended last week and they were awesome. The Fry Cook Games are for where the best restaurants compete in an awesome Olympics style competition and it was awesome and funny. First ever time we did this on Land and I think it's awesome. The episode aired on September 28th, 2001 and it was awesome and as you all recall I did a Fry Cook Games chapter in honor of the Creator of SpongeBob, Stephen Hillenburg who died of A.L.S. in 2018 and that was a sad day for all the crew of SpongeBob. The second part was for the 2015 movie The Good Dinosaur and that was a really great movie. I never saw it but it was a great movie that took place in a time where the Chicxulub Extinction Event didn't happen and that was really cool. That was an awesome movie though. The opening scene was based on the Family Guy part where Peter, Stewie, Chris and Brian drank Ipecac and threw up left and right all because they were going for the last piece of pie in the fridge. So gross, stupid and funny. NicoChan11, JediAvatarOfShinobi, Omegahatchiyak12, XP4Universe, Darkhai, vinjedi1995, Drako1234658, Nflemingful, Etstheclarencefan and ninjakingofhearts gave me the ideas for this and so did the guest reviewer. Thanks guys. Nico's next rescue is gonna be in the Dragonball Z movie Cooler's Revenge and that is gonna be interesting as Nico faces Frieza's brother Cooler who is gonna be out for revenge on Nico for him killing Frieza. Also Nico, me and Ash & Pikachu are going to face him and it's gonna be an awesome and EXPLOSIVE Rescue as they also meet a Dermochea Gene-Slammer. Dermochea is the natural predator of the Amperi and they look like electrified Loggerhead Sea Turtles. Her name is Natalia Denchikov and she is from Estonia and went to Nico's Geography and history classes. The next rescue for Lincoln is gonna be in Canterlot High School and Lincoln and his group are going to face Abacus Cinch and show her how wrong she is hurting Twilight the way she did and if possible recruit her into the M.O.E. Also they are going to meet a Megarock Dragon Gene-Slammer named Chloe Nottingham from England and she is going to reveal how she stopped Lola do one of the worst things ever during the Exercise Scene. Also the next chapter, get ready to laugh your heads off as we do another humiliation session against Flip, Lewis Travolta, Billy McLean, Sammy's former evil sister Amy and another awesome guest we have coming to endure the torture. It's a surprise.
See you all tomorrow.
