Chapter 5: A Quick Chat

"I came as fast as I could," states Flash sipping strong Sumatran java from the McNider pantry.

Despite recent stress, Myra has nicely made coffee for the men—and herself—after encountering Kriglo invaders from outer space who kidnapped her, combatted Dr. Mid-Nite, and nearly killed them both by crude cooking. Dutifully, she will have sweet rolls soon on the kitchen table, where the fellas sit speaking. For now, they chew cheese providing wholesome protein, calcium, and cholesterol. In 1948, women are strong women—by a certain definition.

"We have issues to address," Charles tells Jay, "For example, who were those strange beings who stole confiscated JSA loot tonight?"

"From your description," Jay dashes to the bathroom and back, "they were the Spider-Men of Mars. I have encountered them once before—but on Mars."

"Go on," Mid-Nite urges, "I have had a long night fighting spidery centaurs—apparently from space—and Dr. Light and Solomon Grundy before that."

Flash flashes surprise, "You battled Solomon Grundy before coming here?"

"Not solo," the All-Star admits, "Alan assisted. In fact, he sent Solomon all the way into the Atlantic."

"Ah yeah," All-Star Garrick grants, "Green Lantern is a good guy."

"Great. And, I am grateful for Dr. Mid-Nite's chums," McNider nods, "However, could you say more about these arachnid Martians?"

Flash pops aside for half-a-tick. He returns with a refilled coffee, "Certainly. A while back, I had a crazy colleague, fellow scientist, named Prof. Jeremiah Jennings who injudiciously generated a screwball plan. He would wondrously wend his way to Mars [see Flash Comics #24]."

"Jennings is the name of the human collaborator with the creatures tonight," Myra interrupts, "While webbed-up, I heard them proclaim 'Jennings' their pet."

Mercury does not mind Myra's intrusion. In fact, he fetches a pen and pad quick upon which he deftly draws, "Did the lout look like this?"

"Why yes."

"That's him," Flash continues to share the picture (with Charles), "Anyway, Jeremiah pretentiously thought that he could jet to Mars. And, he was not completely hubristic. Nor hare-brained. Nor hysterical. Rather, he did build a functional rocket ship.

"But, Jennings did everything else half-cocked. For example, he associated with the gang boss Enzil to finance, assemble, and people his pet project. The mad scientist and mobster abducted whole families to shoot into space.

"Luckily, I learned of the launch, and my winged heels made the flight at the last minute. Then, I too was bound for Mars. On the Red Planet, the ship's crew, captives, and castaway encountered the Kigor community containing the Kriglo. The arachnoid Kriglo were Spider-Men of Mars. And, they weren't going to be conquered, colonized, cowed, castrated, conned, cajoled, or coerced. Ergo, they killed impudent Enzil, enthralled Jennings, and commandeered the ship.

"The Kriglo could not control me, though. I ran circles around several and clocked a bumper crop on their keisters before liberating all captives. Consequently, Jennings, the rabble, and I returned to Earth via rocket.

I had hoped that genius Jennings was the wiser after his Martian misadventure. He seemed so. Still, I reported him to the authorities, for being an accessory to kidnapping and such. Apparently, per Wonder Woman's grapevine when we gossiped a wee, Jennings' unauthorized and outrageous experiment cost him dearly with the U.S. government. Though obviously brilliant, he was excluded from the recent Manhattan Project. Pal Ted Knight confirms what Wonder Woman says. Uncle Sam judged Jennings a loose cannon not to be aimed at the Axis."

"Hmph. I wonder how he took that humiliation," Dr. McNider ponders, "As a physician and criminologist, I suspect that his id was very aroused. Megalomaniacs tend to be heroes in their own minds. For example, they may experiment with interplanetary colonization, whether subjects want to go or not. Or, they may feel that they should be heroes during a war."

"Well, don't we all?" Flash smirks, "We superheroes proudly, prominently, publicly played our parts in the Pacific and Europe not long ago."

"True," Mid-Nite grants, "However, the Justice Society is of angels and icons. In contrast, mad scientists tend to be both crazy and criminal. They disrupt indispensable decorum. Rogue Jennings had to be reined in and regulated."

"I should ring-up the JSA for an emergency meeting. Genuinely, Jennings and jokers jeopardize us," Myra abruptly assesses aloud, "As your assistant, Doctor, I shall start all of those phone calls—once I have the sweet rolls served."

"Thanks, sugar," says (sort of chauvinist) Charles.