19 - More Than Memories

~*Jack*~

"Captain…" I greet.

"Sir, we potentially have a major problem." Paul Thorn sits down.

"Another one?"

"Someone is going through our security tapes. Collecting information. They have been doing so for years."

"Not just the one video?"

"No." Paul sighs. "I think I have a suspect."

"I think I have a suspect too."

~+~+~.

Beth Parker's house is searched. If she's the reason Sam was kidnapped by that maniac…

"Another computer with evidence? How kind of her not to delete anything."

"She tried, actually, but she forgot to delete the backups." Paul shows me. "Even that was encrypted, but…"

"Good job."

"Dr. Jackson was helpful with the translations."

"She knows more than one language?"

"A little. Dr. Jackson thinks she mostly used computer to translate."

"So…what is she collecting?" I open up the lonely file. "Oh, fu…" Tok'ra.

"Every Tok'ra that has ever been on our base."

"Including members of the council." I angrily hit my desk, sighing loudly. "Well, they are never going to trust us again." I see the video that Pete had. I sigh. "This will be considered an attack on them."

"Meaning…what exactly, sir?"

I don't answer.

~+~+~.

Beth is sat down in front of me.

"Parker."

"Sir, I didn't do anything."

"I never could figure out a reason you would make a false report that you knew would go no where."

"That wasn't me."

"It turns out, Malek wasn't the only Tok'ra you tried to get too friendly with."

"I was curious about them, and I overstepped my bounds. I was told they liked aggressive flirtation and certain…kinks, and… Alright. I find them…fun. I took it too far."

"Who told you they liked aggressive flirtations?"

She sighs. "I don't remember."

"You harass them until they stop coming around and another representative is sent instead. That didn't work with Malek, so you tried to embarrass him away."

"Why would I do that?"

"My guess is that you are paid per picture."

"Check my accounts."

"Accounts can be hidden."

"My house was searched. Was there anything to indicate that I had secret money?"

"How did Zar know Pete had pictures of Tok'ra?"

"I don't know anything about this. I'm sorry. I thought Malek liked me."

"Based on what?"

"I don't remember, sir. It's been years." She sighed. "I wanted him to like me. I thought he might…"

"Give in?"

"I was disciplined. I took my punishment, and I stopped bothering the Tok'ra. I haven't flirted with any of them since."

~+~+~.

Please, don't be Delek. Please, don't be Delek. Please, don't be Delek.

I sigh.

It's Delek.

"Why does every Tok'ra disappear after a couple of visits except that one?"

"I think Beth harassed the others away so that new representatives would take their place," Daniel said.

I frown. "All of them?"

"I don't know. Sam asked Aldwin to investigate."

"And none of them said anything? What? They never heard of sexual harassment?"

"Not every culture has the same level of what would be considered harassment. If she made it seem like it was normal, they would believe it was normal."

"Great. She made them think we are all creeps."

"Essentially," Daniel replies with a nod.

I sigh.

~+~+~.

"You mean to tell me that every Tok'ra that has been on your base has been compromised?"

"Yes."

"With photographs of our hosts?"

"Yes."

"Which may have been sold to Zar?"

"Yes."

"You do realize that we expect you to hand over the traitor."

"You broke our treaty, so that arrangement no longer-"

"This happened during the treaty, and we will find it convenient that you didn't discover this invasion of our trust until after the treaty was broken. Furthermore, if you have any hope of reinstating the treaty, we will have this person."

"We are still investigating."

"Of course, you are."

"One more thing…"

Delek sighs softly. "Yes?"

"Aldwin was asked to question the Tok'ra about who might have been harassed. We are still investigating that as well."

"Yes. Parker. Aldwin did report on his findings. She offered flirtations and sexual encounters to sixty-three different Tok'ra."

I flinch, embarrassed. "How did she even meet that many Tok'ra?"

"Most flirtations were on your Alpha Site."

I sigh.

"Twenty-one of them took her up on her offer."

"Oh." I frown. "Really?"

"If that is an issue, I will inform my people-"

"No. No. That's fine. I'm just surprised…" That they had sex. Casual sex. There is no way to finish that sentence without being insulting. Of course, they have sex. "…that anyone developed a relationship with her."

"It was just sexual intercourse."

Why do I suspect that Delek is one of the twenty-one?

"She lost interest after the engagement."

"Oh. Uh. Sorry."

"I understood that to be the purpose of what you call a…one night stand."

"True."

"The remaining forty-two, including Malek, refused. Thirty-four of the forty-two felt harassed enough to ask to avoid future interactions with the Tau'ri."

"Including Aldwin?" I'm embarrassed that so many Tok'ra asked to avoid us.

"Yes. That number does not include Malek, as Colonel Carter was able to help him."

"Why didn't they say anything?"

"Multiple Tok'ra reported it to her immediate supervisor. It was implied that her behavior was acceptable on this world."

"Her…supervisor." Paul Thorn.

~*Amb*~

~Year 1, Month 1, Day 17~

Sam leans against Lantash. "Is joining you four really possible?"

Pete understandably doesn't like the question, though I wonder why he seems surprised by it. Has he not been paying attention?

"Why not?" Lantash looks to her. "Samantha…do you still love us?"

"I am not going to interfere with-"

"Just answer. That's all I'm asking."

"…Yes."

"Do you also still love Amb and Malek?"

"Yes."

That makes me smile.

He smiles. "The four of us also still love you."

"We do," I assure.

She hesitates… "How does this work…exactly?"

"We'll have to figure that out together," I say before approaching. "Do you want to be kissed?"

Pete tenses in anger.

"Right now, I need to take charge." She brushes my hair back, then gently touches the back of my neck. "I'm not ready yet for…too much intimacy."

"I understand."

She kisses me gently, then pulls away, not ready.

I lean into Martouf, half laying on him. "Pillow."

Martouf grins. "Samantha…have you had any more dreams about Jolinar?"

"I think…when she blended with Rosha." She frowns a bit. "I remember…burrowing."

I mentally pull back, and my beloved laughs.

"It wasn't a good memory."

"Of that, I have no doubt. Having just lost a host, having to burrow into a stranger… Hoping it's the right choice, that we'll get along."

Sam frowns. "I never considered that…from your view. I felt Jolinar's anxiety, but I didn't fully understand it."

"Imagine, someone you love is dying. You are ready to die with them, make them live for as long as possible. Then…a new host is found. They bring in a stranger. Unconscious. You can't talk to this stranger. You know nothing about them, and what's more, they need you to survive…now. And that means that the person you have loved and protected for the last hundred years has to die." I feel Malek shudder slightly as he speaks, reliving the pain. "Your loved one tells you to leave him, to live, to cherish his memories, but the truth is, you want to die with him." Malek glances down. "It's painful."

Martouf looks down. I suspect he's feeling Lantash's guilt for not remembering his previous hosts.

"It is never a good memory. Still…the idea that you have memories of being as we are…"

She touches her arm slightly, then smiles. "I had fins."

Though he is still in control, I feel Malek wiggle his pectoral fins.

"They are quite proud of their fins," Martouf says. "At least…Lantash is."

"Oh, we are proud," Malek replies. "Though I…don't have exactly the same fins that I was born with."

"Zar?" Martouf gently runs his fingers through my hair.

He nods. "When I have been killed for more than a few days, the fins are always regenerated."

"How often has he killed you?" She ask.

"I could not begin to guess.

"The longest?"

He flinches.

"Over three weeks," Martouf replies softly. "Amb was sent back down here without him. We all thought Malek was…gone."

The pain of those weeks wash over me, and Malek sends a warm shiver through my skin. It would work better if I was in control, but given the topic, I'd prefer not to be.

"I think Zar is up to something," Malek adds, "or fighting someone. He was pushing his limits in killing me. Now he ignores me."

"For what reason?" Martouf asks.

"I don't know. I fear he has another Tok'ra captive."

Martouf hugs me close.

~Year 1, Month 2, Day 2~

Pete has been in a grumpier mood today.

Annoyed, Lantash orders him to fetch more water.

"I'm your servant now?"

"Yes. Now, go fetch."

Pete huffs as he leaves.

"Why are you in a bad mood," Sam asks.

"It's Martouf," I answer.

"Unfortunately… He's very angry and confused right now." He shakes his head. "I have to go. We need to be alone right now." He leaves.

"Is there anything we can do?" Sam asks.

"He's going to the calming room. Sometimes, he needs company. Sometimes, he needs to be alone."

She nods.

"Why is Pete in a bad mood?"

"Last night, he asked me to give him another chance."

"That is quite…hopeful."

She steps closer, touching my hair.

"Do you like the haircut?"

"It's choppy," she teases, knowing that Malek had to use a makeshift knife.

I give Malek control as he grins. "I'd like to see you do better with a-"

She kisses us.

Malek pulls her close, kissing her. I feel a tremble in my skin as she grabs over Malek.

Footsteps walk into the room, and I hear water splash. I look over, seeing Pete stare. The buckets he carried were dropped, and one fell sideways. Water is spilled across halfway through the room.

"Pete, I told you last night-"

"Today? Today of all days?" He asks angrily.

"Today?"

"Today was the wedding."

She frowns. "Oh."

Do not laugh, I think, as Malek does his best to stifle a chuckle, but my order makes it funnier to him. He covers his mouth to not laugh.

Pete leaves.

Samantha goes after him. "Pete, I'm sorry."

Can I laugh now? Malek asks, but he doesn't.

Then we hear and feel the activation of the rings. Malek goes out to investigate, then hears heavy footsteps. Thankfully, Samantha and Pete return quickly.

"What does one Jaffa mean?" Samantha asks.

"That means that whomever he chooses will be raped as entertainment for the rest of the prisoners, and believe me, they will be entertained," he warns.

"Come here, Has'tar!" The Jaffa calls. "I know you still live."

Pete winces as fear crosses his eyes.

"'Weak human?'" Malek translates with a question. "Did he call you that?"

"Yes." He looks to Sam. "I don't want you to watch."

"She may not be given a choice," I reply.

The Jaffa comes into our room.

"Has'tar…" He grins. "Why did you not come?"

"I didn't know you meant me," he lies nervously.

Sam cringes as he approaches Pete.

"Do not worry. I will be gentle…" He reaches for his pants. "…if you prove worthy."

~+~+~.

"It's my fault." Sam says.

After Pete was humiliated in front of the three of us, he was taken out to the main room. I can hear the other prisoners cheering.

"How could it be your fault?" I ask.

"Zar came after me. He just happened to be there." She wipes away tears.

"Regardless of how we came to be here, we are all here. We must survive together."

Lantash returns, clearly worried, but he's relieved to see us.

"He took Pete," I say.

Lantash leaves.

A few hours later, the cheering dies down. I leave immediately to get Pete. Lantash is already there, examining him for injuries. Pete is staring at the ground, trying to cover himself with his hands. He reeks of human waste. Thankfully, the Jaffa actually meant what he said, and he wasn't overly rough with him.

"You might want a bath," I suggest.

He makes the smallest nod.

"Samantha thought you might not want her to see you after this."

He nods. "No…I… I don't want her help."

"Can you walk?"

"I don't know."

We help him up, and he leans on me as we reach the water source. I help him into the water, then give him rags to clean himself.

"Unfortunately, one of us must remain. Otherwise, you are vulnerable to attack."

He nods, and Lantash leaves.

I turn away to give him some privacy, standing guard.

He's quiet, taking a long time. Malek and I talk to each other as we wait. People come in to gather water, but leave when they see him. They are not pleased, but they don't dare say anything.

Pete finally gets out, and I hear him put on the prison gown that I brought for him. I turn back when he is still.

"Do you wish to go back now?"

"Why would Lantash watch?" He asks angrily.

"The victim of such shows are usually a free-for-all after. Lantash being there stopped that."

"He watched….everything." He angrily wipes away tears, humiliated by them.

"For your sake," I reply angrily.

Pete limps over. "He had no-"

"Quiet!"

Amb? Malek is alarmed. Beloved? What's wrong?

Nothing. I frown, wondering why Pete is crying on the floor.

You pushed him.

I really don't remember pushing him.

I know we don't like him, but he's hurting and scared. He's humiliated.

I frown. I hadn't realized I was yelling. Why was I yelling? I look to Pete, and he's cowering. He's afraid of…me.

This isn't like you.

I retreat without warning, and Pete jumps when he sees my eyes glow.

"Martouf is not having an easy time right now," Malek explains. "Believe me, Lantash did not want to be watching. However, if others harmed you, we need to know about it."

Pete shakes his head, and his expression hardens. He takes Malek's help up. He hurries as much as he can to the room, then lays down and glares at the floor.

"Where are they?"

"Most likely the calming room."

"Sam would have wanted to be here when I arrived." I can see that he's hurt that she isn't.

"It would not have been safe for her to be alone. People often take advantage of when a Jaffa is here." Malek sits down.

Malek… I didn't mean to scare him.

I know. We were exposed to the sarcophagus a great deal lately, and now…not so much. A sudden withdrawal is sure to cause…crankiness.

So he says…except we both know that dreaded thing has a greater effect on a symbiote.

~+~+~.

Sam and Lantash return about an hour later. She immediately kneels by Pete.

"Is there anything I can do?" She asks.

"Just pretend I'm not here. For now."

"Alright."

"I'm glad you are here though."

She nods.

"Where were you?"

"It wasn't safe for her to be alone here," Lantash answers. "And I needed to be in the calming room." He looks to me. "Some of the new prisoners have not learned to fear us yet. They took the Jaffa's offer to enjoy Pete."

"They don't need to know that!" He snaps.

"Did you see them all?"

"Yes."

I nod, and we both leave.

~+~+~.

Finding the rapists is easy. The other prisoners happily give them away, largely so that they are not blamed. However, a few enjoy watching what happens.

"You attacked a man under our protection," Lantash says to the first.

The man, a new prisoner, jumps to the sound of his voice. He bows immediately.

"Unfortunately, that will not save you," he adds as I step behind him.

"Please. I'll do anything. I didn't know-"

I kill him quickly. Despite his actions, I hate having to do so.

He deserves it, Malek thinks. The Jaffa could have chosen you.

"No one harms those under our protection," I announce. I see that some of the prisoners are surprised that it's me and not Malek.

We look for the next prisoner.

~+~+~.

We clean blood off ourselves before heading into the room.

"They are dead," Lantash tells them.

"You're serious?" Pete asks.

"It would be dangerous to allow even one to live."

"You found them all?" Sam asks.

"The last two were delivered to us."

Sam approaches him. "How is Martouf?"

"Retreated," he replies. "He'll come out when he's ready, but this does hurt him." He sighs. "Unfortunately, all three of us must be seen making the kills, to be feared. Otherwise…"

Pete shudders.

I suspect he finally appreciates that we are feared.

"Martouf is already feared…on his own," Lantash adds. "So he does not have to participate."

She rubs over the back of his neck. "You should know, I kissed Malek."

He grins. "He told me." He moves his hand over hers, over himself. "Normally, I'd respond now by kissing you, if you wished it, but not while Martouf is in this state."

She nods, then sits by Pete.

I understand why, but I suspect she is unintentionally giving him false hope.

~+~+~.

The next day…

I have to ask.

"Martouf…"

He looks to me.

"How did… When did you realize you…get confused?"

"I killed someone who attacked me…only to realize he was not who I thought he was. Lantash then told me that he never attacked us."

I nod.

"What's wrong?"

"I don't know."

"Tell me." He takes my hand.

I sigh. "I pushed Pete. Hard enough to knock him down." I look to Martouf. "I don't remember doing it."

Martouf hugs me.

"I'm scared."

"I understand, but we need to warn Samantha and Pete."

I nod.

~Year 1, Month 2, Day 5~

~*Malek*~

I am surprised to see Samantha brought up.

"Are you alright?" I ask.

She nods, knowing I mean the three Jaffa. It is, unfortunately, quite obvious that they abused Amb and me.

"I have been with Zar. He did… I'm not sure. Injections." She rubs the back of her neck. "He also took blood."

Zar walked in, his cloak waving slightly behind him.

"Samantha Carter. It would appear you are more important than I first realized."

Sam makes no reply.

"I thought Ba'al was through attacking me, at least to steal my prisoners, but…alas…" He put on a recording device.

He's going to fake her death, I realize, then my eyes flare when I see that Zar is wearing the zatarc ring. No, he's going to kill her!

"Thankfully for you, I am short on time."

Sam barely has time to register the ring before she is shot.

I rush to her, falling when I feel a burn in my leg.

Zar laughs, shooting her again before turning off the recording.

"You are supposed to be dead, not in a new recording." He plays it back, making sure I am not seen in it.

As he does, I go to Sam, not letting myself cry in front of the Goa'uld. I kiss her temple softly.

We just got her back, Amb thinks in sorrow.

At least she won't suffer anymore, I reply, then instinctively flinch when I feel something powerful radiate near me.

The sarcophagus? Amb thinks, confused.

I realize that Jaffa brought something in, something much worse. The Ancient healing device. That's how he's been bringing Amb and I back to life.

"I used this on you many times," Zar admits, confirming my thoughts. He slowly opens it.

I grimace. The power of it. The sarcophagus, though I loathe to admit it, feels good. It's soothing and strong. This is overwhelming. It hurts inside.

Samantha's injury heals before my eyes.

He used it on us before, but I have never been so close. Amb's heart is pounding. His blood is racing. I feel like I'm going to explode!

Samantha opens her eyes. "Malek?" She winces.

"The Ancient…" I grimace. It's too much!

She yells out, touching her head, grimacing. Her eyes widen in shock…

"Saman…" I gasp and breathe hard as Zar closes the device.

Her eyes glow.

What?!

There is complete panic in Sam's eyes. She doesn't even register me.

Which…she? Amb thinks.

I honestly have no idea.

"Rosha?!"

That is definitely a symbiote voice.