July passed somewhat quietly, with Megumin's party being a rather subdued affair with only Darkness, Ron, and Hermione attending a get together at the local park, along with the local fire department and police.
"Look, the most important thing is no one got hurt," Megumin said as they watched the green burn. "And I got to make a great Explosion."
"I didn't even know you could do that with muggle stuff," Ron mused gazing up at the fading pillar of smoke. "It's kind of impressive."
"My new grill," Vernon wept as Petunia consoled him. "My brand new grill! You blew up my grand new grill!"
"I'll buy you a new one," Megumin promised. "The first was sacrificed on the altar of Explosions."
"It's really not your fault, Megumin," Hermione said. "Honestly, you'd think a grown man would know better."
"Right," a policeman said, coming over. He held up a burst and burned container that had been blown to bits. However, its label was still clearly readable: 'O2.' "Anyone want to explain what medical grade pure oxygen was doing hooked up to a bloody propane grill?"
"I, er, well, I wanted…" Vernon trailed off, and swallowed.
"Don't say anything," Megumin advised. "Deny all responsibility. It's what I would do."
"Officer, would you look over here for a moment?" Hermione asked. The police man obliged and Hermione held up her wand, which flashed for a moment. "Obliviate. The oxygen is for Megumin's poor ill aunty, who has been taken to a hospital. The whole thing was a tragic accident."
"Hospital...aunty...tragic accident," the officer repeated, nodding along as he followed Hermione's wand tip, his eyes having gone glassy and unfocused.
"Thank you so much for understanding," Hermione said sweetly. "If anyone has any questions, do send them over to talk to me."
The officer walked away, and Petunia shook her head. "That's probably illegal, dear. And aren't the aurors going to come looking for you for just doing that to the poor man?"
"We're within five miles of Mad Eye, Megumin told me she made sure of that when she planned the party," Hermione assured Petunia. "Besides, no one really got hurt, and we can come back and grow the grass and trees back later."
"But what about my grill?" Vernon repeated.
"Look mate, you're the one who let Megumin decide to hook up that medical whats-it to the thing," Ron told Vernon. "Besides, that was pretty impressive, wasn't it? I mean, how many people can say they launched a grill into space?"
"See, Ron understands!" Megumin said, beaming at the poor boy. "You should all grow an appreciation for explosions like him, even if that one was just an ordinary explosion."
"Yes, but the only reason no one was harmed was that I was able to get a shield up in time," Darkness said, shaking her head. "Even if it was very satisfying to save you all, I don't think it's right to memory charm the poor muggle. He's just trying to help."
"Do you think we're going to be able to stop Megumin from blowing things up?" Hermione asked.
When everyone shook their heads, she continued, "So, someone has to know how to do a memory charm."
"Makes sense," Ron agreed. He looked around. "So what are we doing about dinner? Can't imagine the meat survived that."
"Let's just order pizza," Petunia sighed.
"Excellent! I demand meat lovers!" Megumin cackled.
"That doesn't sound very healthy…" Darkness said. "And it is my birthday too…"
"It's a birthday, you're not supposed to eat healthy!" Vernon said, coming out of his stupor at the mention of pizza. "Now come on then. But don't think I'm rebuying your present, Megumin!"
"That explosion was the best present I could ask for," Megumin sighed.
Yunyun trailed along after the group, far more quiet than usual. She scribbled a bit down in her new diary, then tucked it away and caught up. She was sure that Tom would find the description of Megumin launching a grill and their lunch into outer space amusing.
August slipped by, and once more it was time to depart for Hogwarts. Unlike most children who dreaded the end of summer holidays, the Crimson Demon Clan was composed of crazy nerds who were quite eager to get back to their schooling.
"You'll both do well this year," Petunia sniffed as they stood on Platform 9 ¾, fussing with both Yunyun and Megumin's dresses. "You're both turning into regular young ladies. Just...try not to blow the school up this year…"
"Um, w-we'll be good," Yunyun promised.
Megumin just grinned wickedly and Petunia made a mental note to send all her professors sympathy gifts.
"You girls stay safe, and no funny business this year," Vernon said, wagging a finger. "And stay away from that Mizu woman."
"Hi Megumin!" a bright voice said from directly behind Vernon, making him jump up in the air and spin around. Aqua was standing behind him, dressed in Hogwarts robes that had Ravenclaw colors on them for some reason. "Ready to ride the train together!?"
"What are you doing here?" Megumin asked suspiciously. "I thought teachers didn't ride the train."
"Oh we totally can! And I wanted to ride it with all of you guys. Where's Kazuma?" Aqua asked, standing up on her tiptoes and peering around.
"Why should we know where Kazutrash is?" Megumin demanded, planting her hands on her hips.
"Um, well...he is our friend...but he's probably with Draco and Dust, Miss Mizu," Yunyun said.
"Ugh, he would be in Slytherin wouldn't he? Stupid hikkineet," Aqua grumbled. "Oh well, I'm going to go look for him, save me a seat!"
Aqua wandered off, earning her concerned stares from Vernon and Petunia.
"Is she really your teacher? I listened to some of her songs, they're catchy but I don't see how that qualifies to teach a defense class," Petunia said, sounding rather incredulous.
"At least she's not dressed up like a tart this time. And stay away from that fan club of hers," Vernon ordered. "Bloody maniacs, the lot of them. Axis. Might as well name themselves the Aqua Youth or some such nonsense."
After a final round of goodbyes, Megumin and Yunyun got aboard the train, where they soon located Ron, along with his younger sister.
"H-hi, Ginny," Yunyun said, waving timidly. "A-are you going to be in G-gryffindor w-with us."
"I don't know, every other Weasley is. Maybe I'll try something different," Ginny said with a shrug.
That caused Yunyun to beam happily. "Y-You could be in Hufflepuff, w-with me! W-we'd be great friends!"
"Hmm." Ginny gave Yunyun an ingratiating smile, then turned to Ron. "Seriously, I'm not sitting with you. I'll catch whatever makes you lot utterly mad."
"Well I don't want to sit with my baby sister either. Bad enough mum wants me to babysit you, I-OW!" Ron rubbed his arm and glared at Ginny, who had just sucker punched him.
"I'm not a baby!" the baby Weasley insisted. "Ugh. I'm going to go sit somewhere else. Maybe I'll find someone interesting."
She turned around and flounced off, causing Ron to roll his eyes. "Little sisters. Well, maybe she won't be in Gryffindor. That would be a mercy."
Yunyun gave Ron a hurt look, but Megumin shrugged. "It's nice to have a break from your sister sometimes."
"M-Megumin!" Yunyun gasped, looking even more wounded.
"What?" Megumin asked, glaring at Yunyun. "Surely you get sick of me sometimes too."
"But...but...w-we're sisters!" Yunyun protested. "Y-you adopted me!"
"Yes, and as Ron pointed out, sometimes siblings get sick of one another," Megumin said with a shrug.
Yunyun bristled, then squeaked, "W-well, I-I'm going to sit with my own f-friends!"
Then, clutching her journal to her chest, she scurried off.
"What's eating her?" Ron said, frowning.
"Should I go after her?" Darkness asked, looking rather concerned.
"There you lot are," Hermione said, coming down the train. "You have a compartment yet? Where's Yunyun?"
"She said she is sitting with her other friends," Megumin explained. "Let's just sit here."
"What, is she sitting with Dust and those other two?" Hermione asked as they went inside.
"I guess. It's about time she actually made her own friends," Megumin huffed.
"Oh don't start that again," Ron groaned. "Look, we're your friends, AND we're Yunyun's friends. It's not a competition you know."
"Everything is a competition if you try hard enough," Megumin answered.
Ron considered that, then shrugged. "Eh, I guess. Certainly was with my brothers."
They had been sitting for only about half an hour when the door flung open. "There you are, Megumin! Oh, and Darkness too! Kazuma wouldn't even let me sit with him, can you believe it?" Aqua asked as she entered and sat down.
The four students blinked at their teacher, who made herself comfortable without an invitation. "Hey, have you seen the dessert trolley? I want some chocolate!"
"Er, I don't know. Isn't it a bit...odd that a professor is on the train?" Hermione asked. "And why exactly were you at Yunyun's birthday?"
"Because she's my friend, duh! And I've always wanted to ride the Hogwarts train," Aqua explained.
"Aren't you American?" Hermione asked, frowning slightly. "Didn't you go to Ilvermorny?."
"Um, I went to...Clortho! Yep, Clortho Wizarding school," Aqua said confidently.
"Where is that, exactly?" Hermione asked, now sounding very suspicious.
"America, probably," Aqua answered. "Oh, by the way, guess who I have with me? You'll never suspect it!"
"I dunno, but if you're going to do one of those party tricks again I have to see it, those were brilliant," Ron said eagerly, leaning forward.
Aqua tittered, then, with a flourish, produced a small yellow fuzzy ball. "Ta-da! What do you guys think?"
After a moment, the ball stood up and let out a "PEEP!"
"It's...a baby chick?" Darkness said. She smiled, then reached out and gently patted the small animal. "It's cute. What's its name?"
"Ugh, don't you recognize Emperor Zel?" Aqua asked, looking slightly offended. "Well, I guess the other one was a dragon I raised, but this one's a chicken named in his honor!"
"Why do you have a chicken? I thought we were only allowed rats, cats, toads, and owls," Hermione said, wrinkling her nose.
Aqua tittered. "Well, as a super amazing professor, I, Aqua, am allowed to bring whatever I want! And just you wait, Miss Smartypants! You might think you're a big know it all, but I am super smart! I planned ahead on this one, and I'll make this year a breeze! I just have to search Ginny's stuff and then Emperor Zel will save the day. That's just how talented I am!"
"Wait, why are you searching my sister's stuff?!" Ron demanded, looking suddenly outraged.
"Duh, because I don't want to bother with all the dumb drama and just have fun. Oh, look, the trolley!"
"Anything from the cart, dears?" the trolley lady asked, smiling as she peaked her head into the compartment.
"Yes, we'll have five of everything! And tell Kazutrash that if he had sat with me I would have bought him something too, because I'm like super rich now!" Aqua laughed.
"Er, should a teacher really be buying us sweets?" Hermione asked.
Ron looked a bit guilty as Aqua handed him a cauldron cake. "Yeah, you're not like, bribing us or anything, right? What do you think Megu- Oh hell, she's gonna make herself sick again!"
Megumin tried to say, "I will not!" but it came out more as "Ugh ill unga" because her mouth was full of sweets.
"Professor, you're not going to be sick either are you?" Darkness said warily as Aqua scarfed down a pumpkin pastie.
"Pff, Goddesses don't get sick, you should know that!" Aqua said, spraying crumbs everywhere.
"Great. Now there's two of them," Hermione groaned, making a disgusted face. "Ah! No, Megumin, don't steal mine to eat more, you really are going to be sick!"
Some time earlier, Kazuma had been sitting with Draco in their own compartment. "Ugh. I can't believe a professor wanted to sit with us. What a killjoy."
"She's a bit odd," Draco agreed. "She acted like she knew you."
"I mean we did meet at Yunyun's party but it's still weird. Maybe we can trick her into giving us extra points or something because we're her 'friends,'" Kazuma mused. "This year we'll have to get a proper reward for winning."
"Huh? What do you mean?" Draco asked.
Before Kazuma could explain, the door popped open and Dust stuck his head in. "Hey guys! Guess what!? I've had a brilliant idea!"
"Does it involve dragons?" Draco asked, sounding weary at the entire prospect.
"No, see, this one's even better! You know what our group needs?" Dust asked.
"A gullible dupe to take the fall for us?" Kazuma asked sweetly. "But I already have you and Draco."
Draco rounded on Kazuma, glaring at him, but Dust shook his head. "Nah! We need more members! To round out the group, you know. Someone to help us compete with Megumin's lot."
"I swear if you've got Yunyun outside and you're going to make is sit around and hold hands and sing some stupid arse songs-" Kazuma growled.
"No, no, you see-"
"Are you going to let me in or not?" an irate voice demanded. "I'm not just going to stand here, Goyle. You said you knew a way to make myself stand out more than my brothers."
"Wait, who's out there?" Draco asked suspiciously. "Because that sounds like-"
Dust was suddenly shoved aside, and a red headed girl in first year robes came in and plopped down. "Ugh. It smells like Slytherin in here."
"A Weasley!?" Draco demanded, glaring at Dust. "Are you insane?!"
"No, no, hear me out!" Dust explained, coming in. "You see, I was thinking. What does Megumin's group have that we don't?"
"Suicidal impulses?" Kazuma guessed.
"A lack of grooming, more like," Draco said with a snort.
"A girl! We totally don't have a girl!" Dust explained. "We've got to have one."
"Are you serious? That's why you wanted me to come with you?" Ginny demanded, making a face. "I'm not a mascot, you arse."
"Yeah, but see, girls can like, go places we can't," Dust explained.
"Like where?" Draco demanded.
"Well, the girl's loo for one," Dust pointed out.
"That's disgusting. You're all disgusting. I'm leaving," Ginny huffed, and made to stand up.
"No, no, wait," Kazuma said, a contemplative look coming into his eyes. "Sit down. I think this could work."
"Why?" Ginny demanded, glaring at Kazuma. "You're not some kind of pervert, are you? Because if you are, I'll tell my brothers on you."
"We're not afraid of Percy, he's just a bookworm prefect," Draco sneered.
Ginny rolled her eyes. "I don't mean him. I mean Fred and George. They're bloody merciless if they think you've wronged them."
"I like the way you think," Kazuma said with an evil grin. He suddenly pitched his voice to a sleazy, weedling tone. "I suppose you'll be in Gryffindor with your brothers."
"Probably, all the Weasleys end up in Gryffindor," Ginny said with a shrug.
"That wouldn't be too bad...you could be our spy then," Kazuma mused.
"Spy!? I'm not going to betray my family! I just thought- ugh, never mind, this isn't worth it!" Ginny said, and made for the door.
"Hold up, hold up. We'll buy you something from the trolley if you stick around. We've got five sickles each to spend on food. We'll buy you whatever you want," Kazuma offered.
Ginny paused. "You mean it? Whatever I want? I can eat a lot, you know."
"Absolutely," Kazuma agreed eagerly. "Just hear me out. Have you ever thought of being just a bit more...ambitious...in life?"
Slowly, Ginny sat back down. "You're not trying to talk me into Slytherin are you? It won't work."
Kazuma hastily shook his head as Draco frowned at him. "Oh, no, no, I'm just saying...bit boring, being in the same house as all your family, right? You want to stand out, don't you? Be your own person."
"Maybe," Ginny said, her eyes narrowing. "A bit."
"Your brothers are all so successful. Head boy, quidditch captain, prefect, beaters, and the youngest seeker in a century," Kazuma sighed heavily. "It's so hard to stand out in the crowd."
"Well, I'm a girl so there is that," Ginny said with a shrug, but she looked interested.
"Oh yeah." Kazuma suddenly pitched his voice to a fair imitation of Mrs. Weasley. "Ah yes, my sons, so accomplished! Percy's head boy this year, like Charlie was, and, well, Fred and George are on the Quidditch team like Ron is, he was the youngest Seeker in a Century. Oh, Ginny? We'll, she's a girl so that's enough I suppose, she can wear dresses and play with dolls.'"
"I'll play with your nose if you make fun of my mum," Ginny threatened, raising a fist.
"Wouldn't think of it," Kazuma assured her. "But, you want to be more, right? So why not join the Kazuma Crew?"
"The what?" Draco demanded. "Kazuma Crew? I think you mean Malfoy's Minions."
"We're not minions, Malfoy," Kazuma said patiently. "But, well, a crew...we defeated Voldemort last year. Who knows what we'll do this year? You could be a part of it. Something great."
"I'm still not going into Slytherin," Ginny declared, but she sounded less sure of herself. "I hate Slytherins."
"Walk with me," Kazuma said, and led Ginny outside, shutting the door before Draco and Dust could follow.
"What's this about?" Ginny demanded once they were a few steps away.
Kazuma pulled her in close, lowering his voice. "Listen. You know what I hate?"
"Baths, by how you smell," Ginny said, and made a few gagging sounds.
Kazuma ignored the insult. "Death Eaters. Hate the lot of them."
"But aren't your parents-" Ginny shut her mouth so fast her teeth clacked.
"They are," Kazuma growled. "Oh yes, they are. And you know what they did to me, don't you?"
Ginny nodded mutely, looking rather guilty.
"Well, here's the thing. I want to bring the lot of them down. Think about it! How proud would your parents be if you helped expose Lucius Malfoy and the rest of his cronies?" Kazuma needled.
"Well, they'd be impressed, but how-"
"Think of it! Ginny Weasley: Detective Extraordinaire. You'd be more famous than Megumin is. And for reasons other than property damage. There's got to be a huge bounty on that sort of information, you'd be rich!" Kazuma offered.
"Yeah, OK. But why are you-"
"I need allies," Kazuma explained. "And, well, I need Draco and Dust dragged out of it before they turn into a bunch of arseholes like their parents. So. You get into Slytherin, and you help me out, and we'll go down in history together as the ones who destroyed the Death Eaters."
"How, exactly, are we going to do that?" Ginny demanded.
"You'll have to get into Slytherin and earn my trust before I can explain all of it to you, Ginny," Kazuma said, brushing the concerns aside. "So, just help me out here. Ah, the trolley! Ma'am, my friend here is hungry."
Kazuma loaded Ginny down with sweets, then made her promise to think about his offer. "Plus, any dungeons we clear this year, you'll get a junior share in," he added."
"Well that doesn't sound too bad. Not sure about Slytherin though," Ginny said around a mouthful of chocolate.
"Just think about it. Now, I need to go work on Draco. He doesn't know he needs to be saved yet, but I'll bring him around. He's an arse but he's my arse, you see?"
Ginny giggled at that. "What, you've got two bungholes?"
"I, no, I- Look! We're mates. So let me bring him around. Then, I dunno, later you can seduce him or something."
"Seduce him!?" Ginny gasped, jerking away from Kazuma. "Why you- UGH!"
Ginny stalked off, fuming, but keeping all of her food.
"See you in Slytherin!" Kazuma called cheerily.
Ginny turned around long enough to make a very rude gesture, then stalked off and went into a different compartment.
Chuckling to himself, Kazuma headed back.
"Hey Kaz, you get her to join? Draco thinks it's dumb, but it's a totally brilliant idea, right?" Dust said eagerly.
"You know, I think she's interested. Why don't you go see if you can track down the trolley and buy her more food, Dust? She ate all of mine," Kazuma suggested.
Dust agreed and headed out, and Kazuma turned to the scowling Draco.
"My father is angry enough already. I'm not consorting with another blood traitor, Kazuma."
"No, no, no," Kazuma said patiently. "You're thinking about this all wrong. Weasley's a pure blood family, right? One of the oldest and least tainted."
"Yeah, but that doesn't keep them from being traitors," Draco said, still looking put off.
"So, think of it this way: How awesome would it be if we convinced a Weasley to go into Slytherin and become one of us?" Kazuma asked. "What if you could tell your dad that you turned one of Dumbledore's stooges into an ally of his?"
Draco blinked at that. "Well, I mean…"
The hook was set. Now to reel him in. "Think of how proud your parents would be of us!" Kazuma said, sliding over and putting an arm around Draco's shoulders. He gestured broadly before them, as if painting an image. "We get a girl. A nice, pureblood girl, and teach her how to be a proper Slytheirn. How angry would Dumblebore and his cronies be? Your dad would be over the moon! It's the perfect setup!"
"Maybe, but-"
"And, of course, since she's a girl, she's a proper candidate for, you know, the future," Kazuma pointed out.
"Ew," Draco said, making a face.
"How often was your mum on about you being around 'that mudblood skank?'" Kazuma asked, the word feeling like ash in his mouth. "But you can show her you're a new man! Someone she can be proud of! Making alliances, building an empire. Think of it: First, you bring over a Weasley, and before you know it, you'll be Minister for Magic! The youngest ever!"
"You...you really think so? Minister?" Draco asked, looking increasingly taken with the idea.
"The sky's the limit! Maybe even the Supreme Mugwump of the ICW! Your parents would be thrilled! They'd brag about it all the time, buy you brooms, whatever you wanted if you showed them you were on the right track!" Kazuma promised.
"Yeah...yeah...let's do it!" Draco agreed, jumping up. "We'll go talk to Weasley and-"
"Woah there tiger, slow down," Kazuma said, shaking his head. "Give her some time to think. She's eating now. In a few hours, when she's had time to digest, we show up with more food and some butter beers and ply her again. Show her how charming we can be. It'll work out! You'll see."
"You're right. I'm glad I thought of this," Draco agreed, nodding to himself.
Kazuma managed to stop himself from rolling his eyes. What a tosser. But he was Kazuma's tosser. "Yeah mate, good on you."
And Kazuma was not leaving Draco behind. Besides, what better way to torture the Death Eaters than to take away their familes, just like Kazuma's was taken away from him?
Oh yeah. It was all coming together.