The Journal of Renault, Bishop of Valor

Chapter 14

JESUS LIVING CHRIST, HOW LONG HAS IT BEEN? *checks calendar* OVER A YEAR?

Yes, clearly I have been slacking on this series, but there are several reasons why. Lack of motivation, lack of free time, just to name a few. However, with the last few months of 2023 slowly coming around, I want to make some sort of effort to get back into the writing mood.

So what better place to start than by resuming my Journal of Renault series? I'm sure most of you have waited for this moment for a while, so let's dive back into the story!

Edina.

It was a breath of fresh air. Well, sea air for the most part. But it was a welcoming smell nonetheless. For the first time in what felt like eons, I felt like I was in a place of tranquility, calmness. But unfortunately, I knew that I would not be here for long. And neither would Canas.

"This is as far as I take you, priest," Canas said calmly over the noise of bustling civilians and seagulls screaming as they flew by. "I must take the next boat to Aquelia as soon as possible, if I want to return to Port Badon quickly."

"Why the rush?" I asked curiously.

"A shaman's studies never ends, and I've got something I'm working on right now that must get done promptly. Forgive me, but I must leave soon."

I nodded. Despite the fact that I still hardly knew this boy, he seemed quite the gentleman. I had almost forgotten in my time with Nergal and my travels thus far of the civilized person. Their manners outweighed those of most of the people I've run into so far. I bid him farewell as I made my way to the pub, hoping to seek a caravan traveling through the Nabata Desert. Though it seemed nigh impossible that there would be one, I kept my hopes (or whatever was left of it) with me.

There was something about this town that seemed…different. Though the air was humid, the breeze from the sea was cool and calm. It was like a clash of nature. Yang and yin. The heat didn't bother me, neither did the gust of sea wind. It nearly put me in a trance, but I was able to snap out of the brief hypnosis as I began to enter the pub. The caw of seagulls and teasing breeze died down as I made my way through the door. The last time I had entered a place like this, a stranger almost attacked me, so it was wise for me to keep my guard up as I walked through. This didn't look anything like the pub back in Ostia. Instead of an infestation of drunkards, I found myself mixing along merchants, pirates, and, to my surprise, other men of the cloth. I took a seat at a small table, resting my staff against the wall. I looked out the window beside me and watched as big, strong men loaded crates onto large ships, while guards walked up and down the docks.

"Can I get you anything, Your Excellency?"

I turned my head in the direction of the voice. I found myself frozen as I locked eyes with the source, as if by some spell. Standing before me was what I thought to be the most beautiful woman I had ever laid eyes on. Bright, golden eyes matched with long, golden hair and a smile so bright that it made the sun look like nothing more than a lit match. She was dressed in the garb of a tavern wench, but she didn't look at all like one, or rather the ones I had seen before. It was like staring directly at an angel, and in that moment I silently prayed to Saint Elimine for blessing me with such a wondrous sight. Soon her smile faded as she began to look puzzled.

"Sir?" she asked again.

I snapped back into reality. "I…forgive me, I was…well, I'm…" What's going on with me, I thought. Had I lost the ability to speak coherent sentences so suddenly? I had to regain control of myself, of my nerves. "Forgive me, my dear. I'm looking for a caravan to travel with. One that's going through the Nabata Desert."

"I'm afraid not many caravans are willing to travel through the Desert nowadays," she replied with a frown. "Where is it that you're heading to?"

"Arcadia."

There was a pause as her eyes widened in shock and surprise. Was it something I had said, I pondered.

"The City of Dragons?" she whispered. "I've always wanted to go there."

"My venture is not one for recreation, I'm afraid."

"Oh, are you on a pilgrimage?"

"You…could say that."

Her eyes beamed with delight and her smile shone bright once more. Gods above, I thought, bless you for this merry gift in my time of need. The lady pointed me in the direction of a group of priests sitting close by, and I kindly excused myself, but not before wishing my blessings upon her and thanking her for her kindness. I could hear her giggle as I walked towards the group of priests, my heart skipping a beat just hearing that. I shook my head, trying to regain my train of thought as I sat down next to them.

As fate would have it, these men were not any ordinary priests. They were disciples from Arcadia themselves, wandering from village to village spreading their faith and wisdom upon mortal folk. They were just returning from a long pilgrimage when they came across me, and had agreed to help me find my way to Arcadia. We had agreed to leave early the next morning, and I was told that the journey would take a few days. I checked my bag for supplies. It felt needless to do so, as I knew that I would probably not survive the harsh conditions of the Nabata Desert, prayer or no prayer. Regardless, I still prayed to Saint Elimine. I prayed for my continued safety in the hands of the clergymen I was traveling with. I prayed that She would see the dangers that lie ahead, and grant me protection from them. But most importantly, I prayed that I would be able to see Archsage Athos and gain resolve to the questions on my mind. As I began to stand, I heard the doorknob behind me twist and click. Acting quick, I grabbed my staff and prepared to counter whatever was going to come through that door. Was it more of the Black Fang? Or have the guards from Eburacum finally caught up with me? Or the Baron's men? Or perhaps…

But as the door slowly opened ajar, I exhaled and let down my guard. For it wasn't an assassin, nor was it one of the Baron's corrupt henchmen, or some other adversary.

It was that woman. The tavern wench that beguiled me so. Was I…dreaming? Or hallucinating? Was this another one of Nergal's wicked spells?

"Forgive me, Your Excellency," she spoke softly. "I heard you were leaving soon and-"

"You came to say goodbye?" I was surprised, yet perplexed. Her cheeks became flushed with embarrassment.

"Yes…I don't know if I'll ever see you again, so I came to find you to tell you…ever since I laid eyes on you I haven't been able to put you out of my mind. I know we had only just met, and I know a commoner like myself falling in love with a priest like you must be forbidden in your clergy, but I…I wanted to see you again, badly."

I tried to remain calm, but my heart began to race vigorously. That very same woman that caught my eye, who wooed me with her hypnotic gaze, was now confessing her feelings to me. Surely I had to be dreaming. I was waiting for myself to suddenly fly awake, heart still beating aggressively, drenched in a cold sweat. But I kept my composure, swallowed, and breathed. "I…feel the same way. We may have just met, but I feel like I'm being pulled towards you. My mind has been filled with nothing but thoughts of your face, your eyes, your smile." I paused. "But I'm not the type of man you should seek. Though you are a fair lady, I am not deserving of such beauty. I have sinned dreadfully in my life, I have seen things that haunt me to this day, and it is because of that that I cannot bring myself to love, to hold one so dearly. I carry too many burdens to give."

Before I could continue, I felt her warm hands touch mine, grasping and feeling them softly. It was a tender warmth, like light from the sun or the warmth of eating a well-prepared meal. Her being was the epitome of warmth, as if she herself were a goddess in disguise. "Then let me bear your burdens with you," she whispered to me, her eyes glowing radiantly as she looked at me dead in the eyes. I couldn't speak. I couldn't move. All I could do was stare at her, lost in the labyrinth that was her sacred beauty. Then, without hesitation, she drew my face close to hers, and gently pressed her lips against mine. This felt wrong. Unholy. Profane. This overwhelming sense of lust…it was forbidden for a priest like myself. Though my eyes grew heavy and what remained of my soul grew warm, every fiber of my being wanted to pull away, to escape. To punish this woman for such an immoral act as to seduce me like this.

But I didn't.

I leaned into the kiss, felt myself getting lost in it. My mind told me to stay my hand, but my heart and being wanted this. Me, who had been deprived of love, of sanity, for so long, to finally feel the warm touch of another. Why should I give it up? At that moment, I thought not about my goddess, or my religion.

I thought of her. And I embraced her. I listened to her soft sighs and moans as we kissed.

And then we pulled away, and I was suddenly broken from the spell.

"My apologies, I really must go," I stammered as I hastily grabbed my things, taking one last look at her before heading for the door.

"Wait, Your Excellency!" she called. "I must know…what is your name?"

I paused to turn back, her bright aura still shining even though she was across the room. "Renault," I replied.

"Renault…I bid you luck on your journey. Remember me, always."

I said nothing in return. After all, it wasn't likely that I was going to forget her or our kiss anytime soon. I simply nodded and left the pub, thinking of what I had done and the consequences it could hold in the future as I followed the other priests on the trail to Arcadia.

Forgive me Saint Elimine, I thought, for I have tarnished your name through my own sins.

That's a wrap on Chapter 14! I'm hoping to get back into writing more often, so please do be patient with me! Hope you've enjoyed the story thus far!