When Kazuma came to, he half expected to find himself in a jail cell, or maybe an interrogation room. The last thing he remembered was seeing his dad go down to the aurors, and that was just all kinds of bad.
Not that he minded his dad getting stunned, son of a bitch had it coming. No, what Kazuma minded was his own personal stash of contraband that the aurors were sure to find, plus he was the son of a not so former Death Eater. So they'd probably snap his wand and that would just REALLY cramp Kazuma's style.
Oh well. He'd find a way to get a new one, then move to Las Vegas or perhaps Macau. Had to be a way for a wizard to make some fast cash off muggles that didn't involve-
"About time you woke up. I swear, you'd skive off your own funeral if you thought you could get away with it," a familiar and highly irritating voice said in droll tones.
"Piss off, Draco," Kazuma groaned as he cracked open one eyeball. Looked like he was in a hospital bed. Probably Saint Mungo's. Well, it was better than prison. "They get you too?"
"Don't be silly," Draco sneered. "I've done nothing wrong. You're the idiot who invited the bloody Crimson Demon clan over to your house. What were you thinking?"
"I didn't invite them! I was trying to con them!" Kazuma protested, struggling to sit up so he could glower at Draco better. "I was trying to exploit how gullible those girls are into giving me stuff since my dad had taken it into his head I was a blood traitor! Bastard was-"
Kazuma cut himself off, but Draco suddenly looked rather sorry. The both boys looked away at the same time, and both felt rather awkward for a few minutes.
"I know, by the way," Draco said at last. "Now. If I'd known earlier...I would have made father do something. Why...why didn't you tell me?"
"Not your bloody business now was it?" Kazuma muttered.
"Of course it was!"
Kazuma turned to Draco, but his sarcastic remark was forestalled by how angry Draco appeared to be.
"Look, we don't always get along. But I've known you since before either of us could walk, Kazuma. You're...ugh, I'm going to sound like Yunyun…"
"'Oh Draco, won't you be my f-fwen?'" Kazuma said in a high falsetto.
"Sod off. We're mates, and you know it," Draco said, glowering and folding his arms over his chest. "House Malfoy does not abandon its allies. And, well, I am personally fond of you. As my minion, of course."
"Yeah, sure, I bet. Want me to call you 'Great Master Draco?' Careful you don't give me a sock or something, you arse," Kazuma said, but he had to turn away to fight back a grin and a few hot tears.
"Are you crying? Sweet Merlin, you're crying! Ugh, next you're going to start going on about friendship and stalking Megumin and making stupid speeches," Draco said, trying to sound disgusted. After a moment though, he looked around, then leaned in close. "Is Yunyun...OK? And Granger too I suppose."
"How the hell should I know? I got knocked out, moron," Kazuma huffed.
The two boys took a few minutes to belittle and snipe at one another, and afterwards they both felt much better. Just before things started to get awkward, Lucius Malfoy entered the small room.
"Ah, you're awake, good. Now, boy, before those damned puppets come in and try to pump you, tell me exactly what happened. And no prevarication or fabrication, Kazuma. If I'm going to get you out of this, I have to-"
"What about Dust?" Draco interrupted. "You said-"
"The Goyles appear to be smarter than the Crabbes. Thank Merlin for small mercies. They have the boy well in hand, and have not abused him. Do not fret," Lucius said with a dismissive flick of his hands.
Draco relaxed at that, and Kazuma felt a knot of tension he hadn't known was there ease in his belly. If things had been bad for him...Dust had always been an idiot. A lucky one though it seemed.
"Well? Start talking. Or have you gone mute?" Lucius demanded, taking a seat by the bedside. Though he still loomed over Kazuma.
"Well, sir, it's like this…"
Kazuma then lied only a little. Well, maybe a lot. Point was, he included enough truth to keep things believable. He said he'd sent Dobby to get food and entertainment off of Megumin and Yunyun, on the grounds that they were the most easily bilked and were unlikely to tell on him. He left out a few things. Like that weird spell Yunyun had cast that hadn't required a wand and had blown up half his damn house.
Not that he minded. He wasn't going back there. Not ever.
"That more or less lines up with what Dobby told me. And while that elf is a tricky one, he's not so foolish as to lie to me," Lucius said when Kazuma's story was finished. He sighed, then gave Kazuma a sad smile. "I'm sorry."
Kazuma was a bit taken aback by this. "Er, what did I do? Um, sir."
"You? Well, your actions this past year were incredibly foolhardy, and may well result in dire consequences far beyond this yet. But you are, in fact, a boy. And what was done to you was wrong. You are not some mudblood or halfbreed. You are a pureblood from an ancient and noble line," Lucius said, but his tone was...different. He sounded, well, exhausted.
"Wasn't you who did it," Kazuma said, and anger flashed through him. But he controlled it. Revenge would come later. He'd get even. Oh yes, he'd get even. With ALL of them.
"No, but I should have known that Castor would stoop to such disgusting levels," Lucius said, and he actually did sound disgusted. "The man has always been a brute. But I'd have thought he knew better than to torture his own flesh and blood."
That made bile well up in Kazuma's throat, but he tamped it down.
"Something to say? Tell me now, Kazuma. I can't help you otherwise," Lucius ordered.
Kazuma licked his lips, then glanced at Draco.
"Draco, leave us," Lucius ordered.
"But father, I-"
"Leave us," Lucius repeated firmly.
Draco glared at Kazuma, but left the room, closing the door behind him.
Once he was gone, Lucius leaned back. "Well?"
"My dad...doesn't think I'm his son," Kazuma said, his voice sullen. "He's said so before. Think's mum cheated on him. Won't say with who. Just says so. Mum seems to think something's wrong with me. Won't say what."
Lucius considered this a moment. "I find that exceedingly unlikely. There are very simple tests one can do to determine paternity. Surely if your father suspected so strongly, he would have conducted one. The man is competent enough to perform a simple lineage spell."
"Are you kidding? I did one myself and showed it to him. Said I faked it. Said something about mum being cursed," Kazuma said, throwing up his hands in exasperation.
Lucius considered this, then sighed and leaned forward, resting a hand on Kazuma's shoulder. That made Kazuma flinch, but the squeeze Lucius gave him...it was nice, actually. Affectionate, even. Hell of a lot more than his father had shown him since...basically forever.
"Listen, Kazuma. You are blaming yourself for what your parents did. Don't. Nothing you did deserved that sort of treatment. You are young. Your path can yet be corrected. It's high time you had someone competent take you under their wing. It's why Narcissa and I will be putting forth a motion to become your guardians."
"I...you...what?!" Kazuma said, his mind going mostly blank.
Lucius gave him a crooked smile. "I'm sure you don't fancy getting a new set of parents so soon after the originals abused you so, but you are far too young to strike out on your own. And, you are Draco's best friend. I'd be happy to take you in."
"You...really? Both of you? What about Draco?" Kazuma demanded.
"I have not brought it up to him yet, but he's been very worried about you. Even before this. I...well. I should have paid more attention to his concerns," Lucius said, giving Kazuma another twisted little smile. "So. How does living at Malfoy Manor sound to you?"
"Brilliant," Kazuma said, his head spinning. He was not personally fond of Lucius, or Narcissa. Lucius was a scheming bastard who was always trying to control everyone, while Narcissa was a proud bitch who loved rubbing the fact that she was richer than everyone in their noses.
But they did love Draco. Spoiled the prat. But they did love him. Kazuma had always been jealous of that.
"I...I'd like that, sir," Kazuma managed, his tone hoarse.
"Good lad," Lucius said, giving Kazuma's shoulder another squeeze. "We'll make a proper man out of you yet."
Kazuma lay back in the bed and considered his prospects as Lucius got up and left. Suddenly, things seemed to be looking up for him.
But he hadn't forgotten. Or forgiven. So even as life changed seemingly for the better, he plotted how he could ruin everything for himself by taking down Lucius Malfoy and every other Death Eater that had ignored what Kazuma's parents were doing to him.
"I just want you to know," Megumin said as Yunyun slowly opened her eyes. "I'm not mad. Just disappointed."
"I-I'm sorry," Yunyun whispered, looking remorseful. She was laying in a hospital bed, having been asleep for a good twelve hours. Megumin was looking much better, having gotten a good night's sleep herself, and was sitting with Tonks at Yunyun's bedside.
"I have to agree," Tonks said, eyeing Megumin sideways. "I was just about finished dealing with the mess Megumin caused this morning when I get a call in the afternoon that you've gone and blown up a whole house!"
"Mine was bigger," Megumin said smugly, earning her an irate look from Tonks. "But that's not what I'm upset about."
"I-I promise to bring you next time I-I go to a boss fight," Yunyun promised.
"Don't leave out Darkness either. She was very upset," Megumin said, crossing her arms and scowling as Tonks groaned and scrubbed her face with her hands. The poor woman had dark circles under her eyes, and didn't appear to have slept a wink in the last day.
"I-Is everyone OK at least? Hermione? K-Kazuma?" Yunyun asked timidly.
"By some act of the goddesses, you and your friends all survived," Tonks informed. She made a face. "Sadly that includes the Crabbes. Now, Megumin, hush. I've got to take a statement. Now, why, exactly, were you at the Crabbes' residence, MIss Dursley?"
"They were hurting my friend," Yunyun said, and her eyes began to glow.
"Easy, kiddo, your friends are safe! Now, explain what you mean, and what evidence you had," Tonks instructed.
Yunyun laid out everything in calm tones, not stuttering even once. Megumin offered some color commentary on the whole matter, which Tonks seemed to find amusing, especially when Megumin pointed out that, "Not even two Death Eaters are a match for Yunyun, Foremost Battle Friend of the Crimson Demon Clan!"
"Two adults and a couple of kids beat the pants off of them," Tonks chuckled. Then she forced herself back to seriousness and made Yunyun finish her story.
"Well, I'll compare notes with the Boss, he's talking with Hermione. But off the record, that was damn fine work. Been trying to nail those bastards for ages. Using an Unforgivable on their own son. Pity you didn't kill them."
"Kazuma asked me not to," Yunyun said apologetically. "They are my friend's parents, even if they're evil."
With that, Tonks excused herself, and Megumin reached out to put a hand on Yunyun's shoulder. "I just want you to know, I always knew you had the true soul of a Crimson Demon."
"B-because I look out for my friends?" Yunyun guessed, her stutter sneaking back in.
"No, because you are a champion of justice who stamps out evil wherever you find it, and cannot resist the siren call of adventure!" Megumin declared.
After a thorough check from Ted Tonks, Director Bones came in, looking rather more harried than she had the day before, but with a gleam of triumph in her eyes.
"The both of you, is it? Well, I suppose you could take a lesson, Miss Potter. If you must go about causing havoc, at least do so with a purpose," Director Bones said, sinking into a chair and sighing slightly.
"So, what you are saying is if instead of a quarry, I had blown up a few Death Eaters, I would have gotten a reward instead of a lecture?" Megumin asked.
Director Bones opened and closed her mouth a few times, then cleared her throat. "Just control yourself better, and make sure what you're blowing up deserves it. Because Castor and Cybella Crabbe damn well do. We checked their wands, and that poor son of theirs. He'd been Crucio'd, by the two of them. And more than once over a period of several days. That alone would land them in Azkaban. But what we found pulling apart that house...well, I won't trouble the two of you with-"
"A-any magical items a-are ours by right of conquest!" Yunyun interrupted, sitting up very straight. "T-those are the rules! I-if you beat the bad guys, y-you get the loot!"
"Yes! Or their equivalent in GP," Megumin added. "Obviously, Hermione gets a share too."
"A-and Dobby and K-Kazuma," Yunyun agreed. "T-they were in my party too."
Director Bones pursed her lips. "You know, normally I don't have anything against muggleborns, but the two of you obviously need some good wizarding sense. Whatever those muggle parents of yours have been teaching you-"
"Director Bones, if you insult my mum and dad, we can't be friends," Yunyun said quietly. "And I think you know what happens to people who aren't my friends."
"Are you...actually threatening the Director of Magical Law Enforcement?" Bones asked slowly.
Yunyun didn't reply, but her eyes did gleam with clear intent. Megumin's grin indicated that she was very proud of her cousin.
"Well, I suppose I would prefer to be friends with a girl who can serve me up two people near the top of my most wanted list," Bones sighed. "Regardless, I am afraid that your reward is not being sent to Azkahban. Young Mr. Goyle shall inherit his parents' possessions, and they shall be held in trust for him by...a Wizengamott appointed guardian."
"Well that's not fair! Yunyun saved him! There should be a reward for rescuing a captive, even Scumzuma!" Megumin protested.
"You girls are both fortunate your wands are not being snapped!" Director Bones barked, clearly fed up with all the nonsense. "We owe both of you a debt, so we will overlook your egregious behavior. But in future, if there is a crisis, have the good sense to tell an adult and let us handle it!"
Megumin and Yunyun exchanged a look, then hastily promised to do so.
"Good. You shall not be required to attend the trial. I want to spare you children from the political drama that will unfold, as it's certain to last months. That said, your wands are going to be held as evidence until the start of term. As a reminder."
"What if we're attacked!" Megumin wailed. "What if Death Eaters-"
"Alastor Moody is retiring and moving in across the street from the both of you. If something happens, go to him," Director Bones said, standing. "You're lucky you survived, Miss Dursley. But you did well. Good day."
Once Director Bones was gone, Megumin and Yunyun shared a look.
"I-I don't need my wand to cast spells, do you?" Yunyun asked.
"Obviously not. But they're much more powerful with Chunchumaru," Megumin sniffed.
"Oh good. W-we can help dad with traps, too. F-for safety."
And so the two girls began to conspire, proving beyond a shadow of a doubt that the only thing they had really learned was that as long as you attacked the right people you could break whatever rules you wanted.