Winter's Refuge

Chapter Twenty-Six

HEYES

Dr. Arden found out I had a sore on my ankle. I didn't tell him. I was afraid to complain. Every man in here has some kind of an injury. Most are ignored. I don't want to make trouble that might keep me in this prison even an hour longer. If the guard had followed the normal routine and hadn't come until the end of the day, the blood would all have been dry, and he wouldn't have guessed I was hurt. When we get to my cell, the lamps are lit. Dr. Arden must have talked to someone like he said. I sit down on my bed and look through my books. Need to find a fourteen somewhere. I hope the Kid likes this game. It is a good diversion for me. I've been sending four books home the last two visits, but the Kid will still need to bring a wagon to take the rest with me when I leave. The wagon is a good idea. I will tell Dr. Arden about it in our next meeting. Words still escape me, but the chalkboard helps. I have come to trust the doctor. He's helped the Kid and Lom and me. Maybe if we'd met somewhere other than prison, we might have been friends despite his eastern ways.

I put my legs out in front of me and took off my other shoe and sock. The wound still hurts where the Kid held it tight. He's stronger than he thinks. The medicine burned but the guard was right it was getting infected. I have the day to think and read. But it's hard to do either, instead I worry. I need to get rid of the pencil in my cell. They are not allowed. I do not want to lose my deal over a pencil.

JED 'KID' CURRY

I left Dr. Arden sleepin' on the train with Lom while I rented a wagon. Winter's Glory was not happy about pullin' it and lettin' me know by consistently turnin' around to look at me. I was glad I'd talked to the conductor, because the train was going to leave in only five minutes when I returned. The conductor woke up the doctor, but his hangover made it hard for him to keep his eyes open. Even the light on the train bothered him.

"I'll carry this one," I told the conductor as I slipped him a healthy tip and picked up Lom. "Can you grab our bags and lead him out?" I pointed to the doctor.

Happy with my generosity, he helped the moanin' doctor to his unsteady feet. I went first and had Lom settled in the back of the wagon when they were still comin' down the train steps. Our bags were sittin' on the ground. I went back and slid my arm under the doctor's shoulders. "I've got him. Thank you."

The conductor hopped back on the train and waved just as it started to move away from the platform.

I turned my attention to the doctor. "My friend, you're in no shape to ride the train back tonight."

Supportin' him with one arm, I led the horse and wagon with the sleepin' Lom in the other.

He was still drunk. How someone who didn't drink could swallow a water glass full of whiskey, I didn't know. Seems there were some things me and Heyes could teach the doctor.

I stopped in front of the hotel and glanced at Lom still lost in his dreams, I walked the doctor up to the front desk.

"A room for my friend," I told the clerk.

"Am I your friend? Truly?" The doctor almost slipped out of my grip as he turned to look at me.

"Gettin' there, Doctor. You got any money?"

"You like me for my money?" he answered sadly.

"No, the money is to pay your hotel bill for tonight. Best you stay here and take the first train out tomorrow. I'm worried about you."

"Oh, that's different. Take what you need." He handed me a very expensive leather wallet with a lot of money in it.

I took out enough for the room and gave the desk clerk a tip. "Please see him to his room. Bring him dinner at six and make sure he's up tomorrow in time for the mornin' train to Cheyenne. Should be enough there to cover it all. The rest is for you."

"Yes, sir." He looked at the size of the tip and said, "Yes, sir," again with emphasis.

"And I know exactly how much money he has, and he better have the same amount when he gets to Cheyenne." I took an aggressive stance and added an outlaw tone to the threat to my voice. "Understand?

"Yes, sir!"

I watched as Dr. Arden was helped to his room. I would have liked to do it myself, but I needed to take care of Lom and get him to the ranch.

ASJ*****ASJ

Lom slept all the way home, so I had time to think. It was bad when I had time to think. I started to doubt I could handle all that was happenin' and still protect Chrissy and soon Heyes. But I am strong, and they are my family. I will take care of them and protect them. There is no other option. My thoughts turned to the sweet picture I had found of my children. They were so real now that I had seen them.

I turned up Old Cummings Road and felt home callin'. We really did need to name this place to make it our own.

Rudy was waitin' to open the gate. "Lom?" he asked, lookin' in the back of the wagon.

"He's recoverin'. Appendectomy. It was an emergency."

Rudy led the horse toward the house. "Is he going to be okay?"

"Yeah, Dr. Arden saved his life. He just needs rest now. By the way, one of the only things your ma said to me was to tell you to go home before you go back to college. You didn't tell her you weren't goin' back to school?"

"No. You didn't, did you, sir?"

"Never, sir. Juan calls me Jed." Correcting him had become my routine. "Don't care of you call me Mr. Curry or Jed, just not sir. Didn't say a word to your ma. Just tell her soon, okay?"

He pulled the wagon even with the porch and tethered the horses. I lifted Lom over the side and started into the house. Rudy opened the doors for me.

Chrissy was sittin' at the kitchen table readin'. "Who?"

"Lom had an operation and is goin' to recover here." I hurried into Heyes room feelin' Chrissy followin' me.

"You need me here, Mr. Curry?"

"No, you can take care of the horse and please bring our things in," I told Rudy.

Chrissy was fussin' over Lom. "Lom water?" she asked, lookin' at me.

Lom' s eyes flickered over, looked at me and closed.

"I think water's a good idea," I told Chrissy and she hurried from the room.

"Kid? Are we at the ranch already?" Lom was trying to sit up. "OWW! Not going to try that again."

"Doctor gave you enough medicine to keep you asleep the whole trip. Chrissy went to get you some water."

Rudy brought Lom's travel bag in. "Put your bag and the books on your bed…and your boots." He looked at the gray prison shoes I was wearin'.

I grinned. "Burns hurt too much to wear the boots. Chrissy, would you help Lom drink the water?"

I waved Rudy out of the room. "Rudy, I like to ask you a favor. I left Dr. Arden at the hotel in Bridgeport, recoverin' from a drunk." I reached in my pocket and gave him some money. "Would you return the wagon over there? Probably best not to take Winter's Glory; he's not in good spirits after havin' to pull a wagon. Get yourself a room, spend the night and check on the doctor. This should cover it. I don't think he's ever had a hangover before."

I saw Rudy smile.

"And see that he gets on the train back to Cheyenne tomorrow mornin'."

"Sure, Mr. Curry. Glad to do it. No offense, but I've been wantin' to visit Bridgeport. Not cut out for horse ranching like Juan."

That settled, I went back to check on Lom. Chrissy was sittin' by his bed and readin' Black Beauty. That was the book she read when her routine was disrupted.

"Lom hungry," she told me firmly, then resumed her readin'. I could smell the fried chicken Rudy had made and went to fix Lom a plate. Then, realizin' I was starvin', fixed myself a plate of chicken, canned tomatoes, and cornbread from William Knight's recipes, too.

When I came into the room, Chrissy looked angry. "Jed eat at table. Lom eat in bed."

"But I want to talk to him." To my ears I sounded like the pleadin' seven-year-old boy always wantin' to go to my cousin Han's house to eat with him.

Must have sounded that way to Chrissy, too, because she pointed at the door. "Go, eat food at table. Go, go, go."

I smiled at her insistence. She was comin' back to me. "Yes, Chrissy," I answered.

"Chrissy darlin'."

"Yes, Chrissy darlin'. But when I'm finished, I have four books from Heyes and TWO presents for you."

"Good, you remembered. Next time two!"

As I was walkin' down the hall, I heard Lom ask, "Chrissy darlin', would you hand me the water?"

"Not you Chrissy darling. You Chrissy."

ASJ*****ASJ

After I finished eatin', Chrissy stood outside my door and waited until I noticed her. "Come on in. The books are on the dresser. I already shook them. No letter."

She didn't look disappointed. I knew she liked to search for each one. "Number?"

"Twenty-eight."

She froze and I knew she was processin' the meanin' of the number. "Soon?"

"Yes, darlin', Heyes will be home soon."

She stopped again, hand on the books, starin' at the top drawer but not seein' it. Then, she firmly said, "This Heyes home."

"Yes, his home is here with us."

I took the seeds out of my bag. "Present number one. Carrot, petunia, and daisy seeds."

She took the small packages but looked sad. I thought she was close to cryin'. Rememberin' what the doctor had said, I gave her time to get her thoughts. If she cried, I would be here. But she didn't cry. She left the room, stoppin' in the doorway and motionin' me to follow. She led me to the potato garden. The ground was flooded in places, dry in others. All her planted stems had blown away. "No flowers. No potatoes," she said, shakin' her head. She looked up at me with fear in her eyes, then lowered them quickly and took a step away from me. "Jed mad."

I stepped closer to her but didn't touch her. "No, Chrissy darlin'." I made sure to add the affection I feel for her to every word. "I'm not mad. Are you afraid of me?"

She froze standin' there starin' at the ground. It was a long time before she moved. She raised her eyes and for the first time really looked into mine. Her beautiful expressive mountain green eyes held my gaze for a moment before she turned away. "Not afraid…not afraid of Jed."

"I'll never hurt you, ever. I promise."

"Good. Jed make good promises."

"I love you Chrissy darlin'. Always will." The words were out before I thought about them. I looked at her quickly to see if I had scared her, to see if she retreated into her safe world.

But she didn't. She was still engaged in the conversation. "Good," she said.

I stepped forward and looked closer at the ground. There were a few potato plants just barely breakin' the soil in the last row. "Look, Chrissy," I said, excited. "Potatoes!"

I was leanin' over. I didn't move as I felt her hand on my back as she leaned on me to bend over further to see the tiny plant.

"Water?" she asked.

"No, no more water for a few days. We need to add a few inches of dirt around each of those sprouts. Only the top leaves should stick out. If they are in the sunlight, they get bitter." My gramma felt very close to me right now. She usually had a kind word to say, but if she thought it was necessary, she could kick my butt. Right now, I could almost remember her smile.

"No kill potatoes?" Chrissy watched me "hill" the potatoes. Now I remembered what it was called, hillin'.

"The potatoes are growin'."

"Kill flowers?"

"Those were weeds, darlin', and not planted deep enough."

"NOW, plant carrots and flowers over there. You help?"

ASJ*****ASJ

Took Chrissy almost a day, but she solved Heyes' puzzle and found the twenty-eight. He had circled FEBRUARY in each book. February has 28 days. Just like Heyes had 28 days left.

I didn't open the blacksmith shop the next day. Without Rudy, I couldn't do that and take care of Lom, Chrissy and the horses, too. I carried Lom to the front porch and settled him in one of the rockers before I went to the stables. I saw Chrissy milkin' the cow. She was talkin' softly to her. Part of her routine now included milkin' the cow and gatherin' eggs. We tried hard not to disrupt her routines or else she got confused and retreated into herself.

I kept an eye on her while she finished. Chrissy never learned to cook. Marina Ortiz cooked for her and her family all her life. I planned to get in the kitchen just before she finished with the eggs. I can cook eggs and Knight taught me how to make my eggs ever better. Now I sent her to take water to Lom while I made breakfast.

LOM

I was glad the Kid carried me to the porch. I need to get outside, even if it was in a rocking chair with a blanket over my legs. I'm trying to do what I can by myself, but that is limited right now. Rudy's in Bridgeport taking care of Dr. Arden and his hangover. Another person the Kid is taking care of now.

Chrissy stayed on the porch looking down the road.

"You think Chrissy should talk Jed soon?" she asked me, eyes fixed down the road.

It took me a minute to realize what she was talking about. "Yes. He asks. I told him I promised to let you tell him."

"Jed good with promises," she answered. It sounded to me like she was talking to herself, so I didn't answer.

"No talk, yet. Jed busy, Lom and Heyes. Soon though." She turned to go in. "Jed promise no mad."

I wasn't sure what she meant. The Kid brought me out a plate of eggs and bacon. I didn't have an appetite for so long, now all food tasted good again, especially if I didn't have to make it. I was trying to think of ways to get the Kid to talk to me to make sure he was adjusting to life outside of prison himself and not just thinking about Chrissy and Heyes, and now me. He'd asked me what else he needed to do around the ranch to prepare for Heyes. I can't think of anything but give Heyes purpose and the Kid has already done that.

I'm impatient with my recovery. I have work to do in Porterville, but I know I'm not going to get back there before we go to Cheyenne again. When he comes back, I'll ask Rudy to send more telegrams for me. I like his work ethic. As knowledgeable as he is about horses, I can tell his heart isn't in it like Juan. I wonder if he would like to be a deputy. The Kid told me Juan wants to come back here when he's able. I'll talk to the Kid about Rudy soon.

ASJ*****ASJ

My recovery has seemed slow but here I am after almost two weeks, helping with the chores and the horses. I've even taken a turn at making my ma's beef stew. Everything seems well back in Porterville; Sheriff Ferguson commented it is a nice quiet town. I agree it is, almost all of the time.

JED 'KID' CURRY

The doctor telegrammed for me and Lom to come early so he could check on Lom's recovery. Lom don't say a lot unless I get him tellin' stories. Then, he'll talk all night. I learned he rode with a gang before the Devil's Hole Gang. Also learned last night that he's got an amnesty. When he went to the governor for me and Heyes, he asked for one for himself, too. Said he couldn't explain how he knew us so well without tellin'. The governor thought for a moment and gave him the amnesty right then and there. He figured with all the years Lom had spent as a good sheriff, he'd earned it. That makes three of us ex-outlaws that can tell the US Marshals where Devil's Hole is without gettin' arrested for past crimes, me, Luke, and Lom. Chrissy knows, but will never tell when her brothers' lives are at stake. Some fool in Colorado has a wanted dead or alive out on Chrissy. The marshals are still checkin' on the 'an eye for an eye, a sibling for a sibling' wordin' on the poster. Luke's out in California, servin' as priest to a county of farmers now. He's safe. Kyle served his time but only for that one robbery. They can send him back to prison for all the other jobs we pulled. I think every outlaw I know must be hidin' at the Hole now. The marshals got the public primed like a pack of coyotes huntin' for outlaws to tell them how to get to Devils Hole. A lot of those hidin' there are friends from our old gang. I can't let them get shot down up there. Lom gets updates on them now and then. And then there's Chrissy and soon to be Heyes. Got to be vigilant. Got to protect them. Got to make this ranch's security so strong no one can get in to hurt my family. I wish Heyes were more himself. He could figure out a way to end this all.

ASJ*****ASJ

Dr. Arden wasn't at his desk when we got there. He was lookin' out my window. Turnin' when the door opened, he motioned us in. "Welcome gentlemen,' he said, studyin' Lom with a doctor's evaluatin' vision. He turned to me," Don't know why you look out that window, Mr. Curry. All you can see is the prison yard down there. It's as depressing as the rest of this place."

"I don't look down, I look up," I answered.

He nodded and gave me a small grin. "Always finding the hope." He grew serious then. "I asked you here early to discuss the conditions of convict Heyes' parole before we meet with him. You are to be his parole officers. The warden will be joining us."

As he finished, without a knock, the back door of the office opened, and the warden strode in carryin' official lookin' papers. Dr. Arden relinquished (another new word) his seat behind the desk and came to sit between me and Lom. Without a greetin', the warden started readin' his list of conditions.

"These have been approved by the governors of Wyoming and Nebraska." He took a breath, held the paper out at arms' length and started to read. "The paroled convict must have a confirmed place to reside and lawful employment."

The doctor spoke first. "I have inspected the room prepared for him at the Old Cummings Ranch and it is suitable." He looked at me.

"Heyes' got two jobs waitin' for him there, bookkeeper and workin' the ranch." It was hard to keep the pride out of my voice, but I lowered my eyes and spoke respectfully. This was my partner's new life on the line.

The warden frowned. "Don't know if cowboyin' and ridin' all over the range chasin' cows is appropriate." His words were gruff.

This was gonna be harder than I thought. I worked at summonin' patience and put a blank look on my face. "Ain't that kind of a ranch, Warden, we breed horses. Have two of the finest stud horses in five states. Man even brought his mares from New Jersey to breed with them."

The warden was squintin' at the paper. "Well, no matter, that part has already been approved by the governors. Looking at the list of other residents at the ranch, besides yourself, I see Rudy Ortiz, Juan Ortiz, and Christina McWinters. Wasn't she convicted and sent to prison? Heyes can't live with or see any ex-cons." He gave me a harsh stare. "Unless, of course, they have a pardon and an amnesty like you, Jed."

I didn't miss he called me by my first name, but I let it pass. I could tell he didn't think much of me and was lettin' me know. But I managed a cordial reply. "Christina McWinters has also received a pardon and an amnesty. I have her paperwork here, if you would like to inspect it." I was glad Lom had encouraged me to bring me and Chrissy's papers.

Takin' the papers, he didn't really read them, just glanced and handed them back. His face was easy to read, he was disappointed I had the papers. He thought he had a reason to delay the parole. "McWinters, she related to Winter's Refuge?"

Thankfully, Lom took over answerin'. "Yes, she is."

"And the stud horses you got, Jed, are from there?"

The warden was askin' questions that had nothing to do with Heyes' parole. It was irritatin' me, but I sat tall and still and listened.

He continued, "Fine animals. Why Nebraska? Never mind, I see that was also approved by both governors." He was annoyed at the governors' interference. "Parole Heyes will not be allowed to leave the county without written permission from the parole board. NOT you. You are his parole officers. One of you must travel to Cheyenne to get that permission. The parole board meets Tuesdays, Wednesdays and Fridays, and I am the chairman."

"Yes, sir, I'll note that," Lom answered. "Can't see any reason he would be leaving the county unless he's called to Cheyenne by the governor." The warden bristled at the mention of the governor.

"Heyes is not allowed access to a gun." The warden looked at us meaningfully as he said that with a triumphant tone in his voice. "Wait a minute." He shuffled through the papers in his stack and pulled his chair closer to the desk. He removed readin' glasses from his pocket. Reluctantly, he put them on. "Damn asterisk," he mumbled.

Me and Lom sat quietly. I was willin' to fight to wear a gun to keep Chrissy safe and Lom knew it. The recollection of Dr. Lewis pointin' his gun at her head was fresh in my mind.

"Looks like both governors have agreed again to amend that condition." He sighed in frustration. I don't think he was used to any interference in his position. "Heyes is not allowed to carry or touch a gun while on parole. BUT guns are allowed in the residence and on the property and others residing there are permitted to wear them. The notes refer to a threat, but the explanation is vague." He looked at us, but neither one of us offered an explanation. It was obvious he didn't like not knowin' more about the threat, but we weren't goin' to tell him unless he asked us specifically. We knew he wouldn't do that and admit his curiosity.

"Parolee Heyes will return to Cheyenne on the second Thursday of each month with one or both of you to meet with the parole board and review his progress. These visits are preapproved, and you will be given a list of the times and dates when he is released. He is permitted to spend either, but not both, the night before or after the meeting in Cheyenne."

He looked up at us and took off his glasses before finishin', "Do you understand and agree to these conditions?"

I nodded. Lom said, "We do."

"Good. Dr. Arden, I will leave it to you to review these with convict Heyes during your visit today. Good day, Jed, Sheriff Trevors." He left as abruptly as he had arrived, leavin' the papers on the desk. Dr. Arden looked at his watch as he stood and went around the desk. Before he sat down, he opened the back door. The warden was gone.

Within a minute, we heard footsteps then the shackles fall to the floor. The thought of Heyes in the heavy shackles hurts my heart, as they say. I feel them on my ankles when I see them on him. I stand up and a guard enters, then Heyes. I observe the protocol and wait until the guard leaves, and I hear the door lock to grab Heyes in a bear hug. He hugs me tight. Then shakes Lom's hand and walks to the desk.

He motions as if writin' to Dr. Arden. "I had hoped you could use some words today," the doctor told him. He shook his head and looked down. I do not like this submissive behavior Heyes shows to the doctor. He was never submissive unless it was part of a plan. But this place has broken the man I know. I need to help him heal.

HEYES

My words are inaccessible. I can think words like inaccessible, but I can't say yes or no. Sadness strikes me at that thought, but the doctor is looking at me expecting an answer. I shake my head no. He looks disappointed but understands. He takes the chalkboard and chalk out of his desk and hands them to me.

"Mr. Trevors, if you would come down to my private office, I would like to check on your incision and maybe take out the stitches." The doctor's tone makes that a statement, not a question. "You two may start your visit. We will review the terms of Heyes' parole when we return."

I looked at the Kid, but this statement did not surprise him. Maybe that's why he and Lom were already here before they brought me. When the doctor locked the door behind him, I held up my hand to the Kid. I took off my right shoe, really not much more than a slipper, and take out my pencil. I drop it into the cup on the doctor's desk. I wink at the Kid before I put my shoe back on. There's so much I want to tell him but can't without words.

"Heyes, you got words with me or you gonna use that chalkboard?"

The Kid's question made me think. I concentrated for a minute then all at once asked, "Partners?"

"Always, Heyes, I got your back. We're family. But I can't watch you in here so be careful."

I took the chalk and scribbled, "I will." I showed him the almost healed pinch mark he had left on my arm. "Kid alive," he wrote.

"Yes, I hope you believe that now."

"I do. Kid healed?" I printed.

"Gettin' there. Burns heal slower than I want. Gotta have patience. The little ones itch, but I'm not supposed to scratch them."

He understood the quizzical look on my face. "Little ones like these." He showed me his arm and some spots on his face and neck. I hadn't thought about flying embers in a fire before but that must be what caused them.'

"Be good. Don't scratch. Kid not so handsome with scars," I wrote to tease him. But at first, he didn't understand until he saw me grinning.

Then he grinned back. "That's the Heyes I know," he said happily.

But a wave of depression swept over me. I wasn't the Heyes he knew anymore. Don't think I could be that man again. I am weak in so many ways. I need the Kid.

"H you knew gone. Now H needs you."

He read it twice before he looked up at me. I needed him to understand that even when I get out of here, I need his strength, his guidance.

"Heyes, we've been through a lot together. Always needed each other. Sorry we had to do this part alone. I couldn't watch you back."

"I couldn't help you either," I wrote quickly.

"You get out of here, it's not goin' to be easy, but whatever you need from me, I'll be right beside you."

I felt myself about to tear up so instead I asked, "Conditions hard?" My writing has never been good and with chalk it is worse. The Kid studied it before he read it. From his face I knew he had already heard the conditions.

"Not really. To be expected. A place to live, a job. Don't leave the county without written permission. You can't see any outlaws or ex-cons. Can't carry a gun."

I heard something that worried me. "Can't see you?" I wrote slowly so it would be clear.

"Nah, I got a pardon and an amnesty. Doesn't apply to me," he answered. I think he might have been hiding something, but I can't read him like I used to be able to.

"Where?" I scribbled but he understood.

"The ranch in Nebraska."

I concentrated. I wanted to talk, not write. I could see the Kid was as frustrated with the chalkboard as I was, but he controlled it. I wanted to throw the thing across the room and watch it bounce off of the wall. I choose something simple to say out loud. "Na…name?"

A familiar smile showed on the Kid's face. "Good job, partner! The ranch's name? Doesn't have one yet except the Old Cummings Place. Maybe you could help name it when you get there."

I heard the doctor and Lom coming back so I erased my chalkboard. They both were smiling.

"Lom well?" I wrote on the board.

Dr. Arden nodded as he moved behind his desk. "He's doing so well, I removed the stitches. Painful process but he did well. He can return to work behind his desk after resting three more days. No leading posses after bad guys or chasing bank robbers." He turned to Lom. "And I need to see you here in two weeks."

"Wouldn't miss it for the world."

Dr. Arden read the conditions. Both the Kid and Lom had heard them and asked no questions. Every time I had a question, Lom would add that the governor had approved of this or that. The conditions didn't seem too bad.

"Accounting better?" I wrote and gave the board to the Kid.

He handed it back immediately. "Worse, Heyes, just can't keep up. I double booked our studs, too. Didn't check the calendar before I wrote and gave them a date. We already have three mares coming those weeks. I need you, Heyes. You're good at the details, not me."

I heard him say what I needed to hear. He needed me. I didn't want to live with him and not pull my own weight. I smiled.

"Surely you have some questions, Heyes?" Dr. Arden asked. "Now is the time to ask them."

I did have questions. The first was the most important to me. I wrote, "How rest of books home? Wagon?"

"Oh, don't worry about that. I'll have them all sent to your home," the doctor answered.

I was surprised but nodded my thanks. I wrote, "Need address? I don't know my address." I panicked for a moment with that uncertainty.

"Don't worry, Heyes. I know the address, been there myself. Remember."

I picked up the chalk. "See Kid with your own eyes."

"Yes, that's right."

"Not funeral,'' I added, and everyone smiled.

"Any other questions?" the doctor kept asking so I thought of another question.

"How big is the county?"

JED 'KID' CURRY

I gave Heyes another bear hug when the guards knocked to get him. I hated the sounds in the hall of the shackles bein' fastened around Heyes' wrist and legs…and I hated his meek submission. Lom had another question for the warden and asked the guards to escort him there. Dr. Arden left me alone with my thoughts for a few minutes and went to his private office.

"Jed!" Dr. Arden's voice broke into my thoughts.

'Yes, Doctor, sorry." I realized he had come back and had been talkin' to me and I wasn't listenin'.

"There are some things you need to think about in the next two weeks until he is released. First, I have obtained permission for him to stay with you in Cheyenne that night. You have to take care that he is not overstimulated."

"Overstimulated?"

"He is leading a quiet, predictable, routine life here. He is fragile. He is just barely coping, still can't speak. Keep his expectations simple and clear. No playing poker or even visiting the saloon the first night out, probably not for a while. It will be too overwhelming for him. He retreats into his own dark thoughts. He doesn't like to be around people. When he's nervous or challenged he experiences some paranoia. Give him time, don't push. Let him lean on you. He trusts you. He'll rely on you. Don't do anything to lose that trust."

I put my head back and took a deep breath as I looked at the ceiling. I was beginnin' to understand that the Heyes I remember was goin' to need a lot of help to recover. I'd give him all the help he needed. "I already added more lamps to his bedroom and the hall. We'll keep them lit at night for him. And I'll get his gun out of his room before he comes home."

"I didn't see a gun in that room," the doctor commented. I must have given him a blank look because he added, "Of course, I might have missed it.'

I started to think. I hadn't seen it in Heyes' room when I had gone in there last week, but I was sure I had seen it somewhere.

"And Jed, you have to tell him about Chrissy."

There was so much behind that simple sentence. How did I tell Heyes about what we left Chrissy to face? What she had gone through? Explain how she is tryin' to heal? And do it without the guilt of it all hittin' him right in the face like it did me? And I have to do all this without lettin' him retreat into himself again. "Yeah, I know. Any suggestions on how to handle it? It's something that has to be done all at once, I think."

Dr. Arden looked straight at me. "You have to be honest with him. And let him see your emotions that you keep so hidden." He handed me a book. "Read this book. It's written by a prison doctor. It may help. Or it may not."

I nodded to the doctor, thinkin' about what he had said. This was goin' to be hard, but I understood the need for it.

"And you have to be prepared that he may not be able to cope with what you're telling him. Even though it's the truth, he may deny it or ignore it. He may retreat into himself, or only remember part of what he's told."

"Thanks for talkin' about this with me. I've been thinkin' about it for a while now. Helps to hear it."

"The success of his parole depends on his ability to fit back into society. You know that, right?"

"Right." As I answered I felt the weight of the rest of Heyes' life added to my shoulders. I refused to bend, I sat taller. I couldn't tell what the doctor was thinkin' as he leaned towards me.

"If you need some help bearing this burden, call on your friends. You have good, strong friends, Sheriff Trevors, Sheriff Birde and me. Lean on us."