Noises woke me up. I don't know what time it is. Sometime during the night judging by the darkness outside the window. I definitely overslept.
I squint. I realise with some surprise the noises are made by dad who is walking about the room. Seeing him so active stagger me so much I'm straight away awake wrenching away my blanket.
'Dad' I exclaim.
He glances at me quickly keeping opening and closing drawers hastily.
'Do you know where my wand is?'
'Yeah' I stammer confused darting to take it from the drawer where the few things he had on him when they brought him here were stored.
He takes it from me shoving in his pocket.
He then takes his jacket and zip it on. Only when he stoops beside the bed, rummaging under it, I spot the brown bag. He takes it and wear it strap shoulder.
'Do you know how I can get out from here without being seen?' he asks wearing his shoes.
'There is a fireplace in the room at the end of the aisle. We use that one to go to the Burrow. At this hour I don't think anybody will be there. Are you going to the Burrow?'
But he doesn't answer anything as he goes toward the door.
'I'll come with you' I say eager sprinting to get my jacket from the hanger.
'You won't.' he says shaking his head darkly 'You are going back to Hogwarts'
'No dad. I thought about it. I can study at home.' I affirm thrusting my right arm in the sleeve 'There is no reason for me to go there'
Besides Rose of course, and that is a huge reason, but I cannot leave dad alone.
'Yes, there is every reason, and you are going. Tomorrow morning. As soon as grandma comes here'
'What about James?' my jacket is dangling from my shoulder; his firm sentences, her mean expression stating it, had frozen me in mid gesture.
'He is gone'
'When?'
'I don't know. He was already gone by the time I woke up.'
'And Sunny?'
'Gone too'
Watching his eyes, that had hardened considerably in the last exchange, I know I cannot drop the matter. He must know I'm on his side and I won't leave him alone.
'I'm coming with you' I state firm thrusting the other arm in the sleeve.
'Albus, I said no. You'll go to Hogwarts'
The sentence is uttered with such a severity, I wince.
'What about summer?' I murmur unsteady while dad is already on the door giving me his back.
'You will do what we'll tell you to do'
'Which is?'
But dad doesn't answer, his hand on the knob, he is about to go but I don't want him to.
'I'll write to you.' I say to retain him but not even this sentence gets an answer.
'You will reply if I do, won't you?' I plead with a small voice and, as silence again is my only answer, I repeat 'Won't you?'
He pushes the door open, leaves the doorknob, and he is gone from the room.
Panic rises so fast; my heart start to beat crazily.
I stumble behind him unsteadily and when I get to the room with the fireplace, a green flame is already dancing in it. Dad is about to step inside.
'Dad, please, take me with you!' I gabble basically in tears. He cannot go. Not now, not like that! I waited for a week for him to wake up. For a week I slept on an uncomfortable armchair, I guarded him almost every second. For a week I hoped, and I feared. And when it miraculously happened, he barely talked to me, he barely noticed me.
Dad stops in front of the fireplace hearing my pleading, one of his hands is already on the mantelpiece and the greenish light of the flames reflects in his eyes emphasizing their colour, consequently emphasizing mine too.
'Please' I repeat breaking down 'I need…'
I start saying confused rubbing my face. I need him to reassure me. I need to confide him about what it's troubling me, about mum and how I miss her, but also about Rose and how much I love her. I need him to take the lead and solve my problems. I need him to be my father.
'Please' I repeat in a strangled voice that dies in my throat.
And dad turns to look at me hearing that pleading tone. And the mean expression is gone for a moment seeing my tears, replaced by pity and a deep sadness.
'Come here' he says gesturing me to come forward.
When I do, trying clumsily to check my sobbing and mopping up my tears ashamed, he enfolds me in a tight hug, exactly the one I needed.
'I cannot take you with me. I must stay by myself. You'll be safe in Hogwarts' he whispers.
'But what will you do?'
'I'll manage. Don't worry' he says loosening the hug and rubbing my arms with a smile.
'And what about summer?'
The smile vanishes quickly.
'I think Ron is right. You should go there and do your best to forget you are my son'
I gap horrified but dad is already stepping into the fireplace.
'Don't follow me and don't let anybody else either' he admonishes but then, staring at me straight into the eyes, with a totally different tone, he says 'Bye Albus. Take care' And that stare speaks so much anguish, I get this unexplainable terrorizing hunch that this may indeed be the last time I see him.
'No dad, wait!' I rush but he has already shouted our address and is gone.