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Chapter 2
Just living to survive
Tobias' POV
I wake up with minutes to spare. I should have been up hours ago. Fucking Eric. Always turning off my shit when I'm not looking. He and I are both in the running for the Teachers Assistant position this year. I guess this is his way to try and get a step ahead of me. It shows how much confidence he has, if he has to go through measures to try and get a leg up on me. Of course, he doesn't know that Tori already told me I got this in the bag, if I want it, that is. Which I haven't decided yet. It definitely would interest me. Although it wouldn't interest my father, that's for sure.
It's been a year since I left Chicago and didn't look back. Cutting all ties with everyone that I loved and cared about… just to protect Tris. My Tris. I wonder how long he will continue to hold this crap over my head for? How long will he expect to run my life? He is very quick to remind me of what he is capable of. What he can so easily get away with back home. Even though I don't expect Tris to hold on, to not move on…. I can't. My heart still hurts when I think of her. My body still longs for hers. My dreams still remember every touch, every sound and all the words that she ever spoke to me. But most of all, I can't have the possibility of having her blood on my hands. Not hers.
So, I keep in line. Cross my T's and dot my I's. I'll do anything to keep her safe. My father knows that. Why be so on point with it all… because I suspect that my father has eyes and ears everywhere. Including on and off campus. Perhaps even in my dorm room. I have suspected as much with my roommate Eric Coulter, maybe once or twice. The way he snoops, asking questions and worse when he tries to sabotage me at every turn he can. No doubt just waiting for that one moment that I fuck up to call Marcus. It would explain how Marcus knows so much while being so far away.
I rush out of my dorm, slamming the door behind me and running down the hall. I glance at my watch, noting that I only have five minutes to get to class. I run a little faster taking a turn a little harder than I should have. Not looking at where my feet are going my body slams hard against something small and hard. I'm stunned when I see an older woman thrown on the floor along with her few belongings.
Homeless people are well known around here. Always looking for the handouts us college kids can give out or even perhaps throw out. It's very well known for these halls to be a scavenger hunt of sorts for the homeless around the end of the year.
I reach out, apologetically for the woman to take my hand. Knowing damn well I will be late for class for sure now, but unable to tear myself from doing the right thing. I try to rush the woman onto her feet. Apologizing as I scramble quickly to explain the rush that I'm in. She understands, kindly smiles. Her smile. Her eyes. So familiar.
"You should run along. I'm alright, son. Thank you." She says, her voice sweet and tender. My heart both breaks and swells all at the same time. Her voice. "Are you alright, boy." She says, with concern filling her voice. I shake my head of the fog that my head seems to be stuck in. "Class." She reminds me. I nod, unable to speak as I wave and start up running once again. I glance back one last time before heading into the literacy building. Noticing that she is still staring back at me.
A week later
I hear a knock on the door, as I finally sit back in my desk chair. It's been three hours since I sat down, my coffee colder than the air outside. My body is stiff with the lack of movement. Hard at work cramming for midterms in a few days. I have a lot to look over.
Deciding my body and mind both need a break; I stand stretching out every limb in my body before walking over to the door. I bend over noticing the folded piece of paper on the floor that someone slipped in under the door. I straighten up, confused at the message.
Meet me tonight.
Same place you saw me last week on the floor.
At the square
At midnight
Come alone.
Who in the hell? Why at midnight? Is this a prank? Sorority maybe? Or worse some chick that wants to hook up with me. It wouldn't be the first time this year that I got weird messages from some chick wanting to get with me. I fought off enough girls, turned them all down flat. Even got asked if I was gay by a few people since I keep denying everyone. But like I told each and every one of them that asked, it's none of their damn business.
But this note, this handwriting… it's familiar somehow. Stopping me from throwing it where it belongs, the trash. I glance at my watch, another hour to kill till midnight. I nod my head, knowing damn well my curiosity will get the best of me with this one. I need to know who this is.
For a split second I wonder if this is Marcus. But why… a trick? For a split second the image of Tris comes to mind. I know I have to go.
I arrive with minutes to spare. Choosing a hidden corner within the shadows, I keep my eyes on the center of the square, waiting to see who will show up. If this is a trick, if it's Marcus… I'll know before he sets his eyes on me.
I might be at his will. But I will not walk into the flames of fire without some kind of extinguisher.
My eyebrows crease, as confusion hits me. My eyes find a woman walking slowly up to the square. Looking around, as if she is searching for someone. Searching for me. She pushes a large shopping cart that is filled with blankets and what I could only imagine is all her belongings that she has. That's when I recognize who she is. The woman that I knocked down last week. The woman that seemed familiar to me, but I couldn't put a finger on where from.
I finally decide to step out of the shadows. Deciding that there is no possible way that she could be a threat. Her eyes find me quickly, she instantly smiles at me. As if I'm the one thing in the world to make her smile. To make her happy.
An image comes to mind. The same woman is crying, sitting on the floor broken. She has tears running down her face. The moment she sees me, tiptoeing to her she instantly wipes her tears away, forcing a gentle smile on her face. That's when it all comes together.
Only the woman I imagine was younger, thinner and definitely weaker looking. She had gentle hands and eyes that sparkled for me even in her worst times.
My feet stop moving forward the moment I realize who is standing in the center of the square. The woman that I knocked over last week, the woman that I had such a familiar feeling towards but couldn't pinpoint who she was... Because she couldn't possibly be my mother. The woman I lost so long ago when I was nine. My mother, who Marcus supposedly beat to death and covered it up.
"Tobias." The woman says, with the same gentle loving tone she once used on me as a child. My heart both breaks and swells at the same time. How? How is this possible? How is she alive, standing here healthier than ever right in front of me? A part of me, the child that died the day I lost her wants nothing more than to jump out and grab onto her. To hug her and never let her go. But the other side of me, the logical, abused, and grown-up part of me boils with nothing but rage. She is alive. She never came for me. She never saved me. My own mother.
How many times did I wish for her? How many times did I dream that she would come for me, rescue me, protect me from my Monster of a father. And here she is… alive and well and more capable of protecting me more than anything. She didn't. She left me. Cowardly left her child in the hands of a monster.
I think of the abuse I have suffered over the past ten years, no thanks to her. I think of the loss, the fight that I continue to suffer to protect Tris. The lengths I have gone through because I love her. My own mother couldn't do the same for me. Her own son.
"Don't Tobias me," I spit out. Beginning to leave, I turn my body around heading back to my dorm. Choosing to not waste another minute with the woman that turned her back on me and didn't bother to look back.
"Please. Tobias. Let me explain, please. Your father-" She begins, her voice breaking at the idea that I don't want anything to do with her. But what did she expect?
"My FATHER!" I scream, cutting her short.
"My father made my life a living nightmare. My father made sure that all lessons fell upon me. My father… who up till now I thought was the worst person there could ever be," I say, looking at this woman with nothing but sheer disgust. "Until now that is," I say, my feet taking large steps to escape this situation as fast as I can.
"Please. You don't understand. He was going to kill me. He tried. A friend helped me escape." She says, trying to explain in a quick tone.
"Kill you?" I spit out, angrier than I have ever been before in my life. I turn around, pointing my finger at her as I continue, "Kill you? Do you have any idea how many times he came close to doing that to me? How many times I wish he had succeeded. The shit that I have had to deal with, that I'm still dealing with… No. You don't. You left and didn't look back. Your own flesh and blood," I blurt out. Hating every second I'm this close to her. She was better off letting me think she was dead. Everything that she said. Every moment she gave me. It was all a lie.
I turn my back on her for a second time, yelling at her over my shoulder as I do. "You should have stayed dead."
A/N
We are so pleased that everyone is still here with us and loving this new story. Welcome back and thank you all so much for the continued love and support that we are receiving.
Revised by: FDFobsessed
Like always, happy reading, stay healthy and be safe.
Trini
