2brown-eyes reads!


Man on the Moon—R.E.M.

The next morning I'm up early. Last night was an eye-opener, and I realize now that I need to give Edward the courtesy of an advanced warning. I don't want him to hear it in the grapevine when he least expects it.

Having it come from me is the least I can do.

So, with R.E.M. blasting from my stereo, a breakfast burrito in one hand, and the steering wheel in the other, I make my way to the hospital. As I pull into the lot, I realize I didn't calculate how it would make me feel to be here again so soon after Charlie, but I push that down and focus on the reason I'm here.

I scan the parking lot for Edward's car, and when I don't see it, I start to doubt my plan. But before I can chicken out, he cruises into the lot and grabs a space two rows ahead of me.

Hustling out of my truck, I jog to catch up with him before he makes it to the entrance. To say he's surprised when I call his name is an understatement. He turns around, brows furrowed.

"Bella," he says as I catch up with him. "What are you doing here?"

His tone is impersonal.

Like he's talking to a random patient he saw last week.

"I was hoping we could talk?"

He looks at his nonexistent watch. "I can give you five minutes."

I bob my head. "That works."

I move to the curb, taking a seat beneath a cherry tree with beautiful pink flowers. I motion for him to join me, but he crosses his arms. "I think I'll stay right here."

"Shit." I brush my fingers through my hair, nerves getting the better of me. Was this a stupid idea? Should I have just let this progress on its own? Maybe I was only thinking of myself?

"Bella," he says, and his tone is softer now. "Just spit it out. Please."

I heave a deep breath. "I'm seeing someone."

His face falls, but he composes it quickly and drops to the curb without looking at me. "It shouldn't surprise me, but it does."

I picture Mase smiling at me, and it gives me the courage to reply. "What surprises me is how easy it is to forget about you when he's around."

"Ouch." He grabs his stomach like I physically kicked him in it. "But I get it. I remember feeling guilty for enjoying the time I spent with Bree."

"It's nothing permanent," I rush to add. "I have college and he has …" I trail off because I don't know his plans besides going home.

He looks at me then for the first time since he sat on the curb. "It's okay, B," he breathes, holding out his hand. I take it because I don't ever want to forget the feel of his skin against mine. "It's been okay for a long time."

Tears spring to my eyes as he gives my words back to me. "I hope you're glad that I came. I didn't want you to find out about it another way."

"The Forks gossip mill?" He snorts a laugh. "Are you sure someone didn't race right over after the movie and tell me?"

I open my mouth to respond, and then it snaps shut, my eyes jumping to his. "I didn't say anything about a movie."

"You didn't have to." He looks away, and my stomach bunches into knots.

"Dammit," I huff, pissed that someone would take this from me. "Tell me who it was so I can kick their ass."

He squeezes my hand, bringing my attention to our clasped ones as he slowly pulls his away. "No ass-kicking needed. I saw your truck in the theater lot, and now you're here. I can put two and two together."

He stands, and a rush of panic moves through me because I don't want him to leave. The urge to grab him and beg is strong, but I don't. I close my eyes and take a few deep breaths before opening them again.

I meet his gaze. "You always were able to read me like a book."

"Except when it really mattered, it seems." He sighs, fingering his hair before fighting the urge and pulling his hand away. "Bad habit." He chuckles nervously. "Bree's reminders are working."

"I always loved when you tugged at your hair," I say without thought.

"And that's the problem, isn't it?" he asks, and it's rhetorical because he continues. "You shouldn't say stuff like that, and it can't matter to me."

"Shit, sorry," I rush out. "I wasn't thinking. I've always been too comfortable with you."

He looks at me for a long time, quiet and careful. "We can't keep doing this," he finally says. "I'm glad you came, but these conversations only stir up old memories, and we're both trying to look ahead instead of to the past."

"You're right." I stand too, his words hitting home. "You should tell Bree I came and tell her I said hi."

"I think I will." He smiles before he turns and walks off.

I leave feeling deflated.

I came with good intentions, but I don't think I did anyone any favors. Bree will likely be upset, Edward would've put it all together anyway, and I did that thing where I take us back. It opens old wounds and adds a new bump to the healing process.

It was dumb.

Reckless.

And unnecessary.

On a whim, I turn toward the mobile home park for a quick pit stop before I go home and get ready for my shift.

The butterflies stir.

And I smile to myself.


Was I missed?

Epic warning: if you don't love kayaking, you won't love kayaking with the Bahamian blue/green water as your backdrop hahaha wahhhh.

My vaycay was stunning, but I am so happy to be home!

See you tmr :)