Chapter 12: What's In Your Heart?

Jack had woken early as usual. It seemed to be becoming a habit of his these days. Again, he had crept down the hall and landed in Elizabeth's bed—thoroughly waking her. After too short of a snuggle with his mother, they decided to embrace the day and get up together.

Elizabeth ran her hand along her row of dresses in her closet. It was a cool crisp morning in mid-September—a reminder that fall in the Rockies was already here. She chose a light blue floral top that buttoned all the way down the front with a lined cream skirt for warmth.

She turned in the mirror smiling to herself while trying to picture her dashing Mountie behind her. Nathan seemed to be consuming more and more of her thoughts lately and she found herself dressing with the hopes of seeing him briefly each morning.

Elizabeth pinned the front of her hair back with a pearl studded hair clip, and her soft chocolate brown curls cascaded down her back. She opened her worn wooden jewelry box to find some simple pearl drop earrings.

She smoothed her skirt as the light caught the diamond she still wore on her left hand. Gently, she lifted it to her heart as it glistened—ushering in dozens of memories of the first Mountie that owned her heart.

Memories like walking down the aisle of the church to a teary-eyed Jack smiling in his dress serge. Then, hundreds of candles surrounding her soldier on bended knee in front of his little white schoolhouse. Followed by the memory of running after Sargeant as Jack dismounted and swung her around with a kiss. Memories like dancing cheek to cheek at Jack's makeshift Mountie ball. A kiss in the rain on Jack's land, then the memory of finding a little painted Mountie and teacher in the corner of a canvas. The scene changed in her mind at last to a dusty handshake in her former classroom in the saloon and the twinkle in Jack's eye as she held on for a little too long.

She subconsciously spun the rings on her finger soaking in the memories—touching one of the last pieces of her husband Jack that she still carried with her. The knocking over of blocks and scrambling feet downstairs brought her back to the present.

She rushed to the stairs in a panic when she heard the familiar sound of her son's fumbling with the door knob. Did I lock it last night? She was midway down the steps when she saw the door fly open and Jack smash into a pillar of red at the door.

"N'atan!" Jack muffled into his serge. His arms attempted to clasp around his broad chest. Nathan must have heard the fumbling and anticipated the ambush for he had quickly crouched to the boy's height and scooped him high up into the air.

Jack was giggling at the drastic elevation change and Elizabeth paused on the steps to take in the beautiful sight and sound. Nathan hugged Jack tight and looked over his little buddy's shoulder. There she was.

Elizabeth was a vision standing midway down the stairs with soft dewy eyes taking in his every move. Nathan seemed to be frozen too as Jack pulled back to look at his hero who had suddenly stopped squeezing. Looking between his mother and Nathan, Jack smiled and pushed himself back further against Nathan's chest to look him in the eyes. "Hi N'atan! You bwing Newton?"

Nathan tore his eyes away from Elizabeth and smiled down at Jack. "Yeah. He's outside. Do you want to bring him a carrot? …If it's ok with your mama of course."

Two pairs of blue eyes looked to her pleadingly. She laughed to herself at both of them snuggled together cheek to cheek before she nodded her approval. She wasn't sure who looked more pleased—Jack or his Mountie. Nathan flashed her a lop-sided grin before he turned and descended the front steps with Jack in his arms.

Nathan rifled through his loaded saddle bag and produced a carrot for Jack whose eyes were as big as saucers at the opportunity. Nathan gently opened Jack's hand. "Now hold it flat like a table for Newton to eat off of." Placing the carrot in Jack's hand they rounded back towards the porch where Newton stomped in excitement for the treat. The horse's breath let out puffs of steam in the cool air from his nostrils.

"Dagon," Jack whispered in amazement. Nathan's eyebrow crinkled in confusion as he looked to Elizabeth at the door for translation.

"Dragon" Elizabeth repeated. "Does Newton look like a dragon to you Jack?"

He nodded in awe. "Hot." He tenderly touched Newton's muzzle.

Newton nickered. "Don't get a big head." Nathan teased his partner. "You're still a horse. Besides, I don't think dragons eat carrots." Newton snorted at that. Nathan ran his hand down Newton's mane and Jack offered his carrot from the safety of his spot perched on Nathan's hip. Newton happily gobbled it up—much to Jack's delight.

"Alright Mister, we'd better get you back inside to your mama. It's cold out here." He flashed a smile up at Elizabeth whose heart melted further at the man she loved so gently teaching her son. She stepped to the side letting both of them back inside her warm house.

She closed the door firmly to keep the chill out. Jack settled back on the floor again with his blocks and Mounties recreating the fort he had accidentally knocked over at Nathan's arrival.

"Constable, it's nice to see you so early this morning. Can I…warm you up?" Her voice lowered as she stepped closer assaulting his senses with a heady mix of lavender and vanilla.

He glanced briefly at the roaring fire in her stove and swallowed. "That's not why I came, but…"

"It's cold out there. Take it off. I'll warm it up." She insisted with a fire in her eyes all her own.

"Yes M'aam." Nathan replied with a shy smile as he unbuttoned his collar and top buttons revealing his form-fitting henley and suspenders.

Elizabeth knew she should look away, but she was completely captivated as a blush rose to her cheeks and her teasing confidence from before melted away.

Nathan cleared his throat and looked down at his boots as he shrugged off his serge to her waiting outstretched hand. "Elizabeth…I actually came to talk this morning."

Her eyes flared as fear took hold at the hesitation and tone in his voice. Her chest clamped down in response—briefly taking her breath. She noticed for the first time the sadness reflected in his gaze. She clutched his serge close to her chest for comfort. "Nathan, what is it?"

He rubbed his henley covered arms uncomfortably. He glanced nervously over at Jack who was engrossed in his play. He took several steps closer to Elizabeth and dropped his voice to just above a whisper.

"I got a telegram this morning from headquarters. There was a train robbery near Lethbridge. It's a group of six guys."

At this, Elizabeth stiffened and looked alarmed calculating the danger he was obviously going into.

Having decided the full truth was better than the anxiety of unanswered questions Nathan continued, "They are believed to be armed, but they haven't killed anyone. They forced all of the passengers into the back two cars and uncoupled them from the train before they escaped with the bank roll in the front cars. The train continued on to High River before the robbers abandoned the remaining train crew still on the train. Then they escaped on a bridge and headed down to the river."

Elizabeth took a breath releasing some of the tension in her shoulders. She looked deeply into his eyes and nodded silently as if asking for more detail. She clutched his serge close to her face like a child with a security blanket.

Nathan continued slowly—glancing again at Jack to ensure he was still playing and unaware of their discussion. "Two of the guys were captured near Calgary, two attempted to cross into the US before they were captured, but two more men are still at large and are believed to be heading North…potentially looking to hide out in the mountains. Gabe and I are tasked with searching between Brookfield and the Cline River. There are other Mounties searching closer to Spruce Grove who we will likely rendezvous with."

Elizabeth paused waiting for any more information. When Nathan seemed to be finished, she set his serge on a chair and crept closer to Nathan. Her face was drained of color, but she sought Nathan's embrace as a source of comfort. He wrapped his arms around her and rested his chin on her hair.

"I'll be tracking them with Gabe. There is no one in the field that I trust more and I know he is just as eager to get back to Lillian as I am to get back to you."

Elizabeth took a deep breath and buried her head on his henley covered shoulder wrapping her arms tightly around his middle. Blood coursing through his veins at the heat in her touch. Nathan pulled her close and kissed the top of her head trying to offer her what comfort he could. He gave her a few minutes to process as he felt her lightly trembling under his fingers.

She breathed in deeply his woodsy scent of cedar and leather. Under different circumstances, she would soak up every moment of their sudden closeness. Instead, she found herself clinging to him for dear life—etching every inch of him into her memory in case this hug was their last. Logically, she knew the percentage was small that history would repeat, but the heart cares neither about logic nor statistics.

She calmed her breathing—settling into the reality that their time together was borrowed and that he likely had to set out on the trail soon. Elizabeth crossed over in her mind from hopeless despair into benevolent action. She held him tightly for one more moment, breathed deeply and turned to her stove to warm his serge.

Nathan looked up surprised at her sudden change and smiled warmly at her resolution. Elizabeth hung his serge on a chair near the stove and reheated the teapot. She rifled through her cabinets and icebox wordlessly pulling out cookies, biscuits, and dried fruit wrapping them in a clean handkerchief.

She may not be able to control the circumstances of his going, but she was not going to send him off empty handed.

Touched by her gesture, Nathan approached her in the kitchen and took hold of her hands that were still slicing the sandwich she had just made.

"Lizbeth, thank you. You don't have to do all of this for me. It isn't why I came over. I just wanted you to know where I was and what I was doing. I didn't want you to hear it from anyone else or assume the worst. Allie is staying with the Weise family and I will come home as quickly as I can."

Elizabeth's eyes filled with tears. "I know you will. I'm sorry. I just worry about you out there and I wanted to do something to help. I'll keep an eye on Allie and make sure she is ok while you are gone."

"Don't apologize, Lizbeth. This is very kind of you. I'll miss you every minute….and thank you." He brought her hands to his lips and kissed the hands that were caring for him holding them close to his rapidly beating heart.

"I'll miss you every minute. I'll be praying for your safety and for your partner's.. If Lillian trusts him with her heart, he must be a good man. Is he a good Mountie?"

"Yes. I trust him with my life." Nathan's eyes gently bored into hers with unwavering candor.

Elizabeth took a breath as a measure of peace washed over her features. "Then I will too."

She snuggled closer again resting her head on his shoulder. He slid his hands around her trim waist and pulled her in close where both their hearts beat in tandem.

After a few moments, Nathan reluctantly whispered against her hair, "I have to go." She nodded and grudgingly pulled back herself. She gathered the handkerchief-covered parcel of baked goods in one hand. He held her other hand as they walked together from the kitchen back to her serge covered chair by the stove.

He threw the warmed fabric across his shoulders and he started to re-button his serge from the bottom. Setting the package down, she reached out and buttoned his collar—buttoning from the top down until their hands met again in the middle. With tears in his eyes, he kissed her hands again—his lips lingering as his eyes poured deeply into hers blurring with tears. He glanced briefly at her lips and back up into her eyes which lit with hope.

Scurrying feet gave short warning before two little arms slammed into their legs. "Bye N'atan! Wuv you." The tears spilled over now as he dropped her hands and sunk down to Little Jack's level. "I love you too, Buddy. You take care of your mama for me until I get back, ok? I've got to go catch some bad guys."

"Ok N'atan." He nodded holding his mother's leg—already taking his job seriously. Nathan kissed Jack's head and ruffled his hair much to his amusement.

Standing up, he returned to Elizabeth giving her a watery smile. "Thanks for taking care of me and for warming me up." He nodded to the desk with the care package.

"You're welcome. Be safe Nathan." They shared one more brief hug before he tore himself away and led her to the door kissing her hand once more before he took the package from her other hand.

Little Jack returned to his toys, but Elizabeth stood at the door watching Nathan descend her steps as she was overcome with emotion. She and Jack had wasted so much time dancing around each other. Tomorrow was never promised and Nathan deserved to know where he stood in her heart.

He was still arranging his saddle bag when he heard the door and saw Elizabeth streaking across the porch towards him.

"Nathan, wait!" His face broke out into a full smile to see the woman he loved racing back into his arms.

"I love you Nathan Grant. Come back to me." Her eyes bored deeply into his until she stole a quick glance at his lips. It was all the encouragement he needed as he slid his hand across her jaw and into her hair and claimed her lips with his. She leaned into him answering him back deepening the kiss.

Time stood still and the culmination of four years of misunderstandings, dancing around their feelings, hurting, waiting, and healing sealed this new season with a tender kiss. Hope and new dreams swirled about them as the emotion of him leaving settled in.

He broke their kiss and gently kissed her forehead—his thumb grazing her cheek tenderly. "You're a hard woman to leave Lizbeth," he whispered against her hair.

She sighed and held him tighter—that one phrase reached down into the depth of her heart like a healing balm. She wasn't easy to walk away from. It had been an unanswered question that had lingered for years in her heart and in her mind ever since she started to court Jack. The call to the Mounties was strong in Jack's heart, but this Mountie longed for her above all else.

"Be safe. Come home to me Nathan Grant." She hugged him one more time and kissed his cheek resolved to let him go—confident that he at least knew her love.

With a sad smile, he untethered Newton from the porch and mounted his horse. He tipped his hat to her. Looking up he raised his hand to a wave at the sight of Little Jack clambering up to the window.

His blue eyes bored into hers with a lop-sided grin filling his face as he answered confidently back, "I love you Elizabeth Thornton." He tipped his hat again and turned with Newton nudging him into a canter. He was willing himself towards the call he had to answer and away from the place he most dearly wanted to be.

Elizabeth stood at the end of her walk with one foot in the road watching him go. She was thankful that he looked back twice before he disappeared and although he was growing further and further, his smile was evident despite the distance.

A loud slow clap broke through her thoughts after he disappeared over the hill. Her blonde-headed neighbor stood with one eyebrow raised. She was clapping with a sympathetic, but mischievous smile. "It's about time Elizabeth."

Elizabeth choked out a laugh as she wiped her eyes with the back of her hand. The heat rose in her cheeks dispelling the cool autumn air. "Is there anything you don't see around here?" Elizabeth asked indignantly.

"Oh I think the whole row heard that declaration. It's nice to see you two shouting in the street about something worthwhile. It's about time our Constable had a nice sendoff." Rosemary was delighted as she approached her next door neighbor. "Come on. Grab Jack and I'll put some tea on. I've already made breakfast. We've got plenty to catch up on and you could use a friend right now."

"But Rosemary, I have school in an hour…" Elizabeth half-heartedly protested. She did need to eat and Rosemary was a wonderful cook. It's not like she had started breakfast with other…distractions this morning. "Alright, we'll be right over."

Rosemary clasped her hands in front of her chest with a little skip and an audible squeal.

"And Rosemary?" Elizabeth made sure she caught her glance so she knew her sincerity for Rosemary's thoughtfulness. "Thank you."

Rosemary smiled and nodded as she hurried back inside. Elizabeth trodded back up her steps and called for Jack. It was going to be ok.

A/N:

::happy squeal:: First kiss! Rosemary's little squeal at the end is me soaking up what should have been for N&E. I hope you enjoyed it too.

Thanks for your patience! I'm pouring my heart into What Child Is This? for my gifted Christmas story to Lauralyn. This story will likely have a slower update in the coming weeks so if I don't get a chance to update this one again, Merry Christmas! I'm so thankful to all of you readers who have been so kind and welcoming to me as a newbie author.

As I'm spoiling in the A/N on What Child on the next update, I'm revealing that my three stories: But Now I See + What Child Is This? + You'll Always Be My Little Girl are sequels of each other in my fic canon. So if you read all three, you can go backwards and forwards in their family timeline. Hope you have fun finding the Easter Eggs through those stories as I'm attempting to tie them together as I write them.

The train robbery is an amalgamation of 4-5 different train robberies according to my Google search that I'll mix them together for my story's sake, but I placed it in Lethbridge because there are only two recorded Canadian train robberies with the most famous occurring in Lethbridge. The one I refer to was only a year or two in the future from where my canon is so I messed with the dates a little, but there's your Canadian fudged history lesson. Ha!