'I am so happy that my sisters went on the Jerry Springer show to brag about how they enslaved me,' Misty said. 'Because they did that, Jerry was able to help me to escape the Gym.'

'And then your sisters appointed Dorian from the Coastline Gym in Johto as your replacement, didn't they?' Ash asked.

'Yeah, they knew him. Violet and him used to be fuckbuddies, so that's the main reason why he came there. Dorian and Violet are fuckbuddies again,' Misty said.

'It didn't take you long to go on the Jerry Springer again,' Ash teased. 'That episode about Bayleef made you and me very happy!'

'Let's watch it,' Misty said.

Ash grabbed the VHS tape and put it in the old VHS player, which was still working just as well as it did during the nineties.

2010 - 'My Pokemon wants to shag me'

'JERRY! JERRY! JERRY! JERRY! JERRY! JERRY! JERRY! JERRY! JERRY! JERRY!' the audience chanted, while the talk show host entered the stage in the television studio.

'Hello, welcome to the show. Today, we have a guest who has a problem with her friend's Pokemon. Please welcome Misty Waterflower!' Jerry explained.

'Hi Jerry,' the red-haired woman from Cerulean City said.

'Misty, you are here because there is something strange going on with your friend's Pokemon. What's wrong?' Jerry asked.

'Well, my friend Ash has a female Bayleef. This Bayleef has a massive crush on her trainer,' Misty said. 'Bayleef always hugs and cuddles Ash and kisses him on his cheek. She probably gets turned on when she does that. It's as if she is releasing her sexual energy when she Body Slams him. It's so weird!'

'Many years ago, I interviewed a man who was sexually attracted to his Ponyta. That man is a Pokephile. So your friend's Bayleef is the opposite of that, a Pokemon who happens to be a humanphile?'

'Yes, Jerry. It's weird. Why is Bayleef into a human?' Misty asked.

'Well, I don't know,' Jerry said. 'Is this mutual? Or is Bayleef's crush unrequited?'

'Fortunately, Ash doesn't seem to feel that way about Bayleef,' Misty said.

'What a relief!' Jerry said. 'Anyways, Misty, it was your idea to come on this show to talk about this. Why did you do that? Why didn't Bayleef's trainer do that himself?'

'Ash is too stupid to do so. He doesn't even seem to realise that Bayleef wants to fuck him,' Misty said. 'He is 23 now and still dense. He is so stupid!' Misty complained.

'Ash dense and stupid? Is this the same Ash who was on the show last year, when he didn't realise that his mother was dating Professor Oak for ten fucking years?' Jerry asked.

'Yeah, that's him,' Misty confirmed.

'Wow, talk about stupid...'

'Ash doesn't even know what a condom is. And he doesn't know that sex makes babies,' Misty said. 'That is how stupid he is!'

'Misty, why does his Bayleef bother you so much? If Ash doesn't want to shag Bayleef, you don't have anything to worry about,' Jerry said. 'Is this just because it's weird when a Pokemon is attracted to her Trainer? Or do you like Ash and are you jealous because another woman likes him, even if that other woman is a Pokemon?'

'I AM NOT ATTRACTED TO ASH!' Misty screamed. 'I AM NOT JEALOUS!'

'Sure you're not,' Jerry laughed sarcastically.

'Really! I'm not into him! How could I be attracted to such a stupid man?' Misty lied. However, her face revealed how she truly felt, since she started blushing.

'Well, maybe you just have a thing for stupid men,' Jerry teased.

'JERRY! JERRY! JERRY!' the audience screamed.

'No, I don't have a thing for stupid men!' Misty screamed.

'Sure you don't,' Jerry laughed. Then, he looked at the audience. 'Here is our next guest, Ash Ketchum!'

'Hi Jerry,' Ash said, while he walked into the television studio. His Pikachu was not on his shoulder. The yellow mouse was sitting next to Brock in the audience.

'Hi Ash, do you know why you are here?' Jerry asked.

'I have no idea,' the young man from Pallet Town said.

'Ash, your friend Misty told me that your Bayleef has a crush on you,' Jerry said.

'WHAT?' Ash screamed. 'What are you talking about?'

'The way Bayleef hugs and cuddles you all the time makes it obvious,' Misty said. 'Bayleef is releasing her sexual energy.'

'What the fuck are you talking about? Bayleef just enjoys hugging me. It's cute!' Ash said.

'You are so fucking dense!' Misty screamed. 'Don't you remember how Brock noticed that she has a crush on you? Brock was right.'

'What do you mean?' Ash asked.

'Bayleef is in love with you. That explains why she is so jealous when you give Pikachu preferential treatment. She wants your attention. She wants to be special to you!' Misty explained. 'Bayleef loves you. She wants to be your girlfriend. When she is around you, she acts like Brock!'

'Ash, when you were invited to come on the show, you were asked to bring Bayleef with you. Could you please let her out of her Poke Ball?' Jerry asked.

Ash hurled a Poke Ball in the air. A yellow sauropod-like Pokemon with a green leaf on her head and smaller leaves around her neck emerged from the Poke Ball.

'Bay Bay!' Bayleef squealed. She ran at her Trainer, knocked him over with a strong Body Slam and started cuddling him. She even planted her lips on his cheek.

Misty was furious. How could Bayleef hit on her crush? She wanted to scream at the Pokemon. Paws off my man, bitch! However, Misty could not say that out loud, since she never confessed her feelings to Ash.

'Do you see what I mean, Ash?' Misty asked.

'No! She is just affectionate,' Ash said, while he was still laying on the ground, being hugged by his Pokemon.

The Pokemon Trainer from Pallet Town grabbed his Poke Ball. 'Bayleef, return!'

'Ash, Bayleef obviously has a crush on you. How can you not see that?' Jerry asked.

'Huh? Pokemon don't have crushes on humans!' Ash said.

'They sometimes do. It's rare, but it happens sometimes,' Jerry said. 'I called Professor Oak yesterday. He confirmed that Bayleef definitely has a crush on you and that there have been a few instances where Pokemon had crushes on humans.'

'What the fuck?' Ash screamed. 'So Bayleef wants to fuck me?'

'Yes, she does!' Jerry answered. 'Years ago, I interviewed a man who wanted to marry and fuck his Ponyta. That man is a Pokephile. Your Bayleef is the opposite of that. She is a Pokemon who is into humans.'

Ash hurled a Poke Ball in the air, out of which Bayleef emerged. He had a question for his Pokemon.

'Bay Bay!' the Pokemon squealed, while she Body Slammed and hugged her trainer.

'Bayleef, is it true that you are in love with me?' Ash asked his Pokemon. 'That is what Jerry Springer said.'

'Bay,' Bayleef said while nodding her head and confirming that Jerry Springer, Misty, Brock and everybody else was right. Bayleef was in love with her trainer.

'BOO!' the audience screamed.

'Bay!' the Pokemon screamed, while planting her lips on her trainer's cheek.

Then, Misty had enough. She was no longer able to repress her anger and jealousy. 'PAWS OFF MY MAN, BITCH! ASH IS MINE!'

Bayleef stared at Misty and gave her a dirty look. 'Bay Bay,' she squealed, telling Misty that her trainer was hers.

The Pokemon was furious. How could that red-haired girl interfere with true love between a Pokemon and a human? She used her Headbutt on Misty, smashing the girl against a wall.

'JERRY! JERRY! JERRY!' the audience screamed.

Misty retaliated by running towards Bayleef and trying to punch her in the face, but Jerry's Chikorita intervened with his Vine Whip and moved Misty away from Bayleef.

'CHIKO! CHIKO! CHIKO!' the audience screamed.

After Ash put Bayleef back in her Poke Ball, Jerry walked up to the young man. 'Just before Misty and Bayleef fought, Misty said that Bayleef needs to keep her paws off you, because you are hers. What do you think about that?'

'Well, if Bayleef is sexually attracted to me, of course Bayleef should keep her paws off me,' Ash said.

'That's not what I meant,' Jerry said. 'I was referring to something else.'

The stupid man from Kanto had no idea what Jerry was talking about. 'What do you mean?'

'Well, Misty said that you are hers,' Jerry said, but not before facepalming. How the fuck could Ash be so dense? The dude from Pallet Town was 23 now!

'I AM NOT INTO ASH!' Misty screamed, but Jerry decided to ignore her futile attempts at denying her feelings. 'Ash, how do you feel about the fact that Misty said that you are hers?'

'I don't get it! What did she mean? That I am her friend?' Ash asked.

Jerry facepalmed again. 'I don't think that is what Misty meant.'

'But if she doesn't mean that I am hers as in, her best friend, what does she mean?' Ash asked. 'I don't get it.'

'I know that you don't get it,' Jerry said to the dense young man. Then, he walked up to Misty. 'Why don't you explain to Ash what you meant when you said that he is yours?'

'It was a slip of the tongue!' Misty said. 'I didn't mean anything with it!'

'Of course you must mean something with that. Otherwise you wouldn't have said it,' Jerry teased. 'You said that Ash is yours. Tell him what you mean with that.'

'Yeah Misty, tell me!' Ash said. 'Do you mean that I am yours as in, your best friend?'

Misty knew that there was no way out. She was not ready to confess her feelings for Ash yet. She always wanted to wait until he was able to understand love and sex. Until Ash at least had some basic sexual education. However, she knew that she had to confess now. Otherwise, Jerry fucking Springer would explain everything to Ash. And hey, Ash's mother Delia had zero intentions of educating her adult son about the Pidgeotto and the Beedrill, so Misty would probably be better off confessing and trying to make Ash understand what her confession meant.

'Ash, I don't know how to explain this to you,' Misty muttered.

'Just try to explain it,' Ash said. 'I'm sure I will understand. I'm a smart guy.'

Jerry burst out in laughter. 'Yeah, you're a really smart guy,' he said sarcastically.

'JERRY! JERRY! JERRY!' the audience shouted.

'Well, Ash, do you remember when everyone assumed that we were into each other when we travelled together?' Misty asked.

'Yes. What does that have to do with you saying that I am yours?' Ash asked.

'You're not very bright,' Jerry said to Ash.

'JERRY! JERRY! JERRY!' the audience chanted.

'Ash, when I said that you are mine, I didn't mean that you are my best friend. I meant something else,' Misty tried to explain.

The young, raven-haired man from Pallet Town burst out in tears. 'So I'm not your best friend? That fucking hurts!'

'No, Ash! You are my best friend!' the redhead reassured her crush. 'I''s just... When I said that you are mine, I was referring to something else than friendship.'

'What did you mean?' Ash asked.

'That you are mine in a romantic way,' Misty confessed. 'I want you to be my boyfriend. I love you! I have been denying my feelings for you for thirteen fucking years! And now you will probably reject me,' Misty cried.

'No, I won't,' Ash said. 'I never really understood what Tracey, Brock, Jessie, James, Meowth, Danny, Rudy and Jerry Springer meant when they assumed that we were a couple, but it always felt right to me. Meanwhile, whenever someone assumed that I must like my other female travelling companions that way, it just felt wrong,' Ash explained. 'I don't know a lot about romance stuff, but the idea of being your boyfriend doesn't sound bad!'

'You are not very romantic, but I don't care. I love you!' Misty said. 'Do you love me as well? You know, as more than friends?'

'What do you mean?' Ash asked.

'You are so fucking stupid!' Misty yelled. Then, she tried to stay calm. 'I mean, are you in love with me? Do you want to be my boyfriend?'

'Of course I do!' Ash confirmed. 'I never really understood what I felt, but when I saw you wearing a bikini or that skimpy mermaid outfit, my penis got hard. Brock said that I was feeling like that because I love you. And my penis is getting hard now as we speak.'

While Jerry and the audience laughed their arses off, Misty got up from her seat, rammed her tongue in Ash's mouth and gently licked his tongue.'

'JERRY! JERRY! JERRY!' the audience chanted, while Ash and Misty kept French kissing for well over a minute.

'Aww, those two little lovebirds are so cute!' Jerry said.

'Ash, I will teach you about love and sex,' Misty said. 'And when we get out of the television studio, I will take care of that hard feeling between your legs. I will give you a blowjob!'

'A blowjob? What is that?' Ash asked.

'A blowjob is when you suck someone's cock,' Misty said.

'I have no idea what that is like, but it sounds nice,' Ash said.

'You will love it,' Misty promised. 'I never gave someone a blowjob before. I never had sex before. I never even kissed anyone before. I was waiting for you all those years. Now it's time to have some long overdue fun!'

'There is just one thing I still don't understand,' Ash wondered.

'There are a lot of things you don't understand,' Jerry teased.

'What do you mean, Ash?' Misty asked.

'Why did Bayleef's behaviour bother you so much? Does it have something to do with your feelings for me?' Ash asked.

'Yes,' Misty admitted. 'I was jealous, because she was flirting with you. I always got jealous when other women were interested in you. Do you remember Melody on Shamouti Island, who kissed you on the cheek? I freaked out when she did that!'

'Oh, so that is why I fucking hated Danny and Rudy on the Orange Islands? So I was jealous back then?' Ash asked.

'Yes! I wasn't interested in them at all, but the way they were flirting with me drove you crazy,' Misty said. 'And in the same way, I hate it when Bayleef flirts with you.'

'Well, Ash, it looks like Ash learned a lot today,' Jerry said. 'And after the show, you are going to learn even more. Misty seems to be very horny, and so are you!'

'Horny? What does that mean?' Ash asked.

Both Misty and Jerry facepalmed. Then, Jerry decided to say something. 'Horny. Up for it. In the mood for fun.'

'What kind of fun?' Ash asked.

'Sex,' Jerry said. 'Now that you and Misty are boyfriend and girlfriend, I think you two will be having a lot of sex.'

'I don't know what that is. I often hear people use that word, but I don't know what sex means,' Ash wondered.

'I will teach you later today. But there is something I just have to do now,' Misty said. She walked up to Ash and jammed her right hand in his pants.

'What are you doing, Misty?' Ash asked.

'After wondering for years, I just had to feel how big you are down there,' Misty said. 'Your cock is freaking huge!'

'JERRY! JERRY! JERRY!' the audience chanted.

A few seconds after removing her hand from his cock, Misty jammed her hand in Ash's trousers again and started playing with his hard Metapod.

'Misty! Misty! Oh yeah! Oh yeah! Oh! Oh!' Ash screamed. It did not take long until he ended up with a visible wet spot on his jeans, caused by his orgasm.

'That is what we call an orgasm,' Misty explained.

'That is amazing! I want more orgasms!' Ash shouted happily.

'I'm sure Misty will take care of that after the show,' Jerry said. Then, he addressed the audience for some final thoughts. 'Of course it's strange when a Pokemon wants to sleep with a human. However, it actually worked out well today. Because Misty was so jealous of Bayleef, she accidentally confessed her feelings for Ash. And now, they can finally be together and have fun after years of unresolved sexual tension and repressed feelings. Until next time, take care of yourself and each other.'