25. Sadness Is blue
Somin, Mia and Teho
Fortunately, the day went by quickly with no sign of Cholsu. I got lucky this week.
Somin tried to lift her spirits, but on the way to the dorm, sadness caught up with her again. Where there's sadness you can also find artistic intention. She stopped by the liquor store and bought honey whiskey.
That will do, I have to loosen up a bit. That's what he said.
Recalling Teho's hurtful words as she drank, her tears adding saltiness to the honey flavor.
Her mind kept circling back to Teho's attitude, then Cholsu's coldness. Before stepping into the flat, she had already downed four shots. Warmness from the booze spread throughout her body.
Will I cry every time I think of him? How boring. Boo hoo.
The alcohol pushed a different question to the forefront.
Was it even fair? Am I really that boring?
Even with all of her usual self-loathing she always thought about herself as a witty and daring girl. At least with people she was close to. Cholsu's words made her doubt everything and the end of their relationship made her more wary in choosing words, but their conversations hadn't always been so dry. Somin reminded herself of their first text exchange.
...
"Beep"
Cholsu: I'd like to schedule a painting session with you as we discussed before. What do you say about tomorrow?
Cholsu's text offered bluntly, stating his interest in the young girl plain and simple.
Somin: No.
The naive girl replied cheekily, imagining his face confused by her denial.
Somin: The day after tomorrow is better.
Somin's second text clarified a heartbeat later.
Nothing.
He's probably pissed, god damn. So she continued boldly.
Somin: When do you wanna meet, Mr. Min?
...
Texts lit up Cholsu's cell while he was still working in his studio, fingers covered in clay.
"Hey Siri, open my message," the older boy said and continued sculpting.
Mr. Min, pfff, she's mocking me. Cholsu laughed a bit, entertained by the teenage girl.
Cholsu: You'll need much more educating Ms. Lee, so it seems. I'll get you after your last class.
He sent back, hoping he matched her brash behavior.
Somin: Four o'clock it is. I guess I'll be the teacher here, since if I remember correctly, sculpture is your weapon of choice.
Somin was nervous, maybe she crossed the line by being too informal with him.
Cholsu: Your memory is impeccable.
It was all he wrote back.
I hope she could read the sarcasm between the lines. He thought, smiling at her replies. He sat down to take a break..
Somin: I'm curious if you are able to draw at all.
Somin teased him shamelessly, being much more confident when it came to written conversation. She hoped she was still on the safer side of joking.
Cholsu: Now I have even higher expectations from you, being this bold with a senior.
He laughed to himself.
She's such a pup. It felt fresh and exciting.
She's hadn't cared for his status or position. The first person in a while who hadn't tried to crawl up his ass.
Somin: I, on the other hand, have no expectations at all.
She couldn't stop.
Cholsu: We should have a lesson about manners instead, miss. Maybe I'll bring the much needed corrective equipment with me and teach you how to show respect.
He sensed "mic drop" from this line. Maybe he got overboard with the kinky metaphor, she was quite young. He was prepared to apologize when the cell lit up.
Somin: Alright, I'll bring pepper spray, Mr. Etiquette. It'll be a double effort class then.
She laughed from her bed in the dorms on the other side of town.
I'm such a baddie.
Young Somin's stomach fluttered with love. This accomplished older boy was interested in her.
Why?
It flattered her immensely.
Why not?
There seemed to be no limits back then.
...
Mia wasn't home yet and Somin at least had the safety of her drunken solitude.
Loud music blasted from a closed room as she started to paint to relieve herself of misery from that melancholic memoryk. Alcohol helped to clear her bothered soul, revealing the throbbing flow of inspiration underneath it all. She had nothing specific in mind, so her arm moved automatically, manifesting her feelings with bold strokes of a big brush and a thick layer of blue paint.
Sadness is blue.
...
Time flew by and soon, Teho accompanied Mia on their way to dorms. He met the lovely dancer just as he finished his usual stroll, scouting for new places in the city. There were plenty of fresh perspectives to think about. After the clumsy take-off with the girls, he reveled in the silence of the metropol's structures.
"Do you have any plans for dinner?" Teho asked, walking by Mia's side to her apartment.
"I'll eat with Somin," she said.
"I doubt she'll go out and I want to be with her before I bless the city with my presence," Mia answered, thinking about an exciting night with her new school girlfriends.
...
Dance your worry away.
Mia was taken aback by the tense atmosphere with her new flatmate. She felt hopeless, desperate to help but not knowing how. She also needed to keep herself in a good space, allow herself to feel alive. Be a supportive friend yet carefree with her own time. The dichotomy split her happy mind and she didn't know how to proceed. Be happy and be there. Not get dragged down by her empathy, but give enough to help Somin.
Food for thought. Mia noted.
...
"Do you think I can join you guys? I don't wanna be a third wheel, but I'd like to smooth things out with her more. It still feels weird," Teho pleaded.
The dinner disguised his extreme curiosity about the mysterious circumstances of Mia's emotion-ridden roommate.
"Let's try, I guess you owe her," she said while launching a meal app and filling out options on her phone.
Softening these social edges was her speciality.
"I wanna pay," Teho demanded.
"I'll let you," Mia agreed, handing him her phone.
"Do you know what her problem is?" Teho asked, while putting in his card details with thoughts of "investment for the future."
"She got dumped by some senior. I don't know any more than that," Mia shrugged while he opened the dorm door for her and the familiar smile of the keeper widened at her.
Gotta find out who the mysterious ex is. That information changed things.
Well fuck, now my comments seem much worse. He realized.
Loud cries of heart-tearing lyrics greeted them from the hall, exclaiming:
...I'm sorry every song's about you. The torture of small talk with someone you used to love...
"That's some intense pain," Teho remarked in a shock from the break up rumor. He was deafened by the music as Mia unlocked the door.
"You're right," Mia acknowledged and went straight to the kitchen counter.
She left her bag by the shoes and put the kettle on for chamomile tea, thinking it could help Somin calm her nerves and show her roommate that she cares. Mia's mum had always brought her the same tea, when the young dancer had her own share of heartache.
...
I'll tend to my new roommate, sister maybe? Mia hoped.
Her "only child" background made her flutter. It was different from everything she'd experienced so far. Most of her relationships were just shallow, but comfortable in numbers of people who cared for her. Yet the living together with Somin was intense on a whole nother level. The pink-haired girl was now the one seeing Mia, even naked, at her most vulnerable. The possibility of a sibling-like connection was what Mia craved.
The gorgeous dancer was taken back by this situation.
I have been there.
Even though she would never ever admit it out loud.
She was proud to be the one always breaking up with others. On the other hand it hadn't meant she wasn't heart broken by it.
To see the end of the relationship first is equally painful.
The face of a beautiful blonde girl with dark eyes came to her mind yet again.
Not now, please.
Mia had a deep understanding of Somin's state of mind.
...
Teho just stood in the flat's narrow hall shocked.
How can you miss someone that much?
...
😳 Author's corner 😊
💧 How do you deal with grief? 💧
...
🎨Illustrations of each chapter are available on my Wattpad acc, AO3 acc -klubickoArt🎨
