The next day was a Sunday. The third Sunday of the month, actually, which meant Peter could let himself wake up slowly, blissfully…

There were only a couple days of each month he took off from patrolling: those days he was too grievously injured to crawl out of bed, and the days he actually scheduled off. Third Sundays were always scheduled off, which meant whoever was filling in for him, Defender or Avenger or superbro, could handle crime for a day.

And, for the first time in forever, his day off was actually free. He didn't need to meet classmates to work on a group project, there weren't any world-ending threats to run off and fight (knock on wood), and, since he made enough money last night, he didn't need to drop off footage or photographs to the Bugle. Which meant he'd avoided a verbal beatdown from Mr. Bugle himself.

He could nap all day, or go shopping and get the expensive snacks he could never afford, or start working on a new suit design, or-

BangBangBang.

Peace was never an option.

"Parker!"

Peter mournfully sat up from his bed, watching as his beautiful day turned to dust in a blink of the eye.

It was the third day in a row that he was graced with his landlord's presence - bad things really do come in threes - so Peter reluctantly grabbed his wallet and slunk to the door.

"Finally!" The twenty was snatched from his hand. "I got three calls last night! Do you wanna know why?" Peter's nose scrunched up at his sour breath. "Apparently someone was having a one-sided screaming match at two in the morning." Spittle flew and Peter took a step back. "What was it, huh? You on a bad trip?"

A noise complaint… Because he was yelling in the early hours of the morning…

He probably should've expected that.

On the bright side, though, he lives in the shitty part of Queens. Not that it sounds like a bright side, but… Living in a nicer neighborhood would've definitely resulted in having the cops called on him.

"It's not that, sir, I was-" well, he couldn't actually say he was getting paid to scream at perverts online "- I was playing a multiplayer game and, um, I'm really bad at it?"

"Oh? 'Cause that sounded real convincing." The older man snorted and crowded further into Peter's space. "This is your second strike, Parker. So please, give me one more reason. Don't think I haven't noticed all your suspicious behavior. Or the bags under your eyes. Or the fact that you're always roughed up. Hell, if you weren't such a twig I'd assume you were part of a gang."

Peter stayed quiet, tongue bitten and desperately trying to control his breathing.

"Only redeeming quality is that you're working for that Jameson guy." Because of course this jackass follows the Daily Bugle. "So, give me one more reason Parker, and I'll make sure the cops get a tip about whatever shady business you're a part of." His landlord started to back off, then paused. "And make sure you pay me the correct amount the first time."

With a tight jaw, Peter gave a quick nod and started closing the door. "Of course, sir. I won't cause any more problems," Peter said, but what he meant was 'Please oh please just let me go, sir. If I have to continue this conversation I might throw up. Or throw fists. Or both. Simultaneously.' "Have a good rest of your day."

When the door closed with a quiet 'shick,' Peter slumped against the wall. He's the spider in the corner, and god is the scared white woman with a hairspray flamethrower. God, why? Why can't he ever just have a day to relax? Why did he have to jinx it?

Peter took in a deep breath, holding it for a count of six, then let it out. He should've known it wouldn't be that easy; it's never that easy.

A minute passed before the rage calmed and Peter pushed off the door.

It's time he moved out of this dump.

Peter spent most of his afternoon planning, mainly because he couldn't afford to be a desperate, impulsive dumbass all the time. Strangely enough, he wanted to take the whole cam boy thing seriously. It was just supposed to be a stupid one-off experience where he embarrassed himself so badly he never wanted to speak about it again, but it hadn't gone that way. Instead he wanted to do it again, and do it seriously this time. After doing some research, he learned just how lucky he'd gotten the first time he went live. And wasn't that hilarious: Peter Parker, lucky? More likely than you'd think.

For most people (though his research was mainly on gaming livestreams and not cam shows) it was common to only get a few viewers clicking on their streams and rare to actually receive donations. Peter was fortunate that his first show was such a success, and only because he stumbled onto a whole kink he didn't know existed. He didn't go in with a game plan other than wearing his suit, possibly flexing muscles or doing the splits.

Usually Peter prepares better befo- well no, that's a fucking lie.

Usually Peter knows what he's doing. Both as a vigilante and a civilian.

If Spider-Man went out on patrol he would find trouble. It could be a supervillain, purse-snatcher or just a pissed off cat stuck in a tree. He knew how to react in these scenarios. He could crack jokes while deflecting attacks, and he could soothe a distressed child so he could find their parents. He can recite the cliché villain monologue before the criminal even opens their mouth. Hell, at this point he knows the starter move set of any back alley mugger, and can dodge and return their attacks with ease.

Spider-Man is confident and strong. Spider-Man is friendly and earnest. He's a symbol and a role model and needs to be perfect, because anything less would be a failure to the city he loves…

As Peter Parker, student, he has a set schedule for schoolwork planned meticulously in one color coded agenda. He keeps his head down, attends his lectures, and rushes home to finish homework.

As Peter Parker, photographer, he has another color coded agenda, but this one predicted Jameson's regularly scheduled breakdowns. He keeps his head down, endures a lecture (read: gets yelled at) by Jameson, and rushes out to take pictures of Spider-Man or any other heroes he can find.

Peter Parker is shy and soft-spoken. Peter Parker doesn't start fights or finish them. He hides his body with baggy clothes and purposefully wears frames that are too small for his face and, therefore, shrinks into the background…

After a moment of quiet introspection, he realized two things.

Number one: for the past few years Peter's existed in a comfort bubble of consistency and experience. Nothing changes except whenever a new villain crops up or they start a new section in his textbook.

Number Two: Spider-Man and Peter Parker were both performances. Not to say that he wasn't actually Peter Parker, it's just… Peter didn't know how to drop the masks. He didn't know how to actually be himself around others. He only got glimpses when the stakes were low, when there wasn't a reputation to uphold and no hiding to do. No script to follow. Wade and May were probably the only two who got to see him for who he actually was. And, once upon a time, Gwen, MJ and Harry did too. But that was before… everything.

So maybe…

Maybe this was the opportunity he needed to find himself again. He could be cocky and sarcastic like Spider-Man without having lives on the line and he could show weakness and have anonymity like Peter Parker without having to fade into the wallpaper.

He glanced at the clock.

Blegh.

He'd been thinking entirely too long and that was simply disgusting. If he kept on this track he might realize he was actually benefiting from all this self-reflection. Then he'd have to call Claire, the designated medic and sufferer of all kinds of vigilante bullshit, and ask her to listen as he vented (again). Or, and his nose scrunched up at the thought, he'd start considering taking his problems to an actual therapist. Which, no thank you? He couldn't be a vigilante and have mental health. Impossible. Never before seen.

So instead Peter went back to planning.

He'd been in the middle of listing ideas for shows.

He figured that if he wanted to succeed, he needed to stand out. He couldn't just sit still and talk and hope that his personality or body would be enough. It might, and there was always the possibility that he could just start the stream and someone would be cool going along with whatever, but Peter got the feeling that if he wanted this to work, he needed to go into shows with some sort of plan. And, as far as he could tell, it proved possible to make money without showing more than he was comfortable with. In the future, if he ever wanted to, he could progress to that, but for now he was happy finding something else to do. So, he needed to stand out from others, preferably in ways that didn't involve getting naked. Which meant he needed to provide a service or a show no one else was. Or, at least, not as many were.

From the brief research and peek through the Camtoy trending page, it seemed like most role-players relied solely on their costumes to pull viewers in. They usually did fine with that, but they didn't make a whole bunch. The more popular streamers, like Hourglass and CaptainKodi, had props, scripts, scenarios and occasionally even sets they used to make their streams more entertaining.

And Peter could do the same.

'Idea One: Rooftop.' If he ever wanted to return to yelling he could always take his laptop to the roof and use his phone's hotspot. It'd be on theme, seeing as streets and rooftops were usually where Spider-Man was spotted. He might have to web the access door closed but at least he could yell without worrying about the volume. Hell, he didn't even have to do the whole yelling thing up there, he could do some flips or parkour or a workout or something. But… Peter looked out the window as snow flurried past the frame. Right now it was too cold to do. He'll just have to return to that idea when it gets warmer, if he's even streaming by then.

'Idea Two: ASMR (humiliation edition).' Peter wasn't really sure why he was drawn to this idea. At first he would've bet on the previous success of yelling at his viewers, but after a little bit of enlightening research he learned that humiliation kinks were a thing, and Peter… Peter didn't know how to feel about it. He had no desire to be humiliated, and generally didn't like to be rude to others. But without even realizing it, he'd just fallen into the role of the humiliator- is that even the correct word? Degrader? Bully? Either way, he'd been surprisingly good at it, and a good portion of the commenters seemed to enjoy it as well. He couldn't do it in tandem with yelling, at least not right now (so hopefully that wasn't the main draw), but he could study some examples and write a loose script for an ASMR style stream. Or just wing it, but honestly he'd feel a little more confident if he had something to go off of.

'Idea Three: Webs.' The most iconic thing about Spider-Man was probably his webs. And though he couldn't use his real webs while camming, he had a couple thoughts about what he could do instead. One of the many uses of his webs were to tie people up, so people might be interested in seeing him tied up instead. He's always wanted to try it out, too. Had a whole Pinterest board (do people even use Pinterest anymore?) full of designs to try whenever he had free time… Not that he ever had free time. But to practice and get some extra cash while doing it? Maybe he could invest in some ropes for a future show. And if there was an emergency, he could just rip through his bindings and run wherevers needed. Rip through them while not on camera, of course.

Thinking along the same vein gave another idea: aerial acrobatics. It wouldn't be the same as swinging through the city, but it was probably the closest he could get for a show. Peter's sure he could find the materials to set it up, too, but at the moment he didn't have anywhere near enough money to buy them. Didn't have the tall ceilings for it, either. When he got some more money he could take a few classes. He could also just find an abandoned warehouse to practice with his webs.

With a couple dollar signs scribbled next to his third option, he moved on.

'Idea Four: Yoga.' He could do this one right now, if he wanted to. Peter was flexible. Super flexible. Contortionist levels of flexibility. That was a sexy skill, and realistically it probably wouldn't have as much of a pull as some of the others, but it was also fairly low stress. He could pull up a yoga routine on his phone and follow along while talking to the chat. Talk about Spider-Man things - nothing that could reveal him, of course - and a heavily edited version of his civilian life.

That could work, couldn't it?

And since his day was already ruined…

Peter pulled his laptop to the ground and snagged the rug from the bathroom. It wasn't a perfect fit but he needed something to cushion the ground - and he'd just slip if he used a blanket. And if he slipped he'd probably just curl up into a ball and cry. Or his reflexes would save him and well, no need to explain why that could be a bad outcome.

With a few clicks of the mouse and a couple letters typed he had the website up and running. Without letting himself hesitate this time, he used one hand to pull up a yoga routine and the other to start the stream.

Someone joined immediately.

guest71490 joined the chat

"Hey friend, how's it going?" Peter asked from his place on the floor, moving back so he was fully in view. "I had a free day today, thought I'd do a little stream."

Peter waited for a reply, but nothing came. "Oooh. Right. Guests can't chat. I'll just have to do the talking for both of us." Peter started stretching his arms and twisting side to side. "Well, I guess I could start by telling you a bit about myself."

lil-mis-cake joined the chat

He bent his back foot up so it was touching his butt and held it. "So, uh, hi? I'm Bambi. This is my second time going live, I'm in college and right now I'm working as uhhhh…"

Shit shit shit! So much for preparing! There was no way Peter could tell them he's Spider-Man's photographer! Think Parker, think! "Uhhh," Peter laughed nervously, eyes darting around and landing on the mirrored image of his spider symbol. Maybe he could… "Well, I can't tell you that now, can I? I gotta protect my civilian identity and all that." Hopefully that wouldn't come off as too weird.

lil-mis-cake: r u 1 of the ppl who take that srsly?
lil-mis-cake: the roleply

Exhale. Crisis averted.

lil-mis-cake: is cool if u r
lil-mis-cake: spiderman is hot af
lil-mis-cake: id let him ride my face any day

He got back onto his feet, posture relaxed and face blank: seemingly unaffected by the words. They didn't know, though, that underneath the mask Peter was blushing bright as a tomato. Sure, there were people on Twitter who thirsted over him, but no-one had the gall to say it to his face.

So with an easygoing laugh (which sounded a lot more confident than he felt) Peter started playing the yoga routine and said: "Well, I don't think anyone could swing around New York daily without ending up ripped. That's a serious ab workout."

In actuality it was the spider bite. Baby fat one day, washboard abs the next. They didn't need to know that, though. Even if, after all these years of putting his body through the wringer, Peter felt like he'd at least earned his muscles and then some. The 'then some' never came, but he'd always been more built for agility and stealth anyways.

lil-mis-cake: nooo its not that
lil-mis-cake: well it is that
lil-mis-cake: got the whole damn bakery
lil-mis-cake: but out of all the superheroes hes kinda the most badass, yeah?
lil-mis-cake: out there evry nite fighting baddies wi/out fail
lil-mis-cake: really just trying his best

A grin made its way onto Peter's face and he followed the yoga lady as she sat down cross legged. "It's a big responsibility," Peter agreed, "why have powers and not use them for something good?

buzzy-slyr420 joined the chat
all-bout-mimi joined the chat
lil-mis-cake: nvr kills his villains, either
lil-mis-cake: even when som of them deserv it

Peter shook his head, "no one deserves that, and it's not my job as a vigilante to decide who lives or dies."

lil-mis-cake: wow ur really taking ur role seriously rnt u

Okay, maybe he was laying it on too thick. He's supposed to be pretending to not actually be Spider-Man, but instead a person who pretends to be Spider-Man… Hopefully he'll get full points for all the mental gymnastics he just did. "Spider-Man doesn't deserve that, either. Hurting people can really mess with your mental state."

lil-mis-cake: i guess
all-bout-mimi: Hey Bambi!

Peter waved at the new viewer. "Hey. What's up?"

all-bout-mimi: I dropped by your show yesterday.
all-bout-mimi: Will you be yelling again today?

"Nah. Got a noise complaint," Peter replied and changed positions. Now he was on his hands and knees, arching his back and moving his weight from arm to arm. "I'm doing yoga this time."

all-bout-mimi: Good!
buzzy-slyr420: oh damnn look at you ~move~ baby
all-bout-mimi: I didn't like all the aggressive stuff :(
buzzy-slyr420 donated $10
buzzy-slyr420: bendy little thing ;P
all-bout-mimi: But you're just so perfect I had to check in today.
all-bout-mimi: Angry doesn't suit you.

"Uhhh." Error. Error. The super-hero you're trying to reach is unavailable, try again later. "What do you mean by that?"

all-bout-mimi: Awww! You're so cute when flustered. 3 3 3

Peter sat up. The fuck? "I'm sorry?"

all-bout-mimi: You're so clearly a bottom.
all-bout-mimi: So it makes sense that you'd come to a site like this.
all-bout-mimi: Where others can order you around.
buzzy-slyr420: yikes :()

Yikes indeed.

"Buddy, I'm not sure why you think it's okay to treat others like that, but I assure you: I'm a multifaceted human being with thoughts and feelings, just like you."

all-bout-mimi: Aw, babes. :((( Don't delude yourself.
lil-mis-cake: m gonna report them
lil-mis-cake: if you want u can ban them from ur stream bambi

"Yeah." Peter sighed and paused his yoga video. "I will. Gimme a second." Leaning forward he clicked on the creep's username.

User 'all-bout-mimi' has been banned

"That was…" Irritating? Humiliating? "Uncomfortable."

lil-mis-cake: supr uncum4table.
buzzy-slyr420: that wasnt safe sane or consensual :/
hot-boy-smmr joined the chat

Peter nodded, "It's not like I'm even against trying that out, it just felt - I dunno - predatory?"

lil-mis-cake: yea
lil-mis-cake: there r ppl who seek out newr camrs just 2 bully them in2 shit
buzzy-slyr420 donated $20
buzzy-slyr420: for the trauma.

Peter laughed and shook his head. "I'll be fine, but thank you anyway. Is there anything you wanted to request?"

hot-boy-smmr: trauma :o
buzzy-slyr420: i mean if you're still up for it i'm still pretty interested in the yoga ;)
hot-boy-smmr: i just got here wtf happened?
buzzy-slyr420: -don't feel pressured or anything though-

Peter picked up his phone, checking the time. It wasn't too late in the afternoon. "I think I can go for a little longer."

It was one of the quickest missions Deadpool had been on for a while, since by Tuesday he was already back in the city and tackling Spider-Man in a hug, which Peter threw off to dive after their falling dinner.

Wade whined from his place on the concrete. "I swear, sometimes it feels like you're only using me for the food."

"No. I'm using you for your body," and Wade's mask morphed like it always did when Spider-Man said something particularly out of character. Ignoring that, and cursing his poor impulse control, Peter pulled open the bag and grabbed his first sandwich. "I offered to pay this time, but you said, and I quote: my 'spidery ass' can't even afford the 'good ramen' - how you know that, I've no idea - and that if I had to pay for your 'bottomless pit of a stomach' I'd 'go into debt faster than Amber Heard.'"

"You smell like a starving college student," Deadpool replied, whatever the fuck that meant, and Peter sat down next to him. "Besides I told you over text," Wade paused to make grabby hands at the takeout bag, which Peter reluctantly dropped into his lap. "I got some good news and that means we're celebrating."

"And that's why I offered to pay." No it wasn't, but Wade didn't need to know that. "What's this news, anyway?

"You're, like, the most impatient person I know," Wade took a bite of his sandwich, not waiting to swallow before he kept talking. "Not judging though, given that I'm the runner up, but you can't even let a man finish chewing?"

The hero shot him an incredulous look. "You took that bite after I -" Wade had a smug grin stretched across his face. "I think I might actually hate you."

"You were watchin' me baby? I'm flattered."

"No, I lied." Peter huffed, a flush crawling up his neck. "I actually do hate you, there was never any debate."

Wade repositioned himself so he was leaning against the wall, across from Peter, with a slight tilt to his head. "And yet you still spend time with me, like some sort of masochist."

"It's because you feed me."

"Aha! So you admit it!"

"I'm going to kill you."

"Let me know if you make any headway with that. I know soooo many people who'd pay good money to see me dead, and then you could afford all the chopped cheese you could ever eat."

They held eye contact for a second, serious and tense. Then Wade was cracking up and they were both breaking into laughter. Once they calmed down enough, they went back to eating and trying to avoid eye contact, lest they start giggling again.

"But seriously," Peter said as he swung back onto the roof, having just returned from trash duty. "What's the good news? I've been waiting for this since yesterday."

Wade patted the spot next across from him again, and Peter easily dropped back to sitting, legs crossed. "Well, SHIELD's let me off missions for a couple months. They said it was a reward for 'good behavior,' but I think it's probably because of the time I put Nair in IronDick's shampoo. Or when I 'accidentally' set off a glitter bomb in Fury's office. Or when I burned holes in HawkGuy's-"

"Really?"

"Uh," Wade paused. "Yeah? I mean, it was just the top layer over the nipples, like they did in Mean Girls. He thought it was-"

"I didn't mean it like that." Peter interrupted again. "I meant: you're really, actually, finally free to join me on patrols?" Peter asked, trying to keep the genuine excitement out of his voice.

Wade perked up. "If you'll have me."

"Please?" Peter whined (no) pleaded (no) asked. "You'll follow my rules though, right? I know SHIELD lets you use lethal force at your own discretion, but I don't want anyone to die on my watch."

"Yup yup. No one's dying on patrols." Wade agreed, but then tilted his head and amended. "Well, no one except me."

It was a constant point of contention between the two.

"Wade. When I say no deaths, I was hoping it would mean no deaths for you, either."

In lieu of arguing, Deadpool pulled Peter into a hug, and it's almost embarrassing how easily Peter melted into the warmth. It was a coward's move and they both knew it, because both of them know that Food plus Hug equals a Sleepy Spider-Man. Peter didn't fight it, though. Instead he let himself be soothed. Let Wade rock them side to side, listening as the merc hummed a quiet tune. Wade runs hot, like a space heater, and when paired with his impressive size he basically engulfs the younger man. Like a heated blanket that's also weighted and ginormous.

Generally that's the end of their conversation. Most times Wade will keep Peter until he's so sleepy he can't remember why he was mad or upset or stressed in the first place. Then Wade will gently nudge Peter awake and tell him to go home, because obviously Peter's tired and it won't be safe to keep patrolling.

This time, however, is different.

After a few moments, Wade took a deep breath and said: "You know it won't stick, right? Nothing keeps the old 'Pool down. I'm pretty sure I could be hit dead-on with a nuclear blast and walk it off in a day or two."

Peter let out a soft sigh. "It doesn't mean it won't hurt," he started, and quickly pressed a gloved finger onto Wade's opening mouth. "- And just because you have a high pain tolerance and can 'take it,' doesn't mean you should. You don't have to be a meat shield, Wade. You deserve better than that."

The swaying had paused and Peter felt strangely off without it, so he dropped his hand in the hopes Wade would continue talking.

"I'd die a thousand times if it meant you came out on the other side, Webs." Wade sighed then and pulled Peter tighter. "I'm sorry you don't want to see me hurt, but you only have one life. You shouldn't have to waste it to save someone who can't even die."

'I would die a thousand times' Wade had said, like its not a big fucking deal. It sounded like a promise, like a love confession, and it made Peter's heart do weird things inside his chest.

He knew he needed to say something, but for a few blissful minutes he just let himself forget the world and drift. Only after Peter had soaked up as much of Wade Wilson and his endless warmth as humanly possible, did Peter concede. It was quiet, barely a whisper, but he forced himself to reply.

"I know, logically, that you're right. I hope you know, too, just how much I appreciate it, but it's…" Peter took a steadying breath. "All those years ago I knew what I signed up for, and since then I've lost so many loved ones. I know you can't actually die, or at least not in a way that sticks, but I don't like seeing you in pain. You're important to me, Wade. Fuck, man, you're my best friend and I know you feel the same. So…" Peter dropped his head onto the merc's shoulder. "I can't ask you to keep dying for me, but… I know I can't stop you from protecting me, either."

"Well…" Wade murmurs, hot breath ghosting across Peter's ear. "You never had to ask, Spidey."