Title: You Hit Like a Girl (12/?)

Rating: PG 13

Pairing:Quinn/Rachel, Puck/Rachel friendship

Spoilers: Season 1 compliant, AU Season 2.

Summary: The summer after her sophomore year, Rachel Berry has three goals: 1. Prepare for Glee 2. Befriend Quinn Fabray 3. Create a Lasting Romance with Finn Hudson. By the fourth week of summer she's completely failed two of them. Now what is she supposed to do?

Disclaimer: I own nothing.

On Wednesday, Puck picked Rachel up at 8 o'clock for their bro date. Quinn had made sure to text Rachel at least three times to remind her to be safe and not do anything stupid. The brunette didn't doubt for a second that she had sent at least three times that many threatening texts to Puck. Really, Quinn should be more careful; if something ever happened to Puck, she would be the prime suspect, and Rachel didn't think she could live without her girlfriend and her bro.

Lima didn't have a go kart track. It had a go kart track/mini golf course/kiddie arcade. Luckily, since it was so late at night, almost all of the little kids were gone and that left mostly young teenagers. Even their numbers were dwindling because summer was ending and the place closed at ten.

They each paid for their own tickets and headed to the go kart track.

"Noah, do you realize I haven't done this since my ninth birthday. Remember how we accidentally made my dad crash into the mini golf course?"
"That was epic. And why not? You love go karts as much as I do."
Rachel shrugged, "I didn't have my best friend to do it with me anymore."

He frowned and then turned to her with a dangerous smile, "Well, I think we'd better get going since we have 7 years to make up for. Driving a go kart is just like riding a bicycle—as soon as your ass hits the seat, your feet remember what to do."

He was right. As soon as Rachel climbed in it was like they were nine again, minus the sparkly pink tiara. There were other riders on the course, but as far as Rachel and Puck were concerned, it was between them and no one else. They zipped around the other drivers like they were just cones in an obstacle course. Puck won the first time and the second. The third time Rachel may have gently nudge him just enough that he swerved and she claimed victory. They received a small talking to from the track supervisor about safety. The fourth time, Puck won the race but Rachel discovered drifting and she won all of the badass points. By the fifth time, most of the other drivers had decided it was safer to just sit it out as Rachel and Noah got more aggressive. Despite the fact that she had told him they shouldn't use them as bumper cars, they did. A lot. They were both too competitive not to. After the seventh race, when they accidentally ran a fifteen year old off into hay bales, the track supervisor told them to go cool off.

Rachel huffed as they went into the arcade. "It wasn't our fault!"
"I know, right? Everyone else knew to get off of the track."

"Utterly ridiculous! We paid good money to have unlimited access to that track!"

Puck looked around and wrinkled his nose, "Man, this place used to be so much cooler when we were younger."

Rachel looked around. While there were a lot of games, most of them seemed to be geared to the twelve and younger crowd. All of the games were designed to spit out tickets based on the number of points earned. Tickets could be traded in for an assortment of chintzy toys and candy kept behind the prize counter. The only thing she and Puck would probably enjoy was skee ball because they could challenge each other. The air hockey table was being dominated by a pack of twelve year olds. There were a couple of lame looking fighting games and one shooter. They did not look appealing. Rachel was certain there was no blood or guts, which, in her opinion, was part of the reason why those games were so fun in the first place. She was just about to suggest they go somewhere else when Puck tucked on her arm. She turned to find him staring at something slack jawed, his eyes shining.

"Noah?"

He slowly raised his arm and pointed. She followed is gaze and her eyes widened and she gasped.

"Are those…?"
"Hell yeah!"

Behind the prize counter, along with the animal shaped erasers, candy, and cheap toys that wouldn't last a day, were two Styrofoam swords. Rachel and Puck looked at each other before practically running to the counter where a middle aged man was flipping through a magazine and sipping on a fountain drink. He jumped when Puck slapped his hands on the counter.

"How much for the swords?"

He rolled his eyes, 'Read the sign, buddy."

Rachel huffed, "5,000 tickets? We don't care about tickets. How much money does it cost?"

The man eyed them warily, "You can't buy them with money. You buy them with tickets."

"Dude! We're willing to pay cold hard cash!"

"And you'll shell out a lot more cash when you try to win all of those tickets. I'd say it'll cost you at least fifty bucks."

Rachel stomped her foot, "This is absolutely outrageous! I—"

"Listen, sweetheart, that's the way it works. Get over it or get out."
Rachel's fists were twitching and Puck put a hand on her shoulder.

"Come one, Superstar. We'll show this asshole."

Rachel nodded stiffly and allowed him to drag her over to the token machine.

"We need a plan, Noah. We need to figure out which games give out the most tickets."

"I'm on it. Here, get us twenty bucks worth to start out."

They figured out that if they scored the bull's eye, or the tricky ones in the upper corners, the skee ball machine would spit out at least ten tickets. There was also a game of chance that involved dropping the going down a ramp and hitting a target. Rachel studied it for fifteen minutes and was able to determine the correct timing. She stayed there while Puck had the skee ball machine lighting up. They ended up spending a total of thirty dollars and forty five minutes winning enough tickets to purchase them each a sword. They dropped their tickets in front of them man with triumphant smirks. He just rolled his eyes and handed them the swords.

Puck and Rachel left the arcade with smug smiles.

"This is so freakin awesome!"
Rachel smiled, "Best thirty dollars I ever spent. Who does he think he is calling me sweetheart."
Puck smirked, "Totally. And now we can have epic sword fights again."

Rachel nodded, "Do you think they'll let us back on the go karts yet?"

"Probably. Douche bags shouldn't have kicked us off in the first place. Hey, maybe we should challenge them to a duel with our kick ass swords."

Rachel stopped abruptly, placing her hand on his arm, "Noah, I may have just had the best idea I've ever had in the history of our entire friendship, but there's a problem."

"What is it? What's the problem?"
"Well, we might get banned from the track and Quinn might murder us."

Puck pouted, "Come on, you have to tell me now."

Rachel bit her lip, "You know in action movies they have those car chases and these people are having long drawn out gun fights?"
"Yeah."

"We should do that, but instead have a sword fight."

Puck stared at her, "If you weren't my bro I would marry you right now."
Rachel rolled her eyes, "We can't do it though."
"We have to do it!"

"Noah…"
Puck got down on his knees, "Please, please, pretty please?"

Rachel pinched the bridge of her nose, "They wouldn't even let us take the swords on the go kart with us."

"You cause a distraction and then I'll slip them in."

"But I promised Quinn I wouldn't do anything stupid."

Puck jumped up, "Babe, it's not stupid. It's freakin brilliant."

"Fine. I'll go over there and start crying. You stash the swords."

Rachel sobbed about her lost necklace, her absolute most precious possession in the world, while Puck scoped out two go karts and stashed the swords. Rachel saw him make a cutting motion towards some kid who looked like he was going to say something. The kid scrambled off. Actually, as soon as the other people saw Rachel and Noah they scrambled away. Puck gave her the thumbs up and Rachel stopped crying. The supervisor told them they'd better behave. They both nodded, their fingers crossed behind their backs.

When they got into their respective vehicles, red and green of course, Puck sent Rachel a smirk. Rachel winked at him. They revved their engines and the light changed. They went around once driving perfectly safe. They second lap they exchanged a glance. Puck was on the inside lane and Rachel was thankful she was ambidextrous enough to wield the sword with her left hand. As soon as they crossed the starting mark, they pulled out their swords. The supervisor started yelling. Puck jerked his kart close to hers and swung. They went back and forth, swerving and swinging. The supervisor tried to step in front of them and they separated long enough to go around him before they clashed again. They went at it until their karts got stuck together and they spun into a hay bale. They got out and raise their swords victoriously.

Their pictures were taken and they were escorted out and told never to come back. Ever. They laughed the whole way.

"I've told you that you were the best bro ever, right?"

Rachel laughed, "Multiple time, Noah, multiple times."

Puck's stomach grumbled, "God, I'm so hungry. That battle sure worked up my appetite."

"So stop at a fast food place. That's about the only thing besides a bar that would be open."
"Yeah, but they don't have any of your vegan shit."

"It's not shit, and it's okay, I'll be fine."

Puck shook his head, "I eat, you eat. Hey, are chips and salsa considered vegan?"
"Yes, but that doesn't sound like a meal."

"You'll want to make a meal out of these babies," Puck glanced at her, "Do you trust me?"

"Yes, I do."

They ended up a rowdy country bar. Puck slipped the bouncer a twenty and he let them in. The only reason Rachel didn't refuse to go in and give him a lecture about acting like a delinquent was the she told him she'd trust him. And she had just gotten them banned for life from the fun park. They ended up at the bar with a couple of cokes and the absolute best chips and salsa that Rachel had ever tasted. The bartender kept giving them weird glances, but she couldn't blame him. Her argyle sweater and Puck's Mohawk didn't exactly fit in a place with all country karaoke and a mechanical bull.

"Noah, do I want to know how you found this place?"

He shrugged, "There was this cowgirl I was checking out. It turns out she was married. I almost got a cowboy boot rammed up my ass."

Rachel made sure she caught his eyes, "You're better than that."
His smile faltered for a second, "Not yet, but I think I'm getting there."

Rachel smirked, "You'd better get there a little faster or I'll have to start dragging you along by your mowhawk."

"Hey, now messin with the hawk. And don't worry, I'm moving."

"You're going to find an amazing girl someday."

He smiled at her, "I believe you. Speaking of amazing girls, how are things going with you and baby mama?"

Rachel blushed, "Amazing, I think, considering everything."

"So, have you rounded 2nd yet?"

Rachel slapped his arm, "Noah!"

He held up his hands, "Hey, you know how far I've gone with her. It's only fair."

Rachel rolled her eyes and then sighed, "The entire town knows how far you've gone with her…. We've only kissed that once."
"What the hell? But at practice she was all touchy feely. There were a couple of times I thought she was going to mount you on the field."

She shrugged, "I know, but when we're alone it's like she's afraid to touch me."
Puck frowned, "Maybe she's just intimidated by how much of a badass you are."

"Maybe."

"She does pay attention to you, right? She treats you well, beside the whole not kissing you thing?"

Rachel nodded, "You saw her stand up to Coach Sylvester. She's been wonderful. She even asked me to make her a calendar and we're going on a date tomorrow."

"No shit? Where are you doing? And what kind of calendar are you going to make her?"

"I have no idea. She won't tell me. And she said her calendar had to be cooler than your dinosaur one."

Puck snorted, "Jealous much? What's it going to be?"

Rachel leaned over and whispered it in his ear.

He pouted, "Not freakin fair, Superstar, not fair at all."
Rachel rolled her eyes, "You didn't even want one to begin with if I recall correctly."

"Well, yeah, but now I think it's awesome. It's useful. Hudson was a total idiot not to see that. It really helped to keep track of all of our practices."
"I am very aware of that. Speaking of practices, what do you think about the football team getting a new coach?"

"I think it'll be good. Anybody has to be better than Tanaka."

"Coach Sylvester mentioned it was a woman, when I gave her the keys."

"No shit? Well good. I think we can definitely get her to let you try out the team then. As long as she's a good coach, that's all that matters."

Rachel hummed, "I have to hope that the only thing she'll be wary of is my small size."

Puck nodded, "Yeah, but there are plenty of short or small football players. Look at Barry Sanders or Dante Hall. And that was in the NFL, this is high school. Besides, you're tougher than at least half of the team already and hopefully Coach… what did Sylvester say? Bigfoot? Hopefully Coach Bigfoot or whatever will see that."

Rachel was about to respond when a voice came from behind them.

"It's Beiste."

Rachel and Puck turned around to find a woman built like a linebacker with a cowboy hat on her head and an empty mug in her hand.

Rachel licked her lips, "Excuse me?"
"The name is Beiste. Not Bigfoot."

Puck blinked, "Are you…?"

"Are you two high schoolers in a 21 and over bar?"

Rachel gave her a small smile, "They have excellent salsa."

The coach looked at her, "So, did I hear that you wanted to try out for the football team? Why would I want two kids who sneak into bars to play for me?"

Puck spoke up, "It was just for the salsa. And she does want to play. Chick can run and she has a mean tackle."
"And you are?"
"Noah Puckerman. Your wide receiver."

Beiste grunted, "We'll see about that." She turned back to Rachel. "Football isn't an easy sport. Even if I let you try out, there are boys that have been playing a lot longer than you have."

Rachel nodded, "I understand, which is why Noah and I have been practicing all summer."

Beiste looked at her and then glanced at Puck, "This isn't about a boy is it?"

Rachel huffed, "I can assure you that this has nothing to do with any romantic entanglements. I was helping Noah practice so that he could improve to get a scholarship. We both think I'm good enough that I could help the team win and further his chances. He's like a brother to me and I would do anything for him. I've also come to greatly enjoy the sport. I only ask that I be given the chance to try out like anybody else."

Beiste nodded, "I think I can do that. We need all of the talent we can get. And this better not be some joke, I've already had it up to here with that cheerleading coach and I haven't even met the woman yet."

Rachel bit her lip and Puck nodded.

She continued, 'I finally got the keys to the locker rooms and the storage shed. I know you guys normally have try outs after school starts, but I wanted to have one the week before school starts too. Give the kids who really want a spot a chance to show me what they've got. I'm going to contact all the players from last year's roster and I've put a flyer up in the local sports store. You two can show up that one to let me see what you've got."

Rachel nodded furiously, "Thank you."

Puck smirked, "You won't regret it."

Beiste nodded, "Now get of here. If I see you back here again, I'm going to change my mind."

They scrambled out of the bar.

Puck dropped Rachel off at 11.

"We are so going to kill that tryout and turn that place upside down."

"Of course. We're Superstar and Puckasaurus."

"And we're damn fine looking Jews."

Rachel laughed, "Because that makes a difference. Good night, Noah."

"Later babe."

Rachel went to bed that night excited about the tryout but even more excited about her upcoming date with Quinn. She overlooked the fact that Quinn might kill her when she found out about the sword fight.

Rachel: Bro date was a success. No injuries. I'm really excited about our date tomorrow. Good night, Quinn.

Quinn: You're back really late.

Rachel: I didn't think you'd still be awake. We stayed at the go karts until they threw us out. Then we had a bite to eat.

Quinn: I couldn't sleep without my good night texts. And you two are dorks.

Rachel: Well, I'll make sure I don't wait so long next time.

Quinn: You'd better not. Good night, Rachel.

Rachel: Sweet dreams.