A/N: Hey, guys! Hope you all are doing well. Thankfully, I do seem to be getting a little more time to write, so updates shouldn't take forever. This chapter deals with SWAT's episode titled 'Diablo.' I hope you all are enjoying this story. I'm pretty pleased with the reaction on AO3, but it doesn't seem to be doing so great on ffnet. If you're reading this, please, please, please review. Even if you don't like where I'm going with this one, I really want you to tell me. Your feedback is what motivates me. Thank you!
…
Street rolled over to glance at the clock when he heard the front door open. 1:06. JJ was just now coming home, and Street wasn't surprised. This is how it had been for the past month… ever since Reid was arrested.
JJ had been working constantly, and it felt like Street hadn't had any time with her lately. He knew he shouldn't be complaining, after all, he understood why JJ was working so much, and he hated what was happening to Reid, but still… he missed her.
They still hadn't gotten to tell the teams about the baby. With everything going on, it just didn't feel like the right time to share the news. Though JJ was starting to show more, it still wasn't really obvious, so Street wasn't sure if anyone suspected anything. They probably did though, seeing as how JJ wasn't going out in the field.
Street had been trying to distract himself with his own work as much as possible… volunteering for overtime and extra shifts, anything to keep himself from constantly coming home to an empty apartment.
He had tried going to bed earlier tonight, as he had to be at HQ by 4am for a raid… but sleep wasn't coming easy. It never did when a big mission was on the horizon, but it was especially difficult with everything going on. It was hard to sleep knowing JJ wasn't by his side.
Tonight, though, she quietly crept into the room, no doubt thinking he was already asleep. It was dark in the bedroom, but enough glow from the streetlights was shining in so that he could see her as she stripped of her work clothes and replaced them with one of his LBPD shirts.
As she crawled into bed, he finally spoke up. "How'd it go today?" Though it came out barely above a whisper, Street felt JJ jump at the sound of his voice.
"I thought you were asleep."
"Sorry, I didn't mean to scare you." That wasn't hard to do lately, as she was way too on edge for his liking. He pulled her close to him and kissed her soundly. He missed this feeling.
"Sorry I woke you up."
"You didn't. I wasn't really sleeping." He felt her concerned gaze on him. "I've got to be up at three for a raid." He didn't to say anything else. JJ knew how he was before a mission… too wired up to sleep. "How was it for you today?"
"It sucked. I trust the lawyer we have for Spence, but it still feels like we're going nowhere. I mean, he's in prison… and I thought things couldn't get any worse when he was thrown in jail."
"When do you see him again?"
"Tomorrow. I need to touch base with him and the lawyer again."
Street held her tighter, knowing how much this was tormenting her.
"What about you? What's the raid?"
"Drug shipment. We're supposed to be stopping the cartel members as they're flying it in."
"Promise you'll be careful."
He looked into her eyes as best as he could in the dark. "You know I will. I've got to come home to you and our little one… but you better promise the same."
"I will." She leaned up, kissing him softly before curling herself back into his embrace.
…
It was only lunchtime, and JJ was already pissed off. She had gone to the prison to meet with Reid and his lawyer, Fiona. The sight of Reid had broke her heart, as he had been roughed up by some of the inmates… and it showed.
That was something JJ had feared ever since his transfer to the prison. He was in general population and inmates didn't take too kindly to feds. JJ, with the help of Fiona, was still trying to get him into protective custody, but that was a losing battle.
On top of that, she received word that the knife used to murder Nadie Ramos was found… with Reid's prints on it. Fiona wanted him to take a deal and plead guilty to involuntary manslaughter. This way, he would receive two to five years instead of having to fight the possibility of twenty-five to life.
JJ was a little surprised when Fiona offered that deal, as she wasn't expecting anything to do with him pleading guilty. Reid turned it down, and while JJ knew they were nowhere close to winning this case right now, she was glad he didn't give in.
The fight was still present in her agent, and she didn't see that going away anytime soon. She was proud of him, though there was still a long road ahead. She wasn't giving up on Spence, she would fight with everything in her to find justice for her friend. They still had a while before his trial date, and JJ was hoping it would be enough to find who set him up, or at least a plausible lead.
For today, she was working Reid's case, while the team handled another one that was sent their way. She was discouraged by the lack of progress… and the lack of suspects. She had hoped she would be closer to a breakthrough by now. She still didn't know if Scratch was behind this. It was a big possibility, but she couldn't utilize her resources solely on him.
It was frustrating as hell, every bit of it… and right now, she wasn't sure where to turn next.
…
Street couldn't deny that he had been a little distracted all morning. His thoughts always seemed to stray towards JJ and his concern for her.
He needed to pull it together though, because right now, 20-Squad was in the middle of a huge manhunt. The morning's mission had been botched, and their target, who they didn't even realize would be in the U.S., was now on the run.
Street had been paired with Chris, and they were currently searching their designated area.
"What's going on with you?" Chris spoke up beside of him as they continued down the block.
"What are you talking about?" He kept his eyes peeled for any sign of El Diablo.
"You've been acting off for a while now. Something's going on, I just don't know what."
"I don't know what you mean."
She scoffed, and he very briefly turned to glance at her. "Don't bullshit me. You know exactly what I mean."
Street couldn't help but smile at her feistiness. He wasn't surprised that she called him out… she always did. There was no point in continuing to deny anything… and if he was being honest, he didn't really feel like lying to his partner. "I'm just worried about JJ."
"Is she okay?"
"I think so.. It's just that she's had a lot on her lately because of trying to help Reid, and…"
"And you're not getting to see her much."
"Right. I know I'm being selfish about that. Reid needs JJ right now and I can't imagine what he's been going through, so I hate that I'm even bringing it up." He shook his head, as they crossed the road, knowing he was being crazy.
"There's something else, isn't there?" Chris wasn't pulling any punches, always being able to read him like an open book.
He knew he shouldn't tell her about the baby because he and JJ were waiting to tell the teams together… but he needed to tell someone… and who better than his best friend? "Yes, there's something else. JJ's pregnant."
Chris stopped in her tracks, fully turning to look at Street. "You're serious?"
"Yeah." He couldn't help but smile. The thoughts of the child he was having with JJ always brightened his spirits.
"Well judging by the smile on your face, I'm guessing that this is a good thing for you two."
"Definitely. It was a surprise, but a very welcome one at that."
Chris returned his smile before giving him a friendly punch in the shoulder. "Congrats! How far along is she?"
"Four months," he responded as they started their search for El Diablo once again.
"Damn, you don't waste anytime."
Street laughed at his friend, and shook his head. "We're really excited."
"You haven't told anyone?"
"No, we were waiting until she started her second trimester, and that was last month… but then with everything happening to Reid, we just felt like it wasn't a good time to tell everyone. Besides you, Hotch is the only one who knows."
"Okay, well I can keep a secret… and again, congrats."
"Thanks, Chris." Street opened his mouth to say something else, but the sight of somebody across the road shut him up. The guy looked like part of El Diablo's crew, and as soon as Street and Chris were spotted, he quickly ducked into an apartment complex.
Street radioed it in, then he and Chris started after the guy. Chris led the way as they entered the complex back to back.
There was no sign of the suspect, or anybody else for that matter, and Chris alerted Hicks to that fact.
"Chris, Street, get out of there! El Diablo has back up at that location! Fall back!"
At the sound of Hicks' frantic command, the two officers turned to exit the courtyard, but it was too late. Gunfire erupted from up above, and Street was quick to return it while Chris got into better position. Before long, they were both pinned behind a short wall, and more suspects emerged from a position behind them.
Street's mind was racing to find a way out as he reported the new development to command. His main thought was that he had to get his partner out of there, but that was proving to be a difficult task as the gunmen surrounded them… and Street's rifle was out of ammo. "Switching to secondary!"
"Roger! I think I winged El Diablo!" Chris fired the shots while Street switched to his pistol, then he took over as she pulled out a flashbang grenade and launched it at the suspects.
As a few of them dropped, Street and Chris used that as a distraction to find an exit. Street spotted a set of glass doors leading to one of the apartments, and quickly ushered Chris towards it. He struck one of the doors, glass shattering around the two officers, as they made their escape.
'Get her out.' Those were the words running on a loop through Street's head. He couldn't let anything happen to Chris. He quickly led her through the apartment they entered, then out into the hallway, scanning the area for any gunmen.
Chris switched to her pistol, after calling that she was out of ammo. They had just rounded a corner, when Street caught sight of one of El Diablo's men coming their way.
He called out to Chris, but it was too late. As a shot rang out, she hit the ground. Street's heart was in his throat as he returned fire. The suspect dropped to the ground as well, so Street immediately turned to Chris, who was clutching her chest and shoulder. He crouched down, still keeping an eye on the hallway, and moved her hand out of the way so he could see the damage. "Chris, c'mon. Let me see."
He let out a breath he didn't realize he'd been holding, only upon seeing the bullet lodged in her vest. She was struggling to breath, but Street knew they needed to move… now. He pulled Chris to her feet, hating the pain he was inflicting, then shoved her pistol into her hand. "Here, take it, we need to go."
She was barely moving on her own, so he had to drag her down the hall by the straps of her vest, all while she was gasping for breath.
"Chris, how many did you count?" He had to repeat the question again before his partner finally spoke up.
"Uh, nine… including El Diablo. I-I got two." She was struggling to get her words out, and Street knew she was hurting.
"Me too. That leaves five." Saying it out loud made it clear that they were screwed. The two officers were outnumbered, quickly running out of ammo, and Chris was barely standing on her own two feet.
They finally made it to the end of the hallway, and Street pushed Chris behind the wall for cover. They were in no position to win against the five gunmen that, Street knew, were quickly approaching. It was a hopeless situation.
The suspects could be heard getting ready to turn the hall, but then a door opened behind Chris and Street, and he quickly turned and aimed his pistol. He lowered it upon seeing a woman in scrubs, and she ushered the two of them inside her apartment.
Street made sure Chris got inside before following her and closing the door. They sent the woman to hide with her daughter in the bathroom, then kept an eye on the hallway through the peephole.
The suspects were kicking down doors, trying to find the two officers. Street turned to Chris, who was finally able to hold herself up. "We can't stay here. It puts these civilians at risk."
She nodded, breathlessly. "We engage as soon as they come out of that apartment."
"What?" There was no way he was letting her go up against these guys… not right now. "Chris, you're injured. I'll-"
"Street, no, I'm fine."
He didn't like it. It was putting her right back in the line of fire… but there was no other option. He reluctantly nodded, and they both stepped closer towards the door.
The suspects were coming into the hall, and Street knew it was just about time to engage. In the back of his mind though, he knew even giving it their all wouldn't be enough. These guys were ruthless, and they enjoyed killing cops.
Street briefly closed his eyes, picturing JJ and the sight of her carrying their unborn child. He desperately prayed that he would make it home to them, and that he could get Chris home too. He looked at his partner, signaling that it was time, then reached out for the doorknob.
Before he could complete his task, gunfire could be heard from the other side of the door, as well as bodies dropping to the ground. Then there was a moment of silence.
Street exchanged a look with Chris, then let out a sigh of relief when Hondo's voice called out to them. "Coming out!" He opened the door to see 20-Squad standing amongst a pile of El Diablo's men. He had never been happier to see his team.
After Chris assured Hondo that she was fine, she and Street restocked their ammo and went with the team to find El Diablo.
Street was still concerned about Chris, but he knew she wouldn't rest until their man was captured… there was no talking her out of it either.
Within an hour, they had officially completed the mission and headed back to HQ. Street was already changed into civvies and, after a brief talk with Chris, he made his way to the apartment.
He was still on an adrenaline high when he got there, and his mind was racing with thoughts of how today could have ended. An officer had been shot and killed during the manhunt, and Street felt so bad for his family and team. He was grateful that his own team hadn't suffered the same fate. He knew it easily could have been one of them so he was thankful to be alive and to have his partner still alive. The whole situation shook him up more than he cared to admit. Seeing Chris go down the way she did was truly terrifying as he had no idea what condition she was in for those few moments… then, the thoughts of not making it home to JJ rattled him to his core.
All he wanted to do was pull her into his arms and reassure himself that they were both okay… but of course, she wasn't yet home. No surprise there.
Being so wound up, Street couldn't just relax on the couch like he wanted to do. His body, nor mind would let him sit still for very long. Knowing rest wasn't an option, he put on a pair of sweats and tennis shoes, then headed back out the door for a long run.
It was kind of cold outside, a light rain even starting to pick up, but the cool air felt nice against Street's skin. The complex had a nice walking trail, one that Street and JJ frequented as much as they could.
It was just past six, so daylight was barely starting to fade. Not many people were out, and Street was glad. The near silence helped him to clear his mind.
After completing three miles, he went back inside, stripped of his clothes, and stepped into a steaming hot shower. His muscles were tense, his body covered in sweat, and he hoped this would help him to relax.
He was considerably calmer once he got out, but still not completely at peace with the day's events. He desperately wished JJ was there, she always helped him to relax after a stressful day… but while he had been in the shower, she left a text saying she was still at the office and for him not to wait up.
Letting out a sigh, he wondered when things would ever return to normal. Oh well, dwelling on it was going to get him wound up again, so he needed to stop that turn of thoughts from progressing.
On top of all that, he was still worried about Chris, even though she assured him that she was fine before leaving the locker room earlier.
Maybe calling her was what he needed to do. With that thought in mind, he settled down on the couch and grabbed his cell phone to dial Chris' number.
After a few rings, she finally picked up. "Alonso."
"Hey, hope I'm not bothering you."
"No, I'm just watching TV. What's up?"
"Just wanted to check on you, see how you're feeling."
She chuckled on the other end of the line, and Street took comfort in the fact that she sounded a lot better than in that hallway. "Street, I told you I'm fine… you don't have to worry."
"I know I don't have to, but that doesn't always seem to stop me."
"Well, I really am fine. What was it you told me before… embrace the pain?"
"Yeah, I think that was it." He smiled remembering the time she came to pick him up after he got his bike damaged and his ass handed to him by that punk in charge of the street race. "I'm surprised you remember that.. I've never had the best words of wisdom."
Chris outright laughed at that, and Street found himself joining her. He was grateful for their talks like this because at one point, they had been pretty non-existent… but over the past while, the pair had found a way back to their previous friendship. "What about you, Street? You okay after today?"
"Yeah, probably just overthinking everything like I always do."
"Maybe you should try getting some rest.. It could actually do you some good, ya know. Everything worked out today, no need to stress over it… and things will get better with you and JJ too."
He sighed. "I hope you're right, Chris. Well, I'm going to let you go. You need to rest too."
"Okay, have a good night, Long Beach."
"You too, partner." He hung up the phone and tossed it down on the coffee table. Stretching out on the couch, he realized just how exhausted he had become. Thankful that the day was finally over, he picked up the remote and settled down for the evening.
…
Street opened his eyes, surprised to see the first rays of sun shining through the windows. He wasn't sure when he had actually fallen asleep, but he knew it was from the adrenaline crash after yesterday's events.
Sitting up and looking around, he realized the apartment was very quiet… and empty. Had JJ already left for work? When had she even come home?
He checked to make sure she wasn't back in the bedroom, then looked outside for her truck. Seeing no evidence that she had even been there this morning, Street grabbed his phone to give her a call.
"Hi, you've reached SSA Jennifer Jareau. I can't take your call right now. Please leave your name and number so that I can get back in touch as soon as possible." It didn't even ring, going straight to voicemail. That was unusual, JJ never turned her phone off.
Just before the worry, which was rapidly starting to take over, caused him to dial the BAU, a familiar sounding vehicle pulled into the lot.
Street let out a sigh of relief at the sight of the Ram, and JJ as she jumped down out of it. He met her at the door. "I just tried calling you."
"Sorry, my phone died at some point. I didn't even realize until I got in the truck."
"Babe, did you even come home last night?"
She shook her head, looking absolutely exhausted. "No, I meant to."
Street was a little agitated. He couldn't help it, he didn't want to be upset with her… but he was still stressed from yesterday, and that's just how he was feeling. Wearing herself out wasn't good for her or the baby. "You meant to?"
"I was staying late at the office, going over our most recent files on Scratch. I lost track of time and fell asleep at my desk." She was pale, dark circles forming under her eyes, and her overall demeanor could only be described as completely defeated. "How was your raid yesterday?"
He ignored her question. "Jay, you can't keep doing this." She went to interject, but he held up his hand to stop her. "I know, I know.. You're doing this for Reid, and I respect that. Reid's my family too, and I want him out of this mess just like you do… but all of this stress that you are putting on yourself is going to make you physically sick, and that won't be good for you or our baby."
For a minute, Street thought JJ was going to snap at him, but the ringing of his cell phone stopped anything else from being said. Finding it on the coffee table, he quickly picked it up. "Street."
It was Hondo. Hicks needed Street and Chris to come give a total account of what happened yesterday at the apartment complex. Otherwise, 20-Squad had the day off.
"Yeah, I'll be there." He hung up the call, and turned to face his fiancé. "I've got to go to HQ for a while, but I should be back before lunchtime. You have the day off, right?"
"Hotch banned me from the office for the rest of the day." She barely even looked at him, and he couldn't tell if she was pissed at him or not.
"Good." Without another word, he went to get dressed, and within a few minutes he was getting ready to leave. "I shouldn't be too long… just have to give a report."
"On yesterday? Did it go okay?"
"We got our guy." Wanting to spare her the worry, he left out the details. "I'll see you later." He stopped long enough to kiss her cheek, then he was out the door. Giving Chris a quick call, he told her he would come pick her up since she was needed at HQ as well, and her apartment was on the way to HQ.
The fifteen-minute drive to get to her was shortened considerably, Street's racing thoughts making him ignore most of the traffic laws known to mankind. Chris wasn't quite ready, so Street went up to her apartment. She had it unlocked for him.
"Hey, Chris. How're ya feeling this morning?"
She smirked as she held a large cup of coffee. "I've had a lot worse. I'll live, but you… you look like you need this more than me." She shoved the coffee in his hands and shook her head. "How is it that I was the one shot, yet you look worse than I do?"
"Funny, Chris." He downed the coffee, which was stronger than you would find on a military base, and took a seat while he waited on Chris to finish up.
"By the way, how many lights did you run getting here?"
"Why must you always think the worst of me?" He gave her a mock glare, throwing one of her own couch pillows at her.
She laughed, easily ducking the soft object. "Seriously though, are you okay?"
"Yeah, I'll be fine."
She nodded. "Okay. You ready?"
"Let's get this over with."
…
JJ was just stepping out of the shower as the house phone started ringing. She wrapped a towel around herself and quickly made her way to pick it up. "Hello."
"Hey, JJ, didn't realize you were home. How's it going?" It was Luca.
"It's alright, Luca. How are you doing?"
"Good, good. Listen, is Street busy?"
JJ was a little confused. Didn't Luca know he was at HQ? "Uh, he's at work, Luca. Are you not?"
"No, 20-Squad has the day off. He's not home?"
"He left about an hour ago, said he needed to give his report from yesterday. You didn't have to?"
"Well no, but I can understand why he would have to go in… him and Chris at least."
"The raid went okay, didn't it?"
"You mean besides the crashed plane, killed patrol officer, then the situation with Street and Chris? Yeah, I guess it was okay."
Wait, what? "What do you mean, what happened?"
"He didn't tell you? Oh crap. Uh, maybe I should go."
"No, wait!" JJ stopped Luca before he could hang up. "What happened yesterday? And so help me if you cover anything up."
"Well, he's okay… but things got a little tense. Actually, I'm surprised you didn't see it on the news."
With spending all day working Reid's case, JJ's time was spent either at the prison or holed up in her office. She hadn't even looked at the news, so she wasn't sure where Luca was going with this.
"The plane carrying the cartel and shipment we were after crashed, then we found out that the cartel boss had escaped in the midst of it all. One of his guys killed a patrol officer afterwards. We had this massive manhunt going. Well, turns out the boss had a bunch of back up hiding out somewhere, and it just so happens that Street and Chris stumbled upon that location. They got into a heavy gunfight, Chris got shot in the vest, and actually we were worried we wouldn't get there in time. It was a mess, and the two of them were in the thick of it by themselves." He rushed to get everything out, then finally took a breath.
JJ was quiet for a minute, taking everything in. Why hadn't he told her this? "He didn't get hurt, right?"
"No, he didn't get hurt, JJ."
"Is Chris okay?"
"Yeah, she'll be fine… just bruised up for a while. I really thought you knew."
"Thanks for telling me, Luca." They finished off the conversation, JJ asking who the fallen patrol officer was, then him telling her to have Street give him a call later on. She hung up the phone, just sitting there. She hadn't realized the position Street was put in yesterday, or that he came so close to not making it home. What if it had been him that was shot or killed? The thought brought tears to her eyes.
She could have lost him yesterday, but had no idea because she hadn't even come home. What the hell was wrong with her? Street was right… she couldn't keep doing this. It wasn't just about her anymore, it was about Street and their baby.
JJ guessed they needed to talk, or at the very least, she needed to apologize… so when he got home that afternoon, she was waiting at the kitchen table.
He stopped at the sight of her sitting there, and she was sure her appearance looked like hell. "Hey, you okay?"
She nodded, but before anything else could be said, she was up wrapping her arms tightly around him. He quickly returned the embrace, though she was sure he was confused. "I-I heard what happened yesterday, are you okay?"
"Yeah, I'm fine. It wasn't me that got hurt. How did you even hear about that?"
"Luca called earlier, but that's beside the point. Jim, why didn't you tell me?"
He pulled back, looking directly at her. "Jay, you've been under so much stress, I didn't want to worry you...plus, I didn't really get the chance."
She tore her eyes away from his out of shame. "I could've lost you yesterday, and I didn't even know what you had dealt with. I am so sorry." For the second time that day, tears pooled in her eyes. She tried to stop them, but it was to no avail.
"I'm okay. I'm right here. You don't have to apologize. You've been dealing with too much as it is."
"That's just it, Street... I haven't been here with you. I've been focusing on everything else, and I've put us on the backburner." The tears were flowing now, damn hormones, and the emotional turmoil she was feeling was reflected in Street's eyes. How did she let them get to this point? "I'm so sorry."
Street led them over to the couch and sat her down right beside of him. "Jay, talk to me? What's going through your head right now?"
This was the first real communication they'd had since everything started happening. "I don't know.. I feel like I'm failing."
"Failing?" His voice was barely above a whisper, evidence of his own emotion.
"I'm failing you, and Reid… the team. I'm already failing as a mother and our baby hasn't even been born yet." She angrily swiped at her eyes, willing the tears to stop. She hated showing weakness.
Street grabbed her hands and held them tightly in his own. "Jennifer, you are not failing anything or anyone, do you hear me? You're a hero.. You've been my hero ever since we met, that has never changed, and it never will. I know your team feels that way too, including Reid. You're doing everything you can to help him, he knows that.. And as far as our baby goes, you are already an incredible mother. You told me before that our baby is lucky to have me… that's not true. We are lucky to have you. Don't you ever doubt that."
"Jim, you said it yourself this morning, I can't keep doing this because it's not good for the baby. I'm putting our child at risk."
"JJ, what I said, it was heat of the moment. Do I think you're under too much stress? Yeah, I do… but it doesn't mean I think you are risking our child. I'm sorry I made it sound like that, babe. I just hate seeing you go through all this."
JJ shook her head. "I'm sorry I haven't been here. I- when Luca told me what happened yesterday, it made me realize how I've been handling things. I can't stand the thoughts of losing you, Street, and it dawned on me how dangerous yesterday really was for you. I wasn't even here when you came home."
Street pulled her to his chest. "We're both here now, Jay. It's going to be alright. Just promise me something."
She looked into his eyes, knowing full well she'd promise him the world if he asked.
"Please let your team help you with Reid's case. I know how you are about taking everything on yourself because you feel it's solely your responsibility… but it's not. You don't have to deal with it all alone… and that goes for us too. Instead of bottling all your feelings up, hoping they'll either go away or you'll manage them yourself, let me in. Tell me what you're feeling, and let me help. I want to be here for you, and I will be every step of the way as long as you'll let me."
"I promise, but I want you to promise that too. It needs to go both ways. I know this past month hasn't been easy on you either."
"I promise. We'll be fine, Jay." He kissed her hair, and JJ closed her eyes while being comforted by his presence.
"Thank you."
"No need to thank me.. We stand by each other through whatever." They stayed like that for a while, both of them feeling considerably better. Street knew they could use a little while together before having to start all over again in the morning. Reid's case would still be on the table, but there was nothing JJ could do about it right now. She needed to take a moment to breathe. "Now, Agent Jareau, I do believe we both have the evening off. What do you say we use it to unwind? How does comedy movies and Chinese food sound?"
"Sounds like my kind of night."