Hello :P It is Wednesday and I am back with a new chapter. At the end of last year I had a feeling that I would tackle JJ loads this year and go more into the details of him as well as touching yet again on his family situation. I've written a good few times about how he is the miscarried child of Ash and Misty but being raised by Jordan and Lynne, as well as the emotions that come with that. So this chapter being about JJ and Eli - who is the new character who came out of the blue and am focusing a lot on instead - is kind of funny to me. It touches on a lot of things and a lot of things I surely will tackle in the future. So I hope you enjoy :3
Disclaimer: I own the stories and the OCs mentioned!
I didn't think much of it when Eli entered the room and though I lifted my head and gave him a nonchalant smile whether he caught it or not, soon enough I went back to what I was doing. I resumed sitting close to JJ's side while he used that great telescope of his to turn his head and his attention also to the great skies above. However, when after that I turned that nonchalant smile to be for him instead, and I heard his absentminded mutterings to himself as he concentrated, I turned my attention back to Jordan's cousin. And I watched him take a seat in the middle of the sofa band reach for the television remote.
He was dressed much more casually and even a lot scruffier than could sometimes be the norm for him but that didn't capture my attention in particular. He was entitled to lounge wear and lounge days too! In between being close to JJ's side and comforted by his subconscious mumbles, I looked at the way that Eli used the remote and pointed it towards the television screen and then when he found the channel that he was looking for, both of his hands slid into the wide front pockets of his black hoodie.
Though he had his hood up and it concealed a good chunk of his face, I could see those famous wide and earnest eyes of his widening all the more as the show began and his orbs went between intensely focused and flickering side to side. But despite the fact that his gaze could be faltering at times, he was very much taking in what was happening on the television screen opposite him.
And it was then that I turned my attention back to JJ all over again. I began to find myself thinking it a bit odd that the orange haired teenage boy of all people hadn't even reacted to someone else entering the room at all, let alone turning their body or attention to their family member in any way, shape or form.
But after not much time at all I shrugged it off. I gathered that it was an indicator of how well Eli had slotted himself into our group. And addition to that, Eli was indeed family to JJ and I supposed that they found themselves acting that way with one and other very quickly indeed.
So instead of divulging in any more observations on that matter and instead of joining the deep violet haired male on the sofa also and getting engrossed in the documentary which was a fascinating view for him, I rested my cheek even closer to the side of JJ's arms and carried on trying to find constellations with him.
It had been a bit of an uneventful occasion thus far. With Jordan and Lynne being in bed to watch one of the yellow haired male's own beloved preference for entertainment and Morgan in her bedroom doing her own thing, it was a perfect occasion for the orange haired teenage boy to focus on outwards together – and try and spot anything particularly intriguing.
But although the occasion was perfect for it and the skies were nice and clear indeed for the month of October, we didn't seem to be getting anywhere at all. In fact, JJ didn't seem to be getting anywhere at all. I had been the one to point out the constellations and marvel, and encourage Jordan and Lynne's son to check them off of his list.
Though he had muttered out the words "nice job, Pikachu" and offered me sincere praise indeed, his tone was a little off. It was unusual for him to be so mundane about that sort of thing. And in addition to this, it was unusual for him to be the second person to spot anything!
Almost as if he too had been reminded of those moments before during that moment that we were then in, JJ pulled away from peering his brown coloured eye into one end of the telescope and he rubbed that same eye from underneath his glasses, his shoulders slumping a tad more. He let out another mumble – that one far more incomprehensible than the last. But I think that that was okay, because I gathered that he wasn't exactly talking to me anyway.
JJ was about to stop rubbing his eyes and take another peer into the telescope when a fixed frown took over his face. Turning my attention outwards, it was quick to gather what it was that was causing his eyelid to subtly twitch. I turned my focus away from the orange haired teenage boy and back to Eli.
In the process of me doing my thinking, the deep violet haired male had not only moved forward eagerly (albeit casually) on the sofa but his eyes had become a lot more fixed on the screen also. As well as this, at some point he had turned the volume up and as the rock band on the television belted out a long and impressive tune in between being interviewed, it really became noticeable there and then.
I glanced at JJ out of the corner of my eye and saw that he had gone back to trying to focus outwards but couldn't help but notice that it really was beginning to get on his nerves. Part of me was inclined to wonder why because he wasn't usually the type to complain about noise – particularly jovial one. But then once again, I shrugged it off. I put it down to the fact that he was concentrating and it was reaching late in the evening at that point and it was a school night too. Perhaps JJ put his own irritation towards that as well.
I pulled away from the orange haired glasses wearing teenage boy just a fraction to gather what Eli was up to as well and when I soon enough observed that he wasn't up to much other than staring very wide eyed and transfixed at the television, I turned my attention back to JJ at the same time that he pulled away from the telescope all over again.
That time his hand moved upwards towards his face, he rubbed his forehead rather than his eyes. And it was almost as soon as he did this that he felt that he needed to turn his own attention and body towards Eli. And it was because that he wasn't strictly going to greet him that the orange haired teenage boy felt evidently bad about it. He hesitated doing so but eventually he came out with it and it was proven to be a valid thing from the way that he had to half raise his voice over the crowd on the TV applauding a vigorous performance.
"Hey Eli." JJ uttered initially as a way to get his father's cousin's attention rather than say hello to him. I imagined that the deep violet haired male was going to briefly flicker his gaze to the younger male and offer him a wave back before going back to his entertainment – thinking that JJ's words were a way of a hello. But they were not. And Eli didn't even hear him. After letting out a sigh, the dual orbed teenage boy had to try again, turning his body all the more towards the male watching television. "Hey Eli. Do you mind turning that down just a little bit? Or would it be better for me to just give up what I'm doing?"
I gave JJ a slow, lingering and sideways glance. I kept it to myself that fact that I was the one who was doing what we were doing the most! And in addition to that, I was the one succeeding.
That time that Eli was spoken to, the deep violet haired male caught on and heard a little bit but it was evident that he hadn't heard enough or barely any at all. That was a shame, really, because the teenage boy had been very polite about it.
The man from Unova's face merely became revealed as he tugged his black hood away from his face and his chiselled jaw jutted out, his eyes widening in a wordless indication for the younger male to repeat what he was saying. JJ managed to withhold a sigh, and then he thought about rambling through his words a second time. He soon decided against it and instead did a gesture with his hands that he hoped would convey everything that he was asking – and wondering – without having to say anything at all.
It was lucky that those wide and interestingly blended eyes of Eli's were more than an endearing quality to his person. Those eyes were very observational too. It became clear that he had very much caught on to JJ's message from the way that he didn't hesitate to (almost hurriedly and clumsily) tug both of his hands out of his hoodie front pocket and reach for the remote, promptly turning the volume down a good few notches.
Jordan and Lynne's son breathed out a sigh of relief when Eli seemed willing to be asked what to do and then he joined him in continuing not to say anything either. The orang haired teenage boy still gave his relative a polite and grateful close mouthed smile though and then intended to go back to what he was doing.
And as I moved away from JJ a little more, I thought about the fact that although Eli had been very quick to turn down the volume of his special programme, he had been completely enamoured with it and that didn't change even when he had to quieten down a bit. And then after the younger male prepared to get stuck into what he was doing before (or trying to do what he usually liked to do), Eli's gaze became all the more flickering all over again. And I got the impression that the deep violet haired male was starting to observe his cousin's son rather than his rock heroes.
It was easy to feel a little bit under the microscope when it came to Eli's intense yet well intentioned gaze and I found myself feeling a little on edge even though I knew that I wasn't the one that was the source of his focus. Perhaps a little selfishly, I hoped that JJ was going to do something a little more interesting and extroverted so Eli could focus on him all the more – rather than spinning his attention to me!
And there and then, that silly little wish came true because it seemingly was meant to. JJ only got his eye about an inch or so away from the telescope all over again when he suddenly groaned and rubbed his forehead all over again and that time, his noises were not being kept to himself. They were very much for everyone to hear. Not that he realised it, I don't think.
JJ didn't seem to notice at all that he had let a frustrated noise escape his lip and he shut those dual coloured eyes of his instead and rested his chin on the end of his telescope.
I saw it coming and I sensed it coming and I felt it coming because I did not have closed eyelids but it soon made me jump. So goodness knows how JJ felt. As the orange haired teenage boy mumbled to himself some more and potentially silently and inwardly willed himself to continue, he then opened his eyes all over again. And it was as soon as his eyelids flickered open that Eli suddenly seemed to be standing there and right next to him!
Needless to say, JJ jumped. His hands moved to clutch the earpieces of his glasses as an expression of fright and method of comfort as his father's cousin was all of a sudden right by his side. I watched as Eli barely even reacted at all to making the younger male startle and then when his black hoodie hood remained lulling over his back rather than his face, I noticed how dark his hair was as it clung to the sides and the top of his head. I wondered if one of the strings of his hoodie were going to brush JJ and tickle him as Eli leaned closer.
"It not going well?" Eli asked him directly and he spoke a little louder than usual out of trying to drown out the sound of the television playing as well as trying to hide how much he had been enjoying what he was watching. The deep violet haired male blinked those eyes of his when he didn't get a reaction from JJ and because he assumed that it was his turn to not be heard, he repeated. "Is it not going well? Your star gazing?"
For a good couple of moments, JJ continued not saying anything at all and holding onto the ear pieces of his glasses as he recovered from being acceptably ignored by the dark violet haired male to being spoken to very directly. I had the time in fact to hop onto the sofa that Eli had previously been sitting on and turn down the volume a little more. I hoped that he didn't mind. Apart from turning his head over his shoulder to observe then what I was doing, he didn't seem to.
Jordan's cousin turned his full attention back to speaking to the teenage boy and he was almost threatening to have an intrigued smirk at what was taking him so long before everything seemed to catch up with the orange haired teenage boy.
He shook his head quickly by way of an apology for not answering him straight away and he finally let his fingers slip away from holding onto his glasses. Though he furrowed his brow and swallowed, he answered truthfully enough. At the same time that he did this, he flopped backwards in his chair and pressed his back against the rear and removed his glasses from his eyes completely.
"Not at all. It's all very foggy." JJ began and perhaps because Eli had waited a good few moments for an answer, Jordan's cousin was unusually quick to carry on the conversation and jolt into action. Tugging his hoodie sleeves further up his wrist to reveal tanned arms, Eli invited himself for a peer into the telescope himself.
At first he nodded his head as he believed that he understood what the problem was and prepared to discover some sort of stickiness on the lens, blocking out any hope of seeing something new. Then when the view was perfectly clear to him and with JJ watching silently, he tugged on the length of the telescope to look at the other lens of that also. Both ends were perfectly clear. There wasn't a fog of any kind that could be seen.
Eli suddenly understood. Or so he thought. You see, despite having round and observant eyes and a quiet interest in human beings and a massive affinity for a few of them also, he didn't always catch onto everything straight away if at all. Thinking that he knew exactly what he was going to uncover, the deep violet haired male rested his hand lightly on JJ's shoulder and he peered forward, moving closer to the window.
And as he peered outwards and looked upwards, he saw a bright and luminous full moon beaming down at us. He saw a bright and luminous full moon beaming down at him. There was no fog on the lenses. There was no fog outside. The orange haired teenage boy let out a quiet sigh and placed his glasses back on the bridge of his nose, his hair flopping over his eyes. And it was there and then that I had observed something wrong about Eli's observations.
He had had it figured out from the beginning – he just wanted to act in certain ways to see if JJ was going to reveal himself all by himself but he had not. No amount of surprising coaxing from the older male worked so he had to do it all himself.
The deep violet haired male decided to crouch down on the floor next to the orange haired teenage boy with his hand still on his shoulder and this was quite funny really because it made his short stature all the more noticeable. Eli peered up at his cousin's son. It was JJ's turn to have flickering eyes. A nonchalant and understanding yet not cocky smile took over Eli's face and made his expression seem defined yet soft all in one. After a subtle head tilt, the older male eventually spoke.
"Sometimes there can be fogginess not with the eyes or the tools but indeed the mind instead." Eli began and almost as soon as he said these words, he made a light slapping sound with his hand against JJ's shoulder. Before the teenage boy could furrow his brow upon hearing these vague words or he could look away, stubbornly denying the very idea of what was being said, Eli added. "What's up, kid?"
I felt a sudden wave of admiration for Eli when in my own mind I thought to myself how he had been so enamoured in his television show and had probably been waiting all day for it as well but still picked up on JJ's underlying quietness and directly asked him to talk about it too. That was arguably more than I had done. But we had different approaches and that was fine.
I too had sensed it within JJ myself but we had the sort of relationship where I didn't need to pry and JJ knew that he could talk to me about anything. Anything. He certainly had done exactly this the "older" that he had become.
But maybe it was lucky to have people around like Eli who were – despite being highly observant and deep thinkers and interested in what made the cogs turn so to speak in person to person – they just straight up asked what was going on. And it was at that point that I realised that maybe I should have been the one to do that for the orange haired teenage boy from the way that he sighed like things were about to come bubbling up out of him and he quickly answered his older relative.
"It's all very foggy. It's all very foggy indeed. But it's nothing to worry about. I'm sure it'll pass." The orange haired boy spoke matter of factly and he repeated some of his prior words. As well as this, as soon as he had said them, he shook his head, causing his locks to flop over his face a second time and he prepared to stand up.
My eyes widened just a little bit as there was something very final about JJ's words and almost no wish for anything else to be said on the matter. That was rare for him. That was very rare indeed. He was a very passionate sort of person who enjoyed long conversations and even about complicated things. Even about complicated emotions that he was experiencing.
And there was something in that finality and that stubborn certainty that potentially resonated with Eli. That became a little clearer from the way that although JJ stood up, the older male was determined to keep his hand on his shoulder. And because of this, the short Unovan male that was Eli was forced to stand up with him. The deep violet haired male focused on him harder. Wordlessly, Eli shook his head. Wordlessly, he tried to encourage the younger male to face up to what was whirring in his brain.
JJ was unusually reluctant. He insisted.
"It will pass, Eli." The orange haired teenage boy uttered and despite the fact that it was his words that time that had a great deal of finality, his tone certainly did not. It wavered, in fact. His voice wavered. JJ looked down at Eli's hand on his shoulder for just a fraction of a second and then he moved away from him entirely, coming to sit down next to me instead.
I knew straight away that Jordan and Lynne's son was not rejecting the caring nature of the older male but he just felt a need to have some distance from him. I understood that even further when JJ took Eli's previous seat on the sofa and because I was there also, his fingers soon made their way to my fur for comfort.
I didn't break the distance between the two of us. I just allowed JJ's hand to be there – to be in my fur – because it clearly wanted to be there. And I soon enough believed it to be this distance on my part and the fact that in return, Eli took JJ's seat in front of his telescope and didn't push it any further, that it all came tumbling out of the young, orange haired male.
Well, a little bit of it did. And that was everything coming from a teenage boy who had begun to grow a little quieter as he figured out his place in that whole new world.
"I just… I just feel severely out of place, you know? School can be tough when you know a lot and so little in one." JJ began to explain some of his inward woes and I wondered if it was helping that although Eli nodded his head as he listened, those interestingly blended eyes of his focused on the images on the television instead and listened to the low volume. It didn't help me! I felt a little bit of dismay rising in my stomach. I had to let that pass to listen as JJ continued. "I thought it would get easier when revealed who I really am to people but apparently not. That presented its own set of issues. It's complicated. I know who I am. But not where I stand."
It was lucky that I was level-headed enough to let the dismay pass because if I hadn't and I had held onto a bit of a grudge then I would have missed the look that took over Eli's face as he turned back to look at the younger male. The sunken quality of his eyelids seemed to twitch and they appeared to brighten like JJ's words resonated with him. That was strange because his actual pupils didn't change much at all. Potentially he was just a very good listener. Or maybe he did relate to the words. The words just meant something different to him.
Eli managed to keep his focus on the younger male rather than the intriguing screen and after he had a moment of quiet to think about things, he then proceeded in a way that was almost very like Jordan. He contrasted his space-giving ways and removed himself from JJ's seat and came to approach him all over again. He did not take a seat next to him, though. Eli merely remained standing up and loomed (as much as a person of his height could) and folded his arms over his chest as he looked down at the younger, orange haired male.
He nodded his head a little more and puckered his lips, sucking them in a biting on them before he finally came out with words. Just one of his arms unfolded. His hand that was attached to that one arm gestured as he articulated himself.
"But you just gotta own that, JJ. And you just gotta have confidence." Eli began and it was JJ's turn to believe that this was all that he was going to be receiving from the deep violet haired male. On top of this, there was part of the orange haired teenage boy that suddenly thought that because this was such "generic" advice, Eli had not been listening at all and probably had been listening to the noises coming out of the telly instead. Jordan and Lynne's son threatened to have a few things to say about that! But thankfully, Jordan's cousin got his chance first. He continued. "There and be some fun in not knowing everything. And there can be a great deal of fun in people not knowing everything. Important too. If it's something that you know and only you know then no one can take it away from you."
I could feel JJ's inhalation of breath through his fingertips as he continued submerging them in my fur and I could feel the way that his body was reacting without even having to look at them. He was glad that he hadn't snapped at the older male but there was still part of him that felt like Eli didn't understand what he was getting at, at all. And he felt like a chunk of him didn't exactly understand Eli's point of view either.
Even so, more words came tumbling out like was often the case when you bottled things up or used yourself as your own rehearsed confidante.
"But people do know. People do know. Of course they do. They know it well. But it's just never spoken about." JJ articulated and after he got these words out, more of a frown took over his expression but it was also somehow a softer one too. His voice quietened down and evened out and it reminded me so much of my best friend Ash. Naturally, that made it even easier for me to listen as he added. "I hate that. I get treated like I'm coming so far and growing so much but clueless about that sort of thing too. I think I would know. I think I would know the truth. And I do. Which is why I've told most people."
I nodded my head as slowly as JJ was continuing to frown and it was there and then that I stopped myself from not breaking any distance and tilted my head closer to him, brushing my own fur against his fingertips. And as I did this, I looked at him. I really looked at him and his orange floppy hair and his glasses and his freckles. Most importantly, I looked at his eyes and found myself smiling. I found myself wanly smiling. I for one believed him. And I knew that his immediate family did too. It was just his peers who thought it might be too soon to tell.
JJ coming to the conclusion of his sexuality wasn't a secret in any sense. He told people that he wanted to tell and because in his few years with everyone on earth and such a positive experience over that sort of thing, he did exactly that. He had a good experience, really. It was welcomed. It was accepted. It was celebrated.
I came to learn that some of his friends – his close friends – that knew the secret of where he came from and why he didn't age and why he knew so much yet sometimes so little thought that he should beat around the bush. They believed him. They entirely believed him when he discovered things about his preference but didn't want him to rush things either.
They cared about him. He was still adapting to being a teenager. They didn't want him to experience too much too quickly. They cared about him. Perhaps too much. It made him confused. Something he was so certain about suddenly felt like it needed to be a secret in ways he had never anticipated.
Eli listened and very much heard the words coming out of the orange haired teenage boy's mouth and his being also, but what happened in the moments following those ones made it apparent that the deep violet haired male thought that it was another kind of secret. One that he observed in not only the orange haired male but a couple of his family members also.
Jordan's cousin shuffled closer to JJ as he sat on the floor but he still didn't get too close. And he didn't make a scene about it. All of a sudden, he was just saying more words himself. They were words that he had said before. But he believed them so he wanted to address them all over again.
"But it's like I say, little dude. You have to own that. Other people are going to say what they're going to say but it doesn't have to influence any of what you think about yourself. If you know what's what then that's something to celebrate." Eli insisted and though JJ still felt as though the deep violet haired male's words were standard advice, he understood that he was lingering on the same point of view so was obviously certain about it. And the acceptance coming from his father's cousin even though they had never really spoken about that sort of thing made JJ's mouth twitch into a smile. The words that came next made this happen all the more so. "You can say it to me, if you like. And you can own it. More people understand than you think, buddy. They can get a sense for this sort of thing. And I'm no different."
I didn't share JJ's twitching and oncoming smile and bashful head tilt as he heard these words but I was glad to have that sort of reaction from the orange haired teenage boy. And I figured that although JJ and Eli didn't exactly open up about that sort of thing then the deep violet haired male most likely had picked up on what had been running through JJ's mind as he properly discovered himself.
Despite wearing a black hoodie and having an introverted and reserved persona on for that day, Eli could also be a very suave gentleman with a lot of passions and likes and interests. He was strongly interested in music and had an equally large passion for it. In addition to this, he loved all kinds of musicians and in particular the flamboyant ones. He loved the theatrics. He loved the flair. He loved the non-conforming and quite simply not giving a damn!
He had an admiration for all kinds of people. Some of whom identified exactly or in their own way to the word that JJ had chosen for himself.
So it became easy for me to gather that Eli probably had sensed that sort of thing within the younger male, even if he didn't want to marginalise him or stereotype him. I had no idea at all that Eli had picked up on something else entirely about him and that was something that not only did he share with he himself but a lot of the other Williams' family members and Ketchum's too.
"I feel weird about it." JJ interrupted my train of thought by admitting, trying to hide away that bashful expression of his and that became easier and easier as he realised that he was going to potentially say yet again the words that his peers had advised against. The orange haired teenage boy hurriedly added. "These things can be quite momentous for some people but they've always been really casual for me mostly. It feels strange."
The deep violet haired male nodded his head like he understood and though he too didn't smile, the whites of his eyes were very much visible and his gaze focused on the younger male. As his well-paced head nod changed to just one more lingering one, he uttered some words in response. His wrists had stopped being on display and grew hidden inside his black sleeves.
"We'll say it at the same time and together, maybe? I'll say it to you. You say it to me. We'll both say the same thing about you. But it will be yours to own." Jordan's cousin suggested to the yellow haired male's son in an unusually certain way and the dual eye coloured boys bashfulness returned.
More slightly hurried actions became apparent. JJ slipped his hand out of my fur at last and slipped away from the sofa entirely also. He came to sit on the carpet right opposite his father's relative. He nodded shyly and his hair flopped over his face all over again but he was ready to reveal himself. And he showed that by soon enough pushing that flopping fringe out of his separately blue and brown coloured orbs.
"Okay." JJ agreed and he had to straighten out his sheepish smile all over again as he knelt in front of the older male, glancing at Eli and his hidden arms and hands also and absentmindedly tugging his own sweater further down over his own knuckles. "Okay."
JJ repeated the same word twice and Eli took notice of this before moving past it. It had been a slow and oncoming thing to get Jordan's son to talk to him like that but when it was happening he wanted to deal with it promptly and supportively. As well as this he didn't want him to lose his nerve. The truth was he wholeheartedly believed in JJ and knew that he could stand up the truth and turn it into what he wanted tomorrow to be.
"No hesitations. I'm going to say it to you now. And you're going to say it to me. Ready?" Eli gave JJ just one more chance to prepare and after the orange haired teenage boy nodded his head and had to use that head of his to flick his hair out of his eyes after, Eli's beady and intense yet calming eyes focused on the younger male.
He pursed his lips just once and because he hesitated just this one second, JJ found his voice first and he uttered them with Eli's words following just a millisecond afterwards.
"I'm gay." JJ uttered with certainty in his eyes and casualness in his voice. For some reason, the same exact qualities were found in Eli's own voice as he said with the same assurance.
"You're Ash and Misty's son." Eli stated. And I had to focus very hard indeed away from the ringing in my own ears that sounded after I heard these words to make absolutely certain that he had actually said what I believed that he had said.
JJ recoiled. JJ's eyes widened and he recoiled. From showing off a bashful yet level-headed and self-assured expression, a face of absolute bewilderment took over the orange haired teenage boy and all he could do was stare. All he could do was gape. Strangely, soon enough Eli had the exact same expression as well. But it was towards the other revelation that JJ had had.
I continued trying to ignore the intense ringing in my ears as Eli stated something that I also knew to be the truth and in between darting between the pair of them, I witnessed the deep violet haired male become completely taken aback by what JJ had said. But he was not surprised in an outward way. In fact, he possessed quite the blank look on his face that had shock underneath it and I put it down to him letting something extremely important and something extremely secret slip.
Eli's unmoving expression continued even as JJ finally found his voice all over again – it understandably hoarse – but he managed to splutter.
"H… H… How on earth do you know?" JJ was somehow able to croak out and I watched as Eli's tanned Unovan face grew very pale as for half a second he forgot what they were talking about. For once he was the one on the receiving end of intense stares and it made him feel very visible.
But showing that he was indeed a versatile man as much as his cousin was, he gulped himself and shook his own head. All he could do was utter completely truthfully. That was very natural to him.
"I just… know." Eli told JJ with a shrug like it was the most mundane thing in the world and I could tell that the deep violet haired male wanted to bite his lip to compose himself while the younger male tangled his fingers in his own locks. While he did this, I hopped down to the boy's side to be there for him. Goodness knows how he felt hearing those words be said back to him for the first time. Thinking about it put a lump in my throat as well as the realisation that it was something that other people were picking up on. Eli picked up on JJ's eyes that were beginning to water with betrayal and he added more honesty. "I wasn't told. I wasn't told by anyone. I just… know. How can I not… Look at you."
In that moment and there and then, JJ looked as if the last thing he wanted was to be looked at. Extremely understandably, he looked as if he wanted to bolt out of the door or soar into the sky with all of his favourite constellations. I could feel his body trembling and twitching and heaving as I stayed up close next to him. He squeezed his eyes tightly shut, unable to bare Eli's gaze even if it was kind and concerned after he dropped a bombshell on us all.
Then out came JJ's voice very thickly indeed.
"Everybody does look at me… They look at me and I think I don't know. But if you know, then how did they expect me not to figure things out…?" JJ muttered to get off of his own chest and for his own benefit most of all. The ringing in my ears continued. The trembling of JJ carried out. I knew why the truth had been hidden from JJ and how much of a painful decision it had been. It was an old wound that had barely been healed and was forced open all over again. By Eli no less. His level-headedness towards it all broke me in half and kept me together all in one. I near enough fell apart with the words that tumbled out of JJ next. "Why don't they want me…?"
It was very much indeed the truth that I knew why JJ was being raised by Jordan and Lynne and not his real parents – Ash and Misty – and it was equally true that everything had been done in the best interest of JJ. And JJ knew this. Though he had barely spoken to anybody about any of this, he knew why it was done and knew that he was wanted by all. And that was the problem.
I hiccupped quite loudly with the emotion of it all but no one really seemed to notice. My knees buckled. I think people noticed then. But Eli was too busy having a more outward approach to the younger male. The last thing he was going to let happen was the orange haired teenage boy feel unwanted.
"They do want you." Eli told JJ with more certainty in his fixed and sunken eyes than I had ever seen in my life and even though all the dark violet haired male did was clasp his hand around the younger haired male's kneecap, it seemed to keep him focused and present and fixed. I was impressed with JJ's ability to keep his eyes fixed on Eli. He could feel betrayed. He probably did feel betrayed. But there was truth oozing out. And it was more than he experienced ever before. I saw Jordan's cousin's fingers clutch him tighter as he added. "They do want you so much. And that's what I need you to remember. That's what I need you to remember."
And as Eli's eyes flickered just once in between talking to him, I understood that although he had seemingly brushed aside or even ignored JJ's outright sexuality affirmations, they were still on his mind and he wanted him to know that he was accepted and loved on both accounts. Eli didn't change his tactic and hold somewhere else. He just squeezed his knee. He came out with words at the same time that JJ whimpered.
"You are you, JJ. You are you. It doesn't matter which family you come from or which you feel as though you belong to because you fit into all. And to celebrate who you love and how you feel and how you identify is a mighty thing but that is all because it comes down to you. There is power in you." Eli took a quick break from speaking in which he tried not to focus on JJ's face too much and see the pooling of his eyes lest he break down. But both of his hands went to both of JJ's kneecaps instead. And he held them even tighter than ever as he concluded. "That is what will lead you to where you feel that you need to be. And where you feel you belong. The power is in you. You are wanted by all. Whoever you decide to be. Whatever your surname is. And that is the other thing to be celebrated most."
It was understandably one of the heaviest and most surprising and confusing days of JJ's life when he was made to understand that he was not crazy or had a silly little idea in his head and he knew the truth about himself and his family when Eli reassured him of such. But the words that escaped the deep violet haired male's cut through him that day and cut through to him also.
Of course there was going to be fogginess to come in both his journey to accept himself as a Williams and a Ketchum too as well as the young man that he wanted to become. But words were offered to him that day and if he took them and accepted them and listened to them then they could be wings that would make him fly. He could soar towards clarity. He could be authentic even if there was a part of him that was a secret – that's what Eli taught him.
Eli offered him something unexplainable that day and it wasn't just the truth. And it wasn't understanding every little thing of what he was going through either. It was understanding everything that JJ had because he didn't feel like he had any of that at all.
He didn't have a huge family behind him, wanting him and accepting him and fighting for him no matter who he was. But he would find that thanks to people like that orange haired teenage boy and his yellow haired father. He would find that even after he dropped quite heavy truth bombs on them. Eli was shown of this after a couple of moments of silence.
It was the most moving thing in the world when going against the possibility of the truth pushing family members apart, JJ stopped trembling long enough to move away from being closest to me and went towards Eli instead. And after JJ's hands went to Eli's shoulders – like Eli had done to him earlier in the day – JJ collapsed against him and clung onto him and yearned for an embrace.
You could tell that the deep violet haired male was surprised at first. He didn't melt against it himself. He didn't move. He didn't twitch. But then he almost smiled. Eli smiled. It was a complicated and it was a shaky smile but it was a smile nonetheless. It was a smile of believing in JJ, no matter who he was.
So for this reason, soon enough Eli embraced the younger male that was JJ back. And I did too. We formed our own little trio. We formed our own little family. For it was true that JJ was wanted by all. He was wanted by many. And that was the thing that he needed to focus on until the truth wholeheartedly came to light.
He didn't need to turn his attention to the fact that he belonged to one couple but shared his surname with the other. He didn't need to turn his attention to the aching in his heart. He just needed to direct his attention to the fullness in it instead.
JJ was loved and wanted by all. JJ was loved and wanted by many. Eli felt like he didn't have that in his own youth. But he would experience it in his continuous adulthood. That was something that I knew was the truth as well.
The End.
There you go! Thanks so much for reading and I hope you enjoyed :3 I think I've touched at or hinted at JJ's sexuality before but there it is officially. It's funny how Eli really is one of those observant characters who sees through people but at the same time, gets things wrong also! He's certainly not perfect. But he is supportive. And the more that time goes on and the more that Eli's character is shown to you, it's understood how much of a big thing that he is one of the main supports when it comes to not only JJ's sexuality but finding his familial place and finding peace with it also. I'd definitely like to write more about the two of them :) Thanks again for reading and I will be back again next Wednesday so see you then!
AmyBieberKetchum signing out :P