Chapter 3

"I kept nagging him because time was running out. Soon it would start to show, so what? My parents would never have accepted that I got pregnant out of the blue. I started to get nervous and in end I just didn't say I was. I put out feelers to Mike again concerning the move, marriage, children. I even organised a dinner at a romantic restaurant, but in vain. To make things worse, he got angry and yelled at me that he didn't want children and that in the middle of the restaurant. I wish the earth would have opened under my feet straight away. He left and I stayed there. Dessert was yet to come. Ice cream. It became a milkshake. I was able to keep a calm appearance, paid the bill and left. Then I cried my eyes out in my car, but it didn't solve my problem. I started to panic and then I did something I'm still ashamed of. I went back to the town where I grew up and went in search of an old boyfriend. Stuart. He was my best friend when I was a teenager until my parents moved to Sydney. I was lucky, he was still living there. Luckily he was a classic guy with the same habits for years. Every Saturday he went to the pub to eat something and have a drink with his friends. I went to the pub and he was there. He was on cloud nine when he saw me and we had supper together. I was more than kind to him and I felt he was still head over heels in love with me. I arranged for us to meet the next day for a trip and at the end of the day we had supper again. I filled his glass more than usual so he was tipsy and we had sex. When I told him a few weeks later that I was pregnant, the poor sod believed me. He was so happy to have a child. We got married and I became Mrs White and I had a father for my son".

Maxine stopped suddenly and swallowed.

Kate wasn't the least surprised to see tears running down her cheeks.

"Oh my God", she mumbled and stood up to fetch a box of tissues.

"Thank you", Maxine whispered, taking one and wiping her eyes.

Suddenly, Kate wasn't sure of anything anymore. Things and conversations of the last few years with Mike came to her mind. A deep sense of unease washed over her and she began to feel dizzy.

"Have you ever talked about deepening your relationship?", Maxine asked.

"Uh, yes", Kate said uncertainly.

"How did he react?"

"Uh, he said we have to be careful with the risk of breaking the fraternization rules".

"Uh-hu. Did you talk about marriage?"

"Yeah, of course".

"And?"

"He said I was in too much of a rush. We had to start a relationship first. I didn't understand it that way. I thought we had a relationship", Kate said unhappily.

"Did you talk about starting a family?"

Kate looked at Maxine, tears in her eyes, "Yes, of course I did!"

"How did he react?"

"He was beating around the bush or he wasn't responding or he started talking something else and on one occasion he just said the children were not on the agenda yet", she said dully.

"Other weird answers to such questions?"

"Hmm, ignorance, but there was an incident where he was quite direct. We were unloading aid supplies on Samaru and I was rather pissed off that day. He must have noticed and asked what was going on. I told him what it was all about, what my expectations were and what I wanted. When I asked him what he wanted, he just answered 'coffee'. And it made me so happy, you can't imagine!", Kate answered bitterly.

"It seems too familiar to me. And during shore leave, you were only good for sex, weren't you?", Maxine asked plainly.

Kate blushed and dropped her eyes.

"Yes", she said faintly.

Shit. How is it possible? Right in target. For that he was always there. No agenda, no fraternization rules, still fighting fit and very fast.

She was hot and cold and her vision was starting to blur.

"I….I think I need a drink. You too?", she asked, standing up.

"Yes please", Maxine answered.

Kate took a step and suddenly everything went dark, she fell and hit the coffee table.

When she woke up, she noticed that she was lying on her bed. Maxine was sitting beside her with a facecloth in her hand.

"Huh? What happened and what am I doing on my bed?", Kate asked confused.

"You got up to get us a drink and passed out. I guess the emotions overwhelmed you. Unfortunately, when you fell, you hit the coffee table", Maxine said.

"I can feel it. My head is throbbing", Kate answered, touching her head and pulling a face.

"Indeed, there's a huge bump on your forehead", Maxine said putting the cool facecloth on her forehead.

Kate moaned. "How did I get to my bed?", she asked.

"I carried you".

"Huh?"

"I'm not made of sugar, you know".

Kate sighed and closed her eyes for a moment.

Then she looked at Maxine.

"Thanks", she simply said.

"No worries", Maxine replied.

"I still need that drink. You too? I have to come to terms with the whole situation", she said, leaning on her elbows.

"Yes, I would like to", Maxine answered.

"Water, coffee, tea, wine, beer, something stronger?", Kate asked standing up.

"Wine will do, if you don't have to open a bottle, of course", Maxine answered.

"Never mind, I also need a drink", Kate replied leaving the bedroom to go the kitchen.

Maxine followed her into the kitchen. Kate didn't hear the click of the heels and glanced at her bare feet.

"Carrying someone in heels is getting into trouble", Maxine simply said, accepting a glass from Kate.

Kate gave Maxine a bowl with crips and grabbed her own glass and the bottle.

In the living room, they sat next to each other on the couch and took a sip.

"I don't know what to think anymore", Kate said in disbelief.

"I had to do something, Kate, because it was just the same film script unfolding in front of my nose. After Jim died, I couldn't stop him anymore. I foresaw this break-up and I really regret that I couldn't do anything about it. I knew he was a big jackass and you were the opposite. I'm even more surprised that you put up with this for almost a year. Did you never noticed the mess in his house?"

Kate shook her head, "No. Maybe I didn't want to see anything", she said faintly.

"Or he had cleaned up to make a good impression", Maxine mused.

"You could have told me about him, right?", asked Kate, slightly irritated.

"Kate, do you really think you would have listened to me if I had told you that straight away?", Maxine replied.

Kate bit her lip and shook her head.

"I didn't want you to end up with a child without father", Maxine said before taking a sip.

Kate could feel her elder's pain.

"How...how did you cope? Could you give it a place", she asked cautiously after taking a sip.

Maxine took another sip and sighed, "It consumes me from the inside out. There has not been a single day I haven't thought about it!", she answered sadly with tears in her eyes.

"Jeez ma'am, that's awful", Kate answered.

"Kate, please, call me Maxine or Max. Drop the madam. I'm an approachable person, you know", she said and took another sip.

Kate drank her glass and presented the bottle, "Another one?"

Maxine nodded, "Yes please", she said, handing her glass.

"Max, you said you took your husband's name, but what's your maiden name?", Kate asked refilling Maxine's glass.

"Percival", Maxine replied.

"Oh, pretty name".

"I know, much better than White, but what can you do about it?", she replied bitterly.

"Uh-hu. What I don't understand is why Mike is Ryan's godfather?", Kate asked after taking a sip.

Maxine sighed. "Ryan is his son and I wanted them to know each other. So indirectly, Ryan now knows his father".

Kate frowned, "So it must be hard to see Mike again?"

"It's the price to pay. Each time it's a struggle against his charm offensive", Maxine replied gloomily taking another sip.

"Did you win?"

Maxine shrugged, "Sometimes. I guess you're stronger than me. I always started with a firm intention, but he was so charming and generous with wine that I lost all sense of reality. The next morning, I was banging my head against the wall, because he had done it again", she said desperately.

Maxine, hearing no response from Kate, looked at her and saw her eyes filled with tears.

"Oh my God, you too! Did it happen to you too?", she asked.

Kate grabbed her glass and drained it in one gulp.

"It...it happened just ... like you said. His smile, his charm, his kindness and wine. The rest came automatically", Kate said, wiping the tears from her cheeks.

"Asshole!", Maxine said, taking the bottle to refill the glasses.

"Take a sip and try to forget", she said.

Kate rolled her eyes, "It's easier said than done. Normally I control everything, but this time...", said Kate shrugging her shoulders taking another sip.

"And it makes me so angry! If I had known. I had to make choices and I made them. Then I had my expectations, but they're all scattered now", Kate said with wet eyes.

"Choices you said? Was there anyone else too?", Maxine asked.

"Max, I don't know it's wise to tell that…."

"Kate, it's just a conversation between two women".

Kate looked at the opposite wall, "I also had feelings for our bosun, Dylan Mulholland. I still have some, I think".

"Dutchy?"

She nodded.

"Does he know?"

"No, I never told him. We're good friends".

"Hmm, has he moved on yet?"

"We exchange e-mails from time to time and I think he's still single".

"Don't wait too long Kate. Give him a chance and better do it today rather than tomorrow otherwise you will continue to worry and it's not good", Maxine said.

Kate shrugged, "I don't know if he's coming back to Cairns. He's serving his apprenticeship now".

"Just talk and when you get the feeling that this is getting serious, let me know and we'll find something, okay?", Maxine said.

"Yeah okay, I will do it", Kate said with difficulty.

Both emptied their glasses.

"Jeez, I'm tipsy. Fasting wine wasn't a bright idea", Kate said pinching the bridge of her nose.

Maxine chuckled, staring at her empty glass, "I'm afraid you're right. I missed lunch due to a conference call with Canberra and now I don't feel sober at all".

Kate roared with laughter, "Great! We don't even need Mike to get drunk".

"Totally agree!", Maxine laughed.

"Oh my God, I…I'll see I can cook us some food", Kate mumbled, standing up.

"Nah, order a pizza, I'll pay, but we'll keep the wine away…"

End of Flashback

Kate smiled.

"We have been friends ever since", she said.

"Jeez! I never thought Flynn was such an asshole! It's good that you met Dad. By the way, how did you tell him?", asked Maddie.

Kate passed her hand over her hair, "My God! How? That's another story. And the way I did it was not exactly the most refined!"

"Hmm, was it also at the same time you were promoted?"

"Yeah indeed".

Meanwhile, they had just been served their goat cheese salad ordered for lunch.

To be continued