Mini update: deleated previous end note. Rest of the updates is at the end. (I'll delete this in a couple days).

SYLPHIETTE

It has been 4 years.

4 years—since Rudeus left us, with that diary.

It was sudden, and I couldn't really understand why.

I feel lost.

Days have no color in them. I am devoid of any emotion—besides one. Sadness.

But, in this 4 years, what plagued me was not only his disappearance, but all that followed.

As his empty presence continued, I was too pained to do anything. Because of that, Ariel pitied me so that she revoked my title of her personal guard, and left for the throne.

She died. I knew it would happen but I did nothing, like a lifeless puppet.

Roxy parted ways after two years, with her child and Dillo. I couldn't stop her. No matter how much I encouraged her to still wait for him, my voice couldn't reach her.

I will never forget her last words.

"He will never come back. For me—for all of us—he died that day. But, you still wait foolishly for a man that betrayed you… how pathetic of you, Sylphiette."

With those words… something broke inside me.

With her departure, things in the house became hectic. Norn had grown hateful of him. You couldn't even slip a reminder of his existence that she would rampage, insults being the only spoken language.

Lilia and Aisha lectured her continuously, but they too, soon, stopped caring. Why defend someone that left them despite all the love they showed him?

Zanoba and Cliff stopped talking. It seems Rudeus was the reason they were friends. Elinalise tried to pry me into finding a way for them to reconcile, but it was futile.

Both Zanoba and Cliff still wished to be friends, but just staying together for a couple of minutes made them realize just how vacant his place was. By staying away from each other, even if it pained them, they could forget about him.

After a while, Lilia suggested to bring Zenith back to her home in Millis. She felt that her parents would be the best people to take care of her. Our money was running out, and our incomes were barely enough to sustain us.

I let her abide at her own thoughts. We asked Perugius for the favor, as the journey would take years. At first, he refused. He felt no need to satisfy our demands since he had no reasons to help us. It was Nanahoshi that saved us, which persuaded him into granting us a last, farewell gift.

Perugius let us set up a one-way teleportation circle to Millis.

Then, Lilia asked me to part ways. She felt that, if left alone, Zenith would cause problems to Claire, and that could ultimately end up badly.

I accepted her proposal.

After hearing the news, Aisha immediately asked Lilia to follow her, but Lilia refused. She said that someone had to take care of us.

When Lilia had gone away, Aisha had changed. The once talkative and shrewd girl was gone. She had become an obedient and silent maid, merely nodding when spoke with. She had lost her reasons to live.

Since then, our household had been set to the road of destruction.

Norn had grown to surround herself with very bad people. I tried to call some sense in her, but the words that she insulted me with made me lose any will to bring her back.

She disappeared after a while, just like him.

This time, though, I tried to search for her. Only to discover that she had fallen to slavery. She had been bought by a wealthy noble in Asura, and the ransom he asked was simply too big.

And so, I decided to kidnap her.

The place they kept her was heavily guarded, and I knew I had no possibilities to rescue Norn. Luckily, I wasn't the only one that wished to save her: a group of men, all somewhat weak-looking, were ready to throw their lives for her. They called themselves "Norn Fan Club," which weirded me out at first, but their intentions were enough to outweigh my prejudices.

We had broke in at night. We had carefully dodged the guards, taking care of only the ones that spotted us. I had no idea of where they kept her, but I presumed the basement, since it's usually the place someone would hide things.

Luckily, I was spot on.

Unluckily, I was too late.

With powerful steps, I sprung open a wooden, heavy door in a fast swoop.

The site that welcomed me was dread incarnated.

Norn was being raped by the very same people she surrounded herself with.

Their elated moans of ecstasy…

Their cynical laughter…

The muffed screaming of her gagged mouth…

The purple skin all over her trembling body…

The resignation in her eyes…

I couldn't control myself. I flew in a rage, and killed them all.

Thanks to the noble sacrifice of the Norn Fan Club, I was able to escape with Norn in hand.

Assassins followed me, Lucie, Norn, and Aisha everywhere we escaped to.

Despite the weak mindset she was in, Aisha still retained enough of her will to try and strategies a way to bring us away from harm's way.

Her plan was to act as a decoy for our escape. After all, the assassins couldn't know that she was associated with us, right?

—They did. They gathered information about us beforehand.

Thinking she got away, they ambushed her on the road we prepared for her own escape.

She died.

After that, it was true hell.

We had to travel out of roads, repel the monsters, hide from human eyes as we had become public enemy of Asura.

Norn's mental state was awful, too. She kept blaming herself for Aisha's death, sometimes sneaking in blames to Rudeus.

She was a big liability in our escape. She was slow, and clumsy, putting us in trouble many times.

I was able to escape their eyes after I gained my hands on an artifact that could change the appearance of the bearer. The same one that Ariel used to change her own appearance when she disguised as others.

Look at it, being auditioned in the back alleys of the slums, the black market, like common jewelry… I tried my best to contain my anger. Fortunately, the dealer had no idea of its true worth, and I got it for cheap.

But despite finding such a great treasure, something terrible was waiting me at the inn I stayed in.

Norn had cut her throat open.

I will never, never forget that.

The blood bubbling from her torn carotid artery…

The smell of iron filling the room…

The knife held in her lifeless fingers…

Lucie that tried to shake Norn awake, her knees drenched in a red pool…

Lucie kept looking at me, thinking that I could do something about it.

But I couldn't. I can't bring back who is no longer with us.

I couldn't bring back Rudeus. I couldn't stop Roxy.

Norn was the last proof of my efforts: she was the only walking example of me, at least, trying to do good.

Yet—I couldn't save her.

I failed.

—I broke.

Without saying a word, I had taken Norn in my arms. I had brought her to the nearby forest, and had burned her corpse. I didn't set a tomb: I simply let her ashes dance with the gales of the wind—away from me, as it should.

Lucie was with me, crying. I can tell: this image, of her loved ones crumbling into dust—it will plasm in her perception of the world.

She had been looking at me, painstakingly. I simply let her eyes wander as they pleased before I prompted her to leave.

We dived in the intricate woods, away from human eyes: away from our problems—away from our sorrows.

It's been a year since that.

I live in a village. It's a bit secluded. I was initially rejected. Not for my features though; I had never taken off the artifact. They simply feared outsiders.

After showing them my magical prowess, they gave me the role of a healer and back-up for monster invasions.

They offered me just a little shack, but it was still better than the streets; and it was all the little money I had could buy, anyway.

Lucie was a strong-willed girl. Despite all the tragic events that surrounded her, she kept on living life. She was talented in magic, too. She learned some easy spells, and soon was able to defend herself from the bullies of the village.

Life here was boring, but in a good way. Nothing too threatening appeared, besides a few Terminate Beasts. By killing them, I had gained favor from the villagers.

It's winter now.

The frigid air punctured my lungs. It itched through my thick gloves.

I am gathering wood for the fire.

I had prepared a stack of it before winter, but some villagers that still viewed me in a bad light destroyed it.

At least some kind-hearted ones decided to share some of theirs, but it wasn't enough to last me until spring.

Now, I have to chop for wood once more… talk about a drag.

My body was getting muscular. I thought that my femininity would vanish, but thankfully my curves grew more prominent in the last year.

"Can we go home now? I wanna play snowball!"

"We need a bit more."

Lucie always wished to be wherever I go. It preoccupied me at first, but I soon understood that she was simply attached to me. Well, who could blame her; I'm all the family she has left.

Grandma Elinalise sometimes comes to visit with Cliff and Clive, but that happens at most twice a year. And she's always too scared of them. It seems all those assassins did a number on her.

Though, Lucie really enjoys playing with Clive. It's like they are made for each other. But If they end up together, isn't it a bit off the top? I'm basically giving my daughter to her great uncle...

Well, they are about the same age, so that's not too much of a big deal.

Axe in hand, I went under a small tree: it was the only kind I could bring down. I'm not strong as men, after all.

I took a heavy swing, chopping slightly the surface. Trees are much harder to cut than some would imagine.

Lucie curiously studied the axe, a glimmer of curiosity shining from her big, red eyes.

"Can I… try?"

"Blades are too dangerous, Lucie. There's still a long way before you can wield one."

"Uuu…"

"Why don't you go play with the other kids?"

"It sucks. They always target me!"

That made me giggle a tiny bit. I can, somewhat, understand her feelings. Though, I wasn't really playing snowball… more like, mudball.

"Mommy is a bit too fast for you."

"Hrmm… this time, I'll hit you!"

Her enthusiasm was quite cute, I have to say. Despite how many times she failed to keep those words, she's still ready to try again. That kind of reminds me of…

—No. Forget about him. He's gone.

As my condensed breathes clouded my vision, I eyed at the barely-nicked tree.

"Ugh…"

You know what, let's do it the smart way.

"Lucie, get back."

"Got it."

She cutely run a few meters away, her eyes full of curiosity.

"Be careful. Something may fly in your way."

"Don't worry mom, I'm a strong girl!"

" Hm," I snorted with laugher, "that's for sure."

I chanted a Sonic Boom.

Air gathered around my hand. An invisible force, sharper than a blade, dashed through the icy winds. It loudly split the tree from its trunk, falling away from us.

"Woah! Your Sonic Boom is much stronger than mine!"

"That's experience for you, Lucie. Understanding and, like I taught you, visualization of magic is key to be more powerful." I held my head high, proud of my child's compliments.

"Ohh!" Her eyes shone with enthusiasm. "That means I'll be able to do that stuff one day!"

"Oh no, Lucy. You won't just be like me, you'll be much more better than me."

Lucy caught a breath in her throat, as her eyes glimmered with shock. She moved her right foot in circles, keeping her head down shyly.

"Y-You really think so?"

"It's not my simple thinking—it's destiny."

Children are often, if not always, better than their parents. When that doesn't happen, it's usually due to the pressure they are subjected from their family.

But I won't be like those kind of people. I'll be better than them—and better than him.

--

Once again, me and Lucie played snowball behind our shack. I easily dodged all of her strikes, and hit her as many times as she missed.

Today, though, she was a bit close. Maybe I should try harder… better not. Maybe I should instead just let her hit me once these days. She's grown sully with the lack of achievements.

Our food was ready.

I took the ring and slid it off, and my face quickly changed. My hair turned whiter than the snow, and my eyes glowed red. My ears grew in sharpness, and so did my features.

Lucie gave a sideways glance, always captivated by my true appearance. Well I'm beautiful, alright, there's no need to remind me.

"Mommy… why are you puffing your chest?"

"N-Nothing!?"

Anyway, for dinner: potatoes in a soup. Not the best of meals, but I was the cook; it's bound to be yummy!

"Ugh…"

Well, I hoped. Lucie was already moaning in displeasure after a few spoons.

That's to be expected. The quality of the ingredients was quite poor.

… I'm a good cook! Rudeus—

No. Forget about him. Forget. He's no longer here. He left us.

"Mommy… are you hurt? You're trembling…"

Lucie glanced at me worriedly. She had left her plate on the table, and rushed to my side.

Look at me, upsetting my own child…

I quickly regained my composure. I took a bite, exaggerating a "mmm!" as I forced my poor dish down my throat. This will easily distract her.

"I was simply mesmerized by my culinary abilities, sweetie."

"Oh… alright. You scared me! But what does… 'mesmerized' mean?"

"It means that I have fallen in love!"

"… So, my dad is now a soup?"

"Your real dad won't change just like that…"

"But I don't have a dad! All the other kids call me fatherless!"

"——"

A self-deprecating giggle hummed in my throat. I looked at the bits of the potato in my plate, toying with them as I thought back… to the good times.

"You know well that you had one."

"But I don't remember much—could you tell me more about him?!"

"You want me to… talk more about your father?"

"Yeah!!"

Lucie was overthrown with enthusiasm.

" Hahh… he was, handsome. Tall. He had green eyes, and hair just like yours."

"Hoohh!"

She cutely played with her hair, struggling to focus on the little strand she moved between her eyes.

"He was a magician, just like me, but… very powerful—much, much more than me. So strong, yet he hated fighting."

"How, how strong was he?"

"More or less… how I am to you. Overwhelmingly so."

"Wow… isn't he the strongest then?"

"The world is bigger than you think, sweety… but I think the same as you."

I took a spoonful of my badly made dish, prompting Lucie to do the same. After gulping down the hard bits of a potato, I went on.

"He was a bit awkward when dealing with people. Despite his strength, he was always afraid of upsetting anyone—especially… well, anyone I guess."

I shouldn't mention Norn; Lucie might cry.

"But why did he leave us…?"

Lucy eyed me, teary. I couldn't meet her gaze, and my lips quivered at her intensity.

"I… I don't know."

"D-Did… did he do " puff!" and disappeared!?"

"Y-yes, in a way…"

"Doesn't that mean… he didn't love us anymore?"

"Ah."

I.

I…

I…

I was trembling in my boots. I was breathing ruggedly, my hands reaching to my throat as I tried my best to speak. I couldn't. My head pulsed in pain, as a powerful headache kept me awake, instead of fainting.

My breath was getting faint.

Memories are forcing their way in my thinking. Memories of him, only him, when he was here, in my dreams, in my lips, in my legs, in my heart, in my house, in my life—why did you leave, if you were the happiest? Why did you lie, and smile, and leave me and our child?

This isn't like you. This can't be real. All of this is just a bad dream… it has to be. It has to be.

But why am I suffering so? Why is this pain so vivid, and this distress so twisted?

But, if it's my imagination, or simply the byproduct of my delusions, this is still my reality—one where I couldn't keep anyone I cherished.

And he left me.

He left me. He left me, he left me, he left me.

What am I going to do now?

Should I… should I, k—

"—M! Mom, mom. Mom!"

As my headache grew lighter, a subtle cry lead me outside of my swirling thoughts, as I was lost in the current of my trauma.

I opened my eyes to see the table. I raised my head.

As I squinted my eyes, an itching pain raised in my right eye. I inspected it, just to dirty my fingertips in blood.

I looked at the table I raised my head from, and everything was all over the place.

"Lucie… what happened?"

"Y-You… suddenly started breathing strange, a-and then—waaahh!!"

"Oh… Lucie, I'm so sorry…"

I took her in my arms, understanding things more clearly. I had a panic attack, most likely triggered by the nostalgic memories of Rudeus. I have to admit, despite giving it my all, I can't forget… I simply can't.

No matter how painful, or how excruciating; just like something is the reminder of a shattered past, it can still linger a wistful air—put it simply, his memory is also that of a better time.

I accepted it long ago. He may have given me the worst time in my whole life, but the best, too.

Thus, I am a slave of the past. How pathetic, really. No matter where I go, I can't escape my flaws.

" Augh… ugh…"

My tears naturally flowed out my eyes, and they would've done so even if I tried to stop them.

Lucie was still crying. I have to be strong, for her.

I wiped away my sadness, painting a bitter smile on my distraught features. At my change of heart she slowly stopped sobbing, her breath now calm.

"He… he… he left us—because he couldn't trust us."

"B-But… why?"

"I… I don't know."

We stood in silence for a little while. We both stood still, sometimes giving a bite to the now cold soup. Sometimes the snow ticked the roof in a somewhat rytmic way, giving me a sense of respite.

As my turmoil vanished, I decided to make things clear.

"I, I already accepted it; he is no longer coming back. You should, too—just to not trouble yourself anymore with this matter."

A serious expression grew on my face. Lucie pouted.

"I really didn't care about him anyway."

As her nose contorted, I immediately knew she had still something to say.

Suddenly she struck a pose.

A hand on the hip, the other clenched in a fist with the thump up. She tried to wink, but had trouble in closing only one eye.

"As long as mommy is with me, I'm happy!"

"—!"

It's the same one Rudeus does.

She most-likely doesn't remember him anymore, but a part of her still comes from him. Quite strange, but I can't help but laugh.

She looked so proud and happy of doing it that a surge of lenniness welled in my heart.

I couldn't control it.

"Aww…"

I immediately wrapped my arms around her silhouette, bringing her in an embrace. She followed me instantly, giving me a deep hug on her own.

I basked in that warm feeling. It fuzzed my heart, and mended the cracks from my once pitiful times.

I'm still lost in that forsaken pond of depression, but I can now feel like I'll soon find a shore of peacefulness. After that… well, it's a better life.

As I rambled in my head, I noticed the light dimming out. The sun was setting. It was getting late.

I had to patrol the village at dusk. A dangerous job, especially if done alone, but that's a proof of how much the village respected me. To be honest, it's not that much of a deal. The worst I faced in this place was C-rank monsters.

I got up from the table and took my fur cloak. I made it personally with some animal skin. It took a lot, and it was barely enough for it's job… but I can't be too greedy. There's no tailor here, and the nearest city is more than a week on foot.

"Mom has to work now. Make sure to finish your food. Strong girls eat all their meal!"

"But you haven't finished it too… does it mean you're not a strong girl?"

"You little…"

As usual, nothing happened. Just met a treant that came from the forest. These ones are much stronger than Byt, yet nothing that a Sonic Blast can't handle.

Byt… I wonder how it's doing. Aisha told me she was going to take care of it after we left, but I suppose it withered, or monsterfied.

Anyway, It was an eerie job, but it paid well. And with my heightened senses, it's a cake walk to spot any anomalies in the borders of this secluded village.

Lucie is in bed. We had separate beds—at her own request. After noticing the amount of rooms, she immediately suggested the idea. At first, she snug in the middle of the night because she was afraid. But after a while, she stopped doing so.

She's growing. I can remember it like it's yesterday… she was once such a cutie patotie… well, she's still, if I have to be honest.

Finally, I can enjoy my bed. Patrol was exhausting as always. I'm beat. In this occasions, I'd cuddle with Rudeus… but oh well, it's a pity. He's no longer here.

I took off my heavy clothes, and threw my dead weight under the thick covers.

The bed felt cold.

Unbearably so.

Wait, isn't the bed way too cold?

—It has always been cold, since he left.

It's cold.

It's cold…

Too cold.

I'm freezing.

My tears are seeping.

My heart is shivering.

—Why did he leave me?

Did I disgust him? Was I not enough? Didn't I give my all?

Even so, he couldn't trust me… he couldn't love me more than he feared me.

I couldn't take his heart like he took mine.

"Rudy… where are you?"

A meagre plea. Yet it won't reach the ears of anyone. I'm alone, in my bed.

—I'm cold.

So cold.

Too cold.

Unbelievably cold.

I'm shivering.

The cold is creeping under my skin…

The cold is crawling in my muscles…

The cold is digging in my bones…

My mind is devoid of any emotions, as the trauma of a lost life besieges my fleeting consciousness.

My existence is that of failure. Despite having more than I deserved, I crumbled at the mere obstacle.

I let him doubt me.

I let him escape from me.

—I feel cold.

I feel so cold.

I feel so unbearably cold.

I'm shivering.

I'm trembling.

I'm crying.

"Why…"

I'm… I'm…

I…

…

What?

I feel… warmer.

My tears, once running on my cheeks, disappeared. As if wiped away.

I feel warm.

It feels like I'm now before the fire, as the cold cowered away.

I'm warm.

I feel alive once again.

"Don't worry, I'm not going anywhere."

It's his voice.

I slightly opened my eyes, barely so. It was just an instant, but I glimpsed my reflection in his teary, green eyes.

This place; this isn't my musty, old bedroom that smelled of decaying bark… it's Rudeus' room.

With tears still welled up over my eyelashes, I gasped in stupor.

I see now.

That fallen Utopia… that broken reality…

It was all a dream.

"Thank, goodness…!"

As happiness washed over me, so did a wave of relief that immediately put me to sleep.

The morning sun bathed me. It felt strangely refreshing, despite stopping my slumber. Just as I jolted awake, I immediately scanned my surroundings as the events of that long, long dream replayed in my mind. The instant I batted my eyelids, he entered my field of view.

Rudeus was asleep. Rivulets marked his cheeks, telling that tears had washed his face. He had me in his arms, his only hand on my alabaster hair.

I didn't feel joy at the moment. I couldn't feel nothing but incredulity. It felt like years since I was here. It was so strange; I had most memory of that roller-coaster of damnation, yet I'm no longer there—I'm no longer suffering.

I took a deep breath, trying my best to grow accustomed to actual reality.

As I tried to get off the bed, I had no way of doing it without alarming Rudeus. The moment I escaped his grasp, he tasted his saliva, and yawned. He then... scratched his crotch?

Anyway, after finishing that business he stretched his arms, and upon noticing my absence he looked around the room, finding me on the other side of the bed. He flashed me an earnest smile, half-awake.

"Morning."

"Morning…"

"Y'know, I was about to ask you; were you… having a bad dream last night?"

"A bad dream?"

"Yeah. The moment…" He suspiciously looked away, making the usual face that screamed lies, "I went to the bathroom and, when I got back, you were crying an awful lot and muttering my name."

"— —"

A part of me was guilty of admitting it. After all, it was the same as abandoning myself to the fear, disregarding all the trust I promised to give him.

But, now—more than ever: I have to be truthful, for this is the solstice of this forsaken mystery; as lies and misconceptions will be revealed and judged by our own family.

"I…" I sat back on the bed, fixing my gown as I sat. "I dreamed of you leaving us."

"— —" His eyes widened a slight bit, and his jaw tightened.

"I-I… I was very scared, and it felt like a long, long dream. But then, you showed up just a moment before I woke up."

He still retained a stiff awkwardness, but gave me a slight giggle in return.

"I guess I'm reliable even in your dreams."

"But you left us."

"That's just a little detail…"

"If you say so." Despite the cheeky response, I still laughed softly at his attempt at lightening the mood.

Now, I think there's no longer any fear between us. All the guilt, and sadness, and anxiety from yesterday has left his demeanor, meaning that it was safe to assume he was ready to face us.

Rumbling crept in the walls. It was early, very early: the sun had still to set up the hills. Usually, it'd take another hour or so before I had to attend my duty of a royal attendant, or for Rudy to start training; but surely at this hour, Aisha and Lilia must be already mopping around the house. They took their job very seriously.

But I can see why, anyway. Lilia had promised Paul to take care of our family, and Aisha is all for being the perfect maid for Rudy. I'll always think she's wasted to keep inside the house, but as the saying goes: one's life is one's decisions. If Aisha is happy, then I have no qualms to decide for her.

Life is precious… better let everyone live it as they please.

He put his hand on my shoulder, taking my attention.

"Sylphie... thank you for trusting me."

"— —"

"I'm so lucky to have someone like you at my side."

His smile; it took my breath away. My mind blanked, and I couldn't meet his eyes. Unconsciously, I answered.

"I-I… you're welcome."

I was blushing. Like , powerfully so. I felt like a fuming volcano.

And that response.

You're welcome!? What's that even supposed to mean?! It sounded like I completely shrugged his feelings… as if I took his trust for granted.

How awful can I possibly be?

He looked at me in amusement. I can feel that stare of his from a city away.

In a smooth movement, he tilted my chin upward with his index.

His face was very close, enough to feel his breath brushing under my nose.

"And this side of you, it's priceless."

"A-Ah… thank y—mmph!"

He sealed my words with his lips. His tongue slithered beyond my teeth, and met mine.

He completely dominated me. I had no way to escape. I was, at last, the mouse under the maw of a fox.

He loosened my gown, and ran his hand on my legs.

Despite my rising fever of pleasure, I still retained enough clarity to pry him into stopping.

"W-Wait… we have to—"

"There's time for all of that… let's enjoy the moment, shall we?"

"W-Wait—!"

Yet, my meekness had the best on me for this one. You won me, Rudeus… like always.

"Oh, no… I can't do it—I can't do it."

Rudeus took his sweet time in bed, yet that didn't help him. He's still painstaking over what's about to come for the end of the day; a club reading of his beloved diary from the future.

Obviously, I didn't share his anxiety. I was instead curious. Very much so. If I could time-travel like his future self did, I'd skip all evening and the painful chats between Perugius and Ariel.

Well, such prowess is beyond my greatest efforts… I know that for sure. You can't become Rudeus. I haven't seen much of his power, yet what Roxy told me was enough of a proof.

A powerful magician that can even defeat swordsmen. Yet he's still afraid of our reaction for a measly diary that has nothing to do with who he is now…

It makes me giggle, honestly. For such an incredible warrior, daily life was just as hard. It makes me think—that despite myths and fables, tales hide that those great figures are human too.

That philosophy grew as I listened to Perugius in his reminiscence of King Gaunis. Truly, who would imagine that a legend like him was a perverted drunkurd?

"C-Can't we, y'know, do this t—"

"No, Rudy."

I have lost count of the many times he asked this question. I can now predict it before he even utters half of his phrase.

We had just got back home. Both. I met him at Elinalise's home, speaking with her and Cliff. I asked him about it, and he told me he had invited them to the diary reading. He had invited Zanoba and Nanahoshi, too.

For him to go for all that trouble and then cower away…

Best to leave him sort his thoughts.

"I'll go help Lilia and Aisha cooking. Take care of the guests, in the meantime."

" Gah... I think I triggered a hidden stage as an underleveled newbie..."

"…Sure."

I didn't understand a word of it. Rudeus is really a weirdo… but, I love this part of him, too.

That dream taught me; it's better to cherish every moment, as it could be the last of its kind.

"Oh, what a pleasure to be your guest, teacher!"

"I greet you, Grand Master."

The booming of Zanoba's voice was very audible, enough to reach the kitchen. I gestured to Aisha to finish what I was doing. I quickly washed my hands and took off my apron. Fixing my clothes, I made my way to the entrance.

Siding with Zanoba was Julie, a hint of happiness conceiled in her maidesque demeanor.

"Has the Zaliff Prosthetic been troubling you in any way?"

"Not really. But it's a pity I can't feel nothing with it. It would be nice to grab Sylphie's tits like old time's sake…"

Ugh…

As I grumbled inside my head, the door suddenly sprung open. At the entrance stood grandma Elinalise, with Cliff at her side.

"Rudeus! Is this any way to talk about my grandchild?!"

"Kuh—w-well… hi Elinalise, welcome. You too, Cliff."

"Mhph. This invitation was rather sudden. I hope your urgency isn't a simple waste of our time."

With the surprise of no one, Cliff has a sharp tongue. Usually, I'd let him act as he pleases, since he's normally a guest, and a friend of Rudeus. But this time, it's important. I don't know ho his presence may involve with that diary, but I have to leave things in Rudeus' hands.

"Cliff. I assure you; this is a matter of true importance."

"——"

Cliff locked his gaze onto my face, discerning any sign of lies. After a while, he gave up. Crossing his arms, he closed his eyes, and huffed.

"I see. If you excuse us, I'll accommodate my wife in the living room."

"Feel free to do so."

With careful steps, Cliff helped Elinalise through the entrance. Why would he do that, though?

—If she's pregnant, I guess. Just like that diary said.

This is it, I think.

If I had any lingering doubts, they are now cleared.

What lies between those pages is a future once broken, but a possible future nontheless. Like the awful dream of the night prior.

"Sylphie."

"Hm? Yes, Rudy?"

"Are you ready?"

I looked around; Rudeus had just helped Nanahoshi to the living room. Norn was bickering with Aisha. Elinalise was fiddling with her long hair. Zanoba was chatting with Cliff. Lilia was diligently preparing the table. Roxy was toying around with Dillo… with a perplexed face. Suspicious.

Anyway. Any one that had to arrive, arrived.

What is left is to begin—what would be a long, long evening.

"I'm ready." I said, solemnly.

Rudeus nodded nervously. With hesitant steps, he picked the diary from a shelf. He took a deep breath, mentally preparing himself.

Whatever is written in there had no reason to wait any longer.

He coughed on his fist, gaining the attention of everyone.

"Thank you all for making time to my request."

He grasped the diary over his shoulders, for everyone to see.

"This is the matter I called you all for."

"A book?" said Norn, which looked at the diary in confusion.

"Not a simple book… it's a diary—my diary. My diary—from the future."

Bonus: Threats And Tears

RUDEUS

An infinite sky of bright white. The perfect antithesis of my past life—secluded between six walls of utter darkness. This place, I know it… it's you, again.

"Well, I have to say. You pulled a very nasty trick, didn't you? Just when things were about to come together, you had to ruin all, like a thoughtless jerk."

Well, you're not even trying today, I guess. Still butthurt from the sudden development? I'd be too, if I were you. At last, my future self paid you with the same medicine. Good for him.

"Yeah yeah, I get it. I lost. But for now. Did you really think I'd give up this easily?"

Well, I mean, wasn't the whole point ruining my life? Since you failed, I think you don't have anymore chance to fire the bullet.

"…Hmm. I guess I didn't give much detail from the future. Better this way. I still have my trump cards for later."

What? What are you on about?

"You idiot, you though I was all about having fun when I was destroying your family? Well, it's fun, but you completely missed the point. I might as well explain it to you."

Go on. Honestly, it doesn't add up very much, since you could've simply never gave me any advice and left me to die in the Demon Continent.

"If it was that simple, I woul've done so. The reason I was aiming to kill all you cherished was something quite different; not for pleasure, but for survival. In the future, your descendants, aided by the Dragon God Orsted, will aim for my head. I'll die, brutally… and I don't want to die. You see the pattern?"

Y'know, you could've just asked. I'll throughly teach my children and all that come after the motto "don't mess with the Man-God (and the stupid Dragon God Orsted, he stinks)" and everything is solved!

"Things don't work that way. Hmm, how should I explain… I can see to some extend the future of someone. I see all possible outcomes, and I decide what's best for me by manipulating people, just like I did with you. But there's this thing—called destiny. Depending on how strong it is, it proves difficult to manipulate someone's future. You and your family have a particularly strong one. That's why it was impossible to kill you; the world naturally makes it so you wouldn't die. Just like how, despite dying to Orsted, you still survived. It's the same thing with you descendants. Their existence is only meant for my end."

I see. Just like the Principle of Causality, you can't change something that the world itself wants... but that doesn't explain why you'd still go for my family. If you can't kill them, why even bother? It's not a grudge about a past rejection from one of my wives, right?

"Keep those stupid jokes to yourself, I'm still angry at you."

Sure thing.

"There's a certain moment when someone's destiny gets weaker. It only happens to women, making them more bare to my sight."

Huh? Wait, you can't possibly mean…

"Exacly. When they hold a child in their womb."

… Okay. Okay. Gotta hold it in, gotta hold it… you'd really do something so awful? Don't you know any shame? Didn't your parents teach you anything?

"Better be you than me. Life is all about that, isn't it?"

I mean, a bit of charity might help in the future…

"Look at you, despite all I did to help you spreading your dirty genes, here are your descendants turning me into smitheerens. Talk about biting back at the benefactor."

Gotta say, it's a soundful argument. I'm not really a fan of your ways, but the motives are on point. Yet inexcusable, that's for sure. And to be honest, I don't care about all that happened in that diary.

"You didn't care enough to not let Sylphiette read it… I see, I see. Still have to uphold your stupid pride. Afraid of them to see how much of a pitiful moron you will be?"

Grrr…

Wait, wait. Calm down. He's just trying to get under your skin. Just calm down.

"Yeah, sure. That's all I want. I just want you to come at me barking since you ruined all my plans."

A bit prickly, aren't you? You're not satisfied of having already succeeded once?

"Wow, still on about that piece of work? That's just the past—or the future, in this case. It didn't happen, don't make it your whole argument."

… Yeah, you made me suffer a whole lot, but that was all on my future self. You helped me get out of some tricky situations, too. I'm not an ungrateful bastard. My future self told me to suck it up to you anyway, since I'm not really able to go for your neck. All I want is for my family to age together without any problem, and just deal with everyday problems instead of an endless stream of dangers around the corner.

"Well, if you aren't caring."

Exactly. I'll repay all my debts by simply staying away from you. I'll leave you alone, and I'll teach that throughly to all that come after, no excuse. I only want you to leave us alone.

"I'm afraid that's impossible. As long as you and Orsted both exist, I'd have to fear for my life."

Fine then. Use me for whatever you want. Even if it's risky, I'm willing to bet my skin. But I won't throw myself from the eighth floor.

"Hmm… there's something I'd happy with."

I'm all ears.

"Go kill Orsted for me."

W-What? I just told you I won't throw myself from the eight floor, but you ask me to fall from the twentieth!?!

"Fine then. Who's first, you decide: Lilia, or Aisha?"

Piece of... alright, I'll look for Orsted.

"Oh, I want you to do another something, too. Do everything alone. I want you to disappear by tomorrow. Bring with you Zanoba, or Cliff, if not both, but no one else. Tell them that they have to repay their debts to you and they'll follow you immediately."

Isn't this kinda… anticlimactic? No farewell party to my death parade?

"What, you want to reveal the context of that diary?"

Ugh, fair point… and clearly speaking, Zanoba and Cliff would only get in the way if we fought against—wait, do you perhaps…

"Thankfully, you catch on quickly. Use them to build the armor described in that diary. I will help you perfect it."

…So, once again, I have to leave myself to your hands. But, promise me this; you won't harm my family, even if I fail to slay Orsted. That's the whole point of me doing this, remember?

"Sure, sure. I won't even guide a stone under their feet. Pinky promise. Now, chop chop; my patience is ticking."

I wook up. Sylphie was sleeping near me. She was trembling.

I got up, not giving much thought to her.

What I have to do is for her sake, and that only.

"I really don't want to do it, trust me…"

I changed my clothes. I went to the basement and took my old backpack, the one I used when I was an adventurer. It smells terribly, but it has a nostalgic feeling to it.

"Well, I guess this is my last adventure…"

I know that doing this is basically suicide. I remember clearly how overwhelming Orsted was. If I was as strong as my future self described himself as, I wouldn't be so afraid…

Yet, I decided to do it not for my own skin, but for everyone else's. If my death may prove useful to their survival, than I'm all for it. After all, I'm not worth a damn compared to even a single one of them.

I'll miss Roxy and Sylphie, and I won't be able to reconcile with Eris, but that's a pity.

"I really don't want to do it…"

After letting out my sorrows, I heard a soft brushing near the wall. Maybe, it's another rat carrying the desease that will kill Roxy. What if the Man-God led me here once again to let it loose? Better take of it before it's too late.

I chanted a Frost Nova, ready to turn anything I saw move into a solid statue. I calmly walked to the door, trying my best to not alarm whatever is behind the door. As I was about to fire the spell, something suddenly jumped from the door frame.

"W-Wait! It's me, Rudeus!"

"Waahhhh!?"

I'd give this jumpscare an 8 out of 10. It bamboozled me hard enough that I instantly fired the spell, but they easily dodged it. They simply retreated from the door, letting the ice paint the wall.

"R-Roxy? What are you doing here?!"

It was Roxy. She must've heard me going around the house and spied me to see what I was up to.

She sure was sneaky with it. Did they teach some ninja stuff at her homeland? Petite bodies don't make much noise, I see.

I shouldn't point that out…

Roxy has a bit of a complex over her size. This isn't time for that, anyway.

"I… I know. Don't play dumb. You don't want us to read that diary, don't you? I overheard when you were arguing with Sylphie."

"——"

"Is it so important that you have to leave us all, out of the blue? Is it more important than us?"

"…You wouldn't understand."

This has nothing more to do with the diary—is what I'd like to say, but betraying my word with the Man-God is the same as killing them.

I'm in deep shit. On one side, I die, on another they die.

Kind of reminds me of that little question I saw on the net, the "trolley problem."

An unstoppable train is derailing from the distance; a lever changes its course between two tracks: one where only a person is tied, and one where multiple people are.

—I guess it has to be me, huh?

A moment of silence rested in the air, as Roxy deeply glared into my eyes. I didn't shift my gaze, not once. By giving up, I'd let myself fall in their confort, and I know I won't be able to go for Orsted anymore.

"You don't trust me, do you?"

She suddenly broke the silence powerfully, both in voice and words. I couldn't control my nervousness. It's hard to answer this kind of questions when you're cornered. What should I do, lie? Or truthfully bare my intentions to her?

Well, I don't have much choice.

I'm only in this for their safety. I won't lie out of volution, I swear.

Yeah, who I'm fooling anyway.

"Haha, it's nothing regarding that. There's an important matter that I have to take care of. It's urgent. I will be away for some time."

"——"

"Trust me."

Man, I'm really disgusted with myself sometimes.

I know that I have to do it, but a part of me can't simply forgive this type of behavior. Yeah, it's for the greater good, but what a shitty way to go for it.

Roxy huffed, a contorted expression of hopelessness watching over me. She must've read my intentions like an open book.

That's Roxy for you.

"…Fine. I'll trust you. But promise me this: you'll be back."

"I'll… try."

"I know this is something regarding our safety."

"——"

"Don't die on us, please."

I clenched my fists. I felt helpless. I knew that I was going to die, but if I stopped they would die.

So unfair…

Stupidly unfair.

"How unfair of you, Roxy."

I couldn't hold my smile of self-deprecation from escaping on my face. I went to hug Roxy, which readily welcomed me in her arms.

"I'll be back."

"…You promise?"

"I promise."

Damn, I feel like puking.

Roxy gently brought me into a kiss. It felt warm, yet fresh. Soft, and tender. Welcoming, and accommodating.

This is, maybe, the last time I kiss such perfect lips.

Scratch that, I want to cry.

I guess my second go at life is nearing its end. It was fun, at the very least.

I took the essentials from the house and some pocket money. Now, I have to get Aqua Hertia, which is in my room. I don't need it anymore, but it may sell for a bit if I needed more money. I'd guess the armor is going to take a lot of working. I could ask for Zanoba and Cliff if I really have to.

It's getting late. Roxy is helping me pack things. I feel a sting of pain every time I act as if I'm doing no big deal, yet… I'm going to die.

Just thinking about his scary mug is making my knees shiver…

I better go take Aqua Hertia.

I opened the door to my room. Sylphie was breathing strangely, as if in anxious. I don't have time to comfort her, despite my true intentions.

I went for Aqua Hertia and wrapped a piece of cloth around the magical stone. I took it in my grasp.

"Rudy…"

"W-Wha… Sylphie?"

"Rudy, where are you?"

"——"

As Sylphie suddenly spook my name, I jolted in her direction. I got scared, thinking she got me—but she's sleep talking, thankfully.

Thankfully? How lowly can I sink?

I have to go, I have to get out of the room…

"Rudy, don't leave me…"

I can't walk. Tears flowed out of my eyes.

—Who I'm fooling anyway. I had been crying the whole time I was in this room. Simply hearing Sylphie utter so helplessly my name was a constant stab to my heart.

I can't to this. I can't leave her.

I can't harm her, like the world harmed me in my past life.

Fuck the Man-God. If he wants me to do something, better be with my ways. And my ways revolve doing things with everyone, with honestly.

I took off my backpack and put Aqua Hertia away. Taking my robe off, I laid on the bed. I wrapped my arms around her petite figure. As I wiped her tears, I wiped mine too.

"Don't worry, I'm not going anywhere."

Sup. Been a while, huh?

Sorry for the long wind-up. I had a lot going on, and breeding this chapter took a lot out of me. Though next stuff is exciting. I'll try to cook something good for y'all.

Little bit of news, I'll forever be updating on Sundays. I'll just let ya know so you don't wait uselessly.

Anyway, good luck for NNN... you'll need it.