Chapter 20: Chosen Family


24th September 1864,

Katherine Pierce, I knew she was strange but she is a monster.

My brother had warned once before that she was the reason why we were being shunned by Salvatores, why Damon had disrespected me. I didn't believe him. I still don't.

Damon never loved me nor I loved him. It was a relationship based on our childhood friendship. My marriage would have been a business transaction just like his father and mother's marriage.

Perhaps, Miss Pierce's actions were a blessing in disguise. I don't know. But I do know that regardless of how I lost or benefited from her actions, I cannot ignore the fact that Miss Katherine has killed countless innocents for her own benefit.

Though, I never agreed to my brother's actions. I know deep down it was for the best. The needs of the many of this town must always outweigh the needs of the few. That is what I believe.

I understand why my brother sent a letter addressed to the Salvatore patriarch exposing Miss Katherine.

Yet I worry about the impact it may have on my old friends. Despite what I believe of the needs of this town, I still cannot ignore the long friendship I had shared in the past with the Salvatore brothers. I know neither can Edmund. It must have been a tough decision for Edmund to make. I won't lie but I do fear for them. To me it was clear that Miss Katherine had indeed bewitched my friends. They are innocents. The same innocents we are supposed to be protecting.

Father and brother had already packed before I even came back from the Lockwood mansion. I write this as I pass the boundaries of the town of Mystic Falls. I don't know where I may be heading towards. I trust my brother and father to make the right choice yet I fear that this may have been a very wrong move.

Against my better judgements, I left them a letter warning about Miss Pierce and their own father. I pray that my letter aids them if they find it.

- Lydia E. Fitzroy


Leaves crunched beneath my feet as I carefully trudged along the damp forest floor. I jumped over a fallen tree and made it through the thick vegetation. Kicking away some pebbles out of my path, I crouched down. I could see it very clearly now. I shuffled to the side and hid behind a large boulder. My target froze as it frantically started looking around for the source of the sound. I let out a deep breath, pulling out my bow in front of me. The prey stared at where I was for a while before it bent it's head down and started grazing at the grass.

Amid the golden light of the rising sun was a small lone deer. It's warm brown fur was dotted with beige spots. The deer looked around once more before diving into its meal. My gaze was locked onto the deer. Leaning forward, I notched an arrow into the bow and pulled the string of the bow back. The deer was in my vision now. Closing my right eye, I let the string go as the arrow flew through the air. I waited, holding my breath in as the arrow landed straight in the eye of the deer.

The poor animal fell to the floor in one shot and it was quiet again. Only the early birds chirped sadly above me as I trudged towards the fallen deer. "Headshot!" I heard the quiet but overly excited voice of my uncle. He came out of the woods with a bow in his hands. Without waiting for me, he strode towards the animal carcass and examined it. I watched in silence as he pulled the arrow out with a gloved hand. "You're getting better at this." He commented quietly, cleaning the arrow of blood on a handkerchief.

"I guess I am." I stated as he handed me the arrow. Carefully, I took the sharp arrow into my gloved hand and slipped it back into my quiver. Bringing my quiver forward, I counted the arrows while at the same time, keeping an eye on my uncle. "Twelve." I said out loud. "Twelve arrows. No wasted arrows." I added.

Uncle Nate nodded and took out a sharp dagger. He crouched down to the forest floor and slit the deer's throat in one motion, making sure the deer was truly dead. Then he started dismembering the animal carcass. Wordlessly, he made skilled cuts along the neck before turning the deer over to it's back. He slit it's stomach open and started skinning the animal as I drew back in slight disgust. This was just animal hunting. Get a grip, Ava. I said to myself. Still didn't help that I was disgusted. For some reason, this felt more like a punishment than training.

I watched in disgusted silence as he skinned and gutted the poor deer right in front of me. Standing a few feet away from my uncle and the carcass. He would know and then look up, making a point about how I always needed to make sure that my target was dead. My target in this case was...vampires. I mean they were easy signs to tell if they were dead. I knew that by heart. Their skin would turn an ashy grey color resembling that of a dried age old corpse or they would turn to a pile of ashes. I knew that already.

This was truly my punishment for breaking his ground rules. I leaned back into the tree and looked away. But I could still hear the squelching sounds of the whole process. My stomach churned as the over-familiar iron-like scent overpowered the morning scent of the woods. I hated it.

All of sudden, it stopped. The sounds of squelching halted as the loud shrill of my uncle's phone interrupted him. I turned back to see him stand up and mouth the word 'Duke' to me before he walked off. But not before dropping the blood stained knife into my hands.

Gingerly, I held onto the knife and walked over the now dismembered deer. It was skinned and it's brown fur was now matted with blood, tossed to the side. It's guts and other parts were thrown into a black plastic bag.

If I was being honest, there was nothing left for me to do. I stared at the crimson soaked animal in a daze before I looked around for a sign of my uncle. He stood at a distance with his back turned to me, too engrossed with the call to notice anything I may do.

I hesitated for a second. Then I pulled off my backpack from my back and carefully unzipped it. In my bag were a couple of water bottles. One small green bottle filled with pure vervain and next to it was a bright pink plastic bottle filled with vervain infused water. The others empty regular plastic blue bottles. It was something I had slipped into my bag without anyone noticing before I headed out. I didn't actually think I would get to use it.

Doing another glance around, I crouched down to the carcass and made another deep slash at the neck, right where the veins were.

Luckily my uncle didn't completely drain the carcass of it's blood. Viscous crimson liquid started to spew out of the cut I had made. Not wanting to waste a single drop, I placed the mouth of the water bottle right next to the cut. I watched in silence as it quickly filled the bottle. When it was full to the brim, I took out another and tried to fill that one too and then repeated the motions until I heard the sounds of leaves crunching nearby. I paused for a second before quickly closing the last bottle.

The sounds of leaves crunching and my uncle saying his goodbyes made me quicken my actions as I swiftly drew back. Closing the lid of the bottle, I shoved the bottles into a black plastic bag and shoved that into my bag. I zipped up my bag and swung on my backpack as if nothing had happened.

"Uh—I think I accidentally cut a vein." I said to my uncle who had just finished his call and had already hung up. I swung around to stare at him with an awkward look. He frowned and shook his head in disbelief before taking the blade from me. "Hey! How was I supposed to know what to do?" I tried, not really defending myself.

My uncle let out an exasperated noise and drew back. "Well, there goes our vampire bait." He sighed, getting up. The blood from the animal was all but gone now. "Unless..." He drifted off while staring intently at the splayed out animal carcass in front of us. "Never mind." He shook his head and cleaned the blade, putting it away after he was done. "I'll have the butler and some staff clean and cook it instead." He muttered, crouching down again but this time he tied the legs of the deer together. Then he wrapped it in a black plastic bag and hoisted it up, putting the carcass on his shoulders.

I scrunched up my face and backed off. "Please tell me you're not keeping 'that' in the kitchen." I complained while trekking through the path towards the car park. "Wait. Forget the kitchen. Don't put that in the car." I whined.

"Ugh. Stop complaining!" Uncle Nate snapped. His grip on the deer tightened as he adjusted it on his shoulders. "...Technically this is your fault." He muttered under his breath.

I rolled my eyes and made a face, agreeing with him. It was my fault but I wasn't gonna say that to him. I wasn't dumb. Besides, I needed the animal blood. No, not for me. Obviously.

With my uncle's back turned to me, I walked behind him while watching our surroundings. The tomb vampires were being out meant we had to be on our guard all the time. I still blamed Damon for that whole mess. Bonnie did too. But I also blamed myself for not acting on what I had seen. Wordlessly, I broke through the foliage and into the roadside where my uncle had parked his car. He opened the trunk first and gestured at me to help him.

I moved quickly. Placing down a big plastic covering on his car trunk, I backed off and got into the passenger seat. My uncle took some time as he placed the deer into the trunk. He then slammed the trunk door shut. It was so loud I actually felt it from where I stood. He probably fell behind again in his schoolwork, I thought. He wasn't the only one. Even Jenna had been falling behind. The perks of being a parental guardian to a teenager while in college.


"Look who's here?" Damon greeted with his hand on the door handle. I rolled my eyes and walked past him, ignoring him completely. He closed the door behind me, following me to the living room. "So where have you been?" He questioned as he crashed into the sofa in front of the lit fireplace.

I dragged his feet off the coach and took a seat next to him. I brought my backpack forward and unzipped the bag. Wordlessly, I tossed a plastic water bottle full of animal blood at the older Salvatore brother.

He caught it with ease and held it up in front of the fire. He held it up in front of the roaring fire as I stretched my legs before I crossed my legs and craned my head towards him.

Damon drew back from the bottle and looked at me before looking at the bottle again. Confusion was etched on his face as he continued to examine the bottle. "This is blood." He said, dumbfounded. "...Where do you get this? Did you add vervain?" He questioned, shifting his body around on the couch to face me.

I rolled my eyes and looked towards the stairs leading to the cellar. The cellar which currently housed a delirious Stefan in a cell. He opened the bottle. Holding the bottle up to his nose, I watched as he sniffed the contents of the bottle. Then he took a small sip of the blood subsequently drawing back in disgust.

He almost spat out the blood before he swallowed it. His face scrunched up in disgust as he got up and flashed towards the liquor cart.

Quickly he poured himself a drink and downed it, trying his hardest to wash away the taste of the deer blood.

"Y'know I don't drink that stuff. I'm not Stefan."

I rolled my eyes again and picked up the uncapped plastic bottle off the floor. I capped the bottle tight then sat back down. "It's for Stefan, not you." I retorted. "Speaking off—Is he still—y'know?"

"Wallowing in self-pity? Yes."

Damon flashed in front of me and took the plastic bottle off my hands. Playfully he tossed it in the air. I jumped up to grab up the bottle. I caught the bottle in my hands and held it close to me.

Narrowing my eyes at the older Salvatore brother, I pointed my index finger towards him as a warning. He threw his hands up in the air before walking back towards the liquor cart.

"So what have you been up to?"

"Being grounded." I sat back down on the couch. My eyes on the fireplace.

Damon leaned over my shoulders. "Hmmm. For what?"

"The consequences of my actions."

"Can't relate."

"Of course you can't. You've never faced the consequences of your own actions."

"Actually I was referring to never being grounded but thank you for all of that as well."

"You're welcome and didn't you almost get disowned by your family."

"—For a good reason."

"Right—sleeping with a vampire." I stated, looking away. "Great reason."

"Well, it was good."

"Gross."

He laughed. "No, actually it was because I deserted the Confederate Army." He poured himself another drink. He held up his glass offering me a drink but I shook my head indicating my disinterest.

"I'm sure it has more to do with you sleeping with the living dead." I retorted blankly.

"Hilarious."

I grinned at him, leaning back into my seat and taking out an old worn copy 'Turn of the Screw'.

"By the way, you wouldn't happen to know what this is" Damon walked over to a desk and held up a metal circular object reminiscent of an amulet.

Placing my book down, I got up and examined the mysterious object. Damon walked closer, closing the gap between us as he held up the object by a chain.

Curiously, I scanned the metal medallion-type object in front of me, reaching out to touch it. It felt smooth and cold.

Damon let go of the chain of the object, letting it fall into my hands. I turned it over my hand and tried to pry it open. The locket-type object popped open revealing a clock.

"It's a pocket watch." I stated plainly.

My curiosity was gone in an instant. I huffed and handed back the watch, turning my back to Damon.

"Y'know the kind that you used back in 'your' day." I joked, picking my discarded novel off the couch.

Damon scoffed. "It's Johnathan Gilbert's pocket watch."

"So?"

"Pearl said it was special."

"And you believed her?"

"Hey, she said Johnathan Gilbert carried the compass around like it was something special." Damon pointed out. "Plus he was an 'inventor'—"

"A failed one."

"Yeah but I think the pocket watch is something. I'm sure it does something."

"Of course it does something. It tells the time." I sat back down on the couch. "Seriously Damon, not everything the Founders' owned is special—some of it is actual junk with a historical value on it."

"I have a hunch."

"Lemme guess—that's a supernatural bomb meant to take out vampires."

"You know what you might be onto something."

Since when did he become so trusting of me? It was a little terrifying to say the least. The more he trusted me, the more reckless and dangerous he would be if and when I did end up literally stabbing him in the back.

It was inevitable.

He was a vampire.

One that had killed countless with no remorse up until recently too.

I was a descendant of vampire hunters.

We were the complete opposites yet here I was being friendly with one and worrying about another. I wonder how my grandparents would feel seeing me at this moment.

Disappointed? Probably.

"...I was kidding." I quietly stated, still staring at the vampire in the room.

"Still."

Turned back around and shook my head as I flicked the book in front of me open. After a moment of flipping pages in silence. I stopped. A sudden stroke of realization made me take a pause in my actions. "Oh my god." I muttered under my breath. Oh. Oh. I am an idiot.

The Gilbert device.

How did I forget about that?

It was something my dad and uncle had mentioned multiple times. They had constantly talked about it. How the council spent decades looking for it.

How they scoured all of the Gilbert heirlooms for the hidden piece of the device. And that pocket watch might be it. Well, it was part of it. There was a second part to it. What was it? I tried to rack my brain, trying to think of what I knew about the device.

"What?" Damon asked.

I didn't even notice he had crept behind me as I jumped a little in surprise. I was too engrossed in my own thoughts to even sense his presence.

"Did you figure out what this thing is?" He crouched in front of me.

I chased away my thoughts of the Gilbert device. I knew he couldn't read my mind but still, my face might give it away. Mind reading isn't the only way to read people after all. I stared at him. "No."

I shoved him out of my way and rolled my eyes. "I wasn't actually thinking about it, I just remembered I have an extra credit book report on this. That I haven't started and it's due in two days." I said as an excuse. It wasn't a lie, like always I had weaved my lies and excuses with a little bit of truth.

"Unlike 'some' people I still have a life outside of this."

"Hey, I have a life!"

"Snacking on sorority girls isn't a life." I muttered out, pushing myself off the couch. Damon opened his mouth in protest before I cut him off. "Neither is masquerading as a vampire hunter while trying to find your psychotic vampire ex." I added.

"Back to the watch—I personally think it might be a piece of junk."

"Well, Pearl said—"

"You mean the same woman who blindly believed her vampire hunter boyfriend despite being centuries older than him, Pearl?" I reminded him.

"Yeah, she's not gonna be the all-knowing source of Founder secrets. For all we know, that's another regular Gilbert heirloom. I mean I know my family has plenty of regular heirlooms and our vampire-hunting history is long. Longer than your entire existence, I should mention."

Damon shook his head at my remarks. "Now you're just bragging."

"No, I'm just reminding you that John Gilbert is the least of your worries."

"You're threatening me."

"No, I'm reminding you what we really are. Not friends. Not enemies. Just something in-between."

The older Salvatore stared at me, trying to search my face for an answer.

Without taking his eyes off me, he started walking towards me. But he stopped. The sudden footsteps stopped Damon in his tracks. I turned away from the fireplace to stare at the hallway leading to the cellar.

Elena dragged herself out of the darkened hallway. She nervously waved at me before clasping her hands and carefully walked back into the room, keeping her eyes on Damon.

"Hey. You're not grounded anymore." She greeted in a small voice while completely ignoring Damon.

The older Salvatore brother made a face as he grumbled under his breath in annoyance at being ignored and being the only one out of the loop. I snickered quietly and rolled my eyes.

"Yep. Uncle Nate had to go back to Duke and my parents felt bad for me so I'm ungrounded for now."

Elena nodded in understanding and walked over to me. She bent down in front of the fireplace, dragging a navy blue duffle bag over to the couch where I sat. I scooted over to give her some place to put her bag. She smiled gratefully before switching her attention to her bag.

"Well, I'm gonna go home." She announced, finally looking at Damon. "You coming?" She asked, moving her head towards the corridor leading to the foyer.

"Actually, I was gonna try to talk to Stefan." She nodded understanding before walking out.

I grabbed the bottle of blood and started towards the cellar. Damon silently followed closely behind. We didn't speak as we talked through the familiar dark wooden hallways leading to the entrance of the cellar. I paused for a second, my hand hovered over the handle of the door leading to the cellar.

The last time I was here was when Damon somehow managed to get Caroline down here to feed. My hand retracted and I balled up my fists as I let out an anxious breath. Damon stared at me, confused by my actions before he let out a small sound of understanding.

For all he remembered, Zach Salvatore 'died' here.

Seeing me hesitate, Damon turned the handle and pulled the door open. He held the door open for me while gesturing me to go in. Snapping myself out of those memories, I wordlessly climbed down the stone steps leading to the dark cellar.

It was here that Damon tried to attack Caroline and here where he almost killed Zach. I swallowed the wave of nausea that was coming and tried to walk past it.

Damon either noticed my sudden change or he was bored of my hesitating steps, he took the lead and led me further down the stone corridor to a cell.

"You have a visitor."

I shook my head as I took his place in front of the door of the cell. A rectangular barred hole was the only thing allowing me to see Stefan inside.

Inside, Stefan sat hunched over, staring hard at the floor wearing a white vest and blue jeans.

"Ava?" He called out, confusedly as he sat up in surprise.

The younger Salvatore brother started to make his way towards the cell door before he stopped in his tracks.

All of a sudden, he jumped back and started choking on air. In the dimly lit cell, I could barely see black veins protrude underneath his eyes as he hissed at the door.

"You shouldn't be here." He shouted. "GET OUT!" He repeated, getting more aggressive.

Damon pushed me to the side and stepped in front of the door. "Rude. She brought you a gift." He took the bottle of blood in front of the barred hole, waving it around. "Bambi blood. Your favorite."

Stefan didn't react to that. He grew quiet.

Worrying for his younger brother, Damon unlocked the cell but not before signaling me to stay back. I gave him a look saying that I could protect myself and it fell on deaf ears.

I wrapped my arms around me and craned my neck to peek at Stefan who had moved to the furthest corner of the room. "So..." I took a step to the side and shifted over to the cell door, Damon immediately moved in front of me. I made a face before continuing. "Elena told me you haven't been feeding so I got you a little something—I know it's not much but..."

"Thank you. You should go now."

I could see him clearer now as he hesitated with his next words. Glancing at the vampire next to me, I turned to him.

"Damon, do you mind?"

He frowned and started to argue back before I let out a groan as I bit my tongue and against my will, I said it. "Please."

He relented. "Fine." I heard his footsteps grew quieter and quieter before it stopped.

I sighed. "Give me a second." I said to Stefan before turning my head towards the direction of the stairs and puffing my chest. "I know you're still there, Damon." I pointed out. Furious footsteps pounded above us before the sound faded completely. "Now—you have something on your mind."

"I do."

"Care to share?" I questioned.

"Close the door first." He replied. I nodded my head and followed his commands but before I did so, I placed the bottle of blood on the floor of the cell before closing the door. "Lock it." His quiet voice echoed around the cell.

Reluctantly, I locked the cell and took out the key. He let out a breath of relief and clasped his hands together while hanging his head low. I didn't interrupt him or anything. It was obvious that he was struggling.

Somehow I couldn't help but compare it to then, when his brother was also locked in this place.

One attempted to escape and almost killed two or three people, if I counted myself.

While the other seemed too guilt ridden to allow himself to escape.

"...How is she?" Stefan asked all of a sudden.

"How is 'who'?" I repeated.

"That girl."

"Oh." I breathed out.

How was she? She being Amber Bradley, the pageant contestant who almost became his victim. So how was she?

I asked myself that question.

How was Amber Bradley?

Well, she was upset. Devastated really. She was replaced as the only non-founder with no founding family ties to ever compete in Miss Mystic Falls. She was dropped from not only the pageant line-up but also the court. She was replaced by Rei Sato by me.

None of that would've happened if Stefan didn't compel her and basically kidnap her. At least, she was safe.

"She's fine." I answered. "A little upset but otherwise perfectly healthy." I added. I leaned back on the stone cellar wall and crossed my arms.

"That's...good."

"Right?" I said. "What about you? How are you?"

"I'm...fine."

"And I don't believe that for a second." I retorted. "You haven't been feeding." I pointed out.

Stefan made a sound and then he said nothing. "You were right 'forever is a long time. It is a long time. Maybe it's time I—"

"Lexi mentioned that you would act like this."

He let out a bitter laugh. "Of course she did."

"Seems like you two have known each other for a long time."

"She found me when I was at my lowest."

I smiled and nodded. "I can imagine."

He said nothing for a while and let silence grow between us like the mold in the corner of the walls in the cellar. "I've lived too long and hurt too many."

"You did." I admitted. "By the way, you should drink the deer blood—took a lot of effort to get it."

"You're trying to distract me." He noticed what I was doing.

"Is it working?"

"Yes and no but I'd like it if you stopped—don't waste your time on me. I almost considered killing you."

I snorted and shook my head. "I almost did the same to you, guess we're even."

He sighed audibly and I could see him from the small crack, shaking his head. "I don't deserve your friendship."

"I know but I'm feeling generous. Come on, drink up." I knocked against the cell and he reluctantly took a drink.

I smiled brightly seeing this. Even Elena couldn't get him to feed. I felt a little accomplished.

"I'm only doing this because you took your time."

"And I appreciate that." I walked backwards and leaned against the wall. "Talk to me. What's getting you down? It usually helps Damon."

He chuckled quietly. "I know it does." I heard him say. "You won't understand."

"I won't if you won't tell me. Come on, Stefan. If you want people to understand you—you need to let them in. Stop pushing people away."

"You should go before I do something I'll regret."

"Don't ignore me."

"Leave. I'm barely holding myself back right now."

My hands trembled as I held them out in front of me. They were getting warmer and warmer. "You were fine with Elena." I pointed out.

"You are not Elena—she doesn't make me…"

Stefan said nothing for a while and it grew deathly quiet. There was a sound of plastic being crunched before the plastic bottle hit the cell. He shouted out in pain and asked me to leave again.

Footsteps echoed upstairs before it stopped. There was a second of silence. Then a quiet sound of the wind was barely heard. I blinked and I found my view blocked by none other than a back.

Damon was back. He stood between me and the cell, checking in on his brother before he turned towards me. His eyes scanned me for any sign of any injuries. He looked back at the door and then back at me, curious to know what had happened.

"Is everything okay?" Damon carefully asked.

"Fine." I mumbled out, turning away and marching up the stairs.

"Hey." Damon stopped me in the hallways just as I ran up the stairs. He grabbed my wrist gently and spun me around. "What happened? I heard some loud noises."

I looked down at the wooden floor then slowly looked up at Damon. His clear electric blue eyes stared deeply into mine as I tried to pry his hands off me. "...According to Stefan, he loses control when I'm there and me being around him is bad for him. I know it's weird." I added.

"It's not really." He retorted. Letting go of me but still he stayed close by.

"What do you mean?"

"You haven't noticed?" He questioned, starting to escort me back into the living room.

"Noticed what?"

"So you haven't." He simply said.

"Noticed what, Damon?" I tried again. "What are you not telling me?"

Finally he stopped right in front of the fireplace where the fire was dying. The lit flame grew dimmer and weaker with every second as the loud cackling of the flames became quieter and the tics of the grand clock became louder and louder.

Slowly, I tried to approach Damon but he reacted quicker, taking a step back. There was a complicated look on his face. "Nothing." He blurted out. "You should go." He said, handing me back my things. "You said you had...schoolwork."

Sighing, I unzipped the backpack Damon passed me and handed him the extra bottle of blood. "Since I can't be here. Here." I said, placing the bottle into his hands. "You can refrigerate it until Stefan needs another. If you need more, I can go hunting in the woods behind our manor." I started. "It's totally safe, by the way." I added, zipping up my bag and swinging it on my back. "Make sure he eats or Lexi is gonna hound me down."

"Oh I forgot how annoying she can be."

"Stefan is refusing to eat. He kept saying something about 'living too long' or something like that. I think he might be depressed and a little…"

"Oh." Damon quietly said. "Well, that's something." He added with a nervous smile but his eyes kept wandering around. "You should go. I'll call you if something happens or if I need more bambi blood...and please don't go near Stefan this time."

I was too tired by now to ask Damon what he and Stefan were bothered by when I was around. There was something about me that the boys weren't telling me about and the problem was I couldn't even ask anyone else. Sheila Bennett, the only one who might've had an inkling to what I am or even helped find out what I am, was long dead.

If I asked Lexi, she might do what she almost did with Stefan's current situation; come to Mystic Falls. For her, being in Mystic Falls meant a high chance of dying. Lexi's death was the last thing Stefan needed and she was one of the few good vampires I knew. It would be a shame for her to die like that. That meant I was alone in this.


15th July 1863,

It seems Damon finally woke up and listened to what I had been harping on about since the beginning of this damned war.

I received a telegram earlier today from one of my very good friends who is a nurse at war front, May Fairweather, a brave woman, she is far braver than me. She told me that Damon Salvatore had deserted the Confederate Army. His father is not aware of this yet. I, myself, have no intentions of telling Mr Salvatore myself.

If I am being honest, that man who may one day become my father-in-law scares me. There is something about him that unnerves me. Sometimes, I pray that my engagement is called off but I know it's not something Damon would want either. I suppose I will bide my time after my marriage and wait for Mr Salvatore to pass.

As cruel, I may be, it is for the best of both families that Mr Salvatore passes and leaves his legacy to his sons before my marriage to his eldest. He lacks compassion and it is clear he has lost his touch, even father says so and they have been long-time acquaintances.

May's telegram was not the only telegram I received. Damon also sent one to both me and my brother. He said the same thing May had told me through hers and more. His was more shocking than I could have imagined.

I know we are in the midst of a deadly war but it still chilled me to my bones when Damon told me what he had done. I sent one back, reassuring him it wasn't his fault yet I know that I may not see my childhood friend in the same light again after knowing he killed innocents. We are in a war, I am aware.

I suppose the on-going civil war is not the only war we are in the midst of. Father held another family meeting tonight. The whole family was here, even great-uncle Andrew who lives a month's journey away took part. He arrived earlier this week and has been present in every single meeting ever since.

These meetings are getting more and more frequent. It was my fourth or fifth meeting to attend and with each meeting, the sense of urgency grows ever so strong.

Everyone keeps stressing the importance of knowing these evils that lurk in the night yet I still find it hard to envision these creatures known as vampires.

They were simply fairytales that I had heard off as a little girl. Father and the rest of my family insist they are very much real. I somehow doubt that.

Surely vampires cannot be real.

- Lydia E. Fitzroy


The paintbrush in my hand danced across the canvas, leaving a trail of crimson behind on the cream background. I stepped back and scanned the ongoing work in progress as I traded the brush in my hand for another.

Tick. Tock. Tick. Tock.

The clock in the background loudly ticked by, almost breaking my concentration. Letting out a tired breath, I dabbed the brush into a darker shade of crimson as I started to add depth to the crimson that I had painted before. I swapped the brush in my hand again for another shade

It had been a while since I was alone with my own thoughts. The dull headache I had from before had all but gone and I was fine again. I knew one day or another, I would have to do something about this before I pushed myself to my limits but for now, I was going to just try to relax. I know it wasn't the best option but it's not like I had a choice.

I hummed lightly under my breath as I swished my paintbrush around the colorful canvas, painting a dreamy garden that looked long abandoned by time and it's owner. This was fun. I thought to myself, until I heard the knocks.

I paused mid-action and craned my neck towards the source of the knocks. It wasn't really the sound of knocking but more like as if someone was throwing pebbles at my window. The grip on my paintbrush tightened as I puffed up cheeks and sucked in a breath.

Not now. I breathed out and shut my eyes, mentally preparing myself to ignore whoever it was before continuing.

Tuck. Tuck.

The sound of tiny pebbles hitting my windows grew louder by the second before I couldn't take it anymore.

"What!" I threw open the double glassed doors leading to the balcony.

There, just like I knew, was none other than Damon. He stood, leaning over the metal rails of the balcony with his arms crossed and his usual grin on his face.

"Took you long enough." He greeted me with a lazy smile. "What were you up to?"

"Being busy." I breathed out, taking off my apron and draping it over one of the metal chairs on my balcony. It was adorable how he thought we were anything. Let alone friends.

"What do you want, Damon?" He almost shattered the glass on the balcony doors. The glass was expensive too.

"Someone's in a bad mood." He quietly commented. I glared at him. "Hey, I did try to call you. You didn't pick up."

"My phone died." I lied.

"Funny how your phone dies every time I try to call you."

"Then don't call me?" I offered. "My phone's battery will last longer."

"Right..." He rolled his eyes and pushed himself off the railing before walking towards me. "Alaric found a lead on Isobel and maybe Katherine."

"And this concerns me because?"

I didn't care about Isobel or least of all Katherine. If I saw either of them, I would turn around and walk away or alert the council. I wasn't stupid enough to go and find two potentially insane vampires. I knew what Katherine was like from Lydia and Penelope's memories but I had no idea of Isobel.

All the more reason to avoid her.

I understood Mr Saltzman's pain, I really did but the moment his wife died and chose to become a vampire, that was the moment where he lost her. No normal person would choose that life.

The life of constant death and life scared me. I took a peek at Damon and watched as he tried to justify his search for Katherine again. Absent-mindedly I nodded along, not really caring for what he was saying but I wondered.

I wondered how he felt about being a vampire. Stefan made it clear he hated being a vampire but what about Damon? He put on this huge show of being this monster who lived for the thrill and loved being what he was yet I wondered if it was even real.

"—I take it you're coming along then." He said, going back to his original position near the balcony railing.

"No. Look I get it. I really do. You want her back and Isobel might lead you to her but this has nothing to do with me."

"Well, Alaric was hoping you'd be the buffer between me and him."

"Mr Saltzman didn't say that."

"How do you know? You read his mind?"

"Maybe. You know it wouldn't kill you to admit that you like having me around." I said, stopping at the threshold of my room. Not letting him answer, I turned to give him a small smile before walking into my room. "Good luck with your search and try not to make a big mess."


27th August 1864,

Something is terribly wrong.

The amount of dead and unaccounted for has risen to new heights. War might be one of the reasons, the other might be far different than I could possibly imagine. The bodies found near Mystic Falls and the surrounding towns were said to be drained of blood.

Father and Edmund witnessed it themselves. Some of the victims were civilians on either side of the war. They were neutral like us. At first, I thought they were the stray casualty of war but I was wrong.

The bodies were cold, still and unmarred of any injuries that could suggest that they were the victims of the cruel war. I accidentally stumbled upon some of those victims on return from Edenwood.

The carriage driver had stopped to check the blockage on our path, only to be met with the most ghastly sight that the poor man had ever seen. There were bodies strewn haphazardly all over the path, some were carefully dismembered while some remained intact.

One thing they all had in common was that their blood was drained. It seemed quite meticulous. Father looked grim when I told him of the encounter.

As a result, I have been banned from traveling or going anywhere alone in that matter. Edmund says it's the work of vampires and I may start to believe it soon.

Unfortunately, this incident was not the first of its kind. May wrote to me the other day that she wants to return home soon. On one of her rounds, she discovered a soldier that she was keeping watch over, dead. I know this isn't quite surprising as it is normal for soldiers to die while in care but the nature of his death was uncannily similar to the victims I and my carriage driver found.

The soldier was drained of blood. May said that she keeps begging the head nurse to let her go, she didn't specify the cause but she did cite that she saw something demonic. The soldier might not be the only thing May found.

That was a month ago.

May has not written since then. I worry for her and her family are anxious about her. All traces of her have vanished, as if she was never there. I don't know what happened to my friend but I fear for her life.

- Lydia E. Fitzroy


Elena had texted me about Stefan hours ago. I was so caught up ignoring Damon that I didn't even notice the messages until it was too late.

I stood outside the boarding house and took out my phone. Elena's phone rang a few times before cutting off, going straight to voicemail. I tried again and again while pacing around the grounds.

No answer.

I tried Stefan's phone and it was the same. Great. Just great. I loved Elena. I really did. She was one of my best friends but could she not go one day without doing something stupid and reckless.

I let out a big sigh just as Damon's car pulled into the driveway. He parked it and got out. I noticed he wasn't alone or as in a good mood as he was when he came over to the Fitzroy manor.

Mr Saltzman trailed behind the vampire with a tired and sullen look on his face. Both men looked conflicted over something. I guess they went to follow Isobel's tail and came back with nothing.

"Ava, what are you doing here?" Mr Saltzman asked, looking around.

"Yeah, what are you doing here? Thought you wanted nothing to do with this 'mess'." Damon chimed in.

I rolled my eyes and crossed my arms around myself. "I don't but Elena texted me to come over and now she's a no show so here I am."

"How did the search for Isobel go?" I asked the two men.

"It was a dead end. It just led to John instead." Mr Saltzman sighed and ran his fingers through his hair.

"John Gilbert? Why would he work with a vampire?"

"Apparently to keep an eye on the other tomb vampires." Damon answered instead.

Uncle Nate was right. John Gilbert was up to something. I filed away the information in my head for later and nodded again.

"I don't understand..." Mr Saltzman muttered under his breath.

Damon shook his head and started walking towards the door. "It just means we gotta try something else."

Mr Saltzman shook his head. I could tell that this search was wearing him down. He looked almost aged now. There were bags under his eyes and in the dim light, I could faintly see the whites of his eyes turning slightly red. He was worn down by this.

"You know I'm starting to think that maybe you two should just give up looking for your exes." Mr Saltzman and Damon turned their heads towards me. The two men shared a look as Damon shook his head, getting up from where he sat. "Maybe Isabel and Katherine don't want to be found."

Mr Saltzman appeared to take what I said to heart before he nodded. "You're right. I was thinking of giving up anyways."

I gave him a sympathetic smile and nodded. "It's for the best. Instead of chasing ghosts, you should live your life. It's okay to move on."

I could feel the burning gaze of Damon on me. It was clear that he knew that my comments were mostly directed at him. His search for Katherine was getting old and anyone could tell by now that Katherine Pierce did not want to be found. Let alone by Damon.

It was strange. You would think that she would have no problems reuniting with the man she once cared for but here she was running.

It was almost as if she preferred to be a ghost than be considered to be alive. The thought of it kept gnawing at me, as if it was important and I should remember it.

"Yeah, I know." He replied, calmly. Damon didn't say anything. "Look it's getting late, I think I'm gonna call it a night. Want me to drop you off?" Mr Saltzman asked.

I shook my head. "I'm good, my car's out in the front and I'll be off when Elena comes back." I paused in my steps when my phone started ringing. Finally, Elena must have called back, I thought. I took out my phone to pick up the call but froze.

Lexi's name flashed on the screen as I remembered my promise to her. Great. I forgot about babysitting Stefan. "I have to take this." I said to the two men, as I walked past Damon who had left the door of the boarding house open.

"Lexi, hey." I greeted with a tight smile on my face.

"Ava. Thank god, you picked up." She sounded slightly panicked.

"What's up?"

"It's Elena. She's not taking my calls."

That makes two of us. I thought. "Oh. She's with Stefan." I said. It wasn't a lie. Stefan and Elena were always together. I just didn't know what they were doing. "I'm sure they're busy or something."

"You sure?"

"...Yeah." I lied. Lexi rambled on the other side while I tried my best to placate her. I know I wasn't exactly being honest but I had some faith in Elena. There was no way she'd let her boyfriend die. "Look Lexi, I think Elena's got this. Nothing's going to happen to Stefan, I promise."

"I'll trust you on this." She said before hanging up.

Somehow, the thought of having Lexi's trust did not comfort me at all. After all, I did not know as of yet if Stefan would choose to live. I mean I didn't have any of my 'dreams' of him dying or anything so maybe he would be fine. Maybe.

"Don't mind me." I jumped at Damon's voice and turned around, clutching my heart. I mean I felt him coming around but I didn't expect him to eavesdrop. "Just passing by." He added, sauntering over into the room.

I scoffed and shook my head. "You were eavesdropping." I stated. "It's rude, y'know."

"It's my house and you barged in."

"You let me in."

"True." He nodded and walked over to the couch and sat down "So Stefan might be trying to die." Damon said.

"I guess so."

"We should stop him."

"Nice to see you care about someone other than Katherine. You care about Stefan."

He balled his fists up and looked up. "Not really."

"Right." I said, unconvinced. "Come on, he's your brother. I'm sure not even Katherine can erase that and think of all the times he saved your ass."

"Yeah. Out of guilt." He muttered, bitterly. Damon's face twisted as his eyes hardened.

I tilted my head and walked closer to the older vampire. I was confused. Why would Stefan feel guilt towards Damon? Shouldn't it be the other way around, I thought. "Why would—"

"You have no idea, do you?" Damon cut me off and got up. He flashed right in front of me before I could blink. "Do you know how I turned?" He asked. His face, mere inches away from mine. "Do you?"

I shook my head and took a step back. I turned my face away from him, hoping he would take the hint and back off. But he didn't. So I took a wild guess.

"Well, I know Katherine turned you." I stated out loud like it was the most obvious answer in the world.

He let out a laugh before it died out as spontaneously as it had begun. "Yeah but that's not the final step, you're forgetting something."

"You have to die? Your father shot you, if I remembered correctly."

"Because we tried to free Katherine."

"Well, maybe you shouldn't have done that." I mumbled.

Damon ignored me and inched closer. "And Katherine was caught because of him." That wasn't entirely true. I knew who really exposed Katherine and it wasn't Stefan. "My father used Stefan to get to Katherine and like an idiot he led them to her."

He didn't. I should've said. It wasn't Stefan entirely his fault.

No, it was Edmund. His childhood friend, his almost family. I wanted to clear Stefan's name. I should've said it then. But I hesitated. My lips quivered as I held myself back from exposing the truth.

On one hand, I could do it. Tell Damon the truth, resolve the anger between the two but on the other hand, Damon would feel betrayed by his friend. I knew from Lydia's memories that Damon honestly still trusted his friends till his dying human breath.

The betrayal would break his last trust to his past connections. My fear was his reaction. I knew how impulsive he was. I feared that if he knew the truth, he would come after my family.

Edmund might've been long dead but we were still here and knowing him, he would make us pay for what he did.

So I held myself back and acted like I didn't know.

"The council would have found out either way." I pointed out, trying to shift blame and placate my growing sense of guilt. "They were too reckless—Katherine and the rest of the vampires."

"Doesn't matter. Doesn't change the facts, he led them to Katherine. We died. If that wasn't enough, he took away my choice!"

"Your choice?"

"I thought you wanted to become a vampire. For Katherine."

Damon stopped pacing around and turned to look at me. "I did but with her 'gone' I didn't want to live anymore." This time, he left no room for my interruptions.

"All I wanted was her and she was gone or I thought she was." His eyes wandered around the room. There was a distant look in them as if he was elsewhere. "I died the night Katherine and the others were rounded off. When I woke up. I was in transition. Emily had saved us."

"Emily Bennett?"

"She gave us a choice. Live on as a vampire or die. I chose to die initially—without her—there was no point. Stefan, on the other hand..." He trailed off looking away. I pushed him away from me a little to create some distance between us.

The moment I touched Damon, my vision grew dim as the scene around me crumbled away into specks of dust.

Another flurry of dust surrounded me in its storm before I found myself elsewhere. When my vision cleared, it was darker than it was in the Salvatore library. The walls were different. Black and cream patterned wallpaper with wooden paneling surrounded the room.

Instead of lights, there were candles and oil lamps surrounding me.

In the center of the room, in the farthest reaches of the room. There was a desk, it was brightly lit and an old man was hunched over the desk. I scrunched up my face in confusion and started to approach him.

The man scribbled furiously with a quill in his hands. Wait. A quill. I paused and turned around to look at my surroundings. I wasn't at the boarding house. I was in the past.

I heard the sound of the door opening and closing. Turning around to look at the newcomer. I froze. The over-familiar face of Stefan greeted me. He stood quietly, staring at the man. His face half-lit by the lights nearby.

It was Stefan but he was different. His hair was longer and his face deathly pale. It almost reminded me of Vicki.

"Dear God!" The man exclaimed, seeing Stefan. He jumped out of his seat and stood up, defensively.

"Even in our death," Stefan began. "you only feel shame?" He finished

"You're one of them now." The man gasped out.

Stefan shook his head. "No. Father, I came to say good-bye."

Father? Oh. This was Giuseppe Salvatore. That means it was the night after the incident at Fell's Church happened. That meant Stefan was dead already dead and he was in transition.

"—atched you die." Giuseppe carried on.

"You were there when we were shot?"

Giuseppe scoffed. "I pulled the trigger myself."

Stefan's steps faltered as his face crumbled in anguish and betrayal. "Youkilled your own sons?"

I pitied the Salvatore brothers, their own father murdered them. That I didn't know before.

"You were both dead to me the moment you sided with the vampires. I only thank God that your mother isn't alive to see the disgrace you've become."

"I haven't turned yet." Stefan retorted. "I don't want to. I'm going to let myself die, father. Please." He begged, trying to salvage whatever was left of his and Giuseppe's relationship.

"Yes, you are."

Giuseppe acted quickly and took out a black walking cane. He brought it over his knee and broke it in two.

The wooden cane snapped in two.

He let one half fall to the floor and then turned back to his younger son. I watched in silent horror as he drew the broken can, attempting to stab Stefan.

But his undead son was faster, Stefan ducked only for Giuseppe to try again. He missed. In self defense, Stefan threw him. Giuseppe flew across the room and hit the wall.

The sound of wood piercing flesh was heard around the room as Giuseppe clutched his chest in pain. He was stabbed with his own cane.

Seeing what he had done, Stefan rushed over to him. He leaned over his father as the injured man grunted and groaned in the pain of being impaled.

"Father, I didn't mean to." Stefan tried to justify what he had done.

"Get away from me."

"No, let me help you. Please."

Stefan pulled out the broken cane from his father's chest and looked back to check on the wound. But he froze. His eyes no longer showed any concern. His face morphed into an unfamiliar look I had only seen on him once. He stared down at the blood staining the broken can and his fingers in silent awe.

"Stefan..." I tried to call out to him but my voice wouldn't reach him.

Ignoring everything around him, Stefan let the broken cane fall to the floor. His eyes were fixated on the thick crimson liquid coating his fingers and hands.

I blinked fast and hesitantly took a step back. I know this wasn't real and had already happened but I couldn't help but let myself get scared.

Stefan brought his fingers to his lips and that was all it took. It was as if he was possessed, he went back for more. Reaching out into his father's wounds, he took more of the blood leaking out and licked it straight off his fingers.

His eyes turned black as black veins started to form under his eyes. He grunted and groaned in pain before his fangs came out. No…

His father looked on in horror as a crazed look on Stefan formed on his face. I gasped in horror and covered my mouth, trying to swallow up the bile in the back of my throat.

No. I didn't want to see this. I shut my eyes in fear.

When I opened them again, I was elsewhere.

Cool night breeze caressed my cheeks as I walked through the tall grass. Looking around, I was outside and it looked familiar.

The quarry.

"—Haveeat, please." I heard behind me. I whipped my head around to see Stefan. But this time he had a girl with him.

Standing in front of him was Damon who looked shocked to see his brother. I started walking towards the Salvatore brothers, making sure to stop at a safe distance just in case.

"What have you done, Stefan?" Damon questioned. The expression on his face was unfamiliar and almost alien to me. His forehead was scrunched up in concern as he stared hard at his brother.

"Damon, I've been to see father." Stefan started. It was clear to me he was trying to explain what happened in his own words.

"He came at me. I didn't know my own strength. There was blood everywhere. He was dying, and the blood was too strong." He finished recounting whilst looking pitiful but that was not the case. I saw him. He lost himself back there.

"I needed it. I had to have it." The younger Salvatore brother said, like he was trying to convince himself.

"You fed."

"Yes. And it's incredible."

I glanced back and forth between the two. This must be a mistake. Stefan wasn't like that. At least the Stefan I knew.

"My body is exploding with power, Damon." Stefan carried on, inching closer to his brother while still keeping a grip on that girl he had brought along. "I can hear things from far away. I can see through the darkness. I can move, like it's magic. And the guilt, the pain…"

I didn't know this Stefan.

"Damon, I can turn it off. Like a switch. Katherine was right. It's a whole another world out there, Damon."

My gaze moved to Damon, thinking he would follow his brother down the same path. But instead. Damon moved away from the girl and his brother whilst shaking his head in disbelief.

"Katherine is dead, Stefan."

Hearing Damon say that almost shocked me and made me open my mouth in disbelief.

How did things change so much?

I must've been too distracted because the next thing I knew Stefan had pushed the girl onto Damon.

"Don't fight it. We can do this...together." Stefan said as Damon finally gave in.

The scene in front of me crumbled away and the dust from what was left engulfed me into another storm, blinding me. I felt dizzy and unsure of myself. What do I believe in now?

Blinking rapidly, I took a step back, almost stumbling on my feet and falling to the floor. Damon moved fast to steady my steps but I pushed him away and turned away from him.

I couldn't see or be around him. Not without that feeling of guilt. Everything I had known about Giuseppe Salvatore's death was a lie.

Stefan killed his own father. Granted, that man was terrible but to force his brother to turn. I didn't know what to believe anymore. I clutched my phone and took more steps away from Damon.

"You saw it, didn't you?" Damon asked, gazing down at me with a bitter smile. I nodded and looked away. "Do you pity me now?"

"I'm sorry."

"It's not gonna change anything."

That wasn't why I was apologizing. Edmund ruined his life or was one of the factors. Katherine definitely played a part but my family wasn't so innocent after all. I felt terrible.

"No, it's not but…I'm sorry your choice was made for you, you deserved better."

His eyes widened as he took a step closer to me. I shivered involuntarily at the closeness. "...Even after everything I've done."

I licked my lips and nodded. A choice was a choice. Even if he turned Vicki, he wasn't the one to feed her human blood, a positive, I guess but it still didn't erase what he did. Damon was and is a complicated person.

"Ava?" I heard Elena call out. Damon shook his head at Elena's timing and started the fire in the fireplace before moving back to the couch. "You're here." She said.

I blinked a few times before turning back to Elena. Damon stared at me while he nursed a drink in his hands. "Where—where have you been?" I asked Elena, looking away from Damon.

She stared at both Damon and me in confusion before fixing her gaze on me. "I was here. With Stefan."

"Next time, check your phone." I said. Her eyes widened as she quickly fumbled around her before getting her phone out. "You kinda texted me and then disappeared. I called you a bunch of times too. You had me worried about you and Stefan."

"I'm so sorry, I was just—"

"Busy with Stefan." Damon finished for Elena. He was back to his usual self. As if nothing had happened. Unbelievable. I shook my head and opened my mouth to say something when my phone went off. "You should get that. Might be important." He said, taking a swing of his drink.

I looked down at my phone and sure enough it was important. Uncle Nate's name flashed on my screen. I knew what this was going to be about. He was digging into John and now the Gilbert device after I told him about it was important. I quickly excused myself and left the room.


"Where's Elena?" I asked, looking around for my friend who had left me alone. Again.

"Where she always is. With Stefan." Damon answered.

"Okay." I nodded. "But where's Stefan?"

"With Elena."

"So helpful."

I stopped a good distance away from him, putting enough space between us for my own comfort.

Lately it seemed Damon didn't know the meaning of personal space.

At first I didn't mind but now it was different. Yes, I was a hypocrite. I admit but it was hard.

"I changed my mind." I announced.

He turned to glance at me with a lazy grin as if my words were amusing him. "About?"

"Whether Stefan wants to die or live. It's not anyone's choice to make but his. We can't take that choice away from him."

I know my words were going against my promise to Lexi. I was conflicted. Stefan was right. He was dangerous and seeing what he did to his own father made question him a little.

Damon snorted. "That's funny because you were saying something completely different before. He's not dying."

His words surprised me a little. I didn't expect him to say that. Maybe Damon did really care about Stefan. I narrowed my eyes slightly before shifting back to my previous stance. Maybe I'll poke around a bit more and see.

"...I'm sorry that you didn't get much of a choice in this whole thing but y'know at the end of the day you could've rejected feeding on that girl—ran far away…" I took a step towards Damon, clasping my hands together in front of me. "But you didn't...cause you care."

I turned away from the older Salvatore brother and stared at the dying flames in the fireplace.

"You didn't choose to live on 'cause of Katherine…"

"Then who did I choose to live on for?"

"Stefan." I answered. "You lived on for your younger brother." Turning back to stare at him, I met his gaze with mine.

The older Salvatore brother stared deeply into my eyes as if he was searching for a lie or a sign of anything. He narrowed his eyes and took a step closer. "...Maybe I did."

"You did." I said firmly. "Or you wouldn't have gone through the trouble of keeping him alive."

He let out a laugh of disbelief and walked to poke at the fire. I watched him quietly, waiting for his answer as he threw in a few logs of fire. The fire roared and grew bigger while Damon poked it with the poker. Slowly it quietened down. "I wonder…." Was all I heard him say.

He cared. I knew it. Maybe just maybe I'll be able to keep my promise to Lexi. Besides Stefan did change.

His back was turned to me as if showing me his face would reveal his true self. I could barely see the side of his pale face illuminated by the fire.

"You risked your life to rescue him from the tomb vampires, killed Logan because he hurt Stefan and now you're even following Lexi's guidelines to sober Stefan up." I listed, gradually raising my voice. "Maybe Katherine isn't your end goal." I finished.

Damon shook his head. "Thought you couldn't read my mind?" He started stepping closer to me, cornering me against the bookshelves. I should've backed away and left. I should've turned away, at least. But I didn't for some strange reason.

"I can't…" I breathed out.

He licked his lips and gazed at me. His eyes bored into mine before he looked down at my neck where the bloodstone necklace rested. He opened and closed his mouth. "Maybe I do care about him but Katherine is my end goal."

"You'd pick her over your brother?"

He hesitated and didn't answer.

"He's your only family. It's okay to care about him, he cares about you too."

"...I love Katherine."

I froze when I noticed how close he was. Now he was standing face to face. So close that I could touch him. Strangely enough, it didn't make my skin crawl as much as it did before.

The fire crackling behind Damon was all I could hear along with my loud beating heart. I looked up. "I didn't say you didn't." I tried to look away but I couldn't.

"No, but…" Damon gazed at me with a deep unreadable look on his face. His deep blue eyes bored into my caramel eyes. I opened my mouth again to say something, only to swallow my words. "You—"

The sound of the door being opened cut him off as I turned around to check.

Elena and Stefan walked into the room. They were holding hands and Elena looked happier. There was a small smile on her face as if she was trying to hide how happy she truly was while Stefan looked as if he was at peace. He didn't look as insane as he did before. The couple stopped right in front of the door, staring at us, not separating their hands.

Seeing them, I quickly drew back from Damon and pulled a forced smile. "You're back." I said, clapping my hands together. "...And better, right?"

Stefan chuckled. "Hopefully." He echoed.

"You don't mind if I let Lexi know or do you want to—"

"No. I'll do it."

"...Great." I clapped my hands together and nodded. It was a little over the top but I don't know what else I could've said or done. I didn't know how to react to a thing like that after seeing what I saw even if it was in the past. "Everything's fine right?" I asked, looking at him.

Stefan nodded.

I turned around to walk out the door, knowing Elena was staying the night. I saw that look, after all and I so did not want to be the third wheel or be around Damon right now.

It was too dangerous for me to be so close to him or Stefan.

I was getting too comfortable with someone like the Salvatore brothers and I hated it, especially Damon. Because now, everytime I looked at him, a part of me pitied him for what my family did and a part of me wanted him dead while another part of me wanted him around. That part disgusted me.

"Oh and thanks." Stefan called out after a moment. I paused to look at him before raising a brow. "For everything. For the animal blood and for being so patient with me."

"Lexi deserves most of the credit." I said, trying to brush him off and suppress the feeling of disgust.

I know what happened was in the past but seeing him like that was difficult. It was exactly how my family described vampires as. It was exactly like him.

"I agree but you did more than I could've imagined."

"Okay, I'm breaking this up before you both make me throw up from all this—whatever—it is you both are projecting right now." Damon said, almost bitterly.

For once, I was thankful for his intervention. I avoided his gaze before I bid Elena and Stefan goodbye, leaving without sparing a glance at Damon.


4th October 1864,

The Salvatores are all dead.

Giuseppe. Stefan. Damon.

They are all dead.

I knew we went too far, the moment Edmund decided to expose the Salvatore brothers for their involvement with a vampire let alone one as deadly as that woman.

Katherine Pierce was no good. I knew she was the devil incarnate when Stefan introduced us to her as his family's ward. She compelled her way into this cursed town acting as if this was her home.

They tell me she's dead.

Katherine Pierce is dead, they say. Jonathan tells me himself that he was there when she was rounded up with the other vampires. Yet, something tells me that Miss Pierce is not dead at all. After all, she was well acquainted with a witch. I know she's out there somewhere.

I know Katherine Pierce is alive. Her witch may have aided her. However, that is not something I am concerned about.

The Salvatores are all dead.

The most tragic news I could have received.

I don't know what I should do as the guilt from what my brother did devours my whole heart.

My own family is devastated by the news.

Mother spent the whole of yesterday weeping whilst being comforted by father and aunt Henrietta. Father too is upset about the news.

Why would they not be?

My mother and father did raise the Salvatore brothers after the death of their own mother. Edmund tries to hide it but I know my own brother well enough to know he too is devastated by the news. He spent the night drinking away in his office and refused to come down for his meals. Had it not been for uncle Ezekiel and cousin Theodore, we would not be holding together well.

As for me, I am heartbroken. Though I may have not loved Damon, I did care for him as a family. It saddens me to see him simply die like this.

The only thoughts that comforts me is that he did not die for a war whose cause he did not believe in along with the idea that the Salvatore brothers died humans, not lived on as vampires…

- Lydia E. Fitzroy


Author's note: I have a few more chapters left to edit before I upload the new chapters

There are slight changes to plot points and dialogue along with erasing cluttered parts that no longer made sense to me.