AN: Hi guys, so yeah Charlie passed last chapter... the next few chapters will be heavy with dealing with loss, just to warn you guys.

If that's not your cup of tea. I'll let you know when to start reading again.

hope you'll enjoy!

Chapter 7 - Loss

EPOV

The week following the news of Charles Swan's passing was rough. Emmett was upset and Haul and harry were definitely torn up.

Training was on a low priority and a dark atmosphere hung around the halls of the park.

Everyone was down.

We'd all liked Charles so the news was hard to digest. We weren't putting much effort into batting today either.

Tomorrow was the funeral and we were struggling to keep ourselves upbeat enough to finish training.

I hadn't been to the park either this week.

We'd simply been too busy with media training on how to handle this situation. Plus it was just emotionally draining.

I'd gone to my parents' house the day after we'd heard the news. They were both devastated by the loss. Carlisle hadn't known Charles personally, but he had wanted to meet him. My mother was of course deeply concerned about Isabella Swan. She'd sent flowers over and even Alice had sent some as well.

I was sure the girl had to be drowning in sympathy bouquets by now

My entire family were all coming tomorrow as well. It was going to be a large and busy funeral.

When Emmett blew the whistle signalling the end of training, we all trudged back to the locker rooms in silence. Everyone was down today, mentally preparing for tomorrow and the day after, so it was quiet for once. everyone minded their own business and focussed on getting clean and dressed.

After changing I headed out and decided I would go to the dog park today with Mike. It had been a while since we'd been and I figured he would like it, though I held no hope of seeing Bella there I still enjoyed seeing Mike happy.

She'd not left my mind completely, but I just hadn't had the energy to worry about whether I'd ever see her again. But as I pulled into the parking lot of the park I couldn't help but feel slightly hopeful. Mike was already rearing to go and I quickly pulled into a spot, put the car in park and headed out.

As I opened the door for Mike, he bounded out and I smiled at his antics, quickly locking the car and setting off after him. With my hands in my pockets I trudged along the pathways that I knew like the back of my hand by now, lost in my thoughts. Though I made sure to glance up every now and then to scan the area for a certain brunette with a giant black dog.

But I didn't find either.

Eventually I passed the bench where we first met and I sat down. Mike was running around happily with the other dogs and I waved to a few of the other dog owners I had seen before. But Bella wasn't among them.

I sighed and rubbed my face tiredly. Mike came bounding over and I scratched his ears absentmindedly until the chill finally got to me and I led Mike back to the car. Just as I was pulling out of the lot I spotted a giant dog running on the field.

I stomped on the brakes without thinking, earning a honk from an impatient driver who had their sights set on my spot. I waved my hand at him and pulled back into my slot. Then I turned around in my seat and searched the field frantically, until my eyes fell on her slender form, hunched over on the bench I had only moments before vacated.

I bit my lip, torn on what to do. Go back to her? Or go home?

I was exhausted. I wasn't sure if I could handle a rejection right now.

but something in the way she was sitting there all alone made me decide to go to her. Mike was absolutely confused as i put the car back in park and got out of the car again. As i opened the door to the back he just stared at me. But as soon as I mentioned Jake his ears pricked up. I gestured for him to get out and he did so obediently, but as I led him back to the entrance he stayed by my side, glancing back up at me with confusion. I headed to the bench and then pointed to JAke running in the field for Mike to see. When his eyes roamed the field and he spotted his friend, he took off with a bound in his step, tail wagging. I thought he would head straight for JAke, but somehow along the way he got distracted and instead veered off to Bella on the bench.

His butt wiggled even more as he approached her happily. He sat himself down in front of her with a lolling tongue and waited patiently for scratches. She looked startled for a moment, but then smiled and her hands went into his fur. I quickened my pace. Her gaze swept up until it found mine and my heart broke for this beautiful woman.

She looked like she hand't slept in about a week. Her pale face was even paler, her cheeks hollow and there were bags under her red rimmed eyes. She was still beautiful though, I didn't understand how she could pull that off. But she did.

I hesitantly approached her. 'Bella?' I asked when I was close enough.

'Edward.' She sighed.

Elation swept through me that she still remembered my name. 'Are you alright?' I asked softly.

She tried to put on a brave face as she turned to me. 'yeah.'

But she didn't fool me. I doubted she fooled herself.

Mike took off in search of Jake and I sat down next to her.

'What's wrong?' I asked.

'Nothing, I'm fine.' She insisted again.

'you don't seem fine.' I hedged carefully.

She snorted. 'I know.' She conceded.

'I don't mean to pry… I just thought… perhaps you'd want to talk about it?'

She heaved a sigh. 'not really.' She muttered.

'oh.' I couldn't help but feel disappointed, that she didn't feel comfortable enough to talkto me. but then again, we'd only met two times. Of course she wasn't about to divulge her life story to me. perhaps I needed to do something to prove that she could trust me.

'I'm sorry if I'm being pushy… it's just… I haven't really stopped thinking about you… I have been coming here hoping to see you every time just so I could finally ask your number and ask you out… I… I want to get to know you Bella. You intrigue me.'

Bella remained silent and I avoided looking at her. I stared at my clasped hands in my lap for a moment longer before taking a deep breath and tunring to look at her.

Tears were welling in her eyes and she just looked so miserable that I started. Had my words caused this? I felt aboslutely horrible and didn't know what to do. I wanted to comfort her, but I also didn't want to make it worse if it was because of me. But as her sobs got louder, my arms went around her without me knowing what I was doing. She cried against my chest as I rocked her gently and stroked her hair soothingly.

'It's okay.' I muttered every few minutes until she seemed to calm down.

'I'm sorry.' she hiccupped as she pulled away.

I immediately let go, not wanting her to feel trapped. 'No, please don't apologize.' I quickly said.

'I've just had a rough week. I've lost the only person I had left.' She said softly.

I frowned. 'I'm so sorry.' I whispered.

She nodded. 'I just… I'm lost right now, Edward. I would be lying if I said I hadn't thought about you too. I did. But… it's just not fair for me to start something with you. I'm a mess. I don't want to drag you into it.'

'what if I want to be dragged into it?' I asked carefully.

It seemed like she had a lot on her plate, but I knew that I wanted to get to know her, ugly bits and all. I wanted to be there for her, soothe her pain like I had just done. It hurt me to see her hurting, but if I could offer her some comfort than I wanted to be able to do that for her.

But she shook her head. 'no. I can't do that to you. I'm sorry, Edward. I have to go.' She said, pushing away from me and whistling for Jake. He came over immediately and she clipped his lead on.

'wait' I begged her, jumping up as well, but being mindful of Jake. I didn't know if I was entirely in his good graces yet and I'd rather not test if he really didn't bite. 'please, just wait.'

She stopped but didn't turn back to me. her shoulders seemed to be shaking with silent sobs again.

I quickly pulled out my wallet and tore of a piece of receipt and quickly scribbled my number on it. It wasn't what I set out to do… but under the circumstances. It was the best I could do and then I just had to hope for the best.

I quickly put the receipt in her hand. 'please, Bella. Please, call me.' I whispered. 'I want to be there for you, even though we haven't known each other very long.'

She shook her head, but her hand curlced around the paper and she put it in her pocket.

'just call me any time.' I muttered. I just had to hope that she would take me up on my offer and call me.

Then clipped mike on the lead and waited until she left the park, before getting gin my car and heading home as well.

Emmett was waiting by my door when I got home.

'Hey man.' I greeted him. 'what's up?'

'I visited Mr Swan's daughter today.'

'Yeah?' I unlocked the door and gestured for him to head inside.

I quickly filled Mike's water bowl with fresh water and gave him his food before offering a beer to Emmett.

'How was she?'

'Fuck… she was… there are no words.' He rubbed the back of his neck. 'she's absolutely devastated but so strong. I was blow away by her. she's carrying the weight of the world on her shoulders… and let me tell you those shoulders look pretty damn fragile.'

'Damn.' I breathed out harshly. 'it's a shitty situation alright.'

'you could say that again.' He blew out a big breath.

'How's Harry dealing with everything?' I asked.

'He's stressed, hurting… and trying to take care of Isabella.'

I nodded. 'Paul's probably being a dick about the entire thing isn't he?'

Emmett nodded and an angry look crossed his brow. 'He actually refused to go see her.'

I furrowed my brow. 'what?'

'yeah. It's just utter disrespect to Mr Swan.'

'fuck. Man I hope that guy gets fired. I'm so done with him. Harry can't possibly think he's a good fit.'

'I'm not sure anymore, man. It seemed him refusing might be the last straw.'

'I fucking hope so.' I sighed and sipped my beer. 'ready for tomorrow?'

He shook his head. 'definitely not.' He muttered. 'it's gonna be a circus. The media is going to be there, wanting a piece of everyone. It's going to be brutal. Not at all the quiet and respectful farewell that man deserves.'

I nodded in agreement.

That was my fear as well. We talked a while longer before calling it a night and Emmett headed out again.

I headed to bed, letting Mike sleep next to me for a change. I usually kept him out of the bedroom but tonight, I just wanted another body, another breath and heartbeat next to me. He snuggled up to me and I buried my face in his fur, falling into a fitful sleep, plagued by two girls.

Bella, alone and crying on the bench, and the faceless Isabella Swan, who was also alone and dealing with immense loss.