"It hurts… it burns… it's burning me…"

"It's going to be alright. Take a deep breath. You've still got a ways to go."

Envy sobbed, twitching on the bed, not opening his eyes for fear the light would cause him even more pain. "It hurts so much… please, please do something…"

"Sorry, kiddo, but we can't do anything." Greed's smirk was evident from his cocky tone. "You'll just have to suck it up like a big boy."

"Shut up," the youngest homunculus hissed, fingers curling through the bedsheets. "It's not fair. Why aren't you in pain? Why can't I feel better?"

"That's your jealousy showing," Greed laughed. "Poor little Envy, he can't be healthy like the rest of us. He has to wait."

"Shut up!" Envy froze, having opened his mouth too wide and sent pinpricks of electricity over his lips. "This isn't… f-funny."

Greed fell silent, and then he chuckled. "I know it isn't. You're in agony, and there's no relief. You're scared and vulnerable. You've only been alive for two hours, and the only thing you've known is pain." He paused, and Envy could hear the smile in his voice. "But if you're mad at me, it'll take your mind off the agony. So, if you don't mind, I think I'll just keep on irritating you."

Lust laughed softly. "Greed might not have the nicest methods, but it helped me when I was created. Give it a chance."

Envy felt the bed sink next to him and cried out in pain.

"Is there anything that doesn't hurt?" Lust asked. "Anything at all?"

"I… I… there's a spot on my thigh. On the left…"

Envy tensed slightly when he felt a finger on his skin, but he soon relaxed, able to focus on the sensation and distract himself from the pain everywhere else.

"Focus on my touch… on my voice…"

Greed snorted. "Kinda hard not to, toots."

"Be quiet, Greed," she sighed.

Envy startled, pulled from the daydream by a loud whistle from somewhere close by. He looked up instinctively and met a pair of very irritated eyes, though it took his brain a moment to figure out whose eyes they were.

"Huh?" he mumbled.

"I was trying to get your attention." Mustang crossed his arms over his chest, tapping his foot impatiently. "You've been sitting there for nearly eight hours. It's almost midnight. Do you intend to sleep anytime soon?"

Envy shook his head. "He's awake. I'll stay awake with him."

Mustang blinked in surprise and turned to look at the bed. "He is?"

"It hurts to open his eyes," was the only explanation Envy offered.

Mustang hummed curiously and leaned over the form on the bed. "Can you hear me?"

Envy shot Mustang a vicious glare, but he was either unseen or ignored.

"It hurts," the boy whispered, barely moving his lips. "Please… please, do something."

Mustang turned to Envy with an expectant look in his eyes, but Envy only shook his head. Mustang scowled, his expression shifting to display suspicion, like he thought Envy was torturing the boy for fun.

"There isn't…" Envy stopped, let out a sigh, and got to his feet. "Kid, is there anywhere you don't hurt? Anywhere at all?"

"I… I…" The homunculus convulsed, drool trailing down his cheek and into his hair. "I think… my arm… my right… at the top…"

Envy walked around the bed and looked over the skin carefully. He hadn't been able to find the signature tattoo anywhere on the boy's body, but there were a few angry red marks forming a circle on the limb in question, so he would have to take a chance and hope for the best.

"What are you doing?" Mustang quirked a brow.

"The only thing I can." Envy carefully reached out and placed his index finger against the skin, rubbing in a small, circular motion. "How's that?"

"It's… g-good…"

Envy nodded. "Focus on my voice. Focus on my touch. You need to get some sleep so your body can recover. Focus on whatever you can to distract your mind from the pain."

"I can't," the boy rasped, chest heaving as he struggled to breathe.

"You don't have a choice." Envy allowed his lips to twitch up into a small smile. "You'll just have to suck it up like a big boy."

"Envy—" Mustang began a warning but was cut off by the bedridden patient.

"Y-you're mean…"

Envy let his smile get a little bigger. "I know. Focus on that. Focus on your anger instead of your pain. I know it isn't much, but it really will help."

"I… I…"

Envy looked at Mustang across the bed. "We have to think of a name for him." He dropped his gaze back down, trying to keep the boy engaged in whatever conversation he could manage to create. "Or do you already have one?"

"I don't… I don't know…"

Envy nodded, wetting his lips before continuing. "Hmm. You're a very interesting homunculus." Purple eyes traveled over the body, a thoughtful crease in his brow. "I was made from the essence of a specific trait of a living Philosopher's Stone. You were made with a normal Philosopher's Stone, but you weren't created by injecting that Stone into an already living human."

Mustang sat down in the chair Envy had previously occupied, clearly intending to stay for a while, and Envy inwardly questioned whether he was making the right move by revealing so much. But what choice did he have?

"If you don't remember your name, then one soul didn't assume dominance over the others." He pressed on the flesh he was idly rubbing, trying to mix up the sensations he was giving the boy on the bed. "Honestly, I just took the name I was given. I never questioned it, so I don't know if you're supposed to know your name or not." He started tapping an uneven rhythm. "Still, you're different from the rest of us. I would be willing to bet that your body is picking the strongest traits it can find from whatever souls are available and creating one, unique personality with it."

Mustang cleared his throat and interjected himself into the conversation, evidently understanding what Envy was trying to do. "But you said the method used to make him was more like yours than Wrath's. So, if Father isn't around to offer part of himself, and the Stone wasn't injected into an already living person, how is this boy alive?"

Envy nodded slowly, lips pursing as he contemplated the question. "Well, it's like I said. You would need multiple souls to make the body, but… without Father… I guess you would have to have two Philosopher's Stones. You would put the Stones in the center of the circle with the ingredients for a human body. One Stone would be used to open the portal and create a habitable body as a result, and the other one would be the one that's fused to the body to give it nonhuman features."

Mustang nodded slowly, rubbing his chin and staring intently at the wall behind Envy's head. "So, once the toll is paid for the body, you do the damage to the Stone and the human form. The Stone reacts to being broken by fixing itself, and that healing slowly extends to the body containing it. Eventually, the Stone realizes it's connected to the body, and the healing becomes a reflex."

"Exactly." Envy continued to make contact with the reddened flesh, watching the slick chest jerk up and down at a steadily slower rate. "Because the Philosopher's Stone is the greater force, it has to accept or destroy the body first. Once that happens, the homunculus can only feel his or her body trying to expel the Stone."

Mustang gestured to the form on the bed. "That's what's happening now, then."

Envy gave a single nod, still rubbing even though he was certain the boy had dozed off. "If you want to ask, go ahead," he said, knowing there was a specific reason the colonel had come to check on things.

For a moment, it seemed Mustang wouldn't take him up on his offer, but then he started to speak. "Who took care of you when you were made?"

Envy let out a bitter chuckle. "You assume I was taken care of. You must think better of us homunculi than you let on." He paused briefly, turning his attention from the boy to the man. "Greed and Lust, mostly. Pride offered a little help when he was in the right mood. I helped when Gluttony and Sloth came along."

Mustang stared at him, eyes scrutinizing but not quite cold. "How could you follow your father when he had put you through that?"

"I already told you," Envy snapped. "It doesn't matter. I'm alive today because of what he did. It was excruciating, but it was better than never having existed at all. He gave me life. He was my father. What else is there?"

"Was there any love at all?" Mustang chose to answer the question with a question, the 'L' word falling from his lips so easily it made Envy's stomach churn. "Was there any affection? If you weren't paralyzed with pain, did you care for each other? Did he ever tell you he was proud? Or glad he made you?"

"I don't need any of that." Envy tensed, his finger frozen against the boy's skin. "Humans need those things because they're weak. Emotions are pointless, and I don't need them."

Mustang didn't miss a beat. "You mean to tell me you've never looked at yourself in the mirror and wondered if you were worth anything? You never needed or wanted to be encouraged by those around you? If your family threw you out and despised you, you would have been fine with it simply because emotions are weak and pointless?"

Mustang got to his feet, approaching the homunculus with an unreadable but unwavering expression. Envy straightened up and took a step back to put more space between them, not at all liking the sudden turn the conversation had taken.

"You mean to tell me there was never a need for affirmation?" Mustang stopped just a foot or so away from his prisoner. "When you took your first steps in this world, you didn't need someone to hold onto? You never once doubted who you were and what you wanted?"

Envy took another step back and hit the wall, wincing when his burned skin objected to the contact. He didn't know if he had an answer for Mustang, but he wasn't as concerned about making a witty comeback as he was figuring out why Mustang had him cornered.

What did I do wrong? Why is he doing this?

"You mean to tell me," Mustang reached out and took Envy by the shoulders, "that never in your very lengthy lifespan," he pulled him away from the wall, "did you come home from a mission and want to hear your father say…" he took a gloved hand and gently grasped Envy's chin, "'You did good today, Envy. You did exactly what I required of you, and I am very pleased with your results."

Envy choked, too horrified and confused to do or say anything. He could only stand there, staring into dark but unusually soft eyes, hoping his brain would make sense of something soon. Did I want those things? Of course I did, I'm Envy. I wouldn't be Envy if I didn't want what others have, so it makes sense that I wanted… affection and affirmation. Right? Right, and it wasn't just me, either. Lust, well, lusted after affection from Father, and Greed wanted approval because he wanted everything. It's part of our sin nature. It has nothing to do with emotions, it's not like we—it's not like I actually care about stuff like that. It's just the sin nature in me. That's what it is. I can't control that. That's not weakness.

"It seems being human isn't nearly as bad as you make it out to be."

Envy opened his mouth, tongue faltering against his teeth as he tried to spit out a reply. "You…" He blinked, eyes flickering from Mustang's face to the hand on his shoulder and back again. "I…" He tensed, frantically trying to figure out what was happening. "What do you want?"

"Nothing." Mustang let go of his captive, a faint smirk pulling on the corner of his mouth. "But I didn't make any points that weren't valid." He put his hands on his hips, giving the homunculus on the bed a thoughtful look. "It seems the boy is asleep. You should get some rest, too. You're still recovering."

"Yeah, recovering from when you turned me into a well-done steak for no reason." Envy folded his arms over his chest, and even though he would never admit it, he sort of pouted as he averted his eyes.

Mustang only chuckled. "I'll stay up and keep an eye on him. Havoc is waiting outside to take you back to the hotel."

Envy looked at Mustang for a long moment, and then his gaze shifted to the form on the bed. He watched the chest rise and fall, hearing the way the breath caught in the boy's throat, and he felt an ache in his sternum.

"I want to stay."

Mustang folded his arms over his chest. "Envy, I'm perfectly capable of handling—"

"You don't know." Envy looked back at Mustang, trying to put something sincere onto his face for a change. "You've never lived through something like this. You've never felt this kind of pain. You don't know."

For a second, it didn't look like Mustang was going to buy the argument, but then a resigned sort of expression took over his features. "Empathy." He reached up and pinched the bridge of his nose. "Fine. You should know there will always be someone outside the door."

"Yeah, I figured." Envy approached the chair and dragged it closer to the bed. "I'll be as non-problematic as possible."

Mustang took a few steps toward the door. "Do you want something to read?"

Frowning, Envy considered the offer, and after a few moments, he nodded. "Yeah. I'll read whatever, so—" He stopped, brow creasing as a thought occurred to him. "Actually, bring me one of the books we found in the lab. One of the ones on chimeras. Maybe I can figure out what's going on with this new homunculus."

Mustang nodded sharply. "It'll take a little while, but if I can get the Elric brothers to walk away from their own attempt to figure out what's going on, I'll bring one to you."

Lips twitched up into the faintest of smiles. "Sounds good." He put his eyes back on his new brother, hearing the door open and close behind him.

The boy—they really needed to name him—jerked his head in his sleep with a soft moan. Envy moved the chair a little closer and leaned forward, eyes skimming the body. They hadn't even covered it with a blanket because Envy informed them the contact would cause pain. All of his wounds had been healed by the Stone, and Envy knew it was just the pain of the body rejecting the Stone that remained. Everything else had been fixed.

We've got a lot to figure out. He reached out and brushed the boy's bright red hair out of his face. This isn't going to be easy.

Then again, nothing lately had been easy. Every day was a struggle, and there was no end in sight, so Envy's observation didn't really mean much. But that didn't take away the truth in his words.

No, this isn't going to be easy at all.

Something was clacking, emitting a sound of metal striking against metal that was not high enough in pitch to be utensils or clashing swords. He could feel the world rumbling beneath him, a smooth surface vibrating against his face. Scents of food and drink filled the room—a train car, he realized, not a room—and there seemed to be rather lighthearted conversation travelling between the passengers.

"Aww, look at that. I wish I had a camera."

They better not be talking about me. Though he wasn't sure who else they would be talking about, unless someone else had fallen asleep on a train ride they didn't remember boarding in the first place. In fact, he didn't even remember waking up in the morning.

"Yes, because that's so photogenic."

Envy stirred then, figuring he might as well let them know he was awake. If he listened too long and let something he shouldn't have known slip later on, he would no doubt be accused of deceit, and he didn't want to take that chance.

"Envy, are you awake?"

Lifting his head, he forced his eyes open and looked to his left, where Mustang sat with a raised brow, patiently awaiting the answer to his question. Envy didn't have the brainpower to give him a sarcastic answer—come on, they were making eye contact, he was clearly awake—so he settled for a lopsided nod instead.

"How'd we get on the train?" Envy slurred, rubbing the sleep from his eyes.

"We boarded it." Havoc grinned, chewing on a toothpick.

Mustang exhaled softly, tapping the side of his coffee cup. "You and the other homunculus were out cold, so we carried you. We figured you could use the rest."

Envy looked directly across from himself and found the redheaded creation with his face pressed against the window, a small stream of drool coming out of his mouth. It looked like they were in a dining car, and there was a table in between the seats. Most of Mustang's team were at the table across the aisle, while their table contained Alphonse, Havoc, and the new homunculus on one side, and Edward, Mustang, and Envy on the other.

"We saved some breakfast for you." Alphonse pushed a covered plate down the table towards him, a small smile pulling on the corner of his mouth.

Envy blinked slowly and then straightened up slightly, taking the lid off the dish and blindly feeling around for a fork. "Thanks." He repeated the word when Mustang handed him the utensil he was too lazy to look for. "Um… why are we not staying in the town where we were investigating?"

"Excellent question." Mustang took a sip of his coffee. "We are returning to Central because there are some concerns with the presence of a new homunculus, and they would like to gather more information." He glanced over at the topic of discussion. "We aren't turning him over to the science department. Our military might not be under Father's control anymore, but that doesn't mean I trust them to be moral about their efforts. Still, the military wants to know this new creature isn't a threat." He tapped his index finger against the rim of his mug. "We were talking about potentially getting him classified as a resource and utilizing him as an informant of sorts. That would offer him some protection and keep things humane. Of course, he would still need someone to stay with until he gets on his feet, so that's another matter to sort out."

Envy nodded slowly and offered a dismissive shrug. "Just ask him what he wants to do when he wakes up." He paused then, looking around the table and curling his lips into a smirk when he saw their startled expressions. "Or did you already forget that he's a person with wants and desires and a mind of his own?"

Mustang cleared his throat. "Of course not." He took another sip of his drink, looking across the table.

Envy hummed but said nothing more, having gotten his point across with that simple question. "Since my two cents are the reason you dragged me along, I will tell you I think he would be best off somewhere far, far away from the military. Maybe in Resembool? But I have no idea what he wants."

Edward, who had remained uncharacteristically silent since Envy woke up, chose that moment to lean forward and insert himself into the conversation. "Does he really know enough about the world to make that decision, though?" He rubbed the back of his head, chuckling a bit nervously. "Not that the situation is the same, but I know I made a lot of stupid decisions when I was a kid. He's a brand new person. He has a right to his input, but we can't just let him wander off and do whatever he wants."

Envy shrugged again, and he briefly considered reminding Edward that he was still a kid. "You could. He has no reason to hurt anyone, he hasn't been trained to fight, and without someone like Father giving him orders—"

"We can't just leave him by himself." Edward looked down the table at Envy, his brow furrowed in a blend of confusion and disapproval. "Who knows what would happen?"

Envy blinked slowly, leaning forward and slowing his speech. "He isn't a threat. That's what I just told you."

Edward only shook his head again. "That's not what I mean. It's like I said, Envy: He's a brand new person. We can't leave him all alone. He won't know what to do, and he'll be scared. How is he going to get a job? Where is he going to live? What is he going to eat?"

Envy stared at him, utterly baffled, and it wasn't until he saw the genuine worry in Edward's eyes that he understood. They were concerned for the homunculus' wellbeing, not for the safety of their people. They didn't want the boy to be alone, or afraid, or hurt, or killed, or cold, or hungry, or homeless. They cared about him, and it was this jarring realization that lit an old, familiar fire in the pit of Envy's stomach.

"Or did you already forget he's a person with wants and desires and a mind of his own?" Mustang quipped, smirking at the smaller male.

Envy snarled in reply. "No, but I didn't expect any of you to see him that way." He stared the colonel down for a few more seconds, and then he filled his mouth with food and turned to look out the window.

You don't see me that way. You don't think of me as a person, and if I escaped, you wouldn't care what happened to me, you would only be worried about your citizens. But it's not my fault that I am who I am. It's not like I asked to be the one Father created and raised and trained. I could have just as easily been made like this homunculus was. It's not fair. Why do I always get the short end of the stick, huh? It's not fair!

Jealousy. It was burning through him with a ferocity he hadn't felt in months, corrupting every single thought and emotion with bitterness. He wanted to be in the new homunculus' position. He wanted to have people doting on him, devoting their time and energy to making sure he was safe. He wanted to have freedom and choice, to have the ability to leave Amestris behind. He wanted an older, more experienced homunculus to take care of him and tell him what to do so he didn't have to figure everything out by himself.

He wanted it so badly it hurt.

Like someone had taken a chisel and started chipping their way through his sternum, it physically hurt. Like someone was burning him from the inside out, like he imagined Greed felt when he was melted down and swallowed by Father. It felt like drowning, like he wanted to breathe but couldn't, like he wanted to scream at the top of his lungs but couldn't get his lips apart. He hated it. He hated it so much.

"It was just a joke, Envy." Mustang's voice pulled the homunculus from his thoughts.

"I know that," Envy growled. "Do you need me for anything else? I'm tired."

Mustang arched a brow, clearly suspecting something, but he eventually shook his head. "No, not at the moment."

Envy turned away from the group again, glaring out the window with every ounce of hatred he felt welling up inside him.

Of course you don't need me. You're just going to ask him when he wakes up. Why would you need me? It's not like I know more about his body than he does. It's not like I'm the only reason he's still alive. Why would I be a priority? I have injuries, too, in case you've forgotten, and they're all your fault! But I wouldn't expect you to think about that, because I'm not him, and it's not fair! It's not fair, it's not fair, it's not fair!

Envy was so engulfed in his hatred that he almost didn't notice the warning hand on his thigh, almost didn't notice the way the fingers dug into his skin to remind him he was being scrutinized.

Make my day, Mustang. I dare you.

Because at least then the colonel would be paying attention to him.

Bring it on. I'll fight you right here on the train.

But Mustang didn't do anything, and it only made Envy that much angrier.

I'll get what I want, Mustang. I always do. Just you wait.

"Do you know how to play Gin?"

Envy opened his eyes and looked up to see Havoc standing above him with a deck of cards in his hand. "What?"

Havoc waved the cards in his face. "Gin. Everyone's gone home for the night except us and Mustang, who's talking about getting Raiden established as an informant. It's just us. So… cards."

Envy blinked slowly, considering the idea. He had no idea when Mustang would return from talking with the higher ups about Raiden—because that was the name they decided on, and Envy thought it was a stupid name, but that was what the boy wanted, so whatever, Envy didn't care, not at all—and he could definitely use something to occupy himself in the meantime.

"Teach me, and I'll play."

"Sweet." Havoc grinned and flopped down on the other end of the couch.

Pulling the cards from the box, the soldier began to shuffle them in his hands, already launching into an explanation of the rules. "It's really easy. There are runs and sets. Sets are three or more cards of the same number, runs are three or more cards of numbers in sequence—like one, two, three—from the same suit." Havoc started to deal out the cards, his hands flashing back and forth. "I dealt ten for myself. You have eleven. You start by discarding one card, and after that, I draw one card. I can either pick up what you put down or draw a new one, and then I discard a card of my own. We keep doing this until one of us has a hand that can all be laid down at the same time, at which point, you yell 'Gin,' lay down your cards, and you've won the game. Got it?"

Envy frowned, picking up his cards and examining the numbers and symbols thereon. "It sounds simple enough."

Havoc grinned, setting the empty box and the two extra cards on the coffee table. "Cool. We'll play a practice round first, so if you have any questions, you can ask midgame."

Envy nodded, quickly organizing his cards and looking over what he had. He thought for a moment, shrugged, and put down a three of clubs. "Not that I don't appreciate having something to do, but don't you have work you're supposed to be doing?"

Havoc grimaced and waved it off, drawing a card and putting down one of his own. "Eh. Hawkeye and the boss aren't here to pester me about it, and it's more fun to play a game with you than to sign paperwork all night."

Envy allowed his lips to pull into a small smile, but it didn't last long. He was still growing increasingly jealous of Raiden, and if he was reading the situation right, Mustang had excluded him from the meeting because of his increasingly sour disposition.

It's not my fault that I'm jealous. I can't help it.

"So, you weren't looking too happy on the train."

Envy glared across the sofa, discarding a four of hearts. "That's none of your business."

Havoc pursed his lips and nodded to the side in a 'fair enough' sort of gesture. "Maybe not, but you might as well get your practice in."

Envy drew another card, taking another moment to glare at Havoc before actually looking to see what he picked up. "What's that supposed to mean?"

"You really think Mustang will just let it slide?" Havoc gave him a toothy grin. "You wear your heart on your sleeve, kid. He's gonna have a slew of questions for you when he gets back."

Envy snorted and threw down another card, reorganizing the ones in his hand if only so he didn't have to look at the man sitting across from him. "I'm Envy. What did you think would happen when you brought another homunculus into the picture?"

Havoc paused then, toying with the edges of his cards but neither drawing nor discarding. "You're jealous of Raiden? Why? If you ask me, there's not a lot to be jealous of."

Envy scoffed. "Good thing I didn't ask you, then."

Havoc chuckled and shook his head. "You're a riot." He flicked the cards in his hand with the back of his index finger. "I hope you aren't thinking of doing something to get Mustang's attention."

Envy tensed slightly, forcing himself to relax a split second later. Was I that transparent? He looked down at his cards again, furrowing his brow as some of that disgusting, slimy, human hope started to pick at the edge of his mind. Maybe Mustang noticed. Maybe he'll pay attention to me without me doing anything else. He scowled, vaguely aware that Havoc was still waiting for a reply of some sort. No, that doesn't make any sense. Mustang has no reason to care about what I f—think. Because his jealousy was a thought, not a feeling. Envy didn't have feelings. Mustang hates me. I hate him, too. That's just the way it is.

Envy looked up, glaring at the lieutenant. "It's still your turn. Get on with it."

Havoc grinned widely and threw his hand down. "Gin!"

Immediately, Havoc reclaimed the cards and began to shuffle them. "I won't bug you about it if you don't want me to, but let me offer a word of advice." He dealt the cards back and forth between them, still grinning to himself. "Causing trouble isn't the way to get Mustang's attention. It won't work."

Envy said nothing, picking up his new hand and quickly arranging the contents.

Why wouldn't it work? He's already punished me for behaving wrong in the past. Wouldn't he do the same thing? Still, he trusted Havoc to know his superior, and that meant Havoc was likely onto something. If Mustang knew that Envy was jealous—and he probably did, as he was more observant than Havoc, and Havoc noticed—then maybe he wouldn't give out his usual responses. Well, what am I supposed to do then? I can't stay like I am. It'll drive me insane. I need to sate my jealousy. I need to.

Envy laid down a card.

I need to.

Author's Note: If you like my writing style, you should check out my website! I post updates about the different things I'm working on, including fanfiction and original works. does not allow links in profiles or stories, but if you message me, I can tell you how to get there. Or you can go to my other fanfiction pages, like AO3 and Wattpad, and follow the link from there! I hope to see you on the site!