Chapter Note: Emotions can be hard to deal with…

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She pulled back sharply, Kakashi's hand dropping from her cheek as she covered her mouth with the back of her hand, face burning hot and a whimper escaping her. Kakashi just sighed and she could see him in the dimly lit room pulling his mask back up.

"I'm sorry," she said before she could stop herself. He hadn't stopped looking at her as her gaze dropped to the ground between them.

"What are you sorry for?" he asked, sounding tired.

"I… that was my first kiss… and I really need time to think about this. We don't know what's going to happen to me when we get back to Konoha. We can't put ourselves in a position to get hurt if I'm thrown in a cell or worse… Not that I don't feel like this could be something to try, I just can't accept it if I don't know what's going to happen to me." She was mumbling, suddenly feeling ashamed for not being able to control herself. A hand on her shoulder brought her eyes back up to meet his.

"You won't be thrown in a cell 'or worse.' I know it's hard, but trust me. I won't lie and say everything is going to be fine, but we'll figure it out. We can come back to this when you're ready." They were simple words but the honesty meant a lot to her. She nodded and he dropped his hand from her shoulder.

"Let's get some sleep," she mumbled. He nodded and laid down on his futon. She wrapped herself in the sleeping bag she was borrowing, ignoring that his scent was surrounding her. At least that's what she told herself as she nuzzled closer into the fabric.

The next day, they pretended that nothing had happened. Kakashi was his usual self but she could tell that he was still exhausted and he was using the day to rest so she didn't bother him aside from meals throughout the day. She spent time with Inari's mother, helping with chores around the home while Tazuna wasn't there to tell her not to. She could tell Inari's mother was thankful for the help.

At the end of the day, everyone was sitting around the dinner table. Naruto and Sasuke were eating furiously until they both finally threw up. Apparently it was a competition. After Sakura and Kakashi were finished giving their own lectures, Avurin stood, putting her hands down on the table firmly.

"Boys, Inari's mother and I worked very hard on that food and even made extra to help you recover your energy for your training. Be respectful at the table and put your competitions aside when you walk through the door to this home, no, any home for that matter. You won't be getting any more food tonight. Clean up your mess." She was gritting her teeth as she took her plate to the sink, cleaning it quickly and stomping out of the room. She knew they were kids but they were disrespectful and getting more and more irritating to deal with as the days passed.

She went up to her and Kakashi's room, shutting the door behind her. She was already stressed enough with the impending battle with Zabuza and Haku, then after that she would have to face Konoha's punishment if she survived. She couldn't handle bickering children. She dug through her bag in the corner of the room, pulling out Icha Icha Paradise before sitting cross-legged on the sleeping bag she was borrowing from Kakashi. The cover looked well-worn at this point and the pages were yellowed from use.

Propping herself against Kakashi's futon, she opened the book and started reading. She hadn't actually read the book in its entirety since that old pervert had given it to her, she had just barely read enough to understand that it was just porn before it found a permanent place on her bookshelf. She didn't have anything better to do so she thought reading it at this point would at least be entertaining.

"Mah, making me jealous?" Kakashi chimed in from the doorway as she was finishing the first chapter. She glanced up at him and carefully turned the page.

"Just seeing what there is to love about this now, thanks to you, worn down old book. If you're reading it as often as your students say you are, there has to be something thrilling about it." She tried to stay as calm as possible as he took off his jacket and sat down next to her. He peeked over her shoulder and she snapped the book shut.

"Hey! If you're going to hold onto it, at least let me read it too!" he mocked being hurt as she tossed the book back into the pile of their things.

"Nope! You've had enough time to read it and be a pervert in front of your cute little self-centered, over-competitive students. I choose when I want to read it and you can deal with that." She huffed, moving to sit down on the sleeping bag. He raised an eyebrow at her.

"So, you're still upset with them." It wasn't a question, it was a statement. She crossed her arms.

"I'll get over it. They needed the lesson on respect to those making their food." Kakashi sighed and tilted his head, looking at the ceiling in exasperation.

"I doubt it'll stick. Don't get too upset about it or hold it against them. I still have trouble making lessons matter to them when they get so caught up in their competitions or little fights." He sounded as tired as he looked in that moment. She relaxed a little and leaned back with her hands on the floor.

"So, how exactly did the Kakashi that I remember get stuck with such a troublesome team? Payback from the Hokage, perhaps?" she teased. He sighed again and closed his exposed eye. She hated that his face was covered, he had a handsome face and his Sharingan was almost mesmerizing. Yet, she understood the need for some privacy, especially with his traits that would have people asking questions left and right.

"Something like that, I'm sure. I've been through a lot since I was that snarky little brat that you remember. I wouldn't put it past Lord Third to stick me with some snarky brats to remind me of where I came from." She bristled.

"Lord Third? What happened to Lord Fourth?" she asked before she could stop herself. She had been so isolated in that cabin that she had never gotten any updates on the state of things in Konoha. She hadn't wanted to know at the time, however, she had to know this kind of information before she just skipped back into the village. From the drop in Kakashi's shoulders and the very serious darkness that took over Kakashi's eye, she knew it wasn't good.

"You don't know anything about what happened after you left the village, do you?" he asked, voice dry. She felt her breath hitch and sat up straight, crossing her legs.

"No. I thought I would never go back. I need to know before I walk back into this mess." she stated as calmly as she could. Kakashi straightened as best that he could to convey the gravity of the situation before explaining, his tone grave.

"You left just before Lord Fourth married his wife. Her name was Kushina Uzumaki and she was a Jinchuriki and carried the Nine-Tailed Fox sealed inside of her. After they were married, she became pregnant and they planned a ritual for the day that she gave birth to prevent the Kyuubi from escaping. I… I was given the day off, apparently a plan from the beginning by Lord Fourth so that I wouldn't put myself in danger in case things didn't go well. Of course, something went wrong and the Kyuubi destroyed large parts of Konoha until Lord Fourth and Kushina sacrificed themselves to save Konoha and sealed the Kyuubi into their newborn baby boy. The boy's name is Naruto Uzumaki." He gave her a moment to process this before sighing and finishing. "Lord Third came out of retirement and took the hat after the incident and he will be the Hokage until a new Hokage is appointed." He finished with a quiet tone and Avurin felt herself shivering, tears coming to her eyes.

"I'm… I'm so sorry…" she said quietly as she felt the tears fall down. She hadn't paid much attention to the other teams due to her own struggles but she knew that Lord Fourth had been a Jonin instructor and Kakashi had been on his team as a Genin and Chunin. He had a reputation so there had been a lot of talk of Kakashi from her own teammates as well as Gai and Asuma. Minato Namikaze had been named Hokage shortly before she had left. It was safe to say that Kakashi had been at least close to his instructor and to be teaching his Sensei's child after losing his own Sensei had to be difficult. The guilt of leaving before the destruction of her own village ate at her and she closed her eyes, letting out a quiet sob. Her throat hurt, constricting her breathing, and her heart ached as she gave in to the emotions hitting her like a tsunami.

"I should have been there…" she whispered, covering her face with shaking hands. Gloved hands pulled her own from her face, revealing her beet red face, tears, and a runny nose to the man that she had kissed the previous night and who had been the one to lose his Sensei that night. She kept her eyes shut so she couldn't see the look on the Jonin's face, watching this girl break down in front of him.

"You couldn't have known. None of us saw it coming. The only one who seemed to have an idea was Lord Fourth and that was only because he was actually quite paranoid. Don't blame yourself for running away, Avurin. We lost a lot of good shinobi that day and I'm glad that you weren't there to lose your life as well. You had good reason to be away and now you're coming back. The rest will fall into place. The past is the past." The shushing words from Kakashi didn't stop the flow of tears but the heat from his hands holding hers was reassuring.

"I-I know it's not completely rational to be so upset. I just… I just can't believe that I covered my eyes and ears to everything that was happening in Konoha and just… just stuck my head in the sand while my home was destroyed and innocent people died…'' she sobbed. The hands holding hers slipped away for a moment only to come back, holding the back of her head and wrapping around the back of her shoulders. She found her face pressed against a dark blue shirt and cried harder, letting out a pitiful, muted wail into Kakashi's chest.

"You called it 'my home…'" Kakashi's voice rumbled next to her ear. She sniffled and nodded. "Everything will fall into place, Avurin. What has already happened can't be changed as much as we wish it could. We can just protect our home and the people in it until the next generation takes over for us. That's why I'm helping teach the next generation. That boy wants to become Hokage… Some people can't stand to hear it from the child carrying the demon that killed their loved ones. However, he doesn't give up. He has the Will of Fire. He doesn't know who his parents are or what happened, it's a law in the village currently to not tell him. One day, he'll discover it on his own and I plan to be there to stoke the flame as he charges forward to fulfill his dream and prove those people wrong. He's leading the next generation and wants to bring peace. We just need to protect him and teach him until he can. You care. We need more shinobi that care. That's why I know that everything will be okay when you come back."

She started to calm down, her breathing evening out as exhaustion started to take over. She nodded into Kakashi's chest again. The message was clear. Mourn now and move on. Teach the next generation to not make the same mistakes. The past may be soaked with blood, but the future doesn't have to be. She started to notice the situation she was in as her awareness came back to her. She was in Kakashi's lap from how close he had pulled her, the arm that had been around her shoulders was now around her lower back and the other was pressing her face to his chest in a firm hold. His chin was on top of her head, his breathing slightly hitched. She pulled her face from his shirt, wincing at the stickiness of her tears and runny nose made itself apparent.

She should have been mortified and embarrassed, but she was comfortable. She could admit to herself that the comfort felt nice after so long on her own. She hadn't had someone to hug when things hurt since she had been around Gai and Asuma and even then, Gai's hugs hadn't always been consensual. They definitely hadn't been in a position as intimate as this one. She adjusted herself to bring her arms around Kakashi's midsection, clutching at the back of his shirt and pressing her forehead against his chest, keeping her head down, hoping she wasn't pushing Kakashi past what was comfortable.

"Let's get to bed, Avie," Kakashi whispered. She sighed and pulled herself away from his chest, pulling her hands away at the same time he did. She sat back, pushing herself out of his lap while rubbing at her eyes. Her head hurt and the loss of the brief comfort left her feeling empty. She silently berated herself for the moment of weakness and for pushing for too much in her touch-starved thoughts. Kakashi stood with a quiet groan, taking off his gloves and pushing his forehead protector back over his eye. Her own eyes narrowed. When had he revealed his Sharingan and why? He seemed to notice her suspicion and shrugged, nonchalant. "I was just making sure no one could hear or see us."

"Makes sense," she sighed. Stretching her arms above her head, she shook her head to try to get the fogginess to go away. Kakashi settled on the futon and looked in her direction, a hesitant look in his eye. He hadn't pulled the comforter over himself.

"I know the sudden bad news is hard to just ignore. I still respect your decision but you look like you don't exactly want to sleep by yourself." He avoided eye contact with her and the question he was trying not to outright ask became obvious. He had made room for her on the futon. She thought for a moment before throwing her reservations to the wind. Nodding and laying down next to him, she pulled the comforter over both of them as she turned off the lamp in the room.

"Thank you…" she whispered to him in the dark. She felt his arm pressed against her own from where they were laid side-by-side on the small futon, the warmth being a comfort by itself. She couldn't help but want what he'd been willing to give her earlier and with how emotionally drained she was, her hesitations about asking were almost nonexistent. "You can… you know…" she mumbled, turning over on her side facing away from him. He seemed to take the hint without giving her any trouble and she felt him press against her back, an arm slowly wrapping around her waist and pulling her close. His grip was firm but comfortable, no hesitation in his actions once she didn't express any discomfort. It was comforting and almost protective. She hadn't shared a bed with a man before this but she was finding that she was already becoming very reliant on the comfort that it offered in this vulnerable moment.

"Sleep well…" he whispered from right behind her head. She felt a light blush on her face but didn't hesitate in returning the statement.

"Sleep well, Kakashi."

Author's Note for Fanfic net Readers: Hey guys! I really hope y'all are enjoying the story I'm writing and I'm happy to say that this fanfic is going very smoothly compared to others I've written in the past! If you've looked at my profile, you'll see some partially finished fanfics that have stalled out or were outright abandoned several years ago and I'm happy to say that this one is already written far ahead of where it is now so I can almost guarantee weekly updates for the foreseeable future. I really appreciate the feedback I've been getting from you guys and hope y'all continue to enjoy the story! I've responded to the reviews below.

Bennettnasagirl: Thank you so much for your reviews both here and AO3! I really appreciate the support and hope that you continue to enjoy the story as it progresses! We're in for a long ride so I look forward to seeing your feedback as I continue to update this story.

Thereddqueen: Thank you so much for your reviews! I'm so glad that you like my style and pacing and I hope you continue to enjoy how things play out over the next few chapters.

Crimson Princess of Miracles: Thank you so much for your review! I'm so glad you were able to find it on AO3 without problems since I was kind of insecure about posting this on AO3 with that site being "the big leagues" in my opinion. I was worried it would get lost! Avie will have conflicting feelings about Konoha, however I'm sure you'll be happy with what she finds when she returns. ;)