A/N: Before I post the next chapter I just wanted to expend an apology for not posting a chapter last week. A lot of stressful stuff was going down at work and I needed to get away and unplug for a few days to decompress and become a person again. But everything is going to work out and I'm feeling much better now. So on with the story!
Chapter 5Regina sat on her usual stool at The Blood Moon on a particularly slow night, sipping a pint of blood, staring down at her phone with a giddy smile on her face.
"What, or should I say who's got you so happy?" Graham asked, idly drying a glass.
"Emma…" Regina said, her smile growing wider with the mention of Emma's name.
"And who is Em-ma ?" he asked, finally breaking Regina's concentration from her phone.
"She's…she's…she's my girlfriend." Regina smiled excitedly. "I don't think I've said those words out loud yet. She's my girlfriend, Graham. I have a girlfriend."
"How long has it been since you've dated anyone?" Graham asked. Graham was probably the only person who really knew Regina, and the closest thing to a friend she had. That was until Emma came into her life.
"Decades. Maybe thirty years…maybe more. I honestly can't remember the last time I was courting someone, let alone the last time I was intimate with someone." Regina's eyes suddenly filled with fear. "What if things changed? What if I do something wrong or say something stupid?" Regina continued, starting to spiral.
"Well first off, maybe don't call it courting. I think young people call it dating these days." Graham laughed, receiving a dirty look from Regina. "In all seriousness, I don't think things have changed much in thirty years. Especially in that department." Graham chuckled, amused at Regina's anxiety.
"But what…what if I'm not good enough?" Regina asked, suddenly starting to hyperventilate.
"Regina. Calm down. You're going to throw up, and I don't really want to clean blood off the counter. Tell me about her. How long have you two been together?" Graham asked, trying to distract Regina.
"Two months, officially. Two very glorious months," Regina said, smiling again. "She's amazing, Graham. She's smart…and strong…and gorgeous…" Regina trailed off as her mind drifted to thoughts of Emma.
"I'm happy for you, Regina," Graham said, wiping down the counter.
"Thanks…" Regina said, her smile fading once again. "Can I ask you something…personal?"
"Regina, you just told me you haven't had sex in over thirty years, I think we're passed the point of too personal." Graham laughed.
"Have you ever been with…a Human? Since you were turned, I mean," Regina asked, her voice barely above a whisper.
"She's Human?" Graham asked, his eyes suddenly wide with shock.
"Yeah…" Regina said, biting her lower lip in embarrassment, her fangs pressing into her skin slightly. "There's more…"
"More? What, is she a Wolf or something?" Graham asked, half joking.
"She…doesn't know…that I'm a Vampire…" Regina said eventually, looking up to Graham's shocked face. She decided not to include the fact that Emma is also a hunter.
"But…how?" Graham asked after a moment.
"I've mastered that art of blending in. And I always arrange it so we don't share a meal together, that way I don't have to make up an excuse as to why I'm not eating. I pretend to drink a lot of coffee," Regina explained.
"But when you kiss, doesn't she feel your fangs?" Graham asked, genuinely interested in Regina's situation.
"Not when you don't…kiss with your tongue…" Regina said sadly.
"Regina, you have to tell her. She has a right to know who you are, and you deserve to not hide yourself around her. And for Pete's sake, Regina, you need to kiss that woman properly!"
"I can't. What if she freaks out? I can't lose her, Graham. I can't," Regina said, holding back tears.
"She's going to find out eventually, Regina. And how do you think she's going to feel when she finds out you've been keeping this from her the entire time? Wouldn't it be better to let it all out in the open now, instead of waiting longer?" Graham asked.
"But what if she leaves me?" Regina asked, eyes filling with dark red tears.
"Then it wasn't meant to be," Graham said, a sympathetic half smile on his face.
"Yeah…" Regina said, sniffling back tears. She drank the rest of her blood quickly, reaching into her bag to order her usual to-go bottle. "…I guess you're right…"
"It'll work out. One way or another, it'll all work out," Graham said, handing Regina her glass bottle filled with more blood. "This one's on us."
"Thanks. For everything. And for listening." Regina smiled as she reached for the bottle, sliding off the stool and leaving the bar, walking out into the warm spring evening.
Her mind was racing with thoughts of Emma the entire walk home. More specifically, the idea of losing Emma. She barely made it to her apartment before the tears started streaming down her face. She knew Graham was right. She knew Emma deserved to know the truth, and she deserved the option to choose to stay with Regina once she knew the truth. She knew she had to tell Emma, and she knew it had to be soon.
She composed herself long enough to make her way to the bathroom to fill up the bathtub with lukewarm water, hoping a good soak would help her calm her nerves long enough to figure out what to do. By the time the water had grown cold, Regina had made the decision to tell Emma the next time they were together. The next step was to invite Emma over for the first time so she could break the news to her in private.
After her bath, she started warming up a snack when she heard her phone chime from across the room. She didn't have to look at the screen to know it was Emma texting her.
"Hey, Regina, I know it's really really late, so I'm sure you're probably already in bed, but I just wanted to say goodnight." Regina's mouth turned into a wide smile as she read the text from Emma. Her heart hurt at the sudden idea of losing this. But she knew it had to be done.
"I'm still up, did you just get home from work?" Regina texted back, turning back to the stove to stir her blood, not wanting to burn it.
"Yeah. And now I have to fill out the reports and submit them before I can go to bed. Luckily, it was a slow night, so I don't have much to do," Emma responded almost instantly.
"Good," Regina responded quickly. She poured her snack into a mug, scraping the saucepan to make sure every drop made it in the cup before composing the next text. "Hey, so I have a question. You can say no, and I will most certainly understand."
"What's up, Regina?" Emma asked immediately, clearly not paying attention to her work. Regina took a deep breath and started typing on the screen.
"Would you like to come over to my place tomorrow night?" She hit the send button before she could convince herself to back out.
"I would love to! We can order pizza and watch a movie!" Emma responded faster than Regina thought was possible.
"Sounds like a plan to me!" Regina responded, her heart responding before her brain could talk her out of it. She took one last sip of her snack, leaving the empty cup in the sink, reminding herself to clean up all remnants of her blood snack before Emma comes over tomorrow. "Go back to your reports so you can get to bed at a decent time. I'll see you tomorrow," Regina said in a second text.
"Yeah, you're probably right. Good night, Regina. I'll see you tomorrow."
"Good night, Emma." Regina climbed into bed as the sun began to rise outside. Sleep didn't come easily for her, as her brain ran through all possible scenarios, until she finally fell asleep, passing out from exhaustion.
Regina tossed and turned all day, eventually jumping out of bed right before sunset to begin cleaning her small apartment. She needed everything to be perfect when Emma came over and that meant there had to be zero evidence of her Vampire lifestyle. Regina was going through a speech in her head as she was scrubbing down the counter and the sink for the third time since waking that evening, the speech that she hoped would allow her to break the news gently to Emma, and one that she hoped would convince Emma not to leave her. Just as she was rinsing her trusty saucepan that she used to heat up her blood every night, she heard an enthusiastic knock on her door. Taking a deep breath, she dried her hands and made her way to the door, opening it swifty before she could somehow talk herself out of letting Emma in.
"Hey!" Emma smiled, kissing Regina softly on her cold lips as she entered the apartment for the first time. "This is the first time I've ever been inside your apartment. I've dropped you off at the front door dozens of times, but this is the first time I've made it upstairs." She laughed, pulling off her jacket, tossing it over the top of the sofa.
"It's not much, but it's home," Regina said, looking around her small studio apartment.
"It's about as big as mine is. Definitely much cleaner than mine though." Emma laughed as she looked around, her eyes stopping at Regina's large four poster bed with the heavy curtains around all four sides in the far corner. Regina was suddenly thankful that she remembered to make her bed when she got up that night. "Your bed is definitely bigger than mine. I think we'll need to have tons of sleepovers here." She laughed, her face suddenly turning bright red.
"I'd like that," Regina said, guiding Emma to sit on the couch with her.
"So what do you like on your pizza? I don't know about you, but I'm starving. Oh and I brought Practical Magic for us to watch. I did some research on the movie. I didn't know this, but it's based on a book. I thought we could watch the movie and then read the book, and then we could talk about it," Emma said, flopping onto the couch next to Regina.
"That sounds great. But before we start, there's something I need to tell you…" Regina said, her voice reflecting how nervous she was.
"Regina? Is everything alright? Are you alright?" Emma asked, her voice sounded scared. Her body tensed and turned toward Regina, giving her her utmost and full attention.
"I'm alright. Everything is alright. There's just something about myself that I need to tell you, before we get even more serious," Regina said, her gaze falling to her hands that were folded in her lap.
"You can tell me anything, Regina," Emma said, reaching to squeeze Regina's freezing cold hands.
"Emma…I…I…I'm…" Regina started to say. She could feel her eyes filled with tears, which caused her to panic even more. Her breath caught in her throat as she struggled to take a deep breath, her brain already accepting their fate before she had even said the words.
"Regina, what is it?" Emma asked, sensing Regina's distress.
"Emma…I'm…I'm…" Regina repeated, her voice quivering as she prepared to finish the sentence. "…a…Vampire…" she whispered. The words felt like knives, cutting her tongue as they left her mouth. She couldn't bring herself to look up at Emma for a few seconds as they sat there in silence.
Regina looked up when she felt Emma pull her hand away from hers, and the sudden absence felt like a punch in the gut. Emma's face had gone completely white, as if all blood had been drained from her already pale skin. Regina searched Emma's green eyes, finding them staring back at her unblinking, wide with shock. She had a look of disgust on her face, as if she were about to throw up.
"You can't be serious," Emma said eventually.
"Unfortunately, I am…" Regina responded, her voice so low. She wanted to reach out and hold Emma's hand, but based on Emma's body language, she knew it was a bad idea.
"I'm a fucking vampire hunter, Regina. It's literally my FUCKING JOB to kill Vampires, and now you tell me I'm DATING one?" Emma said, her voice growing increasingly louder. "That's why we never go out for dinner, isn't it? For fucks sake Regina, that's why you're always so cold." Regina simply nodded at Emma's questions, ashamed.
"So what? Am I some kind of joke to you? You have a bet with your Vampire friends to see who can bag a hunter first? Did you know I was a hunter when we met?" Emma rambled on, her face turning red from anger.
"I did know you were a hunter. The first time I saw you, you were killing my Fledgling. But it wasn't like that, Emma. There's no bet made, this I can promise you," Regina answered, trying to convince Emma that her intentions were not malicious.
"Oh great. You probably go out and kill people every night after we see each other, don't you. You probably have Fledglings all over the city," Emma said, her voice harsh.
"I don't. I promise you I don't. He was the first in a very very long time. I don't feed from Humans," Regina said, trying to convince Emma that she wasn't a threat.
"Oh, that's comforting!" Emma snapped, rolling her eyes. "So what, were you trying to win my confidence so you could bite me once you had your way with me? Were you just using me? When were you planning on killing me?" Emma growled, her eyes suddenly growing wide with shock and fear again, as a thought ran through her head. "Oh my god, you were going to kill me tonight, weren't you?"
"No, Emma. No! Not at all! I'm not going to hurt you. I could never and would never hurt you," Regina said, her voice pleading.
"You're a Vampire, Regina. It's in your nature to hurt and to kill." Regina physically flinched at Emma's angry words. "If you knew I was a hunter when we met, why did you agree to go out with me?" Emma asked, her voice sounding more confused than angry suddenly.
"Because I like you. From the moment I saw you, I was drawn to you. I thought you were the most beautiful woman I had ever seen, and no matter how hard I tried, I couldn't get you out of my mind," Regina replied, without skipping a beat. This time, she reached out and placed her hand on Emma's, trying to comfort her. The feeling of Regina's cold hands made Emma jump.
"I can't do this, Regina," Emma said, jumping off the couch and putting as much distance between her and Regina as the small apartment would allow.
"Emma, please. Let's talk about this," Regina begged, trying to persuade Emma to sit back down.
"What's to talk about? You're a freaking Vampire, Regina. I'm a vampire hunter. How can we possibly be together?" Emma asked. Her voice still sounded angry, but her eyes showed the hurt Emma felt.
"Let's talk about it. We can figure it out. Please, Emma. Let's talk about it," Regina pleaded. Deep red tears began to stream down Regina's face, leaving red streaks in their wake. Seeing Regina's blood tears was the final straw, and Emma's brain stopped suddenly.
"I can't do this Regina. I need to go….now…" she said, grabbing her jacket and rushing toward the door.
"Emma, please! Don't leave." Regina cried, chasing after Emma, but she was met with the door slamming in her face. This was exactly what she was afraid of. And this was exactly how she thought Emma would respond. Her tears stained the front of her shirt as she stood in the middle of the room, staring at the door, hoping Emma would come back. She stayed where she was for hours, until her body felt sunrise approaching, forcing her to finally move from the spot.
Emma wasn't coming back.