Jumachi! Is it wrong to be a gun-blazing Adventurer in the Dungeon? 3 - or 'Lord Tachanka willed me to be his Chosen One, so I can gun trouble down with the power of Lead, God and Anime on my side' (Danmachi, Lord Tachanka's Chosen One!SI)
I am a man with a plan. In most occasions.
This time I would say that the sheer amount of improvisation put behind this move could be defined as 'silly', insane, and, if one has to be quite vitriolic about my decision-making skills, utterly demented. Then again, I wasn't trying to be a smart cookie on this very occasion.
Not when I had to do something drastic to get Lili's situation back in her current familiar solved as radically as it needed to. I had to strike at the heart, deal with the filth, remove the stain and-
"I would like to speak with your God, Soma."
It was meant to be a normal day of sorrow at the main establishment of the Soma domain. The pub was gloomy but the people there were not outright crappy as there were just a few exceptions to the goodness all around: two low-level grunts and one of those 'Oh, my brain is the goodest' kind of bastard.
Zanis Lustra was the main concern, but killing him without true provocation would put me in a bad spot. So… I decided to go quite the awkward way about it. The man tending the pub's counter frowned at my request, giving me a genuine look of confusion.
"Why?"
"Divine reasons, I was given this by my own God."
I asked Tachanka for him to write me this slip which should 'let me in' and let me deal with a 1v1 with Soma himself. The bartender was confused, gave me a quizzical look, but then his confusion melted in just shock at the content of the letter.
He gave me an intense look, knowing that Falna was mixed with the paper and-
"Y-You can see him upstairs. Third room on the right."
I sensed at once that the Familia's captain had perceived something wrong and was walking closer. He was slow-pacing, eyes narrowing at me as he heard the pub tender just tell me where their god was.
I didn't let him catch up to me as I swiftly paced to my destination. After going through a flight of stairs, I found myself knocking and… entering the room as the door had been left open.
I closed it behind me, hearing steps pressing on the creaking wood, looming and approaching, but failing to catch up as I got to the dark office owned by the tired-looking Soma.
He was distracted, but tensed up and turned to look at me as I knocked at the doorstep to his workshop. He gave me a silent look and a grunt.
"I am busy."
I scoffed. "Well, I am not a member of your Familia and I was asked by my deity to speak with you, sir."
"Soma is fine," He mumbled flatly. "What do you seek?"
"I am here for a bit of a promise. See, your decision to ignore your kids is causing issues as your captain is a bit of a shady guy that gave your familia bad rep for stealing from people and causing issues to others," I replied harshly. "Now, the purpose of my visit is to ask for an exchange or two."
"...I am listening."
"I will prove to you that I can handle your super-wine, and you help your familia back and release one of them to mine."
"..."
He didn't answer at first and I just stood there, looking around and finding a small cup around. It looked unused and the liquid was clear. As I gave it a sniff, I recognized some honey but… no alcohol? I was confused, and, out of a strange urge, went to sip at it.
"Don't-"
It was 'too late'. I sipped, and then drank. It was the sweetest thing I have ever got and… yeah, that's all I got. Honeyed to the core in a way that wasn't too sweet, with a strange unfamiliar kick that blended nicely with the sweet. It was… alcohol? But it was so nice and… then that was over.
"Wow, that was… good," I shook my head as I turned to a very confused Soma. "As I was saying-"
"That was my Soma wine."
My mouth was open, but no words could come out as the deity said that. I could only frown and… stare at the now empty cup. "Was it?"
Instead of confirming this, the god went to fish out another cup with the second liquid. This time around, while the effects were similar, I could feel my cheeks flushed as the effects of alcoholic intoxication hit me a lil' bit more.
"...So, about that favor or two."
So, good news, I managed to beat his challenge twice, thus making my request for the exchange feasible.
Soma was stunned by this situation and asked me how I didn't get too influenced by it and, truth be told, I had no fucking clue. Maybe Tachanka was to blame? No, it was different.
Something in the alcohol reacted weird with my taste buds- I usually dislike alcohol and yet I didn't trace its taste. Instead, I got hit by a rather harmonious drink that was refreshing and quite 'energy-giving'. I felt quite awake for a few hours after that.
And… that's where the bad news started, right as the energy-rush ended.
I may have not felt truly drunk, but I got hit by a full-force hangover situation as I found myself groaning at a table of the Hostess of Fertility. I was alone, sipping from a bitter but warm tea and trying to get the migraine I was suffering to go away.
"Here's a pillow, nyah," The brown-haired cat-girl maid, Anya, greeted quietly as she provided me with something to rest my head on while sitting on the table.
"Thanks."
She beamed and went to resume her chores. Up to just twenty minutes ago, the girl had been doing her duties, but she took a questionable amount of care for me once I got in the bar and required some 'care'. It was nice and… it helped with the headache.
Everything was fine as the chatting around the place was not too loud for me to managed when-
"JOHN!"
Fuck, my head…
Lili marched to my table, ignoring the attention she mustered with that loud call and yet seemed to notice my current state of weakness. Maybe it was the fact everything happened so suddenly, with the promise manifesting as true so close to when we made it and… the fact she was free, but the girl sounded extremely 'tame' as soon as she got close enough to me. I had a feeling she was at this point with Soma having upheld his part of the deal.
"A-Are you alright?"
"Hangover. I am mostly… fine. Just don't be loud," I admit I delivered that bit harshly, but-
"Okay, sorry," The Pallum girl mumbled as she took a seat beside me and… went quiet for a moment.
Instead of talking, she just studied my situation, starting with my current slouched self as I didn't stink of alcohol, but I definitely had the symptoms of a severe hangover. Likewise, she seemed to recognize the tea I was drinking as being a 'common cure' to this issue.
Her nostrils flaring in displeasure at the flavor of the brew, but still refraining from commenting just yet. Her gaze moved at the table and… she seemed to lose herself in her thoughts.
…
"You are a dummy."
I sighed. "I think so too."
She flashed a curious look. "Yet you did it despite knowing it was bad."
"I was settling with one cup, he gave me a second one to 'confirm what I just did'."
Her eyes widened astronomically. "T-Two cups?"
"To be fair… I kind of drank the first one not knowing what it was. It smelled good and I didn't know it was… that," I remarked, trying to keep it a secret I drank two full cups of Soma Wine, didn't get outright drunk and maddened by it, and survived the ordeal without any lasting effects.
"I… I see. And you did it for, you know- he told me that you did it for that. And remove the bad elements."
I slowly nodded and- I felt her snuck a quick hug.
"Thank you."
Muffled, but quite embarrassed. I smiled and hugged her back. "You're welcome, Lili."
"..."
She pulled back and then huffed. "I am joining your Familia. How… How is your God?"
"Loud."
She frowned. "Hm? What else?"
"He likes guns- the thing I use to fight."
"You… are using the kind of tone anyone would use to say it is far too excessive to mention in words."
I merely smiled, and she huffed. She was happy that I ordered her some food and we had a bit of free time today since we had to get her accustomed to her new home. I was too wrecked to go out for an adventure and… I have this feeling that I had to give Lili a full-on explanation on how to use guns before getting her to try out how a real one feels as a basic tool to rely upon.
Time was on my side for now. And as we left, I dropped some money as a tip for Anya and… Mia looked amused by this for some reason. Like, really 'giggly' amused.
Women are certainly odd nowadays…
AN
Is Lili's loyal? Not fully. She is relieved, she is thankful, but not fully loyal.
But… she is about to be happy. And she will then accept headpats!
