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The truth will set you free

Chapter 18

Tobias' POV

Last time on A second chance at Love…

I let Tris guide the way as we took a seat on a nearby bench from where we got our drinks. I try so desperately not to stare at her. The woman that I've loved for more than half my life. I loved her for so long, never having the guts to tell her until that one night when the same feelings were staring back at me through her beautiful eyes. And it's hard not to stare at the same eyes that once held so much love for me. So I just stare at the open field before us. The green grass, the laughing children that are running around, the happy couples that seem to be enjoying a picnic or just enjoying each other. The irony doesn't escape me.

"So?" Tris begins, pausing for an awkward moment.

I suppose I should be the one to speak first, to come out with what really happened. What lies had to be told, what lies had to be kept from her. And I hear Zeke's voice from the other night, telling me to be straight with her, to tell her everything and not to hold back.

"Tris, I'm sorry. I'm sorry for a lot of things." I start, "in all honesty I guess I don't know exactly where to start. There's just so much to say."

"How about the beginning?" Tris suggested. I nod, agreeing that that would be the best place to start, but which beginning, my beginning or her beginning, the moment I was born into a world that nobody wanted me, or a world where I wanted to be perfect for her.


"I guess I should start off by telling you the truth about my childhood… It wasn't always as perfect as many people thought it was."

"I never thought you had a perfect childhood. I wasn't blind, but I didn't know the truth. So what really happened?" Tris says, I noticed the candor in Christina must be rubbing off on Tris after all these years.

"Fair enough." I did show her the chasm after all, exploring it was my place to go when shit hit the fan at home. " From the moment I can remember my father always beat my mother and treated her like garbage at every chance he could." I hear a gasp from Tris as I reveal my true past. " When I was nine I remember being locked in my room, unable to get out and hearing my mothers cries. The next morning they told me that she had died, only there were two sides of that story… The one that was public, which you know, she died giving birth to what would've been my brother. But the true story, the story that no one knows or at least is supposed to know… is that he beat her to death. Or so I thought." I explain, leaving the part out that my mother actually arranged to fake her death in order to get away. Choosing to leave, not only my father, but me, with a monster.

"Tobias." Tris whispers, her voice full of sympathy.

"That was when things took a turn for the worst at home for me. Not even a few days after my mothers death, did he deliver the first blow? You remember the marks on my back?" I ask, letting my eyes linger into the space before us. I refused to look at her, not wanting to look like I'm a kicked puppy or something on her face.

"Yes." She answers softly.

"That wasn't from a car accident. It was from years of being beaten by his belt. Zeke knew all about it I think even his mother knew as well. She often made sure I had more than enough to eat when I was at her house and always sent me home with leftovers in a bag versus a tupperware container and any utensils and extra napkins I would need. As if she knew that I had to hide it for later. My father would lock me in a closet and leave me there for days at a time with no food or water, only letting me out when the liquor wore off and he remembered he had a kid." I take a deep breath before I continue, hating every second I have to do this. " My father always told me that things could get a lot worse if people found out the truth and I didn't want to find out how much worse it could get. So I kept it to myself. The only reason why Zeke knew was because he accidentally saw the blood one day at school and he helped cover for me. I also didn't want to see that kicked puppy look on people's faces… I don't think I could stand it if I ever saw it, especially on your face. So I kept it to myself doing the best I could, knowing that one day I would get out, only I never did get out." I brace myself as I speak the next part. "He found out about you," I admit. "I don't know how… But he did. He waited for me the last time we were together… He cornered me, knowing exactly what to say and how I would react. I never understood the point of rushing me out of town that night. That is until the night I went through his things." I pause looking up at Tris for the first time, her face blank, expressionless. "I found this… file…on both you and Emily. He knew everything. He had dates, times and pictures of the both of you. He kept tabs on you both." I focus my attention on my hands, rubbing them together. "He kept records of everything, Tris." I look up seeing confusion on her face. She doesn't understand.

"But your letter?" She asks, letting her words trail off. I wince remembering every word I wrote to her. Every hateful thing. I know I have to make up for it. Explain why I wrote it. I guess I was right… I knew exactly what to write to push her away. What I have trouble seeing is how easy it was for her to believe it. Didn't I show her how much I loved her with every touch, every word and every moment we shared. Obviously I didn't do a good enough job. Not if one letter tore her faith in me.

"That letter was all bogus, Tris," I say. Ready to spill my guts out to her. "I had to protect you. Get you to believe that I didn't want you so you wouldn't come looking for me." Her mouth drops open as a tear escapes her eyes. All these years she believed that I would want anyone but her. "Marcus threatened to hurt you if I didn't leave immediately." I said to clear things up for her. Reaching out my hand to wipe away her tears. My heart breaks to see the pain I caused her. The pain Marcus caused her. "I couldn't allow him to see you. I had to do whatever it took to keep you safe."

" You never told me." She points out. I watch the emotions in her eyes change before me. From sorrow to heart broken and then to anger. "You just left me clueless and alone." She spits out. "To fend for myself. What if Marcus would have wanted her. What if he would have taken his shit out on her… You left me blind without so much of a warning." Her voice scolds me like I'm a child.

"Tris… I couldn't tell you," I say, calmly.

"Oh bullshit." She spits out, chuckling at the end. "There I was… Thinking we didn't keep secrets. All the while that is exactly what you were doing… Was everything a lie?" She scolds me. I can see that this is just the beginning

"I only kept what I needed to keep away from you to keep you safe." I corrected her.

"No. You mean enough to keep who you really were safe." She insists. "You could have told me… You could of given me some kind of heads up. But you didn't. You just left me… blind." She continues, "God, what you went through… Emily could have easily been subjected to that. What if Marcus would have fought to see her?"

I nod my head, hating to think of the thought of Marcus even laying a hand on Emily. I know Tris is right… I left her completely blind. Thinking I was doing right by her, I was actually doing the exact opposite. I think about the file, full of countless dates and times and pictures. Knowing damn well that she is right. He was capable of doing all that, he was capable of hurting Emily and Tris too. My mind thinks of the worst that could have happened… I wouldn't be the wiser, hell I would have never known. I sigh loudly, shaking my head and looking around. Maybe there is no coming back from this. Perhaps the best thing I could have done was to still be gone after so long.

Movement from the corner of my eye gets my attention, just as I watch Tris frustrated and stand up from the bench. I quickly follow her, refusing to let her get away from me so easily.

"Tris, please. We have-" I begin to stutter.

"I feel like I don't even know you." She blurts out, her voice laced with anger.

"Come on, Tris. You knew me better than anyone… Better than Zeke," I corrected her, I reached out grasping for her elbow gently as I turned her towards me. I get that she is angry, she has every right to be. But that doesn't mean she can underwrite what we really shared together.

"Really? I doubt that." She says, turning from me while pulling her arm out of my hand.

"Then maybe we should start over… Get to know each other again." I desperately suggest. I can't just walk away… No, not now.

"What?" She asks, surprised at my suggestion. "Did you forget we have Emily to think about? I think we are past starting over." She scolds me.

"Tris." I whisper, my voice sounding exhausted. "What more can I do? What more can we do? I can't change the past," I pointed out. There's no turning back, we just have to figure out how to move forward.

"What do you suggest?" She asks, crossing her arms across her chest after she tosses her empty cup into the nearby trash.

"Time." I simply say.

"Time for me… and for you to figure this out. We can, Tris," I say, on the verge of begging.

"I let go of the thought of you and me being together a long time ago…" She says, finally letting a wall down. I see the hurt that she carries from me in her eyes. I want nothing more than to make it all go away.

"But I never did," I confess. I still love you, Tris. I always have and I always will.

"So where do we go from here?" She asks. I can see how vulnerable she is. I see all of her, the pieces that changed since I left and the pieces of her that are still there, that I fell in love with. Even the flames in her eyes that always shined so bright.

"How does Chuck E Cheese sound?" I ask.


A/N

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Revised by: FDFobsessed

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Trini