Kakashi, on the other hand, mindlessly wandered through the quiet streets of the village, a heavy burden on his shoulders. He had faced the consequences of his actions, and the pain of seeing Sakura hurt by both him and Sasuke weighed on him.
He can accept it even if Sakura never find it in herself to forgive him. He deserved that. For all the pain he caused her, he knew that he does not deserve forgiveness.
"If only I was smart enough to know better than that." He murmured.
His mind drifted to the days when he can still see the genuine smile on her face.
Flashback...
"Kakashi!" Sakura said his name, worry is plastered on her face.
He just came from a mission. He had been waiting in her apartment for over an hour. He had a key to her door, so he can enter freely without breaking her window.
Sakura crossed the distance that separate them. Her arms automatically circled his waist. "You're back." She whispered.
"You can't get rid of me that easy, Sakura-chan." He replied, a small smile in his masked face.
He can feel her frown when he said that. "I didn't mean it that way, Kakashi-kun."
He chuckled softly. "I know what you meant. I just like teasing you."
Sakura pulled back, looking at him with concern. "Are you hurt? Your mission... did it go well?"
Kakashi's eye softened as he saw the genuine worry in her eyes. He reassured her, "I'm fine, Sakura. It was a routine mission, nothing I couldn't handle."
Relief washed over her face, and she smiled. "I'm glad you're safe. I always worry when you're out there."
Kakashi's gaze held a warmth that was reserved only for her. "I appreciate your concern, Sakura. It means a lot to me."
Sakura grinned, playfully punching his arm. "Well, you better take care of yourself, or I might have to come and rescue you one day."
He chuckled, capturing her hand and intertwining their fingers. "I'll make sure to keep that in mind."
As they sat there, hand in hand, the world outside seemed to fade away. In that moment, it felt like it was just the two of them against the world. Sakura's worries melted away, and she found solace in the comfort of Kakashi's presence.
End of Flashback...
Kakashi sighed as the memory lingered in his mind. The happiness and simplicity of those moments felt like a distant dream now. He had let fear and uncertainty guide his actions, tearing apart the connection they once shared.
He can still remember how he broke her heart. He was the one that shattered it. Putting his love and every little action of affection in question. Sasuke returned to the village, one day. Surprising even him. He thought that the Uchiha would never come back. But he did.
Sakura was away that day, she was still in a mission. He remembered how Sakura chased after the boy all these years. Would she run back to his first love? Will she leave him to try and make her childhood dreams come true?
Kakashi don't know what to feel at the uncertainty. One thing is for sure, if she breaks up with him, it will hurt like hell. So, he broke his heart first before she can do that.
"Kakashi." Sakura breathed his name when he waited for her in the village gates. The smile in her face was enough to lift the burdens in his shoulders. But the knowledge that there is a high chance she'll leave him for Sasuke, his burdens returned to his shoulders, multiplying its weight.
"We should break up." he said coldly, when she reached him, she was about to hug him. He was surprised at how emotionless his voice is to him, when his heart is in so much turmoil.
Sakura froze, her smile fading as she registered Kakashi's words. "What do you mean, Kakashi?" she asked, confusion and hurt evident in her eyes.
Kakashi avoided her gaze, his eye focused on the ground. "I think it's for the best, Sakura. I realized that I can't be what you wanted me to be. I've been forcing myself to be that person to you, but even a former ANBU spy can get tired at all the pretending." He lied through gritted teeth.
Sakura's eyes widened, disbelief and hurt etched on her face. "Kakashi, what are you talking about? What happened?"
Kakashi took a deep breath, his mask hiding the emotions that threatened to surface. "I've been thinking a lot, Sakura. We're in different phases of life. And I'm tired of pretending in front of you. I'm tired of pretending of being someone I'm not."
"Pretending?" She asked. Tears are threatening to fall from her eyes. "I don't understand. What are you talking about?"
Kakashi hesitated for a moment, the weight of his decision heavy on his shoulders. The image of her hurting is forever imprinted in his mind. "I mean, I can't be the person you want me to be. I've been trying to fit your mold, but I can't. I can't love you, Sakura." He stared at her, willing the lie that he is about to say to be true. "I don't love you."