The Straight Man (Literally) - or 'The Term is far more literal than one would expect.' (Dire Straights, SI)
TW: Chicks with Dicks. If your stomach can't handle, you can easily dodge this read as no one is forcing you to read it.
EDIT: Fanny Price and Izzy Block are characters from the Cherry Mouse Street Verse. Yes, 'Verse' as there are multiple comics- just not all of them have these two as featured characters.
Sometimes, life has an odd way to introduce individuals that, by all means, have barely anything in common.
It so happened that my best option to find a job was through an opening at the Cuerno Blanco High School. I was an Assistant Teacher to Professor Flynn, who was behind Chemistry and that gave off an eerily familiar air with his 'restrained potential' motif. I never mentioned it to him, after all he had promised me that he would help me find a job at one of the nearby Nuclear Facilities without putting me on the spot about it.
So yeah, life had taken a strange turn on me. An Italian in New Mexico, a land where many things tended to get frisky way too quickly to keep track of, but that was overall a livable place. Most of the time.
It wasn't the work application that troubled me, but my living affair. Well, not initially. When I came to Cuerno Blanco with the proper documentation, I found it difficult to find a place to stay.
Professor Flynn had offered me a place at his house, with him being a family friend it kind of felt like an obligation- but I was quick to decline the offer as I knew I couldn't milk the favor my family got on him like that.
I looked into any available places, and found an affordable one. I didn't get to find out who also 'owned' the flat at the time. There were two other tenants and… that's when I met Fanny and Izzy.
If someone had to describe Fanny Price, it is that she is a relatively flirty but 'restrained' girl. She wasn't outright pushing to get fucked, but she was unashamedly a 'top notch slut' through what she tended to boast about. While an extrovert, she wasn't unfamiliar with nerdying about and was the proud owner of some old Pokémon cards she collected as a child.
Izzy Block was somewhat the opposite to Fanny. Relatively an introvert but quite the carefree individual, she was happy to not hang around many people. She was out of school and not planning to go to college since… She didn't know what she wanted to do with her life. Doing multiple jobs she hardly kept and barely making it with cash to pay the rent, Izzy was pretty much a peculiar case and one that 'latched' onto me the moment she realized I would be sticking a lot by the flat whenever I had free time. Stuff like playing video games, watching shows, and playing card games.
She was quite the 'bubble-butted girl', and one that was turned as such by her obsession with Cinnabon as the brand had a stand at the local mall that made some divine stuff. Izzy introduced me to the 'legendary Caramel Pecanbon' and thus we both turned into 'sweet tooth buddies'.
It never got too deep beyond that as she was busy with 'difficult relationships'. She was with two guys that were aware of the disposition but… Izzy is an indecisive person to the bone.
Still, for a time I never had much to complain about these girls. It was clear Fanny was hitting on me despite having a boyfriend- and the fact that she studied at the same school I worked at made for quite the 'big no no' circumstance for me.
All was nice and well despite those shaky details until, one wonderful morning of Saturday, as I enjoyed a much needed break from work, I was given a shocking revelation by Fanny.
At first, it was just Izzy and I getting ready to have a 'EU4 Coop session' to try and have a big wonderful 'Austro-Hungarian' run. It was a rather interesting approach considering she would have to be 'below' me but, due to her natural interest in being a submissive individual, it was easy for her to stomach.
Right as we kicked off the private room, Fanny came kicking the door open and stared wide-eyed at me.
"You thought we were both chicks!"
…Wut?
"Wut?"
"That's silly, Fanny," Izzy remarked
"Nuh-uh it isn't!" The blue-haired girl exclaimed and then turned to me. "What am I?"
"...A girl?"
"Well, he is not-"
"I was born a guy," Fanny interrupted. "And now I am a girl- you thought I was a girl from the beginning, didn't you?"
"...Yes?"
Wait, that means Fanny is a trans?
"You didn't know?" Izzy asked and I shook my head. "Oh. Is it… going to be a problem?"
"Not really?" I admitted with a hint of confusion, then paused to look at Izzy. "Wait, you are also-"
"Nah, I am a guy that likes to dress like a girl, that's all," Izzy admitted as he flashed a smile at me.
"So, this means that you two, all this time, were-"
"Yup and yup," Fanny said while sipping more from her cup of- wait, where did she get a cup of coffee? Actually no, that's not a good question for the main topic.
"So, all those guys that go to your rooms- do they know that you both have-"
"Yep!" Izzy remarked happily, beaming in excitement. "And they are so kind most of the time."
I guess that's fair. Maybe I shouldn't be too shocked about it? I mean, nothing bad happened about-
"So? What do ya think, John~? Do you feel gay now all those times you flirt back to me? Do you feel gay knowing that you came close to, you know, getting close and personal with a girl with a d-i-c-k~?"
Izzy looked at Fanny's cheeky look, his own cheeks flushing.
"I-Is this necessary?"
I hummed about this and offered my best answer.
"I mean, I guess if that had happened if I knew but I just ruled out you were a cute girl. Plus, not really flirting- it would have been more 'intense' in that regard."
Biting her lower lip, Fanny felt giddy. "So-"
"Look, I don't mind, but... Izzy and I really have this big playtime and we are missing it."
"Yeah, we're missing the EU4 multiplayer session- are we done, Fanny?"
"You..." Fanny paused, amusement vanishing from her face. "You two really have a thing to ruin my fun."
Fanny marched away, her smug mood ruined by my general lack of 'heat' at such a revelation. It was a shocking piece of news, but I wasn't the kind of guy that made a fuss about it.
Still, as we were back to the game, it didn't take long for Izzy's trail of thought to catch up and deliver a situation.
"So… you really didn't know?"
"I didn't," I admitted. "Is that wrong?"
"Dude, I got a bulge with a capital B," The femboy pointed out and I have to admit I saw that. "What did you think it was?"
My lips twitched mirthfully. "Would you believe me if I said it was a Caramel Pecanbon?"
Izzy leaned back, a pensive look on his face. "Elaborate."
"Well, maybe if you had a coochie you would have used the sweetness of it to add an extra flavor to the snack. I could see you doing that if you had that."
"I would do that," Izzy admitted in agreement, confirming that he was living rent-free in my brain with his silly logic, and then he smiled. "I know this doesn't change much but… thank you." For caring.
"You're welcome, Izzy."
From this moment onward, things were soon going to escalate… from 0 to 101.
