Disclaimer:
Mrs. J.K., You have it all, Looks, money, talent... Me? Just the delusion I can write Fan Fic stories. Meh, it keeps me from getting bored.
Previous:
The next day, the Daily Prophet headlined
New Management for your trusty newspaper!
Dear readers, yesterday Gringotts notified us that a group of Heirs that wants to remain anonymous managed to acquire a majority of shares of this newspaper. Currently, they possess 56% of the shares in their joint governance. To reassure our readers, they expressed that their policy will stay the same as before, namely to report the truth, as close as possible.
10 Basilisk Time!
More about shareholders on page 9.
More about Heirs and their duties on page 5
The stand the Ministry is taking on this change, and the comments of Minister Fudge on page 3
Hermione put two and two together and gasped: "Harry? Did you.."
I held my hand up to silence her: "Some things are destined to be talked about in private, Hermione, don't you think so?"
Slowly she nodded: "We will talk later."
To change the topic, I slapped my forehead: "Ron! I totally forgot to give you The Talk! You might be better off with Percy though, I doubt I know everything."
"What is The Talk anyway, Harry? Is it some kind of secret spell or something?" Asked Ron a bit worried.
"Or something, Ron, it is about Nature, the Circle of Life, it's like a wheel of fortune, we need to take a leap of faith, it creates a band of Hope until we find our place on the path to the Circle of our life." I sagely said.
Hah! The movie isn't out yet! You can't sue me for plagiarism! All the credits go to … ME!
Ron hesitated: "I am not sure I want to know about The Talk, Harry, it sounds really complicated to me."
I shook my head: "It is a rite of passage, Ron, I had to do it the hard way, by looking at R18-rated movies, I had nobody to explain all that stuff. Even girls have to go through it, but their Mothers do that part, it is harder on males."
That is true as a matter of fact, I was a stumbling mess until I was twenty, a loving mess until I was thirty, a cheating shit in my forties, and a divorced idiot in my fifties. Circle of Life? Probably, Dad did the same shit as I did.
"I'll ask Percy about it," Ron decided, "he sticks with the rules, and will answer truthfully, Merlin only knows what George and Fred would try to fool me with."
Oh? Ron is using his brain? Good for him! Meanwhile, Ginny, who sat next to me nudged me and softly asked: "Harry? Is that necklace you gave me warm-up every time my mind gets invaded?"
"It does," I confirmed, "Why? Does it warm up when you are doing something?"
She nodded: "Every time I try to write in my diary it heats up."
"Where did that diary come from, Ginny? I suspect it is cursed," I asked, I have to softly guide her to where I wanted it.
"I found them with my books in my cauldron when we went shopping that day," she answered.
"Ginny, I don't want to alarm you, but I thought I saw Malfoy's dad put something back into your Cauldron. It could be that he smuggled that diary with it. Can you give me that diary? I will mail it to my account manager and have it examined. It might be cursed with some bad spells."
Ginny's hand went into her pocket and took the diary out, hesitating to hand it over, I softly urged her: "It seems a bit of that curse is working, Ginny, you don't want to give it away, isn't it? Be strong Ginny Weasley, daughter of Arthur and Molly, sister of six brothers, and already very good at Magic. Break that compulsion, Ginny!"
Ginny frowned, "Here is that diary, Harry, I did not notice it before, but you were right, I did not want you to have it. Please, take it away from me."
I nodded and went outside the Great Hall, in an abandoned classroom, I enlarged my trunk and put the diary with the Tiara, the one I collected a few days ago, in a lead box in my apartment. Yes, I keep that trunk with me all the time, my old trunk is on my bed, but all my valuable stuff is in my pocket. My first hurdle is taken, save Ginny before she is bat-shit crazy, being possessed for the major part of a year leaves a mark, and I doubt a trip to Egypt is going to cure it, or... Bill dispelled her.
Xxxxx
I spend an hour a day in the RoR to study the spells I wanted, conjuring a mirror is one of them, compulsion charms to make a rooster crow, and especially how to move alert spells. I even succeeded in casting the Patronus, I used the New Year's snog from Nim and the kisses on my cheek from the other girls as the happy memory. At first, I used my memory of shagging my sister-in-law, that was a very happy memory, but somehow the memory of my ex catching us is included.
Snogging Nim definitively was a good Memory. Why did I learn the Patronus? To prove myself I am capable enough of course. Removing the blocks on my Magic, boosted its power a multitude of before, and it shows in my spells.
My classes were dull, I only paid attention to the theoretical classes, I already knew how to do the spells. In my potion class I stared at Snape, daring him to peek into my brain, brewing the potion is not that hard with better equipment, and my memory of Snape's face when he got kicked out of Ron's and Hermione's brains, it could fuel a Patronus.
Dada was a bust, like in Canon, the idiot was reenacting his glory days, I cracked up when Hermione was selected to act as the evil banshee. To make it lifelike, Hermione put a sonorous charm on her voice and started screaming like a fangirl at a concert of the Beatles, or One Direction. Lockheart fainted on the spot, his excuse? He forgot to put his anti-Banshee earmuffs on and congratulated Hermione on her skills in imitating Banshees, Hermione didn't get selected anymore after that.
The day finally came when he asked me to play the Werewolf of Albania. "Are you sure, Professor? Do I have to act as a ferocious Werewolf?"
"You don't have to fear a thing, Harry, we are doing this in a controlled environment," he reassured me.
I shrugged: "Ok… if you say so, get ready, one werewolf coming up."
The following five minutes are for the pensive, yes, this Werewolf practiced Martial Arts, and Gilderoy was the first to find out. I opened with a nut breaker, a knee to the dingalongs works every time unless you are a eunuch, my second stroke was to his throat, to silence him, a few punches to his liver and kidneys tendered him up. All the while I was growling and barking, then I started to scratch his face and bite his ear and pull his hair, I finished the job with a knee to his face to break his nose and some of his teeth.
I straightened myself up, looked at the horrified faces of my classmates, and said: "Here lies a new member of the Wolf Pack. If you believe that crap from his books, this could be you if you meet a werewolf for real. Class dismissed. If there is someone that gives a shit about this fake, they can call the nurse."
It got me a trip to the Headmaster, with an angry McGonagall in tow, Milky Way opened the staircase and we entered the office. Lockheart was patched up, his scratches healed, and new hair was growing in, his nose was still a bit crooked, and his teeth still needs some work. He acted hysterical, like a fan girl that received a kiss from Ringo Star or one of those Direction boys.
Saruman the Rainbow sat on his throne with a disappointed look on his face, surely, I must be turning to the Dark side.
"Harry, my boy, come in…" he stopped speaking when I raised my wand at him.
"It is Mr. Potter or Heir Potter to you, sir, find someone else to play with. Why am I summoned here?" I asked, I better set the pace of this discussion, I am sick of being a little kid and want this Layer done as fast as possible.
"Mr. Potter!" exclaimed McGonagall, "You know very well why you are here! You assaulted a Professor!" she almost shouted out.
"No, I did not do such a thing!" I defended myself, "I was demonstrating a Werewolf attack, and Professor Lockhart was demonstrating how to defend against such an attack. He even said to make it lifelike. I did all this on Professor Lockhart's orders. And in my defense, I made a lousy Werewolf, I bet a real one is scarier."
"Nevertheless, you used excessive violence, Mr. Potter," said Dumbledore, "We can not allow this to pass and disciplinary actions have to be made."
"I agree, Headmaster, so you asked the DMLE to arrest Snape? He used legilimence on Ron Weasley and Hermione Granger since I reported it. That is a total of at least 6 years Azkaban, good, then I am graduated by then." I said. Now that I put the Snape bargaining chip on the table, I doubt I get any punishment at all.
"You are right, sir, maybe it is better if I report this myself, after all, with your three full-time jobs, you can't worry about details." I poked the fire, he started to get worried, his pawn is revolting.
"We are here to discuss your assault on Professor Lockhart, Mr. Potter, and your use of excess ferocity. I am disappointed that you are walking such a dark path," said Dumbledore with a sad face,
"But sir!" I interrupted him, "I was supposed to act as a dark creature! I doubt that a werewolf attacks someone by licking their face. I even doubt I used more force than a real werewolf, sir, and in his best-selling book of the Waka-waka Werewolf he did not seem to have a problem dealing with it." I argued.
"I want him punished for ruining my face!" shouted Lockhart with tears in his eyes.
"You assaulted a teacher, Mr. Potter! That must be punished." was the stern voice of McGonagall, while the whimpering idiot was looking in a hand mirror to look at the damage.
"How many times must I tell you that it was a demonstration!" I shouted, "I got ten books that say that he is more than capable to defend himself!"
"Where is a reporter when you need one," I mumbled just loud enough, "This is getting ridiculous."
That comment sealed the case, I got off with a warning to keep the violence to a minimum, and twenty points from Gryffindor.
At dinner, the opinions were divided, on one side I am the Hero that exposed the fake, on the other side, mostly girls, I am the villain that ambushed an unsuspecting monster hunter. I did not care either way, although, the ponce need to learn to smile with his lips closed until his teeth are fixed.
Draco, who witnessed my werewolf attack stopped with his comments and insults and avoided me like the plague from then on. At least some good came from it.
Xxxxx
The Wizengamot session started! I prepared to get some roosters in advance, courtesy of Mippy the house elf. I moved the alerts on the faucet away and with a § Open! Stairs! § I descended into the tunnel, I closed the sink behind me. §Lights! § lit the place up, armed with four roosters, temporarily stored in my trunk, I made my way to the chamber.
Armed with a mirror shield, I learned that strategy from a movie, I don't remember the name of the guy, but the chick's name was Medusa. At the big gate, I entered my apartment, and put the compulsions on the roosters, it was easier when Nim was with me, but, I got it done.
§ Open § while the gate opened, I slipped in, §Lights! § lit the place up, after that, I took the roosters out, the bloody chickens started crowing like crazy, I rushed to the Statue §Speak to me, best one of the Hogwarts four!§
While the statue opened, I ran outside as if that Crannog bunny was after me. At the gate, I yelled §Close!§ An hour later I opened the gate, while blindfolded, it took some time for me to find the eyes of the snake to cover it, from the four roosters, one, with a hoarse voice, still had some crows in him. I dispelled the brave animals and put them away. The Basilisk didn't get far out of the statue, half of his body was hanging out the mouth.
"I, Harry James Potter, Claim the Carcass of this Basilisk that I single-handedly killed in defense of the school! So-Mote-It-Be!" The claim stuck, the glow proved it, and I am going to get bloody rich! While I am at it, I claimed the chamber… Wait a moment, a popular topic is claiming the whole House!
§I, Harry James Potter, Claim House Slytherin and Gaunt by Right Of Conquest! So-Mote-It-Be!§ the light effects were impressive, a silvery glow surrounded me for half a minute, maybe it is because I claimed two Houses at once. I have to find the bloody rings though.
With my good deed done, I went back up to Myrtle's bathroom and closed the sink. "I know that you are watching, Myrtle. I took care of the monster that slayed you. You can pass on if you want."
"I can, Harry Potter, I would have welcomed you here if you died and came back as a Ghost."
I smiled: "I would have liked that, say hi to Mum and Dad for me."
Myrtle nodded and faded away. Now, why did she stay here in the books and movies? Maybe nobody said she could bugger off when the snake was gone.
Xxxxx
This was a speed kill, I returned the roosters to Mippy and went to the Womping Willow, pressed the nob with Magic, and at the shack I called out to Kreacher.
He popped in after a minute, "Why is half-blood calling Kreacher? Noble Malfoy be the next Lord, not a filthy half-blood."
"I will make this short, Kreacher, take me to Grimmauld Place, so I can collect Master Regulus' Locket and take it to Gringotts to get it destroyed. NOW!"
Elves do listen better to clear commands, while in here I took control of the Wardstones, the house recognized the new owner, Kreacher handed the Locket and watched it stored with the diary and Tiara.
"Listen, and listen good, Kreacher, the Malfoy's were kissing Voldemort's ass. They to were responsible for Master Reggie's death. When you return home, after you take me back to Hogwarts, you clean this pig sty, so that I won't be embarrassed when people come for a visit. Now take me to Gringotts at the steps outside the door, and wait for my call."
"Greetings warriors," I said to the guards, I have some cursed artifacts with me that I need your curse breakers to clean, can I go in? The name is Heir Potter." I flashed my ring.
They guided me to Golddigger, after the traditional greeting I said: "Remember what was in my scar? Well, I have three items that have the same taint to be cleansed, I need two of the objects restored to their former glory and put in my vault, oh, can you contact my lawyer too?"
Golddigger paled, Horcruxes are over his pay grade, he better call his pepe, he punched a number of buttons, to call his reinforcements.
I took the lead-plated box out and presented it to the curse breaker: "I need the Tiara and Locket in prime condition, you can do what you like with the diary."
I looked at Blooddagger and said: "I investigated this, Tom Marvolo Riddle is the real name of Voldemort. He is the spawn of Merope Gaunt and a muggle from their Neighborhood. I want to buy that property and have it curse-free. I suspect he has put a Horcrux there too."
Now, a bit of bull shitting: "Blooddagger, I took that diary from Ginny Weasley, Malfoy planted it on the girl in Diagon Alley, the Locket was in the House of Black, Regulus Black defected and stole the Locket when he found out what it was. I bet Voldemort gave one to Bellatrix too and she probably stored it in her Vault." Cursing something foul, Blooddagger rushed outside.
I turned to Golddigger and grinned: "Ah, my account manager, do I have a job for you. Tell me, how rare are basilisk eyes?"
Golddigger swallowed: "Those are almost impossible to obtain, Heir Potter, they are insanely expensive, the eyes of the basilisks are destroyed at the breeders to prevent fatalities, very rare are there usable eyes for sale."
"Well, my dear account manager, I happen to have a basilisk for sale with the eyes intact. Are you up for it? I offer 1% of the sale as commission, on condition that you arrange the rendering, transport, and auction of the basilisk. Do we have a deal?"
Golddigger suspected a trap: "That seems a bit low Heir Potter, how big is that Basilisk you are talking about? The ones fresh from their egg, don't go for much, and their eyes are worthless. Most don't survive their first week."
"Well, mine is about a thousand years old, give or take a decade." I bragged, "I just killed it not two hours ago, there are also a few shed skins that can get a good price." I turned serious: "I estimate it will sell for more than three million Galleons. 1% is still thirty thousand Galleons. I bet that is enough to cut a snake up and sell the parts in an auction, don't you think?"
Golddigger woke up: "That is too low, Heir Potter, If I have to bare the cost for rendering and auctioning, there will not be much left for me. 3% if the Basilisk sells over three million galleons, and a percent more for every hundred thousand Galleons the basilisk sells below those three million. And we share the costs for rendering and auctioning." he offered.
"I can live with that, we have a deal, Golddigger, can you make a contract for it? I can provide a memory of the Snake as proof." I better close that deal before Grandpa comes to mess it up.
That got him slapping some buttons and a lot of conversation in gobelybobbely. A group of elders came in, while a youngster carried a Pensieve and placed it in the middle of the room.
"You can place the memory in the Pensieve, Heir Potter. The memory will be projected above the Pensieve," explained Golddigger.
"Then it will be two memories, I waited an hour to make sure the Basilisk was dead." I put my first memory in, entering the chamber, turning on the lights, and unloading the roosters. It was a bit embarrassing to see myself running outside and close the door.
"Very wise, Heir Potter. Only fools would wait inside and risk certain death. The other memory please."
I played the memory from the moment that I entered the chamber again until after I claimed the carcass and Houses, the glow confirmed my claim. Those elders were drooling over the carcass.
"Golddigger and I came to an agreement for selling the Basilisk, I leave the details to him once we signed the contract," I commented. That is the way to earn money, let someone else do the heavy lifting, while I sit back and relax and count my Galleons.
An elder asked: "What oath or declaration did you make in Parseltongue, Heir Potter? The silver sphere was very impressive, Magic must have liked it for it to last that long."
"I claimed House Gaunt and Slytherin by right of conquest, I don't know which House I got or both, but I guess I need the rings to prove my claim," I answered.
That stirred up a doxy nest, Golddigger slapped some more buttons, and suddenly some big shots entered the room, even the elders were respectful. After some explaining, and showing the Memory, the boss looked at me and said: "You are sure you claimed House Slytherin by right of Conquest?"
I nodded: "Slytherin and Gaunt, Voldemort's real name is Tom Marvolo Riddle. I looked it up. The last Lord was Morphin Gaunt, his father named Marvolo Gaunt. The daughter Merope eloped with a Tom Riddle." Those are the facts that can easily be checked in the records.
The boss said some words, and one rushed out. He said: "We have the Slytherin rings here at hand, the Gaunt ring did not return. They ruined themselves three hundred years ago, there is a vault but it was kept inactive for that long. Those fools started a war against us, after losing it, the ministry had to do a lot of concessions and took it out on the Gaunts."
I shrugged: "And Riddle will no doubt continue that tradition, he is looking down on Muggles and Muggleborn, then you can imagine what he thinks about Goblins, Veela, or Centaurs. That and he is a crazy bastard, you have no doubt heard about his Horcruxes."
Blooddagger came in the room, and nodded to the boss: "The Horcruxes are gone. The one in Bellatrix Lestrange too, it was Hufflepuffs' chalice. I claimed the artifacts for House Potter. What has to be done with that Vault?" he asked.
"We confiscate the Galleons, all items will be put in the Black Vault, and grant 20% of the gold to the Potter Vault." He said.
A goblin returned with a set of rings, Blooddagger guided me: "First try the heir ring on, if it accepts you, you can put the Lord ring on and see if you got accepted as the new Lord. Although I would advise to wait two years. You have a lot to learn, being a Lord comes with a lot of responsibilities. You can appoint a regent for house Slytherin, for house Black too, not for house Potter, Dumbledore claimed that illegally."
I thought about Lord Greengrass and Lord Davis from the first Level, they seemed to be good guys, and it will stick a pole up Dumbledore's ass if I make them Regents. I made my choices clear to Blooddagger.
"Can you invite Lord Greengrass and Lord Davis to come along with your team to Hogwarts to inspect the Basilisk and transport it away?" I asked
Blooddagger exploded: "What Basilisk? Golddigger! What did you do?"
I grinned: "I made a good deal, Golddigger will explain it. I have to go now, it is almost dinner time, and Dumbledore will miss me if I am not there."
Kreacher popped me back in the shack. Tomorrow is Sunday, the Goblins will arrive after breakfast, which will turn Dumbledore's knickers in a twist for sure.
Xxxxx
When we went to dinner, I asked: "Ginny, did you have friends at the Burrow, or was it just you and your brothers?"
"No, Luna lives a half mile away, we used to play a lot together until her Mum died three years ago, it became a bit awkward between her and Mum. Mum wanted to 'mother' her, and Luna resisted it, you know how Mum can be. She is sorted into Ravenclaw, she is very smart, but her Mum's death hurt her a lot." explained Ginny.
"I want to meet her, you know what? Let's eat at the Ravenclaw table." I proposed, "I bet Luna can use the company of her friend and maybe can use another one."
At the table, Luna sat alone with a dreamy expression on her face, Ginny took place next to her and I sat in front of them.
"Hey, Luna, do you mind if we keep you company? This is Harry Potter, Harry, this is my best friend Luna." introduced Ginny, "How are your classes, Luna? It is sad that we don't share many classes together. How about we work on our homework together like we used to do?"
Luna smiled: "I would like that, Ginny. Hello, Harry Potter, I am afraid I am not one of your Future wives."
I shrugged: "Don't worry, I can't win them all. Do you have an eye on someone already?" I asked.
She shook her head: "No, Daddy said I had to wait until I am forty years old to get married. I doubt I can wait that long." she dreamily proclaimed.
I nodded: "That is what all dads tell their daughters, they want to protect them against the boys that want to steal them away."
Luna looked closely at me: "I am surprised you have so few Nargels around you. I expected more of them."
"Goblins got rid of most of my Nargels with some cleansing rituals a few weeks ago." I explained, "They didn't have a chance to latch at me, and I hope they stay away for a long time."
Half the Ravenclaw table was listening to our conversation, "What are Nargels exactly, Harry?, I never could see one for myself." asked Ginny.
"Well, Ginny, you can only see them if you can see Magic," I bullshitted, "Mage sight they call it, then you see spells and other effects as colorful blobs or shapes. Nargels, for example, are located around the head, spells like confundus show as colors, but also your emotions have colors, I guess Luna named those negative emotions and spells Nargels."
By the look on Luna's face, I am pretty close to the truth. "Mum and I named them so when I was five years old, I kept the names to have something from my Mum with me," said Luna with a sad face.
"That is nice if you have something from your mother to remember her by, the only thing I remember from my Mum is a green light when I wake up from my nightmare." Yes, this one is riding the pity train, all the girls that were listening in had tears in their eyes, and the boys were fighting evil in their minds. It will reduce the bullying of Luna a lot, and reconnecting with Ginny will make her life easier.
That evening Ron returned from Percy, without a word he shut the drapes from his bed. I bet that talk changed his life. Welcome to the big boys, Dude!
Xxxxx
The next morning I went down early, at the head table I saw Flitwick, who is an early riser too McGonagall and Dumbledore were not yet present.
I went to Flitwick: "Sir, after breakfast a delegation from Gringotts will come to the castle with Lord Greengrass and Lord Davis on House Business, I promise we will not disturb other students."
Flitwick nodded: "Don't worry, Mr. Potter. That is not unusual. There are enough empty classrooms and meeting rooms to have a meeting."
"Thank you, sir, can I invite you to that meeting, sir? You might find it interesting." I offered.
"You made me curious Mr. Potter, I will come," answered Flitwick.
I spotted Daphne and Tracey at the breakfast table, and went to them: "Ladies, may I join you for breakfast? I have something to discuss with you."
Tracey said: "Sit down Potter, as long you won't go feral on us. You scared us out of our skin when you mauled Lockhart."
I smiled: "I promise to never scare you again, you both have pretty skin, it would be a shame to scare you out of it again."
I sat down and filled my plate: "After breakfast, your fathers are coming to Hogwarts for some House business between them and me, you are both invited to attend that meeting... No, there will be no betrothal talks, if that is what is worrying you." I added, by the looks of horror on their faces.
Daphne hissed: "You lied to us, Potter! You promised it, and not a minute later you scared us out of our skin again!"
"I think I saw Nana waving at me from the beyond." complained Tracey, "I thought my world crashed down on me."
"Can you give a hint?" asked Daphne, "So we can prepare our actions."
"Not here, there are too many ears and listening spells. I have to collect Hermione to come along too. They will arrive at the gate at nine-thirty.
Xxxxx
A small group waited at the gate for the visitors, Hermione, Ginny, and Luna joined, after introducing Daphne and Tracey, I explained the reason for the visit.
"A part of this visit is that I discovered that I am the Primary Heir of two more… three more Houses. For two Houses I need Regents to sit as proxy in the Wizengamot. House Black and House Slytherin. I have House Gaunt too, but that is nothing to brag about."
Daphne gasped: "You want to make our fathers Regents! Why? That is a big decision to make. Did you think this over, Potter?"
"Your parents are powerful, I can tell, because nobody is messing with the both of you in Slytherin, even the ferret behaves in front of you." I explained, "I need that power at my back to get rid of Dumbledore. Ah! There they are."