Hello :P It is Wednesday and I am back with a new chapter. I wrote this story not too long ago and it focuses on some subjects that I've been thinking about for a while. It focuses on some of the fears that Lynne has about Jorgie's future - whether they will be on earth all that long and whether they will eventually be apart from each other or not. And it focuses on Jessie and Lynne's relationship too. They are connected through their relationships with James, of course, but I wanted to show that it's more than that. I hope you enjoy :3
Ages:
Lynne: 30
Jorgie: 9 Months Old
Jessie: 40
Disclaimer: I own the story and the OCs mentioned!
I wanted to sigh, but I didn't. I felt like I couldn't. In some strange way, I felt like I shouldn't. If it did, it might have made me feel sadder. If I did, it might have made me feel more worried. If I did do what I felt I needed to do, I might have made someone even sadder as well and even more thoughtful too. So instead, I kept quiet. And I watched.
I watched Lynne trying to distract and entertain her nine month old baby girl on the rug on she and Jordan's living room, running her fingers through her feathery locks and stroking her cheeks. She tried to smile at her. She tried to be playful. She tried to be warm. And it was most unlike herself that, like with what I was feeling, she felt like she couldn't do these things. She felt like she couldn't be herself. And Jorgie sensed this. It made her feel even more unsettled. She began to whimper all over again.
Automatically, Lynne shook her head at herself and tried to force a smile for the little girl. She lifted the orange haired baby up into her arms and held her in front of her face, lightly touching her nose against hers to try and soothe her. It didn't work. At the gesture, her body seemed to tense even more. It was like she was sensing even more emotions from her mother. Her little body went stiff and she hiccupped, trying to hold back a sob. The orange haired lady from 'up there' almost felt the same way. She wanted to cry as well. But once again, she couldn't.
She noticed that Jorgie became even more unsettled when she was so close to her so she put her back down on the rug in front of her once more. Right away, the little baby reacted to this. Even though she had been uncomfortable being so close to her mother and feeling all of her emotions flooding through her, she didn't like being out of her arms either. She let out a confused cry and desperately held her little hands out to her.
Lynne was just as desperate as her daughter was and in that moment, she was finding it increasingly difficult to hide it. She openly shook her head and shrugged, running a hand through her long and ginger locks. She let out the shaky sigh that I had been holding in. She finally spoke some words to the little girl and she most certainly didn't like what she was hearing.
"I know what you want, okay? I know you want him. But he needs space. He needs a break, Jorgie. He needs a bit of a break."
Lynne's words were said shakily but with a mother-like gentleness. But they still bought upset and confusing to the small little girl. As soon as she heard them, she shook her head like she very much understood them and her pouty mouth went into a firm 'o' shape. She was not happy. She was really not happy. She started to cry and for yet another time, it looked like Lynne was about to as well.
Before I could bite my lip and jump down from sitting on the sofa and try and assist in any way that I could, someone else got there before me. Before Lynne could shakily laugh and admit to her daughter that she needed a break too, the door joining her and Jordan's section of the house to the Morgan Mansion opened. It opened rather quietly but rather firmly. It was Jessie. And I hoped that she was there to help.
As soon as Jorgie heard the door opening, her big green round orbs widened even further. Her head and neck craned with hope. Could it be…? She was so hoping that it could have been. But it wasn't. It wasn't her father. It was his wife. And as soon as Jorgie saw her magenta long and flowing locks, she let out another hiccup of disappointment before bursting into even more tears.
"Oh, Jorgie…" Lynne mumbled to the little girl and picked her up onto her hip, keeping her away from her face so she didn't pick up on even more of her emotions. They remained close but they kept their distance. The mother ran the palm of her hand over her slightly damp with upset locks and tried to soothe her. "Surely you can be with me for just a portion of the day?"
Upon hearing her mother's words, the little girl's eyes pooled with even more tears. She looked like she was trying to stop herself but soon enough, her mouth turned completely into an upside down 'u' shape. She really wanted her father. And the fact that he didn't want her at that moment in time made her very upset indeed. It made her feel very confused. She wanted to flail her arms about and cry, but she didn't. She was still a very young baby, but she was special. She knew when she had to keep her cool. And in that moment, she knew that she had to do exactly that.
"Oh dear, that is not a happy face at all." Jessie commented lightly as she entered the room properly and sat down with the two other girls, seeing Jorgie's unhappy expression straight away. When after her words and the little girl's expression still hadn't changed, Jessie continued, moving closer to Lynne and running her fingers through her hair with one of her hands. She was being neutral. "Do you want me to take her for a bit?"
I thought that this was a very kind gesture and I was sure that Lynne would've accepted. Even if Jorgie was to kick up even more of a fuss, I could tell that she really did need a break. She hadn't just said those words lightly and needed some time to herself. She wasn't the only one who felt that way. And that was what was upsetting Jorgie.
I really thought that I was going to be right and Lynne was going to gratefully accept. But she didn't. For once, she responded very quickly and with a firm shake of her head, keeping her little girl on her hip but not too close to her. She had started to quieten down from glancing between the two women.
"No, no, I really couldn't ask you to do that." Lynne responded almost breathlessly and now that she was in the company of another woman – James' other woman – she began to feel very overwhelmed. And not because of reasons that you might think. To tell you the truth, she wanted to break down. She wanted advice. She needed a helping hand. But she feared it was out of place to ask or even want either of those things. My conclusions were soon made apparent to Jessie as Lynne shook her head once again. "You don't have to do that for me. You're probably here to ask me what I've done to piss off your man. I am so sorry."
Jorgie was the child of both James and Lynne. Even at the age of a baby, she was soft and thoughtful and clever like her mother. And like her father, she was mysterious and placid and charming. Like them both, she was rather comical. She possessed comedic timing. She also possessed the ability to go from one mood to another rather quickly like her Daddy. And she showed this by suddenly cheering up and her voice humorously gasping when her mother said a bad word.
Lynne barely noticed for once but Jessie did. I did. Jessie smirked, but she took the time to speak to the orange haired female instead. She took the time to correct her as well.
"Our man, yes." She began and the orange haired woman from 'up there' blinked, not quite understanding what she was getting at, at first. She really was very confused. Jessie didn't hesitate to continue, still running her fingers through her hair with one hand and holding her water bottle with the other. "Our man. I came to ask you about James. To tell you the truth, I have come wondering what exactly has gone on between you two. He hasn't come out of his room or spoken to anyone in a good few hours now."
I found it interesting how when I first met them, Jessie and James were some of the most conniving and untruthful people that I knew. But they had developed. And they had changed. Perhaps that side of them was always inside them, but they got mixed up along the way. Who knows? I just knew that in that moment and at that point in their lives, they were very honest and straight forward people. They told the truth. But I didn't have time to dwell on that any further. Lynne spoke hurriedly once again. She apologised.
"I am so sorry." She almost groaned and showed much of her orange haired second to youngest daughter by beginning to bury her head in one of her hands while Jorgie tilted her head from her hip. She was starting to get confused again. Lynne breathed out, lines appearing on her forehead with slight shame. Her shoulders slumped. "I didn't mean to upset him. I didn't intentionally do anything but he was getting upset and I was getting upset seeing him upset. And then seeing me upset made him even more so. I-"
Jorgie's nose was beginning to crinkle with sadness listening to her mother tell the truth also and both Jessie and her listened to Lynne suddenly come to a stop in her sentences. She stopped herself completely. She stopped herself abruptly. And then she groaned all over again, shaking her head at herself once more. She seemed to sniff from overwhelmed feelings.
"No, I shouldn't be talking to you about this. It's weird. He's yours as well. You don't need to hear about our relationship problems. And you most certainly don't need to fix them either."
Jessie remained quiet for a few moments and instead of focusing her attention on Lynne, she looked at Jorgie. The little girl almost hesitated looking at her but soon she blinked her eyes at her, her eyelashes fluttering. Even the magenta haired female could feel herself softening. She took a quiet but deep breath before moving closer to Lynne. She shrugged. She remained rarely silent for a few more moments before finally breaking it. She shook her head.
"You… It's okay." Jessie began and her own shoulders moved but hers were as she finally settled on words to say. After pausing yet another time, she lightly rested her hand on Lynne's knee as her legs were folded beneath her. Jorgie was then on the floor on front of them, looking between both the interesting hair coloured females. She scrunched her nose up and listened to Jessie continuing. "I've been in stranger situations, believe me. So would you just tell me what has happened? Please?"
That time, it was Lynne's turn to hesitate. She had wanted and needed someone to talk to – preferably a female – and she had received that. But despite the fact that it was what she wanted, she still felt like it was betrayal in some strange way.
She knew that not many people thought of her like that but sometimes she worried that she was viewed as 'the other woman'. And she didn't want to prove or feed those remarks by doing something over the line and talking about her issues with James with his wife while she was his girlfriend. She had been on earth plenty of times to know about girl code. And she didn't want to break it.
Like Jessie had done before her, Lynne turned to her daughter for hints on what to do. Jorgie didn't hesitate to give it to her. Jorgie didn't hesitate to look at her. She fixed her meadow coloured eyes on her mother and pouted her lips. She then let out another whimper, her eyes pooling with tears with passion. I knew they were of such. I knew they were because she wanted Lynne to open up to Jessie in the hope that they would work together in getting her Daddy to cuddle her all over!
But Jessie read the little girl's expressions wrong. She watched her get upset all over again and thought it was out of confusion, rather than proving how strongly she felt about something.
It would have been a lie to say that the magenta haired female had always been okay with the idea and the existence of the little girl. When she was born, she was overjoyed. But when she was conceived, it bought a lot of shock and forgotten feelings up for her. Of course it did. Her husband was having a baby with another woman.
But she knew that she loved James. She knew that she loved him so much, not just as her husband and the father of her children but as a person too. She wanted to be selfless. She wanted him to be happy. The love between Jordan and Lynne and then James and Lynne without even being intimate taught her so many things about unconditional love. It taught her so much about pure love. She knew it was pure love to allow her husband to have a girlfriend and a child with that girlfriend too. And in the end, she was happy to give all of those things her blessings. Of course she was. That was what true love was all about. And that was exactly what she and James shared. True love.
Jessie had very much taken it in her stride being an 'Auntie' to her husband's new baby. She had seen her since birth and watched her too. She knew what she liked and she knew what she disliked almost as much as her parents. She knew that, like her mother and her 'Uncle' Jordan, she had a fascination with water.
She loved her baths. She loved waterfalls. She loved the sound of the tap. She loved it all. She loved water bottles. She was fascinated by them. So Jessie didn't hesitate to give the half-filled water bottle that she was holding to the little girl.
I couldn't help but feel some of my concern going away at that point and softening with warmth instead. Lynne felt the same way. She stopped trying to bury her head in her hand and briefly rested it over her heart instead. Jorgie was overjoyed as soon as she spotted the bottle properly, let alone when she got to hold it.
Soon enough, she held it in both her tiny fits and for the first time since her father had gone into hiding, she let out a squeal of joy. She shut her eyes tight with happiness and tried to kiss it. She was happy. She was content. And she was distracted. And because of this, the two women could finally crack on with talking.
Lynne remained hesitant at first and began playing with her hair unsurely, even though Jessie had insisted that it was okay and she wanted to know because she wanted to see what she could do. Lynne was still unsure. But Jessie was certain. And she showed this by moving closer to Lynne once more and even reaching out to stroke her hair herself.
The orange haired female was shocked at first. But then she was touched. And then she was enlightened. She and James had been together for two years at that point. So she realised that it really was okay for her to open up to Jessie about her relationship with him and what had happened. So she did. Lynne got started. She got started with a quiet sigh.
"Nothing actually happened between me and James today. And nothing has happened between us for a while. We've been great. But he had a bad day. I didn't realise it until he broke down to me. I reacted completely emotionally. I was so afraid. I was so scared. I just didn't want him to go back to drinking or smoking or something. I know that he wouldn't. But like him, I was overwhelmed. And I didn't know what to do."
Jessie listened patiently and quietly and I did too. But unlike her, I couldn't help but frown. I looked back behind me while I looked back in my mind. I tried to think. I tried to think back. Ignorantly, I thought that he had had a perfectly pleasant day.
The Morgan Family and the Ketchum Family and the Williams Family had all gone to the beach. And we had all had a very lovely time. Or at least, that's what I thought. Or at least, I had had a very lovely day.
The sun had shone. The waves had been delightful. The sand had been soft underneath our feet. The ice creams had been refreshing. The laughs had been hearty. In my mind, it had been a wonderful time. And it unsettled me to think that I had missed something. But I had a stroke of luck by my confusion soon being eased by Jessie.
She broke her silence and she nodded her head. She spoke words and she spoke of her own observations as she began absentmindedly plaiting Lynne's hair for her.
"I could see him getting a bit worried. I knew he was getting a bit worried, I could tell. He was laughing it off - Jorgie being all clingy and strapped to his chest even in the heat – but I knew that something was bugging him. You mustn't worry about it though, either of you. She's just teething. She's not very good in the heat. She-"
"It's not just that." Lynne interrupted Jessie. Now that the orange haired female had started opening up to the magenta haired one, she was quickly starting to feel like she was talking to a friend rather than James' wife. She liked talking to her. She needed to talk to her. And she needed to express her worries to her too. She shook her head at herself, explaining. "It's more than that. I can tell that he's really upset by something and really worried about it. Maybe it was brought on by a clingy Jorgie but it's far more than that. Can't you feel it? We both love him. We always know."
Lynne really was beginning to get bolder. She started off being a bit nervous and dithery but after a while, she openly reminded Jessie that they were both in love with the same man. And it blew my mind every time when Jessie just nodded and accepted it as fact. She really was okay with it. Everybody wants to get to that level of self-security. They really do.
The magenta haired female nodded her head but she didn't speak for a few moments. She was thinking about Lynne's words. She was really thinking of them. While Jorgie sucked on the water bottle lid and looked angelically between the two women, her expression contrasting the fact that she (unintentionally - she was a nine month old baby) caused a bit of tension and upset between her parents and especially her father.
Jessie remained quiet and thoughtful but soon enough, she had an answer for the orange haired female. She let out a sigh and showed off a shrug and continued plaiting her hair. She even gave little Jorgie a tiny, fond smile when she hiccupped against her water bottle. She spoke openly and calmly. She was another of our group that had really come a long way.
"I get the feeling that maybe he's scared – he's definitely overwhelmed – by the fact that Jorgie was so clingy today. I think that he's worried that maybe a time will come when you go back up and she might have to go with you and she'll be away from him and crying and he won't even know about it. He won't be able to do anything about it. He won't be able to comfort her. It'll be down to you. And you'll have to try and soothe a baby who doesn't know where they are or where their father has got to."
A lump quickly filled Lynne's throat when she heard this and her ocean blue orbs pricked with tears. She held a sad hand over her heart and looked at Jorgie, who, despite the fact the two women were talking about her in a very heavy way, was twiddling her little feet and cuddling her water bottle. She was unaffected. She was completely unaffected. But I wasn't. I felt pain in my heart rather prominently.
When I thought about it, it was rather cruel. It was rather cruel that perhaps, one day, Jorgie would be without a mother or a father for a prolonged amount of time. And she may even be without both if she had to go back 'up there' alone seeing as she was a half-angel. I just didn't know. They just didn't know. Nobody knew. There were a million and one possibilities. But what we all knew and what we all agreed on - was that they'd just have to all hold onto each other while they had each other. And that was kind of like what it's like for everyone in the world. But nobody thinks of that too often.
Lynne most definitely felt some tears coming but like the ex-rocketeer female often did, she held them in. She sniffed them back and tried to be strong. Her face was filled with obvious emotion and pain but she didn't let her eyes water. She simply didn't. She simply couldn't. Not yet.
"Oh poor James, I feel so bad for him." Lynne sniffed a second time and found herself resting her head lightly against Jessie's shoulder. The other female didn't react at first but soon enough, her hand went to her kneecap once again. And that time, it was more than just briefly. Lynne shut her eyes for a while too. She swallowed. "If you are right – which I think you probably are – I wish he had just told me. Or told anyone. He's making it far worse for himself shutting himself up alone. I understand it might hurt to see Jorgie right now but he should see someone. You, his other kids – anyone. He must be so sad."
"It is so sad, Lynne." Jessie spoke to the woman from 'up there' and she mixed things up a bit by responding to her quickly and promptly rather than quietly and hesitantly like before. She obviously had things on her mind that she wanted to say. And she didn't put off saying them as soon as she thought them. "It is sad. You having Jorgie is a wonderful thing but sometimes it is sad. It's sad how you have to hear all these opinions from people. Like how she might not have a mother or a father around sometimes and how she might feel like she never truly belongs down here and how confusing it must be for her. And it's even worse when those people's comments are partly right. It's horrible when they might come true. But it's the worst of all when you both feel that worry and pain in your hearts. I wish you didn't have to."
I nodded my head slowly and in agreement at the same time that Lynne did. She nodded her head rather forlornly, her eyes still closed and her head still rested against Jessie's shoulder. She inhaled and exhaled silently but deeply. Her chest rose and fell. She really did feel so sad. But she didn't want to. She wanted her little girl and her little family to be a happy thing. It was. But like what everybody went through, sometimes something incredibly happy could also be incredibly sad.
The orange haired female let out another sniff, still leaning on the other female for support. For both physical and emotional.
"I just feel so powerless, I really do. And I feel like quite a lot of the time, not that I ever really express it. I always have. Maybe I always will." Lynne spoke and Jessie listened. I did too. I was still very much there, on the sofa and listening. But I was in the background. I was okay with it. I was okay that I wasn't in the foreground. It was their moment. It was their moment that both of those two women needed. "I felt powerless with Jordan. He could get so sad and even though he believed that I could, I could never really truly do anything to help him. And the same with James. I'm powerless when he shuts me out. I'm powerless when it comes to our little girl too. She might not see her Daddy sometimes. She might not see me sometimes. She might not see either of us sometimes. I knew this when I fell pregnant with her but now I feel it even more so. I don't want to regret our little baby. I don't regret our little baby. But why does it feel like one day I might have to?"
That was it. That was the thing that pushed Lynne over the edge. She couldn't hold back her tears anymore. She broke into quiet and slow but deep and heartfelt sobs. Her shoulders barely moved. Her chest barely moved. She barely moved. But she felt every inch of deep pain and emotion in her head and heart. She tried to move to bury her head in Jessie's chest but the magenta haired female didn't let her. She didn't like her shutting herself away. She didn't let her shut away like James.
Maybe it was the wrong thing to do but she made Lynne look at her. She held onto her but she made her sit up by herself and after she had had a few minutes of crying, she made her look at her. Maybe it was the wrong thing to do at first, but it turn out being such a right thing to do. Jessie shook her head at Lynne. She told her firmly but with all the care in the world. Both her hands went to both of her shoulders. And she told her the truth.
"Don't you ever feel like you have to regret her, okay? Just don't. Just don't you dare. Because… Because I don't. I never have. And I never will." Jessie's sentences to Lynne started off firm but as she told her the vulnerable truth, they started to grow slightly shaky. Lynne sniffed and her innocent eyes went wide as she listened. She swallowed. Jessie continued, regaining her strength and her perseverance.
"That little girl is a gift. She never needs to be regretted. I can't tell you what's going to happen with her. No one can. I can't tell you what's going to happen with you and James. No one can. But still. You must embrace every minute. You must welcome every second with your little girl. The good, the bad, the ugly and the beautiful. That is your journey. That is your journey together. That is your story. You are lucky to have her. You're lucky to have each other. And I'm lucky to have you all. Enjoy your story together and where it leads to. No matter where it leads to."
I swallowed rather loudly and nobody heard but Jorgie. She mimicked me. Lynne gulped as well but hers was because she felt the need to do it, rather than because she heard either of us. It was a lot to absorb. It was a lot to process. It was a lot to accept. But Lynne soon thought about it. I seemed to be heavy and complicated but then she realised, maybe it wasn't.
Maybe she was making it complicated. Maybe James was making it complicated. Maybe even little Jorgie was. Jessie was right and she knew that she was right. Lynne didn't know it about herself but she was definitely one of the few people who possessed true unconditional love in her heart. James had said that about her from the beginning.
It pained her that she didn't know where she, her daughter and her James would end up. It confused her. It baffled her. It gave her pain. But it was their pain. It was their bewilderment. And it was their confusion. It was their story. And they all had to embrace it. No matter where it lead to. They had to hold onto each other while they still had one another. They had to love one and other while they were capable of loving each other. And they would always love each other. Because they wanted to. Because they needed to. Their story was loving each other. And they would feel those emotions, for all of the chapters ahead. And every single day.
Lynne had a lot to process. I did too. Jessie did as well, even though she had said the words that had let to all the thought provocation. Even little Jorgie did too – even though she was continuing to smile and play with her water bottle, surprisingly chipper despite all the emotions that were being brought to light in front of her.
And despite all of the words that Lynne heard that day, some of them in particular stuck out in her mind. Some very particular ones made her feel very happy and very glad and very light, despite all that they were going through. Even though Jessie had pushed her away before, the orange haired female soon turned to cuddle into her all over again. And she smiled. At first, she smiled secretively but then she smiled openly. She wrinkled she nose. She looked up at Jessie. And she smiled.
Somehow, she didn't need to say anything and the magenta haired female didn't either. Like I only just mentioned before, the first time, Jessie pushed Lynne away. But that was because she needed to feel her own strength in her own heart. The second time, she didn't need to help Lynne do that. Instead, it was time to both have their own strength and share it with each other.
The magenta haired female let her husband's girlfriend hug onto her and slowly but surely, her arms wrapped around her too. She held her as well. Both those women were hugging. Both James' women were hugging. Soon enough, all of James' girls were hugging. Jorgie crawled over to them as best as she could and hugged onto them while still hugging her water bottle. And it was beautiful.
Their hug said it all. Their hug said everything that needed to be said. As Lynne's arms wrapped around Jessie, she thanked her for everything. She thanked her for listening. She thanked her for allowing her to be so close to James. But most importantly, she thanked her for being her friend. She wasn't just James' girlfriend. She wasn't just James' other girl. She was Lynne. She was a friend. And she was appreciated for simply being her.
As Jessie's arms wrapped around Lynne back, she thanked her for a lot of things too. She thanked her for making her husband so happy. She thanked her for making her children so happy. But truthfully, one of the most important things she thanked her for was making her so happy. She had taught her a lot, without even trying to. She taught her about love. She taught her about family. She taught her about strength. She taught her everything she needed to know about being strong. And she appreciated her for being her own strong but sweet self. And not just because she was special to her husband. But she was special to her too. There didn't need to be competition between them. There really didn't. There was no need for it. There was only need for love and admiration. And that was what they both had for each other.
And last but not least, Jorgie had some thanks to feel as well. She thanked them both. She thanked both of the older females. But first and foremost, she thanked her mother. Because despite what they went through together and the courage it took to carry her only to possibly not be around her all the time, she knew that she was loved. She knew that she was appreciated. She knew that she was treasured. She didn't know what would become of her. She didn't know what would become of her family. Of course she didn't, she was nine months old!
But she embraced every second of it. She embraced every minute of it. She embraced every nose touch that she got with her Mother. And she embraced every occasion that she got to embrace her father's chest. Of course she did. That was her happy place. And it would always be her happy place. It didn't matter if it was there for her to lie on or it wasn't. She would always be happy knowing that that love came from the beating heart that was underneath it. She would always be content knowing that she belonged to her parents. She would always be everything that she was meant to be, knowing that she was theirs.
The End.
There you go! Thanks for reading and I hope you enjoyed :3 When I wrote this, I thought it was one of my favourites that I've ever written but looking back, it doesn't resonate with me as strongly. But that's okay. It still focuses on important stuff. I think a lot of people would think that with Jessie's personality in the anime, she would be very jealous of Lynne and couldn't deal with James having someone other than her. But even though I don't write about it all that much, after this point, she's definitely gone through a lot of stuff to change the way she thinks and feels. People like Gary and Cameron help her heal from her past and Jordan and Lynne's love for each other teach her a lot about unconditional love without even trying to. She realises that she loves James as a person. Not as her husband or the father of her children - just as him. And this allows him to truly follow his heart in every way. He feels the same for her and will always wants whats best for her. Without even forcing it, Lynne is someone who is very good for her. Jessie witnessing Lynne strongly but calmly go through life not dwelling too much on pain and always being kind to people no matter what influences her more than she'd ever say. They're both very different women. But I think they feel in very similar ways. Even though one often finds it easier to show that than the other :P Thanks again for reading and I will be back next Wednesday so see you then!
AmyBieberKetchum signing out :3