Chapter 2: Taped

"Joey! Why can't you tell me what this is all about?" Chandler whined, as he and Joey stumbled into their apartment.

"I've got to tape an audition, and I need a cameraman!" Joey explained. He circled the tripod now set up in the boys' living room.

"These guy don't want to see you in person?" Chandler frowned. "Seems like an inconvenience…."

"Nah. I just need to film this cold reading, and give the tape to Estelle. She'll forward it on." Joey turned one of the Barcaloungers towards the camera and took a seat, grinning.

"And what am I supposed to do?" Chandler rotated the camera. "I'm not a director!"

"You don't have to be. Just let me know what I'm doing wrong!"

Chandler stared at his roommate dubiously. "….. That's what a director does, Joe." When Joey stared back, the other man shrugged. "OK….. Take 1, I guess….?" He pressed the red button for RECORD.

Joey started in on this monologue he had been asked to prepare. "I love my wife more than anything in this world. And…. it kills me that I'll never be able to give her a baby….. I really want a kid…. and when the time comes, I'll learn how to be a good dad….. But my wife…. She's ….."

"CUT!" Chandler bawled, peeking out from behind the camera. "It – It looks fake! It has to sound real. Believable!" Truthfully, he didn't know much about acting, but he did know about Joey's acting, from attending enough of his plays: it was earnest, if not exactly the best reviewed.

"I am believable! What more should I do? Cry on command?" Joey sulked, hurt.

"…. Maybe you need a gimmick to make people notice you." Chandler cast his eyes about on the floor before coming up with an errant piece of underwear; he couldn't tell which of theirs it was, handing it over to his friend. "Wear this on your head."

Frowning dubiously, Joey did so, only to immediately shuck it off again before Chandler could call Action!

"Can I have a bathroom break?"

Chandler rolled his eyes. "Fine. Take five!"

Joey trudged for the bathroom. Once alone, Chandler began to pace about the apartment.

It wasn't actually that Joey's acting was bad. If anything, the scene annoyed Chandler for it reminded him of Monica and her tragic news from the night before. He truly felt bad about taking out his rage and grief on her bathroom mirror; he would pay her back for it, even replace it with a new one, a better one!

But mirrors were not babies. And if it were up to him, within his power, he would give Monica what she really wanted…. He cared for her that much.

"What can I do?" Chandler thought out loud. "Give her a baby! That's a laugh…." He continued to pace about the living room, interlocking his fingers behind his head as he racked his brain. "If she could have a baby at all, she'd never want to do it with me! I'd be a lousy father…." A pause. "Well, it's true…. Everybody knows it…." He sighed. "Loving a person means accepting them for who they are. Not wanting to change that person….. but that doesn't mean people don't change for the ones they love. I'd be willing to change a lot about myself, to make Monica happy. Give her a baby. I could change. Learn how to be a good dad. For her. Because Mon…. she's already there. She's a mother….. without a baby…" He breathed out deeply, bristling at the sound of the toilet flushing. Joey emerged a second later, grinning.

"Let's get another take!"

"OK." Chandler moved back to the camera. "And….. ACTION!"

The next night, Joey called for everyone to meet at Monica and Rachel's place.

"I've got this taped audition I have to send in, courtesy of my agent!" he gushed to his friends. "I think it's the best one yet, but I want to hear your opinions!"

Everyone else shuffled on the couch, stealing glances. Joey had asked for their opinions, but seeing as he hadn't specifically asked for any honest ones, nobody was sure whether such a blunt rendering could be given. They all were aware of how delicate Joey could be about his work, and didn't want to hurt his feelings.

Joey popped the tape into the player. The first image that flickered onto the screen was….

….. Chandler?

Joey frowned. "Whuh-oh."

"Oooh! Chandler, are you auditioning too?" Phoebe bounced in her seat.

Chandler sent an awkward look in Joey's direction. "Must….. must not have spliced the cut correctly. No worries, Joe – I can fix it!" Joey didn't appear to hear him, as he was now attempting to press fast forward on the VCR.

"The button's stuck!"

"Come on, Joey, move over! We can't see!" Ross bawled.

Joey scuttled away. The image onscreen showed Chandler pacing around his and Joey's living room in front of the still rolling camera. From out of frame, there was a kind of grunt emanating from the bathroom. Joey blushed.

"Sorry. We were on a break." Instantly, he clapped a hand over his mouth at the fierce glares he received from Ross and Rachel. "Bathroom break! I meant a bathroom break!"

"Ssssh!" Monica hushed.

Chandler watched himself on the screen and blanched as it dawned on him that his on-camera self was speaking.

"Give her a baby! That's a laugh…."

Shifting uncomfortably, Chandler got up as inconspicuously as he could and began to retreat to the door of Apartment 20. "Speaking of bathroom breaks…." He muttered. Everyone ignored him, oddly riveted to the screen.

"If she could have a baby at all, she'd never want to do it with me! I'd be a lousy father…. Well, it's true…. Everybody knows it…."

"For heaven's sake, can someone fast forward already?" Ross bawled. "I thought this was Joey's audition tape….."

"SHUT UP!" Monica suddenly yelled, ignoring everyone's stares. "It just! Got! Interesting!" She turned back to the screen, transfixed. She couldn't take her eyes off the Chandler she saw here – anguished. Conflicted. Wracking his brain.

"Loving a person means accepting them for who they are. Not wanting to change that person….. but that doesn't mean people don't change for the ones they love. I'd be willing to change a lot about myself, to make Monica happy. Give her a baby. I could change. Learn how to be a good dad. For her. Because Mon…. she's already there. She's a mother….. without a baby…"

Rachel now had a hand to her mouth, attempting to hold in a gasp. Ross was wriggling with discomfort on the couch, but didn't seem to have the werewithal to send even a protective glower Chandler's way. Joey had tears streaming down his face, moved by the pathos in Chandler's 'performance.'

The tape now continued to run, showing Joey coming out of the bathroom and walking back into frame. The men set up for another take, but no one on the couch was watching anymore. They were all staring at Monica, who now rose slowly to her feet. The dignity and grace in her posture was breathtaking.

Slowly, she rounded the couch and glided across the room to where Chandler stood frozen by the door. She was staring at him, her lips slightly parted, gazing at him as if she had never seen him before.

Chandler could only stare back, holding his breath, hardly daring to let even a whoosh of it out.

Even as he wasn't sure why, he expected her to be angry with him. Disgusted and perhaps repulsed because he was right: why would she ever even entertain the idea of accepting sperm from him or whoever? Wasn't that a moot point anyway….?

Monica's expression as she drew near was incredibly soft. Silently, she all at once looped her arms around Chandler's neck, smothered her lips against his and deeply kissed him.

A beat in which Chandler stood frozen with shock in her arms and then he was kissing her back, dazed with wonder.

And then Monica was kissing his face, his chin, his closed eyelids, his nosed, on his mouth once more. She was nuzzling her face against his, breathing out sweet nothings in an awestruck, breathless voice, murmuring how he was wonderful. She called him 'precious one.' 'Loved one.' 'Dearest one…..'

Her kisses along his face fading into small, light, feverish pecks, Monica finally slid into Chandler's embrace, resting her head against his chest, where she let out a shuddering exhale. Light-headed, Chandler stole his arms around her and rested his chin on top of her head, ignoring the gawping stares from their friends and her brother.

"Oh, Chandler, it's…. it's too much!" He could feel how Monica's tears were soaking his shirt, but could hardly give a damn. Resting her chin on his clavicle, a tear-streaked and touched Monica peered up into his face. Gazed into his eyes. "Oh, sweetie….. did you really mean what you said?"

Chandler smiled down at her softly. "Of course I did…." He stepped into her. "You wanna know if I'm sure...?" And drawing her close, he kissed her, long and lingering, feeling how she swooned, melted water-soft into his embrace. When they finally, sensuously broke apart, she was trembling.

"….. This is crazy….." Monica gasped, shaking her head in bewilderment. "It's….. Oh….. you're wonderful….." And she threw her arms around him.

Chandler held her close. He loved this woman so much!

Much as he had not realized how he had been on camera while pouring out his heart, he also wasn't aware that he had spoken aloud now until he heard Monica suck in a sharp breath and draw back, her blue eyes wide. "You….. you what?..." she breathed.

Even as he blushed furiously, Chandler took a deep breath and squared his shoulder. He nodded. "Yeah. … I love you, Monica….."

He felt her let in another intake of breath. But she didn't pull away. Smiling radiantly through her tears, Monica instead pulled him closer. "I love you too, Chandler…."

They kissed, the embrace deepening into something passionate. Lost in their own world, neither one of them noticed Phoebe turning to the others, beaming.

"See?" she crowed with triumph. "He's her lobster!"