oOo


Chapter Fourteen

Deviant


All warfare is based on deception,


but,


there are but very few men clever enough to know all the mischief they do.

Francois de la Rochefoucauld


oOo

Zechs regrets his life choices - Odin's too busy making fun of his own to bother with regret, and it's making Marlé want to laugh and cry at the same time. Relena opens her circle of trust a little, though that maybe could have been planned a little better... and Jake is overly intent on procrastinating his self-fulfilled prophesy of doom.

oOo


Edits:

Okay, so we've got the first chapter that, on the edit, I actually caved and split – in part because 52 pages is a ridiculous length for a single chapter, but in the end of the day, mostly because there was a major shift in tone and theme partway through, and separating it helped the pacing of the story overall. I had a lot of help from my primary beta, Big Fisch, both for the original work/organization of the monster chapter, as well as now with helping me find a good way to break it and still improve the story.


oOo


September 1st 198 – Monday – Munich, Germany – Sarracenia

"And then we found her calm as could be, having tea in the galley. She said she hadn't wanted to bother anyone."

Jake bit the inside of his cheek to keep his laughter contained, then shook his head at Illian when the man shot him a questioning look, moving towards the kitchen. "Well, think of it this way," he muttered into the mic. "She's showing you security flaws to fix."

"She's playing with my security," Zechs half snarled. "She managed to get a badge off one of my colonels for computer access and rearranged and renamed nearly a terabyte of data."

…He really missed Leia. She'd always had a flair for creativity that he couldn't help but admire. If she'd tried to delete things, she would have probably run into access problems. That, and they would have called the newer files a complete loss – this way, they knew they had critical data in their files, and had to take the time to find it.

"Then she had the nerve to tell me that it had made barely any sense before, and that she hadn't been able to find anything worthwhile."

And because the access code she'd managed to get was fairly high ranking, Jake was pretty sure that a good chunk of those files would be classified; meaning they couldn't put some grunt to work opening everything and figuring out what it was.

"One of the new primary folders is named Chartreuse."

Jake bit his lip hard.

"I didn't even know what that was. I had to look up it up," Zechs ranted on. "It's the name of a color!"

He'd known that, actually. He wasn't sure why and he couldn't remember what shade it was, but he'd known it was a color. Grinning broadly, he launched himself up the pantry stairs two at a time and palmed his way into Relena's office. The princess wasn't inside, but he could hear water running in the bathroom; he probably had around twenty minutes before she was ready to work. Plenty of time, he mused, turning to his desk area and grabbing his laptop before throwing himself on one of the couches.

He appreciated the idea of the desk, really, but only in the organizational sense. He'd never managed to actually stay sat in front of one for more than an hour; even back when he'd had an office in Brussels, his desk had been there more so people had a place to drop papers for him than a functional work surface.

He shook his head as the prince continued to vent, listing off a few other incidents in detail. At first, it had been constant complaints about the people around her, or her accommodations, the food. Then, having used up the classic objections, she had started to get inventive.

He didn't have the heart – or hate of his eardrums – to remind the man that it had only been three days. He knew for a fact that Zechs had only discovered the tip of the iceberg. He seemed to be under the mistaken impression that he could sate her whims and she'd agree to being a high maintenance prisoner, once she'd had her pound of flesh. He didn't seem to understand that those first three days? Leia was simply testing the waters.

There had been reasons Dekim avoided seeing his daughter for years at a time.

Still, for the sake of everyone who was on a space shuttle with Zechs and couldn't hang up on him, he continued to listen and make appropriate noises periodically while he wrote up a few documents, organized a couple folders, and checked Hayden's numbers on the latest crop reports. He didn't really expect to find any mistakes – and he didn't – but it was habit, and it couldn't hurt to be careful.

In so many ways he felt like he was losing control of the projects he'd started with Relena, and babysitting the results made him feel a little less out of the loop. He actually hadn't wanted to give up his 'personal assistant' position however much he'd complained about it, but it had been beyond feasible for a while, and, well… He acknowledged that he had control issues.

Control issues. If that isn't a fucking understatement…

"Aa, she does that," he was muttering in a conciliatory tone when Relena came in. Glancing up at the clock, he raised his brows when he realized that he had seriously burned almost half an hour on the phone since coming upstairs… and Zechs was still going strong.

That was impressive, even for Leia. He wasn't sure he'd ever seen the man this annoyed.

The woman had talent.

"Hey, Zechs? I'm sorry to cut this short, but weren't you already saying she did something that was killing your bandwidth?" Relena frowned slightly, and he rolled his eyes before gesturing at the paperwork on the coffee table, specifically pointing to the things that needed her signature. "I'd offer to help, but we're not hooked into the mainframe from here." He had designed a security net far better than what the Regime insisted on using when they moved; it had been an excellent excuse to cut ties and make his life easier. Securing Relena's work without altering Zechs' system back when they were in his base had been a nightmare. "Someone in Brussels should be able to sort it out, if no one out with you can."

The other man made an irritated noise. "I can't."

"Uh…" He raked his brain for some reason for that, and came up empty. "Why not?"

"She broke into my phone the other night," he seethed. "And among other things, replaced the numbers for my direct lines to different departments in Brussels with her local L2 pizza parlors."

He bit his lip and shook, he was trying so hard not to laugh. Yeah… it wouldn't look very good if someone found out about that. And since those were private, secure lines for Marquise's personal use alone, no one else would know them.

It would also look a few steps beyond weak to have to own up to just how he'd lost them. "That's…"

Relena was frowning in concern now. "Jake?"

"I'll see what I can do about that," Jake decided quickly. "I've got to go, call you back." He'd barely hit the end call button before he started to crack up.

oOo


oOo

September 3rd 198 – Wednesday – Berlin, Germany

Marlé frowned, biting her lip as she considered the pros and cons…

"This isn't an RPG. There's no secret treasure if you take a certain path."

She scowled, refusing to look up, tucking her hair back behind her ear. "That's not what I'm doing," she argued.

"Then why is it taking so long?"

"I dunno, maybe I've never done this before?" She tapped the route she'd penciled in. "This way has more places for us to hide."

Odin walked over to lean over her shoulder. "It also doesn't take us to half of the places we need to go."

Marlé rolled her eyes. "It's not half. And besides, your map sucks, a couple of the places you listed aren't even on there. You could've told me that they were secret bases, you know."

Her brother gave her a very level, 'Why are you making stuff up?' look. "This is not a video game."

"It kinda is when you only give me part of the data!"

He made an annoyed sort of noise. "Which ones are you having a hard time finding?"

She rolled her eyes before handing back the list he'd given her when he said she got to try figuring out their route. It seriously wasn't half; only three of the twelve locations were circled because she couldn't figure out where the hell they were. She'd kinda thought it was a test – you know, see if she could tell when he was bullshitting – but apparently she'd totally read that wrong. So she just crossed her arms when he reached around her to type up a search for the coordinates, and felt rather smug when he came up with no results, just like she had.

"Hn." She gave him an annoyed look, and he shrugged. "Point taken, you win." He frowned. "But I'm not remembering this wrong."

"You're sure?" Not that she really doubted his crazy good memory, but… It was a jumble of numbers and sometimes something had to give.

"I lived there for five years."

Well, there goes that theory. "What about the other two?"

In the end, it turned out that one of the ones she hadn't been able to find was only on a construction database because it was just an asteroid without any active mining work, too small to be of much value. The third had been retitled, so it popped up for the coordinates he put in, but hadn't responded to her search based on the names Odin had given her.

Which left the only place where Odin had ever lived for longer than a couple months. Which really should've been easier, all things considered. "Um… news reels?" she suggested. After all, it was pretty rare, but sometimes a colony would drift out of its orbit; and it was always on the news, because they had to decide if it was safe enough where it was, or if it needed to be moved back.

Odin's frown deepened as he opened up a page on the news networks and started a search for the colony by name, then froze. "Oh."

"Huh?" He hadn't even opened one of the links – only the URL and the date showed on this screen.

"It's gone," he admitted, letting out a sigh. Shaking his head, he shrugged, closing the window. "Well, at least there wasn't anything important there."

"What do you mean, it's gone?" She narrowed her eyes. "And didn't you have stuff there that you wanted?" This is the colony he was texting me about while he was in South America, isn't it?

"It was Wing Zero's first casualty," he noted dismissively. "And it was just a curiosity."

Uh… Huh. A handful of space structures had disappeared over the course of the war; she'd known that. Two colonies, a couple resource satellites, and, if she remembered right, at least one free space station, not to mention the stuff like Barge and the damage caused by battles, or even the debris left from battles where civilian casualties were kept to a minimum.

There were reasons why space had always been pacifistic. Conflict up there caused a lot more problems than it did on Earth, and for all that the planet had been devastated by Libra's fall, L1 and L4 were still trying to mitigate the damage caused by ongoing collisions of pieces of the battleship or dolls that hadn't fallen. It wasn't as severe as what had happened to Earth, and they already had a system in place to handle it, but that didn't make it not a major problem.

But… "Wing Zero?" What did the newer, sometimes hallucinatory gundam have to do with that?

He frowned at her, then tilted his head. "That never made the news, did it?"

Ooookay… Because that isn't ominous. "What never made the news?" She'd been lectured left and right about propaganda campaigns and military history in school, so she wasn't surprised that stuff had been left out, but… She really didn't like where this seemed to be going. There had been that footage of when someone had gotten the bright idea to take Wing Zero into a colony – mind-altering, read: people get stupid with it – but OZ had chased it back out into space with the Mercurius and Vayeate before too much damage was done. There was plenty of footage on the net of the dumb thing romping around a carnival like an overgrown robotic kid.

Odin tapped the colony name on her list. "I hadn't paid attention to which colony it was at the time, but OZ only started to suspect Wing Zero's existence after Quatre destroyed it. It went dark, and when OZ went to investigate, all they found was rubble. Next it was a resource satellite; same thing. We caught up to him before he took down another colony, thankfully."

She felt her eyes round at the news. "Quatre." Sweet, kind-eyed, absurdly strong space-heart Quatre… destroyed an entire colony. Space-hearts were rare, but she knew enough to recognize the signs; her fifth grade teacher had been one, though not half as strongly as the Winner seemed to be. With how fast and hard he'd reacted to her little emotion surge…

How does he fight at all? Let alone do something like that?

Odin's eyes darkened. "Zero… Some people handle it better than others. But no matter what your affinity, the first run of it is always… traumatic. Though it can be entirely internalized as easily as real."

She stared at him. "Did you just say that everyone goes on a psycho rampage the first time they touch the thing?" she demanded. "I thought it just made people high or something!" In a crazy sensory brain way, or something, like meth or cocaine, only smart like modafinil and computery like Snow Crash.

Not that that didn't sound stupid dangerous enough.

He shrugged slightly. "It's a good rule of thumb to simply point the pilot at someone you don't like if it's their first time with the System."

Her eyes narrowed. "Did you totally lose it too?"

He considered for a moment, tilting his head, before admitting, "In a very focused way."

Of course. When is he not? "What did you do?" She almost didn't want to know, but at the same time…

"I killed an army."

"…An army."

"Not a very large one," he reassured in a distracted tone, eyes faraway. "But the mercenaries I was working with weren't much help. They mostly just got themselves blown up."

"An army." She took a deep breath. "What army?"

He tilted his head again, looking up for a moment, before shrugging once more. "It really didn't seem important at the time."

"…It didn't?"

He gave her an incredulous look. "Mercenaries."

"Why?"

"It seemed like the thing to do at the time."

"Oh my God!" She threw a pen at him – which he dodged easily, grinning. "You're not even screwing with me, are you?" She covered her face with her hands. "Okay. So… Quatre blew up a colony. You took down an army. Zechs did Libra."

"Duo got an army too," he pointed out helpfully.

"Great," she deadpanned. "You're practically twins." He started to laugh. "Anyway-"

"Libra wasn't really Wing Zero," he interrupted, still grinning. "That was Epyon. Actually, my army thing was Epyon too, but… mm. When Sanc fell again, Zechs and I somehow got the idea that we needed to start fighting each other after the battle got called off."

"Uh huh. Because it seemed like the thing to do at the time."

His grin was downright devious now. "Yes. And then I made him trade with me."

"…You what?"

"I took his helmet, told him I was taking Wing Zero," he explained as if it was as simple as going to the store, "and then I left with it."

"And he just let you do this?"

"Well, he didn't stop me."

She glowered at him. "Maybe he was still a little bit sane at that point."

He started to laugh outright.

"Who else was stupid enough to play with this thing?" she demanded after a moment. "I mean, I get that you, at least, got it to work right and not hurt anyone you didn't mean to, but who else tried?"

He frowned at her, somewhat reproving. "Quatre and I had no idea before it was just happening to us," he reminded her. "And Duo was forced; he didn't want to touch it after what Quatre did, but they were holding Hilde's colony hostage until he played test pilot."

She frowned. "Who?"

"Someone with the Treize Faction." He shook his head. "They had the idea that they could figure it out for a while, but after Quatre and I escaped, I think they only tried one trial on their own before deciding they wanted a test subject they didn't care much about."

Marlé wrinkled her nose. Sometimes, people really sucked. "Anyone else?"

"Trowa, out of desperation, once." He pursed his lips. "He seemed to get some of his memory back from that. And Wufei."

"Why did he?"

He shrugged. "I told him to."

She groaned. "Should I even bother asking why?"

His grin was back. "I thought it would help him get his head together."

"…Please tell me you're joking."

"It worked."

"Oh my God."

He was visibly trying to contain laughter now. "I thought you trusted my judgment."

"What did he do?!"

"What he was trying to do?" He looked confused now. "And he knew what he wanted when he came back."

…There was just nowhere to go with that. Sighing, she tried to remember where exactly this conversation had started before Odin took her down the rabbit hole. Failing that… "So, no Zero for Quatre, then. Like, ever. He's the one who encrypted all your little drives, so he'll help us put it all back together, and then that's it?"

Odin frowned at her. "He's fine with it now."

…That really shouldn't have been heart-stopping. "And when, exactly, was take two?" she asked with dread, trying to remember the date of the other total colony demise during the war.

"During Libra; that was how he countered Dorothy."

Okay, that makes at least some sense. "So he wants a copy once we're done too?"

To her surprise, he shook his head. "He doesn't need it anymore. He only used it the first time he outmaneuvered Dorothy's dolls – after that run, he could strategize on that level without activating the System."

Ooookay… And that's even more terrifying. "Can you do that?" she asked warily, just waiting for the next bombshell.

"No."

…She couldn't decide if that counted as a bombshell or not. On the one hand, at least there weren't two people with that kind of ability. On the other… Quatre apparently trumped her brother in more than just art, which was upsetting. Which, logically, made no sense. Odin was awesome, and crazy capable of all sorts of stuff, and was, she was sure, still better than almost everybody at plenty of stuff, but not the best at everything; that'd be nuts. Therefore, there was only one real conclusion she could come to on this news:

Quatre was totally badass. In scary brainpower ways. And empaths might not be in the same league as the crazy sci-fi telepathy crap that didn't really exist, but that didn't make them not dangerous enemies. Especially since the gundam pilot had proven, over and over, that he was fully capable of cleanly, meticulously killing despite constantly feeling his opponents' – his victim's – emotions.

…Holy crap, but Quatre's scary. Really fun, witty, sweet guy… And also utterly terrifying.

And Odin was giving her a confused, mildly concerned look now. She flashed him a smile, and looked back to her list; at the name of a place that no one would ever go again. "So… This was your home base for Operation M?" Looking up, she added, "I mean, before it got Quatre'd?"

His lips twitched, but otherwise he didn't comment on her choice of verb. "It was." He tipped his head to one side. "Before the retraining, at least."

She frowned. "Retraining?" He'd used the word before, but she'd only recently started to realize that he was referring to something specific, not… well, not just some sort of training.

Odin just shrugged again, looking away from her and focusing back on the computer screen. "It wasn't a good time," he noted dismissively. "I try not to think about it."

…Yeah, that was not good – Odin actively enjoyed overthinking every little thing. She had a theory at this point that it was his way of trying to, like, make everything he did more efficient. He was downright obsessive about trying to make sure he never repeated the same mistake, and drilled the same logic into her at every turn.

How bad does something have to be for him to actively not want to think about it?

"Odin?" She almost felt like she shouldn't ask – he'd been trying to get out of talking about it already – but he could always just say so more directly…

"Hm?"

"What was the retraining?"

He went quiet, and Marlé bit her lip, knowing she didn't want to take the question back, but…

"Have you ever been so sad… so upset by what was in front of you, that you couldn't think?" He wasn't looking at her now, just staring off into space.

"…A little bit," she admitted after a moment. "When I landed on Earth." He nodded a little in acknowledgement, but didn't say anything. "I…" She swallowed. "It didn't last very long, though. You showed up."

He smiled gently at that, though his gaze stayed focused off to one side. "I know. That was why I decided to help you." He glanced over at her. "I remembered how that felt." He pursed his lips for a moment, before shaking his head. "I remembered what could happen, if the wrong kind of person found you. Someone who wanted something from you, instead of someone who wanted to help."

He looked away again before continuing. "There was a little girl, once, who gave me a flower. I had just finished planting the explosives to destroy a nearby Alliance facility, and I was taking a little time to myself." He smiled a little. "It was a nice day… And it was the first time I'd been back to L3-X18999 since my father died. It was…" He shrugged uncomfortably. "It had still been under construction when I was there before, and I knew that, but at the same time, I was amazed at how much it had changed; at how beautiful it had become."

He hesitated, then shook his head. "I think, on some level, that I decided that meant that I was doing the right thing. It had been more than five years, and I was back where I had started. I'd followed my emotions when I accepted Dr J's offer to join Operation M, and I had a new sense of focus. I'd mastered things I knew that Odin had never been very good at, like piloting, and… I believed that trying to liberate the colonies was the right thing to do.

"I was thinking about all that, when this little girl walking her puppy came by and asked if I was lost… and when I told her I thought maybe I always had been, she tried to get me to play with her dog." He smiled. "To 'cheer me up'."

He closed his eyes, pausing for a moment before continuing. He looked far more sad, now. "I had time before I set off the charges, so I thought I'd try to find the part of town I'd been in before; to retrace my steps. But I couldn't find anything familiar. I think, between the fire and the fighting that was starting back then, that the whole area was rebuilt."

"It was," Marlé found herself interrupting. "My mom was a big part of it – we lived there, when I was little. She was a volunteer at St. Jude's during the rebellion."

"And she was the first RLTT candidate," Odin finished for her, nodding. "Right." He froze for a moment, then relaxed as he eyed her critically. "You left before 194, though."

The way he said it was obviously not a question, but Marlé nodded anyway. "Mom started medical school just after I turned six, and we left before that, in…" she thought for a moment, "I guess it would have been in 191. So she went to school, and my grandfather hired Meagan and bought the house on L3-X16512, where the good schools were, for me."

Odin nodded again, his eyes faraway. "So… Like I said, I wasn't able to find anything… and I decided that that was closure. That the past didn't have to mean anything for the future."

"But what about now?" Marlé protested. "You've said that so much about what you do now-"

"I am not an assassin."

Marlé snapped her mouth shut as she stared at him, realizing he was scowling.

Odin took a deep breath and closed his eyes, gripping the back of her chair with one hand. "I will never kill someone for something so… pointless as money," he continued in a less harsh tone. "I refuse to kill another person unless I have weighed my reasons and believe it's necessary. I will not be another man's tool again, and I will not bear more lives on my conscience for any reason other than my own."

He dropped his head down so his hair hid his eyes. "I don't understand why my father did it. I doubt I ever will. But I know that he regretted his life enough that he wanted to die. And I know… I know that if people were just a little less patient, a little less remarkable, I would be dead for the same reason as him. If so many of the people I met during the war can be so constant, so forgiving, then no one should have the right to kill a person for something as petty as a paycheck."

Marlé just stared at him, trying to think of something to say. That was probably the most riled up she'd ever seen him get… and what he'd said hurt too. It said a lot of things about what had happened without actually saying them… which was very Odin-like, really.

Swallowing hard and licking her lips, she nodded a little to show that she understood, before tentatively asking, "What happened in 194?"

His grip on her chair tightened and he brought up his free hand to cover his face before speaking. "I miscalculated something. I never found out if it was because I was distracted with the past or if I didn't have all the information I needed, or if it was just bad luck… but when I blew the charges, part of the base toppled into a series of apartment buildings. Those complexes toppled outwards into those near them, and then again…" He took a deep breath, still hiding his face. "In the end, nearly three blocks of the neighboring residential sector collapsed."

Her stomach sunk down into her toes. Oh, Odin… She stood and threw her arms around him. He'd have been what, fourteen? Just a year older than her.

He didn't react to the hug, but she held on anyway as he continued in the same flat tone. "I couldn't stop thinking about the little girl from earlier; she was young enough that she couldn't have been far from home when I'd seen her at a park near the base. I knew what I would find, but I couldn't stop myself from searching."

He stopped and she squeezed him tighter, before he finally said, "I found the dog."

The way he said that, his voice so flat… She felt tears well up and shut her eyes before they could make it out.

"Her hat was there too, and there was rubble all around. I knew, but… I couldn't stop thinking that it was the dog's blood I was seeing – that there wasn't enough to be hers. That she'd gotten away, and I just had to find her." He stopped again, and she could feel a slight tremor start to run through him as he swallowed hard. "I searched for hours. It wasn't until J sent someone after me and they asked what I was doing that I even realized I'd been carrying the dead dog the whole time."

Slowly, almost like he didn't remember how, he brought up his arms and wrapped them around her, leaning a bit of his weight against her. They just stood there for a bit, and she thought that was going to be it. But then, after a minute or so, he started talking again.

"When Dekim heard, he wanted me cut from the program. That that sort of… weakness… was unacceptable. I was… glad. I didn't care that I was in so deep that being removed from the program meant dying. I couldn't stop thinking about what Odin had always said, about how you couldn't live with regret, and to follow my emotions, and all I could think was that there wasn't a way I could live with that kind of mistake. "So I thought it was alright, if they wanted me dead."

Marlé realized that she was shaking now, and that her face was wet, even as she pressed in against the fabric of her brother's shirt. Her grandfather had said he wanted Odin dead… and he hadn't argued? She fisted the back of his shirt in her hands, suddenly understanding why her mother had always shown so much loathing for the man… Because right now? If he wasn't already dead?

She had never felt such hate for anyone, anything, in her life.

"But Dr. J convinced him to drop it," he continued in a quiet voice. "He said he could… fix me. Retrain me to not feel so much. Promised that I would be the best pilot they had ever had by the time he was done.

"By the time Operation M was about to start…" He shifted his weight, almost like a shrug. "I still wanted to die… But I'd gotten it into my head that I couldn't, so long as I still had orders to follow." He rested his head on the top of hers. "And then everyone I met… They all wanted me to live, even when I gave them every excuse not to. And after a while, somehow, it got to be okay again."

Marlé tried to speak, but couldn't; her throat was clogged. Sniffing hard, she tried again. "I'm glad," she managed to choke out.

She felt more than heard his little chuckle. "Me too." He ran one hand up and down her back the way her mom would, and she started to cry harder at the reminder. Then relieved that he didn't stop, she started to wail in earnest.

oOo


oOo

September 5th 198 – Friday – Munich, Germany – Sarracenia – Noon

Hayden jumped when Lin threw the door open, and he knew he wasn't the only one. The normally easygoing bodyguard had his eyes narrowed, and to his dawning horror, he immediately focused on him.

"What's wrong?" he demanded, trying not to stutter.

Lincoln's eyes swept over Illian and Carlisle, and his scowl deepened before he stepped further into the room and made a sharp gesture towards the door. "Out." They scrambled to obey him, and he kicked the door shut as Hayden frantically tried to think of what he could have possibly done to get this reaction.

…There was nothing! This didn't make any sense, and Lin was never like this, so how-

Just as abruptly as he'd burst into the surveillance room, the older man relaxed, slumping his weight back against the door. "Okay."

…What?

He stood back up straight, his normal attitude back in place. "So, real quick, what I need from yo-"

He stumbled forward, arms flailing, as the door was slammed back open as Mailin barreled in. "What are you doing?" she snapped, even as she flung the door shut again behind her. Then she blinked and smiled and Lin, who was scowling at her as he leaned against the table, having caught himself. "Oh, hey! I thought I was doing this part."

The lieutenant rolled his eyes as he stood up straight again. "Lies," he noted in a wry tone. "You're a lying liar who lies."

The Australian woman's pale gray-green eyes sparkled as she eyed him, taking up a thinking pose. "Mm," she considered. "I thought I could get it done faster?"

"Better," Lin allowed. "Conceited, but better."

She snickered. "I'm good at better."

Oh crap. This was another of the major's ploys. He'd avoided getting too deep in her last few attempts to rope him into something crazy, and he'd thankfully managed to miss the strip poker incident entirely, even if Vaughn said Dorothy owned really racy underwear – he hadn't wanted to think about that! – but now she was targeting him directly. And she already had Lin going along with it – which, to be fair, usually happened pretty early in – but once he joined?

She had momentum.

"I'm not doing anything!" he found himself yelling. It came out more squeaky than he hoped, but considering how surprised he was that he'd managed to say it at all, he figured it had to count for something.

Mai snickered, and then she was suddenly across the room and pinning him to the wall, a hand over his mouth. "Not so loud," she ordered conspiratorially. "You'll ruin everything."

"She's lying," Lin noted casually.

"It would be really annoying."

"Well that's more likely, at least."

Hayden knew he was turning red, listening to them bicker about nothing with the major's very female body pressed up against him. He, along with most of the household, was fairly convinced that the two of them were casually sleeping together; but since no one had actually caught them yet and nobody wanted to ask, he just tried to not think about it. But now Lin was locking the door, and Mai was focused on him again – though he knew if he'd tried to break her hold while she was talking, even with the tricks the colonel had taught him, he wouldn't have been able to escape.

Major Mailin Marrakesh didn't lock doors. That was how half the crap she did got out of hand, she never kept any part of her life private, but if Lin was locking the door-

"No one's clothes are coming off!" Really not what he'd meant to say, actually…

Mai frowned faintly. "You're so uptight, you know that? Would it really hurt to relax a little?"

"I'll scream rape!"

"What exactly does he think is going on here?" Lin demanded in an incredulous tone.

"I will!"

"Seriously?" She actually looked perplexed.

"Oh, shit."

"I don't get it," Mai decided.

"He thinks this is a sex thing!" Lin hissed, his ears burning red.

"Well there's an idea…"

"Christ, let the poor kid go, look at him!"

"How was I supposed to do anything without letting him move, though?"

"I'm sure you could think of something if you tried."

She raised one brow, looking between the two of them, still pressing him against the wall. "He's the one who brought it up."

"You're torturing him," Lin protested as he stalked across the room and tried to pull her back.

She snickered and let him, shaking her head. "You're no fun."

"And you're psychotic," Lin informed her in the same tone as he might report the weather as he brushed off Hayden's shoulders and straightened out the creases that had started to form in his shirt. "Calm down."

"We need some of your crazy computer magic on the sly," Mai announced.

Lin's face twisted in an odd expression. "Could you maybe just… leave?"

The woman pointed at him, a disapproving expression on her face. "That's hurtful."

"…So I need you to loop the office feed for at least a fifteen minute cycle, good enough to fool anyone," Lin continued, completely ignoring her. "No one should end up looking, but it needs to either be a decent spoof, or a hell of an accident in here that would explain a massive data loss including the surveillance up there."

Hayden scowled, shoving the guy back. "Why?"

"Because we need to have a private conversation."

Hayden rolled his eyes, not believing it for a moment. "Uh huh. There's nothing capable of picking up audio in the Princess' office, and the cameras in there aren't at any angle you can read lips from." Not to mention the fact that the cameras were only turned on when she had guests from outside the compound.

"But do I actually believe that?" Mai asked ponderously.

"I installed every piece of surveillance equipment in this house," Hayden retorted. Not even Jake knew where they all were. The colonel could guess at most from taking an occasional turn in the guardroom, but he'd also asked for secondary equipment that could be activated in an emergency that had a different set of angles.

No one needed to know about those, though. Not even the colonel knew where or even how many of those devices were installed.

Lin grimaced. "I still need the cameras off."

"To talk."

"…Yes."

Hayden rolled his eyes. Yeah, sure. Now that he knew that he hadn't actually screwed up, he felt a lot more confident. "Where's Jake?"

"Elsewhere," Mai informed him in a chipper tone as she settled her weight back against the desk by him. "And he should stay that way for another forty minutes, so hurry up."

He scowled at her. "Do I come into your office and mess with you?"

"Ooh, but you should."

"You don't have an office," Lin cut in, rolling his eyes. "Look, we're low on time, just cut the feed and I'll make it look like some sort of accident."

"No!" Hayden defended, spreading his arms protectively in front of his screens. "Not okay!"

Lin's eyes squinted in annoyance. "I already told you, we-"

"Just use the Princess' suite," he continued, cutting the lieutenant off. "There's no active equipment in there, and I'm sure there's plenty of shit for you to get-"

"Ideas!" Mai interrupted with abrupt enthusiasm. "He has them, I told you."

Lin just rolled his eyes again, grabbing Hayden's arm. "Fine, come on then."

This, at least, he'd practiced enough times that he broke Lin's hold almost instinctively. Well, and lieutenant wasn't nearly as distracting – terrifying – as the lady major. "I won't tell anyone!" he promised as he launched himself at the door handle – which was thankfully the type that always opened form the inside, locked or not – and made his escape.

oOo


oOo

Alexandria, Egypt

"Hi. I got an email saying there was a package waiting here for me?"

Eliza blinked then smiled at her customer. She almost wanted to take a picture of him; her mother kept insisting that men with long hair just weren't classy, but this one? The ponytail made him look… cultured, instead of rebellious. He was wearing jeans, but with the crisp white shirt he wore rolled up to his elbows, he gave her the impression of an aristocrat taking a casual day, instead of a punk. Someone you wouldn't feel worried about bringing home to meet your mother.

"Name?" she asked chirpily.

"Katriel Dimardin." He leaned casually against the counter, and somehow, that made her feel even more comfortable talking to him. "It should have been sent from Rotterdam."

"Alright…" She opened up a window for her inventory and started to type in the city – she didn't want to embarrass herself trying to spell his name – and quickly found it. "It arrived just this morning," she agreed. "You're quick."

His smile was a real winner too. "I try."

"Can I see your ID?"

"Of course," he returned, taking it out of his wallet and handing it over, and she only checked to see that it was the same name as what was on her computer before handing it back.

"Just a minute," she murmured, going to the back of the store. It didn't take her long to find it; the box was pretty big, but not too heavy. Not light, but not books either. Nothing rattled as she shifted it in her arms, so whatever it was, it was well packed. "Okay here we are," she announced as she came back to the front desk and set it down before handing him her clipboard. "It's all set and paid for, but I need you to fill this out for me before I let you take it."

"Mmhmm," he grunted agreeably, picking a pen up off the counter and doing as she asked, resting the board against his box to hold it still. "This is a nice system," he noted after a moment. "At first, I thought I'd have to get a P.O. box, but I'm only supposed to be in the area for another couple of weeks."

Eliza nodded understandingly. "We hear that a lot, these days; after the Fall, more and more people aren't keeping truly permanent addresses. This usually ends up being a good compromise, I think. We just have to have a card on file for if the recipient never shows up, and we can charge to send it back to a default address the sender listed."

"It's nice when you can keep things simple," he agreed as he signed his name with a flourish. "Thanks."

"Have a nice day!"

oOo


oOo

Munich, Germany – Sarracenia – Relena's Suite

Relena frowned as they came in, locking the door behind them. "Hayden?"

Lin scowled and gestured at Mai. "That one's on her."

"In my defense, whatever is going on? I don't think including Hayden was one of your better ideas."

Lin just grimaced. "Yeah, in retrospect, he doesn't do so well with stress. Let alone Jake-induced stress."

Jerome frowned. "This is about Jake?"

Relena grimaced. "A little."

"It'd be hard to not have it be something to do with him," Mai noted. "He's got his fingers in just about everything Relena even thinks about. So unless this is an attempt to throw him a surprise party, it's got to be pretty fucking serious if we're talking knowledge he doesn't have."

"Serious, yes," Dorothy agreed, eying the major critically. Relena couldn't help but agree with the other noblewoman as she nodded thoughtfully; Mailin had shed her usual humor like a coat she no longer needed. "The details, however, have an unfortunate serving of speculation."

Mai shrugged. "If that weren't the case, I assume we would be doing something instead of discussing it."

"Point," Olivia agreed. Shaking her head, she announced, "We have maybe half an hour before Delilah Osborne arrives, and perhaps twenty before Jake makes his way home, if we are lucky."

"He'll be out longer than that," Rome negated. "Cassie has him in her clutches, and they're shopping. We've got probably three hours before they get back, and then the Noins still have to pack."

"But Mrs. Osborne has a reputation for being prompt, if not early," Olivia reiterated.

Relena nodded sharply, pursing her lips, before simply shaking her head. "I'm not sure where to begin. Lin?"

Lin made a face, and sat down on the edge of Relena's bed. "Well, let's start with the biggest. Treize is totally not dead."

"What?" Olivia demanded harshly.

"Ooh…" Mai crossed her arms. "That… wickedly complicates things."

oOo


oOo

Paris, France

If she didn't know better, Priya would think both men were deliberately trying to play with her. Realistically, she could acknowledge that it was just an instance of intelligence and due caution, but seriously

Odin Lowe's trail had vanished completely after he'd made it across the English Channel, and despite her sitting for a week watching for the slightest twitch from any of the feelers she had on him, she had nothing. He'd turned into a ghost the same way Katriel had after Macedonia, and she'd been ready to buy herself a tall whiskey in recompense for her failure.

Then, suddenly, a flag she'd left on Katriel Dimardin's accounts – a different one than had been used for the Skyview Suites, but still definitely his – popped up back in Egypt. A short flight from where she had been, before chasing after his friend in the west.

She had the distinct suspicion that as soon as she started chasing Katriel, he'd vanish again too. And then maybe Odin would pop back up on the map in South Africa, just to switch things up.

At the same time, however, Odin was just a distraction; Katriel was the entire reason she was dashing around Europe to start with, and after a couple of years of no activity at all, he had no reason to suspect someone might try to trail him. She had checked to be sure before starting, but the name Katriel Dimardin had never come close to being identified as an alias of Quatre Winner by any government, despite the capricious way he would use it then allow it to simply collect dust. Of course, presumably Watau Enterprises was handling its sedentary periods…

Come to think of it, this fancy footwork of his was probably annoying Permilla as much as it was her.

She sighed and shut her laptop, starting to pack her things back up. Whatever she speculated would happen next, the fact of the matter was that she'd been dead in the water before this lead, and while she'd consider just ignoring Odin Lowe's movements in favor of a hunch, she couldn't do the same for Katriel. Whether he was actually Quatre Winner or someone who had stumbled upon the right papers to make use of them, she was here because they needed that confirmation, one way or another. Whoever Odin was, there was a good chance that even if she caught him, he might have no idea who Katriel Dimardin was, in false or real terms. Spending the night under the same roof implied friends over business accomplices, but really… This was a lot of speculation and guesswork.

Nothing for it, she decided grimly as she started shoving things back in her suitcase. If this goes on much longer, though, I'm bringing in Tay, whatever Freddie says.

oOo


oOo

Munich, Germany – Sarracenia – Afternoon

Cassie sighed as she hugged him, resting her weight against him for a moment. "Don't wait for the apocalypse before you come visit again," she muttered sullenly into his shoulder.

Jake huffed a sigh back at her as he returned the hug. "I'm totally over doing that sort of thing, promise."

"And the princess would have your guts for garters if you tried."

"And Relena would have my guts for garters if I tried," he agreed, amused in spite of himself.

"You need to get off your behind and talk to that girl."

"That's not the greatest idea," he argued back mildly. Kissing her crown, he stepped back and took her hands. "It'll work out soon, though."

Cassie rolled her eyes, and Des snorted, but neither of them tried to argue the point further. They'd made their opinions clear – though Cassie, at least, didn't have even half of the full picture – and at this point, they'd agreed to disagree.

Instead, Des stepped forward to hug him as well. "If you see my daughter before me, you make arrangements. I know the house is being watched, but now that we're back in touch, you can play middleman: if you ask me to come somewhere, whatever the circumstances, I won't ask questions."

"If I see her first," Jake agreed, returning the hug tightly. "Same thing in return, yeah?"

"I'll come up with some excuse or other," Des assured him as he withdrew. "Take care of yourself, and don't be a stranger.

"You too. Drive safe."

"Will do."

He stayed outside long enough to watch their car leave the winding driveway, then sighed, turning and walking back into the house.

He still couldn't completely make up his mind about what he needed to do next. The Noins' visit after his own vacation had allowed him to put it all off, but even with the much needed break…

His options still looked really fucking bleak. He'd almost picked up the phone to call David at least three times this week for advice – before remembering that the other man's opinion was already damn set in stone, and he wouldn't actually listen to him. Which made him pissed off all over again. And even more furious with himself for thrashing the other man for his opinion. It only went downhill from there.

He just… needed to follow through. He'd talk to Relena, and-

He sighed as the Imperial March started up on his phone, and Vaughn frowned in confusion at him from the desk in surveillance before starting to laugh. Jake rolled his eyes and pulled his phone out of his pocket, debating if he was actually in the mood to deal with another of the prince's bitch fits. He'd called no less than four times over the past week to vent about all the problems the Barton Heiress was causing, and frankly, most of his amusement over it had faded before the end of the second. He stuck his tongue out at his driver and silenced the ringer, before frowning. "Where's Hayden?"

"Came out of here like a bat out of hell about two hours ago, while you were out with the Noins," Vaughn explained with a grin. "Yelled something about having 'nothing to do with it,' and I'm pretty sure he left the compound before he called me and asked if I'd take the rest of his shift. He wouldn't explain, but I read between the lines enough to realize it had something to do with the major."

Jake snorted as he flopped into the chair next to Vaughn, setting his phone on the desk. He'd considered trying to reel the woman in a few times, but honestly, her antics were frighteningly calculated to turn the atmosphere of the compound into more of a home than a base, so unless something illegal seemed to be going on he was inclined to leave her be. He'd pulled her aside after the poker incident and made it clear that any claims of harassment would be taken seriously, and the look she'd given him had made it clear that she wasn't that stupid. "Anyone find the collateral yet?"

"Not yet. Not sure if she changed her mind or if it's just a slow burn, though."

"Make sure you lock your door before you go to sleep tonight," Jake advised, tipping his head back. He made a face as his phone started ringing again. Zechs…

"Like that would stop her." He raised his brows in surprise when Jake flipped the phone over on the table, muting it again without picking up. "Do I even want to know?"

"I'm pretty sure I don't," Jake noted. "And it's not that she couldn't get in, it's about making yourself a less appealing target than those around you."

"She's made it pretty clear that she thinks choosing her victims by that principle is discrimination." He pursed his lips. "You don't ignore Relena like that."

"Relena doesn't call me to whine like a Jewish housewife every day."

Vaughn rolled his eyes. "Wow. I can't believe you just said that."

"Only because you don't think I'm serious." He frowned, glancing up at the screens. "Where is Relena?"

"Apparently free time means beauty time, and Dorothy arranged to have a spa relocate to her house for the afternoon," the other man noted, grinning. "They left maybe thirty minutes back with Lin, Mai, and Osborne, and then the maids tagged along too." He bit his lower lip. "Actually, I wouldn't be surprised if Hayden spazzed because Mai tried to move it to our house, and he thought she'd force the issue if he didn't escape."

"Sounds feasible." He sighed as the phone started ringing again. "Damn it."

"Maybe you should see what Darth Vader wants?" Vaughn suggested, grinning. "I'm starting to get curious."

He tapped the phone in the other man's direction. "You can answer, then."

He quickly tapped it back. "Hell no." He frowned. "Why's he whining?"

"He's being hazed," Jake announced after a moment, staring at the device, debating if the man would try calling a fourth time or if he'd just leave a voicemail.

"Hazed?"

"Hazed by an artistically vengeful aristocrat," Jake confirmed. "Treize style. You don't turn Leia Barton's life upside down and expect to get away with it; even Dekim was known to catch a flight if he heard she was coming to town. That woman is beautiful, tenacious, and if you set her off, she's just as vindictive as every other Barton that's ever drawn breath."

"…I can't decide if that description was awesome or… gruesome."

Jake tipped his head back, grinning, as his phone finally stopped ringing. "That's the beauty of it."

They sat in silence for a few minutes before Vaughn asked, "Do you have an excuse planned for why you're ignoring him when he asks, later?"

He closed his eyes. "What are you talking about, I left my phone on my nightstand again."

"Ah, right."

"I'm terrible with cell phones. Keep forgetting I even own one." He sat back up to meet the other man's eyes. "I have a long history of this problem. It might as well be to my advantage for once."

Vaughn started laughing a deep, genuine laugh, and Jake relaxed into the sound. He was aware of the fact that he'd been doing little other than relax for three weeks now, but at the same time, the tension never seemed to go away… and damn but it felt good to just let go. Vaughn didn't know enough that he had to work to hide from the daredevil. He could spend a little while just sitting and bullshitting with his men; camaraderie was important. He'd been away, letting Lin and Rome – Mai had been something of a happy accident, in terms of her taking the reigns all the damn time – take over for him. And for all that he had originally groomed them to do exactly that, it was…

It was upsetting to come back and realize that they had all slid together perfectly without him to orchestrate it. They didn't need him anymore, which filled him with enough pride that he thought his chest would burst, but at the same time…

…It meant his time was running out. And this time, the satisfaction of finishing a job so well wouldn't even come close to eclipsing the loss of this life.

That… that had never happened, before now.

No one like Relena had ever happened, before now.

On the bright side, knowing her, there was a good chance she'd forgive him eventually. He imagined it would take a while – it had taken him almost a year to realize that she had never forgiven her brother for sending her away, let alone for the destruction he'd caused – but eventually, he was fairly sure she would at least be willing to be his friend again. This spark of theirs would probably have disappeared by then and she would have moved on and probably be seeing someone with maybe a tenth of his baggage, but… He could live with that.

Probably.

"Boss?"

Jake's head snapped up; he hadn't realized that they'd stopped talking. "Mm?"

Vaughn's face was concerned. "You okay?"

He tipped his head to one side at that, giving the question real consideration. "Well, I'd better be." It was a done, sealed deal, really. That was what made the situation so fucking depressing: he was living on borrowed time, and had been for a while. The only thing left up in the air was when.

Realistically, it would be best if he forced the issue, made his own timeline, and resigned. Walked away before she could actually burn him, and let her find out through some means that she might not immediately connect to him. He'd been thinking about that a lot lately, trying to work out the details for a kink-free plan. He'd come up with a few solid ideas.

The problem was, while it all sounded good in his head? He just couldn't do it. He'd started insisting to himself that it was because if she realized he'd just left for reasons she would no doubt put together over time, there was no way she might take him back as a friend down the line; Relena appreciated honesty. She forgave people with time, but he'd still rather make the least amount of ripples for her to consider in the long run.

She… she had changed, lately. Sometimes she was clear as glass, and other times… he was starting to wonder if he was only seeing one of the mirages she directed at her peers. She'd encapsulated his own policies more thoroughly than he would have ever imagined possible… And in some ways, it was that adaptability, that changeable strength, that made her so… So…

Powerful. Ideal. Dangerous.

Perfect.

…In the end of the day, it didn't matter. Whatever excuses he came up with to feed his dying ego, he wouldn't leave any sooner than he was forced because for all that he had enjoyed his time away in Tivoli, each day without the woman had been cripplingly empty. Then somehow, coming back to his own damn house, seeing her again but not being as heavily involved because the Noins were still a distraction had made it even worse.

And he knew, had known even before they managed to settle into their routine again that being so close he could smell her on everything he owned again, of sleeping just a few yards away but knowing it was impossible to get closer… It was going to hollow him out even further.

And he still couldn't let go.

It was so idiotic it made him want to laugh until he cried, but damn it, he couldn't stand to do anything but drink in these last drops for as long as she was willing to allow it.

"I am so fucking whipped," he groaned aloud, leaning forward and dropping his face into his hands. This was seriously a few steps past pathetic, but damn it, it was what it was.

He wanted to talk to David. He could apologize, and-

A melodic tune made up predominantly of violins started up on his phone, and he groaned again, even as he reached for it. He wouldn't ignore this one, for all that, considering the timing, he was pretty sure he knew exactly what it was about. "In my defense," he started as soon as the line connected, "I didn't think he would tattle on me if I ignored him."

Relena sounded exasperated. "How long has this been going on?"

"A week."

"He's only had her for a week," the princess protested.

Jake frowned; the context no longer worked. "He's been complaining since he got her, but I think I missed something."

"You fail at recognizing my brother's boundaries," she continued playfully. "She's broken him."

He resisted the urge to laugh. "That is pretty sad. I thought it'd take at least two." He frowned. "How broken are we talking?"

"He wants to be shut of her," Relena explained, still sounding entirely amused, though there was an underlying irritation as well. "And apparently she's made it clear that you are the only acceptable option." She snickered. "Did you know that your phone number is the only one she left be on his phone? He had to look mine up."

He started to laugh helplessly; that certainly explained a few things. "Not in that much detail," he admitted. "That sounds like her, though."

She giggled. "I'm not sure if I'm going to love or despise this woman."

"Oh, I know you," he teased. "It won't matter what you think of her: you'll want lessons."

Vaughn and Relena both got a good laugh out of that as Jake grinned and shook his head. "So… He's bringing her back?" he asked once the giggles had mostly subsided.

"Oh no," Relena chirped in a dangerously sweet tone. "He's much too busy for that. And of course, he can't possibly spare the kind of guard he'd need to simply send her to us. She might escape, you understand, if she's not with someone beyond coercion. Which somehow doesn't include anyone else in his empire."

Jake groaned even as he started to chuckle again under his breath. "Please tell me he's willing to negotiate."

"If he was, he lost the urge when you didn't pick up your phone five times in a row," she added in an innocent voice.

"Four times," Jake corrected. "And what the hell would I have said if I'd suddenly answered after he'd already tried twice? Give me an hour or two to theoretically find my phone and let him cool off, and I'll try talking him down; I'm not sure how to even begin extricating you enough from the current politics for a trip of that magnitude." It would take at least ten days to get to Zechs' fleet, based on their last position. "He might be more willing to listen to me."

"How did Noin fall for such a chauvinist?"

"He used to hide it better," Jake adlibbed, though he was fairly sure it was accurate. Most military men were a bit misogynistic, to be honest; even having capable women alongside them didn't help, as most could tell themselves that their female comrades were the exception to the rule. "And he's a lot more neurotic than when he was a teenager." Softer, he added, almost under his breath, "He doesn't really have a reason to try, anymore."

Relena sighed, sounding exhausted. "Right. Of course. I'll just head home, then."

"No, stay," he argued. "Have some fun and relax. I can't really start to work on it for another ninety minutes at least, and even if I can't get him to compromise, you don't have anything going that a few extra hours now would fix, if we really have to pick up and go at his whim like this."

"Jake-"

"You deserve some spa time," Jake continued, overriding her. "Take tonight, and let me try and work my magic."

She huffed at him, but she sounded grateful at the same time. "Thank-you."

"Whatever you need," he assured her. Whenever you need it, he finished silently to himself. A thought occurred to him. "Real quick, though?"

"Mm?"

"What did she do?"

The giggles returned, and he could hear other women laughing in the background as well. He felt his eyebrows raise as Relena actually attempted to explain a few times, but only got a word or two in before sputtering back into helpless crying laughter. He shared a worried look with Vaughn.

"Hi, Colonel!" Mai announced in an absurdly chipper tone. "Let's just say that he won't be appearing on vid screens for a while."

He felt his stomach drop as something close to hysteria bubbled out in the form of yet more laughter. In reality, he wasn't sure if sobs might not be more appropriate. Despite the years of wearing the mask and having convinced the majority of the population that he had some major deformity, the tall royal had always been vain. Specifically, he had always been absurdly vain about his hair. "Did she manage to dye it?" he demanded.

"Bleach, actually," Mai negated happily.

Vaughn frowned. "He's… already blonde?" he noted in a questioning tone.

Mailin snickered. "Lots of bleach."

"Orange?" Jake demanded, trying to imagine it. Most people who hadn't had a bad dye job didn't know it, but if you kept stripping hair after you'd run out of color, it would turn nigh fluorescent on you.

"How would you get that past him?" Vaughn argued, skeptical. "It kinda has to set a while."

"Powdered bleach. Lemon scented. Mixed in his dry shampoo."

Jake choked. Both powders were a must for long-term space travel. Water rations were a constant annoyance, and the less fluid brought onboard, the less weight you had to account for. But…

Fuck, but he actually used to tease Zechs about his fruity shampoo powder smelling like an obsessive woman's kitchen. The 'unscented' was honestly anything but, so on some level, he could understand. The prince had always insisted that it was subtle, and covered up the scent of 'deep sweat' better; he'd always insisted he couldn't get the sweat smell out of his nose on long trips, and all the other scents sold in the powders were too feminine. Jake had long since decided that whatever the other man thought he smelled was more psychosomatic than anything – he knew his sense of smell was more sensitive than the other man's, and they always had enough wet wipes to stay clean even if it was a solid five days between opportunities to wash their hair.

That, and he would forever maintain that jasmine was an androgynous scent. If someone as badass as his uncle could pull off a damn jasmine lime cologne, cocoa jasmine powder really couldn't go down as girly. It just made him smell like cookies, and seriously, there were worse things. If anyone other than Zechs disagreed with him, they'd never had the nerve to say it to his face.

But… fuck, no wonder he was pissed, this was a single shade shy of poisoning. Powdered bleach didn't activate until it got damp but, well, sweat happened… and Zechs had always dashed a touch of the water he got for teeth cleaning over the top of his head to get rid of the frizz after all the oil was absorbed. Then, with how much pain that Jake knew he was regularly living with since Libra, some of which was nerve-based, and the fact that he was damn sure the man was taking prescription painkillers on a regular basis? It might have taken an embarrassingly long time for him to realize there was a reason he was having a shitty day.

And the burns… Fuck, how much of his hair would have just fallen out?

On the other end of the line, Relena had apparently gotten control of herself enough to take back the phone. "I'm sorry," she apologized breathlessly. "It really isn't funny, it sounds horrible and you can tell he feels wretched, but it's just so ridiculous!"

Yeah… That summed it up pretty damn well. "I'm not sure how much ground I can get him to give if his scalp is seriously covered in bleach burns," he ground out after a long moment. Depending on how bad it was, they might actually run him through a dose of Remalene over the next week or two.

"I know," she agreed in a tired, miserable tone. "It is what it is; if he's going to pull crap like this, there's not much we can really do, in the end. Just… Try, okay?"

"You got it. See you later tonight."

"Ja."

Jake sighed again as he disconnected the call, meeting Vaughn's eyes with a tired expression. "Shit."

"You really weren't kidding about the whole vindictive part," his soldier noted, his expression caught between incredulity and horror.

Jake scrubbed a hand through his hair. "In her defense," he explained, "She probably thought he'd realize something was wrong and wash his hair within an hour or two. Zechs is just really good at getting stubborn about ignoring little discomforts. Most people never would have been able to stand wearing his mask every day for years on end. Think of how uncomfortable a motorcycle helmet is, even a nice one, after a few hours."

He grimaced, rubbing a hand over his face in memory even just thinking about it. "Right. Crazy tolerance. Still, wouldn't that burn?"

"Get used to ignoring enough things, and you'd be surprised how many pain responses just get lost in the mix." And if he's still taking any opiates, the effect would be compounded. Shaking his head, he gestured at the desktop. "Upload Lena's schedule to the house server again, just to be sure it's up to date: I've got homework." He might as well have a good handle on what points he had to fight for before he talked to the prince.

"You got it." He spun back to the keyboard, and Jake was standing to leave when the driver started to snicker. He glanced up and noticed his superior's gaze before shrugging in response. "You said it earlier, but…" He shook his head. "Nail on the head, Boss. You are totally whipped."

Jake rolled his eyes and casually flipped the other man off as he walked out, making him laugh harder.

As if he needed the confirmation.

oOo


oOo

September 6th 198 – Saturday – Amsterdam, Netherlands – Devil's Den

Duo blinked and reflexively wrapped his arms around Karina as she dropped more or less into his lap with a rather gusty sigh. "Hold me," she demanded belatedly.

He smirked. "Long day?"

She wrinkled her nose in an adorable fashion. It would have been more adorable if her face wasn't flushed and blotchy, though, and he frowned as he shifted to check her for a fever. Rina rolled her eyes but didn't try to stop him, though she snuggled deeper into his chest. "Long week," she admitted after a moment. "Day's technically been okay, so far." Sighing again, she relaxed fully and rested her head back on his shoulder. "It just needs to be next week."

A few pieces finally clicked a few pieces together. Ah. "What anniversary would this have been?" he asked quietly.

"First date," she replied without hesitation. "I was terrified. I worried I'd maybe read him wrong, you know? But…"

"But he changed everything," Duo agreed.

She made a face again, sniffling. "That's just it though. He didn't… I even started to regret it, after a couple months when the Slingers came out higher up in the power hierarchy. And after that, when I decided I needed to play him, everything got a lot scarier." She let out a soft sob. "I was so…" Another cry, louder this time. "What was wrong with me?"

Grimacing, he reached up to cradle her head against his chest. "You were scared."

"How could I do that to somebody?"

"You were fourteen and terrified, and everyone fucks up sometimes," he reminded her. "It's okay."

"It's not okay," she argued, her voice thick with tears.

"Luc decided it was okay, and that's all it takes," he insisted firmly. "He wouldn't have traded his time with you, with Renee, for anything."

"We don't even know if she's his," she whispered hoarsely. "I never even told him I didn't know."

Duo closed his eyes for a moment. "He knew."

She twisted so she could glower at him. "Don't make shit up, Kay."

He steeled himself again. "He knew, Rina. He knew you were pregnant as soon as you did. He didn't know who until after you'd made up your mind, but he knew, and he didn't care. He loved you, and he really believed that Renee was the best thing that had ever happened to him. He didn't care that there was a chance she wasn't his blood; she was his from the moment she was born."

The little blonde threw her arms around his neck as she began to cry in earnest and he just held her, running his hands alternately over her back and through her hair. And if he shed a few tears of his own while she got it out of her system, it wasn't anyone's damn business but their own.

She was doing better, at least; the last time she'd come looking for a shoulder to cry on had been on Renee's first birthday, almost three months ago, and everyone had gotten a bit weepy, really.

…They were all going to be a mess when December came around again. But it had been about nine months since the riot now… And, well… All in all, he thought they were doing pretty good.

He opened his eyes again when Karina's sobs had turned to whimpers, and found Melissa standing in the doorway watching them with a forlorn expression. He offered her a tired smile, and she just shook her head, padding softly the rest of the way into the room. Rina didn't protest when his wife lifted her legs up so she could settle on the couch next to him, just curled into a tighter ball after the other woman settled, her knees to 'Liss's belly, then again to grasp her hand when the brunette wrapped one arm around Duo's back and settled the opposite on Rina's hip.

Yeah, he decided as 'Liss rested her head on his shoulder, and he turned to kiss her crown. We'll be okay.

oOo


oOo

September 7th 198 – Sunday – Munich, Germany – City

"Mitchell."

"Heya, Dave," Mu greeted as she walked away from the store where she'd bought the little burner. "It's your ex calling. Got a minute?"

The colonel barked out a laugh. "Like I would ever have been stupid enough to let you get away," he rebuffed. "I've always got time for you."

Safe to talk, then. David even had a secure line – vetted by Váli, he said. "I don't know," she mused. "You seem to have pretty weird ideas when it comes to relationships."

"Ouch," he complained. "You haven't dealt with too many drama queens, have you?"

She rolled her eyes. "I've heard from a reliable source that they're bad for your health."

Her friend just sighed. "I maintain that he's never done that to me before, and I royally fucked up. If Relena hadn't been there when she was, the worst he'd have done was physically toss my ass on the curb; and so long as I made it clear I'd follow his rules, he'd have let me pack my shit up first." A pause. "And I probably could have talked him out of getting rid of me while I packed."

Mu frowned. "I was under the impression that the only reason you didn't get up close and personal with the local ICU was because Relena was there to separate you two."

"It's… more like she cleaned up after herself," David corrected. "God help him, but Lena is easily the best thing that's ever happened to that asshole and everyone near him, so I'm not going to blame her for being in the wrong place at the wrong time."

She snorted. Anyone with eyes – and lived with them, at least, they were very circumspect in public – could tell how deeply those two were intertwined with their bizarrely hands off love affair. She'd given up trying to sort out where the colonel ended and the princess began after her third week working with them, when she realized that neither of them seemed to know either.

Both of them were doing their damndest to pretend that their little unrequited angst act wasn't what was really going on. It was simultaneously the makings of every teenage romance story and the cause of the first time in Mu's life that she had been tempted to actually bang her head on something.

She hadn't been able to help herself when Dorothy asked her if she wanted in on the pool for when those two would just get their act together and make out. Dorothy was optimistic enough to already be out of the running as of last week, but if they stopped being idiots inside the next three weeks or so, she should be closer to the mark than Olivia and be able to score money off both the nobles.

Then again, she might end up joining the ranks of the rest of the staff that had already lost out that 'wished to remain anonymous' and just wanted to be put out of their misery months ago.

Wrinkling her nose, she asked, "What did you do anyway?"

David groaned. "Called him Váli. I'm pretty sure neither Lin or Lena recognized it as a word, let alone a name… But technically I blew his cover in front of the woman he's gone native for right after he threatened me for even thinking about breathing a hint of it to her."

Mu stopped walking and closed her eyes for a moment, processing that, taking a few deep breaths…

"…Mu?"

"Were you ever intending to tell me that my boss was a supporter?" she demanded in a level voice. "That he was, you know, the guy you report to?"

"Seeing as he's refused to report to anybody, including Lena, since January? No, I really wasn't. I put you in there because you fit the criteria of what Lena needed short-term, you provided an out if Jake wised up and came out of his little ball of angst, and because there's enough testosterone in that house to set off a God damn bomb."

God, but there really was. And Mailin didn't exactly set the bar very high herself. "Seriously?"

"In my defense, I didn't know about the Major when I put your paperwork through. I really thought you'd get on great with Lena; that you'd get to be friends."

We are friends, she wanted to shout at him. She did like the princess, and she knew from the frequency of the times the girl sought her out specifically meant that Relena liked her too. Typhoon Marakesh just had literally no comprehension of boundaries, and as far as she could tell, the Princess loved the troublemaker like a big sister. Even if she'd had the energy to compete with the major, trying harder to be a part of the girl's life would be so outside of her personality that it would be obviously unnatural.

"Do you want to be reassigned?" he asked tiredly.

Mu sighed. "Maybe," she admitted. At the same time, though, it was a good position in a to die for posting. She agreed with Relena's ideals to a T, Jake was an amazing commander when he wasn't busy being the damn boogeyman, and she'd just barely settled in. The guys were all pretty cool, and even though Mai drove her up the wall periodically, damn her, even she liked the woman. Maybe she's spiking the coffee with something, because I've officially lost it. "I don't know," she temporized. "Ask me next month."

"Well, I can always use you over here, if nothing else," he offered. "That won't change. It's much higher risk, though."

"I'll think about it," she promised. She wasn't a diplomat, after all, she'd earned her rank in the infantry; but she wasn't good enough to fight herself out of practically any corner either, the way Mitchell could. The way Mai could,she couldn't help but bemoan. The green-eyed yet still distinctly Asian minx was the sort of Amazon that birthed legends, or something.

Sometimes, it was really hard to not hate her on sheer principle.

"Alright, well… just let me know."

She recognized a dismissal when she heard it. "Stay safe," she returned.

"You got it."

oOo


oOo


Deviant


oOo


…anyone not already pick up that Jake was Váli?

Comments really mean a damn lot, especially when covering this many points, and finally getting through story arcs that it feels like we've all been waiting for. This chapter was really a treat, mixing a lot of humor with some very serious shit – more of the same in the following chapter.

Next up, more Duo, and Jake and Lena finally get over their bullshit. And let's not forget to embarrass Zechs along the way!