Hello! It is Wednesday and I am back with a new chapter. This one is not exactly an AU but it's a bit of a concept all the same. It might make its way into the canon timeline but I'm not sure yet! I was inspired by a song and it caused me to write this about Justin and Sammy, based on the idea of them splitting for good after they had children and Justin goes with Eli. Like the title suggests, something happens between them during a weekend. I hope you enjoy :)
Ages:
Justin: 28
Sammy: 35
Disclaimer: I own the story and the OCs mentioned!
As the deep purple haired male got out of the vehicle with the dark brown haired male and walked with him towards the front door of his house, surprisingly, the younger of the two didn't feel the same pang of sadness like he sometimes usually felt. His hands growing comforted by the inside of his jeans pockets, he looked on at the building. There was still a pang. There was still an emptiness - the same feeling of that when you visit an ancient sort of building and feel sombre for the remnants but impressed by them all the same.
Nevertheless, Justin soon smiled as Sammy approached the front door of his own home further and one of his hands stopped lingering in his pockets to brush his hair from his eyes. Then he addressed the other male at the same time that he turned back to him, key at the ready in his own hand.
"Here we are, then." Justin filled the momentary silence, his fingers rubbing against each other as he wondered whether to stuff them into his jeans again to occupy them with strands of his own hair. Soon enough he decided, and soon enough he added, in an afterthought sort of way. "Here you are, then."
Implication of these words rang out like bells in a church. However, maybe that was just for me as I observed the scene. Maybe as Justin fiddled with his own locks again and Sammy's finger traced over a key ring of one of his heroes attached to his keys, those bells rang silently and unnoticeably.
The only thing that the Alolan male seemed to notice is the way that the younger male felt the need to say those words at all. The only other thing he noticed was his presence, still there and still lingering, in a way that was more awkward and fumbling than usual.
Instinctively, Sammy corrected this notion with a gesture and a small smirk creeping over his face.
"You want to come in?" he offered and that smile of his quirked upwards at just the one side remained. He saw Justin through crescent moon shapes as he waited for his reaction – and studied it too.
In spite of the fact that Justin had been dawdling, these words or perhaps that smile of his flustered him again but that time in flustered him into action. He was forced to have a bit of a grin in return, his hand at last falling away from his cascading purple locks to address Sammy.
A shake of the head came from him before his words outwardly declined.
"No. No, thank you. Better not." He began and while Sammy already nodded understandingly, beginning to search for the right key rather than occupy his touch with the texture of a key ring, Justin felt that he didn't understand so he clarified. "I should wait for the kids."
A pause hung about the air while Sammy searched for the right key or maybe searched for the right words within him. Or searched for the right reaction. After a couple of seconds he must've settled on one of that of truth because he then nodded in a different way, turning to Justin with a more even smile compared to his previously slightly mischievous one.
"So I'll see you again…?" Sammy began before trailing off and what followed that unfinished musing was him taking the last two steps up his porch and then sliding his key into the hole. The key didn't turn in the door though. Footsteps reversed again and soles of boots were pressed against the drive rather than the porch.
Justin watched his footsteps descended. And then Justin replied.
"At the weekend." his answer came and his answer came without hesitation so it caused Sammy to tilt his head. No, no he could not smirk all over again. He simply couldn't. Though he told his lips not to curve up in the corner, his eyes had a bit of a glint before Justin was encouraged to clarify all over again. The color of the flowers in Sammy's garden began to creep onto his cheeks. "For the usual swap over. No doubt we'll see each other before, though."
Sammy had managed to not allow his lips to perform the gesture that they would have liked to but he couldn't stop a chuckle escaping them there and then. I found that curious. My gaze focused on him as he had a moment to look to the ground as he chuckled, pushing his own locks from his eyes before he found his voice again.
"Right." he agreed, understanding Justin's words and actually comprehending them that time. There were of course silences between the two of them during the last season of their lives and there was one there and then, and on the driveway leading up to Sammy's house. They filled the air while the men filled their fingertips with their own strands of hair. But then the older of the two was the first to snap out of it. And he spoke more words before doing something else. "No doubt."
No doubt was the thing that chimed like bells at that point rather than a silence. And after these words came from him, his arm started to learn forward and curve in a way that was a little unrecognizable for Justin and I but apparently seemed purposeful on Sammy's part.
It wasn't until this action kept up and he leaned forward to that it became obvious what was going to happen. Ignoring the pang that was beginning to creep up from the pit of his stomach to his slightly prickling neck, Justin followed suit. Justin followed suit and they were soon embracing.
Justin and Sammy had their arms around each other and their bodies were lightly pressed up against each other as they said goodbye on the drive way. While tips of fingers rubbed on each-others jacket material, words of that of a mumble escaped between them but I didn't know what was said.
I didn't know what was said and I still don't. I only can gather what was felt. Because I had only joined them recently and for the drive back from the Morgan household to Sammy's single one, I didn't know all that had transpired between them. But I could feel like. Like the cold air taking over a golden autumn day and knowing that winter was coming, I knew that things had happened.
And as I sat there, watching them embrace and watching them say goodbye and watching them sometimes wordlessly and sometimes verbally sharing things with each other, I had a good idea about what sort of weekend they had had. And I knew I was right.
When Justin heard a knock on his teenage year's bedroom door early on a Saturday morning, the last person he expected to enter after he responded to the unknown person on the other side of the door was his former long-term boyfriend. But alas, that was indeed the case. And he had to react accordingly and stop playing his guitar on his bed while the windows frosted on the outside. He had to respond. However, Sammy got there first.
Pushing his long dark brown curtains from his face, he gave a somewhat stilted wave and smile but greeted the person on the inside all the same. The threshold remained uncrossed.
"Hi." He started, his hand still in mid-air as he took note of the complete and utter surprise on the face of his former boyfriend. Justin looked as though he had been caught doing something entirely mischievous in his youthful bedroom! Sammy's hand halted in the air before it played with the buttons on his own jacket for something else to do. "Your dad said that you were staying here. I had no idea. I just stopped by to see him."
Justin must've noticed that, like the expression that was taking over his face, the many sentences that befell Sammy's lips was due to the slight uncomfortableness of unexpectedly running into each other in a house that kept many of their memories within its walls.
Even so, he knew he had to look a little bit different eventually so he encouraged his face to appear softer, less wide eyed and put his guitar down on his messy bed covers, shuffling on his bottom to give the illusion that he hadn't been previously lounging.
A smile took over Justin's face and it made the same happen for Sammy in spite of everything.
"Well, my dad would be correct. I thought I'd stay here for a little bit." He spoke and he nodded in a way that showed he felt like that answered and summed up everything. But it didn't. For Sammy, it didn't at all.
After he copied Justin's smile, while the younger of the two's lip curving motions remained, Sammy's started to fade away. He also began to switch his digits from pulling at the buttons on his own studded leather jacket to drumming gently on the frame surrounding Justin's door. As well as this, his own tongue started to poke the inside of his lip and his cheek.
The younger of the two caught on. He caught on to the way that his expression had changed and it was like coming across a spill on the page of one of your favorite books. He felt that he could read him like a book. Maybe that was wrong from the way that he started to believe that change in demeanor was down to his presence.
Justin was misled as he resisted picking his guitar up all over again and played with a thread in his lap instead. However, on the other hand, he was right. It had been his presence that caused it. But it was for a reason that he was not correct about.
"Hey, listen…" Sammy started and his fingers made a tune on the wood of the frame for a few more seconds after these words had trailed from him. He had Justin's attention immediately. His eyes stopped taking in the creases of his own jeans and traced along the angles in the older male's face instead. He watched his jaw contorting and moving as he spoke again. "Are you alright?" Sammy couldn't help but wonder. Two lines appeared between Justin's brow and his lips pouched, showing his confusion. So Sammy hurriedly albeit caringly added: "You usually come and stay here when something is the matter."
Ah. Ah. So apparently Justin wasn't the only person who believed that they could read someone else like a book.
Breath hitched in the Alolan male's throat. He didn't give himself permission to breathe as his fingers remained on the door frame and studious eyes remained on the younger male in his bedroom, waiting for an indication that he was right before it verbally came. But still, he thought he was correct anyway. Or rather, he thought that he was correct but hoped he wasn't.
Justin listened to Sammy's words - all of them. And as much as he studied each curve and texture of his face as it moved, he studied the care in his words and in his own frame in spite of it all. There was a part of the younger male that wanted something to be wrong so the other male didn't head off again and away from his sight.
But he was hardly going to lie, was he? He couldn't.
After a long silence and a truly staring scene between the two of them, Justin eventually breathed air out of his nostrils and shook his head. He smiled in a way that was like he was trying not to smile. He was trying not to come across too strong, too normal. It was pretty possible to hide this, though.
And so, he settled on looking down while having a private curl of the lip and shaking his head too.
"No, no, everything is fine." He started. At once Sammy didn't need to comfort himself with the smooth feeling of the wood any longer. His head nodded. But his shoulders didn't move downwards fully until Justin stopped nodding his head and reaffirmed more with words. "Just with the kids away and everything, I thought I would come and hang out here. I don't really know why."
There was a very high chance that Sammy was going to hear the word 'everything' and not only understand what it meant and allow it to be the driving force which would encourage him to leave the other side of Justin's bed and go and see Justin's father like he planned on doing. But although the chance was a very high one, it still didn't happen.
Perhaps Sammy appreciated the almost vulnerability of Justin admitting that he didn't know something. Or maybe it was the reassurance that he was just as instinctive as ever. Or it could have been none of things at all. And it was the gladness that he had bumped into him there, whatever the reason was.
Enjoying being able to let his shoulders sink down again for good, Sammy mirrored Justin's smile and he went back to playing with his hair. That time it was less for something to do to direct his concern elsewhere. It was just simply something that filled the air.
What also filled the air was the feeling of silent appreciation from Justin that the older male still remembered and noticed things within him and expressed concern. This made him be the one to continually smile and it made him be the one to speak again next, shifting his weight on the bed as he crossed his legs underneath him.
"Would you like to come and sit?" Justin offered, finally reaching for his guitar all over again and that time he was placing it in his lap to make room rather than with the intention to let some tunes ring out of its strings. And it also suddenly became clear why he had sat up when Sammy's face was revealed on the other side of the door.
His expression there and then was of a different quality. The younger of the two could see that he was genuinely considering his offer and it filled him with a strange combination of ease and awkwardness, like admitting that particular pop album downloaded on your phone actually wasn't for your little sister.
It was only for a moment. Sammy considered for only a moment. And then he shook his head, hands stuffing into his own pockets. In spite of his rejection, he seemed airy enough.
"No, no, better not." He replied and immediately, the unusual mixture within Justin had a private battle and the former won. Crossing his legs tighter and nodding his head like he understood – but he really didn't because it could have been a multitude of reasons – he looked over at Sammy again. Sammy looked at him in return and after a second or two, I suspect it was this contact that caused him to suggest: "You want to go for a drive?"
Justin then looked over to other things in his former bedroom instead of looking over at his former boyfriend. His eyes scanned and the arms belonging to the clock on the wall told him of the time. It was pretty early! His eyes wandered some more. They looked over to the frost continually creeping across his window and decorating it with admittedly a very pretty pattern. He could feel a shiver biting at his skin.
He looked at a great many things in his room rather than the person who was actually offering him the proposition. And as he did this, he was all kinds of mistaken. He silently breathed out and knew that if he was to take up the offer then he would have to calmly yet insistently insist that he was fine and that he didn't need a drive to cheer him up.
And as well as this, he pondered the fact that this might have been his father's intention all along and would have to bring it up to Sammy without taking it out on him!
While he twitched on his bed and pondered and considered, the older male waited. And as the both of them did their separate things, in hindsight I know clearer than ever, I know that Justin was somehow utterly clueless to the intention of his former boyfriend.
Sammy sinking the leather of his jacket against the wood of his doorframe as he picked at his own black painted nails spoke volumes. He hadn't known it when he walked into the house but he knew it when he saw his face that it was natural for him to simply want time with him. He didn't want it in his bedroom either.
He wanted it someplace else. Some place new. With no walls that wept of memories that were no longer being made. But on a road and in a car where new memories were welcomed like the large green signs of home towns.
"Sure. Let's go." Justin answered and it bought Sammy's waiting to an end. It caused his thoughts to cease as well if he was having any. But perhaps his mind was empty and the knowing's of the walls were doing all of the talking as they watched the former couple. Sammy nonchalantly nodded as he watched Justin leaving his guitar on his bed for good. More words happened. "Let me grab a jacket."
One single pause happened. One single pause happened as Sammy's fingers trailed away from each other and felt the material of his own jacket instead.
"Grab two." He uttered. And in the moment, it was unclear what his intention was. It was unclear to Justin and it is unclear to me in hindsight. A joke, perhaps? A teasing quality as he spoke of how slight the younger male was? A joke depicting how often he misplaced his clothing? Care? Maybe it was care. It could've been that.
Either way, that was the last thing that was spoken between them the morning that they were in the Morgan Household together and on the morning that they left. The next time that words filled the air was after the doors of Sammy's car had been slammed shut and they were both trying to get used to the sensation of the freezing leather seats somehow clinging to their every being and turning them into icicles.
However, their conversation didn't turn frosty. It still had a little bit of a quality like when you're sat in a hairdressers seat and don't exactly know what to say. But still, it wasn't the same as the cold racing through their bones as Sammy raced to put his seatbelt for something to do and something to warm up with before his fingers reached to crank the heat up.
The air conditioning was the only thing that sounded for another few minutes. In fact, words were not spoken until the car had actually moved and was beginning to turn off the road that led away from everything that they once knew.
It was Justin to offer words. Maybe he could stand the silence no longer like he could hardly stand the chill of the car.
"So where are we going?" he asked, the sound of his words being followed by the sounds of his hands frantically rubbing together to try and warm up. Sammy gave him a look but this look wasn't noticed. He might've had a point by telling him to bring two jackets! "Are we going anywhere? Seeing anyone?"
Sammy didn't reply at first and he let the indicators of his vehicle be his response for a couple of moments. And then after he turned the car down the right lane and could not only hear Justin still attempting to warm his hands but could feel him looking at him, more questions buzzing around his brain.
He finally gave Justin a bit of an impatient look, a fish hook pulling up his brow and his long brown locks tickling around his own neck as he shook his head.
"Did you ask this many questions when we were dating?" Sammy remarked in not too much of a harsh way despite his expression and the potential of his words. Even though Justin had been looking at him all along, he somehow turned his head to look at him more when he heard this. Part of him was glad he had not been the first one to drop this reminder on the other. But I understand that the other half was slightly miffed that all they had shared had been labelled as 'dating'! Sammy's sigh that was drowned by the air conditioning and then he added. "Stop overthinking. We're just driving."
Justin's head turned away. Though he hadn't exactly been able to warm himself up much at all by his insistent rubbing together of his pale fingers he stopped this action and allowed them to sink down into his lap while he drove. His lips had a chance to fully pucker now that he was turned away. And a few seconds passed before words escaped from his pouty mouth.
"Every road leads to somewhere." He made a point of saying and although Sammy was looking in the rear view mirror instead of elsewhere, he showed off a bit of an eye roll in response all the same. This poutiness didn't last for long though. And unlike when they were indeed dating, Justin recovered from his own demeanour quickly enough. He might've even needed to do that to perk up. He suddenly gave Sammy a bit of a look as he focused on the road but didn't go so far as to nudge his shoulder against his. "Besides, overthinking is something that I'm actually really good at."
"Tell me about it." Sammy's reply came promptly and he focused on the road for a few more seconds, the concentration on his expression coming across as moodiness. Still, before Justin could overthink that as well, the road allowed him to turn back to him and he was even the one to lightly nudge his shoulder against his. It was only just for a second. But it happened.
And then the two of them both chuckled softly. No matter what and no matter how it naturally got buried, they would always have history between them. And that was the most uplifting and hindering thing all in one.
I suspect maybe it really was true that they needed to get a little bit of bickering and awkwardness off their chests and out into the air before they found their groove. And I think that is allowed, don't you? Figuring out relationships is hard at the best of times. It's certainly a tricky thing when you are no longer together but still in each other's lives. And for Justin and Sammy, sometimes it seemed to be more complicated than it was for most people!
I think that Justin thought about this sort of thing as their smiles lingered and musings started to take over his mind in particular. It was surreal to him how as he planted his bottom in the seat and he looked over to his other side, there was Sammy and there was Sammy driving. Of course, it hadn't been the first time ever. It was quite a common occurrence for them to be sharing a vehicle together but normally the sound of children chattering and giggling and gurgling and singing could be heard coming from the back seats.
But that day, it was just the two of them. On that early January day in Kanto, it was just the two of them. And it was a little bit peculiar! But it had started to stop being uncomfortable. And it was made even less that way from Justin opening his mouth to speak, seizing his turn in the flow of their previously halted conversation and letting words dismantle his musings.
"So what's new with you?" he asked and Sammy couldn't help but give him a bit of a look. His eyes darted to the side of his sockets and looked at the younger male in the passenger seat, his lips pressed together.
Such a simple question. Such a casual question. A question that was so laid-back yet filled with possibilities. That was what Justin chose. And like he said that a road always led somewhere, their conversations did as well. And soon enough, they were chatting away, talking to each other like they always had done.
Sometimes their children reared their faces in their words. But for most of the part, oddly they didn't. They evidently shared more than just the three of them and the nearing ten years that they had spent with one and other.
Conversation flowed. Words were spoken. Inside jokes were shared. Chatting continued. All of this continued as the air conditioning blasted and warmed them through and the radio didn't need to play and they drove through the many lanes of Kanto.
They talked about hobbies that they had picked up. They talked about people that they had bumped into. They talked about books that they had forgotten about and picked up once more and fallen in love with their tales and their sentences all over again.
Rather refreshingly and almost in a welcomed way, there was many times that one of them stopped the other and told them that they knew about that particular story or that they had heard it from the other before. That made them smile. They smiled in the same way as it became apparent that they were always chatting. Through it all. Through the separation. Through the confusion. Through the guilt. Through the moving on. Their communication never ceased.
But I suppose it was hard for that not to be the case, wasn't it? They shared so much. Not just nearing a decade of their lives. Not just three children. Not even just history. They had shared each other with each other. And that was always going to be a very much binding thing. Sometimes a weed could be constricting and detrimental growing up a flower. But sometimes it could be almost as beautiful. And just as worth keeping.
"Do you want to get a drink?" were the next words spoken and this time they came from Sammy rather than Justin. Just over an hour into their driving, a silent spot had befallen them right as they rode into a busy part of the city, making it seem that suggesting that sort of thing was an option that was destined.
Justin looked over at him from filling his gaze with his crossed legs in the seat of the car and he took only a second to consider and come up with his answer. Even so, he took another moment or so before he said it. He didn't know why. There was no clue in his eyes as he looked at Sammy while driving and beginning to slow down to be more careful as other vehicles zoomed around them in all directions.
A tiny smile decorated Justin's lips. Yet another thing he didn't know why. But both of these things, for once, he didn't overthink. In actuality, he even uncrossed his legs underneath the glove compartment of the car and he sunk further back into his seat. A nod came from him just before his answer followed.
"Sure. Let's do it. And it's on me." He replied and what once would have been a bit of a disagreement over who was going to reach for their wallet first was replaced by another, simple look from Sammy. There was a chance that he couldn't partake in his usual antics in the middle of a busy conjunction! But I liked to think it was growth.
It was growth as the two of them nodded their heads and nonchalantly looked at each other but didn't smile. They had grown a long way with each other. I'm sure that a part of them would always be in disbelief that they got to a certain point where they grew away from one and other rather than each other. But it was what it was. You couldn't force what was meant to be. You couldn't make the sun shine in the sky. You could only make the most of what weather conditions were thrown at them.
Conversation started to pick up as Sammy drove towards the drive through of a coffee chain in that particular part of the Pokémon World but it was more halted that time. However, you couldn't exactly call it uncomfortable. You couldn't call it this at all from the way that they joked with each other leading up to placing their orders and observed the same things as they waited to drive towards the next window. They noticed a couple in the window of the coffee chain after having decided to have their drink and snack sitting rather than on the go.
One was very fair skinned and slight while the other was darker and had a more prominent presence to his look. One ordered tea while the other appeared to have a coffee. They had only one snack between them but that was the least of their concerns. It seemed the only concern that occupied their mind was the desire to look right at each other and talk away. And so they did exactly that.
A continual silence befell the two observers there and then and although that one was bordering on uncomfortable, it had a high quality of wistfulness as well. Thankfully – or maybe not, maybe they didn't feel the same way – they were next in line to drive up to the window before they could look at one and other after looking at the couple through the glass window.
No doubt would a gaze between the two of them that was no longer as hypnotic as the couple on the inside of the building have caused even more of a pang to travel from the pit of their stomach before leaking into every corner of their veins. Like staring at your calendar and realising that summer was over, Justin and Sammy remembered the point in their relationship when things stopped being that way for them.
An earthy silence took over. And it was one that prevailed even after they took their drinks and drove once more, Justin taking sips from his tea whenever he felt inclined to do so and Sammy filling his mouth with coffee every time he hit a red light or a momentary lull in traffic.
I wonder if it was the memory that he would have once fed him his drink in between driving that caused the silence to linger even longer for Justin. Or maybe it was the silence itself. Acknowledging the hollow quality made it continue all the more. Even though, oddly, there was nothing that he wanted less.
"Let's pull in here." Sammy finally suggested about another twenty minutes or so later and after driving back in the direction they came as well as taking a side detour. Justin almost had to blink himself back to reality after he heard his former boyfriend's voice all over again.
For half a second, he wondered if he had fallen asleep. But that couldn't have possibly been the case because his mind had been racing – overthinking – all along. Despite that he hadn't even shut his eyes and he definitely hadn't drifted off to dreamland, Sammy's voice came to him in a distant sort of way and the quality of his own reply was like that of speaking to someone under water.
"Let's do it." A half-mumble came with things still on his mind but he was forced to let all of that go when Sammy's eyes darted in their sockets again and looked at him. He breathed out. Justin breathed out. A smile came. A forced one. Sammy knew it. But the fact that he was trying to smile probably meant a lot. So he returned it.
Both the men were driven in the vehicle to a little desolate car parking spot with the tiniest most run down yet almost the most endearing news agents looking down at it. The car engine hummed to a halt. But then Sammy turned it back on again and well as the heating, figuring that not only would they grow chilly very quickly sitting lamely in the shutdown parked car but also the silence may become unbearable without any sort of noise.
This seemed plausible given the previous circumstances. However, he was stood corrected. Sammy was vastly stood corrected. Sure, a chilly quality washed over the car initially and that wasn't just down to the wintery weather. But then, slowly but surely and gradually, it started to lift. It started to lift at the same time that Justin's bottom lifted in the seat as something piqued his interest.
Sammy didn't turn to look. Sammy didn't turn to look as well. For a rare occasion, Justin's curiosity being taken a hold of didn't cause the same thing to happen within him. He merely sipped at his paper coffee cup and made up for lost time with it while Justin's forehead pressed so near to the window that it almost bumped it.
That got his attention! But he still didn't crane his neck. His attention had briefly been garnered by the way that an exhale escaped his nostrils and ricocheted of the paper lid of his coffee cup.
Showing that maybe the two of them needed a moment of a lilting ache within their own beings at memories gone by before they were able to move on to where they needed to be – the same with their bickering – things started to look up again after the previous moments. Justin's head indeed continued to look up as he noticed things.
Then when he finally turned to look at Sammy, sunshine starting to appear in his eyes to contrast the cloudy winter weather outside of the vehicle, he could no longer just have a moment with his coffee cup. Sammy was encouraged to look at Justin when he tilted his head to look at the older male so much that he almost rested his ear against his shoulder.
"Do you realize where you've driven us?" Justin asked and he then had an expression on his face that showed he had acknowledged his gesture of a leather jacket being pressed right up against the earring in his lobe. But his expression also showed he wasn't doing anything to stop it. He anticipated Sammy's reaction. After some confusion, it started to properly come.
He knew that he had to copy the younger male in looking around and so he did exactly this. Moving his coffee cup away from his lips and letting it sit in the cup holder of his car, his almond shaped eyes scanned the very run down news agents at first. That seemed like a decent place to run into and grab a bite to eat or a drink if you were desperate.
Nothing meant too much to him there though so he kept looking. He kept peering. He waited to see something that caused his eyes to glimmer with bordering on amusement as much as Justin's had.
His pupils took in the sight of a church looking down on the side of the car that he was sat in. That meant more to him. He had never attended and had never even set foot there but he couldn't help but feel a tickling in his chest nonetheless.
But that shivering feeling really expanded and grew prominently throughout his chest after he looked out the window on the other side, Justin's side. The younger male had to move from being lulled right next to his shoulder so he could have a proper look. When they gazed together and they looked out the same window together, their necks very close to one and other and one's breath tickling the other person's nape, it was hard to know if the sensation was down to memories or their sudden closeness.
Still, the exterior had to be a focus rather than the interior eventually. And Sammy couldn't help but breathe out, his expression changing but not so beaming as Justin's had been showing. His was more a momentarily closed eyed look and that of realization.
Nonetheless, he felt the same things as the younger male as he looked out across the school that was located there and even saw the children in their purple uniforms frolicking across the fields and grounds during their morning break.
"Oh… Oh. Oh, jeez." Was all Sammy murmured initially as he continued watching, drawing his body a little further back from the other's but studying the sights all the same. When Justin didn't turn to look back at him nor alter his body in any way or even smile, the older of the two was encouraged to add, his hair feeling the thoughtful brush of his hand. "I guess it's just automatic pilot."
Justin moved in his seat all over again at these words and peered at Sammy some more, his expression filled with a nostalgia that wasn't actually causing him too much pain while his elbow rested on a part of the car and his knuckles pressed against his own cheek. And following this look, a laugh came. A laugh came from Justin. He shook his head fondly. And he couldn't help but almost tease the older male.
"Do you remember our second date parked right here?" he asked and part of him couldn't help but wonder why he was bringing that up after their previous bordering on sadness filled silence! I was inclined to agree. But that was them. They didn't stop moving, changing, adapting.
And I'm almost certain that it was this risk taken on Justin's part that showed Sammy everything that he needed to know. If he was willing to go there – if the person who wore his heart on his sleeve was willing to go there – then he could as well.
Sammy's eyes widened and his mouth hung open before his eyes became slits, shaking his head. There was a part of him that couldn't believe he was bringing that up as well. But then his expression actually relaxed. His expression relaxed more than it had done that day. The part of him that won was the one that copied Justin. And it caused him to reply out.
"How could I forget? How could I forget the day that you listed every guitar that you had played since the age of seven?" Sammy gave him a bit of a deadpan to which would have been usual for Justin to return. Instead came a forceful cheesy grin that was very obviously fake but full of humor all the same. At least his eyelashes didn't flutter! His grin died down to that of a smirk while his former boyfriend resumed looking out of the window at the school children and teenagers, shaking his head for a good few moments. His gesture was soon enough explained. "Damn… Can you believe that you were a school boy when we first met?"
I shouldn't have been surprised since I too had grown with the both of them but it still filled me with amusement the way that they could cause each other's demeanor to change to dramatically! Out of nowhere, Justin's curve lipped expression faded away and his naturally full lips became even fuller. Two lines decorated between his brows all over again as well. He didn't go all the way as to fold his arms over his chest but he might as well have.
"I was in my last term and about a week away from leaving!" Justin argued back, defending himself by starting to grip at his own knee as his legs crossed all over again. Or maybe he was defending Sammy. Either way, he couldn't help but shoot back with words as well as a look, tilting his head indignantly over at the older male. "I would have been out of there a lot sooner if I had had my way."
Sammy at last copied his former boyfriend's pouty expression in a mocking way and then he couldn't help but laugh, shaking his head. He had heard that story time in and time out. How Justin stuck out the remainder of his school days because he didn't want to leave to close to finishing. How he had grown entirely restless with lessons and classrooms and was longing to spread his wings and fly with the record labels that were beginning to have an interest in him. How he would have done anything to pursue his dream rather than the school boy storyline that was written out for him.
He quietened down when he thought about this. They both did, in fact. There was a chance that they were both thinking about how they had really known each other for so long. Justin had signed his record deal, done his first tour, completed his first album and garnered many fans across the regions all while just in the first few months of being partnered with Sammy.
They had done so much more too, of course, together and apart. But they didn't like to think about that. They liked and tried to think about the here and now. The here in a parked car just like it was old times but with the possibility of a new dynamic in front of them. The now - outside the school that they had a lot of memories encapsulated by. But with the possibility that a part of their old dynamic would return no matter where they went.
Sammy cleared his throat. Sammy cleared his throat as if he wanted to be the one to steer the boat. Like he needed to know exactly where things were going.
"Do you think we would've gotten along if I had been at that school too?" he suddenly questioned Justin at the same time that his hand reached into a side pocket of the car, pulling out a boiled sweet. However, he apparently didn't have the intention of putting it in his mouth as he looked down at his lap, pulling on either end of the wrapper and causing it to twist.
Justin's gaze fell down to the noise. His brow arose on his face. And then his gaze was filled by Sammy, his eyebrow somehow arching even more at the same time that his head tilted all over again. Except that time, his ear wasn't pressed nearly as close to his shoulder.
"I don't think there's a possibility that we would ever been at that school together." his voice came out directly and prosaically and his accent probably didn't help the situation. He was blind to Justin's frown as he continued twiddling with the boiled sweet in the wrapper. He was continually blind as he shrugged his narrow shoulders. "Unless you were bizarrely a teacher and then I definitely wouldn't be taking your classes among other things."
A loud sigh erupted in the car there and it goes without saying that this came not from the air conditioning. Sammy shouldn't have been surprised when Justin didn't play along with his little game but he didn't expect him to be quite so unemotional about the idea of daydreaming up other possibilities for them both.
Even so, he didn't let it go. And it was his turn to turn his head towards Justin as he encouraged him.
"What if we were the same age, Justin?" he tried again and in return he didn't need telling twice. When he heard his own name ringing out, he knew that he had to at least give him a better answer. He didn't intend to lie! He had to be truthful. But he supposed that he had to be a little more tactful.
And so, he turned to move in his seat and looked at Sammy in a more focused manner, his neck still slanting towards him. He forwent the inclination to tell him that they probably would have been in wildly different study groups and friendship circles. But then the more that he thought about it, the more that he couldn't help but get caught up in that little alternate reality as well.
It was strange that he had been so hesitant at first. As a singer-songwriter, he was constantly latching onto other people's relationship struggles and dynamics to come up with a bit of a storyline for his songs. But in hindsight, I understand. In hindsight, I understand and I'm sort of glad that Justin didn't suspect his own reasons.
I believe that he was reluctant to come up with any sort of alternate storyline for the two of them out of the aguish that they wouldn't end up together in that one too.
But fortunately, instead of focusing on that, Justin focused on actually giving Sammy an answer.
"I think that we would have gotten along, yeah." He started almost cautiously and the older male read this as him giving him an answer even though he wasn't really in it. He resisted looking away. And because of this, he started to see him getting into it, a small smile creeping up his face. "Of course we would've gotten along. We probably would have got to know each other through music class. An event that both our bands played at." He then couldn't deny all of the possibilities." We have a lot in common. We would have done at school too."
We have a lot in common. We have a lot in common. It was those words that sung out most in comparison to any of the others and even after the two of them both nodded their heads in unison in the parked car just for something to do together. Just to have a reaction - any sort of reaction - that stopped their thoughts wandering before they did so too much.
But of course, nothing was going to stop it. Yes, they did have much in common. It had been that that had led them towards each other. And probably what had led them away from each other too.
It was the silent knowing in Justin's heart that he knew he belonged with someone else. And it was Sammy sensing this within Justin too, no matter where he went or how far apart they grew, in their relationship and in actual distance.
And just like in the same way that Sammy had reached for a boiled sweet but just with the intention of having something to do rather than fulfilling its purpose, Justin reached into his jacket pocket for his phone. And as he did this, the motion of moving his mobile from close to him to on its lap made the phone spring into life.
It was obvious that this was meant to happen from the way that it led them to where they needed to be next.
Still, it was somehow funny that the unspoken reminder of their parting had been on both of their minds at the same time that Justin's phone suddenly flashed, revealing to both of them the lock screen that he had had chosen to be there.
Justin's immediate reaction was to hide it before Sammy was forced to look upon the picture of him and his current boyfriend and so he tried to tuck it between his own lap. However, the reaction that he got wasn't the one that he intended. He was only trying to be respectful. But the way that he darted into action to heavily caused Sammy to show an expression which he entirely misread.
As soon as he had seen the photograph and barely a second or two after he tried to smother it with his thighs, Sammy gave him a rigid look and a shake of his head. That look told him not to bother hiding something he obviously knew about. But Justin misconstrued it of a look of annoyance – even anger.
Nonetheless, the way that Sammy acted next allowed those walls and those miscommunications to fade away and he was encouraged to swallow when his former boyfriend tugged his phone away from hiding and set it on his knee. Then, he finally unwrapped the sweet from its wrapper and started sucking on it, starting to look at his own lap.
Justin didn't know where to occupy his own gaze. He thought that if he looked over at his phone then it would be even more disrespect on top of his previous actions. He thought that if he looked over at Sammy then it would be smothering him almost as much as he smothered his phone.
After a couple of moments to think to himself took place, instead of the sound of his former boyfriend sucking on his sweet irritated him, it almost calmed him. It almost calmed him to be able to act in the way that he most wanted. With the other male in the seat right next to him, he clicked his phone so the lock screen came into view all over again so he could look at it.
And as his eyes wandered over and yearned over the image on his phone, he didn't even need to sigh out loud for all to hear because the way that his body moved showed this was exactly what he was doing.
Sammy moved in a way that was equally similar and dissimilar. A slight wave of awkwardness couldn't help but wash over him. But then a particular sensation of acceptance did as well.
He cleared his throat – that time I'm unsure whether it was out of addressing the silence between them or it was a sharp bit of boiled sweet had stuck in his throat prior to swallowing it – before not only looking over at Justin but at the photograph too.
Needless to say, his expression changed. His lips drew together and up towards his nose a little more. You could see his cheekbones hollow out. But he wasn't distressed. He wasn't angry. He wasn't jealous. Not anymore. He could sense the silence in Justin that went beyond the one that he was exuding. His concern caused him to break it.
"You miss him?" Sammy asked him and then his own silence that rung out like tinnitus through a sensitive ear drum. Why had he asked that? He didn't regret it, no. He just should have stated it. It was obvious as obvious could be.
And it was because of this that Justin didn't try to hide it. Sure, his elbow bent a little bit closer together out of tension and he couldn't look at the screen quite so hypnotically. But he couldn't look away from it either. And he certainly couldn't hide it.
So Justin didn't bother to hide it. He did conceal the screen though and that was with a different reason to before. With a simple click, his phone shut off. But with an inhale that drew his shoulders nearer to his ears, he nodded his head. And out came one, single noise in response to Sammy.
"Mmmm." He admitted and then his eyes wandered to the window, watching the children in their uniform's morning break come to an end as they were ushered back into the school. That time instead of pressing his forehead firmly against the glass, his hand did this as he thought to himself.
Another silence. No words came. No words came until they did. The seat squeaked beneath Sammy, ridding himself of the empty sweet packet in the back pocket of his black skinny jeans. He crinkled slightly as he sat back down again.
"Good." He told Justin and although his response came haltingly, the younger male looked over at him with a drawn together brow and dilated pupils. This was of course the last thing that he expected. But then again, could he really expect anything else? Sammy's tones started to mumble as he elaborated. This was an indication of true sincerity. "If you didn't miss him when he was away then I would have to think I made the wrong decision by telling you to go with him."
Silence. The heftiest silence of all. The one that was perhaps the most expected but still one that came down and engulfed almost like an elephant had dropped their entire weight on the roof of the car. No eye contact was made. No contact was made at all. Not with words. Not with exchanged glances. Not with sighs. Not even with uneasy shuffling of bottoms of seats.
There was nothing. There was simply nothing. Until there was everything. Justin's fingers began to rub up and down his forehead as if he was beginning to get a migraine. But he was probably really thinking of a great many things. And wanted to listen to them all.
Instead, he listened to his own words as they tumbled out. All he could ever do was act accordingly. All he could ever so was act instinctively. He was clueless how to make his way through the complicated maze that was their lives and their situation. But the best he could do was do what he thought was right. Or at least, do what he thought was honest.
And so, he reacted in this way. And it came out pointedly as his forehead continued feeling the friction of his fingers and he tried to turn back to Sammy, his eyes flickering at him and away from him.
"I… I still don't know why you did that." Justin admitted and almost as soon as these words fell from him, his touch fell from his forehead and started to pull at his own bottom lip. His eyes briefly became shut.
Meanwhile, Sammy's expression sucked in and his cheekbones did the same thing as if his tongue was still occupied with melting away the boiled sweet. What chilled at his own spine and made its way through his own ears was the silent wondering of what Justin meant. The desire to questioningly ask was strong.
And then that desire melted away. Just like he had made his way to the centre of the sweet and then crunched it away, the need to ask that question disappeared as well. He swallowed it, ridding himself of it for good. He understood. He didn't understand why Justin said what he said. But he understood what Justin meant when he said what he said.
At first, all that came from Sammy was a shrug. At first, all that came from him was a shrugging of the shoulders which caused the leather of his jacket to sound somewhat. And then, he brushed his hair out of his eyes all over again which arrived him at the place of answering.
It probably felt like a lifetime to Justin. But Sammy answered with the same honesty that had laced the younger male's former words.
"Because it was the right thing to do." He replied and like the silence had caused the feeling of a very weighty thing to come crashing down on the car, his reply caused the same energy as well. However, unlike the other one, it didn't last nearly as long. And in fact, after Sammy's answer came, the heavy weight started to shift and relinquish.
It wasn't because they shifted and sunk down further into their seats. It wasn't because they looked at each other. It wasn't because they smiled. In actuality, they only did the first of these things. But this air of truth caused the air to clear even more. For good.
Yes, it was clear that they would always care for one and other. And that was the thing that bound them. Maybe at times it would hold them back. But in others, it would cause them to leap and soar into the sky. I think that's true for quite a lot of connections actually. The person who can make you feel the strongest also manages to target and reveal your weakest spots. But in the best way. And it was certainly Justin and Sammy stripping everything back that caused them to move forward.
They would always move in a bit of a clueless way. But maybe that was a good thing. After all, it could sometimes be the what ifs and the fantasies that bought all the mystery and intrigue and excitement to a relationship.
One thing that Justin didn't have a clue about was how he was going to answer. How was he going to respond to words like that? By crying? Certainly not! It was true that he was touched. Of course he was touched. But first and foremost and somehow most importantly, he was reassured.
He was comforted that they would both always be there for each other no matter what. And that was everything. Yes, he had walked away from their relationship. But he had never wanted to walk away from their friendship. He had never wanted to say farewell. He had never wanted to turn his back. He could never turn his back on his greatest companionship.
And at last, it was this friendship between them that won out. And it was this humour too.
Sammy could not have been expecting the response that came from him. But maybe he should have expected not to be expecting. He was dealing with Justin after all!
After that hefty silence melted away and a welcomingly more comfortable one took its place, Justin started to turn. Justin started to turn as he placed his phone back in his jacket pocket. And almost as soon as the two of them decided to make contact with their gazes all over again, the younger male said words in response to Sammy's caring answer.
"Cheers, babe." He humored him but he didn't do it too obviously. It was clear that his nonchalant smile and his dimple appearing had done wanders from the way that Sammy turned equally in his seat!
His almond eyes became chestnuts and lines appeared above his brows as they rose. He very nearly did a double take. There were two thoughts on his mind at that point and his expression conveyed both of them as clear as day. As he continued staring at a very still Justin, he contemplated inwardly how that word had been a very unusual choice for a thank you following what had actually been said.
And then his mouth actually expressed the other thought on his mind. His wide eyes narrowing and creasing but his brows still rising, he shook his head and explained his thoughts to Justin.
"I don't think I have ever heard you call me that in your life!" Sammy very nearly spluttered even though he had tried to keep as nonchalant as Justin. He obviously failed though. Justin remained able to keep his expression as chill as ever even though his eyes amusedly glinted at the response from his former boyfriend.
And then, while his expression stayed level and Sammy's continued being dismayed which bordered on being accusatory, Justin finally allowed his humour to be a very big part of their new/old dynamic.
Reaching a hand out to the older male, he didn't exactly cup his face but he lightly slapped underneath his chin. And he squinted his own eyes, half mockingly, half humorously.
"Oh, learn to go with the flow." He told him and almost as soon as his fingers made contact with the chin of Sammy, he recoiled and he recoiled into fits of giggles. Sammy merely had a fish hook in his brow towards the younger male! He wasn't giving into him that easily. And it caused Justin to find even more amusement within his own antics before at last settling down, giving him a more laid-back smile as well as a touch underneath the chin. "Shall we head home now?"
The Alolan male had managed to resist bursting into laughter with Justin even though he would have very much liked to. He managed to resist rolling his eyes even though he would have liked to do that equally as much!
He had been told to go with the flow. And so, he had managed to do that instead of lingering on the fact that it had been a long time since he had suggested 'going home' and them actually having a place they called home.
Sammy did still let his mind linger and think about this. But it filled him with a positivity and a feeling of new light rather than dread. Maybe it was the school looking over at them and reminding him of more innocent times. Maybe it was the church and its white walls and its promise of redemption. Or maybe it was the company.
Whatever it was, whatever had lead him there and whatever would go on to lead him wherever, soon enough he reached for the steering wheel and he nodded his head. And not only this, but he copied the younger male's antics. He would always do this, wouldn't he? Justin was as much a part of him as he was himself. And that was something that he was hesitant about leaving behind.
So, he replied at last.
"Let's go then, babe." He answered him back and the engine that had been loitering sprang into action for good. Justin's shoulders twitched and he laughed, covering his mouth with his hand and not looking at the older male but it was obvious where his inner sunshine was being directed.
And where would they go? They would simply move on. They would head home. They would head back to the Morgan Household where Justin grew up and some of he and Sammy's first memories lingered there. And unlike the first time when he offered, Sammy accepted when he wanted him to seat on the bed with him.
Soon enough upon their return, they were laying down. Justin with his head on his own pillow and his guitar over his body as he strummed a tune – and Sammy with his head against the foot of the bed and his feet quite near to the younger male – they laid down together.
They didn't touch. They didn't need to. Justin's fingers felt only strings and Sammy's fingers felt only the hair on their own head. But their insides felt far more. Their insides felt far greater things. They didn't need to touch each other. They had already been touched.
Once by the fingertips of one and other. And then by the knowing that they would always be able to find one and other, no matter where they hid.
That is where they moved on to. They didn't move on to better things. They just moved on to other things. And anyway, they would always be able to find each other again. In the months where the calendar changed from December to January. In a parked car between a church and a school with a rickety building looking on. In their memories. Within walls. Within children. Within themselves.
There would always be a chance to connect again. It would always be their season to. They just had to look for it. And want it enough.
The End.
There you go! Thanks so much for reading and I hope you enjoyed. This was fun for me to write because like I said, it's more of a concept rather than definite but it was almost healing for me to write these two exes not only having to be okay with each other but wanting to as well. I do think that if they did part for good, their friendship would prevail and almost be stronger than them romantically together. Like Justin acknowledges, they do have a lot in common. And I think it's good to have a dynamic that is able to be truly happy for each other. But bickering can be humorous too :P Thanks again and I will be back on the 23rd for Shannon (AAML-TAML's) birthday chapter to see you then!