The next morning dawned bright and early. Megumin, however, did not. She was traditionally a late sleeper, usually rushing out the door at the very last instant. This day, however, she was awoken by movement and noise just outside of her bed's curtains. She stuck her head out, blinking at the early morning light.
"-42, 43, 44-"
"What are you doing?" Megumin yawned, blinking at Darkness, who was busy doing pushups.
"I have told you," Darkness grunted, not pausing as sweat beaded on her brow. "I am training, as I do daily."
One of the bed's curtains flung aside, and a dark skinned girl of Indian descent sprinted for the bathroom. "First shower!"
"Hey!" Megumin squawked, outraged that someone would attempt to usurp her place as the first to use the bathroom, though she was not surprised. Even Yunyun had fought for first bathroom privileges.
Unfortunately, Parvati not only had a twin sister, but an older one as well, and was much better prepared for the first of what would become the daily Bathroom Battle Royales. Megumin was the only other one that seemed to know that such was going to be a daily occurrence, as Hermione, Lavender, and Darkness were all single children.
The girls got themselves sorted out, and Megumin trooped down to breakfast with the other four. Lavender and Pavarti seemed to both regard Megumin with no small degree of awe, coming from magical families. However, they also seemed to realize that Megumin was quite mad. This was somewhat in fashion and normal for a young witch, but neither girl seemed especially interested in sharing in Megumin's delusions.
"You're not going to make yourself sick again, are you?" Hermione demanded as they approached the tables, already laden with food.
"We should eat a healthy breakfast, with plenty of protein and healthy fruits and vegetables!" Darkness declared.
"Hmph. I see muffins and scones. Those sound much better," Megumin said, her mouth watering slightly.
"You're going to make yourself sick again," Hermione said in an extremely annoying singsong voice. Megumin glared at her, but Darkness nodded.
"As your friends, we cannot allow you to have such a poor diet, Megumin. Come, beans and fried tomatoes are a good breakfast. We can have some milk with it to build strong bones."
"Milk is also good for healthy teeth! Sweets, on the other hand, are horrid. You'll get cavities. You did brush and floss, didn't you?"
"A Crimson Demon relies only on the power of their will to keep their teeth clean!" Megumin cackled.
Hermione sighed. "You forgot your toothbrush, didn't you?"
"I just neglected to pack it as brushing your teeth is a waste of time," Megumin sniffed as they sat down.
"Well, I brought extra. I can always send to my parents for more, they are dentists you know. Take care of your teeth, they're the only ones you'll get."
"M-megumin!"
Megumin looked up from glaring at her plate of beans and tomatoes to find Yunyun hovering behind her. "Good morning. What do you want?"
"I, I just...I haven't seen you all night! A-are you OK?" Yunyun asked desperately.
"I will be fine. Why are you here? This is the Gryffindor table. You belong over at the NPC table," Megumin said coldly.
"B-but-"
"We'll watch out for her, Yunyun. Go sit with your house," Darkness encouraged. "We'll see you later. We have Herbology with Hufflepuff later."
"Um, um, um," Yunyun looked desperately at Megumin, but she had started shoveling food into her mouth.
"Is there a problem, dear?"
Megumin froze, fork halfway to her mouth. She slowly turned to find the stern face of Professor McGonagall looking down at her.
"W-well, um, I saw Megumin get sick, and, well, s-she doesn't have very good self control, a-and I was worried she-"
"I am certain Miss Potter has learned her lesson, and will eat like a proper lady. Won't you, Miss Potter?" McGonagall asked.
Megumin nodded carefully, chewing all the food in her mouth before swallowing and giving the professor a weak smile.
"Good. Now, go get your own breakfast, child. Your first class will be Transfiguration with me. Don't worry, your cousin is in good hands. I'm certain Miss Granger and Miss Longbottom will look after her."
"Yes ma'am," the two girls chorused.
Yunyun looked disappointed, but in the face of adult authority she scurried back to the Hufflepuff table. She ended up sitting at the very edge of the table closest to the door, nervously picking at a bowl of porridge and unable to talk to the chatty boy who was sitting next to her.
Megumin quickly forgot about her cousin in her excitement for her first class, which was potions.
"I shall brew a mighty elixir, one that shall grant me vision from the third eye!" Megumin bragged.
"Listen, firstie," Percy the Prefect snapped as he escorted the first years to their class. "You think McGonagall is bad? Snape is a right terror. He hates all Gryffindors, and he loves making firstie lions piddle themselves."
"How'd you know, you piddle yourself Perse?" Ron demanded, looking rather grumpy at having his elder brother escort him to his first class.
"I am no mere mortal, but a Crimson Demon! It is this Snape who shall wet himself in terror at the sight of me ere long!" Megumin bragged.
"Two sickles she piddles herself before the end of the class."
Megumin's spine stiffened, and she whirled on the trio of boys trooping towards them. "Kazuma!"
"Yes, yes, that's my name. Don't wear it out," Kazuma said with an exaggerated bow.
Megumin studied Kazuma, then nodded. "You have done well so far. Continue this, and the honor of being my nemesis shall be yours."
Kazuma half missed a step, stumbling over his own robes. Dust let out a wail when he bumped into Kazuma, his arm flailing as he tried to steady himself. He managed to snag Draco, who he tugged on. Draco bulled into Kazuma, completing the pratfall by sending all three of them into the ground in a heap.
"Hmph. Shameful. And to think, you were almost worthy," Megumin sighed. "You are nothing but a clumsy oaf, Kazutrash."
"Merlin dammit, guys! You ruined everything!" Kazuma hissed at the other two boys.
"Me? You're the idiot who tripped, Crabbe!" Draco snarled.
The three boys got to their feet, glaring daggers at one another, only to all cry out in pain as the Slytherin prefect with them smacked them all upside the back of their heads.
"Stop making us look bad in front of the Gryffs, you idiots. You act like this in potions and Snape will eat you alive."
Sniggering, Megumin and the other Gryffindors hurried into the potions room, the Slytherins shuffling in behind them. Megumin sat with Ron, who was giggling to himself.
"Nice one with Kazuma. He's a real git, him and those three. Bunch of rich arseholes," he told her.
"Oh? Are they nobles?"
Ron made a face. "They'll go on about the 'ancient and noble houses' but it's a load of tripe. People like to talk about wizarding bloodlines but my dad says it's all bunk."
"That is unfortunate, a proper aristocrat would make an excellent rival. I need someone with a proper motivation and connection to Voldemort to be my nemesis."
Ron gave Megumin a skeptical look, but before the conversation could continue the door at the back of the room flung open, and a dark caped figure swept into the room.
Megumin whirled around, her eyes gleaming in excitement. Finally! Someone who understood a proper entrance!
"There will be no foolish wand-waving or silly incantations in this class," Severus Snape hissed as he strode up through the students, glaring around at them.
To Megumin, Snape looked like a classic villain. Seeing his lanky black hair, imperious eyebrows, a hooked nose, and even a goatee, she sighed happily, at last recognizing her equal. She mostly ignored his speech, though she did appreciate the dramatic gestures and facial expressions that Snape employed. Truely, this was a man who was worthy.
"Miss Potter!"
Snape's words snapped Megumin out of her reverie, and she grinned up at him excitedly. "Yes?"
Snape blinked, unused to having a student, especially one of the first day, who looked so completely thrilled to be called upon by him. Still, he pressed on with his prepared speech. "Tell me, what would I get if I added powdered root of asphodel to an infusion of wormwood?"
"One would create a deadly and mystical brew, one that is capable of ensnaring all who drink it, causing them to become as one who is dead!" Megumin responded, her red eyes glowing with excitement. "For such concoction can result in only one potion, if the creator is properly skilled!" She paused for effect, then declared: "The Draught of Living Death!"
"Hmph. A lucky guess," Snape sneered. "Perhaps another question: Where would you look if I asked you to procure a bezoar?"
"I would stalk the nearest farm, inspecting their goats, and find among them a worthy sacrifice!" Megumin replied. "Then, when the time was right, I would butcher the poor creature, and pluck from the depths of its stomach a stone of great and potent properties: one that can cure any poison!"
Then she paused, considering. "However, if you asked me for a Bezoar, I also might point out that slaughtering a goat to get a rock is both disgusting, and rather boring."
From beside Megumin, Ron groaned and tried to sink into his stool to hide.
"Boring. You find a panacea that can cure any poison to be dull, Miss Potter?" Snape growled.
"Yes! There are far more interesting curatives! For example, a Phoenix is a far rarer and more interesting creature, and a vial of its tears has much the same properties of a bezoar, while being dramatic in its procurement! Phoenix Tears are also described in our textbook as a key ingredient in the Draught of Restoration, which can also cure any poison, but as it is much harder to obtain is clearly superior!"
Now Snape regarded Megumin with something approaching incredulity. "And, in your wisdom as a first year student who has yet to brew so much as a boil removing potion, you believe that a potion's rarity determines its potency?"
"Of course! As the Foremost Genius of the Crimson Demon Clan, I am well acquainted with a variety of potions and their effects, such as the potion of Gaseous Form, which allows one to become as vapor, slipping through the narrowest of cracks!"
"Really." Snape's lips twitched in a grin. "And I suppose, if I requested it, you could brew me such a potion?'
"Naturally," Megumin bragged. "I am not known as the foremost genius of the Crimson Demon Clan for nothing!"
"Is that so? Very well. The rest of the class shall be preparing a simple boil removing potion today. You, Miss Potter, shall prepare me this potion of gaseous form. I look forward to your results, Miss Potter."
"You shall have them!" Megumin stood up, grabbing Ron and dragging him with her to the back of the room. "Come, assistant! We shall begin the brewing."
"What?! I didn't volunteer for this!" Ron protested.
"No, you were told. Now, help me locate the proper ingredients: First, we shall need the following items: Powdered sprite wings, a vial of moon-touched quicksilver, and the wood of an ancient oak!"
Rather expectedly, Ron hadn't a clue what any of those items were. "I do know how to make a boil removing potion, my mum showed me. Let's just make one of those," Ron begged as Megumin rifled through the cabinets that Snape unlocked for them.
"No, that would involve admitting defeat! Ah-ha! Powdered pixie wings! These should work!"
"How the bloody hell do you even know how to make this gas potion? Weren't you raised by muggles?" Ron demanded as Megumin began handing him things to carry.
"Yes, but I was permitted to visit Flourish and Blotts, where they sold a variety of mystical tomes! As I am fantastically wealthy, I purchased every single book required for the Hogwarts curriculum."
"You idiot, we all did! I have a copy of Magical Drafts and Potions too!" Ron groaned. "I don't think it even mentions a gas potion!"
"It is a Potion of Gaseous form! Or, as Moste Potente Potions refers to it, an Elixir of Vapore Bodye."
"What? That's a textbook for seventh years! Bill had one!" Ron protested.
"Yes, but I have read the book, and as such, I am prepared!" Megumin looked up from the closet. "Professor! Where is your brass cauldron! The recipe calls for one, and I have only my pewter one!"
"Well, that would be a problem for you to solve, wouldn't it, Potter," Snape said silkily as he laced his fingers together and gave Megumin a malevolent grin.
"Hmph. Lavender! Do you have a hairpin?" Megumin demanded.
"Um, yes?" The other girl took out a spare bobby pin, and gave it to Megumin.
"Excellent!" Megumin hurried over to a locked supply cabinet, and began to pick the lock.
"What do you think you are doing?" Snape snarled, hurrying over and seizing Megumin's hand. "That cabinet contains restricted materials!"
"Yes, but you told me to solve my problem, so I am," Megumin pointed out. She reached out with her other hand, and opened the door. "See?"
"What?! But I had that under an advanced locking spell! What did you do, Potter?!" Snape demanded.
"Ha! You have fallen for one of the classic wizarding blunders! You employed a magical means of protection, but failed to safeguard against a more mundane one!" Megumin cackled. She reached out and grabbed a brass cauldron from the lower shelf with her free hand. "Now, I only need a vial of moon-touched quicksilver!"
"That is a restricted item," Snape growled.
"Well, it's required for a Potion of Gaseous Form. So do you wish me to make the potion, or not?" Megumin huffed.
For a long moment, Snape looked at Megumin through narrowed eyes. Then he dropped her hand, reached out, and plucked a vial of silver liquid from an upper shelf. "If you poison yourself, you fail the assignment, and I shall let Madam Pomfrey sort you out."
"I am Megumin Potter! I never fail!" Megumin bragged. "Come, Ronald! We must show these fools how a true potioneer brews!"
"I'm not with her," Ron told Snape. "Honest. I'll make the boil removing potion, sir. Please, just let me-"
"Ronald! I shall not ask again! Come, or I shall sic Chomusuke upon you this night!"
"Oh bloody hell. Look, I'll try to make sure she doesn't blow up the whole lab, alright?" Ron groaned, and hurried back to their table.
Gleefully, Megumin began to brew, with Ron putting on a heavy pair of cooking gloves, a pair of old goggles, and tying a cloth about his face as a mask.
"What's the matter, Weasley? Afraid of your own brew?" Malfoy called as he and Kazuma prepared their own simple potion.
"It's not the potion I'm worried about, you daft fool. It's her," Ron responded.
"Yes, all should fear my dark knowledge and mystic powers!" Megumin cackled. "Now, Ronald! I have given it six half stirs! Begin to burn the oak wood, and waft the flames over the potion as I mix in the opposite direction!"
At the end of the class, most everyone had managed to produce a halfway decent boil-removing potion. Darkness had nearly sabotaged her and Hermione's efforts by knocking in the porcupine quills too early, but Hermione had been fast enough to prevent disaster.
"Hmph. I suppose this is a decent effort," Snape said dismissively, stalking away from the two girl's cauldron. He glanced at Kazuma and Draco's cauldron, which did not have the same quantity of pink smoke, theirs having a slightly grey tinge. "Excellent work, Malfoy, Crabbe. Five points to Slytherin."
"What!? But their's isn't nearly-" Hermione began, but Darkness kicked her under the table.
"Something the matter, Miss Granger?" Snape asked, turning to glare at her.
"...no sir," Hermione grumbled.
"I thought not. Now. To our supposed celebrity." Snape strode over to Megumin's cauldron, where she was just removing the brass cauldron from her fire.
"It is finished!" Megumin declared. She scooped a bit of the black brew into a vial, and held it up. "Behold! A Potion of Gaseous Form!"
Inside the vial, faint swirls could be seen, as if the potion were made up of thick smoke. The top bubbled, and the potion began to rapidly evaporate.
Snape took the vial, holding it up to a nostril as Ron frantically ladled the rest of their potion to a vial, then stoppered it. The professor sniffed, then jerked the vial away. "This is…"
Megumin grinned excitedly as Snape's jaw dropped open, and the other students gasped in shock. Most had expected Snape to fail them, and Kazuma had been taking bets on Megumin being expelled on the spot.
Snape collected himself, and then lowered the vial, thrusting it at Megumin. "Completely worthless! It is completely unstable! You failed to properly bind the smoke with the quicksilver, your fire was too hot, and you stirred with too much force! Look at how quickly it vanishes! If you drank this, you would dissolve entirely, and die!"
"What? No, it's perfect!" Megumin plucked the second vial away from Ron, making to uncork it and down it.
"Fool girl! Do not-"
But it was too late. Megumin's efforts sent the cork flying, and the potion splashed out, all over both her and Ron. Their robes began to smoke and boil, the fabric going to vapor.
"IDIOT!" Snape whipped out his wand, bellowing, "AGUAMENTI!"
Both Megumin and Ron were slammed into the floor as Snape vigorously hosed them down, their potion washing away in the stream of water.
"Fifty points from Gryffindor, fool girl!" Snape snarled. "The rest of you, out, out, NOW! Do not take your supplies, go! Malfoy!"
But Malfoy was already sprinting for the door, and not stopping. Snape reached out, snagging Kazuma by the collar before he could flee as well.
"Get Madame Pomfrey, immediately!" Snape barked.
"Y-yes sir," Kazuma stammered, and ran off after the other first years.
Snape turned back, and peeled both Ron and Megumin out of their robes, then hosed them both off again in only their undershorts and shirts.
"You vile wretch! I will not stand for this!" Megumin gasped.
"Shut up, you idiot! He's trying to save our lives!" Ron gasped through the stream of water.
That got Megumin's attention, and she simply stood there, shivering as Snape continued to douse both her and Ron.
After what felt like an eternity, Madame Pomfrey did arrive, and Snape had her perform a thorough inspection of both Megumin and Ron.
"Well, it seems you acted quickly enough, Severus. A botched potion, you say? It's not like you to let first years make something so dangerous," the school nurse said in frosty tones.
"I was monitoring them. If the fool girl hadn't acted so rashly, there wouldn't have been an issue," Snape said, folding his arms over his chest.
"Hmph. Well, I'm taking both of them back to the Gryffindor dorms. You two are both lucky you're not dead, or half smoke at this moment. Come along then." Pomfrey swaddled both Ron and Megumin in towels, drying them off and preserving what little dignity Ron had left, as Megumin never had any to begin with.
When they were gone, Snape disposed of the ruin of their robes by vanishing them, then sat down at his desk, letting his heart rate slow. He looked appraisingly at the cauldron, which was now completely empty, the poorly mixed potion having evaporated. He shook his head, and let out a heavy sigh. He got out a locket, showing a picture of a pallid youth with dark hair alongside a young girl with red curls. Both had on eye patches, and were posing together, with the words, "Crimson Demon Clan" underneath.
Shaking his head, Snape snapped the locket shut and set about preparing for his next class.