Teen Titans; ReBeL Yell- If I Had Stayed a Renegade

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Sleep Schedules

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A funny comparison of different times Dick and his team had to learn to deprive themselves of sleep, includes post Dick no longer as Slade's apprentice, then compares it to his bat fam with hilarious results in present day Officer Grayson's timeline. Not really a Slade Robin thing, just for fun.

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"We're going to try out a new exercise, Titans."

Starfire floated in from her kitchen catastrophe, Raven had looked up from a decent sized book while Bb nearly lost his Frisbee to Cy as Robin crossed his arms and tapped his boot wearing sole impatiently.

"Ehen, are we all present for today's presentation?"

"I…uh…think so?" Cy shrugged and counted off five titans in the main room.

"Present and formally accounted the four!" Starfire mis -spoke.

"Ditto." Raven droned out her two cents to this brilliant scheme of her leader's.

"What I'm about to ask then, is that you all have an open mind…. I think…"

The others intently gathered closer to hear him.

"When I was both with Batman and Slade…" He shook his head at the last part. (takes place before Terra.) "We had controlled our sleep patterns to ensure that we still got some rest, yet we didn't lose our chance to have late night adjustments when stopping criminals. With Slade even, he tried to re- teach me the military style he knew on how to accomplish this quickly. So, our task for today... controlling our amount of sleep and our rhythms with a few tricks….to stay awake until we can find out WHEN we will pass out."

"SAY WHAT?? ARE YOU GOING VIOLENT ON US AGAIN, SPIKE! SLADE SCREWED UP YOUR WAY A' THINKING. THAT'S JUS –

"Batman could do it." Dick replied sharply to the eldest hero. "So can we. From now on by seven and up, NO one is to fall asleep until one in the morning per day - being one person, so you each get a turn." He held up a one with his finger. "Today we'll pick one individual to go first, then tomorrow we do the same, skip two days to get adjusted until ALL of us have gone over the process flawlessly." ( Not doing the math exactly here.)

"NO WAY!" Bb shrieked. "I'm too young to look old and saggy! You can't DO this!"

"Will we not be considered vulnerable without the "bugs biting us" as we "rest" the easy?" Kori blinked and thought this drastic act was, reckless. Was their leader cured of Slade's influence, or was this the Bat – Man's logic poking through those unfiltered blinds?

"It's like a doctor's procedure" Raven grumbled, finding team to be overreacting to what was necessary. "You can at least attempt it once –

"You too, RAE?" Bb spat at the empath as she slammed her book shut. "We tend to become lazier and more willing to sleep at night, so more criminals will end up taking notice. This city, will eventually… become another Gotham."

The group froze and gaped at her assessment; Dick was pleased as punch that he'd finally gotten their word. Even out of fear…

"Alright! Raven? Did you want to volunteer for the first night-

"I'LL DO IT!! PICK ME! PLEASE??" Kori was aware of Raven's magic and the rest agreed that she should have a later turn. The empath shrugged, returning to her new favorite novel. "Go for it." She insisted in a monotonous sounding voice, uninterested yet cautious of what might become of Kori if she lost ENOUGH zzzs during their witching hour.

"She'll start in 0800 hours, man. Go easy on her."

"Oh, I will." Dock beamed, Now, no one could defeat them in the right time frame. They were heroes, and certainly not as ready to face facts as the JLA.

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6:00pm – one and a half hours until sleep deprivation

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"So, I cannot leave the tower?? What if I must return to the mall of shopping for a re –

"Wait until your trial ends Star. I'm human, I did it and you'll be fine after just one night. Nothing is going to go wrong."

She nodded and smiled nervously to her teammate. "You are our leader." She agreed, yet reluctantly to heroic crush. "I know that you will not allow such dangers to befall me as I 'lose' my rest."

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7:45pm

Supper was well made by Cy who was still worried that sleep insomnia Kori would start a nuclear reaction with her powers.

Raven tip toed around the issue, yet they mostly all dreaded the double-digit hours when there was no backing out.

Dick wiped his lip with a napkin and Starfire thanked her friends for having a sit down, not knowing it would be out of pity and maybe their very last supper…

"Just, wait for it…." BB gulped beside Cy, who was like a stony brick in his seat.

Unmoving.

"SHUT UP." He seethed to the green teen, not wanting to imagine himself in deep space or their tower being destroyed by morning.

Robin really was out of his crack pot little mind! If he thought –

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9:37pm

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Beast boy was beyond jittery. Down every corner of the hall, she could pop out like a jack in the box. (Alien reference) An alien from deep space come to steal his –

"What are you doing?"

Raven stood there as Bb suppressed a high scream, his face turning a puckered shade as he finally exhaled.

"Don't DO that, Rave! I almost had my first real heart attack!"

"Is this about Starfire?" Her eye twitched a bit, an indication that she had also been watching her back for flying star bolts.

"UMM…isn't this idea crazy to you?? Starfire always wakes up with the sun in her eyes, and if Robin ruins one day –

"She won't magically combust." The empath deadpanned. "You should prep for it, you might be next to try out our, experiment."

Sneaky as ever, the teasing heroine levitated away, leaving Bb to his horrid thoughts of being strapped down. Cy could be Frankenstein's monster. He was the wolf man. Raven was some old hag, and Robin?

Well, he just sucked the life outta this one good time!

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10:12pm

Robin was working on some old case files in his room, a knock sounded as he set down the last will and testament of Control Freak to see who was up…

"Starfire? Are you –

"I…AM VERY THE BORED….!" Her eye twitched a bit before she slapped her cheeks to stay awake and demand some companionship.

"Will you not tell me how you…stayed up the longest out of us all?"

"Practice." Robin frowned. "I was Robin with Batman as a little kid. I don't think you –

"Yet, I insist! We may play one of Beastboy's obnoxiously loud video games, or deck the cards…. I cannot think of any fun things to do until the pm and the one!"

"OK, ok…for a little while. I'm still cracking a code left by the Titans'…." He sighed. "Rather long list of villains that we've fought this past year…"

"Then…you will stay the up with me and teach me in your wise ways of how to "beat up' the clock?" She asked.

"Yeah, for tonight."

"Glorious! And so, we must make now then craft a very large breakfast for tomorrow!"

"Ah, wait what?! -

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10:45pm

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"First, we must whip up the butter…I will go to locate the –

"Let me!" Robin jumped at the chance to have any kitchen appliances out of Star's hold for tonight. Why didn't he stick with censors and data studies like a normal sleep specialist! This was not a good idea.

"Next, oh! The eggs. Robin? Would you kindly pass me …. twve…two, yes two dorbclorbin eggs from the back of the fridge?"

Robin blinked. "Starfire! Those eggs aren't in the recipe –

"None of the sense!" She grinned at him and giggled along, as if this were a creepy fun house.

"It's starting…" Cy shivered from around the corner as Bb and Raven both joined in to watch.

"Should have stuck to grading papers." Raven tutted, waiting to see what would become of those two crushed teammates.

Just like Star's exotically infused bundt cake.

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11:23pm

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"This…. does not look the correct…. I will need a taste testing volunteer!"

All of the Titans hit the deck, all but Beast boy as he was left at Star's mercy.

And as the last poison squad members to go down in history - still alive and kicking.

For now.

"It…are you sure it doesn't need more time, Starfire?" He meekly wondered. " Looks kind of …mushy…"

He squeaked, his mind turning to goo by having stayed up with his online blog, which was looking pretty bleak by tomorrow.

"You must! If I cannot make the most amazing of earth cakes, how will I ever know that we might be ready for another attack on our tower?? In you go! Do not forget to chew and the swallow!" She chimed, her bags not only showing, yet her hands were not steady as she prodded him in the eye before attempting to wake herself as before.

"NO! BLORTH GOAA! I WILL NOT LOSE! EAT THE CAKE!!!"

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After Beastboy had been resuscitated by Raven and Cy, Robin had to use his stealth tactics to escape their anger. By far, this was turning into a living nightmare. The kitchen was cleaned up, and at this rate they would have all passed his test by –

"We want to go to bed, like forever ago." Bb, Rae and Cy all snuck up on their rather foolish leader as he acted as if this was a part of the process.

Minus the dark circles under his eyes.

" GREBNAX!! I HAVE YET TO FINISH MY "GO THE FISH" GAME!! DOES ANYONE ELSE WISH TO JOIN ME FOR THE LIGHTENING ROUND?"

After having nearly fainted by that call to order, Robin finally relented, and by twelve and a barrage of Star's sleep deprived angst filled star bolts later…. They were all left curled up on the sofa with the sun peeking through at them through the tall glass pane.

"I'm gonna need real …. ugh…Botox to get prettier again…. you ruined me!" Gar snapped at Robin harshly and went to his room to catch up on returning his face to its rightful place, right beside the coolest of heroes and most gorgeous celebrities.

Cy groaned and got up, Raven growling as he almost butted her with his elbow.

"Next time you wanna do one of your crazy tests in MY tower, don't make it like Jason is out ta get us!" He snapped. "Use brain wave tracing and a dang clip board like a normal scientist would... I wouldn't a' said no to that!" Cy barked at their rather groggy team leader. " Not some covert military op tactic from some dude who lives with his butler in a dang cave… yawn…night y'll, I'm out."

Starfire and Raven waved back weakly, Raven rising from the couch dog pile and frowning at what time it was.

"I missed my morning meditation…have to eat lunch and start anyway…joy..." Like a zombie, she just did and didn't overthrow things in a fit.

Robin groaned as Starfire sighed and seemed a bit more restful since that time before. "You as well friend, Robin. Sleep is both important for growing minds and bodies, alike. I will gladly make –

"No, no more cake, Star…" Robin's stomach protested.

Star tried to understand as she peered into deep space. All she'd gotten was a puff of air. No luck.

"I was going to insist on the American style bacon and the eggs, but as you wish…. good….um, the morning and good night to you, then?"

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"Slade, did you think that even as Nightwing I wouldn't forget about you throwing out the idea of losing sleep?" The officer was off duty for now, yet Deathstroke heard his ex-protégé just fine from a mid-height fire escape outside the man's apartment.

"You think it's the only way to lead a person to overcome their sense of security, kid? What if I told you, it was torture? Would you have done it then, just to spite me."

Dick thought back on how that night had just faded into the background. Starfire was with him, they had kids on the way. What more would he have to do to get Slade to come clean for once.

Heck, Deathstroke didn't apologize unless he meant it.

"Forget it. Supper's getting cold." The officer huffed, pulling his keys out and to the lock.

"Keeping one eye open never hurts, not even for the Bat, Grayson." Slade vanished for a bit after that, Dick knowing he used to nap on the job to support his hours and to stay alert as he needed to. Hospitals did that, police too. Wherever there was a crisis in need of tending to.

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In the cave, Damian and his family were brooding over the matter of Tim not passing a certain test the first time around since taking it.

"Sleep test?" Jason hounded him almost curiously.

"Sleep test." Tim groaned in reply, Dick looking up to see that Batman had adjusted his equipment for his next victim.

"It gets better, Timbo. Jace? Go easy on him, will you."

"You are all pathetic if you can't withstand participating in a simple procedure to stay awake into the late night."

"Did you pass B's crazy test then, lil D?"

"I did." Dami huffed and looked to the side distantly. "But not with father. The league of assassins and my mother trained me, as that was my birthrate to surpass my grandfather before father took me in…Stupid Deathstroke; he once rigged the test and mother did not believe me when I told her this."

Dick now had just poured himself a cup of coffee as he instantly choked on his brew by Damian's earliest memories of Deathstroke trying to steal the boy's legacy, sputtering it all over the cave floor.

"He did, what?? Are you sure –

"Mother asked the same question and that bastard just –

"LANGUAGE, son." Bruce must have overheard as Damian craned his neck lower in embarrassment.

"Yes father. I know. Grayson also sputtered coffee all over your equipment like a drooling dog. Should I help him clean that up?"

"Ooh, you got SO burned, Dickie!" Snickered Jason as Tim had to withhold a labored sigh.

"You both need to get some shut eye." Tim rubbed his temples, and for once, the smartest and most fatigued of their family was right on the money.

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