Average Job x Spy Days - or "This world of Retired Hitmen and Spies sure is intense!" (Sakamoto Days + Spy x Family Xover SI)

Niikita Town, Japan.

Normal town, lots of old people as many youngsters preferred the rowdier nights of the cities. That wasn't to say that young faces were an unusual sight, but most of them were kids that just couldn't go out to look into the world just yet.

Now, after hearing this, I bet that some perplexity may come up as… Why is this relevant? What makes Niikita such a curious place in the world to start looking into? The answers to both questions are one and the same, but it is structured in multiple sections.

Let's start from the baby steps. There's a lot to unpack after all.

The first thing to say is that… I would imagine that one would be rightfully confused to know this commentary is provided by an Italian that got displaced through dimension.

My name is John Bukharin, 22, I am a bit of an oddball nowaday that goes by the fake name of 'Bojomi Josuke'. It's not a joke to say that picking up this name was not my finest moment of Japanese creative naming. After all, it was never my goal as I wanted a plain name for a plain identity. I got the former, the latter is… complicated.

While Niikita is indeed a normal town close to a countryside location but still deeply rooted in some degree of modernity, it would be a lie to say it was devoid of 'funk' as it had its unique slice to the life that was hardly… peaceful.

Former hitmen had taken residence in the city, same for former members of the triad. In an odd and wacky blend of pure slice of life mixed with murderous plots, I would dare to say life is… interesting. Especially when I was a bit of a recurring secondary character with a few 'plot situations' under my watch.

I wouldn't go as far as consider myself a Main Character as I had not been tied to the recent events which saw the demise of a dangerous assassin trying to exterminate the official group of professional spies and killers all over the country, but I would say I helped a bit cleaning up the filth that remained behind.

Still, new questions as something about what I just said feels wrong: when did I start getting this much ruthless in shedding lives left and right?

We need to look at my humble origins story for that. Don't expect anything fancy or unique- after all, this is the origins of a superhero. Excluding the 'super' and adding the 'anti' to it.

I am not exactly the best guy, but I am still classifiable as a good guy.

And my own interaction with such a world started around the first week of my stay here, a year ago, when one day I was getting robbed in the park I was pretty much living by at the time.

With no money, no place to call home and with generally no clue what my purpose was in this new situation, I created a makeshift 'home' by the park. By regularly sleeping on a bench during nighttime.

It wasn't much and my back still hates me for that, but it was the only choice with the little money I was making with my recently-acquired job. Being the local mailman and helping the elderly guy that had single handedly dealt with the task for thirty years now of active service had a good pay, but not enough to get me started with stacks since day one.

Now, I wouldn't say it was the shittiest thing I had to deal with but… it was the shittiest thing I had to deal with. Which, by the way, excluded the robbery. That is just another layer of crap to account for.

Then again, I would be lying if I said that it was an ugly event. Sure, the thug that cornered me was scary, mean, and had a gun that he was using as a leverage.

That's where I met him.

Sakamoto Taro. He was the co-owner of a convenience store, good husband, proud father, quite on the chubby side and… a former assassin.

He happened to be taking his little girl, Hana, on a walk when he noticed the sight that was unfolding. As he didn't want his lil' kid to see what was happening, he pulled some real anime shit that had me shaking for a moment.

Lying to his daughter that he saw a few pretty butterflies landing on the flowers on the opposite side of where the struggle was unfolding, he used a pen he had with him to stab the thug on the side of his head before sending the bastard onto a few bushes.

Thus I was spared from an ugly death, I met a potential main character material, and… I now had a purpose. And said purpose was finding out who this guy was, where I could approach him and doing all of this without being a creep.

It was actually difficult to do so as it does sound a bit creepy when you are looking a bit roughed up by a scuffle, but I eventually did get the right directions and found the man already at work just less than four hours after that event. He recognized me, a clear sign of that being a brief hand twitch.

I was tempted to thank him there, but I saw his wife was there too and I had a feeling she was either unaware of her hubby's skills or preferred to keep to the simple life. So, I tried to convey my words in a more 'appropriate' manner.

"You are… Sakamoto-san."

He nodded, not deigning me with a word as, from what I got from the few people I asked around about him, he was a man of few words.

"I wished to thank you for saving me from tripping and going for a bad fall," I bowed my head a bit. "If it wasn't for you, I… I doubt the hospital would have saved me."

Another nod came from him, this time he also spoke. "You're welcome."

My lips twitched, feeling slightly embarrassed at what I wanted to ask next but… I sighed.

"I wanted to know if…"

"Oh, what's going on here, dear?" Sakamoto Aoi, Taro's wife, was already done with her client as she realized I was talking with her husband. "And who are you?"

"Bojomi Josuke, ma'am. I was just finishing thanking your husband for saving my life as I… almost tripped and died like the idiot that I am."

She looked surprised, then eyed her husband and then back at me with a frown.

"You tripped."

I nodded.

"You… tripped. And almost died."

I had to act a little bit, and I nodded nervously. "It's not funny, ma'am."

"Aoi-san, that's my name and you're too close to us in age to call me ma'am."

"I… I get it, ma- Aoi-san."

She smiled happily. "Good to know. Now, since you have thanked my husband, is there another reason you're there? Do you wish to buy anything?"

"Maybe, but I also wanted to ask if your husband would be willing to… teach me a bit about balance."

"Balance?" Aoi parroted in surprise. "My husband-"

"Is incredible, Aoi-san. The way he moved so fast was so- I just wish to be like that, but I have tried so much to get this kind of reaction time. I would like if-"

"No," Taro remarked quietly, and left me hanging.

"I-I don't want these to be free-"

"It's not the point," The man pressed on.

"...What if it was assistance of some sort? Free assistance at that?"

Taro looked ready to refuse me again, but his wife reached for his chubby arm and… squeezed.

"We would need someone that could handle patching up the shop from time to time. Also, get some boxes from the warehouse," Aoi started to list out. "Maybe also babysit Hana- but that depends on how trustworthy you are with the rest of the chores."

In layman's terms, she was giving me these lessons in exchange for me picking up most of the stuff her husband would usually do. At first, I just thought she was trying to free up time for her hubby to do more stuff with her. I had yet to realize they had started to contemplate going back to dating as they used to.

It seemingly was an unfair deal, and it was for a while as it was just what I had asked for- lessons on balance. My body was trained through a few ruthless but mundane activities which revolved around the chores themselves.

I think Taro went hard on me because he knew I had put him in a very interesting spot where he had to resume his planning for dating, but the harshness only made the exercises more fruitful in the short-term.

By the time things started to pick up with assassins coming after Taro-san, I was already in a good 'learning' stage and, while I was a bit worthless when it came to actually killing people as I just didn't have the morality to go through that, I had a feeling, from the very moment things got rowdier, that I wasn't going to get much of a choice in that regard.

Life is difficult and cruel, but I wasn't just aware that it was also way too complicated to be summarized in a single chapter of self-thoughts.


AN

First few chapters will be focusing on the Sakamoto Days' plot. I will not go through all the plot and it will be mostly from John's perspective. The point is that he is not the MC, nor part of the permanent MC's cast. He is just a character with relevance that will eventually turn into a MC (without him realizing).

The Spy x Family plot shall begin after the end of the Sakamoto Days' main plot.