Case 6: The God Butcher

Loki stood alone, waiting anxiously. He felt more nervous than he'd ever been in his life as he looked around the halls of the palace, until he finally saw his mother approach. "Loki, it's time." He nodded, and she led him into the throne room, his family and friends watching silently as Frigga walked him down the aisle, until they reached a lovely lady in a beautiful dress. Loki glanced down at his own suit and back at his bride-to-be, both variants in matching green.

Sitting at the throne of Asgard wasn't Odin, however, but Mobius, who officiated the ceremony. "Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today to join these two Lokis in holy matrimony. Sylvie, do you take Loki to be your lawfully wedded husband?"

"I do."

"Loki, do you take Sylvie to be your wife?"

"I do."

"And Grievance, do you take Loki and Sylvie to be your husband and wife, now and forever?"

"Wait, what?!" Loki asked, bewildered.

"I dooo."

"Then by the power vested in me-"

"Stop, Mobius, hold on just a-"

"I now pronounce you-"

"Mobius, wait, what did you mean-"

"-husband, wife, and Symbiote."

"Stop! I- I object!" Loki shouted as Mobius went on.

"You may kiss the brides."

"What?" Loki's shocked expression turned into one of sheer horror as the woman removed her veil to reveal Grievance's black, oozing face, light green, blank monstrous eyes, and huge fangs.

"Now give us a kiss!" Loki struggled to no end as the terrifying alien flicked his pointed tongue and kissed him on the lips.

Loki startled awake, thankfully realizing he was dreaming. "That's it, you've got to go." He thought as he hopped off his bed and made his way towards his therapist. "Mobius?"

"Loki, breakfast first! We are hungry!" Loki stopped by the kitchen, freshly stocked thanks to their reward from the Contraxians. He grabbed some grapes and strawberries from the fridge and some assorted nuts from the cupboard. "Wait! Take some chocolate sauce to dip them in!"

"Fine." Loki grabbed a bowl and some chocolate syrup, in addition to a full bottle of fine wine, on the move again until he found his mustachioed friend. "Mobius, I need help!" Loki told him everything he knew about Grievance, including his recent nightmare, as he had his breakfast.

"So, it seems you're afraid of Grievance taking control of your life. Sounds like a perfectly normal subconscious reaction to such an abnormal circumstance." Mobius analyzed. "You're hesitant about this 'bond' you share with him; do you think maybe, deep down, you're equally afraid of taking the bond of matrimony, of losing your independence, and your subconscious is confusing the two bonds to scare you away from them both?"

"No, I-I love Sylvie."

"That is true."

"I just want it to be her and me, together. But… yes, I'm… quite afraid of him taking over my body. Afraid of him…"

"Eating my brain?"

"…perhaps. No, he promised me he wouldn't."

"And you trust him?"

"Nothing as naive as that. Our minds are linked: when he speaks, I can tell if he's lying, and as of yet, he hasn't. He's a simple creature, practically speaks his mind."

"You're sure that's not him influencing your mind already?" Loki was unsure how to respond this time, pondering his therapist's query. "Isn't it a little early in the morning to be drinking?" Mobius asked as Loki took a swig of wine.

"This is the Null-Time Zone: time works differently here."

"Touché! So, I was sitting on the throne of Asgard, huh? Did I have a scepter, maybe a little crown?"

"I don't think so. I don't remember."

"He didn't. He was in his regular office-man suit."

"Maybe you need another kind of help. Maybe you need a doctor, a specialist."

Loki rolled his eyes, anticipating Mobius's plan. "Oh, of course." As Mobius opened up a time door to the particular doctor he had in mind, the detective hotline began to ring.

Mobius sighed. "Not now. I'll tell whoever it is to call back."

"What if it's a serious case?"

"Loki, right now, you're a serious case! Go on." Loki left as his analyst picked up the phone.

"Hey, are you the famous Time Detectives from the ad?"

"Yeah, and if this is a prank call, I'm really not in the mood."

"It's no prank, it's a serial killer, man! My friend's really set on finding and stopping him, but we don't know who he-or she is, and I don't want him to get himself killed, y'know?"

"I- I'm sorry, can you call back later? My partner's really unwell, and he needs to see the doctor."

"Oh, yeah, poor guy, hope he feels better." The client said sincerely.

"Thanks for understanding. Bye."

"Bye." They hung up, and the Kronan client answered his insectoid roommate, "One of the detectives is sick, Miek: I'll try calling back later. I have this feeling that Thor's gonna need all the help he can get, even with his new godbod!" Miek chirped in agreement.

Meanwhile, through the reaches of outer space soared the Benetar, being pulled along by two large goats, and inside, the ship's captain Starlord discussed their mission with his team as an upbeat song from the 1980s played over the speaker.

"So Thor, you're saying this Zeus guy is sending you to fight some creature who's powerful enough to kill gods?!"

"He is sending me to check on his fellow gods, because of the reports of a supposed god-killer. I do not know if there's any truth to them, but you never know these days. Zeus is the Greek god of lightning, kind of counterpart to me, being god of thunder." The blond bearded man in Asgardian armor replied.

"And who was this guy we're supposed to be protecting?"

"His son, Hercules. He's pretty popular on Earth: handsome, powerful, courageous, kind of like a poor man's Thor. He's famous for hunting and slaying many monsters, finding and taking holy artifacts. He's very strong too: he once held up Midgard's sky for Atlas, before he tricked him into carrying it again for all eternity."

"The whole sky?!" Rocket scoffed. "That sounds like it'd be a real pain in the ass!"

"No." Drax corrected. "That sounds like it would be a real pain in the arms!"

"Regardless, if he is in need of our assistance, The Asgardians of the Galaxy should help." Thor insisted.

"I am Groot."

"Groot's got a good point: a famous pair of gods like that have gotta pay out some huge rewards!" Rocket pointed out. "I wonder if they can give us immortality if we save enough of their godly butts?"

"I did not know that immortality came from god butts!" Mantis innocently gasped. "How very fascinating and disgusting!"

Nebula groaned. "I didn't give my sister enough credit to her endurance for putting up with these idiots for so long."

"And Zeus was kind enough to give us these two wonderful goats, Toothgnasher and Toothgrinder!" Thor exclaimed. "You'll get us to Midgard, won't you boys?"

"Maaa~"

"Alright, but I ain't stepping one more foot on Earth, got it!?" Starlord protested.

"Got it, captain stays with the ship, but you'll be missing out on the adventure." Thor smiled, looking forward to his trip back to Earth, for now.

Back at 177A Bleeker Street, New York, in 2025, the Time Detectives knocked at the door of the Sanctum Sanctorum, requesting Stephen Strange himself this time. They waited a few minutes as he reluctantly came to the front door.

"Maybe you guys could give some kind of telepathic notice in advance? At least enough time to prepare the tea table?" Strange quipped.

"Doctor Strange, Loki has some kind of symbiotic alien inside him, and you're the most qualified surgeon we know to help him!" Mobius summarized.

"Lucky me." Strange mumbled sarcastically.

"I know you're not fond of me, but you have remarkable talent in both medical and magical practices." Loki reasoned. "Please, this is extremely urgent!"

"Well… if it's urgent enough to make you say please, then I'd definitely say it's worth a look." Inside the medical room of the Sanctum, Strange steadied his hands with his magic and took a deep breath, not having had a patient in years, let alone a Frost Giant or Asgardian patient. He was relieved to find Loki's X-ray's proved similar to a human's, at least until he found Grievance. "He's bonded to your central nervous system, wrapped around your spinal cord. Can you get him to talk for me?"

"That's no problem, it's getting him stop talking that's the trick."

"I hear the pot calling the kettle black."

Strange watched the X-ray monitor as the message was sent to Loki's brain. "Yup, just as I suspected, he communicates to you the same way your brain and your body does naturally. Though you calling him long-winded would be the pot calling the kett-"

"Too late, he already used that idiom against me."

"Of course he did. The thing is, I can't remove him physically without removing your spine, which I'm assuming even Asgardians need."

"Yes, I should say so!"

"There are medications any doctor on Earth could prescribe you, but I doubt they'd be effective against an alien parasite."

"Symbiote!"

"And magically?"

"I~ might know a spell that can cast out demons and monsters. Maybe it could get rid of your parasite."

"Don't even think about it, human organ platter!"

"He's threatening me, isn't he?" Doctor Strange guessed from Loki's brain activity and Grievance's glare in his direction. Loki nodded. Strange summoned his spellbook and began to recite an incantation, but before he could finish, black appendages grabbed his wrists, binding them behind his back, and the Symbiote's head emerged from Loki's chest to speak for all to hear.

"Oh no you don't!" He opened his mouth wide over the doctor's head, but Loki held his Symbiote's mouth open.

"Grievance, stop, he's trying to help!"

Grievance broke free of his host's grip. "He is trying to separate us! Command this pathetic human meat sack to back off, or I will have his brains for my midmorning snack!"

Strange raised an eyebrow. "No wonder you wanted him gone. Hey, Wong?" The Sorcerer Surpreme rushed to the scene, readying himself for battle.

"He's weak to fire!" Mobius advised.

"Traitor!"

"The Brazier of Bom'Galiath!" Wong fired the ancient cannon, and Loki and Grievance simultaneously screamed as the Symbiote was hit head-on with a great ball of fire! Furious, Grievance lunged at Wong, who cast a shield, while Strange, freed from the Symbiote's hold, continued his continued to protect Strange until he finished, and both Loki and Grievance glowed with a yellow light. When the light faded, the duo both remained unaffected.

Doctor Strange shook his head. "Sorry, that's all I can do. Whatever he is, he's nothing the sorcerers on Earth have knowledge of. He's too closely bonded to you, and I doubt any spell can break it."

Loki sighed. "I see. And I felt that fireball, Wong, but I appreciate your efforts. Alright Grievance, you can stay- for now."

"Awesomesauce."

Hi, readers! Yup, it's all been leading up to this, a very big case, inspired by the events of Love and Thunder! I've wanted an excuse to bring the Odinson brothers together again!

I'm going to write my story as much as possible before I see the movie, because I do not plan on spoiling anything here, so this version will likely be very different from the real film! (And why not: it's fanfiction.) Tbh, this story might be more "Loki: Love, Mischief, and Thunder featuring Thor, but Thor's still going to get his chance to shine!