Hello! It is no longer Wednesday because in typical Amy fashion, I got this all read and edited and ready for upload on Tuesday like an organised soul but forgot to press upload when I got home late last night...! Regardless, I am back with a new chapter. Unlike the previous one, this shows a completely different side of Justin as it tackles a romance and a break up that is far more brutal. Of course, I am talking about his time with Eli! This one is a heavy one, and certainly involved. We get to see the care that Misty has for Justin when something - or indeed, someone - causes his home situation to go awry. And we see moments following Justin and Eli's break up that I know, looking back, they will be mortfified about. But it's still a story to be told. I hope you enjoy :3
Ages:
Justin: 22
Misty: 36
Eli: 34
Sammy: 39
Disclaimer: I own the story and the OCs mentioned! And just another heads up - there's a bit of swearing in this one. Hope it doesn't offend :P
Sometimes you can never grasp the whole story. Throughout life, you manage to collect pieces here and there that somehow allow you to understand in handfuls. However, eventually, sometimes those fragments fall together all on their own when the whole picture longs to be revealed.
Occasionally for quite some time, though, fractions here and there are all we have. This is one of those stories. Let us begin.
Darkness was left behind and as a head that felt far too heavy to properly lift, slid out from underneath a pillow, the orange light of a new day caused a previously sleeping man to stir all the more. Justin's head felt like he had engaged in a night of heavy intoxication or worse – being crushed by a ton of bricks.
Still, although memories of the day before were out of focus and he couldn't be sure all that had gone on, part of him knew that neither of this had been the case. Whether he was then in reality, however, he still wasn't so sure.
That reality felt odder than usual. Certainly heavier, yes. And hollow too. It felt easy to allow his heavy head to give way and flop back against the mattress beneath him, trying to take purposeful inhales and focus on a scent surrounding him that was new yet somehow part of who he had always been all the same.
But someone was not giving up on him in the way that he was giving up on himself. Justin had awoken somewhat for a reason. And he was forced to face reality as well as that person again when they tried again, this time hovering far closer to him.
He felt the weight of the bed move and then a light hand on a bump underneath layers of duvet which happened to be the curve of his elbow. He knew he must at least try to face the glowing sunrise of a new Kanto day as well as cascading locks of the same hue, framing a patient soul.
"Good morning… you." Misty greeted Justin a second time following her previous one being uttered from the frame of the door. She had not known what to call him for she had never really awoken him before but she tried not to allow that moment to ring out. "I hope that you managed to get some sleep."
The deep purple haired male felt the weight move on the bed a second time and from the clunking noise that happened, he figured that she was placing a mug of something or other on the bed side table.
Tea. It had to be tea. He was no stranger to her.
The one eye of his that was not concealed by the fort of a pillow fluttered open and from a blurred lid, he watched without doing anything himself as now that Misty was not occupied with placing a mug there for him, her hand stroked at her own tendrils.
The other still lingered around the unknown bump of elbow under the covers. He did not shrug her away. He did not let his status of sleep be known either.
"You'll hear everybody getting up and ready for school soon." She informed him, fingers still running through locks that were very much a waterfall despite their intense colour and even more so from the way that they had only just been washed that morning. "We'll be having breakfast shortly. You're welcome to join us. But you're welcome to sleep too."
And with that, an extra squeeze around the elbow concealed by covers was the only constricting motion to happen. Weight shifted on the bed due to Misty for the last time as she got up to leave the stirring man to it, not only to make up his mind about his presence around the breakfast table but also make up his mind towards his participation in life on that day.
Although Justin inhaled when she got ready to leave, that feeling like a tree with a hole straight through the middle did not leave him. Nevertheless, apparently he still had his wits about him.
Yes, his heart was broken. But it had not yet grown cruel.
Misty heard the rustling of covers as she started to take footsteps away from Justin and she knew it to be him rolling over, probably embracing the opportunity for a chance of sleep because he had surely had none the night before.
Then, she was taken aback to come to the understanding that not only was a hand briefly shooting out from those same fortress of covers, but fingers were lightly brushing over the cap of her knee as she walked away. Misty did not turn back.
There was a part of her that believed that this gesture to be a mistake. There was part of her that believed it was a happy accident. How easy it was to accidentally trace someone as your arm flung out while you rolled around in bed. Misty went on her way.
Deep inside, she knew better. Someone had not been able to find their voice, revealing that they had hardly slept a wink and that breakfast with everybody seemed too much at that point.
But their gratitude was never too far away. It was shown with the tracing of pads of fingertips along pyjama bottoms near where tendrils of dressing gown ties hung around. And then it was just yet another of Justin's forgotten memories. Rolling back around again even though he had only just motioned the other way, he flopped back fully underneath the pillow.
The new day had begun for everybody else. But for him, he was still stuck in the night before.
Justin surprised himself by ripping the pillow that lay on top of him away from his face before he had even the chance to take another breath. Though weary and feeling like his motions were being taken by someone else, he was determined that he would not allow himself to be stuck in a loop, his mind racing and tormenting over the exact same things that had captured all of his attention during the night.
Looking inward was beyond useless. It was painful. He would look outward. And soon enough, Justin found himself surprised by the level of peace that he managed to create himself, filling himself to the brim like oxygen was tranquillity and his lungs were a balloon.
Misty had been very kind to not only take him back with her but tuck him into her eldest daughter's bed when she had found him in a right state behind the wheel of his parked car at the convenience store. It was maybe a stretch to say that she had been a hero but to Justin's world that felt very mixed up and most certainly abandoned, that was how she felt.
Softness when the world seemed very hard. Attentiveness when everybody seemed to look the other way. Kindness when no one else was offering that. He focused on these things and others as his eyes started to see more clearly, especially so after raising a hand to his face and rubbing the sleep crystals away.
A rare thing for him indeed to be coming to terms with a new day while posters of fantasy films, sometimes gothic films and the same eyeliner decorated brown gaze looking down at him as well as maps across the regions, reminding him of all the places that he had been to.
He was used to waking up in a different room each day. But that surrounding took some getting used to. It was not, however, one that added unease to ones stomach. In actuality, though Justin's mouth did not have the strength to show happiness, there was some longing for the muscles in his face to twitch and show off the curve of a smile.
That was the room where dreamers belonged, Justin told himself. After figuring that if that was the case then he should probably live up to the standards of the room, he allowed so much tranquillity to rush through him that it aided him in getting to sleep.
Even if it was a level of peace that was fake and phony, his body for once could not tell the difference. It was merely elated at the idea of rest. And so, rest came to him. It encompassed him entirely, not even being disturbed by the sound of children eating breakfast and getting ready for school as had been foretold by Misty.
In fact, he wandered from dream to dream that were not entirely unpleasant for quite some time, aware of the noises echoing from various chambers of the house and those sounds becoming the soundtrack of his snoozing rather than a disturbance.
This was the reason that when a voice was actually talking to him for the third time that morning, just over an hour after the last exchange had taken place, he could not be sure they were actually addressing him at all.
But they soon made it clear to him by reaching out to him without having to make any physical contact.
"I'm off to do the school run now, Justin, so you can enjoy some proper peace now." Misty informed him from the doorway, her dressing gown and slippers a thing of the past and day clothes being adorned instead. "Yes, that was Jessika and Rey being quiet."
She added, humorous in spite of the fact that the person that she was speaking to from the doorway might have been asleep or even might have been ignoring her. She was tracing her naturally thoughtful touch down from her crisp white shirt towards her black skirt when she became attuned to a rustling noise.
Out of habit, when Justin had drifted off to sleep, that pillow of Katie's that had been cast aside had been reached for yet again and planted over his face, cutting off any sight from his line of vision, even the pleasant ones.
So after Justin crinkled under the covers, realising that he was indeed being spoken to during the present day and it was not some audible mirage of his mind, he lifted that covering away from his features. And Misty really was taken aback when she saw him smiling at her. Wearily smiling. But smiling all the same.
It was then her natural urge for her porcelain touch to roam back from the belt of her skirt and towards her heart, clutching over there in not too much of an obvious display. He appeared peaky. But still him all the same.
It was often hard to describe someone with the natural skin tone of a piece of paper as looking paler than usual but that was exactly the case. He often came hand in hand with all the facial attributes of a person running on empty when it came to sleep, even when he was full of beans.
On that day, though, Misty could tell he was extra washed out. But she felt a lump growing in her throat and travelling downwards, encouraging her heart to softly thump when he smiled at her all the same.
He was a good kid; she thought to himself, he didn't deserve to be so misinterpreted by all. However, if she dwelled on that any longer then she would have never taken her kids to school, instead envisioning Justin at the age of those two children and scooping him up and not letting him go, not allowing him to be hurt. Certainly not allowing him to be hurt by those closest to him.
Even if she might have desired to do so, when Justin's peaky face still remained unhidden by her eldest daughter's pillow, she did not reach out to him properly and instead just outstretched her arm from across the room. She gave him a bit of a wave. And she knew she must leave him alone for good.
She had children of her own to get to school. But still, she privately thought to herself, Justin needed looking after – perhaps more so than her children at the ages of nine and six. She could do that without them around and when she returned. And so, she vowed to do so.
Following the momentary company of Misty yet again, Justin found his eyes wandering around the room and basking in that familiar gaze before feeling overcome by tiredness yet again and longing to roll back over, face planted firmly yet with care against another pillow and lose himself to the land of dream.
It is true that he did indeed change position, feeling the plush of the pillow against his unshaven yet still baby smooth chin and the light growing less fiery orange and more desaturated and grey like nearing fall mornings often offered to us all.
Nevertheless, at that point he did not allow himself to sleep and he did not allow himself to dream. The lingering idea of sleep tugged at his mind like memories of the day before and many days upon days before that tugged at his heartstrings. But alas, he knew that he had to be brave. Misty had been kind. So he had to be brave. And he had to join in the new day. Even if it was just him and him alone at that point.
Fortunately, for as empty as he had often felt in the past month, that feeling that could make even the strongest of men buckle at the knees didn't encapsulate him there and then and he actually sought refuge in the sound of nobody else.
He allowed himself to dawdle for a good few minutes more, thinking of nothing in particular and nothing of particular importance. But then palm flat out against the mattress that resided under a pillow, his body jolted into action and from laying on his belly, he began to elevate his hips.
His hips being the ring leader, his knees started to follow suit and soon enough, his feet that never seemed to warm up not even in the summer started to scramble and pick himself up properly. Before he could give himself proper recognition or even proper applause, he was standing on the carpet on the floor in Katie's room. And he knew that the shower was next.
Justin might not have been able to join a family breakfast upon waking up and it was true that he didn't exactly know Misty's plans to the day, but he figured that he should at least freshen up and look a bit better if the opportunity of lunch came about.
He did not allow himself to think that while Misty may not have plans for herself, she may have plans for him and the blueprint for his day in her mind was to send him back home and with his tail between his legs.
At that point he was shaking his head in the shower after only just washing the shampoo out, causing droplets of water to flick everywhere in true determination that that could not be the case. Even if Misty wanted that for him and even if he did not want that for himself, it was hardly likely that he had a home to go back to, wasn't it?
Justin towel dried himself after stepping out of the shower and with each rubbing motion of the soft fabric against himself, he tried to rid himself of any attachment, especially to that of a family home.
He was not welcome there, he decided. He would stay with Misty until he was no longer welcome there. And then he would move on to wherever the road took him, just him and his guitar and his band. Just him and his guitar if his band didn't want to be around either. Just him and his guitar and nobody listening if nobody cared for him anymore.
Back in the room of one of the Ketchum family member's and tugging his t-shirt from the day before back over a head and dripping locks the colour of some of the flowers during summer in Misty's garden, he just had to hope that his guitar did not want to turn its string-less back on him either. He may have been able to cope with everything else. But that would have been the last straw.
In spite of the fact that Justin had vowed to himself not to do too much thinking of the debilitating kind when Misty had to drop Jessika and Rey off to school for the day, he had not done very well at all in living up to this expectation for himself.
In truth, when a key was stuck into the door and it was turned and someone bustled back into the Ketchum household, Justin was found looking so worse for wear at the kitchen table that Misty had to swallow like she was trying to choke back the urge to turn similar shades of grey herself at him being a mirror image of how she had found him less than twelve hours before.
"Let's get you some breakfast, shall we?" These words tumbled out from Misty when she had only just hooked her hand into the flap of her jacket, ready to unstick the patch of her lapel and reveal the scarf that she was wearing underneath. "I'll put the kettle on too."
And with that, she started to bustle around instead of looking at Justin appearing not only like how she had found him just the night before, but how he had secretly been hidden under the pillow fortress moments before she had awoken him the first time that morning.
"Awoken" in this scenario is not only a loose word but it is a lying word. You cannot wake someone who has not been to sleep. You cannot break someone away from dreams when all they have been experiencing is nightmares with their eyes wide open.
Although it was anyone's guess whether or not Justin's brain would stop whirring and spinning around in every direction that you could think of, there was still seemingly part of his wiring that allowed him to not. Seemingly, though, he could not do that much more acting and reacting for himself in those few, short but very lingering moments.
Fortunately Misty was there to take charge. And after reaching for a bowl under the sink and for the cupboards above the oven extractor fan for a brightly decorated cardboard box too, she did not hesitate to continue telling Justin what to do.
"Why don't you go and wait in the living room, sweetheart? Much comfier in there. Go and put the telly on." Her directions came out in a mixed together splurge. Thankfully, Justin was none the wiser. He just heard instructions. So he followed them.
Yet when he out of instinct wandered to the living room, as he then stood in the middle of that carpet, he did not know for a single second why he was there.
He must continually think with instinct though, he told himself - that was what got him to where he was. Plonking himself down on the sofa and kicking the remote to one side because he was positive that he did not want to distract himself in that way, he started to think very miserably to himself.
His instinct that had been developed at a very young age had clearly run its course, he agonised to himself. Never again would he trust it. It only led him to situations like… Well, it was true that he was heavily overthinking but there was still part of him that stopped him from spiralling down that route.
The TV remote did not need to click because his jaw offered this sound instead as it contorted while he managed to prevent himself from some thoughts but not all of them.
His instinct had not only been tainted by it had been destroyed. All there was left was not only despair but rage too. That was why what happened the day before had happened, hadn't it? If he hadn't lost control like that…
Another clicking happened. There was evidently somebody on Justin's side, whoever they were, when that time it was the kettle successfully finishing its boil and in the few seconds after, he was no longer alone and Misty was standing there, presenting his breakfast to him.
Justin did not even react initially. So Misty had to approach him further, telling him that it was indeed for him and encouraging him to try and get mouthfuls of at least any of the things.
"There you go. Nice, hot cup of tea." Misty started, her clueless but Justin's tormented mind flickering to the memory of the one she had placed for him upstairs that was not only untouched but most likely stone cold at that point. "Cereal too. Two kinds. Mixed. Just how you like it."
From the orange haired woman's point of view, her words were coming out as even more of a splurge at that point and unnecessary too. She was saying words for no rhyme or reason, she thought.
However, if she dug a little deeper, the reason was of course perfectly obvious. Justin was a chatter box who could give her a run for her money. And when it came to receiving two of his favourite things at the same time, he could turn into a positive sun beam.
Misty knew that that sun would hide behind thick and unwavering clouds on that day.
Forcing a smile in return to her effort to not only make him breakfast but tell him about it too, Justin also took a focused inhale and an exhale in order to clear his mind. He was thankful that it worked at least somewhat when the milky and sugary scent hit his nostrils, cereal bowl and mug of tea in either hand at that point.
Misty went on to watch as instead of being tucked into straight away, they were placed down towards the floor to be enjoyed – or rather, forced down – at a later point during the day. Her own instinct was untainted. It was true that, like the younger male, she had experienced moments in her life where she felt like she couldn't trust it and furthermore, it was her enemy.
But seemingly, there could be only one person at a time to feel this about their gut feeling. Misty did not shun hers, nor did she resent it. She felt like maybe she wasn't having the best urge there and then and believed that maybe she should too leave it for a later date and go back into the kitchen while Justin's eyes dropped down to the two objects placed on the floor rather than savouring them both.
Her lower lip fell into her mouth as she took her turn to ponder. In the end, her no-nonsense side won out. In fact, she felt that there was no reason to act like she wasn't thinking these things at all.
"You know where the phone is in the hall, don't you? So you can make a call home at any point." She began, it a rare occurrence when she was the tall figure and Justin was the one with far less stature as he remained perched on the sofa. "Your dad would want to hear from you."
She tried not to allow her expressions to portray her truth as she felt taken aback when Justin's eyes actually wandered to her and looked up at her, the whites of them matching the rest of his skin. How rare it was for him to be looking up at her and how uneasy it made her feel. She wondered if that stare of his – while not intense – was worse than no eye contact at all.
No, they were both as distressing as each other, she would soon learn when his gaze fell hopelessly back to the items on the floor, the steaming mug of tea risking turning to ice from the cold hollowness of his eyes.
"I doubt it." the chilled nonchalance of the reply that came from Justin there and then took her aback all the more, along with the way that his face softened, not out of serenity but due to a far more harrowing display of a person who hadn't felt anything real for a chunk of time.
His voice had rung out in the same manner as if he had flicked his finger against the china of the mug and it had chimed in a very telling way. Between the silence and the whites of Misty's eyes showing as well but for a different reason, Justin recollected to himself that her words were probably not out of nowhere. She had probably been in contact with his father, like they often were. But she had probably been in contact with his father about him, which was a very new situation indeed.
Apart from a few choice occasions, hostility was never usually his go-to reaction so he did not feel too much disdain over the fact that he had probably been talked about behind his back. In fact, he hoped that Misty had been talking about him behind his back very much indeed and to his father. It would have shown him that somebody out there did care about him. And that that same person would not kick him out of the house in the way that he had done.
Despite trying to look at the situation that had happened the evening before with a degree of distance and blame shifting too, he suddenly could not stop his cheeks from feeling aflame as if he had taken a premature mouthful of the steaming tea. Maybe he did not deserve to have people turn their back on him, but he had acted in ways that he would need to find a stronger word than 'ashamed' to describe.
The taut skin of his neck threatened to flush in the same manner as he knew that he was mortified. And in turn, Misty could not stop herself from reacting in a way that she felt was natural in its most unnatural state there and then.
When an arm was suddenly wrapped around Justin's shoulders and that flushed, throbbing face of his was pressed against the stable stomach of a standing someone, both of them knew that they could count on the one hand when they had been that close to each other.
Sure, they had hugged before. But embraced? Those occasions were few and far between. Meaningful. But without a doubt, few and far between.
Feeling himself being brought all the more closer to Misty, Justin had the urge to flush further but it was suddenly dissipated by a cool, chilling sensation rushing through him. He was not unrelaxed. He was not uncomfortable. He did not know what he was. He did not know what he felt. So he just allowed himself to remain there.
Then, tentatively, he momentarily looked up when he felt a hand brushing over his still very damp locks before it rested across his forehead, not moving. The two of them did not look at each other after that.
While feelings of sadness for Justin and maternalism too twitched in Misty's being and longed to engulf her, funnily enough, she was then distracted by the sheer weight of Justin's head as she cradled it in a way that she hoped would be soothing!
She had been warned of it before. Justin often joked about the 'dome-ness' of his head to her himself and she had heard Jessie speaking in similar jest about her poor body bringing a baby with that size skull into the world after delivering one with a tolerable head only moments before.
But still, there was part of her that wondered whether it was humanly possible that all of the thoughts ricocheting and rattling across all the corners of his mind and all of the experiences that he seemingly could not forget were actually adding extra weight to his – as he liked to call it – bonce.
A hand fell to his cheek as she still did not let him go. She knew that he was most certainly a man. But she remembered him as a boy. And in heartache, he could most certainly revert back to that age. After all, aren't we all the ages of numbers that have come before and numbers that we have yet to experience? Aren't we all the blueprint to the rest of our lives?
Justin is no different; Misty understood this in that moment. And following this musing, though she would have liked to hold onto him more, she finally let him go, leaving them both to clear their throats.
Seconds after Misty had rid herself of whatever was lurking there while Justin's seemed to linger, unable to escape no matter how he softly tried, words escaped from her and a smile that was natural too.
"Seeing you with your cereal has got me peckish again." She told him, leaving him to wonder in hindsight if that was a lie and she hadn't really eaten the first time with him not at the breakfast table. But then again, of course he had to be mistaken. Nobody cared about him that much during that time of his life, did they? "I think I might have to give your blending tactic a go."
And with that, Justin's throat that felt like it contained barbed wire after all of its attempts to clear was put to ease when he felt a hand dancing across his shoulder and then Misty left him alone again. Peculiarly, although he had not felt a level of unrest in her presence, his shoulders appeared to straighten when she bustled off to the kitchen and while he still did not reach for his breakfast, his stomach did feel a little more settled to eat it.
He supposed that the reason for this was everything was as it was supposed to be. A mother in the kitchen, bustling around and even humming to herself. While she was not his mother – she was not Jessie – he could almost kid to himself that she was. And that he was her children's age all over again, he was only somewhere between the ages of six and nine.
Everything was as it was supposed to be. He was a child again. There was no people in his life who would scoop him up and sweep him off his feet only to be not only disgusted with who they were and what they wanted but to be filled with disdain when it came to him too. He was a child again. And his father was still his hero. Not someone who would cast him to the side when he made one tiny mistake.
Something made him jump in the moment that he really was thinking about reaching for his breakfast to eat and his tea to drink as well as pondering these other things too. The doorbell of the Ketchum residence started to ring, bringing his attention elsewhere and causing an end to Misty's humming too.
Thankfully, the sharp, shrill noise did not cause him a jolt of anxiety for all that much longer. He even shrugged too. The doorbell was always going off in the Ketchum residence because there were always people stopping by. As Misty left the kitchen and making her own first or possibly second breakfast, Justin was clueless, he also figured that it would be one of the usual people on the other end of the door.
It would be Delia. Or maybe Cameron. Or perhaps even Ash. Yes, maybe Ash was returning from his event in whichever region he was needed at and Misty had forgotten to mention it to him. After all, her mind had been preoccupied with other things, hadn't it? There was a high chance that it was Ash. And so, Justin only half listened as he reached for his guitar that he had left there lulling against the living room sofa.
It was only when he started plucking at some strings and performing a monotonous melody to himself that he realised that he hadn't actually left it there lulling against the living room sofa. He knew that he had taken it from his family home and to his car so that meant he had probably worn it as a backpack in its case when he was lead to the Ketchum living room after being encouraged in there by Misty the night before.
He might have put it down. But the rest was a mystery to him. He might have got it out. But it was unlikely.
It was probably either of the two children, he told himself while that same melancholy melody rang out from the strings, vibrating against his fingers as he played though he did not allow himself to feel the heartache of the tune other than that.
He was not mad that the children had taken his guitar out of the case, he knew that. Aside from rage being an emotion that he liked to keep for really special occasions, he had used it all up during the night before.
Justin tried not to linger on that feeling either. And instead, he started to realise that a man's voice was following Misty into the hallway and in hindsight, he had heard the orange haired woman sounding quite surprised over who she was answering the door to.
He figured that her tone of voice would have elevated to an undeniable level of delight if it had been Ash home from his Unovan event and because he didn't hear any smooching sounds that followed, he knew that while it had been a man at the door, it had not been her husband.
It could have been Cameron. But that idea was put to rest almost as soon as the previous one when the tones were far too low for it to be one of his oldest sister's husbands.
The tones coming from the male rumbled through the floorboards far more than the actual footsteps made the wood of the house grunt and groan. Fingers that had been skilfully playing on a loop started to grow clammy against metallic strings as possibilities started to wander through Justin's mind. He tried to lay them to rest also.
No, he reiterated to himself so incredibly vehemently. That tone of voice was not familiar. There was no reason for his stomach to be curdling and his palm to be moistening against the strings of his guitar as he lightly patted against them to form a drum sound in between playing a riff. There was no reason that it could be him.
It was far more likely that it was actually Ash after all and Misty was making him be quiet as they walked through the hall together as part of her promise that it would be quieter from then on. He started to hope that it really was him when he did hear a bit of a smooching sound that sounded like lips momentarily pressing against a cheek before pulling away.
But that time, the congealing sound of his stomach was making its way upwards and trying to capture hold of his chest too.
Still, Justin insisted to himself, and with an eye roll that time too as he attempted to focus on strumming his guitar for a semblance of normality.
No. He didn't even allow himself to think about what he was thinking about and why he should not be thinking those things. Let that shit go, he inwardly cursed himself. It will never be. And it could not be. And most importantly so: you don't want it to be.
Justin's eyes had never rolled so intensely around in his sockets. And because of this, they were still doing it when the person arrived in the doorway of the living room and by Misty's side too. They showed off the whites of their own eyes when they saw the expression on Justin's face. He tried to see it for what it was, rather than feeling warmth rushing to his cheeks at how different those eyes in the back of Justin's head were to the last time that he had seen them.
His eyes were trying to bed into his own skull but he still saw it clear as day when the person was standing there. After out of habit his teeth gritted together and his guitar strings twanged out against each other as his tune very abruptly came to an end out of the surprise to the sudden presence, his gaze swung around to Misty instead.
He couldn't ask the person directly.
"What is he doing here?" he looked right at Misty as best as he could with blurred eyes from only just straining them so hard with the intensity of his eye roll.
But it didn't matter how blended and merged together and dizzying his sight appeared. He could clearly see Eli standing there. And no matter her connection to either of them and without directly talking about their connection to each other with the both of them, she could understand why Justin would ask her this.
It wasn't the easiest thing in the world for her to feel her uncle's broad shoulders falling down an inch or so as well as his naturally wide eyed gaze looking right to her rather than Justin, wondering how she was going to play it after the younger male had clearly chosen such hostility.
Then again, it was a bit of a stretch to call it that. With him refusing to look at Eli, it was more like indifference.
"I will leave the two of you to talk." Misty felt that it was best for her to say. She avoided asking Justin if it was okay for them to talk. And she avoided Eli being the one to suggest it to. The latter of the two felt a momentary hand gliding over his drooped shoulder while the other merely felt a stinging over the entire surface area of his body. "I'll come back in twenty minutes."
That was Misty's compromise. While she avoided asking Justin if he even wanted to talk to Eli because she couldn't stand by and let the older male feel equally as damaged at the rejection among other things, she made sure to say the second part of her words.
Nevertheless, the way she treaded carefully went unnoticed when it came to the younger male and this was almost absurd because he had not stopped his eye contact from honing into her and her alone.
"Make it ten." He replied curtly but it was not because he was cross with her. Either way, with that, his hot stare finally broke away from her and he resumed playing his guitar for something to do.
Although inwardly, he felt as though he had lost all playing ability and it was like he was picking up that foreign object for the very first time.
Somehow, Misty managed to catch the eye of her uncle and gave him a close mouthed, intentional smile which she hoped would come across as encouraging. Eli was none the wiser. But then again, it was understandable that that was one thing that went unnoticed by him when Justin's refusal to even look in his direction was painfully obvious.
His shoulders threatened to fall even closer to his kneecaps when he was left alone with the younger male. Well, he was playing his tunes so that made them a trio. However, his rhythms and his patter were uneven and they were strange and they were unwelcome. Eli knew it. But Eli knew that he had to try. Above everything, he was relieved that he had even been able to find him.
"Justin, are you okay?" he broke what was not actually a silence but might as well have been from the way that the deep purple haired male was blanking him so. Eli waited for Misty's footsteps to fade away back to the kitchen completely. Then his moved across the carpet as he broke the distance with Justin. "Tell me, what happened?"
It was a prevalent thing on that day with Justin's weight shifting as he sat or he lay. In that instant, his weight was shifted on the sofa as Eli invited himself there, trying not to look downwards and pull a face at the bowl of cereal that had congealed and turned to mush together and his tea that was fading into a similar grey colour.
The deep violet haired male had the ability to look at the deep purple haired male closer at that point and for half a second, he did not know whether to be glad or not. He watched with naturally studious eyes as Justin's countenance stopped being that of blanking him. It was not because he switched up his attitude, however. It was because blanking him had become so second nature, it was as if he was in his own world and Eli did not occur to him at all.
This caused Eli to run a hand through his locks, tracing over the shorter, shaved parts that cut close to his ears before roaming through the curls. Not that the older male knew it, but this gesture privately sent the poker faced male into a flurry of equal of distress and dopamine rush.
"I just want to know if you're okay, you had me worried…" Eli tried again but he wasn't really trying. Though Justin could never see it as such, he was just saying what he felt and speaking what he felt was right. Even after everything. Even when he could not say all that much else.
He was left seeing the younger male at an angle and with air escaping from his nostrils and not that he would want to admit it, but an expression of defeat washing over his features. How could he care about someone that did not wish to be cared for? Funnily enough, that was one of the same reasons that Justin had left him without barely an explanation.
"You had a lot of people worried, Justin…" Eli continued by trying a different approach because again, this was truthful to him. However, though you would not have known it from Justin seemingly having an invisible man sat next to him and one that could not utter a single sound too, it gave him answers that he needed to know and sent a prickle creeping up his neck that was noticeable for those who stared in that particular place.
So his father had spoken about him behind his back to more than just Misty, had he? It figured. That was all that Justin wished to figure out.
With a swallow that Eli surely heard but could not exactly point out back to him to prove that he was listening to him after all, he remained slowly and steadily playing, getting more and more into it as time went by and rolling with the music as if it was waves and sweeping his weary body further and further away with each sound omitted from his guitar.
It left Eli with a sensation of unrest in the pit of his stomach when he was not exactly blanked so hard but he was instead blanked so flawlessly. It also left a sensation in the pit of his stomach that made him feel that the expansive drop of his gut was endless and nobody could ever fill that sensation and make him feel whole again.
The latter became more and more noticeable as he continually watched Justin playing guitar. But unlike with most feelings that he had, he did not push it away. Instead, he allowed those lingering eyes of his to feast on the sights that were on offer as much as they liked, another thing that maybe he had once done in the presence of the younger male but had some to a swift end when they parted.
Yet unlike the intensity of that tumultuous break up, in those seconds, his gaze was soft. And his touch was too when he could not stop a hand from reaching out and brushing away a loose tendril of Justin's hair when, because his head had bobbed and moved and grooved in time to the melodies that he had been playing, separated itself from the rest of his locks.
With a sudden clanging together of strings, Justin's playing came to an abrupt halt and he stared into the very core of Eli as he plainly flinched, shuddering the touch of the older man away from him.
In return, that same man was given permission for a scoff to escape from the back of his throat, lips of his naturally forming together and pouting and a shake of his head being portrayed in a different manner.
"After I come all of this way to check on you? Seriously?" Eli could not stop his voice from hardening in a way that was not steely but still noticeable in texture compared to how he had been talking in the hallway. Even talking moments before.
And it was as though Justin was planning on this, he was manipulating this so he could finally speak in the same manner in return, rather than just allowing his body language and his gesticulations to shout out for him, showing that wounds of their recent break up were not only raw but they had not even begun to close up.
"And why did you do that?" he half sneered in return for half a second. But that was all that he could manage. He had once been an expert who pored over each and every page of the book that was Elijah. And to that fateful day, he could still read him like that same book. "How did you know to come here?"
For some reason Justin decided to change his tune, to change his words when he saw Eli's head beginning to tilt from the other way and those long eyelashes of his had started to grove together. Whatever the reason, he did not want to hear the answer of what he had asked before so he glossed over it, quickly speaking something else that would lead to answers that Justin already knew.
He knew heartache was the most painful thing that he would not wish on anybody. But at least he knew it. He was in pain but it least it was something he knew. Justin did not wish to have new feelings pushed on him from whatever new words that Eli could concoct just for him.
"Your dad told me that you had left and he was very certain that, for whatever reason, you had come to Unova and you were with me." Eli started and Justin managed to listen. A torrent of wind exuded from his nostrils at a certain part as if to say 'as if'. "Why did you leave like that, Justin?" Apparently reading each other like a book in that way was the single mutual thing between them. Eyelashes danced and twitched. Eli recoiled as he realised. "Why did you have to leave…? Was it me…?"
And as the Unovan male wondered these words, his long, thick and black eyelashes danced on his face all the more and spoke of not only the surprise that what he had feared was being proven correct, but the remorse that Justin would never be able to read that he had led the younger male from bad to worse.
Eli had once believed they were soul mates, not that he would have ever admitted to it or even used that cliché word. But now he realised that they were destined to live the same exact life and the same exact events, albeit in a different order.
As his chest started to push closer to Justin before crawling back towards his own being over and over again, Justin misread these signals and he suddenly snapped, thinking that all Eli cared about was making a false good impression on his parents. Well it was too little too late! For both of them.
"Not everything is about you, Elijah." He snapped towards him, his eyes contradicting the snarl of his mouth and the tiniest part of the tiniest corner closing together and almost glinting though it could have been a trick of the light. But from what, it was entirely unknown.
However, Eli knew that look. And he knew that a name once spoken only by Justin out of fondness was then being used to get under his skin – and to prove that he had buried there once, finding out each and every thing about him that there was to see.
It took every part of the older man not to jump out of his seat, but he could not stop his shoulder from lurching and twitching and his chest to move inwards and outwards like he was a balloon being caught between being inflated and deflated.
"Don't you dare even go there, you…" Jawline contorting like it had never contorted before, Eli's voice reached a whole new level of husky as he began quipping back to Justin.
Unlike how when Misty had spoken the word 'you' as a pet name that had been entirely new and perhaps uncertain but well-intentioned all the same, Eli's was spoken out of not knowing what on earth to call the person sat next to him and putting on such a high and mighty attitude that it was mind boggling even for him.
He wasn't just Justin. He had never been just that to him. But he wasn't any sickeningly sweet or pet name under the sun at that point. He certainly was not that bright and dazzling thing in the sky either. Eli did not know what he was.
He had seen traits of this person bubbling and brewing. But the full spectrum of him was a whole other ball game. And all he could think was, had he caused this? What had he done to deserve causing this?
Justin's eyes dropped down towards the jawline that was growing more clenched with each second that passed and he watched lips speaking words that were the opposite end of the spectrum of the ones that had once whispered sweet nothings to him during a time that felt like a hazy life time ago.
When that gaze of his pinged back up, he retorted in return himself. He would always fight fire with fire when it came to Eli. And that was the problem.
"Oh, what will you possibly call me today, Elijah?" Justin began, the recklessness of using his real name which had once been so treasured and cherished like the precious secret that it was as a weapon. That was how things usually went down for them. Magic shifting shape and being used to fuel fire. "What name under the sun do you have left to slap on me? Surely there is none left, is there, Lij?"
In the split second after Justin egged Eli on in this way, it was a very real possibility that those gritted teeth of his would be used to speak the words 'shut up' which would have surely led Justin to do the opposite of the sentiment of that phrase.
However, for some reason and somehow, seeing that glint in the younger male's eye and witnessing him doing something so purposely and so intricately to get a reaction out of him, made something entirely switch inside Eli. For some reason and somehow, it made him tell the truth even more passionately.
Justin with a twisted smirk tugging up his lips had only just enough time to put his guitar down on the ground along with long forgotten about cereal and tea when those hands of his that had been empty for just a second were both gripped on.
Fury yet a level of deep emotion in his gaze, Eli suddenly grabbed his hands and looked right at him, deciding that he could not be mad at him in the way that Justin wanted.
"You had me worried sick, Justin!" he suddenly told him, a shake of the head and a purposeful blinking of eyes making them appear steady and dry rather than how they longed to truly be. "Do you realise what happened the last time I lost contact with Jordan?!" a harrowing silence would be given its chance to ring out in due course. "I fucking care about you…"
And with that, Eli did not want to hold Justin's hands anymore and Justin did not wish for them to be held in the first place. With a yank of his own arm, Eli dropped the digits of the younger male and in return, he gladly tugged them away from him, that silence taking over the scene and being the only thing that spoke for a handful of minutes.
There appeared to be always time for a competition when it came to the two of them and granted, they could give each other a run for their money at the best of times but in that instant, it was a close one with regards to who could have the more austere jaw. And who could look away for the longest.
Following his poignant outburst, Eli attempted to compose himself and ran a hand through the curls on the top of his head which were, in his mind, as damp as Justin's. Then, those same fingers of his rubbed and traced over the centre of his forehead, easing the throbbing sensation that was often then present in the presence of the younger male.
Justin's lips pressed so tightly together that they wavered from being a straight line and began to wander towards a helpless u shape. Understandably, he could not look at Eli. For a few minutes, he could not look at Eli.
But then out of nowhere, he began to get the urge to act as honestly as him, no matter what. His mouth still the same shape as before and not controlling the weather in his eyes as well as the older male before him, he looked over at the man who appeared flushed from head to toe and he wondered aloud.
"And why would you do that…?" he whispered, his words falling further apart from each other with each word that was spoken and within his own eye sockets, his irises were dancing left to right, unable to fixate on the same point but not giving them permission to look away for long either.
Justin could see the moisture bubbling in the corners of Eli's nostrils, though he told himself that it was due to something different. His vision continually was filled with the silhouette of that same man as he watched his brown skin return to its usual colour from being emotionally flushed, like a downpour on sand slowly washing away and leading to a drought.
Eli refused to speak until he had something to say. Because he could feel the younger male faultlessly staring at him and out of habit, he could not resist the urge of looking back due to curiosity as much as anything else, he soon enough found his own voice that was far quieter than in moments before.
He matched Justin's tone. And it wasn't intentionally either. Neither of them had the energy for raised voices anymore. They could get their points across by looking right at one and together and muttering their truth.
"I just care about you…" Eli reaffirmed and for the first couple of seconds, Justin's gaze hardly moved as though he was listening to a piece of fiction that barely interested in him so and just brushed over his head. Maybe this caused Eli to add. After all, they both liked reactions from each other. "Even though you don't deserve it and you're annoying and you're bratty and you push me away over and over again…"
He began and deeply contrasting the hushed quality of his voice, for some reason, his words had never been more certain.
And in similar ways, although Justin longed to look away and turn his ears off because he was basically being insulted, he listened the entire time and his gaze remained fixed as well.
A couple of seconds after Eli had been giving a chance, Justin had his moment in the sun as well, his own voice not rising or declining an inch.
"Shut up, Elijah…" Justin warned him. 'Warned' is a loose word. Again, it's almost an inaccurate word. He simply stated, his eye not glittering in the same way as before and Eli knew that he was not purposefully trying to get a reaction out of him like he had done in times before.
It was as though they were together again when his true name rolled off Justin's tongue out of complete habit.
Maybe this was why after adjusting his body and leaning further back against the sofa but his stance remaining as poised as ever, Eli looked back and while he did not retaliate, he did indeed respond yet again.
"I care about you, Justin…" he began another time and it was almost fortunate that he went on to do what he did because the abrupt sincerity of the way that he started was enough to put a hole in the side of Justin's cheek in a way that was composure that could quickly turn to joy – or despair. "Even though I shouldn't because you have driven me crazy lately, you're still worth coming all this way and checking on because you're frustrating and beautiful and stubborn and sweet and so…"
Justin would never go on to find out what he was 'so'. Utterly confused by the conflicting messages in Eli's words, however, he also somehow understood them more than he had understood anything from Eli in quite a long time.
Nonetheless, he went on to say those words all over again.
"Shut up, Eli…" he began and that time, he spoke the name that he was more commonly known. Again, this was both intentional and unintentional. It was both a game and it was both deadly serious. Mostly, it happened in the spur of the moment. Because most of his energy was focused on doing what he did next.
Barely one second after he had told Eli to 'shut up' from all the words he was speaking, both kind and unkind, his eyes fluttered shut and then his hands moved to roam through the locks of the Unovan male that a part of him that had longed to lose himself in from the moment that he first walked through the door.
Before either one of them could focus properly on what was happening, lips found each other again and they found each other in a whole new way as Eli could not stop himself from indeed being shut up. Unlike how it was before, their kiss did not begin as an intense hunger which slowly mellowed out as they longed to explore each other in a more savoured and cherished way.
Showing that they could both switch up together equally as much as they could do on each other, their kiss started sweet, like one of their first ones and like one of them if not both of them did not really know what they were doing.
But the more that they remained close and then when Eli's hand found itself cupping yet constricting around the side of Justin's face where a dimple was showing off its own smile resided for the first time on at least that day, things started to speed up.
They became more each other as their lips didn't part. And in that kiss, they told everything. How mad they were. How lonely they had been. How they still desired each other. But they would never stop hating each other for how they had treated themselves and each other.
One thing that was still not told on that day, though, was the truth and nothing but the whole truth. After Misty had come back to check on the scene like she had promised, she found them in a state of utter confession without saying anything at all. What followed that, surprisingly, was almost a level of bliss.
In the presence of Misty, they got on far better than they had done in recent weeks, even the last week or so of their relationship. It really seemed as though things had been put behind them. Eli had come all the way from Unova to Kanto to make sure Justin was okay and that had to mean something, didn't it?
While he never truly expressed it with words, he never allowed Justin to think that they were finally on the same page after all and wanted same things, this was a message that Justin through no fault of Eli's own ended up receiving anyway.
Oh, such a long drop from the top. And such a harsh facing of reality all over again when Justin, Eli and Misty all stepped outside of the house to proceed to the car later on in that day, in the afternoon to go and collect Jessika and Rey back from school. And I tell you now; the harshness did not stop with just Justin. Eli was not spared. In fact, he was equally as brutalised.
You see, in the second that they all stepped out towards the car and Eli sensed the silhouette of a man approaching the house, purely out of habit, Justin's hand that he had been entwining close to his had been dropped. The younger of the two could've turned around to face the man who had decided to subtly leave him in the dust but his attention was garnered by the familiar stride of the person coming towards them.
The familiar stride. The stance. The outline. Then when he approached closer, the skin tone. The tattoos hidden mostly from behind seasonal clothes. The features.
Justin did not try to get revenge on Eli dropping his hand as soon as someone else was in the proximity. It was unintentional. But it worked brutal wonders.
Justin's hands quickly made their way into the pockets of his tight skinny jeans and were practically embedded into the linings when Sammy approached their gang swiftly, Misty only having a chance to look over at Eli and Eli not prepared for what was coming.
Something lurched inside both the heart and stomach of Justin at the wounded gaze that befell Sammy's own dark features, apparently not the only one who had come a long way to make sure that he was safe.
"What is going on here…?" Sammy started to wonder, his throat growing dry like the home terrain of both Eli and his home regions respectively, his lower lip threatening to tremble with dismay as he could have sworn he knew what he saw.
However, his eyes did not have the chance to flicker to Eli whom he had always been wary of. Out of nowhere, Justin's hands were no longer in his pockets and they were on the face of Sammy. And he was looking at his former long-term boyfriend with more insistence than he had ever gazed upon him with before.
"I didn't come here to meet up with him." Justin started, not needing to say names and no names needing to be uttered for the presence of Eli to prick up and yet bow closer to the ground all in one. Hands still on Sammy's cheeks, he was unable to attempt to turn his head yet again because Justin's reassuring touch was not faltering on him. "Why the hell would I want to do that…?"
He asked and between his words and his touch, he had succeeded at his exact intention. Sammy had been mollified. Sammy had been reassured. Sammy knew that he was the only one who Justin looked for despite what had happened between the two of them.
A smile on either side of Justin's fingers was stretched outwards and a nod of the head came which showed belief and compliance.
Misty could not believe any of what she was seeing. At that point, she wasn't even seeing Eli. He had seen all that he needed to see. And he did not wish to see any of their faces for a very long time, especially not the face of the man who just a few hours ago, he had caressed and spoke in his own way, right from his heart.
When he saw those same fingers that had roamed through his locks, then on the face of Sammy, he had seen all too much.
Walking away off into the distance and the black veil of his hoodie being pulled over and concealing his features, Eli had seen all too much and therefore knew one thing and one thing alone.
That was the last time he would open his heart to Justin Morgan. In fact, that was the last time that he would open his heart to anyone. That chapter was closed. Their story had ended. Never again would he care about that man. Never again would he care at all.
The End.
There you go! Thanks so much for reading and I hope you enjoyed :) To tell you the truth, this was a bit of a hard one for me to read through. This one delves into heartache quite a lot. Sometimes it seems a little bit exaggerated but that is because Justin told Pikachu all of this from his point of view. I never want to say he is exaggerating, though. Just feeling things intensely as one does when going through a break up. He and Eli can get pretty unpleasant with each other, can't they? This chapter makes a lot of people look bad. It's amazing they all come back after this and not only that, Sammy encourages Justin to try it again with Eli after their final break up about 6 years after this chapter :D Thanks again for reading and I will be back again on Wednesday with another chapter so see you then!
Amy signing out :)