55. Secrets Well Hidden

Somin and Teho

"You drink too much," he dared to confront her when they reached half of the thermos.

"You talk too much," she shot right back at him and they both laughed.

"Touché." He sipped. "Hmm, it's strong but tasty. Too sweet for my taste, like you don't wanna have any teeth left," he joked, alcohol slowly going to his head, drinking on a practically empty stomach.

"Imagine how beautiful my smile would be?" She chuckled with that image in her head and he laughed.

I'd love to spend more time like this with her. It seems so easy. Teho reveled in the simplicity of this moment.

Somin's head got pleasantly light and it was suddenly much easier to talk to him.

"Teho-ssi is this really your tree?" she investigated, disbelief in her voice.

"Uhm. You must have seen for yourself, it's far more impressive than the others."
She nodded, exchanging and refilling the cup.

"I like he's further from the road, but not too far away from the dorms. I can relax, observe the surroundings and think. I love the sturdy branches and the perfect shape he overall has." The boy let her in and when she looked dumbfounded he continued.

"We have a pretty big garden back home with lots of old trees and I'm used to climbing them for fun. Not that I need it now as much as when I was a kid, but hey, change feels good sometimes. Reliving the childhood care-free mindset, permitting myself to not be an adult for a moment." She nodded.

Surprised at the paradox of how he came across and what the wondrous boy held inside.

"Well, it's not like being a student is the same as being on your own, if you get me. But still, now we have our chance to prove ourselves before entering the job market for real and I just wanna be untroubled sometimes, you know. Get off the grind and go off the grid," he explained.

"I know, but I feel time is escaping me. I should work on my portfolio, learning as much skill as I can, but at the same time enjoying this time when supposedly everything is just easy..." Somin said, feeling the rush of stress again.

"...do you feel the easiness? 'Because I don't, I'm stressed out of my mind. For what the future holds, for the art or lack of it. Will I be able to make it?" She fidgeted her fingers, digging into the skin near the nail with that rush of tension, wanting to bite it.

...

"Don't tear the skin, try to dig into your palms or press the top of your fingertips Ms. Lee, to release the stress, not to hurt yourself," the voice of Dr. Jansen advised.

Somin recalled his empathic stare.

...

"That's why it's important to just be and do silly shit from time to time." Teho smiled and observed her hands.

Daring, he reached out and covered them with his palm, freeing her from the painful clenching.

"You're so different than usual," she let out while Teho gently massaged her stiff hands, making them warm.

"Are you gonna judge me again?" he questioned her.

"I'll judge you for sure, you can bet on it." She hid her feelings in banter.

"I tell everybody how fucking weird you are. Oh, Teho? He doesn't even want to be an adult!" she mocked him playfully.

"They aren't gonna believe you anyway. I hide my secrets well," he winked, letting her know this was special, sipping the wine again.

They basked in the soft sunrays, eyes closed, listening to the ambiance of nature.

"Jeez Somin-ssi, how much did you bring to just drink by yourself?" he enunciated carefully, feeling the tongue-twisting.

"Enough for me to see the Astounding lover," she admitted and he spat in bewilderment.

"You can't say things like that when I drink, god," he laughed, "You gonna get me choked."

The whole atmosphere was so relaxed they just kept laughing. Somin teared up from the neverending smiling and at that moment life felt good to live.

I want to feel this free often.

"Stop laughing, I don't wanna fall," Teho pleaded, tears in his eyes too.

"I have a personal question," she dared.

I'm gonna make a fool out of myself.

Teho sharpened his focus through the mist in his head, hoping to receive a possible confession.

That's why she's making us drunk, right? The boy hoped.

"Do tell," he encouraged.

Tell me you're infatuated by me. He was full of expectation.

Another set of laughter and more refills helped her focus.

"Dang, that's all." She stared at the bottom of an empty thermos.

Teho pushed her, "What did you want to ask?"

She drunkenly put her fingers to her lips and pointed at a blackbird in the grass, smothering a chuckle she whispered.

"If you were a bird what would you say to attract a lady bird?"

I'm dumb. Somin happily thought.

What the fuck? The boy brought his A-game even with a lighter head.

"If I was this blackbird, right?" he clarified.

"Uhm," she nodded overdramatically.

"This one seems older like he's been through a few tough years." The bird fluffed his black feather on the sunlit meadow, Teho started to narrate the movements the bird did.

"I'd say: look at my shiny feathers, how beautifully dark they are even after such hard winters, I've seen it all and I'm still the most handsome there is..."

The bird looked around and chirped.

"...and don't even start me on my beak, how gorgeously orange it is. Yeah, you might think it's a certified Pantone, that's how vibrant it is. It has a few scars for sure, but what do the youngsters have on me, huh? They know nothing..." he improvised and the bird flew on their tree and started to sing.

"Whats he's singing about?" the drunk girl asked, listening to the beautiful and intricate song.

"He's singing about how good a partner he actually wants to be. How entertaining he is and how others scarcely understand him." Teho dreamed the story he was holding inside.

"Whyvs he alone then, when he's such a catch?" Somin asked.

"He hadn't had any luck so far finding the fitting lady bird for him," Teho made up.

"So every day he has to make yet another heartbreaking song. Sad story really, but no one understands what he really wants. An equal partner, not just a dashing female." He paused, making himself melancholic by mistake.

"The ladybirds he found were all amazingly beautiful, but cared just for the shiny surface he provided so they never pair up," Teho said.

"What else would he want? Shouldn't the lady bird only care for the nest and eggs, so the so-called superficial is right in this case, isn't it?" she asked, her mind making heads or tales of it with difficulty.

"He wants someone to have adventures with. Yeah, there's the mimicry quality the female had for sure have, but aside from that, she should have sparks in her eyes too so they face the mundane life together and make it exciting in their own way. You know they pair for life, right?" Teho asked.

"Really?" said Somin in disbelief.

"He seems like fun. I dare to say I'm a pretty eligible lady bird." Somin dreamt and giggled. "You know I'm invisible to others and very quiet. You can say I'm blendable."

"That's not true at all, Somin. You're loud and bratty as hell. Where's the demure nature in that?" he joked to cover his growing sadness which alcohol brought to the surface.

Thinking about his own dissatisfaction and realizing what he really wanted in a relationship.

"I would love him," Somin said seriously, ignoring his observation about her.

"I'm sure you would," Teho answered.

...

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