Hello :P It is Wednesday and I am back with a new chapter. I'm happy to be uploading this one today. I wrote it a few weeks ago when I had a Justin Morgan phase and kept writing loads of ideas and notes down about him and wrote this as well. Then that died down and I was more into Kiawe and writing notes about him. But a few days ago, I got back into Justin again and I'm still working on him so it's a good time to upload this. This is the heartfelt goodbye between Justin and his Dad, James, when Justin is about to embark on his world tour. He is a musician, as you know, and when he's a late teenager/early adult, he pursues it for good. And he's pretty successful. So I hope you like this. Enjoy!
Ages:
Justin: 20
James: 41
Disclaimer: I own the story and all of the OC offspring mentioned!
James let out a wistful sigh as he pushed all of his long lavender locks onto one of his shoulders and then put both of his hands into his back pockets before he continued slowly pacing around the room. Though he could feel emotion in his throat and his chest, his posture was good. His shoulders were held high. His chin was jutted in the air as his eyes took in all of the sights of the bedroom. He turned gently on his heels to study the walls further.
He let out another quiet noise but that time, it wasn't a sigh. It was more of a grunt. It was more of a melancholy grunt. His eyes softened as they took in the dual coloured painted walls; one wall deep purple and the other dark teal and yet another one deep purple and yet another one dark teal. He then stopped, his hands remaining in his back pockets. His eyes focused on the many, many posters covering the richly painted walls.
There were people, the faces of people – musicians from lots of different generations. There were even more people still, the faces of people – actors and actresses decorating exciting action movie posters. And then there was a map. Such a large map. There was a map of the world and carefully scribbled on various points on the paper were smiley faces and dates, labelling destinations that had been travelled to as well as the dates that those magical trips had been experienced.
James smiled softly to himself. Lots more locations on the map were soon to be covered and experienced but not by him. Not that time. He was going to have to make sure he dotted and dated all of the places for him. He was going to have to mark out different places on the map for his son. The lavender haired male pulled his hands back out from his pockets. He was lulling in his son's bedroom. He was hanging out in Justin's bedroom – on the same day that he was heading off on his first world tour. It was soon to be an emotional moment. It was soon to be goodbye.
From sitting on the young adult male's bedroom window sill, I smiled wistfully myself and watched James shake his head to himself as he thought of the same thoughts that I was. It was almost time for goodbye. But he didn't let his mind linger there much longer. He would deal with that when the moment actually arrived. He had lots of minutes yet; perhaps even hours. He would deal with that goodbye when the time finally came. But for now, he wanted to just look around his oldest son's bedroom. And it was up to me to reminisce.
Justin hadn't resided in that bedroom for his whole entire life but it almost felt that way by how the walls and the shelves were decorated with everything that was him and that had always been him. There were tattered books about the adventures of pirates when he was a little lad and used to play dress up with his father, stuffed at the back of his bookshelf. There were more modern books as well, like how to teach yourself guitar and how to write your own songs. There were photo memories on the walls too. Him as a little boy. Him as a teenager. Him as an adult. Him with friends. Him with family. Him alone.
In that moment, a lump filled my own throat. All of those things were laced so much by the essence of him. They were laced by the essence of Justin. And soon enough, that would be all that we would have left of him in our vicinity when he went away. That was sad. That felt very sad. But in a way, it was the circle of life. And it had to happen.
Before I could linger on my own wistful thoughts or James' brain could tug him down a route of overthinking about his son's departure, the deep purple haired male entered the room. He blinked when he was greeted by the back of his father's body as he was continuing to look at all the guitar posters on his walls. Justin didn't hesitate to cheekily dart behind him and wrap his arms behind him, biting his lip. He scrunched his nose up playfully.
"I see how it is, I see." He began teasing his father and this caused James to jump slightly, not expecting his son's presence and not expecting him to be so perky so early in the morning. Well, it was early for him. He soon raised an eyebrow, letting Justin hold onto him. He continued. "You're picking out what you want from my bedroom when I'm gone. I can't say I blame you. I've always thought this would look very tasteful in you and Lynne's room."
He told his father jokingly and darted back away from him to playfully tap with the palm of his hand a poster of a cartoon that he used to watch as a very young child. James blinked upon hearing his words but he soon smirked at Justin's jester attitude and rolled his eyes, folding his arms over his chest.
"You know what? You're so right. I actually think I'm going to take all of your stuff out of here. That way I don't have to come in here and sniff your stinky socks when I'm feeling a little blue." He responded to his son with equal humour and light-heartedness, smirking even more when Justin burst into laughter. I couldn't help but watch them. They really were two peas in a pod. And in that moment, I didn't know what the pod was going to do without both of its peas.
As if both of the Morgan males could sense my lingering wistfulness, their laughter died down at the same time and they didn't have any more jokes with each other following that moment. They remained quiet. James' hands went back to his pockets. Justin took some steps back from looking at the posters on the wall himself before his fingers ran through his new, shorter hair. It didn't surprise me that it was him who eventually broke the silence. After all, he was the most outgoing of the pair. He smiled airily, showing off his dimple and copying his arms over his chest like his father had been doing before.
"I suppose its nature." He began, getting James' attention and getting mine as well. Both James and I shared the same inquisitive and curious expression, our heads tilting on one side. One of my ears stood straight upwards while the other one lulled as Justin continued. "You're going to be clearing all of this stuff out of it soon and putting it in storage. You won't change too much of it though, will you?"
The way Justin talked intrigued me. He said the first part of his sentences as if he had thought of them just there and then but the second part was different. He said his last sentence and his question hurriedly, like it was something he'd been meaning to ask for a while but never found the right moment. And then it just escaped his lips in a fast and hasty fashion.
James initially just furrowed his brow and shook his head. This was enough to relax Justin. Though he hadn't appeared scared or anxious about his departure prior, he seemed to perk up even more. But James wasn't done there. He remained quiet for a few seconds and moved over to the other window sill. He sat on it, his legs residing over the radiator. He shook his head for a few seconds more and continued furrowing his brow before carrying on speaking.
"I'm not going to change a thing, Justin." He told him and pushed all of his hair over onto the opposite shoulder once again. His hands then rested in his lap as he spoke to his son. Justin listened to his father's honesty. "This is your room. This is your home. Whether you live here or not. Really, I'm not going to change a thing and your mom isn't either."
Justin's expression was serious and his brow was furrowing as he listened to his father but his expression soon changed. It perked up. He smiled at his father, his arms remaining over his chest. He let out a sigh of relief for affect. He casually leaned up against the wall with some of his favourite posters on.
"Phew. That's a relief." He said, his eyes wandering around the room before they found James' and he squinted airily but sheepishly. "I didn't know what kind of plans you had for this place. I thought I'd get back and it was completely different. Like I'd never even lived here.
"Never." The lavender haired male was quick to tell his son and he soon nodded his head, shutting his mouth with a slight clicking noise. But he wasn't being told off. He just knew that his fantasies had been silly and, even though his father would never judge him for having those worries, they definitely weren't going to come true.
James paused for a moment, his hands remaining in his lap before his thumbs began twiddling for a moment. I thought he was going to continue reassuring his son but then I saw an almost teary expression washing over his face. He swallowed. I understood. He wasn't hurt or upset that Justin had thought that they might change his room as if he never lived there. It wasn't that at all.
In that moment in time, he didn't have the strength to reassure his son further that things would stay the same because that would mean he'd have to admit that things weren't going to stay entirely the same. Justin was leaving; that was a massively new thing. And he knew that if he focused on that too heavily, he might even have to leave the room to shed a few tears. So instead of all of that, he subtly changed the subject.
"So, Justin, are you all packed?" he asked the deep purple haired young adult as he came to sit down on the window sill next to him, his own longer and slighter legs draped next to his father's. They were almost mirror images of each other, except for the hair.
Their sitting positions were the same. Their hands in their laps were the same. Their soft expressions were the same. They were the same. I felt a pang. I really didn't know what I would do without seeing both of them together.
The younger Morgan nodded his head slowly, nodding thoughtfully to himself for a few seconds before he snapped out of it. He soon smiled, focusing on the excitement that he was about to embark on his first ever world tour. The first of many, he hoped. His long legs began to swing slightly, knocking into the wall behind them.
"Yep. Yes, I think so. I reckon I'm all packed." He told his father, beginning to squint again when the mid-morning sun started to creep in through the window. Justin spoke, both of his dimples being showed off. "Well, except for one thing. I need to add that to the extra compartment on my bag."
I tilted my head on one side and this intrigued James too. He looked at his son, for once not knowing what he was getting at. He really wanted to know and I did too. And Justin could tell this. He didn't hesitate to almost leap up and his long legs carried him over to his bed. He crouched down to reach something from underneath the frame of his bed. James frowned, watching. Justin soon produced exactly what it was. The lavender haired male groaned, half fondly and half for real when his eldest boy pulled out a jumbo cereal box and tried to stuff it in the small compartment of his back. He sighed, shaking his head while Justin smiled gleefully.
"You do realise that I am going to save an absolute fortune from not buying all of that crap when you go away, don't you?" he asked him with a serious expression on his face and his arms folded but his words were most definitely light-hearted, I knew it. And Justin knew it too.
He pretended to flutter his eyelashes at his father and smiled handsomely at him before moving back over to him and sitting down next to him. He shrugged his shoulders and slapped James' thigh lightly as he smirked at him.
"You love me." He told him simply before laughing at himself, leaving James meeting my eyes and raising an eyebrow before looking back at Justin and can't helping but smirk at him as well. He slapped his son's thigh lightly back, nudging his shoulder into his.
James continued shaking his head. He continued shaking his head for a good few minutes while Justin bit his lip and laughed. He wanted to joke with his son back but he didn't. He wanted to tease his son back but he didn't. In that moment, all he wanted to do was reflect on how much indeed he did love him. So he did just that. His head shake turned to that of fondness as he thought to himself.
Justin had always been an amusing little lad. He was sweet and he was sensitive but he could be cheeky too. He was playful. They had both gotten into so much mischief together. It was so strange that it was going to be just one of them left. James had been there first but in some ways, I felt like there had never been James without Justin.
The lavender haired male wanted to continue thinking to himself but he soon couldn't help but enlighten his son about everything that he was thinking. He went back to shaking his head fondly, edging closer on the window sill next to the deep purple haired male.
"You really haven't changed one bit, have you?" he asked his son and when he replied with a shake of his head and an earnest smile, James pretended to lightly whack his cheek before going back to conversing with him. He sighed fondly. "Thank goodness for it. But the amount of times I got into trouble with your mom for caving and giving you cereal for dinner like you wanted. You definitely can't do that on the road!"
"Do you have any advice for me?" Justin suddenly asked, his sweet and sometimes puppy-like face changing to that of seriousness. I noted that, once again, his words came out hurriedly like they'd been on queue for a while but didn't know quite how to ask them. He elaborated. "For being on the road, I mean. For travelling. You did it when you were my age, didn't you?"
James nodded his head and I couldn't help but let out my own breath of air from sitting on the opposite window sill to them. I looked up at the ceiling pattern above me and thought to myself, my paws tingling with memory. The lavender haired male had indeed travelled the world when he was just his son's age and younger too. I smiled to myself. Those two were so very the same but they were also so very different and I realised that then.
James had travelled the world as part of Team Rocket and in his trio of himself, Jessie and Meowth. They travelled to steal and possess and thrive. His contrasted deeply to the motive that made Justin leave the nest. He wanted to travel to share his music and to perform and to thrive. I stopped to myself, thinking even more. Their motives were very very different. But there was one thing that was the time. They both left and were going to leave for freedom. And they knew they were both lucky to have had that opportunity.
I on the other hand, was lucky to have not missed all of James' advice for his son while I was off in dreamland, thinking to myself. The lavender haired male stopped playing with his hair and started speaking to his son. Now that the subject was bought up, he had a lot of advice for him.
"I do. I guess I do, yeah." He began by telling his son this, giving himself more time to really think about his answer. Justin showed off a small smile and listened attentively. James continued. "Just… Just seize every opportunity and learn. Really try to see it all. Visit cool places. Eat all kinds of new foods… Not just cereal." He couldn't help but joke with him, causing Justin to smirk before he went back to being serious. "Just do it all, Justin. And be prepared to grow a hell of a lot. There's a whole world out there. And I fell in love while out there. I fell in love with your mom while travelling. Journeying. It's wonderful. Experience it all."
Justin nodded his head slowly as he listened to each and every word coming out of his father's mouth. He really was listening to him, you could tell by the way his head had moved closer to him and his eyes were lingering right on his. He frowned as he listened to some of it, making sure he remembered it all. He smiled at other parts of it. He softly smiled. And then he smiled even more, nudging his shoulder against James' like he had done to him before.
"Well… All of that sounds great, Dad, it really does. But I'm already in love. I don't need to go out there and to travel to fall in love. I've already done that, right here in this region."
James chuckled quietly upon hearing this but he was not mocking his son, far from it. He was agreeing with him. He nodded his head and continued laughing quietly, pushing all of his hair from his eyes with one movement from the palm of his hand. He shrugged his shoulders while agreeing.
"Well... In that case, you can still experience it all. You can still travel the world and meet all these new people and connect with everybody through your music and you can become a whole new person. And then you can come home. You can come home to me, your mom and Sammy too. And we'll love you just the same. And we'll experience all that beauty and wonder through your eyes and your story and even more music that I'm sure you'll write."
It was Justin's turn to chuckle and, like his father, he was not mocking him either. He was agreeing as well. They really did know each other more than anyone. Even though they had been through their trials and tribulations and at some stages they felt like they really didn't know one and other at all, they really did. They knew each other. They accepted each other. They loved each other. And they would miss each other.
After they shared some chuckles, they both went quiet. As they both sat together on the window sill, their legs lulling by the radiator, they both went quiet. They were both thoughtful. And like always, it was Justin to be the one to break the silence. He ran his fingers through his longer parts of his shorter hair, looking over at his father.
"You will look after Sammy for me, won't you?" he asked James, referring to his boyfriend of almost two years and I couldn't help but listen in even more. My back was aching from sitting in the same position for so long but I didn't dare move. I didn't want to move. I didn't want to miss a minute. Justin shuffled almost shyly. "I mean, I know it's a strange thing to ask. But you know that he doesn't have any family around here. I've been his family. We've been his family. You-"
James' heart softened upon hearing his son rambling. He knew that meant the subject meant a lot to him. He didn't hesitate to reassure him, putting his hand on his knee cap and letting it linger there for a while. His green orbs met his son's ones that were teal mixed with the same ones.
"I will look out for Sammy for you, Justin." He told his son earnestly and truthfully, his eyes not leaving his. He nodded his head sincerely even though he didn't need to. His eyes were showing all the honesty in the world. He gave him a small smile. "Whatever you ask me, I will do. I will do whatever, Justin."
I expected James' words to be met with thankful eyes and a grateful dimple showing smile and this did happen, but only briefly. Justin suddenly changed. More words came blurting out. He almost edged closer to his father. Even though his words were said airily, you could feel the emotion that was building up inside of them.
"You are going to miss me, aren't you?" he asked his father and for a moment, James' expression showed exactly what he felt inside – like he couldn't believe he was hearing this words. Justin quickly clarified, not wanting to come off needy or bratty. The normally collected male shuffled some more. "I mean, I know you are. I don't know. Sometimes I feel like you haven't acted all emotional and you haven't freaked out like I expected. We're the same. I don't know. I expected some different stuff. But I don't want you to be upset and mixed up about it all. I just-"
"Justin." James couldn't help but interrupt his son when he was rambling again but he wasn't doing it because his son was irritating him. He really wasn't. He just knew his son. He just understood his son. Justin went quiet again and James tilted his head on one side, speaking to him. "What do you want me to do, start crying and beg you to stay?"
The lavender haired male asked his son this jokingly but the deep purple haired male's eyes widened and he quickly shook his head. James smirked fondly again, briefly, but I was more focused on the thickness in his voice as he made his last joking question. He knew it was time. There was no escaping it. He knew it was time to let his son know how he truly felt about him leaving home. It was time to get emotional.
"Justin…" he began again to get his attention, his hand remaining on his kneecap and his other hand being used to push his strand from his eyes. He slowly shook his head, already getting lost in the thoughts he knew it was time to say. "Let me tell something that will make you understand just how much I love you and how much I'm going to miss you."
Justin's eyes widened a second time upon hearing this but he soon nodded his head. He moved closer to his father. He was ready to listen. James was ready to speak. It was time.
"Do you know when or what has been a moment where I've been most happy in my life?" he asked his son and before his eyes could widen more with curiosity and shake his head, he continued. "It was… I don't know… Maybe seven or eight years ago when you and Jazzy were just about to be teenagers. Jayden was nine. Jaxon was ten. And I used to lay awake at night. Not because I was sad or angry or unhappy. I just used to lay awake and I used to listen. I used to listen to the night. And I could feel you all. I had your mom by my side. I knew that you were sound asleep in your room. I knew that Jazmyn was asleep in hers. Jayden and Jaxon were snoring in theirs. And I was so happy. I was so peaceful. Because I knew you were all there. I knew you were all safe."
I listened to each and every word and Justin did too. James paused for a few minutes to give his son some moments to absorb this information before he continued some more. My heart began to pound but not with fear or anxiety. It was love and it was anticipation. I knew that what James had to say was very heartfelt and very worthy indeed. And I was right.
"And then fast forward a bunch of years." He continued, his hand remaining on his son's leg while he thoughtfully played with his strand. He swallowed nonchalantly. "Fast forward a bunch of years and you're nearly an adult. You've met Sammy and you're staying over at his all the time and you're not in that bedroom anymore. But Jorgie is around at this point and she's a little baby and-"
"You had one half out of the nest but a brand new baby so the house was still full. There was no one missing. I get it." Justin interrupted his father and he laughed but not in a hurt or bitter way. He thought he was right. His chuckle proved that he thought he understood and he thought that he was right. But he was wrong.
"No." James told his son with a brow furrow and a shake of the head and after Justin blinked and repeated his word of 'no', he continued. He shook his head slightly but he continued. Along with his head shaking, his voice grew more trembling. He was getting to the truth of it all.
"Let me start again. You were half out of the nest. You were staying out with your boyfriend all the time and staying at his house. Jorgie came along. But did she fill that gap? No. I used to do the same thing. I used to lay awake and listen to the world being peaceful and quiet. I had your mom sleeping by my side, sometimes Lynne. I had Jazzy in her bedroom with Leo. I had Jayden passing out early from being exhausted painting all day. I had Jaxon finally being quiet and sleeping in his bedroom. I had Jorgie sleeping in her crib or in my bed with me. But I didn't have you. I didn't have you, Justin. And I could sense that emptiness. I could feel that emptiness. It wasn't the same without you. And that's how it's going to be from now on. But not just for one night. It's going to be every night. I'm going to lay there. And I'm going to miss you. Justin, I am going to miss you so fucking much."
And with that, the lavender haired male's voice cracked and he grabbed the side of his son's face with his hand and pulled him into a tight hug, trying not to cry too much. I didn't bother to hide my tears pooling in my eyes while for a good few moments, Justin was stunned as he was being held in his father's arms.
He didn't know what to do. He didn't know how to feel. He had been told so much. He had assumed that his dad's story would go one way but it took a completely different turn. He thought to himself. He reflected on his words. He suddenly understood. His dad was going to miss him so much. And on top of that, he was going to miss him too. He knew that he was going to go away and he was going to be missed but he had almost forgotten that he was going to miss too. He fought back his own tears as he then held onto his father just as tightly.
"Dad…" he mumbled but he couldn't really say much else. What could he say that would be just as earnest and heartfelt and wonderful as what his father had said to him? I knew he would've thought of something but Justin didn't really think so. So he just decided to say his name over and over again, his voice filled with emotion. "Dad…"
But the deep purple haired male didn't have time to cry into his lavender haired father's chest. James took back hold of the side of his son's jawline and held it in his hand. He then bought his other hand to his face. He held his son's face. And he looked into his eyes.
"You really need to know this. Justin, you really need to know how much I am going to miss you." The green orbed male warned his son over what he was about to hear and before he said anything, his son's eyes squeezed together emotionally and a tear slid out of one of them. Even though he was already visibly emotional, James said it all.
"You are my son, Justin. You are my eldest son. You came from me and I technically gave you life but, believe me, you gave me just as much life. I'm so proud of you. Your confidence - I don't even wish that I had that because it's yours and it's a wonderful trait of yours. I don't wish I was as talented as you either because that is all you. You came from me. Justin, you came from me. But you are so much more than I could ever hope to be. You are kind. You are soft. You are funny. You are encouraging. You are warm. You are beautiful. For your whole life, I've watched you. I've had a front seat ticket for it all and how lucky am I to have witnessed it all? You're about to go out into the world now and you're going to have such a powerful effect on so many people. You may even change some lives. Your life will be changed but you will change lives too. You are ready to go out into the world, Justin. And my god, how lucky is the world to have you."
When James had finished saying all of this, there were tears in his eyes and Justin's eyes and mine too. We were all emotional. We were all moved. We were all crying. We were all touched. The two Morgan male's arms remained around each other tightly and even though I hadn't been a part of their hug, I had been part of their moment and what an incredible moment it was.
Justin thought that his goodbye from his father was going to be different than that. He didn't know in what way but he just expected it to be different. But following all of the words that James had said to him, he really couldn't have wished to have it any other way. He was lucky. He was so so lucky. His father had set him up. James had set him up to go into the world and he was so ready. He was ready to experience it all. He was ready to make the world his own. He was ready to take his first steps into the unknown. He knew he had James behind him and he had every member of our group behind him. He was ready for the world. And that day, James was righter than he'd ever been in his whole life.
My goodness, how lucky was the world to have Justin Morgan. And so were we. So were we.
The End.
There you go! Thanks so much for reading and I hope you enjoyed :3 This was a really fun one for me to write. A task that I set myself was for me to write about Justin aside from his sexuality and I think I captured that here. It's more about who he is as a person and his relationship with his father. It also mentions the name Sammy as his boyfriend and he's pretty well developed even though I haven't written about him properly as of yet. I must do soon! This was also good for me to write because I was able to get myself really into it seeing as my own brother has plans to go traveling next year and this is something that me and my family will have to deal with. It was good to write about the feelings and dilemmas that may come up. In fact, Justin asking his Dad not to change his room too much was something my brother asked me :P Thanks again and I will be back next Wednesday so see you then!
AmyBieberKetchum signing out :3