Chapter Five
Nick was extremely quiet for the next few hours. The boys went to the second sleeping car but their whispers were still heard in the parlor car.
They were excited about the school just from James David's descriptions and discussing a three-boy rooming assignment.
Nick grimaced at the talk and went to nurse his whiskey and have a cigar outside.
Elisabeth frowned at Jarrod as they lay down on the pull-down bed across the room. The Petersons were placed in the private sleeping quarters and the boys in the second one. Maris was resting on the settee across from Nick.
"Jarrod, why has Nick's mood changed so drastically? Did he hear the boys?"
"I think the whole train did," he joked.
"I wish he could see that the ranch and Stockton are not the place for Chip right now. He can always come back and run the ranch when he is older."
"I think," as he lowered his voice, "He knows that things will change and it's his last tie to Peg. He never really got over losing her. Francis and I were living in Sacramento at the time but when we visited, they were besotted. Nick lost his heart to a woman who was finally perfect for him. Losing all the babes and having Chip—- then losing Peg. It was too much."
"So very sad." She whispered back.
Jarrod kept his other suspicions to himself as he gazed over at the beautiful redhead on the settee napping. "Maybe she touched a nerve he thought he buried or was it that she was actually available, attainable and he was really interested— My brother is a lot deeper than anyone realizes I have come to know."
—&—-
Nick paced outside for an hour. He chewed on the end of the cigar so hard it broke and hit the ground. He put out the embers with his boot and took another swig of whiskey.
He looked up at the night sky, "Peg, I know you are up there watching our babies and over us. Good thing it's you. Only thing that gets me through some nights. I am left down here with just the one, my namesake—-Jonathan Nicholas Barkley Junior. The Chip off the old block as Heath nicknamed him in your arms. He's a handful as you would expect, mostly my fault, a little of your sass but a good kid. He wants to go to this fancy school. I blame you. I am a bit scared, not that's not the word for it…I ain't ever been scared. Oh, Peg, you know better. Oh hell, that's the word, I am scared."
He walked up to the front of the train to check on the progress.
"Need any help?"
"We got it Mista. You are too old for this kinda work." a teen yelled back.
Nick clenched his fists and walked off, "A few years ago, I woulda shown him."
An elderly man walked up beside him. He wore a brimmed cap and used a cane.
"They got the backs for sure but you got the brains."
Nick laughed, "Miss the back days. But thank ya for the brains thought. Not sure some days."
"Yore past forty. That's when your brain really takes over. The older you get, the more you realize what's important and what's not. Each year, ya see it clearer."
"I am trying to—-" he muttered.
"You married?"
"Widowed," he hated even saying the word.
"I have outlived three wives myself."
"How'd you do it? I mean get past it. Find another wife."
"Just kept on living. The feelings come back first to your nether parts." The old man chuckled.
Nick laughed in the darkness.
"Kinda heals your heart. But I have loved all three of them. Still do. That never quit but your heart opens up wider with good honest loving. Not the kind you buy. Not the kind ya just settle for. The one that catches your eye and makes ya think about it. Don't settle until she makes you think. You don't have to talk yourself into a good woman, just a poor choice of woman."
"Thank you, sir. You have given me something to think about. Got any advice on raising rowdy sons."
The man heartily laughed, "Four of them. Four daughters too. Boys just gotta follow their way with your strong hand on their shoulder. So they know who guides him and how to come home when they need it. Now daughters, ain't got them figured out at all." He laughed again.
"Thank you, sir. I think you are exactly who I needed to run into tonight."
"I was missing my Peggy tonight. I like to talk to the stars knowing she hears me."
Nick's head jerked around, "What did you say?"
"I talk to Margaret, my first wife. Helps me get to sleep. Was on the train heading to see a new grandchild, Margaret, her namesake."
Nick couldn't swallow the lump in his throat. He walked the old man back to his car.
"I am 74 years old. I have lived a full life. Go live a full life, yes that's it. Tomorrow I see my new Peggy."
"I will sir."
—-&—-
Nick slipped back into the railroad cars. Everyone was asleep fully clothed. Jarrod sat up hearing the noise.
"It's just me, big brother. Going to be a few more hours. Sunup or so."
"Thanks, Nick. You ok?"
"Yep. Air cleared my head."
Jarrod laid back down next to his wife. He kissed her on the forehead and arranged the covers.
Nick pushed open the door to the sleeping cars. The Petersons were sleeping soundly. The older lawyer was cradling his white-haired wife with her splinted arm and his bandaged forehead.
He went into the other car. Three boys in undershirts and trousers all piled into a bed. Arms and legs all over the bed. He walked over and covered them with blankets. He ran his fingers through Chip's hair, so much like his own.
He walked back into the sitting room. Maris was on the settee asleep with the gold embroidered shawl around her shoulders. Tears stung Nick's eyes and he brushed them away. He took a blanket and covered her.
"Thank you, Nick. I love the shawl and most of all that you thought of me. This shawl will come in handy, I just know it." and then his wife kissed him on the cheek.
Nick subconsciously touched his cheek where Peg kissed him all those years ago. It still felt fresh—a sort of blessing to him
