SYLPHIETTE

Rudeus flickered his hand. His eyes darted between the diary and the dancing blaze on my fingertip. The sparks of my conjured flame flew and flew, randomly. Some dangerously neared the fragile paper, and Rudeus grew increasingly fearful as more continued to threaten his diary.

I eyed his silhouette, and he studied me in disapproval. He searched for my eyes, but I still had my sunglasses on. I wanted to take them off to directly face him, but I had both of my hands occupied and that would've meant to let the little flame die out. A risky move like that will make me vulnerable to his Eye of Foresight.

He was conflicted. Obviously, he's afraid for me to read the contexts of this book. The more he glanced at it, the more I wanted to open it. I was afraid though… of what I would read.

Everything is left to his actions. Will he attack me, claim the book, and disappear—as if nothing between us ever happened; or will he accept that he has nowhere to go, and allow me to read what could potentially be his crimes?

I'm afraid… a part of me knows that he could just lie to me, but I still want to believe in him; he's my husband, I have to trust him… I have to…

Rudeus seems to have chosen. The game of truth or dare is still on.

As I pondered, his demeanor changed once more. Standing straight, he gave me a nervous smile. I nearly glared at him, knowing what was about to come.

"Sylphie…"

"——"

"I… ah, er, I didn't know I was troubling you this much…"

"Cut it." I blurted, almost subconsciously. I was done with his antics. "It's time to act like a man for once, Rudy."

He simply laughed in a creepy way that sent shivers down my spine. This is not the Rudeus I knew…

He eyed me, guiltily, and said, "for you to act like this… it's not like you. Why don't we talk about this matter with the whole family? That way, I can clarify everything. Let's do it… tomorrow, when Norn visits us. Why don't we…?" His last words sounded meek, as if he was afraid to say them.

I pondered for a moment, but no thoughts came to my mind that could counter his argument.

He wanted to wait… wait for what? For an escape, for an opportunity? Or, to simply hide his diary way?

"Hm." I muttered. I then nodded in approval. "I'll wait, but I want to read this first."

At my rebuttal, Rudeus almost panicked, but gave me a faint, self-deprecating giggle that made me nearly go pale, and stated, "I will read it to everyone tomorrow, so… just trust me—ah, er…" he eyed me anxiously, and snickered, "I'm not the best example of trust now, aren't I…"

"Not really." I answered, which made him visibly sullen. I winced in guilt, but I still pressed on. "Rudy… what's written in this diary? Is it," I gulped really hard. "are you keeping in here love letters…?"

His eyes widened in surprise. His expression shock was so sincere that it made me feel like an idiot. He squinted his eyes repeatedly, and said, "What?! No—no, no, no. Wait. You thought I was betraying you and Roxy?! Why, why would I even do that!? Life here is so perfect—what more could I possibly ask?"

"You say that, but you still hid it."

"Oof… well, I had, reasons."

"Reasons. Tell me, is it the same one you told me just moments ago?—that it's from a friend."

"——" He looked away.

" Hahh… I figured as much. I can't trust you, Rudy, until I read it myself."

"N–No! Wait!" He cried out, dropping to his knees and cupping his hands together in prayer. This startled me, causing me to squeak a, "Whuh," in an… unceremonious way.

I could feel his state of mind. Pure disarray, as he scrambled the words and thoughts together. That feeling is one I can relate too…

When he first arrived to the Magic University of Ronoa, just thinking about seeing him again made my soul soar to the heavens. But upon facing him, all confidence wrecked down like branches on fire.

He was… completely different. His face and figure were the same, that's for sure; but he felt much, much more mature, which made me feel like a child.

I desperately wanted to give away my true identity. Just imagining the possibility to go back to the times of yore—when seeing us was an everyday occurrence—made me dream with open eyes sometimes.

But, here he was, standing before me—at the time—and I couldn't utter a single breath. I think he was presenting himself, but I was heard nothing: all I could understand was what my eyes could see, but it didn't feel real. I went deaf to my thoughts, and the words of Rudeus had finally struck in my consciousness. Subconsciously, I presented myself as Fitts.

After the mock battle, I couldn't think of anything but Rudeus. During classes, I thought about how his teaching had made school feel redundant. During meals, I thought about of what could be his favorite dish… so that I could maybe cook it for him. During my morning runs, and my training, I worked the hardest, since Rudeus had always done so.

At the time, I asked myself: why am I giving my all to him? That question kept me up at night and plagued my brain throughout the day.

But now, more than ever, I know the answer to that question.

I loved him. He was my first crush. I crushed on him so hard that I shaped myself throughout the years into what I thought was worthy enough to stand by his side.

And after innumerable adversities, here we are, husband and wife.

The future is scary…

I'm now finding myself in incredulous situations I wouldn't even dare to imagine as a kid.

But, look at me: subjecting my dream in a test—a trial of faith.

I have a good reason though… he was hiding too much—he could've been up to no good! I'm his wife, it's natural to worry about these things, isn't it?

But, exactly for that reason—as his wife—I have to trust him. If I, his very right shoulder, can't support him in his struggles then who will?

I huffed and snuffed out the flame. Rudeus visibly relaxed. He put a hand on his chest and sighed, "you got me good, Sylphy. Since when where you so assertive? You're going to make me fall in love with you all over again."

His smile was as captivating as ever. My blood rushed to my face, growing warm, uncomfortably so. I looked away, embarrassed.

"Hrm... you think so?"

"I SWEAR ON THE NAME OF—"

"H-Hey, everyone's still sleeping!"

I jumped like a cat, shutting his lips under my clove. Even if muffed, I still felt his joyous laugher. That naturally loosened up all my tension.

After savoring the moment, Rudeus took my hand in his only one and glimpsed at the diary in my arm, and then locked his sight on my eyes.

I hesitated a bit before I handled the diary back to him. He readily took it, but I still tightened my grip once it was in his hand. He felt my strength still clutched around the ruined cover, and he waited for me to let go.

It's my last chance. If I let go, who knows what will happen tomorrow? Will he disappear, or face us with honesty?

Well, it's too late. All I can do now is trust him.

But… I still had a doubt. A doubt that kept bugging me. Without letting go, I stated,

"Can I ask you something?"

"Yes, my lady." He said, in a language I couldn't understand. He called it "ingliss?" or something, but I more or less got the message.

"The night before everything started… I heard you talk to someone."

He immediately froze; I pressed on.

"Mind you explain?"

His face, at first, stood firmer than a brick. After a moment, it twisted. He's smile was so creepy that I immediately released the diary, and took a few steps backward. He responded by stepping forward for every step I took, which only served to heighten my fear.

" He… is no one of importance. I'll explain to you tomorrow."

"S-Sure…"

You won't…

I'm sure of it; he won't. Shivers ran down my spine as he stared at me, his expression soulless and conveying nothing but mischief.

He's at it, hiding something.

A question was raised—will he, for real, show up tomorrow?

I had only a way to confirm it.

"I will sleep with you today."

"Huh?"

"We'll sleep together. That way, you won't escape me."

I said it with a toothed grin. It wasn't intimidating, not scary, or false; I grinned in such an overly exaggerated manner to convey my truest feeling—you're mine.

He stood agape, all that macabre expression gone. His cheeks were slightly flushed, and he struggled to sentence his words.

I eyed him playfully, enjoying the display. He looked away, guiltily.

"I'll go and give an eye on Lucie." After bringing up our daughter, he widened his eyes in shock. His lips trembled.

"…Got it."

"I'll take a bath and join you right after." I said, already taking my exit.

"——"

He didn't reply to me.

After I withdrew from his room, I met eyes with Lilia and Aisha. They had been eavesdropping all the time, it seemed. Both of them were sully; disappointment screaming from their faces.

"Master Rudeus… I hope nothing awful is on your mind."

"Big bro…"

Their reaction was only natural; they were exposed to Rudeus' flaws, and that's always unpleasant, no matter how much you love someone. After all, good deeds are commendable, but mistakes cost you everything. Even I was ready to leave him if he had proven guilty.

I took off my sunglasses. I intently looked at my reflection. Short white hair, long ears, red eyes—that's me, alright.

I softly huffed, exhaustion finally hitting me. I felt heavy.

"Lilia. Aisha. Please, prepare me a bath."

"Yes, Lady Sylphiette."

I nodded in understanding. But something weirded me out.

"——"

Aisha didn't replay. She pondered, as she tipped her index on her chin, gawking at the ceiling. Lilia gazed at her daughter in confusion, just like me.

"Lady Sylphiette… I think I have a clue to this mystery."

My eyes widened in surprise. I and Lilia looked at her silhouette with such intensity that Aisha soon cowered a few steps away.

"What do you mean by that?" I immediately replied, not losing pace.

"I had accompanied him to mourn fath—Mister Paul's grave two days ago. But he would strangely eye sometimes at a grave near his. I had asked him who was that, but he shrugged the question away, telling me that it was 'no one of importance'. Maybe there's something hidden under it."

Huh. Interesting indeed, but there's a big inconvenience here…

"To consecrate a tomb, even in the name of truth… that seems excessive."

My words reasoned with them, and they both nodded. I really wanted to dig into it, but what if she was simply wrong? Well, yeah, we're talking about Aisha, but not every arrow reaches its mark. I'll keep that assumption in mind, but nonetheless… it's better to pray.

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I reached my room. Lucie was sleeping soundly, without a care in the world. I envied her. She didn't had to experience the pain of her sorrows and fears—yet. She would eventually, that's for sure.

I stood over the crib she slept in. She felt my presence, immediately moving her arms to reach me.

"Whah, gou… mama!"

I took her in my arms. I smiled as she hugged me.

"Look who's the best girl in the world!" I whispered, which made her beam a smile and laugh cheekily.

Rudeus… where you seriously risking all of this?

No—No. These thoughts mustn't cloud my judgment. Guilty or not; everything will be revealed tomorrow, in the solstice of the day: truth, lies, and secrets—and that diary.

Lucie pressed her fingers on my bosom. She eyed me hungrily.

"Little rascal, taking the chance, aren't you?"

I loosened my robe and let her bite at my breast. I slightly grunted a, "kuh," as Lucie began drinking, but that ticklish feeling soon disappeared. I was used to that by now.

As she fed, I wandered in thought.

My breasts… if they were bigger, curvy—would I need to worry about this matter?

My legs… if they were more plump, tantalizing—would I need to fear being betrayed?

As a woman, those thoughts plague my mind every night of passion. In the midst of it, I don't mind such things—well, for obvious reasons—but after the deed, insecurity hits me awfully so. My confidence quickly disappears, and I'm left to self-deprecate my body.

I had tried asking advice from grandma Elinalise, but she had dismissed everything as "post-nut clarity," telling me that it was no big deal and that it was just a phase.

But for me it's not "just a phase"…!

After I had given her a piece of my mind, she had laughed in my face, and quoting her,

"If you really want him to always stick with you, make him go to heaven. You know, I once tried this on a young man the age of Rudeus..."

I won't give any details of that conversation. It felt like being taught about the birds and the bees all over again…

I never tried that. Elinalise said that it's a family technique, but it doesn't take Aisha to guess it's something she had learnt on her three-digit body count.

But maybe… I'll try it. If tomorrow goes all well and smooth, I'll reward him for his loyalty.

"Ugh, it feels like I'm treating him like a dog…" I said, between me and me.

Lucie was slowing down, which meant she was full. This sneaky kid always tried to get a share bigger than she should. I separated her teeth from my nipple, receiving a bit of protest, but she settled down after I cradled her for a couple of minutes.

I gently placed her back in her crib. As I softly hummed to her into sleepiness, I couldn't stop myself to touch her pointed ear. Will she have the same discrimination I suffered…? Sharia was a tolerant city to all races, but what if we had to move out—to a place where people like me, Lucie and Roxy have to suffer mistreatment from strangers? Or worse, abuse from authorities and shops?

Just the thought makes me unease.

"I hope that our next child won't inherit none of my worst feature… Well, if we have it…"

Green hair, pointed ears, elven heritage—I have the worst package ever… still wondering how Rudeus puts up with the risk. Knowing him, he just doesn't care. I bet he would simply laugh it off, and tell me to take it easy.

"I'm thinking too much…"

This matter doesn't need to weight me more than it should. I was tired, and more than this will make me faint.

I made my way to the bathroom. Taking my clothes off, I entered the bath.

I hope that the water my wash away my sorrows.

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As I dried my hair, I went for Rudeus' room. When I entered, he was sitting on the bed, in thought. "Rudy…?" I first tried to call his name, but to no avail.

I went closer and touched his shoulder, and that made him jump. He literally sprung on two, rigid like an armor. He eyed me, as he sweat bullets from his neck, his pupils darting from anywhere but me.

"S-Sylphie…"

"——"

I was at loss of words. I couldn't understand any of this.

"Sorry… I was, you know, thinking of how to do you tonight…"

"Liar." I instantly said. That I could see through.

"——"

He stood silent, no other word escaping from his throat. We remained like this for a while, no one moving, or saying anything.

He would sometimes glimpse at me, guilt-ridden and pained. He's painstaking over something. Is he considering escaping? Most likely.

I huffed, already tired of it all. I sat on the bed, following Rudeus with my gaze. What could be a good idea to keep him here, in this house?

I still don't know what's in that diary, and that's stressing me further and further.

What can I do; to make him feel home again? What can I do; to make sure I wake up in his arms? What can I do; to make him love us more than he fears us?

Wait. I think I have a plan.

"You wanted to read it tomorrow, right, Rudy?"

"R-Right…" He said, eyeing me suspiciously.

"Why don't we read the first page together… that way, we can both calm down."

"— —"

He didn't answer me immediately. He thought about it for a good second before giving me the heads up.

"It gives off the same vibes of saying 'just the tip'…"

"Just the tip?"

"Never mind. Why… why not."

He took the diary from his desk, reluctantly. He sat with me. I prompted him to go under the sheets, and he followed my suggestion.

The thing I wanted so fervently to scoop from start to finish: for now, I was only allowed to take a simple glimpse—a preview, if summarized.

Now that I had a good look at it, it was basically in tatters: the pages were yellow and ruined, most likely due to the passage of time. It was barely held together. It had a strange smell that inspired a sense of eld.

I gulped, anxiety welling up within my throat. My hands were sweaty, slippery.

Without further ado, I prompted him to start reading. His breath was caught in his throat at first, but after I let myself relax on his shoulder, he finally began reading.

"I've decided to start keeping a diary.

It's been an eventful couple of weeks, you know?

I met Perugius and got a few hints about Zenith's condition. And I'll be learning more about Summoning magic and Teleportation soon. There's a lot I need to deal with, so I figure I'll try writing stuff down to help keep track of it all."

"W–what? These names…"

He didn't mind my words, as if he was expecting them.

"Aisha was pretty down this morning. She found some "weird mouse" dead, I guess. Maybe she's not a fan of rodents.

Apparently, someone found a cat with Petrification Syndrome in the neighborhood. Scary stuff. I'll have to remind my family to wash their hands and rinse their mouths carefully.

We just found out Elinalise is pregnant! Cliff looked incredibly nervous, but Elinalise had a big smile on her face. We threw them a celebration, of course. You've got to appreciate the good times while they're here."

That was it. It was a whole page, but it felt like a second has passed. I wanted to continue, awfully so. But I had enough questions to quench my thirst for more.

"This isn't someone's diary, it's yours…"

But it doesn't make sense; the diary was old, and battered—and Rudeus wasn't old and battered. How does it recollect recent events in its first pages?

Was this a carefully elaborated plan to mislead the curious bunch? He surely was able to, in my case at least.

But that entry covering Aisha and a cat with Petrification Syndrome. It hadn't happened. And the part about Elinalise being pregnant… that would be great news, if it's true.

Wait that reminds of something…

The day after me and Roxy thundered in his room. Aisha said that she found the basement completely frozen at the works of Rudeus, and he had given her an excuse about "taking care of some rodents". And here we are, covering a happening that could have happen, but didn't.

I think the answer is just at the end of my tongue, but I can't quite bring it out.

Rudeus giggled slightly at my thoughtful and confused face, but still retained the awkwardness in his eyes.

"You have lots of questions, don't you. Well, I'll give you an awesome deal of two for one: I'll read you not only the first, but the last page, too. That way, it may be easier to grasp your dilemma."

"——" I nodded violently, curiosity getting the better of me.

His breath caught in his throat, but this time I didn't have to reassure him for him to regain composure.

"I'm going to try travelling to the past.

I still have this old diary on my hands. Using it as a focal point, I just might be able to jump back to the day I started writing it—the day the Man-God tricked me into releasing that mouse and killing Roxy.

I don't know if it's going to work. I don't know what will happen to me if it does work, either. I'm familiar with the concept of time paradoxes, after all.

I wish I were more confident this will work. It's hard to even say if I'll jump back in time as I am now, or just revert to my younger self. Assuming it's the former, though, I need to go over what I'm going to say. At the very least, I need to cover the Petrification Syndrome incident, Eris, and the Man-God.

I'm not sure I'll be able to explain it all. I'm not sure my younger self will even believe me.

And if I revert instead… I don't know how I'll be able to interact with Sylphie and Roxy.

I do want to see them again, of course. I want to tell them how sorry I am. But the thought of overwriting the mind of a happy young man with mine is… honestly, kind of sickening.

Perhaps I should take more time to experiment first. But given the potential risks of a time paradox, I'm hesitant to do so. Say I were to hop back several days in time. What if I leave my memories behind in the process? I'd be trapping myself in an endless, meaningless Loop, dooming myself to live in this miserable world for all eternity.

At least I'd get to see Roxy and Sylphie again the other way…

All right. Enough of this. I'm going to stop overthinking things.

It's not like I have anything left to lose, anyway. I accomplished nothing with my life. I'm a waste of oxygen. Maybe I'll screw this up and ruin everything again, but so what? Why should I give a damn?

And if I succeed…

Well, maybe I can give the Man-God a taste of his own medicine."

Halfway through it, I had already grasped the answer.

"This diary… it's from the future."

Even after he said it, I couldn't believe it. No—it's unbelievable. This story was just too stupidly over-the-top. Traveling back in time; I've never heard of such thing. In any other circumstances, I'd brush off the matter as logically impossible, but if it's Rudeus… then it's not completely farfetched.

"Roxy died…?"

Man–God. I could tell that his name was written with hate. Whoever this is made our future miserable. By the contexts, it seems I died too by his machinations. The Rudeus from the future had to endure it all, without us…

"Who's the Man–God? Is it someone evil…?"

"It's… complicated. He's, in part, the reason we got married."

"W-What…"

"It's hard to believe, I know. I'll explain everything with everyone else."

"——" words failed me.

This is so much. A diary from the future. maybe it's a mislead to—no, that reasoning has lost any base since he offered to read himself the diary. And, after I took a shower, it should've been easy to spot the scent of other women. Now that I think of it, Lilia would've noticed it right away since she comes to clean here everyday. If only I was in the right mind, I would've asked her… but in doing so, I'd neglect forever the existence of that diary.

But he was a loyal man, alright. I can sleep soundly now—mostly.

Though, I can't really grasp why he…

"—Ah."

I think I now understand why he wouldn't read it for us. Maybe after our deaths, he became a different person, someone he was so ashamed of that he kept it a secret.

I don't know how bad it is, but for Rudeus to feel ashamed; It must be something very appalling. I don't like convicting people, but he can get real creepy with his antics. Let's keep it a secret that I know what's in the basement…

Rustling my fingers, I swayed my eyes on the journal clasped in his still trembling hands. His gaze couldn't meet mine, and his face still depicted an ever-growing guilt. It made me jitter, but making a fuss over it is detrimental to my only goal: ending this with a happy ending.

Now, I have a mission: please the hearts of all of us, and extinguish the omens of corruption. This future Rudeus has been trying to protect us from; if I can help him stop it from destroying our hard earned happiness, then I will give out my body and mind to this cause.

"Rudeus. I will stand at your side. That's a promise."

"——"

His mug of anxiety only worsened after my words. I don't know what was going on in his head, but surely it was a clash between equally strong sides.

He let a slow scoff escape his thin lips. His trembling resolved. He faced me this time, a serious expression written on his features. But I was ready this time. Cowering behind my shyness will only fade the value of my words until now.

"Will you follow me, even if I ask you to leave everything behind?"

"—I will."

No question, no second guessing or mindless rumbling. Blind trust; that's what I'm good at, unfortunately.

"What if I told you that I have to kill someone…?"

"I will help you kill them as well."

"What if… I told you that you have to kill someone?"

"If it's in my abilities, I will put my life at stake."

The power in his voice was tremendous. It felt like being under the hammer of a judge, as they aimed to destroy your lies and misconceptions.

Yet, my resolve; my love for you, Rudeus, will always be sincere, and I've already vowed my existence to you.

Now, in determination we are equal. For the enmity of our bubble of happiness, we will risk every ounce of us. For that is our duty, as the leaders of our household.

"——"

"——"

He put his only hand behind my neck and brought me in an embrace. He was quivering, yet I can feel it—he's showing me, with this hug, that even if he can't fully trust me about the diary, he wishes to do so.

"Sylphie, really… I'd be far off worse without you."

"I'm sure you'd be fine."

He eyed the diary, doubting my words of encouragement.

"If you read this, you'd eat your words right away."

"Don't worry. Rudy, what you could become doesn't concern who you are. My father…" at the reminiscence, a breath escaped my throat, but I pressed on. "He taught me that, if we only worry about the future, the present will lose meaning."

"——"

"I don't know what hardships your future self has experienced, but it won't be the same." I continued. "Now, you have that diary, and me. This time, things will be fine. I assure you."

"——"

He looked at me in doubt.

I felt kind of underestimated, but mindlessly thinking with my emotions is the recipe for self-destruction. I hugged him back, his breath now less restless.

In our cuddling, and occasional groping—he's still Rudeus I guess—my mind naturally drifted to sleepiness.

My breath grew fainter and fainter, as my mind receded.

… … …

…

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In an eternal white space, an untouchable being trembled in frustration.

It cursed the unexpected. It cursed it's victim. It cursed it's luck.

The Man-God was furious. Just minutes before his plan for getting rid of Roxy Migurdia and her descendant was set in motion, everything was snuffled away by whom he thought to be just the marionette in his strings.

He had been careless. He let such a subtle variable destroy years of hard work. Now, not only the birth of the child of prophecy was inevitable. Rudeus was no longer someone he could toy around with.

But still, there might be a way…

After all, Rudeus was weak-minded. He had enough wits to not completely pass as in imbecile, but when it came to the well-being being of his loved ones, he was even dumber than the first Dragon God.

Maybe with a little twist here and there… it's still possible.

He can still destroy Rudeus' family and stop the birth of his descendants.

The Man-God smiled.

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