Chapter 33 Thief of Eyes

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"THIS POWER HAS NOT CONSUMED ME!" Ravenna shouts. My eyes lift to her. Never have I seen her lose her composure like that. Never. She stops herself and sucks in a deep breath. "It has only saved those I love, and it is about to save again." She looks down at me sharply. "Your father has little time left. You must act now or lose him forever!"

It grows hard to breathe. Time is short. I look at the dwarf, up at Ravenna, and back at the dwarf. Time is short, but everyone except Ravenna says this power is evil. I feel it's evil within me ready to spring and flow out of me. It wants to take the dwarf's life, but there's something else in me telling me how wrong this is.

"The King is near death, sister!" Finn says. "A moment more, he'll be gone!"

"Snow, you must act now!" Ravenna takes my hand and places it over the dwarf's leather vest, over his heart. "Look down your arm to your hand and clutch his heart. Walk the strand of hair. Do not look back at your life lest you give it to him, and take all his life. Your father's wound is mortal and requires a whole life to mend it."

"Do not do this, Princess," the dwarf says, his voice raspy with old age, but it carries the calmness of wisdom with it. "I'm telling you this not for my sake, but for yours."

"Take his life," Ravenna says beside my ear. She moves to stand behind me and grips my shoulders. "Do not look back at your life. Doing so may kill you."

"Sister!" Finn says. I dig my fingers into the dwarf's chest, not piercing him, but somehow I reach into the darkness of his chest and take his beating heart in my hand. The dwarf gasps with pain and lurches forward, grabbing onto my arm! I jump back, startled, but Ravenna keeps me rooted to my spot.

"There!" Ravenna says, squeezing my shoulders painfully. "His life is in your hand. Now take every year, every day, every moment he has. Take it all. Your Papa needs it."

The dwarf cries out in agony. "My eyes," he says between each agonizing breath he takes. "I–I cannot…see." He lifts his eyes to mine. His eyes are no longer green, clear and healthy, but they have a milky haze over them. I…I took his sight!

"Do not stop!" Ravenna says. "You must take and take from him until he is ash at your feet! Hurry!"

My heart constricts. I…I cannot do this. I took his sight. I cannot take anymore! I cannot kill him, not even to save Papa. It'll be murder.

"Take!" Ravenna shakes my shoulders.

I choke on my sudden sobbing. "I–I can't!"—Wood clanks together! My eyes fly open. There are wood beams above me, orange and black shadows shifting across them. My chest is tight. My heart thumps in my ears. More wood clanks together! My head turns to the sound. A woman crouches before the large hearth, tossing a chopped log onto the fire.

She glances over her shoulder and sees me. She stills, her eyes filling with worry. "I'm sorry, did I wake you!?" she whispers.

"Uh…" I prop myself on my free elbow and look about. Torrance is sleeping soundly beside me, his hands resting on his stomach. I glance at the bar. It is deserted. I look over my shoulder. Not too far away, the father is fast asleep with his son and daughter in his arms. The other travelers who have settled on the Inn's floor for the night are still fast asleep. Right, the Inn. Vilgard. The Heist. That dwarf, Beith, convinced Eric to leave with him. My heart drops back into my chest. I let go of my breath, my body sinking. I wish Eric was here now. Being in his arms...it eased my nightmares. I force my eyes back to the worried woman crouched before the hearth. "No," I lie to her, a pang in my heart for her guilt. "My eyes were closed, but I was awake. I just startle easily."

"I'm glad I didn't wake you." The worry leaves her face, making room for a small smile. "I'm Josie. I help my father run the Inn."

"Oh," I croak. Ansley's daughter. She is a typical Taboran with her long black hair, pale skin, and dark eyes. Her face is a bit too round, but she is still pretty. Silence comes between us. I can't help the awkward feeling. I squirm on my blankets. She's waiting for me to introduce myself, but I'm too tired to utter her name as mine right now.

Her eyes shift to Torrance and linger...for a breath too long. She looks back at me. "Forgive me for asking, but..." She leans closer to me, putting her face so close to mine that I feel her breath on me. I wince as I lean back from her. She doesn't seem to notice me leaning away when she whispers, "You're not with him, are you?"

My brows furrow. "Uh...no?" What is she even asking me?

"Oh good," she says, relieved. My brows furrow more. Relief from what? She smiles coyly and creeps her way to Torrance. "You won't mind if I borrow him then, will you?" She stops at his side and looks up at me. "I saw you in the company of that big blonde fellow after all."

"Uh-huh?" This is all so weird. Am I still asleep, dreaming this up?

The woman's smile grows as she stoops towards Torrance and plants her mouth on his! My eyes pop. "What are you!—" Torrance hums as he rouses from sleep and smiles into the kiss. I watch bug eyed as the two part, his eyes fluttering open to look into Josie's.

"Josie," he murmurs and cradles her cheeks in his hands. "What a pleasant surprise to wake to."

She giggles. "My father's finally asleep. Come." She pulls one of his hands from her face and helps him to his feet. "I know a place where we can go for a bit."

"Music to my ears," Torrance says softly, a grin shaping his mouth. Josie starts to lead him to the door, but he halts her. "Hold on, Josie, I need to–oh!" His eyes widen upon seeing me. "I'm sorry, did we wake you?" he asks me, concerned.

My brows relax, the confusion clearing from my mind like a fog lifting. "No, you both did not wake me." Last morn with Eric creeps into my mind, how he teased me with his words and his mouth. Another breath leaves me, my chest sinking. Josie and Torrance...if Eric was still here, would that be us instead sneaking off to...well, probably not because of my feet, but I'm not ignorant of what Josie and Torrance are sneaking off to do. A pang of jealousy enters my heart. If only Eric was here. God, I don't want to be reminded of it now!

Torrance frowns down at me. "Are you alright?"

"I'm fine." I look at Josie. She stands there, her face shaped with sympathy, but also with impatience. I look back at Torrance. "Go on, you two, before you're both caught."

"Come," Josie says, tugging on Torrance's hand.

"Try to sleep," he tells me. Unable to resist her nagging anymore, the pair tiptoe across the inn to the door. I watch them as Josie opens the door just enough for the two to slip out into the night and pull the door shut behind them.

I sigh again, staring at the closed door. Not too long ago Eric walked out that door with Wessel. Where is Eric now? What is he doing at this moment? I force myself to lie back down on the blankets Torrance had gotten from Ansley. No matter how much I want to, I cannot take my eyes from the door. I know it will be at most two days, but I wish that door would open now and Eric would stroll in. God, please let him return safe. I haven't had the strongest faith in you, but if you are to answer any prayer, answer this one. Let Eric return safe. There is so much between us that is unsaid and unfinished. Too much to just let it all end here.

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I make an earnest attempt to sleep, but I only manage to keep my eyes closed until the front door creaks open. I almost open my eyes, but I keep my eyes shut and my face turned towards the warmth and glow of the fire. The snickering lovers grow louder as they creep back to me. They stop beside Torrance's spot that he had vacated sometime ago.

"Sleep well, my love," Josie says, her voice oozing like heavily sugared honey. I cringe, almost tasting the overbearing sweetness. While the words themselves are fine, the way she said it...far too sweet for me. Eric has not been so sweet as he has been...raw. Perhaps a bit crass. He's not a man of fancy words, which I...it's refreshing.

"You too," Torrance murmurs. A wet parting of mouths reaches my ears. A pair of footsteps slowly recedes while the floor creaks beside me. Torrance must be settling down on his blankets. I hum softly, pretending to sleep. I remember how much of a sucker I was for all those silly romantic gestures; the sugary names, the handfuls of flowers, the gifts of small baubles, even those damn poems about a man's undying love for the object of his desire! Never did I imagine then that I would one day be so grateful to a man for giving me his waterskin, for giving me his coat to wear, for carrying me out of certain death when he could have left me behind. Never did I dream that I would give much of my heart to that same man. Never did I expect that I would rebel against my brother by kissing that same man in front of him! All those silly romantic gestures the young ladies of the Court would brag about...they are nothing to what Eric has sacrificed for me.

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People start rousing from their sleep. Whispers here and there flit to my ears. Slowly, more and more people awake for the day. Footsteps make their way down the stairs. Soon, the whispers grow to soft chatter. I open my heavy eyes. Day twenty-nine. I roll my head along the floor, my eyes meeting Torrance's as he approaches with a serving tray in his hands.

"Good morn!" He beams down at me, stopping before his mess of blankets.

I force a smile for him as I use my left arm to sit up. "Morning, Torrance."

"You slept well, I hope?" he asks as he stoops down, setting the serving tray on the bit of empty floor between our blankets. My eyes widen. There is a hearty assortment of meats, several different bread loafs, and different cheeses along with steeped tea that's still steaming.

I smirk and look up at Torrance. "I got more sleep than usual. Now, would this breakfast have anything to do with a certain...friend?" I pick the word carefully in case Ansley or any other unsavory ears are close by.

Torrance's smile grows as he sits on his blankets and grabs the breadknife off the serving tray. "Maybe," he says. "Having certain friends comes with certain perks."

"You speak like a nobleman," I scoff as he grabs the half loaf of bread and cuts into it.

Torrance bursts out laughing as he cuts two thick slices from the loaf and sets them before me. "I've seen all that Court drama standing behind the lowest seats. I didn't want to get mixed up in all of that just to make my voice heard." He cuts two thick slices of bread off the loaf for himself, sets the breadknife aside, and layers his bread with meat and cheese. "Too much to lose, too little to gain."

My heart grows heavy. I remember those Court meetings that Papa would drag me to. While publicly he was showing me my place as future Queen should he never have a son, in secret he was teaching me the ways of men. I remember well that day in his study before he took me to my fourth Court meeting.

"Why make me go to those Court meetings, Papa?" I complained. "All those fat nobles do is yell at each other!—"

"Hush!" Papa put his finger to my mouth, silencing me. He gripped my shoulders and leaned in closer, whispering, "These walls have ears."

My eyes widened and a chill went down my spine. I looked left and right to the bookcases full of lawbooks. Could there really have been someone hiding on the other side of those bookcases with their ears to the walls?

"Snow, you must understand I'm bringing you to Court because you are the King's daughter. My daughter. I have no son, so my crown will go to whoever you marry."

"William," I whispered. I already knew then that he was the future king, and I was to be his future wife and queen.

"Right," Papa affirmed. He took my hands and folded them in his large, warm ones. God, I remember how warm his hands were. How I miss them. "Snow, your mother and I are the only ones who stand between the Court and my people. The Court would make slaves of my people if they could. When my reign is over, yours must begin through William. Though you may not speak before the Court, you must speak through your future husband...and King. You and William will be the only ones standing between my people and slavery...your future people."

My breath leaves me. My future people. My people…

"Eat up!" Torrance says.

I shake my head, coming back to this present moment. Torrance points to the meal he has fixed for me; generous layers of meat and cheese sit between the two thick slices of bread he had cut for me.

"Thank you," I say.

"Of course!" Torrance takes a bite out of his meal and sips slowly from his steaming tea. I carefully pick up the meal with my left hand, minding my blistered fingers beneath my wraps. They don't sting as bad as they did yesterday. I almost take a bite of my food, but that memory of Papa and me in his study comes back and haunts me. Though you may not speak before the Court, you must speak through your future husband...and King. My father...he was a revolutionary. He was so bold that he was accused of treason several times. Of course those were baseless accusations that never gained ground, but to still hear an enraged noble shout it at Papa...it frightened me. It was almost blasphemous when Papa vouched for that old dwarf to join his personal Council...that old dwarf whose sight I stole.

I look up at Torrance as he greedily consumes his meal. There he sits looking so content with his life. I shake my head at him, my mind more addled by his apparent content with a fugitive's life. "I don't understand you," I tell him.

His chewing slows, his brows furrowing. "I'm sorry?" he asks, his mouth full of chewed food. He gulps down his bite.

I shake my head at him again. "You said you had too much to lose if you tried to speak up. What could you have possibly lost?"

His eyes widen. "My life! And the lives of those I care for and love! I'd rather just…" he shrugs his shoulders "...just leave the nobles to themselves. They eat each other up and either spit themselves out or shit themselves out, whichever comes first."

My heart grows heavier. "I'm sorry you feel that way. My—" I catch myself. There's no need for Torrance to learn my true name. Not yet, anyway. "King Magnus…" what my father did to Eric's brother haunts me. I do my best to ignore it. "He was no saint, but he was also not wicked. He may have sometimes been ruled by his emotions, but what man grieving his dead wife and murdered friends wouldn't be?"

Torrance's face falls. Whether Eric came to his mind or not, I'm not sure, but Eric agreed to hunt me down with the promise that Ravenna could resurrect Sara. Any man with a sober mind would have realized that is a lie, but sometimes emotions...they can possess even the wisest of men.

"King Magnus was a good man who loved his people...us," I say, dipping my chin to Torrance. "He gave up everything for us. He and his true Queen were the only ones who stood between us and tyranny. If a King was willing to speak up for his people, why should the people stay silent? You have a strong voice, Torrance. Did you value it so little that you never spoke up at Court? I know the King would have heard you."

"And done what?" he asks me, his eyes sad and grave. "King Magnus and his true Queen…" he sighs "...they were nothing more than figureheads. Sure, King Magnus may have softened the Court's oppressive rulings, but did he not bring his murder upon himself in the end? Did he not lose his daughter and his kingdom?" My heart stutters. His daughter—me. Torrance shakes his head at me. "I tried to speak up once...and it didn't end well for anyone. Ask Eric. Ask Locke! It was better to run away and stay away. I lead my own life now because I ran. And you," he nods at me, "you can run away, too, and lead your own life."

Guilt constricts about me like a mighty snake coiling about my chest. "But what about the others?" I look about the Inn at the people chattering away as they eat their rationed meals. Men, women, children, young and old, able bodied and decrepit, all mingle together as one. One people...my people. "Many of them can't run away!"

Torrance looks about and shrugs. "Yeah," he nods, looking back at me, "but why are they your concern? The only ones you should be concerned about are Eric and yourself! I think that after your fourteen years of imprisonment, you deserve a bit of happiness. After all the shit Eric's been through, he deserves some happiness too. I see it in him. That renewed vigor in him, that want to live…that's your doing."

My guilt crushes me, but from the depths of my depravity arises that hope once more—that I might find happiness with Eric. My head twitches to look at all the people surrounding me again, but I stop it from turning. Sara, Eliza, Wessel and Greta saying that I could go to Hammond's where his army amasses...that's futile. Ravenna has many powers. If she could take over a kingdom with her powers alone, she can easily hold onto said kingdom wielding those same powers. Hell, she would crush us in an instant! I've seen the waves of the Gastean Sea bend and mold to her command. No doubt she'd raise the seas against us if Hammond's army was charging down the shoreline. It's futile to try to reclaim this land from her. It would not only result with Ravenna carving my heart out of my chest, but it would also end in the deaths of countless fathers, brothers, sons, husbands, uncles!

I can't forget about everyone else and just worry about Eric and me as Torrance suggested, but running away to lead my own life...it's a beautiful thought. No one will tell me where I can and cannot go, what I can and cannot do, what I can and cannot say, hell, what I can and cannot eat and wear! No one can even command me who I can and cannot be with. I can determine all of that for myself. If Eric can accept that I won't live beyond a year...then I can finally be happy. I can finally be free.

I look up at Torrance, still clutching my breakfast that I have yet to take a bite of. He puts the last of his food into his mouth and chews. "Torrance," I say, pulling his gaze to me while he chews, "you're right. You're absolutely right. There's nothing we can do against Ravenna. She's an unconquerable force. This kingdom is forever hers, but what I can do is choose for myself how my life will end. I want to be happy. I want to be free. I want to die in the arms of the man I…" My voice fails me. Do I truly love Eric? True love cannot be built on lies...or can it? So long as it is not the lie of my true name, but rather the lie of an illness that cripples my heart so much that I cannot live beyond twenty five years—

"My dear, if that's how you truly feel, then you'd be a fool to not pursue the source of your happiness," Torrance says with such conviction that it almost soothes the underlying guilt...of choosing myself over my people. He picks up his cup of tea and sips from it. "Mm," he hums and holds his cup up to me. "This is the best tea I ever had."

"Good." It's all I can say. There is nothing I can do against Ravenna. She is an unconquerable force. It is only sensible that I pursue the source of my happiness—Eric.

I take a good sized bite out of my breakfast and chew, the tang of the cheese mingling well with the saltiness of the meat and the sweetness of the bread. I will think no more of this. I have rationalized this to the bones. My heart is decided. No one can alter the course that I have set for my life.

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We soon finish breakfast. Josie comes by and picks up our empty serving tray. I catch the lingering looks and the knowing smirks Josie and Torrance give each other. I nearly snicker at the overly sweet sight, but Eric surfaces. No doubt I have given him a lingering look. Perhaps a knowing smirk has turned up my mouth despite my best efforts to suppress it. My shoulders slump beneath my guilt. I have no ground to laugh at Josie and Torrance's affections.

When Josie finally breaks her eyes from Torrance and saunters back to the bar with an exaggerated sway of her hips, Torrance speaks up. "I'm going to go speak with Ansley to see if any rooms are available now, maybe snatch it up before somebody else gets wind of it."

I drop my eyes to Torrance, a wicked grin spreading my mouth. "You're a bold man," I tease, keeping my voice low so others won't overhear. "Would it not be wise for the hunter to put some distance between himself and his fox lest he alert her wolf father?"

His face almost turns sour with his snort. "He's a wolf alright!"

We both burst out laughing as Torrance clambers to his feet and scoops his blankets off the ground. "Would you like me to carry you over to a table?" he asks, his laughter ebbing.

My laughter dies, but my smile stays. "Oh no." I shake my head."So long as I don't get stepped on, I'd prefer to stay here by the fire." I glance about me. Most everyone who spent the night on the floor have risen and cleaned up their messes. Only a young couple and an older man linger near the hearth with me, each of us occupying our own spaces.

"I don't think you'll be stepped on, my dear. I'll be back." Torrance turns and heads to the bar. A small giggle draws my eyes to the young couple. They cuddle together murmuring and giggling. The young lady and her lover...they look so happy. To think that could be possible for me in Eric's arms...if he'll truly accept how near my death is and that the blood of his brother's murderer flows through my veins. Will he accept all these things? Not just these things, but will he accept me?

"Hello," a soft voice says. I jolt and wheel about. Big green eyes widen with horror. "Forgive me, milady, I did not mean to scare you!"

"No, no, it's alright!" My eyes bounce up and down the man—all four feet of him! His stout body, his red hair and beard— "You're a dwarf!" The words are out of my mouth before my shame hits me. Of course he's a dwarf, you idiot!

He laughs, his eyes crinkling at the corners. God, he sounds as nervous as I feel. "I know I'm a bit gicky." He gestures to himself, shifting from one foot to his other foot. What's left of my heart melts at the sight of him. He is like a nervous child.

"Aw, you're not gicky!" I say, chuckling. "You're perfect the way you are."

"Oh gee," he gushes, his cheeks turning pink. "Thanks."

My smile turns sweeter. "It's refreshing to see a kind face. What's your name?"

His smile grows. "Gus. I saw you with Torrance earlier." He nods back at the bar where Torrance stands speaking with Ansley. "Are you...Greta?" he asks carefully.

My smile nearly leaves me, but I force it to stay. I loathe uttering her name as my own. I merely nod, eager to move beyond the lie. "Gus...I recall that name from last evening." I wrack my memories from last evening and find the exact memory. "Ah yes! Beith! He said that a Gus and a Muir were staying behind."

He grins wider and jabs his thumb into his chest. "I'm that Gus!"

I can't help but giggle. He's so sweet and lively.

He lets his child-sized hand fall to his side as he says, "I stayed behind to help Muir. He's…," Gus trails off, his smile lessening. "He's got a hard time seeing."

My smile falls. Those fogged eyes flash across my sight. My stomach tightens while my heart picks up. "A hard time seeing, what do you mean?" I ask, so close to panic.

The last of Gus' smile fades. "He's blind."

"Oh God," I whisper, panic gripping me.

"The poor man lost his sight about fourteen years ago—"

"Where is he now!?" I ask, nearly squeaking. I cannot look at him! I cannot see those fogged eyes that I created lest I fall apart in front of everyone!

Gus frowns and points to his right. "He's over there enjoying his breakfast. I just wanted to come over and say hello. Should I not have?"

"Oh no, no!" I shake my head and rest my left hand on his arm. "I'm glad you came over and said hello! Truly!" I take my hand from him. "I'm just…" tears sting my eyes "...I'm so sorry—about Muir." God, how is this possible!? Is this even happening!? How is it that after fourteen years, I end up in the same room as the dwarf whose sight I stole...the dwarf who I was going to murder? My stomach clenches about something dark and heavy in me. God, if I could somehow give Muir my eyes, I would stand on my frostbitten feet, hobble my way to him, and do so, but I have no idea how to do that. I gave him half of my years and it did not restore his sight! Who's to say that if I give him the remainder of my life, it would return his sight?

"Milady, are you alright!?" Gus asks me, alarmed. He places a hesitant hand on my shoulder.

"Oh, I'm fine." I sniffle back the water trying to drain from my nose. My eyes burn more, tears desperately needing to fall. "Gus, could you—I know we just met, but could you do me a favor?"

"Of course!" He nods eagerly.

I sniffle again and drag in a shaking breath. "Could you...could you tell Muir that I'm sorry? I'm so very sorry about his eyes."

"Uh...yes, I will," Gus says, sounding unsure.

"I know none of this makes sense to you, but please tell him for me." The tears well in the corners of my eyes, threatening to fall. I drop my chin. There's no need for sweet Gus to see me weeping. I've only known him for this moment, but already I know he will feel guilty for my tears.

"Gus!" Torrance greets with a grin as he comes up to us. I barely lift my teary eyes enough to see Torrance's brown boots stop near us. "Greta, are you crying?" he asks, suddenly concerned. "Gus, are you the one making her cry this time!?"

"No, he's not!" I scrub my eyes hard with my left sleeve, scratching my frost nipped cheeks, and force my chin up to Torrance. I drop my hand in my lap. "Torrance, I appreciate your concern, but anyone who knows me at all knows how labile I am! I can be laughing one moment and weeping the next. I startle easier than a hypervigilant cat!" I hold my free arm out, trying to make my words clearer. Whether I truly am labile or my tears are warranted, I do not know, but it's the most sound explanation I have to ward off Torrance's curiosity. "You know how women are," I say, though the words sting me. Sara, Eliza, Greta—all strong women. Sara was probably the strongest person I have ever met. Hell, she was probably stronger than Eric. Not in body, but in her mind, her spirit, and her heart.

"I guess," Torrance mutters and looks at Gus. "Gus, are you and Muir feeling charitable today?"

My brows furrow. Are they feeling charitable today?

"I'm sorry, how do you mean?" Gus asks, sounding as perplexed as me.

Torrance sighs, his shoulders dropping. "There's still no rooms available! Ansley claims he's got a damn waiting list seven days long! I'm not sure what's causing this mass migration, but I need a clean place to tend to this lady's injuries and this," he points down at the floor and shakes his head, "this is not the place to do it." He holds his hand out to Gus. "Would you and Muir be alright with giving up your room for her? Or at least sharing it?"

My eyes widen as Gus takes in breath to respond. "Torrance, no!" I say. "I will not impose on them!—"

"It is alright, child," a third voice says. My body stiffens. I have not heard that voice in fourteen years...not since that fateful night. "Please, take my room and my bed. The bed is too big for me anyways."

I dare not look at him! I avert my wide eyes to Torrance's boots and keep them there, shaking my head. "I cannot do that to you, good Sir. It goes against my conscience."

"And it will go against mine when I go up those stairs and leave you down here on the floor," Muir says gently, but there's a wit there that only comes with his age. "Now would you make me feel that guilt? Do you have the heart to do that to me?"

My eyes grow impossibly big. A mix of anger and stun fills me. I dare not curse the old dwarf, not aloud nor in my heart. How am I supposed to refuse him now without making myself seem cruel?

"You know just what to say," I say, still sparing my eyes of him. "You're too kind for your own good."

Muir laughs. "I know who to be kind to. Gus, would you show them to her room?"

"Of course! This way."

"This is good," Torrance says while he scoops me off the floor with my blankets. I force my eyes up to Torrance as he follows after Gus up the stairs. He smiles down at me. "You'll see. It'll give me the space to work and for you to heal. Have you made your decision about your feet?" We reach the top of the stairs and turn right down a hall with doors on both sides.

I slump in his arms. "No, I haven't. I'm sorry. My mind has been caught up with...other things."

His smile leaves him. "I'll take a look at your feet once we get settled and we'll go from there."

My stomach knots for what's to come. "Alright," I murmur.

"Here it is," Gus says. He stops at the very last door on the left. He pushes open the door, revealing a small, dimly lit room. "Let me get the curtains," he says as he waddles into the darkness. He goes to the window at the opposite end of the room and pulls back the curtains, letting daylight spill in.

"Thank you," Torrance says. He enters the room with me and sets me down on the bed. I sneak a peek at the room. It is rather small, but there's enough room for a small table with two chairs, a wardrobe, the bed, and a room divider hiding something. Perhaps a tub and a wash basin.

"It's kind of tight," Gus says, turning to face us. "Sorry about that."

The young dwarf lightens my mouth. "Some would call it cozy," I say with a smile.

Gus lights up like the sun itself. "You really like it!?"

I nod. "Of course I do." A guilty pang enters my heart, threatening to steal my smile. "Thank you for this, Gus. Could you also give Muir my thanks? I know I refused him at first, but I do greatly appreciate the sacrifice."

"Pff!" Gus waves me off with his hand. "Hardly a sacrifice, milady. I...I guess I should be going now?" He doesn't move at first, his green eyes going between Torrance and me.

"I would like the space to check her feet." Torrance grabs one of the chairs from the table and drags it to the side of the bed.

"Oh, of course," Gus says, his shoulders dropping. Slowly, he drags his feet towards the door. He stops at the threshold and turns to me, hope in his eyes. "Will I see you downstairs later?"

"Uh, I'm not sure." I shake my head, feeling as disappointed as the young dwarf. "I got frostbite on my feet and I can't really walk on them right now."

"Oh!" His face fills with worry. "I'm so sorry to hear that! Does it hurt?" He points at my wrapped feet.

I glance at my feet and shrug my good shoulder. "My toes are numb, but the rest of me feels fine." I look back at Gus and give him a sweet smile. "You have a good heart, Gus."

Gus smiles back at me, looking almost...starry eyed.

"Since you're heading downstairs, could you grab me two bowls?" Torrance asks, breaking Gus' trance. "The bowls need to be big enough for her to put her hands and feet in."

"Oh, yes! Right away!" Gus almost darts out the door, but he halts and wheels back to me. He bows deeply. "Milady!" He springs back up and pulls the door shut.

I can't help but giggle at his cuteness. "He's so cute!" I say, turning my head to Torrance.

Torrance laughs and sits down on the chair he brought to the bedside. "You caught his eye! Looks like Eric has some competition."

My eyes widen, my cheeks burning. "Torrance, it's not like that!"

He only laughs harder as he holds his hands out, waiting for one of my hands. My stomach knots some more, but I place my left hand in his. "I know, my dear," he says as he begins unwrapping my hand. He snorts suddenly. "I've never seen Eric get jealous over a dwarf, but who knows? There's a first time for everything!"

"That I have to see," I say. Eric...what is he doing now? Is he pulling off that heist at this moment with Locke, Wessel, Beith, and the other dwarves I have yet to meet? Worry churns my stomach and weighs on my heart. What is Eric going to do to that traitorous noble? Or did he already do it? The noble's crimes sound heinous enough, but to inflict punishment on others when you are no constable, reeve or Court member...it's asking for chaos. Eric has a good heart, but I've seen the carnage he can cause. The delvir wolves attacking us was self-defense. They sought us out, but this noble—Eric is hunting him down, a man I doubt he has ever met, with the intention of doing only Maker knows what to him. I can imagine Locke, Wessel, and the dwarves following Eric as he finds this noble's tracks in the snow with his trained eyes, tracks that are invisible to every other eye.

Torrance finishes unwrapping my hands. "Your hands are healing fast! That lamia bone works miracles," he says, grinning.

"Oh good," I spit out, forcing a smile for Torrance, but Eric consumes my mind. I barely see my hands, the blisters half the size they used to be. Was it not a month ago now that Eric was hunting me down to hand me over to Finn? He had never met me then. He did not know if I was innocent or not. He did not even know my name! Yet he still hunted me down...all so he could have Sara back.

Torrance begins unwrapping my left foot. Eric will learn my true name. I want him to know who I am...but I fear how he'll react if he knows what I am truly capable of. I had asked Torrance to not tell Eric of my three missing toes. If I know Eric at all, he would have said something to me if Torrance had told him about my missing toes. Torrance has kept his word. If I am to keep the sinister truth of what I did to Sara from Eric...Torrance lifts the last of the linen from my toes, revealing them. Completely black and numb with death.

Torrance sighs and lifts his sad eyes to me. "Lamia bones speed up healing, but they also quicken the death of—"

"Remove them." I gulp down my spit. Eric will see my feet eventually. Better he sees all my toes missing than to see the three that are already gone. He will not have that hint then.

Torrance nods slowly. "I can do it in the morning—"

"No." I shake my head. A small pang enters my heart. "I'm sorry to talk over you, but I...I fear infection. Do it now."

He takes a deep breath and holds onto it, his mind at work behind his eyes. "I have the tools, but I do not have the herbs I need to help with the pain. Hector has the herbs in his home, but he won't let me back in. If you wait until the morning, I can sneak into his house tonight and steal some!"

"No!" I shake my head, fear gripping me. "If Eric returns before tomorrow, he will see that I am already missing toes! Not only that, but Hector and you," Torrance's face falls, "I don't know what past is between you two, but if you get caught, we'll all be in trouble. It's not worth it."

His brows furrow, his eyes full with worry and bewilderment. "I understand your concern, but…" he draws in a breath, shaking his head "...why does it concern you if Eric sees that you're already missing toes?" He holds his hand out to my unwrapped foot. "Forgive me for asking that, but I hate to rush this. This will be very painful, but I can give you herbs to help—"

"I know!" I say, my voice sharper and louder. My heart stings more for interrupting him again. I draw in a slow breath, trying to soothe my churning stomach. "Please forgive me for being rude, but I can handle the pain. I...I fear infection and I don't wish to worry Eric. That is why I am pushing for you to remove them now." I nod down at my feet.

Torrance stays silent for a moment, only looking at me with sad, pitiful eyes. After what seems an eternity, he sighs. "Alright. But I need time to gather my tools and prepare. Let me see if I can get you some ale for the pain, at least." He gets up from his chair and turns to the door. "Where is Gus!?" he asks, throwing his hands up. "I sent him to go get those bowls." He drops his hands and starts for the door.

I frown at Torrance as he opens the door and steps out into the hall. "It's crowded down there," I tell him, pulling his gaze to me. "The bar is tall and Gus is short. He will find those bowls for you. Just give him time."

"Right," he grumbles, but he nods, seeming to accept my defense for the poor dwarf. "I'll be back." He closes the door after him, leaving me alone. Again. I let go of my breath and try to relax. I hear the faint hum of the patrons downstairs. The wind outside barely whistles. My eyes drop to the blackened, shriveled toes of my left foot. This will hurt...especially when he gets to my bones...but I need them all gone. Eric cannot see my three missing toes.

'''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''

I look out the dirty glass panes of the window, watching the last of daylight slip away. Metal clinks on the table, sending a sharp pang through my gut. My eyes fall to my seven toes. My head is a little swimmy from the ale I chugged down, but my anxiety and fear for the pain to come keeps me on edge.

"My dear...are you sure you want to do this now?" Torrance asks, breaking the silence.

I close my eyes and draw in a deep breath through my nose, filling my lungs. "Yes," I say. That's all I will say. I will not open my eyes until he is done. I will do my best not to scream from the pain.

Torrance lets go of a slow, reluctant breath. "Alright." His slow footfalls approach me. Wood shifts and creaks. He must have sat down on his chair. The weight of his hand presses on my knee. "I'll tell you what I'm going to do before I do it…that way you can prepare yourself...first, I've got to clean your feet."

The sound of water spilling into water pricks my ears—he's wringing the water out of a rag. The last few drops fall from the rag and strike the water.

"This water is warm." A warm rag envelopes my right foot, its fibers soft as he dabs my right foot clean and then my left foot. I cannot tell if he is or has cleaned my toes, though. They're numb. Dead. The warmth is almost soothing. Almost.

Too soon, he takes the warmth from my feet. "Alright...I am going to tie a tourniquet around your leg. It will lessen your blood loss." He slips something around my skinny calf and ties it off so tight that it hurts. I grit my teeth. "...Now I am going to start cutting. I'll start with your left foot." I gulp down my viscous spit. That's four toes he has to remove. Four.

A small pinch tickles the sole of my foot beneath my fourth toe. The pinch intensifies, slowly driving deeper into my foot. The pinch turns into a piercing ache that grows hotter and hotter. The pain grows so hot that it turns to fire. A whimper escapes me. I clench my teeth harder, trying to contain my need to cry out. Torrance strikes a taut cord deep in my foot. A sudden wave of hot, intense pain shoots up my leg and back that slams my chest, stealing my breath! My leg jerks away on its own, my lungs sucking in any air they can get.

He grabs my ankle tightly and forces my leg straight on the bed. "You cannot move!"

"I'm sorry!" I sob, tears being squeezed out of my shut eyes. "I'll try not to." My breathing becomes shallow, fast, erratic.

Torrance sighs. "I hit one of your nerves, I think. Are you sure you want me to continue? I have not gotten to your bone yet. I can go right now to Hector's—"

"No!" I shake my head, clenching my eyes harder. A sharp, burning pain throbs in my fingers from trying to clench them into fists. I welcome this pain and try to focus on it. "Just give me something to bite on...so I can scream and not wake anyone."

He sighs again, louder this time. "Alright." I wait for a breath's moment…and for another breath. Something flat and leathery brushes against my lower lip—like a belt. "Open your mouth."

I pry my jaw open, my throat muscles straining against the effort. Torrance carefully slides the leather between my teeth. The belt barely touches the corners of my mouth when my jaw clamps shut.

"I'm going to hold your leg down while I cut. Now when I reach the bone, I am not sure if I will sever your toe at the bone or at the joint. I have to see how far the necrosis has spread into your foot. I will let you know when I reach your bone."

I shake my head, biting into the leather belt so hard. "Just get this over with…" I whimper past the belt, distorting my words "...as quick as possible. Don't tell me more." Hot tears slip down my cheeks.

Torrance lets go of my ankle and brushes away the tears from my left cheek. "If that's what you want. I'll work as quickly and gently as I can. I'll leave as much of your foot as I can."

I can only nod twice before my neck grows too rigid to even turn my head. Torrance's hand disappears from my cheek. He grabs my ankle and pins my leg to the bed with frightening strength. The fiery pain pierces deeper into my foot! I cry out, the belt barely muffling me. My fingers clench more in their wraps, no doubt bursting open the blisters. The pain intensifies and goes deeper, sawing straight into my bones! I barely notice the warm fluid trickling down my foot.

The piercing fire spreads slowly across my foot, cutting through another taut cord that shoots pain through my whole body! My leg jerks itself, trying to escape the pain, but Torrance's iron grip keeps me pinned.

"I'm so sorry," Torrance says, his soft words barely reaching my ears amidst my muffled whimpers and sobbing. I barely feel my hot tears slipping down my cheeks and throat. I barely feel the perspiration soaking my trembling body. I barely feel the warm fluid seeping out of my ruptured blisters and soaking my linen wraps. All I really feel is my foot being cut into, my bones being sawed through, my taut nerves being snapped like a snapped bowstring, inflicting such fiery pain that throbs and spasms throughout my body. My heart thumps in my throat and pounds in my ears. My breathing is erratic, some breaths shallow and fast, some deep, some held for so long that my chest burns.

"That's it! I'm done! I'm done with your left foot!" Torrance releases my left ankle. His words instantly loosen my jaw enough to let me open my mouth. I gulp down deep, shuddery breaths. My body trembles beyond my control. Waves of cold and hot hit me at once, tormenting me more than the pain still shooting up and down my leg. God, my toes hurt dearly! Did he not remove them!? I do not want to open my eyes! Despite my loathing, my eyes pry themselves open. I gasp. Five stumps of red meat and ivory bits of bones are all that remain of my four toes. My red meat. My bones! All the blood drains from my head. The world spins. My eyes fall shut. I want to pass out! God, grant me this mercy!

"I tried to save as much as I could," Torrance says. "I've got to work on your right foot now."

"Oh God!" I sob, my chest and shoulders shaking. Why won't I pass out!? Why won't you let me!? Torrance wraps a tight tourniquet about my right calf. He grabs my ankle with that same frightening strength and pins my leg to the bed. My heart leaps into my throat. "Oh God!" I dig my teeth into the leather belt and brace myself for the pain to come. It's only three toes this time! Only three, just three!

"I'm going to cut now." The fiery pain pierces into my foot, nearly consuming me. I bite the belt harder and clench my eyes so hard, willing myself to not scream this time. The fire slowly spreads across my right foot, sawing through bone. Each nerve that Torrance cuts zaps through my body, the pain too much for me to even cry out. I focus on the battle of not crying out. I focus so hard, putting all my effort into staying silent. It almost...helps.

Time crawls by. I start to grow weary from this battle. I weep silently. My shuddery breaths are the only sounds escaping me, though I cannot hear my breathing. My heart pounds in my ears, a mercy to muffle the grinding of bones when Torrance saws through them.

"There! I'm done!"

I fall back into the bed. I barely make a sound. Only my shuddery breaths leave me as I weep. Something soft and cool presses across my forehead, soothing me.

"You did well," Torrance says softly, full of praise and admiration. "You did very well."

His praise lightens my heart. I want to tell him thank you. I want to so dearly, but all I can do is give him a single, jittery nod. He wipes the perspiration from my forehead with the cool cloth.

"I'm going to stitch up your feet now. Then I'll clean them and wrap them."

Thank God. Oh, thank God. It's done.