Chapter 3 - Cage
She has always wondered about Sunny, the pet parakeet, who boasts a stunning array of colours that mimic the hues of a vibrant sunset. Back in Arizona, their next door neighbour, Mrs Norris, keeps the beautiful bird in a big white cage. The first time Bella saw it, she had the impression that the bird led a fancy life.
Premium breakfasts and dinners, pristine water, evening strolls with her human; Sunny's life seemed perfect. Two of them, Sunny and Mrs Norris, were like peas in a pod, doing everything together. Mrs Norris rarely leaves the house except when needs be and even then, Sunny will be accompanied by a professional bird sitter. Only the best for Sunny!
Bella was always curious if the bird had desires of leaving to live with its own flock. If it did, the bird would never show it. She's amazed and curious at how trusting the two were; Mrs Norris would release it in her backyard, and Sunny would always come back. It was as if they both were tied to an invisible string that tethered them for life. One day Bella found it in her to ask the question in mind.
"Aren't you afraid Sunny will never come back?"
"Bella, by now, we are codependent on each other. Sunny knows she isn't capable of surviving out there. In return for her loyalty, I care for her to the best of my ability. Letting her wander outside is a reminder of how unpredictable and dangerous the outside world could be."
"Bella…" a worried voice interrupted her train of thoughts.
Ever since they stepped into the room, Bella is reminded yet again of the pain she's had to go through when every single Cullen decided to abandon her. There are so many things running in her head; questions that need to be answered. But then again, what happened earlier is an ordeal itself which needs processing so Bella doesn't have neither the brain space, nor the strength it will take to face it head on.
Alice has been trying to initiate a conversation with her for the past fifteen minutes but to no avail. Bella would only respond in a humm or a one word sentence. It stings. When seven months ago Alice would always be her go-to-person, to now being treated in silence. But Alice swallows it all down because she knows the errors of her ways, even when she has good reasons for it. She, of all people, understands that Bella requires more time so Alice will provide Bella with what she needs.
About four months ago, when visions of Bella became heart-wrenching to see, Alice took Jasper's advice and lessened the frequency of trying to see her future. But now that they've come into contact six months later, Alice is filled with regrets. When she showed up at the Swan residence, Alice was finally able to see how their leaving had been unkind to the person she claimed to be her best friend.
Leaning against the window pane and staring outside into nothing, Alice finally sees the truth she was trying to avoid. They killed her inside. Bella's hair seems longer but unkempt. There isn't a single trace of a smile on her face, and Alice suspects there's not even the ghost of it in the recent months. Her once slender body looks like it voids nutrients an 18-year old human should have. What breaks Alice the most is how dull and hollow her eyes seem, where once they were filled with joy and life.
She knows they did this to her. And she went along with it.
Their family doesn't deserve Bella's kindness. She of course remembers how shocked and joyful Bella was when Alice showed up. There was a bit of hesitancy in the beginning but it all dissipated into thin air when Alice told Bella of Edward's suicidal plan. Disregarding her emotional being and Jacob's pleading, Bella jumped in the car and made the decision to save the guy who tore her heart into pieces.
"You need to eat," Alice brought the tray of food into Bella's view. "And don't say you're not hungry cause I know your stomach won't agree with you." She hinted at her vision of Bella's stomach growling.
Bella caresses her stomach, knowing Alice is right. So she accepts the offer and heads to the dining table. She almost forgot to take her medicine so she hurries and stuffs a fair amount of food before popping her prescription. Alice's eyes are sharp with every one of Bella's movements; only bulging, noticing the medicine, and her heart sinks further in the abyss that is guilt.
"Alprazolam?" It slipped from her lips and Alice soon regretted asking her such a private question. But she cares too deeply and she cannot restrain herself from asking.
"It helps; during emergencies like this," Bella answered nonchalantly, not wanting to explain herself any further.
Normally the wait will drive any humans crazy but not Bella. After her fourth month of waiting for Cullens' return and only to be met with agonising pain, she learned that sometimes it's alright to let go. Despite all the simulations in her head of how she could have done better to maybe make them not leave her, it was simply out of her control. Growing up with Renee and now staying with Charlie had made her wise but it couldn't prepare her for the agony of being blessed with a loving family like the Cullens, and then to be abandoned like her existence hadn't mattered. She now understands that there's not much use in mulling over those questions and being frustrated when the answer does not come instantly.
"Bella, I'm so sorry. I didn't know…," Alice opened the gate.
The human knew it would come but she didn't think Alice would want to have the conversation now, while they're waiting on Volturi's decision to either let them live or proceed to execute them.
"I'd rather not talk about this now," Bella signalled to the door, trying to remind Alice that the guards are within vampiric earshot. They've seen and heard enough of Bella's life, they do not need to know more about the wounds in her soul.
Alice is taken aback by the strange anger in Bella's voice. She knows the human has every right to be angry and frustrated, she has anticipated the lashing out. But it doesn't make this any easier.
But nonetheless, she appreciates Bella's steering of the conversation, "Is Edward okay?"
Her face scrunches, picturing how dark, cold and barren it would be. But then again, this is the vampire world - it may be worse than she could have imagined. Or it wouldn't be more than just a small inconvenience to her ex-boyfriend.
Alice looks into it and assures Bella her brother is fine. If Rosalie were here, she'd laugh and say Edward deserves it. Alice would agree.
"There's nothing going on between Jacob and I, by the way. He did try to kiss me but I reminded him that he will only ever be my friend, nothing more," Bella once again changed the subject.
She's relieved. She believes Bella deserves so much more than that. Not to mention the complications that would arise if Bella had started something romantic with the pup when she just met her real mate, Heidi, not an hour ago. Put Alice's idiotic brother into that dynamic and it would have snowed in summer.
Alice still isn't sure how things will play out as Heidi still hasn't made any big decisions considering how new it all is, and Bella is still unaware of their mating bond. But earlier, she did see a future where Heidi will risk her life to protect Bella, even if she were to die.
Heidi may be one of the elite guards but to stand to Felix of all the guards, was a ballsy move. Alice has never seen or heard of Heidi's fighting skills, but she's been told of the ruthless Felix. All vampires know him to be the Executioner, the one to deliver fatal punishments under Volturi's order. If any vampire were to cross his path, they'd know instantly that Death awaits them. So it was truly impressive how Heidi stood up for Bella, even if it could have cost her her life. And Heidi didn't even bat an eye.
"Never underestimate a vampire when they're protecting their mate," Eleazar had once told her.
Having Heidi on Bella's side does change things; it increases the odds of Bella's survival. Bella may not walk out of here as a free human but there's no doubt Heidi will be the first in line to lay her life to protect her. That gives Alice some relief.
The door suddenly opens and Alice's presence is requested by Aro. Bella's hands start to tremble so she jumps at Alice, giving her an encouraging hug. Alice is worried, leaving Bella alone here with all the red eye vampires nearby but Aro gave them their word upon Heidi's insistence. She has some faith that Bella will not be harmed since she is still able to see Bella's future, "You'll be okay."
And when the door is shut, and she finishes counting to one hundred, Bella lets her walls down and unlocks all the emotions she held at bay. Her legs tremble, losing her last strength and she crumbles onto the floor. Tears flood her face, her shoulders heaving with every wave of sob that arrives. She clutches her chest as if it could help hold her heavy and stormy heart.
She knows that all the nearby guards would have heard her cry but Bella no longer has the strength or will to fight it anymore. This is what she needs now and she's no longer going to let her soul be deprived of it. A small but sinister voice comes over her, chastising her about her decision to rescue Edward.
Does he even need rescuing? Would it have been better for her if he had died? But he seemed so happy to learn that she's alive. Then, he confessed that he had lied about not loving her and accusing her of believing his lie so easily.
The audacity.
"You just don't belong in my world, Bella."
"Bella, I don't want you to come."
"It's not about your soul. You're just not good for me."
Another wave of heartache washes over her. His words were like blades and bullets that had the sole purpose of wounding Bella's heart and shattering her self-esteem.
She impossibly tries to fight them off, by pulling happy memories of her parents, her friends, and even her grades. But the demons have always been too strong; their grip on her was too deep and menacing. When she tries to cut it loose, the tighter they claw on her, ripping away the small ball of light she has left in her heart.
Right now, more than ever, she feels like Mrs Norris' bird, trapped in this castle, waiting for her fate to be sealed. Either it will be a death sentence waiting for her at the hands of the Volturi, or she will be trapped in the same old situation, where Edwards keeps pulling the strings to her feathers and locks her in the fancy cage he calls love.
A/N: I don't always plan my stories, they would just come to me. Yesterday I tried to lay out the outline of this story and I had it drafted. But when I started writing, I just followed the voice in my head and thus, the birth of this chapter. So, welcome to another unplanned and adventurous ride with me.
