Jackie's eyes peeled open; she then let out a light groan when the sunlight bled through her bedroom curtains hitting her face. She wasn't alone, beside her was a sleeping naked Eric Forman.
She peered downwards. Eric slept flat on his stomach and had a single arm wrapped around Jackie's bare breast. Even dead in sleep Eric was needy. On most occasions, Jackie would find that romantic. But not now. Not when she was suffering from a blistering headache, and when she desperately needed to pee.
"Eric." Jackie nudged him, but not lightly.
Eric mumbled something unintelligible. "Eric, get off me," Jackie said with force.
"Just a little longer," Eric sighed into the pillow.
Jackie huffed and found the strength to shove him off to her, to Eric's protest.
"What the hell? It's not even 6," Eric complained. Jackie only rolled her eyes and put on her silk robe.
When she was done using the toilet, Jackie washed her hands opened up the mirror above the sink, took a bottle of aspirin, and poured pills into her hand, and gulped them down with no water.
God, she felt horrible. Physically and mentally. Although Jackie wasn't concerned about her physical appearance, that could always be fixed by a little makeup and hair products. Jackie was more concerned about the beauty within at the moment, as cliche as that sounded
What she needed was a shower. Yes, a hot shower would wash away all of her sins.
She took a step into her pink tub and took in the scalding water. It felt nice. Jackie wished she could stay in it forever. She wished she could forget everything that led her to this point.
Unfortunately, that wasn't reality. Jackie would have no choice but to face the outside world and the pain that came with it.
Jackie entered back into her room, wearing her robe and a towel wrapped around her head. She found that Eric was awake and dressing himself.
"Are you sure you don't want to shower before you go?" Jackie offered not out of kindness, but in desperation. She didn't want to be alone.
Eric turned to face her. He looked terrible. He had Messy unwashed hair, and dark circles under his eyes, and his skin was sickly pale. "Naw, I can do it when I get home," He pulled up his pants and gave a half smile. "But thanks."
"I don't mind. But it's your choice." Jackie said. She was sure this time Eric could hear the desperation in her voice.
"I need to get home before my folks find out I'm not there." Eric hastily tied his shoes.
"Yeah, you wouldn't want them to find out about your dirty little secret," Jackie said bitterly.
Eric's face contorted into something unreadable to Jackie. "They'd never forgive me, or you." That was all he said in return. Jackie wanted to say something, but she knew Eric was right.
After all, she made sure whenever Eric spent the night, that Michael's picture was faced down.
If people knew the truth, they'd be beyond disgusted with Jackie and Eric. Rightfully so. Jackie would be disgusted as well if soon after she died, her beloved boyfriend started fucking her best friend.
It was a coping mechanism. Jackie had told herself that a million times, but it never made the icky feeling go away.
Today marked the first anniversary of Michael and Donna's death. The agony was unreal, it was nothing Jackie, nor Eric had ever experienced in their lifetime. And no prescription would make the pain disappear.
No one understood them. Not their parents, not Jackie's therapist, or the so-called pastor Eric was forced to see order by Kitty. All Jackie and Eric had was each other. No matter how fucked up it was, they didn't have any plans on stopping.
Their twisted relationship was what ironically saved Eric from joining Donna in the afterlife.
It's been eight months and Jackie still shuddered at the memory of when she found Eric at the water tower, out of his mind, with a bottle of unopened pills, and beer cans scattered everywhere
Jackie didn't freak out on him, she didn't demand to know what he was doing, she didn't even lecture him. Because to tell you the truth, Jackie was also getting close to that point. The only thing keeping Jackie from ending it all was the fear of hellfire. The preacher at Jackie's church made it clear those who commit suicide will suffer eternal flames. And Jackie could have that, she was far too pretty.
Back to Eric. His face was red and blotchy. His usual bright green eyes looked cold and distant. He didn't look entirely there.
Eric didn't speak when Jackie sat down next to him. He didn't speak when she wrapped her arm around him, and he sure as hell didn't speak when Jackie rested her head on his shoulder. The uncontrollable tears didn't allow him to get a single word in.
All it took was one little touch and the numbness that held Eric captive melted away.
"Shh," Jackie cooed into his ear. "We'll get to see them again."
That only made Eric cry harder. Who knows if that's even true? Eric lifted his head and stared into Jackie's mixed-matched eyes. "We don't know that."
Jackie knew what Eric was referring to. It wasn't necessarily pastor Dave's fault. He quoted something from the book of Isaiah that suggested that people wouldn't remember their lives on earth. Pastor Dave didn't even say that was correct, even gave examples that we'd see our loved ones in heaven. But that didn't matter, just the mere possibility that Donna forgot Eric, and Eric eventually would forget Donna, sent him into a frenzy of utter despair.
Jackie was fortunate that her father sent her to an actual certified grief counselor. Not some asshole that didn't care about how we're actually doing
"You shouldn't think like that. Even Pastor Dave said it's not likely." Jackie responded.
"Well, what if it's true?" Eric challenged. "I can't live with that."
"It's not. Everything will be okay." Jackie assured him.
Eric let out a bitter laugh. "Jackie, you can't tell me you believe that crap."
"I do," Jackie said, her voice sounding pathetic.
"Then why are you here?" Eric asked.
"I'm not sure what you mean." Yes, she did. Jackie knew exactly what Eric was talking about.
"Please," Eric sneered. "Spare me. You had no clue I'd be here tonight. So why don't you just go ahead and admit it? You don't want to be here either."
Jackie's heart twisted in her chest. No, she didn't want to be here. If it were up to her, she'd happily take Donna and Michael's place.
"You're right, I don't want to be here," Jackie confessed. "But I won't do it, and I hope you won't either. Our friends and our families have already lost too much."
Eric didn't reply, he chugged his third beer. Jackie considered that to be a reply within itself.
As the night got colder, Jackie and Eric snuggled closer. Soaking up each other's body heat. They've hugged before, but this felt more intimate.
Jackie not only wanted to melt in his touch. But she also wanted to be a part of him.
All it took was for one look into each other's exhausted eyes, for their lips to meet.
Eric placed his hand on Jackie's cold creek to pull her in even closer. Jackie loved it. She loved the feeling of this kind of intimacy. It's something she's craved since Michael passed.
This is what she needed.
Eric was the first to break away. "Are you sure," He asked.
Jackie bit her lower lip and nodded, pulling back in for another warm kiss.
There was no second guess, there was no going back. Jackie and Eric wanted this, and no logic was going to stop them
Eric's hand went beneath Jackie's sweater. Jackie let out a little whimper when he slowly traced his fingers over her laced bra. It felt good, it felt so damn good to finally have someone touch her in that way.
Eric was now kissing along Jackie's neck, giving it a light nibble.
While this was happening Jackie found herself unbuckling his belt and began to give soft strokes.
"Fuck, Jackie," Eric whispered.
Jackie smirked and batted her lashes. "Does it feel good?"
A switch flicked and Eric roughly pinned Jackie down. Jackie gasped but didn't complain. He kissed her roughly, and then He hiked up her skirt and rubbed his hand amongst her soft thigh; she shuddered when she felt his hand pull down her panties. With a lustful stare, Eric thrust into her.
Jackie was in heaven.
"I'll see you this afternoon," Jackie cringed. The Pinncottis and The Kelso finally were holding a gathering at the cemetery to honor their lost children. Jackie and Eric were expected to be there.
Jackie arched her eyebrow. "You're actually going?"
"I'd feel like a jackass if I didn't."
"But don't want to?" Jackie asked, but Eric knew it was more of a statement rather than a question.
"Of course I don't."
"Then don't."
"Jackie," Eric sighed. "I have to. You have to."
"Whatever," Jackie whispered in defeat.
He kissed her forehead before he climbed out her window.
That was all their relationship could be.