33. Smeared Lipstick

Somin, Mia and Teho

So far the week was promising. Somin felt a resurgence of energy after so long feeling exhausted. She even went to the nearest bookstore to treat herself to a new romance novel.

I deserve it. Somin's inner iron fist loosened a bit of its painful grasp on her mind.

The lonely girl smiled, finally finishing her previous book after chatting with Teho. She was mad he borrowed the book without her knowing, but she was mostly jealous he finished it first and the fact that he read it at all astounded her.

Is he more than a pretty face and obnoxious jokes?

She smiled to herself and bought three more books.

"Astounding Lover"

Cheesy, but why not.

Let's give it a try. Maybe the male lead will be more sympathetic than Jeff.

"Best of Me"

Quite quirky. Hopefully, a fluffy romance.

Finally, she picked up the new bestseller.

"Blue Side"

It sounded more serious.

If anybody dies in it I'm throwing it out. I'm not ready for a second heartbreak.

The walk back home was almost dream-like. The clouds got a kitsch pinkish orange glow and if you had dared to draw it, you'd be damned by your art teacher for lack of taste.

Somin stopped at a newly discovered coffee shop on her route home and decided to enjoy a strong flat white in its garden, basking in the faint sunlight and starting to read. She envied the heroine right away.

How come she's so accomplished and there's me who literally doesn't know what to do with my life? Why do these women always live in New York and after graduation get the job of their dreams immediately? How do they do it?

She sipped her coffee, wondering who the love interest would be this time.

Some brooding, extremely hot, incredibly young CEO? A coworker who's an artist in his private time? Long lost friend? A well-known celebrity with a secret kink?

Her heart raced a little bit more from the afternoon caffeine. After two teapots of strong earl gray at school with Junu, Somin got two additional coffees and just hoped her body would deal with it.

So it happened, that when she finally unlocked the door to her flat, she crashed from the caffeine. Somin barged into her flat's hall with shoes scattered by the entrance door. Her heart pumped like crazy and her head was light, not entirely like after a binge, but in a more "am I having a heart attack?" kind of way.

Somin squinted her eyes to see too many legs dangling off the sofa which was directly opposite her. Its back faced her like it was hiding a treasure. Stressed, she shut the door with force, hoping to scare the hidden lovers out of their entanglement. Her mood was dropping rapidly.

Well, I'm never the heroine, fuck that.

It stung her heart a little, almost like a betrayal.

Nobody owes me anything.

Somin felt sick when a mop of messy raven hair popped over the edge of the sofa, looking in the direction of the sound. His appearance prompted as strong a feeling as her recent breakup—a gut-wrenching, heart-lurching feeling. His chest was bare, warm in the soft light of the room; cheeks flushed with adorable pink as he smiled guiltily but without much care. His lips were smudged bright pink with lipstick.

Fuck my life. Somin had had enough.

Filling her mind with that romance nonsense and crashing on caffeine hadn't helped anything.

Pain shot down Somin's spine, "Can you at least fuck in the bedroom?" she yelled. All of her misfortune and frustration materialized here.

The dark hole in her aching heart widened; craving love and intimacy herself. A single bitter tear rolled down her cheek as she tried to restore her composure despite feeling horrific because of everything going on.

Mia stood abruptly, "Oh, don't cry Somin-ssi!" She ran to the small girl and hugged her.

Tangled hair sexily framed her face, like some model before shooting a cover for a famous magazine. Lips swollen from the kissing, black and white stripe bra exposed, and smeared lipstick gave her this aura of some contemporary artwork. Her flowy pink skirt with a slit showed off her toned legs.

Almost like some amazonian warrior. Somin was stunned.

So beautiful, even now, that's just impossible.

"He's on his way out... right, Teho?" Mia said as the disheveled boy shot her a baffled look, putting his fitting black shirt on, all while looking irresistible.

"Am I?" The disbelief in his voice made Somin grin as she got a glimpse of his stomach and very lean build. Seeing a fragment of his bare skin heated her cheeks up.

Somin panicked when the need for intimacy peeked from beneath.

Her heart and mind were a mess of self-loathing triggered by the breakup, then accepting that it was over and crushing unexpectedly on another guy.

"Fuck, I won't ruin your date. I'll just, I dunno... paint in my room, right?"

Mia looked at her guiltily.

"I'll put the music on loud so you don't have to worry," Somin tried against her better judgment.

I don't want to do it. Please, go away. The sad girl was on the brink of another panic attack.

"We should do something together," Mia offered.

"I'm not feeling well. I.. won't bother you," Somin said, ready to hide in her room.

"No, no, no..," Mia started, "No hiding, no feeling bad." The lovely girl started to be triggered herself seeing Somin on the outskirts of life.

Teho stood there, brushing his hair, watching this exchange in awe.

"Dinner, he's paying," Mia decided.

"I should have picked up more freelance work," he laughed nervously. The dinners were becoming more and more pricey.

"I'm perfectly capable of paying for myself, but I really feel sick," Somin finished.

"Are you drunk again?" Teho asked worriedly.

"You really drink too much," he meant it well, but at that moment it sounded wrong.

"Fuck you," Somin left to her room.

"Hey that wasn't the best time to bring it up," Mia shot him a look.

"I'm genuinely worried," Teho said.

"Meet us in an hour, we'll go out for dinner," Mia promised.

"Are you sure?" Teho asked.

"Yeah, I am. She'll go out and drink soda with all of us," Mia said, hinting it would be a nonalcoholic night and he nodded.

The awkward silence set in when Teho stopped in the door frame, not knowing if he should thank her or comment somehow on the alone time they had had.

"Just go, that's alright. You were nice," Mia caught on to it and set him free.

It all felt really good until Somin came back and complicated everything for him with her presence.

I don't even know how to feel. Teho thought, sitting on his bed later.

...

"Beep"

Another text from Teho made a mess of Somin's mind.

Why is he texting me this late at night?

Teho: Hi friend, I just wanna apologize for you know... today. It wasn't my intention to upset you.

Is he sarcastic or genuine? Somin couldn't tell.

Somin: I'll cope. Just be good to Mia, that's all I ask.

Somin replied, feeling sick to her stomach with nothing less than jealousy.

Somin: It's triggering because of my breakup, you have nothing to do with it.

She couldn't help but add an angsty reply.

Fuck, why do I sound so immature? Somin immediately regretted it.

"Beep"

Teho: Even a little bit?

The cocky question made Somin more mad. She shoved her phone far away, not willing to be dragged into the conversation. But in the morning, another message waited for her.

Teho: Your silence tells me everything I need to know. You know that, right?

You're such an asshole.

...

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