"It's not like I was never happy." Astrid started. She was twirling her engagement ring around her finger. "Because Hiccup makes me really happy." Astrid tears up "But I always go back that dark place. And I don't think I'll ever be able to leave it. It's like the world is telling me not to be happy, and I hear Sam's voice in my head telling me 'you're not supposed to be happy. Don't be happy.' So… maybe I'm trying to sabotage my relationship…" Astrid finally admitted to herself. The past five, maybe even eight years, out in the open.

Ruffnut hugged Astrid. She couldn't believe that her best friend would feel this way. "Don't worry, Astrid. You're going to be okay… You're not self-sabotaging yourself."

"But I'm cutting again! This is the happiest time in my life, I'm getting married to the guy I love, I'm having a baby soon. Why can't I just be happy."

Astrid was generally confused about that. She tried. She honestly tried to be happy. She tried so damn hard.

But was it enough? Was it enough for this child she's bringing into this world in less than eight months.

"Like I said… I don't expect you to understand." Astrid whispered

"You're right, we don't understand." Ruffnut said "Because you don't fucking talk to us."

"Ruffnut!" Fishlegs said "Don't yell at her, she went through a very traumatic event in her adolescent years. That's not just something you forget in eight years."

Astrid could kiss Fishlegs right now. He was the only one that kinda understood.

"Then why doesn't she see a therapist!?" Ruffnut asked

"Because I can deal with things on my own!" Astrid shouted

Ruffnut grabbed her wrists roughly and made Astrid look at her scars "THIS ISN'T DEALING THINGS ON YOUR OWN!" Ruffnut shouted "THIS IS KILLING YOURSELF!"

"DON'T YELL AT ME!" Astrid yelled, pushing Ruff away from her "AND DON'T TRY TO UNDERSTAND! YOU HAVE A PERFECT LIFE!"

"YOU THINK MY LIFE IS PERFECT!?" Ruffnut screamed at her "YOU ARE MISTAKEN, BUD!"

"Everyone…" Fishlegs kind and gentle voice interjected "just… calm down…"

Astrid glared at Ruffnut and stormed out of the house.

"You shouldn't have yelled…" Fishlegs said

"What was I supposed to do, Freddie? Our best friend is killing herself. She's having a kid soon, and she keeps cutting herself."

"You know, Ruff, you're the only person to actually stand by her, minus that time in high school. After Hiccup left, and she was broken shell of a person, who stood by her? You did. She's trying to make you understand what she's going through, and you can't just get make and bring up her scars, physical or emotional."

Ruff looked down "I guess it's better than her being a heroin addict…"

Astrid was ashamed with herself as she knocked on the door. Eret was shirtless as he opened the door, and Astrid knew it was a bad idea.

"I'm sorry, this was a bad idea…" Astrid looked down

"No, sorry, I was cooking dinner…"

"Shirtless, were you posing for a fireman's calendar?" Astrid laughed at her own joke, and damn it, she sounded like Hiccup. "Sorry, I had a fight with Hiccup…"

"Come in…" Eret let her and Astrid crossed her arms

"I just… I needed to ask you a few questions."

"What about? Eret asked

"About stress and pregnancy."

Eret deflated and sat down "Well… it's not a good thing, and we recommend cutting all stress for the nine months, but of course you can't always do that."

"What if… it's PTSD?" Astrid looked at him, and he looked confused. Astrid played with her sleeves "I was… abused in high school by my ex-boyfriend."

"Oh my God, I didn't even… that wasn't in your file."

"I mean… Hiccup helped me a lot, and I was doing a lot better, but then I started getting these dreams." Astrid rolled up her sleeves, showing him her scars. He had this horrified look on his face. "I know it's terrible, and it could kill me, but you know what, I really don't give a shit anymore." Astrid said, matter a factly.

Eret leaned forward on the table, looking her straight in the eye "Then think about your kid. Think about how if you kill yourself, Hiccup and that child that you're carrying will be alone. Ever think of that?"

Astrid stared wide eyed at him. She… she never really thought about like that. Or maybe it was because she never thought she would make it this far into the pregnancy.

"Think about that, Astrid."

"I don't understand…" Hiccup said, drinking his beer. Rosemarie was sitting next to him, holding her beer "I just… I'm trying so hard to make her life as perfect as I can, but we keep getting to this spot, where I feel like cutting and abusing herself is taking over her life. Why can't I make it better?"

"Oh, Henry, honey, You can't save the world, you can't make everything right. Life is always going to get in the way, and it's going to suck, but you have to realize just how lucky you are." Hiccup scoffed "I'm serious, you have a mother who loves you more than anything, a loving fiancee, a beautiful home, a great job. You're focusing on the negatives."

"You know, I think you're right. I am just focusing on said 'loving fiancee' trying to kill herself. I wonder why I couldn't find the positives in that…"

"Don't you dare use that tone with me, Henry, I'm trying to help."

Hiccup took a sip of beer "I know you are, Rosemarie. I'm just… I just don't know what to do."

"Maybe you just have to let Astrid fix herself before you can do anything, Henry. Maybe it's not your job to fix her."

"It should be my job."

"Well, it isn't and you should get use to that."

Hiccup smiled at her a little "I just… I love Astrid so much, and we've been through so much together, I just feel like I understand her pain a little."

"You don't, Hiccup. She went through years of abuse, and you can't get over that in a couple of years. You have to let her learn to love herself, before you try to fix her."

Hiccup thought this through. He knows what she went through, he knows why she's so broken, but she was doing so well over the last four years, he just doesn't understand where it went all wrong… maybe he was moving toa fast by proposing? Or maybe… he looked at Rosemarie "Do you think it's because of the baby? Do you think she thinks that she's going to lose the baby?" Hiccup ran a shaky hand through his hair. "I never thought about it that way…"

Rosemarie touched his shoulder "Henry, just go to her, okay. You two need to have an adult discussion." Hiccup stood up, swaying. "Or, it can wait until tomorrow. There's no way in hell you're driving like this,"

Astrid fell asleep on Hiccup's side of the bed, wearing on of his sweatshirts. He never came home last night, and to say that she was freaking out was an understatement.

She heard the front door open, and close. She shot up in bed, and Toothless glared at her from his spot on the bed. The familiar clacking of Hiccup's metal foot was music to Astrid's ear.

She walked out of the bedroom and saw Hiccup wearing the same clothes as last night, and hair a mess.

"Hiccup…" Astrid said

Hiccup looked up and smiled "Astrid…" He hugged her tightly

Astrid buried her head in his neck "I'm so sorry about last night, Hiccup, it was a stupid thing to fight about, and I know it's wrong, but I'm really trying to make myself better."

Hiccup closed his eyes, knowing that he could never lose her again. "I'm sorry if I'm the reason you felt like you had to…" He pulled away from their hug "I promised myself that I would never be the reason for you to do this to yourself," His thumbs her stroking the scars on Astrid's stomach "And I broke that promise."

"You didn't make me do this… I made me do this. I deserved it."

"No. No you don't. You are the most wonderful woman in this whole entire world. And I know it's going to take a while for you to see that, but I'll tell it to you every day if I have too, I promise you this now." Hiccup's hands were resting on Astrid's growing baby bump.

"Are you excited?" She whispered

"Of course I am… are you?" Hiccup whispered

"I guess I am, but I'm just waiting to be disappointed."

"Hey, it's not like that time in high school. I'm here, aren't I?"

Astrid smiled "I know you are…"

"And I will be here for you every step of the way."

Scarlett was working on her writing when there was a knock on the door. She set down her pencil and walked to her front door. She opened the door and saw Eret standing there, holding flowers.

"What are you doing?" She asked, raising an eyebrow

"I figured that I needed to take a lovely lady out."

"It's eight o'clock in the morning." She crossed her arms

"It's called a breakfast date, ever been on one?"

"No. But it should be interesting." Scarlett smiled "Let me grab my coat…"

And with that, Eret took Scarlett out, smiling.

I'm sorry for the shitty chapter, but this is has been in the works forever, and last night I finally decided to finish it, but then I feel asleep at the end of it, so that's why it's up today. I'm really trying to write this, and I know what I want to happen, but I don't know how to write it. So, I'll try. Plus, I'm starting school next week.

Stay Perfect!~