Chapter 2: The Girl in the bar.
"I would like that. Cheers to that. To no longer be lost and broken." Olivia and Alex clink mugs and smile.
OLIVIA POV:
Even just sitting here in silence, I just feel different. I feel a flicker of light at the end of the tunnel. I don't want to walk down this hallway to whatever this is but I'm scared. I've known this darkness and this loneliness for so long that I'm not sure I can take anymore so I find myself in this dilemma of wanting to know what this friendship will bring me but paralyzed in fear of the potential damage it could do to me.
I stare out the windows of the precinct trying to make this potentially scary decision. She is right, I don't want to be broken and I don't want to be alone but I'm so scared to be hurt. I know that I should be making changes to better my life and maybe she can offer me that but in my history people usually let me down.
"Are you okay?" Alex's voice breaks through my thoughts.
"Yeah, I am just in my head." I respond shyly.
"Talk to me Liv. Please?" She smiles.
"I'm okay Alex, I just am wrapping my head around everything. I don't want this to ruin our friendship." I look away towards the window again.
"It won't. I won't let it. I'm scared, it's okay to say you're scared. You can be honest with me."
I sigh. "I know I'm just not used to feeling this way because everything that scares I can face head on. I can run into a dangerous situation and handle it the way I know how. I don't know how to face this fear because this is a jump in head first."
"I know Liv, I know. I'm here though and I know you. I know when you need to run and I know when you need someone to make sure you are alright. I know you. And I know that you know me. You know me like no one here does."
"I know. I don't know why this scares me because it's you, but then again it is you. You are my rock. When the day has been long and hard, I find you or you find me and I'm scared that the more you see the more I find myself alone."
"I'm not going anywhere. I'm scared of the same thing. Because when we have a hard day at work I find you or you find me like you said. When the day is hard not due to work and you see what kind of things are the reason we sit here together at night then I'm scared you will leave too."
"I won't because I know you. I know the light you bring to everyone including me. I know that even when you are having a bad day you can make everyone in the room smile. I'm right here."
"Okay. We should get some sleep. I'll bring coffee in the morning." Alex deters.
"Okay, I would like that. See you in the morning Alex."
"Goodnight Liv." She says and she's gone.
I stand up and walk over the huge windows in the bullpen. As I lean on the edge and look out onto the city, I know I should sleep but I'm not quite ready to go home. After a little bit I decided to grab a beer. I grabbed my coat from the rack and headed out the building. I walk to Quinn's Pub, I walk in and the bartender sets my bar on the coaster.
I watch the news and sip my beer. I notice a group of women walk in and they all grab a booth near the pool table. One of them came up to order their drinks. She leans over and smiles, "hey we are gonna play I could use a partner mind shooting with me?"
"Sure." I smile and take a big gulp of my beer.
I stand up and help her bring the drinks over to the table.
"Hey so this is.." She looks towards me.
"Olivia, nice to meet all of you." I nodded towards the table.
"She's gonna be on our team for pool."
"We're playing pool?" I raised an inquisitive brow towards the kind woman.
"Yes we are. Olivia, I am Jocelyn, this is Paula and Cassidy. Nice to meet you. Shall we?" She gestures towards the pool table.
"Hey." Paula said.
"Hi." Cassidy also replies.
They all get up and we walk towards the table. As we play I see Jocelyn looking at me from across the table and I'm starting to get the vibe that she likes women because I do too but I also look like I like women. The badge and gun usually give away to everyone that I like women but mostly it's because I am in a man's line of work but I know plenty of straight cops who also have a badge and a gun. It's a blessing and a curse. I know I definitely wouldn't have as much game if I was just a regular looking woman who also hits on women.
"Have a lot on your mind?" Suddenly a voice breaks from my thoughts and I see Jocelyn standing in front of me with her pool stick.
I step back to allow her to shoot, "Tough job, long day. What about you? How are you doing today?"
"Not bad, not such a tough job but a long day as well. Recently found out my fiance has been cheating on me and she doesn't know I know. She is still out of town."
"I'm sorry. Are you doing okay?"
"I'm doing as good a job as anyone, kinda sad, kinda want to let loose and make some bad decisions, and kinda want to fight her."
"So are these bad decisions one you shouldn't be talking about with a cop?"
She leans closer to me, "These are the bad decisions that involve me very naked with another very naked beautiful woman." Her hand brushes my elbow.
"I can help with that notion. And I know you want to fight her but we can wrestle if you want. I know something about the tongue being the strongest muscle in the body." I wink and lean forward to take my next shot.